Input: Schweigen ist Gold – wann du besser einfach die Klappe hältst

Yeah.

Hello?

Is anyone here?

No panic.

We just went for a short swim.

Swim?

And that's what's going on in this input folk.

And don't worry.

I'm not going to swim for half an hour or so.

But here at the beginning it starts with a bass with a swim arrangement and then everyone

experiences swim again.

Because something happens with us when we experience swim.

In the sense that my podcast app is hanging or I didn't arrive.

What's wrong?

Swim does something with us.

And that's what I want to look at next.

I ask, why does swim irritate at the first moment?

If this break takes longer than 1.5 seconds, we usually get a little nervous and start

to intervene.

And to limit it, it's not about the meditative swim where a week goes by in a monastery,

swim and think to yourself, that you shouldn't go there.

I'm looking for everyday situations where swim is better than blablabla.

I just feel like I'm getting back into situations where swim is more important.

Situations where silver is spoken and swim is gold.

Although there's nothing to say about it, it's connected with an incredible intimacy.

I want to swim, which is often a little deeper in communication.

I want to swim to give it a chance.

I'm looking for the good side of swim.

In point.

It's been a few weeks.

At the end of the meeting, we had a cold.

The voice was a little scratchy.

But otherwise, over a mountain.

And afterwards, it's clear, yes, I'm going to keep drinking tea, stay at home,

read a book or leave a podcast.

Because I've already done this, I'm drinking beer, I have a loud concert, bad air.

And I've talked too long, too loud.

And that was the second concert, two weeks after that.

It was a mistake.

My voice was so scratchy that I swiped a day today.

I looked at the internet afterwards.

I was at home.

And then it helped me somehow and I don't know what else.

But mainly, the voice is beautiful in that way.

You don't need it. Swim.

And now I'm going to talk to you again for the first time.

For the recording of the whole set.

I had a family business, so I had to handle the household with the kids at home.

It was a real challenge.

I tried to talk as little as possible.

And then it got a little bit worse.

And then it was quite sad.

And then it went pretty well.

I really didn't say anything on that day.

So during the whole day, certainly less than anything else,

only until this input episode.

And then on that day, I noticed,

swiping is actually a pretty power tool.

If I saw something today,

because it didn't change,

then these very few words

outside of the swiping

really had a bigger impact on me

than what I talked about the whole day.

I'm just starting to record one.

Okay, let's get started.

This is the German language expert,

Sina Lautenschläger.

She studies swiping for five years.

She tells me that swiping

has a completely different meaning

depending on the place in the world,

or a completely different weight.

There are swiping and swiping cultures.

We in Europe are swiping cultures.

Other than the North European countries,

for example Finland, Sweden,

they belong to swiping cultures.

And the Asian countries

are basically belong to swiping cultures.

Now, what does it mean?

Swiping and swiping cultures

look like

swiping cultures.

There are so-called talkers,

so you call it turn-taking.

And in every conversation,

you always get to a point

where you can use the right to talk.

Often it's about taking a break.

In talking cultures,

you realize that this turn-taking,

that this break before taking the right to talk,

if it's longer than 1.5 seconds,

that doesn't sound like much,

but you like to take a break

in your own conversations

from 1.5 seconds to swiping.

That can really be hell.

If this break in talking cultures

takes longer than 1.5 seconds,

we usually get a little nervous

and try to underline the risk of swiping

and start intervening.

For example, we ask the question

just as we asked you

or we formulate it

or we say,

hello, haven't you listened to me?

In talking cultures,

these breaks are much longer

and based on these breaks,

you have set up this theory

that one is a swiping culture

and the other is a talking culture.

Okay, I've never thought about it

but it also means

that if we talk to someone

from a swiping culture

and it's too early to take a break in the morning,

that it can irritate the other.

So, while with us,

it's unhappily

and if it's too long to take a break

or to pause,

in talking cultures,

it's unhappily if you start talking too early.

So, if you think about the break

and start talking too early

like, hey, haven't you listened to me?

Didn't you understand me? Should I ask the question again?

Then, so to speak,

people from

for example North-European countries

basically giggled or swiped over the mouth

because, so to speak,

they were talking too early in the morning.

Okay. So, first of all,

in what cultural context

do we swip?

And in our talking culture,

it's already 1.5 seconds

for us to say a pause swiping.

1.5 seconds

is from now

to now.

And of course, there are

a lot of different ways of swiping.

It's a loud hit.

There are also very common ways of swiping

that we wouldn't recognize as swiping

because it's also a form of swiping

that we need

to be able to communicate

and talk to each other.

If they would talk to me at the same time,

they would have a problem

at home.

And that's also a form of swiping

that we wouldn't

want to label as swiping

because it's so self-evident

that we don't want

to use the expression

of swiping at all.

1.5 seconds

is from now

to now.

Okay.

But if we could now

swip in everyday life,

then we would swip a good reaction.

Good morning, Matthias.

The importer, Matthias Digg,

called me up.

We meet

at his home.

I'm 53 years old.

I was a father of two daughters.

He was a secondary teacher.

He worked as a professional school teacher

for 21 years.

He was 8 years old.

And now he works

as a professional officer

at the Swiss Army.

And here I'm proud of

a professional officer

who wants to talk to me

about his experiences with swiping.

I can give you an input

to the subject of prejudices.

But sorry, I'm going to stop.

As I told you,

his experiences with swiping

made him a professional school teacher.

Back to the subject.

Matthias

heard my call about swiping.

He realized that swiping

is an important subject in his life.

That's why he works

consciously with swiping.

And he crystallized for me

that if I put it in consciously,

there are two forms of swiping.

On the one hand,

there are the absolute swiping

that we don't really talk about.

And there is a swiping

that is not necessarily

a quiet swiping,

but rather a

content swiping.

The word content swiping

was mainly used as a professional school teacher.

If someone came with an opinion,

he added,

not commented, not commented,

only asked and talked to people.

In many of these cases

the solution

or the perspective

came from the people

themselves.

That's why I gave

them a kind of advice

that they could

reflect in a reliable environment.

They reflect themselves,

reflect the situation.

And that was something I noticed

that a lot of people

helped.

That's why I came back here.

Another swiping that Matthias

said absolutely

was used when employees

or friends were in very difficult situations.

For example, the death of people

or at least in prison.

A very conscious moment,

no matter where you are

from the bank

or in a restaurant

or in a drink

you are here.

But the actual situation

is not talked about here.

It can really be that

there is silence

and that

there is more value

in it

to know

how we are doing it,

to understand how we are doing it.

It knows that at the moment

it is not so good for me.

And we have to talk about it now

without being dead.

And it was before that

that he swiped with someone

but it didn't work out.

Here he has to know

very, very well.

I think he has to have a certain

lead to the situation

that he thinks about.

That we are now thinking

about the situation

that we can already think about.

And if we swip together

then these are very intense moments.

Although there is nothing

to say about it,

it is connected

to some kind of intimacy.

And if in any situation

someone is going to text you

and lead you to everything

then intimacy can be lost

in Mathias Dicke.

If you have seen everything

that there is to say about the situation

then there is danger

that if you continue to talk

about it

then you will have

commonalities, flatitudes

and I think

it will be like

you want to talk about the situation

and then there

I think

it is a misunderstanding

the feeling of

intimacy that is so important

in this situation

that you can destroy it.

Ok, so you can meet

someone who is in a crisis

and swip very consciously.

I have never done that

but I can imagine

that it can be nice

that can help

just be quiet together.

I have to pay attention

quiet is the wrong word

that we are talking about

when we say

be quiet and swip

that is not the same.

Swiping and being quiet

share the commonality that both are nothing

but swiping is nothing

that is measured by communicative meaning

and being quiet

that communicative meaning is missing.

We are not

around the clock

to communicate

and that is why we are not around

to swip around the clock

but we have

commonalities

that I would like to call

as being quiet.

If you are quiet

at that moment there is no meaning

you may be tired and quiet

but if you move

consciously and send

the same signal

swiping always has some meaning

when we swip we do not talk

but when we swip

we say something.

Matias asked

what is the earth in these situations

for a message to send?

I think the main signal

is

for you here

you can call me back

if you need something

but when it is right

for you

we do not have to go deeper

but I think

the main aspect is

in the signal

when you need me

It sounds really good

and why not

support someone in a crisis

but I can not

imagine it so specifically

just do it

swiping is something

that I would like to say

if you need

you can talk about it

but you can also

swiping

it is clear

that we do not

have to meet again

we are not yet in the 100th detail

we are still in the situation

and so on.

One example is a good friend

of him who has separated

his wife from him

and we are still a bit like Gret

or just for his warning

about the situation

that is why he came to the fire

to reflect on this

and the other two times

we said hello

we said goodbye

and in between it was quiet

and there

I got a press

message from him

that it was a moment

when he appreciated

that

it is someone here

who knows the situation

but we do not have to

discuss it there

who said he had

given a lot of energy

to be able to

do it again

Swiping

you both know

there is nothing to say

but we stick together

in such a context

it is called swiping

of course something completely different

than for example when you are

swiping on a street

when you are fighting

you will swiping

what you never enter

but the context of the fight

is close

people are hurt

it is definitely not a comfortable swiping

just like when you enter a church

you are second

and go into a church

as soon as you enter this church

you will not talk to each other

or just whisper very quietly

because this place of the church

gives such a swiping order

and there you can

remove this swiping

you do not care about me

but the place of the church

or the library

gives you

how to interpret this swiping

the context is

what we

do in a swiping

what we do not read into it

very different interpretations

from the swiping

Matias Tick experienced this

a week before our interview

he had to go to the hospital

because of an operation

and he was in a second room

when I entered this room

and he said

have a good day

wish you a good appetite

he did not have a snorkel

and then I entered

and so on

the first night was operated

and so on

and until the fight

we did not change a word

no word

the elderly person came

to the room one night later

within the first two and a half hours

he knew almost everything

where I would do

and so on

and he gave me a name

where we did not have a word

together

but the quality of this swiping

was completely different

than that

what he did with the elderly neighbor

and then we are back

we knew from the beginning

if there is anything

I can ask the other

he could help me

he could speak

we were together

and because he did not say anything

he did not say anything

but it is true

and the other

for me

it was a burden

now we have heard a lot

about empathic swiping

how to deal with it

how to deal with one person

how to deal with a situation

how to deal with a situation

in a conflict

can you swiping

then it was a solution

and indeed

the importer Anna Tanda

said she would go to a coffee

just black

Anna called

to talk about swiping

I have two children

and

a good

friend circle

I am involved with him

and I am at 80%

in a firm

as the exponent

in the line of service

in the line of media

and she sets her mind

to swiping

I always notice

that when swiping

it is

a fight

or a serious discussion

in the afternoon

when everyone

is screaming

or listening

then I notice

that it makes no sense

and then I prefer to swiping

but what is important

after swiping

maybe two hours

then people are

very open

because

they came down

from their stress

after two hours

and on the other hand

because I have the feeling

they are open

for constructive criticism

from my point of view

it is very good

but how difficult is it

for you in the heat of a fight

to be not fair

the first impulse

would be

to talk to someone

and to bring my argument

and to take it back

Yes, that would be my lesson

I have worked in a firm

for 18 years

and I have experienced a lot

I have seen a lot

and I have noticed

that it is

the wrong reaction

but it is also the wrong reaction

and then

in a conflict situation

if you don't know

the strategy

of taking it back

it could be arrogant

or there would be

direct reactions

in a conflict situation

why do you have

nothing to do with it

No, I don't

I look at the person

and they talk

harshly

and the person will also

notice

I follow

I look at them

and when they are done

I don't just go out

and take it back

I look around

and go

and the person will also notice

that it is

arrogant

and then it will be interpreted

No, this is not an experience

The strategy of the Swiss

is based on the job

for example, with their growing daughters

I have to say

for me

nothing

or for me it would be difficult

to take back

any heated discussion

and at the moment

to say nothing

and yes, that is certainly the main question

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

M

Is it always like that?

Arnold Rezzer, psychologist and partherapist from Germany, has a different opinion.

He also says that we have to be independent to be able to work together.

I think that this is an important criterion,

from a functioning relationship,

that we can work together,

that we don't have to discuss on German shit,

but we can work together

in a form of, I would say,

a kind of connection,

that can't be reached in this form.

A team-connection to move forward,

as Matthias described before.

Do you agree?

Arnold Rezzer goes on.

He says that we have to do a good job.

Is it really worth talking about it?

Or can we just let it be?

Do we want to save ourselves,

if we just move forward?

That's why his partner,

his partner, doesn't always say everything he thinks.

At the beginning of a relationship,

it's very useful,

where you're asked what you think,

what you feel right now.

With the continuous duration of the relationship,

you should be very careful,

when you're asked what you think,

what you feel right now,

and what you can do on a bright evening,

when you're thinking about the attractive neighbour.

Sometimes, it's really about talking about it

and talking about it.

Input.

And now, shortly before the end,

a look behind the scenes of the Input Podcast.

In this case,

two expert voices have just arrived from Germany.

And now we can ask ourselves,

Hello, Swiss Podcast.

Why don't there be Swiss experts

and experts we can ask?

And then it's like this.

We try to ask as many people

from Switzerland as possible.

But,

or maybe as a listener,

sometimes not aware,

it's quite difficult

to find experts and experts.

The person has to have something to say

and talk to a certain extent.

And most often the most difficult one

has to take time

and be ready to give a public opinion.

For example,

a language expert

who has been studying the subject

for several years,

I didn't find Switzerland.

But a psychologist

who was confused with Switzerland

I only found it in Germany.

So,

if ever possible

from Switzerland

and sometimes

we have to call Switzerland.

Just

once,

Switzerland.

For me,

the small race

in the world of the old days

was a real open-minded person.

Or rather,

an open-minded person.

For me,

Switzerland lost

this negative touch.

Of course,

Switzerland can also

be used as a power instrument.

Switzerland can also be brutal.

But,

as we have heard,

Switzerland

is not always just bad.

Sometimes

Switzerland is

the best answer.

I'm impressed

how conscious Anna

or Matthias

are in Switzerland

and we take

the opportunity

to take a look

at my territory.

That was

the week of input,

feedback

or theme ideas.

Feel free to

send an input

at srf3.ch

or me

directly on Instagram

with the name

Matthias von Marburg.

So,

let's go!

Thank you.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.