Mamamia Out Loud: No, Your Partner Is Not Invited

Mamamia Podcasts Mamamia Podcasts 6/23/23 - Episode Page - 40m - PDF Transcript

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Mamma Mia Out Loud!

Hello and welcome to Mamma Mia Out Loud,

what women are actually talking about on Friday, 23rd of June.

I'm Mia Friedman, I'm the co-founder of Mamma Mia

and fasten your seatbelts friends because I'm driving the show today

and what could possibly go wrong?

I'm Elfie Scott, I'm executive editor of Mamma Mia and I am worried.

That makes two of us, I am Claire Murphy

and I am the host of Mamma Mia's daily news podcast, The Quickie.

On the show today, the story that captured the world's attention this week

has come to a sudden and tragic end.

What actually happened to the five people on the Titan submarine

and why have some of the reactions on social media been so shocking?

The girls weekend away takes a weird turn

and it's causing havoc in one friendship group

and what were your best and worst bits of the week?

Ours include some exciting news from me, a winter nightmare

and a health journey update.

But first...

In case you missed it,

much loved chips, twisties which in my opinion are a far superior

and wholly underrated chip, I don't know what everybody else thinks,

they have been getting a bit of attention recently

for releasing some very confusing flavours.

So twisties which have traditionally come in both cheese

and the highly divisive chicken flavour

have started rolling out sweet flavours.

They recently released a raspberry flavour twisty earlier this year

which was apparently very successful

and now they have announced the launch of a cinnamon donut flavour

which will be in stores in August.

Oh my goodness.

And the packets pink I saw.

It's cute.

It's good.

I'm not dealing with this news.

I'm feeling very unsettled.

It used to be chips were chips, ice creams were ice creams.

Now, a breakfast cereal is also an ice cream

and an ice cream might be a biscuit

and now a chip is a donut.

And I don't know who I am anymore when it comes to snack food.

Mia is being unseated from reality by twisties flavours.

The thing is though, Mia,

as unsettling as some of these can be

and let's not forget the abomination that was Vegemite Cadbury chocolate.

There is also some beauties, gems in the rough

where it comes to these crossovers.

If you have not tried golden gay time popcorn,

then you, my love, have not lived yet.

It is divine.

Can you give us like an explainer

of how the golden gay time can actually adapt to popcorn form?

So, you know those lovely crunchy little biscuit bits

on the outside of a gay time.

Think of a piece of popcorn dipped in chocolate

rolled around in those lovely little crispy bits.

Like it's just...

I get that, but I don't understand.

To me, the cinnamon donut twistie

or even the raspberry twistie is like the Vegemite chocolate.

Like they're too far apart on the taste spectrum.

Yeah, but sometimes those clashes are what makes it good.

And it's weird, I know.

Like raspberry twisties should not work, right?

It makes no sense.

And I disagree that chicken are divisive.

They are far superior to cheese twisties.

But...

Okay, well that means it is divisive

because I will literally fight you over this.

It's on, lady.

But raspberry twisties should not work, right?

In your brain, it says raspberry flavour

and twisty flavour is wrong.

But then when you eat one, it's like surprisingly good.

In a very weird...

Your taste buds are not used to this kind of way.

And sometimes you do need to like take a risk

in like Heston, Blumenthal, that stuff

so that you can like come up with something new.

Otherwise, we will be eating nothing but cheese

and chicken twisties into eternity.

Yeah, I think that's fair enough.

This morning, an ROV, a remote operated vehicle

from the vessel Horizon Arctic,

discovered the tail comb of the Titan submersible

approximately 1600 feet from the bow of the Titanic.

There has been an absolute crazy story

that has absolutely dominated the headlines this weekend.

I know that you guys did talk about this on Wednesday.

And it's been very quickly kind of progressing this story.

And we did have a very tragic update this morning.

For those not across it and who didn't hear on Wednesday,

a tiny submarine that takes people down to the wreck of the Titanic

went missing nearly two hours into the journey.

Then there was a massive scale search

for this above sea level, below sea level,

using sonars and military planes and all kinds of things.

There was an update yesterday that there was noises

that had been picked up by sonar.

And we presumed that that was the people sending a signal

in some way, shape or form, but they couldn't confirm that.

Yes or no.

And then today, we hear that one of the underwater exploring vehicles,

this is an unmanned explorer,

because there's not too many manned submarines

that can go to that depth,

has managed to make it down to the Titanic wreck

and across the seabed,

they have found what they're calling a debris field.

Now, what that means is there are parts of that submarine

that are spread out across the ocean floor,

in particular the landing facility.

So it's like a couple of rails that it kind of sits on

and the back cover, which is that pointy part.

If you've seen pictures of it on the back of the submarine,

those two in particular that they have mentioned have been seen.

And so that means that the people on board are no longer with us.

And the Coast Guard has said that they have sadly not survived,

that there was a massive catastrophic change in pressure

inside the capsule and that would have led to an implosion.

And for a lot of us, it's a bit of a strange feeling

because we were so invested in trying to find these people

and rescue them and knowing how difficult this was going to be

and wouldn't they and there was updates on how much oxygen they had left

and we were really quite stressed to know

whether these people were going to make it or not.

And then when we hear that they haven't made it

and probably this happened not long after they descended,

there's a weird sort of relief that comes along with it

that they didn't suffer and just wait for oxygen to run out

because for most of us this is our worst nightmare

to be trapped somewhere dark and cold and confined

slowly knowing that your life is going to end.

So it's a very strange end to this story

but I think what's happened here is it's exposed

how we feel about rich privileged people's pastimes

when they go wrong and how we feel about that

because a lot of the social media that has been coming out

on the back of this news story has included a lot of memes

a lot of nasty tweets, a lot of things that have pointed out

that these people may have deserved what they got

because they spent all that money doing a frivolous thing.

I've been so shocked by that.

So these TikToks started to come out in the last couple of days

before it was announced that there were no survivors

and that the wreckage had been found.

Not everyone was explicit as they deserved it

but using the word privilege and who cares

and I think because at that time I had in my head

this horrific image of these five men

one of whom was only 19 years old

and who was reportedly terrified to go on this trip

but wanted to do it for his father

and did it as like a present to his father

that he agreed to go on it

and his aunt has been talking to reporters

and saying he was so scared he didn't want to do it.

It's terrible.

And I've just been imagining them sitting there

but people were making TikToks of why don't they have any shoes

and imagine they've got nowhere to go to the toilet

and it's like these are humans

the fact that they happen to be very wealthy

and that they spent a quarter of a million dollars on their tickets

and yes, you could have done so many other things

it doesn't remove their humanity.

Yeah, totally.

And I think this is such a potent reminder

of how dehumanizing the internet can be

and how much that dialogue can kind of rob us of our empathy

for other people.

I don't excuse it.

I understand why people want to in 2023

when everybody's suffering through a cost of living crisis

and people are spending $250,000 ahead to go on a submarine

to go and look at the Titanic.

I don't excuse that behavior.

I just think there's a tendency for people

to want to lean into that Chardon Freud sort of feeling.

That idea of being a billionaire

you can still have a catastrophe happen to you.

Yes, exactly.

Like those people aren't invulnerable.

All of this dialogue making jokes about people who are dying

when families are being torn apart

like people would have been left to suffer that kind of grief

like for the father and the son who died

like that would be a hugely impactful tragic event for that family

and I just don't think it's okay for us to be making jokes about it.

I guess I just wonder if this is the time

that we try and remind ourselves that like

even though there might be these massive class divides

like we're still people at the end of the day

and we just have to try and hold on to that feeling

because it makes us worse to lean into that as well.

Some of it also too comes from the fact that

pretty much at the same time

there was that awful boat capsize off the coast of Greece

where hundreds of people, refugees seeking asylum died

the majority of them from what I understand were women and children

there were no survivors amongst the women and children

because they were below deck at the time

and so a lot of them are still missing

and there's this correlation between how much coverage and effort

and money is spent on recovering five people

who are very wealthy from the bottom of the ocean

who chose to go there as opposed to these people

who are desperately fleeing terrible things in their home country

to try and find a new life

and the lack of coverage and the lack of money

that is spent on recovering those people

and I feel like, yes, laughing at somebody's family member

who is either dying or is now dead is tasteless

but at the same time it's not an even society

we have to understand that those people who have all that money

also get all the resources

and so there is a real feeling of anger towards those people

and sometimes that anger comes out as

well you deserved it because you put yourself in that position.

We did a fantastic quickie episode on this earlier in the week

you might not know the answer to this

but who paid for all the search and rescue

is that something that just governments do

or was it private?

Combination of both but the majority of it was

in the beginning especially was government

because it was both the Canadian and the US Coast Guards

and the French government also started when they found out

that one of their nationals was on board

the French government also pitched in some technology

but eventually when we're starting to see

unmanned vessels that are going down

a lot of those are privately owned

and that's where a lot of the discussion was happening

because unless you regularly send these to the bottom of the ocean

if you're keeping them in storage you can't just pull it out of storage

and chuck it to the bottom of the ocean

like they're structurally have to be incredibly sound to do so

and a lot of them are in private ownership

like James Cameron who made the Titanic

has these vessels himself

so could have sent them down there

but you can't just pull it out of storage and chuck it in the ocean

so it is a combination of government slash private enterprise

Oh you mean to help with the rescue

because one of the criticisms was that

because it was privately owned

it didn't have to pass these standards

Oh so the capsule itself

yeah no it was passed but not by the authorities

that it needed to be passed by

so the capsule itself was created by NASA

and the surrounding parts of it

are a little bit sort of DIY

so the ballast for anyone who doesn't know what ballast is

is when you move weight from one side to the other

in order to go up or go down or go side to side

it's like just a couple of pipes

that roll on and roll off

it is a little bit DIY and of course there's a lot of

you know mention of the fact that it's controlled by

like an Xbox One controller or something

it just makes me feel like slightly less sympathy

for the owner of the vessel who actually

ended up passing away down that like I feel like

I think he was the CEO of the company

yeah he was the CEO

there's documents to say that he was warned about the safety issues

yeah 100% and people have to sign these massive documents

before they get on board that explain all of this

that it has not been stringently tested to certain standards

and that this might happen which will end your life

so people are well aware of it but also too

there's a part of me that understands when people are exploring

and we don't do as much of that now because we've

you know covered the majority of the planet

talking about people who are going to space

to the bottoms of the ocean now which we're still exploring

they've always been a bit DIY at times

because they've had to adapt and change and create

as they're going into unknown territory

so I kind of get that these adventurers

and these explorers they do this

in a way that it isn't already established

so you have to do it from scratch somehow right

so I get that but at the same time

especially when you talk about that 19 year old kid

who was scared and didn't want to go

I just keep thinking about that kid's mother

exactly and for that parent to take their son

in that situation that feels like

lots of levels of ick to that

it also reminds me of the Challenger

Space Shuttle Disaster

that had a lot of stringent taste that was NASA

and it went up into space and everyone was watching it

and children in classrooms all over the world were watching it

and then it just blew up and there was a teacher

Kristin McCullough I still remember her name

you know there were a couple of sort of civilians

who were there with the astronauts

and it's what you say about how

when we explore these new frontiers

it's really dangerous and money can't protect you from that

and fame can't protect you from that

I agree with what you said about there's some small relief

in knowing that it was instant and painless

I've been diving deep into all of those details today

and Navy experts and underwater marine specialists

have been saying it literally is milliseconds

so they would not have been aware of what happened

it would have been just absolutely instantaneous

bodies can't be recovered because there's essentially nothing to recover

and they also think that it did happen

at that point where they lost contact

an hour and 45 minutes into the dive

when they'd reached the bottom

and they think that that's when it happened

There is a part of me that thinks about exploration

in those really risky scenarios

there is a kind of needless ego exercise

to be honest and as much as I appreciate

that some people will push themselves

to try and do something that humanity has never done before

I find it very upsetting to think about

the selfishness of leaving behind families

and you know people who are grieving

and putting all of these resources into trying to rescue them

That argument is often made about people who climb mountains

and usually it's if a female climber who's a mother

dies while she's climbing Everest or something

people will be like it's so selfish

how could you do that, why would you

you know the human spirit is interesting

and what people want to do

and what risks we take

and how we weigh up

whether or not those risks are worth it

And in a lot of these cases like this one in particular

there wasn't just a bunch of billionaires in a capsule

who wanted to look at the wreck of the Titanic

it was scientific purposes

they were doing research at the time

they are following the decay of the ship

and it's the fact that it is actually breaking down

and in the not too distant future

it's no longer going to look like the Titanic

next time someone goes down there

the railings might have fallen off

and it might look nothing like it did

so for a lot of these things

and going into space, going to the bottom of the ocean

I mean if anything in the last few years has taught us

is that science is imperative for our future existence

so you can say what you want

about the egos of people who do this stuff

and nine times out of ten they are very large

but sometimes it benefits humanity

so much more than we ever realised down the track

Hi, it's me

Am I the problem isn't me

Hey, it's me

Am I the problem isn't me

An anonymous out loud has written in asking

is she the problem in this particular situation

out loud as if you have one of those times

where you just go am I the problem here

I think that all the time about myself

and what you want everyone to say is

oh no they are being a dick you are not the problem

The out louder writes

I know the dog will be neglected

and there will be unlimited screen time

without an adult present to supervise

I want to explain this to my friends

but I don't want it to sound like it's an ultimatum

either no husbands or I don't go

which is not what I am trying to do

Am I being unreasonable

wanting just a girls weekend

and how do I say what I want to say

without sounding like I hate my partner

I mean this person is cool enough

I think that it totally changes the tone of a weekend

I think that going away with your girlfriends

in a way there's just like a different experience

I think getting the husbands involved

she's right it's like a lot of logistical issues

here although I do question

why kids having unlimited screen time

for a weekend is a massive deal

like that's fine they can deal

I understand and I've been in this situation

where the group is excited about something

that you are not totally excited about

and you are unwilling to say it

so for example

my best friend was talking about

getting married a very long way away

in a complete

like a country on the other side of the globe

and I was the only one on the group chat

who was like this is going to be very expensive

and it did end up getting cancelled

but you do feel like such a dick

for bringing the vibe down

because like theoretically it would have been fun

but do I want to spend like that much money

to go away

to a wedding so far away

anyway point being

I don't think that you are being unreasonable

but I do not know how you broach it with the group

if they are excited about it

She is not the problem

100% and

just in response to that Elfie

if your girlfriends are as good as what you think

and say they are

they will absolutely understand when you say to them

are we sure we want our husbands to come along

like because I've got a

really tight-knit group of girlfriends

and every time I'm in the same places

then we have girls dinner

and every now and then one of our friends will always go

do we want to have the boys come too

like 9 times out of 10

we say no because

yeah absolutely right it changes the conversation

it changes how intimate we can be

with each other because the boys feel uncomfortable

if we are talking about periods

and vaginas and prolapsed

uteruses and bladder leakage

like they just can't handle that conversation

around the dinner table so it changes the tone

of the conversation it also changes

I think how honest we are with each other

when our husbands are there

because I feel like we can actually

say to them I'm having a lot of problems

in my marriage

my husband is doing this and I'm really struggling

so all of that changes

and so I totally get where she's coming from

and

you're right doubling everything sucks

I don't want to pay the extra

when I can have a fun night out and have that fun

night out kind of changed into a different thing

if you want to involve husbands

in something else by all means

have it be so it's not

in something that you cherish

and look forward to is that really special

amazing time with your girlfriends

and let's be honest we don't get a lot of time

to do that as it is

so I think that time is really special

and precious and it should be protected

this once came up with a group of my friends

when we were discussing going away

and whether we would just be the girls

or whether we would bring partners and even maybe

children and make it like families

some of us had kids I said the rule is

no one who has gone into or come out of our

vagina is allowed to attend

that is a good rule

it really kept things quite

you know straightforward

what's interesting with these situations though

is when

someone in your group has a same-sex

partner because that

then becomes even more complicated

I know that this has happened

before with my husband's group of friends

and one of his friends

has male partner and they were

doing a boys night or whatever and he would

this is quite a few years ago he would

bring his boyfriend

it just wasn't

okay like they had to say to him

at a certain point hey this isn't actually

about gender this is about friendship

so it's about the fact that

we've all known each other for all this time

it's not just about the fact that there's

a no-chicks rule it's a no-partners

rule they had to

qualify that

did anyone ask his boyfriend if he wants to go to that

or wants to go to the girls night

well that's the other thing I find interesting

there are a lot of people who are so

unable or unwilling

or uninterested in

having time away

from their significant other if they're in a relationship

I don't know is it about

codependency is it about insecurity

my best and worst is going to be bad for this

yeah my mum and dad are terrible

like they very rarely go anywhere

without each other like even when I say to

my mum hey do you want to come somewhere with me

by herself she will at some stage

ring my dad and invite him to wherever

you are and it's like

I love my dad don't get me wrong

but like sometimes you want to spend time with them

separately but they are so

codependent it's like

they can't get through a day

without being in each other's

presence all the time I don't

understand it I mean maybe that's healthy

I don't know who am I to judge

were they always like that or it's been as they get

older because often it can happen as

they get older they've always

been like this it's quite nice

but that time that you get

with your friends you never feel

as free and as fully yourself

like I mean I feel very holy

myself around my partner but there are some things that you can't

say to your partner sometimes you know

how's she gonna say it just if they're good enough

friends you go hey guys but then if

everyone over rules you and you end up

away with all the partners you don't want

someone referencing the fact that

you were petitioning not to bring your partner

along no I want my husband to know

like if this was the case and I said to him look

they want to know if husbands want to go

I'd rather go with all my girlfriends I know you'd rather

go fishing with all the boys you don't really want

me taking along to that too yeah

so like I'd let him know and go if everyone's invited

I'm gonna say this is where we've come to

if you want to come come along if you don't

don't. Out louders tell us what you think

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okay it is Friday and that

means it is time to wrap up the week with

our best and worst

we would like to end things on a high

so Claire can you please kick it off

first with your worst of the week

okay this is for all my primary

school aged kid parents

because when winter arrives

and the temperatures plummet your kid

is wearing a school jumper this is if

they have a uniform a school jumper and or

school jacket to school and you will now

spend the next three months tracing

that stupid thing

because your child takes it off and throws it on the ground

or takes it off and another kid puts it

in their bag or takes it off and they

tie it around to something in the playground

and you never see it again and I don't

know about you but my kid's winter

jumper is like $80

that is a stupid

amount of money for a tiny person's jumper

and so I have just

had a sit down conversation with my daughter who's

just lost her sports jacket again

this is the second time this winter

we're having serious discussions and I'm like

can you please just tie it around

your waist when you take it off

that's all you gotta do but no it's gone

and now I have to go to school I've checked the lost and found

box it's not there I've got no idea where it is

so I'm gonna have to shell out another $80

for a new jacket

if and when we don't find the other one

I have a question do you have a

class whatsapp group

no okay so a lot of schools

do have this some have it for the whole year

others just have it for the class

and the bane

of those groups is

kids losing things

I've had this been my bonnet about this for so

many years I'm like I want to issue

a rule that you do not

use the group for the purposes

of tracking down lost property because

it is misuse of the group I do believe

the Facebook groups are like it too

the school Facebook group you can sort of dip in and out

when it's on your phone and you've got like

seven new whatsapp notifications

and they're all

about Johnny's jumper

or his lunchbox

it's not great

except two weeks ago

I became one of those people

what did they lose

my son took home the wrong

blazer it's so expensive

and the blazer that he took home had a rip in it

and I was like

he's got the wrong blazer

and then I was ashamed

I've got a lot of shame about it

so yes that is my worst

is I'll be spending the next few months the colder weather

hunting down my child's lost

articles of clothing

but my best

I've spoken about this on this show before

I've had a lot of health issues of late

have a joint which is terrible

my knee has been busted for a long time

and I was walking every GP I'd gone to

had just basically told me

to lose weight and walked away

and it was never helpful

and then I went to a GP who said to me

has anyone ever offered you help to lose weight

and I said

well no they've just told me

to lose weight and he goes okay

well I can help you

I really cried in the GP right

but what it took

was a goal that wasn't weight loss

because weight loss should never be the goal right

it should just be about

what your level of best health is yeah

so and I'm sorry if I'm going a bit Gwyneth

when weight losing weight

is the own goal

it feels unobtainable

considering all the different factors that come into play

right so

we found a goal and my GP said to me

if we can start getting healthy

then we'll start investigating your dodgy knee

and see how bad it's gotten

and see what we can do for you

but what was the goal what does it mean

like getting healthy like what was the actual goal

so the goal is

that I want my knee to be fixed

and for many years I've been told the thing

that will fix it is losing weight

right so I've been told this over and over again

that the less weight that's been putting pressure

on that knee joint the healthier you will be

and the better it will feel

and so I started on this journey

I've lost some weight and then I

realised it was doing nothing

to help the health of my knee

my GP said right let's get investigating

I've gone and had like a butt loader test

sex raise and MRIs and all kinds of things

and then he sent me off to a surgeon

and for the first time a surgeon said to me

this is one of the worst knees I've ever seen

you need a knee replacement

pretty much immediately

and I was like schedule that shit in

my friend

give me titanium knees and I will be

so in the next couple of months I'm preparing myself

for surgery I've got to be as healthy as I can be

and maybe lose a bit more weight

so that it's easier on my recovery

but I'm getting a titanium knee guys

I'm so excited

there is nothing better

than having health professionals finally

listen to you it is the most

frustrating thing in the world and especially

as a woman often like

female sexual health will be so

sidelined and you can never get

a straight answer so finding somebody who actually

looks at you holistically

and decides what your goals are

I'm so happy for you that must be so

relieving I can't wait for when you get

to use that knee against somebody you know

as a weapon

Elvie what's your worst of the week

okay my worst of the week is

appropriate for something that you said earlier actually

but I had to go away to

Melbourne for a couple of nights

my partner was heading to Canberra for a night

we do not spend a huge amount of time

away from each other

I think like Claire's parents

exactly mom

yes it is

yes my daughter

but I think it's largely because like our relationship

was forged in lockdown right

so like we have not

spent a lot of time with each other outside

did you get together during lockdown

we got together about five months

before Covid happened

and literally we moved in together

a week before the lockdowns happened

quotation marks as a trial

three years later

yes

and then we were stuck

and it's really good like we obviously got along

incredibly well but

I just hit this point where I was so anxious

about us spending

three nights away from each other

and I know that I have to get over this feeling

and what were you worried about

I don't know it's just like separation

anxiety it's so bizarre had I been

with my friends it would have been fine

but I just knew that I was going to spend

a couple of nights alone in a hotel room

and then a night alone in my apartment

sounds terrible doesn't it Claire

sounds like the worst thing that could possibly

happen to any woman

I don't like spending time alone

you need to go see my vet

my vets really helped my dog with separation anxiety

I feel like a Covid dog

I was telling my boyfriend

I feel like one of those dogs that like

scratches up the door when their owner goes to work

it's so pathetic

have you gone through periods of being single

or do you think it's just this person

that you can't be away from

it's literally just this person

I was fine being by myself

and then I spent two years in lockdown

with my partner watching movies

and now I can't leave the house

best of the week was actually down in Melbourne

so I went down there for

a writers festival

emerging writers festival it was really lovely

and I had a couple of things to go to

but one of them which I was incredibly anxious about

was running a writers workshop

you had to run it

I had to run it

workshops are harder than giving talks

what do you have to do as a workshop runner

well I had to put together a little

powerpoint which I was very proud of

actually I looked adorable and then you have to

write up a whole script of things that you go through

and questions that you ask

also what teachers do every day

five times over

I was learning how to be a teacher

starting from no knowledge whatsoever

what was the topic of the workshop

it was writing family

because you've written a memoir

about schizophrenia but your mother's

experience with schizophrenia

exactly so I was

teaching them how to sort of like write family

and like the logistics of interviewing

the people that you're closest to

it came like there were a lot of interesting things to talk about

yeah it was quite nice

but the good thing about it

I mean for a start it went really well

everybody was very lovely

and I sort of got this feeling

and I was

you know when you just allow yourself to be a little bit proud

of things sometimes

and usually I am so mean about myself

but this time I was like

you know what I've reached a point in my career

where I feel justified

and happy passing on knowledge

that other people may not have

and I just kind of accepted that

and I was like I enjoyed being a teacher

for a little while

I enjoyed the feeling of

getting on knowledge that I have garnered through

what has been a lot of experience

and I sort of just let myself feel that

which brings me to my worst

funnily enough when I was away

I was listening to the show

in a car driving somewhere

and I can't remember what

the topic was

but one Elfie Scott announced

that she hated work

I hate work

she said hate it

don't think about it

do you want to go home

do you know we got an email about that this week

it was for me probably

and first of all

I was just like great

but secondly I was like

that's just not true

you are ambitious

you love your work

listen to me convincing myself

you love work Elfie

you're selling yourself short

I mean listen to you

you like to do a new workshop

I will give this qualifier to both you

and the person who sent me a very

angry email this week

they were angry because I kept

whining about my job

but okay I do love my job

I do see yourself in the privileged spot of being employed

there are the people who don't have jobs

the people who have hard labor jobs

I love my job

I'm very passionate about what I do

do I love the concept of work as a whole

no I do not

I think that's fair

I've got this

and I was like I think we should do a subs episode

about this you and I talking about work

because I feel like that's the cool thing at the moment

is to just be like I'm going to quite quit

I don't like work

work is boring

I want to do the bare minimum

that's sort of the zeitgeist

anti hustle culture

and I've spoken about this before

I feel very out of step with the zeitgeist

because I love work

I find holidays really challenging

I get anxious about going on holidays

yeah but you just admitted that you were away somewhere

and listening to the show

like when I go away somewhere

I turn off all the things

no one's slacking me, no one's emailing me

I'm not listening to a damn thing

I am away

no but I wasn't listening to be critical

I was listening for pleasure

like to me it's a joy to listen to a show that I'm not on

and to just enjoy the show

and listening to smart women talk

about what's going on in the world

and to me is a holiday

like I loved that

but also I just love work

so anyway we'll talk about that more in the future

I'm sure but I do feel very out of step

with this whole thing it's cool not to like work

but I don't think we've ever liked work

I don't think anyone has ever liked work

I've always really liked work Claire

sorry Mia, you have loved work

and I respect that but I could not tell you

even my friends who own their own businesses

they love their business

and they love what they do

work means getting up to an alarm

or getting up at a certain time of day

and for some people it means commuting

for some people it means doing repetitive things all day every day

it also means you know packing a lunch

getting your kids off to school

work means more than just what you do

when you're sitting at your desk

or at your station or whatever it is you do for a living

work as a concept is like

it's a whole lifestyle

and you have to incorporate that into your life

sounds like work needs a rebrand

I'm the one to do it

my best is

coming to work

my bloody holiday's over

that's my best

no I had a great time

I had a really good time on this holiday

except for about two days before I come back

when is always the time when I'm just like

I want to be home

but no my best I saw

the first two episodes of Strife

the TV show yesterday

we're in edit so we finished shooting

about six weeks ago

now in the edit phase which is a huge

time when it all comes together

when I say we I'm literally doing not one thing

but my producing partners

Verena and Jodie and Steve said come

and we want to show you the first two episodes

so I said

I want to bring Claire and Jesse because

they're also producers on the show and they

were writers as well and

Claire wasn't able to come but Jesse came

Jesse and I sat there

with Verena and Jodie

and the head writer Sarah

and I watched the first two episodes

of this show that we've been

talking about for so many years

and that I've been working on with

Jesse and Claire

for such a long time

and it was funny I spoke to Asha

Kettie who's the lead actress

in the show

I called her afterwards she lives in Melbourne

and I'm in Sydney and

she said oh I was feeling sick that you're watching it today

and everyone apparently was really nervous

that I was watching it like as if

that's what I think but

I just bloody loved it

I can't wait for you guys to see it

I'm just so happy and Jesse and I were saying

how the tone

is just exactly like it's

beyond my wildest dreams of

what I imagined that it could possibly be

oh my god that's so incredible

oh I've got to wrap the show up now because

that's my job usually

at the end I'm just like I relax and Holly

lands the plane

having the ship today

we haven't crashed into anything

I felt very anxious and I didn't really

but I did prepare which is unlike me

before we go

I do have a recommendation for you today

strap on and strap in because

the whole world knows

and just like that season 2

has dropped it drops its first two episodes

la la la la la la la

I'm not going to tell me anything

don't worry there will be no spoilers

but I do have lots of thoughts and so does Elphi

so what we're going to be doing

we know that Out Loud is

more interested than the general population

in and just like that which is of course

the new version of Sex and the City

we are going to be recording

recaps every week we've recorded

our first episode that should be in your feed

now it's four subscribers

we'll put a link in the show notes

if you're not already among me a subscriber

this is the perfect time if you've been on the fence

get the splinters out of your bum bum

and just commit because it doesn't cost much

and my goodness gracious me

we've got a lot of exciting thoughts

here's a little taste of us

unpacking the brand new season

grab your strap on

pop it in your pigeon purse

remind yourself who Tony Danza is

and decide who you're taking to the met ball

because and just like that is back baby

and the sex is very much

back in the city

none of the women have jobs

that sparks the second question

which is where the fuck is all this money coming from

Sex and the City has always removed itself

from financial reality

you've got to remember that Carrie lived in a new apartment

and bought Chanel off one column a week

for ten years

welcome to Mum and Mia Out Loud's first recap episode

of and just like that

also known as a podcast about rich people

problems

if you want to come on the journey with us please do

make sure you subscribe to Mum and Mia Out Loud

you can listen right now

we will put a link in the show notes

thank you for listening to Australia's

produce and pop culture show

this episode was produced by Emmeline

Gazillus and Susanna Macon

the executive producer is Eliza Ratliff

with Audio Production

by Leah Porges

thank you Claire, thank you Alfie for

you know, bearing with me

thank you, it was lovely to come to work today with you

Mia, I appreciate it

stop twisting the knife

I thought it wasn't too hard

hope you didn't suffer too much

shout out to any

if you love the show

and want to support us as well

subscribing to Mum and Mia is the very best way to do so

there is a link in the episode description

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

Listen to our review of And Just Like That…

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Can you invite your partners to a girls' trip weekend away? We discuss why this is causing havoc in one friendship group.  

Plus, it's the news story that has dominated the airwaves, filled our newsfeeds, and captured our algorithms. So, what do the reactions to the Titan Submarine tragedy say about society? 

And, Elfy, Claire and Mia share their best and worsts of the week, including winter jumpers, health journeys, and work.

The End Bits

Listen to our latest episode: The Parenting Style That's Broken A Generation

RECOMMENDATION: 

Mia wants you to listen to our recap And Just Like That…Carrie Won’t Talk About Her Vagina

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CREDITS:

Hosts: Mia Freedman, Elfy Scott & Claire Murphy

Producers: Emeline Gazilas & Susannah Makin

Audio Producer: Leah Porges

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