Between Two Beers Podcast: Mea Motu: Fighting back from darkness

On this episode of Between Two Beers we talk to Mia Motu.

Mia is a boxer with a 15 and 0 professional record and has accumulated New Zealand titles

in lightweight, super lightweight, featherweight and super featherweight.

New Zealand boxing is now ready to take on the world.

In this episode we talk about being the first woman to headline a fight for life fight night,

juggling her 5 kids with her training, the power of peach boxing and why an 8 year old does most

of her pad work and where her drive and determination comes from. But her path to the top was anything

but smooth. This episode also deals with themes of domestic violence. Mia shared some of the harrowing

detail of how she literally fought for her life through an abusive relationship. The story of

what she's been through, how she found the courage and strength to fight through it,

and coming out the other side on the brink of a world title is incredibly powerful.

It was a challenging and necessary conversation with the aim to empower anyone stuck in a similar

situation. The emotion of her journey overwhelmed me at the end of this one. Mia is such a bubbly,

fun, special human and her message is just so strong. Thank you for coming on with us and

being so vulnerable. Listen on iHeart or wherever you get your podcast from or watch the video on

YouTube. A huge thanks to those supporting the show on Patreon for the cost of a cup of coffee a

month to get involved, head to www.between2bears.com and while you're there sign up to our new weekly

newsletter which has behind the scenes recaps of each episode. This episode was brought to you

from the Export Bear Garden Studio. Enjoy. Mia Motu. Welcome to Between Two Bears.

Thank you for having me. We're very excited to have you. Exciting time in your life. We're

recording this two weeks out from your world title fight against Tanya Walters which is the

headline fight for fight for life which is the first time a female fight has ever headlined it.

Right that's so exciting. How is the build up to this different to previous fights?

It just feels the same really but now this is a lot bigger, a bigger platform and it's starting

to get real now because before I was just like oh yeah I'm just Mia but now it's like well now I'm

able to share my story, my journey and share my gym as well and how my gym saved my life.

It's awesome right because it's not just you on this journey you're bringing other people along

with you right? 100% yeah and we're gonna hear we're gonna hear about a few of those kind of

characters along the way today so I'm like Stephen super excited to see where this is gonna go.

You had the most active 2021. Has the build up to this fight been equally as active with all the

media obligations and all the things that you've got to do? Kind of similar but this time a lot more

media and finally expressing who I am and I'm starting to realize how like how much my gym has

played a part in my journey in my life and how happy I am now to this day so yeah it's it's

finally it's healing that's the biggest because for years I've been I haven't been healed I've

been still lived in a hole and still living in regrets but now I've finally let it go

like I'm at peace with myself and I'm proud of who I am I could never say that before.

That's amazing that's an amazing amazing powerful start straight away.

Yeah it is cool and I'm looking forward to getting into into the journey a little bit later.

So we've asked a few sources about Mia you know in order to sort of prep for the episode and one

of them said that you've got this kind of image of mean Mia but that's not really you and it was

suggested that your mum really doesn't like that image is that accurate? Yes that's true my mum

doesn't like me being mean because I'm actually really quite bubbly and full of life and I love

children like I'm a kid myself so I love being around children they keep me at peace and they

just give me children give like the authentic rawness of happiness and like I can't really

get it from adults but I can get it from children and they give you that real happiness and love

so it's so enjoyable to be around and that's what I love doing is just being around kids because

they they tell you the truth they don't feel to anything. You can't bullshit kids. No you can't.

Well Stephen's dad of three seemed to be a dad of four so he knows exactly what you're talking

about. Yeah you definitely can't bullshit your kid Steve. So we do things a little bit differently

at Between Two Bears and we've got like I said so many different interesting parts of your

journey you want to talk about but we actually want to start by talking about lawn bowls and we

want to start by talking about your oldest son David who I've heard described as a prodigy in

lawn bowls and he's only 15 so interested in like how did he get into that and how is he so good?

He got into well he was actually into darts first and that was because of my aunties.

My aunties have basically helped raise me and I've got a big family but they have helped raise my

son at a baby when he was just born because he was born very early with a hole in his heart

so my I needed the support because he was on a heart monitor and then my aunties just helped

raise them and then they were taking him along to like their darts games and bowls and so my auntie

Aggie just dragged him everywhere and he got into bowls and he really liked it and he enjoys it and

now he loves he's like an old soul my son very old soul and he loves it. I'm like oh look at him I'm

like why would you choose this sport? Like can you do anything cool at your age instead of being

old Fuddy Dutty? I worked in bowls before and they were definitely trying to change the

change the the perception of the sport have you have you had a roll-up with them have you

been out on the greens? Yeah I've been out and I thought because I thought it was easy and I was

like come on son let's go because you're old Fuddy Dutty like I act more younger than my son and

then yeah that was a fail straight fail that was terrible just it went straight off the floor

I was like oh no never mind I recommend it for anyone that's not particularly sporty no disrespect

to your son intended but for people that want to just pick up a sport and do it you can pick up a

pick up a bowl roll it from one end to the other get the bias right so it doesn't roll off the end

like you were talking about and you're good to go so yeah we've got a friend who all he talks about

is lawn bowls he's just recently got into it but he's one of the best in New Zealand and when we

given him too much credit yeah when we told him you were coming on the pod he's like yeah I bowl

against her son he's only 15 and he's beat me twice and he's all he hypes about has how good

he's at bowls he must be really really good but they've got them weird like under 26 age group

right is that who he's representing he's representing you he's the youngest yeah he's

ripping New Zealand today but he's the youngest in the team so I was like oh when we found out he

made the team I was like I jumped up and I started crying and I was like oh my gosh son I'm so proud

of you and he was shocked because he was like mom do you know how long it takes it takes seven

years to get on this team I can't believe it so he did it less than that that that's actually wild

yeah it is crazy without putting too much pressure on your other kids have you got any other sporting

gems coming through that might end up representing New Zealand as well maybe my my kids are like they

are sporty but my daughter's like hard out into a kapa haka awesome so Maldi's their first language

then English amazing yeah so where's Teal Maori being in your journey how how's that played out in

your journey was it a big influence when you were growing up no it wasn't a lot of my family were anti

like they just because there's no work back then there was like no work for Maldi's like why are

you learning Teal Maori yeah it wasn't encouraged it wasn't encouraged at all and like when I put

my kids in Teal Maori my family were like oh they're gonna be like they're gonna be behind in English

and no one's gonna want to hire them when they get older and then I was like no they need to learn

it because a lot of our family members they lost the touch of going to a marae and then I didn't

want to have a child that couldn't go to a marae because I was one of them like I would go to a

marae and I'll be like okay I have no idea what they're saying what are they saying and I'll just

get up and leave and get frustrated because I don't understand and I didn't want that for my

children so I made sure that they could speak Maldi even though I can't but now I'm so proud

because it's played a big part of my life and my kids say to me mom thank thank you so much for

putting us into Teal Maori because they love it they can identify who they are amazing I feel like

there is a generation of New Zealanders probably around your age that maybe don't have a stronger

connection to their whakapapa to their marae to where they're from yeah and it is almost come full

circle now whether the generation coming now are really reconnecting and plugging in and probably

helping educate their parents on it as well yes my children are like they're constantly educating

me as well and like see I learned something from my children as well because they identify them as

Maldi and then like on a I was like there was like a news article and it had identified me as Kiwi

and my kids felt offended because they were like mom you're not a Kiwi because everyone in New

Zealand is a Kiwi you are a Maldi because we are Maldis so mom wear your children wear your blood

so identify yourself as a Maldi please and then I was like I didn't realize how bad it affected

them because they felt kind of insulted that's how they felt and then I was like because they said

mom it's like you know you call someone a Chinese and then Korean and I was like yeah and he goes

yeah you don't and that their category as Kiwis because they live here in New Zealand everyone's

category as Kiwis if you live in New Zealand so for my kids they were like how will we mean to

identify you mom and then that's when I was like oh yes and then so I grow I was like okay I'm

being identified myself as a Maldi amazing it's so cool when you're learning and growing with

your kids that's that's so special um so we recently had Arwen Guttenbeel and Dion Nash on the show

who proud Northlanders and they spoke so highly about the influence of the area in their formative

years I was hoping you could tell us about Kaitaia and growing up there and and I've heard it described

as your happy place but what do you remember about those early days the best years definitely

that's growing up as a kid learning how to dive fish walk in bare feet not knowing what shoes were

only stepping my feet and cow shit like that's how I'd warm my feet up and just connecting with

the earth and the ground and the water the air the smell being able to pig hunt horse ride you know

just living like country and living off the grid like no you didn't have no technology and I learned

how to like be rough and play bull rush you know be a kid enjoy being a kid and that's what I loved

Kaitaia was home and my that's where my heart is and my soul is definitely there because

my ancestors are there and if it wasn't for my ancestors I wouldn't be here today because you

know they are the ones that taught us about mana our land you know we're fighting for our land

and keeping it and looking after it like especially for us like back home is like

you just you get home and it feels like magical because you're breathing in fresh air and you

can smell the cow shit and you can smell the pigs you know just animals and you can connect to the

nature and you feel it in your heart and soul and it just feels magical it's like you just close

your eyes and everything feels tranquility you know and you're at peace no worries and it's less

stress I know exactly what you mean so my mom's from the Solomon Islands in the Pacific and when

I go back to the lagoon to the village where she's from it's exactly the same the smells the lagoon

that we see the the it's hard to describe if you haven't been there but it has a special place in

your soul right and you just you just get there and you're like nothing else matters yeah the land

the people that especially the people that that you're with as well yeah because they're all like

you say connected were you super close to your brothers and sisters growing up as well yeah

definitely I was really close to my brothers my sister was she was born late so but I'm really

close to her but she never really got the connection up north where me and my brothers did

my cousins are my best friends oh my gosh they are so horny and I think that's why I'm so

horny because they are ruthless like just so they're always like every time I go back home

they're like don't you bring your Auckland ways up here you take those flash clothes off and put

some gumboots on and I was like okay and get in that water and go get your own koi because I'm

always like moaning like did you have my seafood ready nah go get it yourself was it one in all

in as kids growing up like it didn't matter boy girl everyone's rough and tumble ball rush

doesn't matter who you are yeah you're getting kicked out yeah you're getting kicked out like my

cousin some of them were so big and I was like yeah come on in they'll be like don't you bow down

to nobody come on let's go so it's good they like they made us strong and got to be a kid that's

what I loved like you could be a child and not worry about no technology you're just you're like

you want to who's the first one to get on the horse without the saddle you know and who can ride

it like I'll beat you so it was real competitive I feel like there's only a very specific group of

people that will be able to relate to bareback horse riding yeah those that do it'll really

resonate with them yeah especially if they're the wild horses because like out of 90 miles the

horses are wild and like the stallions oh man you have to watch out for the stallions otherwise

they just chase you and attack you and it's like oh damn it we're run to the nearest rock

it's like avatar come to life when they when they jump on those things that they connect with but

it's it's like genuinely wild up there right yeah it is it's very free it's amazing that you can

understand why northlanders and I'm kind of grouping them in because I know that's the far north

but northlanders are so proud of of the area in the region oh hard out yeah and like if you're not

from up there they're like where are you from you've been not be touching our kai moana

so I guess that's important really while you while you connect back now as well and while

your kids can connect back as well yeah oh a hundred percent bull rush got a few mentions there

bull rush was a big part of my upbringing too do they still play bull like is bull rush still

I feel like it was always banned and then it would sort of come back undercover at school yeah

they still play it up there like yeah all the time at the Marais like all the kids get together

and it's bull rush there's there's something about standing on that line and getting your name

called yeah you can't back down you've got to run and you know you're about to get smashed

you either run away from them or you run straight at them and it was always that that extra kudos

for being the last one to be you know like it's like you're the love I don't know if you guys ever

had this if you were lucky enough to ever have this experience where you're the last one and there's

everyone else facing you like oh I'm just gonna have to go run it run it run it straight was that

in your speedy days bro just I had speed and power back then back growing up in Topal don't

worry about me we used to play it by the tennis court and you'd always if you were in early

you'd kind of isolate someone and then smash them into the netting of the tennis court yeah

yeah it was it was brutal but yeah then it got banned and then you had to move location to another

place the backfields this time it was yeah proper proper Kiwi growing up yeah we'll be right back

after this short break

so so with this awesome northland upbringing kaitaya family moves to Auckland when you're 10

was that tough did you find it difficult leaving all that behind yeah because like Auckland felt

massive and I was like whoa what's all these buildings and I was like where's the beach where's

the sea where's the horses yeah and like because we grew up like going to go get your own Kai you

know living off the land and coming down here you had to go buy your Kai like I was like what

you have to go buy your Kai because like I would just go you would never have to buy a Kai because

like you know McDonald's up north is the seafood which is even better we we had Shane Cameron on

a little while back as well who spoke about growing up in Tiniroto down in Poverty Bay in

Tairawhiti yeah and he was the same like just he grew up would walk to school walk into the the

big bright lights of Gisborne yeah and then like from a young age he jumped on a plane and went to

London and he was like I'd never even been to Auckland and then I jumped on a plane and went

to London so I could imagine as a he was a teenager then but coming down to Auckland at 10 it really

was bright lights in big city yeah it was as massive and I didn't like it because it just felt like

too many people and I was like and different nationalities too because all up there they

were just all Maltese so I didn't know the difference and then I was like oh why do these

people sound different you know because and even coming to Auckland like my family some of my

family sounded different and I was like well because like back up there we took like real like

fresh Maltese like real Hori like hey Ko what's doing come down here it's like hello how's your day

and I'm like what what's this so yeah it took a while to get used to I hated school I struggled

with school because I because everyone had shoes and it was all about clothes and I was like hey I

was like wear my holy t-shirt thinking that was cool and like no shoes and they'll be like

where's your shoes and I'm like I don't need shoes yeah so it was a big change yeah I didn't like

it now were your brothers and sisters in the same boat like did you all not like it together or were

they at different parts of that journey yeah they were different because I was a bit older but

they didn't really like it as well but it took time for them to get used to it and then

they started slotting in and fitting in where me I was just like like I was this angry kid and being

like oh I'll always like I don't know people always wanted to start arguing with me and I'll

just laugh and be like okay it's all good like drama um so when you were 13 you got into boxing for

the first time yeah um so moved there when you're 10 and 13 into boxing did that help that very

initial um interaction with boxing is that did that help settle you in Auckland yeah I did yeah

doing boxing like starting it was like I found it really fun like I felt at place because

they're like the boys were boys and then like because I struggled with girls because they are just

like you know and all they wanted to talk about was girl things and I was the complete opposite I

just like doing like ball rush you know playing like boy sports and everything I hate a netball

that's for sure because I couldn't play it either so yeah I just felt out of place but then like

doing boxing and I loved boxing soccer rugby league doing boxing was kind of like it made me

feel fitted in and like odd spa like some boys and I'd like oh I can beat these and they were

teenagers and I'm like I only a young teenager I'm like yeah I can knock these boys out shame

I'm like oh you're not as hard as my cousins was this official like proper like gym workspowering

or was this just sort of in the playground oh no gym workspowering yeah no I never took it

outside the ring no I was I was nice outside the ring it's a it's a kind of common theme with

with boxing and boxing gyms that they offer a place of kind of like a safe place for for people

to come in was that your experience as a as a 13 year old that once you went into this gym it was

like okay cool I can be who I need to be here and did it instill I guess a sense of of discipline

or anything like that in you at an early age yeah definitely it just it took my anger away

because like I'll always be angry at my parents for taking me away from Auckland I mean from Kaitaia

I mean and bringing me to Auckland so it took the anger away and then I just really enjoyed boxing

and I loved the training because the training was like I'd done like a lot of sports I did

athletics rugby league touch and stuff but boxing was different it like really challenged me and it

it was really hard and also back then when I was boxing I had like Daniela Smith Mal and like all

the top female boxers back then and I was only this kid and I would be like learning from them

so I would always be tested and challenged and I was I loved that that's what I loved about it

being tested and just taken to another level of fitness like man I've tried heaps of sports but

boxing is like the number one thing that just you you you go for your first training you feel

like death and it's just like I don't know what makes you keep coming back for more but I just love

it it's like I don't want to stop can you put like a time frame around where this is because I

I'm a little bit older than you but like when David Tua was was on the world stage is that around

the same time that you're in a boxing like were you influenced by kind of those New Zealand

icons yeah definitely um David Tua just finished like he had his last fight and then that's when I

came in and then yeah I used to watch David Tua and be like wow he's cool and I used to think yeah

and I like I remember at my family homestead I was like running up and down the driveway like

come on Tua you better bloody win don't lose to this bloody fella so I remember being the kid

and my cousins were all like running out like yeah David Tua's gonna win so it was back then yeah so

not long after that then I joined the boxing gym did it for fitness first I was only doing it for

fitness for like all my other sports to keep me fit but then nah I liked it I enjoyed just doing

boxing because of the challenges that it put me through um in the lead up to this episode I I

talked to Isaac and Alina about and I asked them um what made you so special as a boxer

and they both mentioned your dedication and discipline and whenever I hear that and it's

and I'm talking to someone who's risen to the absolute top of their field you know world title

fight yeah I love probing a way to see if you can pinpoint anything from your childhood like boxing

aside like are there any lessons or is there anything that made you the way you are um from

your childhood that you can remember with regard to discipline and sort of dedication

my family my aunties yeah always um we're really strict very strict and always drilled in like

on all of us if you start something you you finish it but you finish it properly never do anything

half by so that was always drilled like even just to the way we clean um when we're on the

marae my aunties would yell out to us we're only young like 10 years old and they'll yell out and

be like no get in that kitchen clean that kitchen but it wasn't you weren't allowed to clean you know

how we just do a quick little random no it had to be like spotless clean you don't do a half by

clean it's a proper clean and that was just constantly drilled so like whenever we did something

we always had to finish it properly never do because they said if you do everything half by

then you're never gonna in life you're never gonna do everything properly so that was the

tool as kids we were always drilled in that's such a good lesson yeah it's such a good yeah response

to that because it it explains it so well that how clean is it is it stuck with you yeah how spotless

all the time yeah yeah it's stuck yeah and it's so good because like now my kids do it like

it's become a habit in our family so i'm so thankful for my aunties and my nan was like that

like she was so staunch on that like well any of the family that would come in should be like

you could come for a feed but if you came for a feed you come and clean too you know you know

because she did the cooking well you got to pull your weight too so yeah always whenever we did like

even when i played toughball i used to cry when i was only like eight years old and we're playing

t-ball and i'd write i don't want to play anymore and like i'll get the madest growling like you

have to finish it and you better play properly if i didn't play properly oh man i was punished

i wouldn't get any treats i'd be all my cousins will get to go out on like to the movies i'd be

stuck at home because i only played it half by and with your own kids now do you are you parenting

in that same style are you oh yeah definitely like especially with like my two oldest like my son

he always talks to me about bowls and he asks me questions and i always tell him like because he

hit there so many times he's like mom i'm too tired to do it and i'm like doesn't matter if you're

too tired you i said look at mom i was like i'm tired at boxing all the time but do i say i'm

tired do i go i'm not going to train today and he goes no you carry on doing it i was like yeah you

carry on doing it whether you've got a broken arm or a broken leg or sore back you push through

and so he just he keeps doing it and so does my daughter like um she had a couple of nationals

and she wanted to give up she was like mom i've had enough it's too tiring my my body saw my my

throat saw i can't do it anymore and i was like no toughen up you wanted to do this you finish it

properly and she was like but i don't want to go and she was in tears and i was like i don't care

you're gonna finish it properly and then at the end of it after they came second she was like thanks

mom for pushing me and i was like see it's worth it i was like you know you've got to teach the

children like especially if you tell them like to finish it then they'll they'll thank me later

like i said to you're gonna thank me later and she did and so does my son like look at him now he's

like thanks mom for pushing me now i'm in the new zealand team and i'm like yeah see there you go

make sense i love hearing that because we spoke about it before how he's a prodigy why he's so

good at 15 yeah because of this right and children they fought like they really they really look at

their parents and so i got to lead by example and so like i can tell my children like hello look

at mom i've got to do this whether i like it or not i still do it don't i and then it's good because

then they follow suit yeah yeah there's some great lessons in resilience there because there's i think

there's a generation now and i steven's gonna say oh is this your small sample size of melville

football club which yes it is but it's sometimes it's too easy to give up when the reward or the

success is just a little bit yeah it's just a little bit more effort away from that it is it's

great to hear it's refreshing to hear that sometimes the old school um the old school and the old

school way of thinking still has relevance today it does especially for me yeah yeah um so there's

a part of your journey uh in your story which is is both difficult to hear and important to hear

yeah and it involves domestic abuse and in as much or as little detail as you want to go into can you

tell us about the adversity that you faced um i think you're 17 and then maybe you fell pregnant

shortly afterwards yeah with and then what happened in that part of your life so i fell pregnant with

my first son he's my oldest he's 15 and that was great like i met this guy through boxing

thinking okay it's my first time ever meeting uh have like ever been in a relationship so i had no

idea what i was getting myself into i thought i thought i knew it like being 17 thinking you know

everything and you know better than your parents your aunties your cousins and like no this person's

the one like i was brought up especially like in a faith environment as well so like my mom always

and like made sure she and so did and me and and my siblings that when you meet somebody and you

lay in bed with that person you've made a commitment for life and that's how i was taught so i was like

okay i've met my number one like you know and thinking because i um i was taught how to respect

my body and stuff you don't just give your body to anybody so i thought okay this is the one and

then i got married early heck because i had a son and because being brought up in that christian

faith i was told to get married so i had no other choice because i didn't have a home and i was

pregnant and my mom was like you either get married or you're out so i had it hard back then so of

course me being young thinking okay i know what my mom's saying let's go i'll stick with my mom so

got married had my son and then i had my daughter and then not long after my daughter i that's when

i started getting like all the abuse like just slowly it slowly started chipping at me like he

just he did a number on me like i look back at it now and i'm like wow he like really mentally

abused me first then he started physically abusing me and it was just slowly breaking me down as a

person and me being and i was already like coming from a broken home because my mom and dad had

split it and like my mom became this crazy faithful person and it was just it was so

out of line that i was like okay i'll stick to the the abuser instead of the because i felt like i

felt like oh i'd rather stay with the abuser than stay in the faith because it felt like the

faith was a cult and i didn't know what to believe yet and i was still trying to find what kind of

faith should i be because yeah it was kind of confusing because my mom just changed suddenly

like she did a flip and so it was very hard and very confusing so i stuck with the abuser

had my two kids and then it just it turned ugly he mentally broke me down and then he

just started lifting his hands at me bashing me hurting me like it'd be like every week all the

time and i thought that was love and i thought that i owed it to this man who was my husband at the

time i thought no i've got it because i didn't believe in divorce i was like no i don't believe

in divorce i've got it the only person that can help this man is me that's what i thought

being that young so i constantly tried to help him and stay with him because i thought that's

what love was like it was normal to me because i was like i moved away from my family and got

surrounded by his family and that was normal to their family which i just became it became normalized

to me and then i was also i would speak up but then i would always get denied and shut down

and like i would even like open up to my mom and she never she had to see the evidence like

she had to see it eye to eye that he had done that to me so she didn't really and she always would

say oh forgive forgive the lord should forgive and i was like no he shouldn't be forgiving okay so then

i just fell in that trap mentally i wasn't all there like because i was just getting beaten up

i just mentally was just like okay this is my life i'm never going to get anyone because

he mentally drained me into like he really brainwashed my my mind to believe that i could never

get anyone and that i'm not allowed anyone and also if i ever left or if i ever spoke about

him hurting me that he would like kill one of my family or you know hurt someone in my family

and which he did he hurt my auntie and my cousins and they threatened my siblings so

i just stayed in it for the sake of it like i thought okay i'm just gonna stay with it because

i don't want to hurt any of my family i'll be like on the run sometimes trying to run away from him

he'd find me i could never run away like i was like on the run for that's how i felt like just on

the run was my kids and like my son he tried to run over my son so i gave my son up to my aunties

and they were scared of him as well but as long they were mainly concerned about the kids like as

long as the kids were safe because then he started getting into the gang and then drugs alcohol just

a whole thing like it was just it was so draining it was like a lot of it i've blocked like it's not

till i go to certain places and then i'll remember what happened to me and it's like what the heck

like i look back and now like what the heck was i thinking like but being that young just thinking

that you're you've lost your worth you don't value who you are you just hate who you are and then

also you you don't you run away and you don't know how to live because they control everything

he controlled the money i i didn't even know how to pay a bill like i've only just learned how to pay

like rent and stuff because i've never i'd never got taught that and i didn't even know how to be a

mom if it wasn't for my aunties they taught me all that so yeah he just he controlled everything

and i was always scared because i didn't want to leave my kids because

he really brainwashed me to say that if i ever ran away with my kids he would come and get them

because he he knew how to he knew the system i don't like the system it's all wrong and i never

trusted police because they failed me they never helped me or supported me because when i did call

or they they'll take it to court and it'll get thrown out because it was my word against

his and he always had support and backing where i couldn't prove so it was hard very hard and how

did you eventually break free how did you get out uh oh it took years to get out like i was

constantly like i'd say probably i've been free for the last three years away from him since he's

done he's i think he's doing life in prison and that's really secured my safety but even now like

i'm i don't like living on my own because i get i just don't i get paranoid sometimes and then i'm

thinking he's gonna pop out on nowhere because he used to do that all the time like i had another

partner at that time and i had a newborn and three in the morning he showed up and i called the cops

cops were like we were lying because he had gone and i was like he was here and they didn't leave me

so he still carried on torturing me and the only way i got out was when he got when he done life

in prison and when i moved to peach boxing when i finally met my gym he left me alone

like for good i was shocked i was like because i i had been all over the place throughout new

zealand australia it still didn't stop him he's still always found me we'll be right back after

this short break man thanks so much for sharing with us and i i want to talk about actually talking

about it because it's such a powerful message of what you have been through and what you've come

through to where you are now yeah and i know that like a media tour like this like before a fight

i guess everyone kind of knows the story but to keep bringing it up every time i imagine it's

quite emotionally draining but it's such also an important story to tell yeah like do you feel

it's important to talk about it yeah definitely i've not like to be honest the more i've spoken

about it the more i'm more confident and the more healing it is for me like i've passed that obstacle

because before i would like never want to talk about it it would hurt me like it would crush my

heart but now i'm like ever since like doing my last interview i went to my old home which i thought

i could never face i was always so scared of facing it and going there was the biggest healing

ever like i felt this you know how you just have this big weight on your chest and like someone's

been strangling you for years and you've carried that every night i had like literally after that i

had the best sleep i have ever had in like 10 12 years because i would wake up all the time just

being like paranoid because of what i had been through and all the torture he had put me through

the first time in my life and i felt i had the best sleep and like lately i've just been

having the best sleep i haven't had like i used to have always have like nightmares all the time

like just because of all the trauma i had been through and it used to frustrate me but now

i love speaking about it because it frees me that's how i feel i feel so free and relieved it's

like a big weight off me but also to help the there'll be people listening who are in similar

situations domestic abuse is a big problem in new zealand it is and it seems like the message

is don't give up don't let it define you yeah find your way through ask for like what is the message

the biggest a lot i this is for me a lot of females don't come out because of the shame

they are so shameful because of what they've put themselves through but no don't be ashamed don't

be afraid there's actually people that there's only like probably like five percent of people that will

think you be like you're stupid but 95 percent of the people will be like proud of you coming out

because that was the biggest thing for me was like why i never wanted to speak about it because

of the shame like i would be like why would i put myself through that why did i put myself through

but i didn't even know i was going through that because i was mentally broken as well

and they slowly chip at you so yeah it's the biggest for me is why i find a woman like a lot

of women i do know why they don't want to come out is because they're ashamed and they're too scared

they live in under their fear because that the male or the female the controller the abuser

has really brainwashed them and told them like if you ever speak you are gonna die or this person

you know they threaten them so that's what builds the fear in that person so that's why you're always

too scared to speak about it and that's that was my biggest struggle i was always too scared to

speak about it because of the shame i'd be like oh no it'd be shameful and then also would be trying

to protect them because you don't want to embarrass your children as well but no i openly spoke to

my children they were just like no we still it's still our dad but what he did to you was wrong

and so they're proud of me and they're the ones that have told me like no mom speak about it

because you're you're gonna help other women there's heaps out there but yeah i feel like the

biggest thing for females out there is don't be afraid don't live under that that abuser because

that for the last well of years or maybe even longer i've lived in that guy's fear and i've

finally overcome it and i can say that i am no longer letting him control me because like just

only just last week he was still controlling me me not realizing that he was still controlling me

because i wasn't speaking about it and now that i've spoken about it he ain't controlling me i'm

controlling him and i've got the better now i'm the bigger person and i've there's no shame there's

no i'm proud of who i am and i'm proud of what i've become since you have started speaking out

about it have you received either publicly or privately support from other people in the same

situation or people that maybe didn't have the courage to speak out beforehand that have heard

your message and now decided actually enough is enough and i'm gonna do something about it yeah

one of them was my auntie actually i only just found out um on monday she showed up at our doorstep

and she broke down to me and said to me i saw your little story and because he snapped her spine

and she said she saw my my story and it inspired her and then she went into a refuge because of

watching my story so that was powerful i felt like wow i just saved my auntie's life like

because this guy was going to kill her her ex-husband was going to kill her like she was

in hospital i didn't even know she was in hospital and then she showed up at our doorstep and i was

like wow she said it was my message that helped her get out of it and that's what gave her courage

was hearing my story i think another part to it is the role of people in and around that network

that know what's happening maybe not in their own relationship yeah but they know that it's

going on and they may stand idly by and by hearing other people's conversations about it it might

actually give them the courage as well to step in and and do something about it rather than

letting it letting it go because i think that's another massive problem that we've got in this

country is yeah it happens and they turn a blind eye yeah if i see it i don't i see it in the more

and i'm like excuse me i'm like you're abusing her i'm gonna call the cops like because i don't

want to step in because they might hurt me but the best thing i can do is call the cops because

i'd rather know that i did something then walk away and then find out she's dead the next day

so yeah by me doing say i'm not afraid i'm not afraid of anybody because like if what made me not

be so fearful is because if my daughter can fight for my life and stand in front of her father

and he was gonna stab me and she took that she took it for me that's when i was like

man if my daughter is not afraid then why should i be afraid and that's why i built the courage

i was like no no way if she's got that much strength why can't i have that so yeah that's

where i built my strength so definitely i'm not afraid of anybody yeah you're such a beacon of

light and i'm so i've got goosebumps just thinking about the message that in the platform you have

to share the message and it's so great you're such a good spokesperson for fighting for for finding

that strength to do what is hard so thank you for sharing that and i want to start building

now into the good times because that was the hardest part but outside of that is this incredible

story and i thought maybe we could start when you turned up to the gym with uh i think a six

month old and a two year old yeah and so you'd already met isaac peach um he'd helped you training

when you were younger but you trained together you trained together yeah but through all this this

period of your life you got detached and then take us to you sitting in the car outside the gym

wondering if you should go in or not i was so close not going in like i was so close not going

because like i was afraid of i never wanted people to know my about like never i was afraid of

letting people in and i had this wall up for so long for so many years so i was too scared to

always go to places and i didn't trust people that was my biggest thing like i couldn't even

trust my family members that's how bad i was i was really terrible i only trusted myself

and how i did everything so when i was sitting in the car waiting i was like i wanted to go in

but then i didn't want to go in and what made me not want to go in the biggest thing was because

my ex did boxing so i was afraid i said to myself i'm never going back to boxing because my ex did

it and he he put me through trauma through boxing i hated the sport i literally hated boxing but i

thought no okay i need to build some courage and i just said now bugger this i'm gonna do it so i

just picked up my babies and went in i was so nervous like every step i took walking into the

house oh my gosh and i'm not a nervous person i'm normally quite fearless and i'm like let's just

give it a go but yeah i was i was nervous and i was like oh my gosh okay taking each step and i

get into the door and i was like okay i'm here i have to do it so open it and i was like you know

open the door and i they what they just welcome me in and like made me dinner like you want some

dinner i was shocked i was like what the heck but yeah um that day i only went like i was only

went to the gym peach boxing because i just wanted to do fitness really and to like do something with

me was my life and i thought okay boxing is gonna do it and then like i was like sitting down okay

this is the plan and i was like okay you're cool and like i was not like i was gonna say to him i

don't want to fight and come like i'll do it for fun and he's like you're gonna be a professional

boxer and i was like this in my head i'm talking to myself while he's telling me this and i'm like

is he joking he's not serious because i'm i was like i did amateur boxing but never did

pro boxing and i didn't like pro boxing because i couldn't punch honestly if you watch me in my

amateur days i was like a little pitter-patter like punch run away punch run away like one of

those counter boxes i couldn't sit there and punch and i thought pro boxing was for like

big punches and i didn't value myself like that i was always like no i can't do this so when he's

like yeah you're gonna be the next pro boxer you're gonna be this next world champion this is all

like i just walked in the door and he's telling me i'm gonna be a world champion and i was like

this guy's a joke like i'm looking at him like he's crazy yeah this is normally him okay sweet

so i didn't i i thought this whole time he was joking and i started training and i wasn't even like

i was just like yeah he's still joking he's like no you're gonna fight your fight

and then it started hitting me and i was like oh my gosh no he's for real like he's organized the

fight already like yeah i was shocked the story is so amazing that i say that word too much but it

is like for him to say you're gonna be a world champion and then you've got a world title fight

coming up and you're gonna achieve that goal yeah that he saw within a few minutes of you

returning to the gym like he has seen something in you yeah like i was shocked because i was like

what do you see in me i'd say nothing great about me like i'm a pitter-patter and he's like no i'll

make you into a puncher and i was like i didn't believe him honestly i thought he was lying

i was like oh okay everyone says this next minute i'm started like started sparring and i was like

oh okay this is getting better oh yeah i'm getting good and then i was like oh yeah i'm okay

and then like he organized the fight and then i was like i was like okay i was like okay let's

just do it and then like on the way in he's like telling everyone this girl's got to be the next

world champion and i'm like tush man you don't even know he's like he's definitely studied the

fight game and knows how to hype it up as well right i'm saying in my head like at the way and

he's like telling all like the officials and stuff like yeah she's gonna be the next world

champion i'm telling you now he's i'm telling you and i was like oh shush man what if i let you down

and i was like oh no like i could not be that great and then like yeah then the first round

started on my first fight and i was like oh no i believe this now like let's go i fell in love with

it because at the time i didn't i was like i love the training and stuff i love boxing training

but when it came to the fight like amateur boxing i found it so boring and dumb because it was just

like it was all about points like pitter patter it was not like a hurt game like you know you

punish and bang like in pro i feel like you you you actually get to witness the art of boxing

where amateur is just like someone will get a point even for a little tap and i'm like what's

the point in that you've answered a question that i had later on which was what's the main

difference between amateur boxing and pro boxing so big difference right big difference like amateur

boxing is just like a little point you know it can be a tap and the head goes back where

pro boxing it's it's a real hurt game a big puncher and will show who's the better fighter

like that's how i feel for me it is but yeah you you can't really i feel like an amateur

boxing you can't really see the art of the sport of boxing but in professional you can see the art

of boxing and you can see the sacrifice of pain and just the mentality and the physical sound of

pro boxing is all in pro not an amateur amateurs like yeah i don't really like it i hate it we'll

be right back after this short break so i i asked alina and isaac what makes you so good i was like

what is it specifically and i want to read out um what they said so alina said athletically she's

gifted but it's an equal combination with her dedication she was a successful amateur boxer

but nothing like she is now coming back to isaac that's made her into the boxer she is now she's

always had the technical ability but power wasn't unleashed till she got with isaac nothing can

physically hurt her she can push harder than most people can and it's an obsession it has to be all

or nothing nothing else matters i thought that was really strong and isaac said her not give a

fuck attitude i make all these crazy plays for her and she says oh fuck whatever she's not scared

discipline is on point if you tell her to do something she'll do it yeah that's me 100 percent

both of them yeah i like alina's one though that made me look flash

so let's talk through the the boxing career because the decision you're doing the amateur stuff and

you're not really into it or whatever but the goal is to go pro and then so is that like isaac's

call is isaac deciding when the right time is to announce yourself as a professional or how does

that happen isaac's main goal is like if you're in our gym you're gonna become a pro like pro is

like the number one thing in our gym so yeah i'm not amateurs like a good stepping stone but pro is

the number one like that's where it all is that's the real game amateurs just a time for you to have

enjoy the sport but pro is we love it so take us to that first pro fight or just before that

first pro fight you're in the locker room does anything feel different is there a bigger

weight of expectation on yourself or is it just this is another fight like is it a is it a big

mental shift knowing that you're going into a pro fight at first when i found out i was a pro fight

i was like oh gosh like i was worried like i don't know if i can do this because i was like oh i

don't think i'm that great you know it was me coming down to how i viewed myself but when it came

down to the actual fight and being in that locker room i was like this is just another fight like

let's just go let's give it a go but it wasn't how i got in the ring and the first punch began

everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face yeah and when i got that first punch i was

like whoo yeah i was like no this is what you call a fight you know that because an amateur just it

was just it felt like it was a fitness run you know an amateur you don't really feel the punches

it's just like the first one to get the one with the most points clearest points bang bang bang

it just seems like you're playing tiggy yeah that's what it's like amateur's like it's like

you're playing tiggy like tag tag tag we're pro boxing's like oh who's got the best punch

yeah tag else that's the main one so like when she hit me i was like oh is that all you got let's go

so it was fun like you know i was full of adrenaline and excitement and after that first round i loved

that i did not want it to stop like i was like oh damn it's only four rounds isaac also said after

that first round you blew the biggest dirtiest greenest snot he's ever seen in his life is that

is that was that the adrenaline just coming out of your body no that's me in general

that's normal that i have like bad sinuses i know it's normal honestly every fight i have

first round i always have my own towel like i always have my own towel and i blow it all out

and it's a big it looks like spew and a big green chunk yeah once i've got that one out

bang i'm away i'm fascinated by that corner game because i've watched a lot of fight sports

so when the bell rings and you go to the corner and you're getting instructions from your coach

adrenaline's flowing do you actually take that in like i guess it takes an experienced corner

person to be able to communicate the mess the right message to you at the right time but yeah

how much of it is they're just talking at you and you're like you said just get me back out there i

want to go again like how do you do you have to learn how to take that instruction in the heat

of the moment oh yeah definitely um definitely i i gotta say my coach my corners best you'll

ever find in the world to be honest because he knows like each one of us are different but he

knows exactly what to say the the biggest thing is making every time i come back to that corner

he's always just says okay how do you feel are you okay you know that's the like those are the most

important words for fighter like you don't realize people think it's instructions no for me the biggest

the biggest thing and the most important thing which even drives me to even be a stronger and

like i'm gonna go out there and kill you is because the first thing my coach says to me is

how do you feel are you okay and i'm like yeah i'm great wow wow like he's making sure i'm okay

and then once he knows i'm okay bang i get the instructions it's nothing too difficult very

simple he doesn't make anything complicated he keeps it's so basic and because he already knows

he's told us all of it at training so it should be muscle memory but it's just very little minor

little things and if we are like being lazy then he'll yell at us and that's what i love like

the best thing that i can say about my corner is the passion like the belief you you just don't

find that in the coach like with each fighter he has you you feel my coach's genuine authentic

passion about you as the fight he makes you feel like you're a million dollars in that corner

like no one can no one makes you feel like that but when you feel like you're a million dollars

it only makes you more determined to win and that's i feel that my coach gives that so well

and he gives it he he gives it to all of us he treats us so well and he's got our back 100% and

when you're in that corner you feel like you're the champion already because that's what he does

and he's bloody awesome at it like i don't know any coach like my coach he's got a unique vibe

to him too is he still wear the jandals on fight night yeah as he was yeah definitely wearing them

on on Friday night is it a west Auckland thing yeah i think it's a west Auckland thing definitely

he's a hearty westie yeah has any of that rubbed off on you are you starting to get those westy

vibes as well yeah i think i've become more horny because of him but what does that what does that

look like is it like jandals at fight night are we is that what we're talking specifically

always jandals if he's in his shoes it's like what the heck is wrong with our coach today

is he all right with a check his temperature um there's two parts of your fight training that

i wanted to talk about so when i was talking to alina and isak they both mentioned kind of like

like it was normal oh yeah um eight-year-old does does most of their training sorry what

did 18 year old like no eight-year-old i read it i read it in notes yeah and she's like what's

this is this typo yeah he's like nah eight-year-old like what what's going on there so i have my little

trainer he's eight years old his name is called zen peach which is he's this oh i don't even know

how to describe him he's amazing he's real he's authentic and he completes me as a fighter so

this kid believes in me from day one and the passion that this boy gives me

is so real like every day he works with me every day and he's got my back a hundred percent

and he gives me something that no one gives me like it's it's so raw and the faith that this boy

believes that i hey like he always says mere mom and dad are saying or it when mere or if mere becomes

the world champion he's like there's no if there is you are you already are so like i haven't even

got the belt and he's already saying you are the world champion mere you are he always corrects

he always saying i can't believe mom and dad doubted that why would they and i'm like yeah his

his passion for boxing really it really rubs in what he does he he's great at it like

he taught me how to throw a right hand like my coach couldn't even do that but he taught me how

to do it and like people would be like who's this eight year old why would you listen to

our eight year old man this eight year old's got a brain better than he's like his his parents to get

like in one you know his mom and dad he weighs it up so yeah you put those two together that's him

and one that's the best way i can describe him but i love that kid he's he's something special to

me he means everything and we're going together that's my manager credit to his parents right

like the same way that your your children are thriving is it's because of the job they've done

yeah that's so cool that's such a cool story he makes me cry god damn it

um that's so cool the the other one was i'd heard that you're not allowed to train at full tilt

when you're sparring because you're too powerful they weren't that you're like go a hundred percent

i think that's just me sometimes i feel like i'm a big bully like i'm the small i'm the smallest

one but i struggle to like let my full power go unless they're bigger than me like if they're like

the heavy weights down i'll let it go i'm like yeah let's go but then when i spar like the girls

like i kind of feel like a big bully and i don't like it so i struggle and like i'm getting told off

all the time and i'm like oh damn it why i don't know what it is i just struggle to let it go on

the ones that are smaller because i feel like they're not smaller they're bigger than me but

they seem smaller than me yeah and that steve dean told me that whenever you do knock someone down

your first instinct is to pick them back up again yeah like you you want to go and and help them

back up yeah i always do that it's just i think because i know what it's like to be on that ground

so once i just like when it comes to fighting once i've hurt them and i know okay the fights

bang i'll quickly pick them up just to give them that courage because when i was abused i would

always get hit to the ground and i would always say to myself oh man i wish someone could pick me up

because like i don't want people like when i see my opponents like yeah they're my opponents once i

get to the ring it's a hurt game but once i know i've won i'll pay my respects and pick them up

and then just because i feel like that's important like just it will just uplift them because

too many girls get knocked down and then they don't come back to the sport and i don't want

people to run away from the sport i want more females to come to the sport so i can fight them

yeah one of the fascinating things i found in talking to combat sport athletes or even

like rugby league players is that ability to flick a switch because sitting here talking to you now

yeah you are this beautiful person thoughtful articulate but it is a hurt game yeah it is a

hurt game is it as simple as flicking a switch yeah for me it is i can flick straight away is

it a bell sound is it a state of mind like i think it's just a natural instinct like as soon as i

know that i've won like back i can see it like i just see it and i'm like bang i'm in i've got it

bang it's like okay fight's done let's go pay my respects and that's it that's just i don't care

if they're rude to me whatever but that's just me as a person how i present myself is important

because i feel like i'm a role model too and like kids look up to me as well so if i'm just gonna

keep being cocky and everything then we're teaching the children to be like that you know

no i don't like i don't want to teach that that's not what i want to instill for myself

but that's just who i am in a person like i can flick once once i've done my job bang okay done

let's go i'll pay my respects which is a weird part of the fight game right because in order

to hype or promote a fight sometimes fighters have to portray something that they might not

really agree with so again shane cameron when we had him on spoke about his fight with david tour

and in order to sell the fight promote the fight he portrayed something which he looks back on now

was kind of like that wasn't that's not really what i'm about i had massive respect for david tour

oh yeah i'm maybe paraphrasing him wrong here but there is an element to the theater of the sport

as well right because bums on seats if you want to get to the biggest stages in the world it's an

entertainment as much as it is a sport right yeah and boxing is what i love but i struggle like

i struggle to be like i can't fake something it's real hard like if i if someone told me like

act like this i'm like i can't i'll have to be me i don't let anyone like the coolest thing is my

coach is we change for nobody so i'll be me and that's how i am so i won't let anyone change me

i'm gonna present myself how i like to present myself not how someone's telling me to present

myself yeah you've got such an extraordinary story like this this pro fight game 15 wins in a row

lands you on the doorstep of this world title fight with what we have discussed and this whole

journey do you look back with are you filled with immense pride in where you are and how you've got

here and the power of person you've have to a hundred percent i'm proud of like a few attacks

me last year i would be like hiding under the table and be like oh yeah i'm okay with myself but

nah today i'm proud of who i am i'm really proud i can't believe where i am now it's i'm still shocked

it's like is this a dream sometimes i wake up and i'm like pinching myself like especially lately

like i've been waking up and like damn it is this real it is real i'm body full world title

it's what like the last two years i've been dreaming of this right so yeah it's it's still a shock

and it's not till fight day then all the reality yeah take us into training camp because obviously

hard work goes without saying you've talked about zen and and what he brings to that as well

my perception is it's serious and hard work and graft and get the job done

there's got to be light moments right like do you guys take the piss out of each other in the gym

just as much as you work hard oh all the time we always take the piss out of each other like

in the gym it's just we're just ourselves like that's the realness of us like in the gym we

will be ourselves um i built my trust through my gym like i let my wall down thanks to my gym

you know so we can crack jokes i can be i'm not afraid to speak like before i'd be always too

scared to speak about my personal stuff but i'll share it with my gym and be like what do you think

and you know they'll give me advice and then you know we give each other advice so it is it is like

we work really hard like when it's training it's we're full on like don't there's no mucking around

if you muck around you're out like we just don't have the time for it because like we we're there

all to win world titles that's the number one goal and so when we train we train like we're

winning a world title so it's really hard but at the same time after training we take the piss

out of each other we crack jokes we be funny we get smart to each other it's crazy humbleness right

no egos uh i'm not sure if i'm gonna say this right but i've heard your nickname is hakateri

oh yeah hakateri what does that mean it means like it's another word for hori but you know like

you're you're disgusting you're dirty it fits me perfect because my nose you know

um i had i had a oh yes you're talking about fighting for a world title

the like real boxing novice here who has be very wary of a guy who thinks he knows a lot

about a sport because he doesn't know a lot about a sport but it's an ibo bantam weight

title that you're fighting for yeah super bantam super bantam weight okay so i've got two parts to

my question one is is it all the letters in the alphabet again like are all those top wbo wbc

like are all of those various boxing promotions i think they are are there titles in all of those

as well yes so they're sanctions yes that's the word i was looking for yeah like i said be wary

of a guy who knows a little bit but doesn't really know what he's asking five sanctions okay yeah well

there's five top sanctions yeah so there's wbc wbo wba ibf ibo and then there's the ring magazine

which is like once you get all unified you get that value as well okay and super bantam weight

what does that mean in kgs that is 553 okay do you have to cut or yes i do what is involved

in a weight cut for you just eating clean stop eating bread stop eating chocolate and stop eating

a lot of fatty food like i said you weren't gonna say any of that stuff because if i need to cut

wait for a fight that i might be in in the future you're fighting bro yeah you never know man you

never know with me drink lots of water all of these things i hate weight cut but then i like it too

at the same time because like it makes me i feel better like you know when you're eating eating

you feel like you got his energy and your lights and fire like man i've weight cut and then like

at training i'm like whoo my feet seem faster i'm like whoa and then my hands go faster well

that's how i feel so i'm like yeah how far out from the fight do you have to start cutting

i start like depending where i'm sitting so when i'm sitting i like to only we we try

see the best thing that my coach is really good at this like i hate listening to you know

because nutritionists right like good credits and nutritionists they know what they're doing

but they don't get the sport or boxing because like you don't want to be on weight on the day like

i've learnt that because it does it takes you know if you're on weight the week of your weigh-in

then you've like lost your your you've lost like muscle or your power and then like the way my coach

does it is that he makes sure we lose the just the fluid and then because the fluid you can put

straight back on and then you come back to your old weight yeah this is fascinating to me how this

all works it really is man my coach's brain is like it's crazy hey like how he knows all this

stuff he's like a manager coach nutritionists because like honestly if you get like a bloody

nutritionist and a sport athlete and you know like a strength conditioning person to like tell us

fighters oh you got to be out this way we will get in the ring and we'll be weaker but no we're now

if we listen to exactly how our coach tells us to do it we get in the ring and we're strong

we're fast and we're strong we haven't lost any power or speed so yeah i really yeah really listen

to what our coach says when it comes to eating and stuff and that's what i've learned like especially

last year i was like damn it i did like i lost when i was in Dubai i lost like it was really good

but the heat and i like i lost it too early and it did take i learned the hard way like it did take

a little bit of my strength out of me and i've i got tired tired quite quick where this time i know

how to do it exactly how he said like when he says be at this the week of the fight i'm like yeah okay

i want to make sure i'm there that's what he says yeah i tell her to do it she'll do it yeah like

some of the boys like don't even listen to what he says but if they listen

he'll come out the champion that's a difference between a world champion it's an incredible sport

when you consider again the novice just thinks you get in a ring and you fight but all of the

aspects that are behind the scenes that don't even enter the the casual sports fan mind it's

you understand why they call it the sweet science because there is an absolute science

behind what you do like i feel like for boxing like you know how like a lot of sports you can be

physically fit like you can be a machine like you can be the fastest runner or go for miles

but boxing it's a mental game it's just it's i find that it's more mental than it is physical

because like you do all the physical and the training but it's the mental like if our mind ain't

right then you're just going to fail in the ring so it's a real mental game

in boxing i feel like um tyson fury and anthony joshua are the perfect representation of that one

is the most chiseled fit supreme looking specimen ever and you got tyson fury who's sort of looks

a bit out of shape and a bit sort of sloppy for lack of a better word but just mentally to the

master yeah right he just he just owns it can i ask a just another niche niche fight sports question

which is one of the ones that i go to do you have the same walkout song every time or do you mix it

up no i mainly have the same walkout song but this time i've mixed it up okay can you tell us

the song that you normally walk out to i don't want to spoil the surprise for fight night coming

out i normally walk out to my cousin um deus writer's song he ripped from um himself ages ago

because like back then i used to be like a big fan like thinking yeah my cousin sounds funny

awesome and it fits perfect because like i know every single word to it and i love how it helps me

because it makes me feel relaxed and excited so yeah he ripped that song and then he made one for me

and it's called the nightmare oh wow awesome it's so cool awesome it's really cool um one last

question from me and she's gonna give me shit about it he thinks i always ask guests about how

much they earn and i'm not gonna ask that he does but i do want to know about um professional

women's boxing so it's like you win this fight and then is the gold go overseas is it uh a lucrative

fights on the horizon like is there big money at the top of the woman's professional boxing pyramid

yeah there is at the end of it like once you collect about like depending who you fight and

then like if you beat them oh man yeah the money can be big yeah definitely but it's okay but not

as good as the men the men get way more but that's okay i love the sport not for not because of the

money i love the sport yeah yeah you do love the sport and we've heard that you also give back

and i know you might now that you're a a a pro fighter not looks so favorably on the amateur sport

but i understand you corner for amateur boxes for young boxes coming up as well is giving back a part

of a big part of what you do now oh yeah 100 only make like you learn when you're in the corner you

also learn things that you don't realize that you're gonna learn like you'll you see those fighters

that you're taking in the corner and you're like you're giving them advice and then you're like

oh i need to be saying this to myself do you know so you're actually teaching yourself at the same

time when you're taking um people in the corner and i love it i really enjoy it it gives it gives me

another passion of why i love the sport it definitely drives me like taking people in the corner it just

gives that more determination to become a world champion improve to everyone that

this little Maori girl from New Zealand can win a world title and we'll collect them all

it's such i'm gonna start um wrapping up and i'm gonna lie and say it does great outro so be

careful of his one but um we've done 122 episodes you might be the most inspirational guest that

we've ever had on oh thank you your story yeah brings me to tears um oh

sorry you're okay don't worry bro because i'm going to go as well when i do the intro

um the stuff you talked about what you've been through and like being homeless and in the car

yeah with your kids and having nothing and having just not wanting to be around anymore and then

fighting to survive for your kids and that journey to where you are now is just it just

it just gets me so oh thank you so much for coming on and being so vulnerable

thank you for having me i really appreciate it i don't know it's sorry it's really got me um it's

been such a cool episode it's really touched me oh thank you and i just wish you all the best for

the fight and for the future um but i'll pass over to shane ha ha steven it's a hard act to follow

my man sorry you're good man you're good and i think that's important i think that reaction

is important because it's not just women who are on an abuse journey it's men like us that are

around and that are there to support and your bravery and your honesty to share your story

and your reality the good the bad um takes incredible strength of character um it's your

story yeah but it's so many other people's stories as well and i mentioned at the top

that you're bringing other people along on the journey some of those people you know but some

of those people you probably don't know and i hope one day they come and they thank you

for the courage that you've given them to speak up as well um abuse doesn't discriminate people

think abuse maybe hovers in lower socioeconomic areas it doesn't it permeates right through

all levels of our society so if there is someone out there listening that

something has resonated with them i encourage them to seek help to speak out to start that

conversation um steven hit the nail on the head you're an amazing spokesperson for this subject

you're an incredible role model um for people in new zealand for Maori um i love that you're

reconnecting um with your roots and i love that your children have found peace in their roots

and long may it continue and all the very best for the fight um your coach has said you've got a

massive future ahead in the sport i've got no doubt you've got a massive future ahead in the

sport but you've also got a massive future ahead just in new zealand society and in um in showing

kiwis that bravery so thank you very much for coming in and and sharing that story with us

thank you i've really enjoyed it and i'm blessed that i'm able to share my story

and i'm very like the biggest thing for me is people really look after your mental health and

you know if someone is like you know bullying or like angry and being aggressive towards you

it's public because they're going through their own mental issues like i can tell them like my

my son taught me this amazingly he comes home from school he's only nine years old and he goes

mom this kid did the fingers to me and he's bullying me at school and i said well what has

mom taught you yes mom guess what his dad was beating him up so i said to him it's okay i'm your

friend and that to me showed me that what i am as a mother i'm doing right for my son i'm teaching

him to understand because there are kids out there that are going through pain and that

they just don't know how to let go because they're getting beaten up themselves so they

lash it out to other children and just have an understanding that's my biggest thing is have

an understanding and really don't just look at the person because what they've gone through

actually just have give some compassion and love the biggest thing we can share to the world is love

is the best healing thing you can ever give someone a hug and saying you're beautiful or

i love you like i can say i love you to everybody because you know what that's the biggest kind of

thing you can give someone and that's what i've learned like for me i wish i heard that when

i was going through that i never heard those words i only heard it from my children and

that's what kept me going so you know anyone that's going through anything just know that you're

loved you are really loved even look just know that you love yourself that's the biggest thing for

me and love children children will give you the best authentic like that children are your healing

healing because my kids are my healing and the kids like zen roko jet they're my healing too you

know they've helped me become more determined and strong woman i am today because you know

they train alongside me every day in the gym and i look at them and they give me the drive

to just be this world champion because they believe in me so because those kids believe in me and my

kids believe in me no one can stop me and i ain't stopping till i get them all thanks so much mere

thank you for having me hey guys if you've made it this far hopefully that means you've

enjoyed this episode and if you feel strongly enough about it to share on social media that

would be much appreciated also make sure you subscribe to the show in your podcast app and

leave a review that stuff is really important for helping us grow catch you next week

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.