Between Two Beers Podcast: HAMBASSADORS #4: Steve gets a Vasectomy, Russell Packer Review, Marc Ellis Live + more!

Welcome to episode 5 of Ambassadors, our show that takes you behind scenes of the Between Two Beers podcast.

Shay, how are we doing?

Very good. Yeah, we recorded an episode, I'm a little bit low energy.

I'm a little bit low energy, I had a late night.

Late night researching, and I think I got my show notes through to you at 3.34am, so maybe running on for a few years.

Maybe bring that energy up, bro.

Yeah, sorry, I should bring that energy up.

I'm also a little bit miffed that by the time this episode goes out, you would have had a vasectomy.

And I've only found out that you are having a vasectomy by virtue of reading the script for what we're talking about today.

So that's caught me a little bit off guard.

We're just all business now, our relationship.

You just get told when you need to know things.

It seems that way.

And also, as holding the mantle of New Zealand's most prolific podcaster, someone's going to take a shot at the title if you go and get the tubes snipped.

Yeah, look, I think four kids is enough.

That is my truth, I think we're done at four.

A lot of people thought you were done at three.

Yeah, a lot of people did, they were wrong.

Our youngest Goldie is nearly about two months old now.

And me and my wife, Bonda, at that stage in the healing process when we start getting back into a little bit of lovemaking.

And it occurred to me that what happens if she gets pregnant again, and it scared the shit out of me, to be honest.

And it's kind of like the vasectomy thing has been something I've been talking about for a while and I booked it in and I thought there was a long wait.

But apparently it's only a few days.

So booked in tomorrow and I'm going to go get the SNP, SNPkings.com.

On that Google search, you didn't look up condoms?

Well, did you know I've been doing my vasectomy research after a vasectomy, your chances of impregnating someone just less than one in 2000.

So it's still a chance.

Yeah, that one could slip through.

But I had a question for you about vasectomies.

Yeah, what do you think happens?

Like specifically, what do you think they do?

What do you think the procedure is?

Uh, I'm going blank here and this doesn't make for a great podcast.

But my only vasectomy knowledge comes from Dr. Mark Fulcher, who is my reference point for anything medical, an episode way back in the football days of the Between Two Beers podcast.

Stolen.

He said that one of his dreams would be to conduct a vasectomy at a barbecue, which tells me that it's a pretty basic procedure.

Yeah, but you're flirting around.

What do you think?

Well, and there's only one way it can go in, right?

Or are they cutting a little incision?

Like, how are they getting in there?

Through the, through the bum hole.

It's the only way you can go.

He said, he said, when he got his done, and I think this is not my story to tell, but, and I might be, what do you call it, paraphrasing?

He said when he had his done, when he turned up at the Vazman, it's just smelled like burnt pubes, singed pubes, I think was the exact description.

So if that's the case, then I guess they go and maybe they make an incision and you scrotum and they go through that way.

See, I'm coming from a position of authority.

I don't actually know what happens.

It's a little bit of, I don't know.

Is that authority?

No, but I'm trying to make it appear like I know.

I don't.

I'm assuming they're going in through the urethra and they're making a little snip somewhere.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm in for.

But I do know you have to ice your balls on the drive home.

I've looked at the post care.

Are you getting it done in Hamilton?

Yeah.

Snipkins.

Are there any Google reviews out there on their servers?

Cash jobs.

Is that, is it actually genuinely mad?

$550, which is a little bit more expensive than I thought.

It's not a business expense either.

So you're paying out of your own, out of your own.

Yeah.

All right.

But there's inflammation as well.

So you got to take paracetamol, whatever, which leads me on to a good story about you and one of our friends who got a vasectomy.

Don't do this.

And this was in your drinking era and perhaps a good little insight into why you don't drink anymore.

Do you want to tell the story?

No, I don't really want to tell the story.

Michael Main, I'll tell the story.

Michael Main, who we have referenced, the football ferns assistant coach, had also decided that it was time to end his child making with his beautiful wife, Tyler.

He had a vasectomy, was in the recovery process.

I can't, the details of how far along the recovery process.

It was the next day.

No, it wasn't the next day.

It was.

It was within the next day or two.

It was in a two day window.

Okay.

Very raw, very sore.

So we went round to the mains.

I think it was a poker tournament.

Yeah, there's a poker night after a big window to get up at.

We're all, yeah.

Melville had just a lot of moves.

Yeah.

Everyone was having a good time.

And then we were waiting for a taxi at the end of the driveway.

And for some reason, I employed the SackTap on Michael.

Yeah.

And he was obviously in a lot of discomfort before that.

And I sort of, the SackTap is just the worst of the gags.

Like that got retired in seventh form.

And here you are a full grown man, 40 years of age.

I wasn't 40 at the time.

Late thirties.

And you're still SackTapping.

Yeah.

How did he, how did he respond to the SackTap?

I'm not proud of that.

I just want to be very clear on the fact that I'm not proud that that came out at that

moment.

Did he swing at you?

Yeah.

He was disappointed.

And then I think when that disappointment and pain wore off very briefly, he came charging

at me.

He did.

Swung at me.

I immediately realizing my error, put my hands up and said, yeah, yeah, I deserve this.

I think I sent a text at three in the morning.

What escalated the situation was one of our other friends who also has been a former guest

with Kenzie.

I love you said they're friends.

He's your brother-in-law.

Yeah.

Your brother-in-law Ross McKenzie.

He was, he was pissed up and he started saying, oh, he's faking it.

He's faking it.

And that just, and then he went after Ross.

And it was quite a situation which you caused.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I accepted full responsibility for that.

Although I think at the time at the night, the responsibility percentages were divvied

out.

There were various numbers.

I think DCing who was maybe there that night as well got 1% responsibility.

Yeah.

I think the lesson is don't ever sacked at number one.

Number two, after a good friend of yours has had a vasectomy, just be very gentle.

Be very loving.

Be caring.

Just be there to support.

In your snipkings.com Google search, what's the recommended recovery time?

How long are you exercising?

No exercise for a week.

You want to be icing within 20 minutes of the procedure and then I guess on and off

for a little bit.

So yeah, I don't know.

Maybe I'll be putting my feet up tomorrow.

Quickly you're able to get back in the saddle, so to speak.

I don't know, actually.

I don't have that info.

But you can't, there's a length of time and you have to test the semen to see if your

swimmers are still going for it.

I've heard the only way to do that is a taste test.

All right.

I think that's enough.

I think that's enough to stick in the chat.

We have to cut that.

We have to cut that.

No, we don't have to cut that.

It stays in.

We have to cut that out.

It stays in.

So we are going to reflect on some of our recent releases.

We released Surai.

I don't even mean to do that.

I don't even mean it.

What was the Josh Coleman one after he spoke about something?

Oh, so you beat it.

Yeah.

So you're beating it.

So you're beating it.

So you're beating it after the sad wank story, which we missed.

We almost.

Surai Bearman, we released that last week and we sort of teased that out in the last episode

and we said it was one of our favorite episodes.

You're going to love it.

And it was great, man.

She sent us a really cool message.

Yeah.

I think, again, I'm paraphrasing because I don't have it.

I could probably just pull my phone out and read it, but I won't.

She said she listened back on the first day of her vacation and it was the first piece

of media where she really felt like her authentic self and thanked us for what we did.

And I think we both came out of the recording like, wow, there's no FIFA talking points there.

It was the real Surai Bearman swearing like a sailor.

I think you used surprise that she swore like a sailor, which on listen back, I didn't think

she swore that much.

No, I think the authenticity part is the key there.

Like she was so real.

And I was surprised.

I think I was a bit skeptical at first when you suggested her as a guest.

I was like, ah, she's going to be in corporate mode.

And it was just so cool.

Man, her story, her storytelling, the emotional, the vulnerability, the whole thing.

Brilliant.

Yeah.

She came out of the, she came out of the blocks hot too.

Came straight after me.

You and your new relationship.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But that's fine.

Yeah.

I guess she's allowed to.

She's the most powerful woman in sports administration.

She is.

Good friend to have.

Do and say what she wants.

We also on Monday released Russell Packer.

Rusty P.

Yeah.

What do you think?

Yeah.

It was a long time in the works to get Russell Packer out.

His first real time on a podcast, sharing his story.

We teased it in the Josh Coleman episode.

I think they both read a man's search for meaning and we had a lot of feedback from

people saying, oh, where's the, where's the Russell Packer at?

Where's the, did you take it down?

Where is it?

You know, timing it with a, with the warriors and up the wires kind of movement as well

was, was, I think will be a master stroke.

We had a few that had to jump in line, but it's out there.

The thing that I like about this whole thing really is you change perceptions.

My perception got changed of who Russell Packer was.

I knew him as a headline.

I knew him as the guy who was in jail, the guy that was sort of pissed his pants at the

warriors, but talking to him, man, there is a guy on a quest for knowledge, the first

to learn and get better and make self improvement and talking to him like, yeah, it just totally

changed.

And it makes me think of all the other people I've got these sort of views or opinions on

probably so far away from, from who they really are.

Cause I really enjoyed his company, like a really nice, thoughtful guy.

We've been messaging him since.

Yeah.

And to drive three hours up all the way from Papamoa on his partner's birthday to come

and spend some time with us and share a story was, it's, I guess it speaks to what he wanted

to do.

And I'm really happy that we got, we've got a platform and gave him a platform for him

to start retelling that story.

And hopefully it's helpful to some people out there that have listened to it.

Yeah.

Very strong lessons in there.

Recapping last week, we went on a triple date.

Didn't we?

Yes.

Me and.

Is that a thruple?

Is that what they call it?

Me and my wife, Bon and Michael Main who we just mentioned in his beautiful wife, Tyler,

and you and your new partner.

Doc Brown.

Your partner.

You can say Doc Brown.

Yeah.

It was nice.

Megan Wilkinson was there as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fan of the show.

Yes.

It's quite nice.

I mean, there's six months in, but it's just, it's like PDA, you know, holding hands.

We went for a drink.

Holding hands PDA?

We went for a drink and then we went to somewhere to eat and then we walked to watch Tom Sainsbury

show and it's holding hands the whole way.

And me and Bon just in the back sort of just enjoying it.

They didn't encourage you to hold hands?

And then we held hands.

We're like, fuck these guys.

We can do that.

Yeah.

Right.

But it's nice, man.

It's nice.

Thank you.

Is that what you're saying the way that it was nice?

Is that the?

No, I really like it.

I think I've done quite well.

Yeah.

But that, it was cool to do that.

And we didn't sort of Tom Sainsbury's hour at the meteor.

Fuck that guy's funny, eh?

Yeah, it was good.

Like, I guess whenever a former guest comes into town as ambassad is it's only right that

we welcome them in.

I think he was genuinely surprised that we went to the show.

I really enjoyed the show, particularly his comments on Raro, brought back a lot of memories

of that Tupperware taste.

Always makes me laugh, his like demographics.

It's like older, like wine drinking mums.

And there's quite a few oldies there.

It's like, yeah, because that nostalgic shit hits hard.

Yeah.

Especially as you get older.

But if you get a chance to go and see it, great show.

I think he's touring the country.

Some between two beers, social media insights.

So you have gone viral across the last month for your Fijian accent.

We cut up a little clip.

I think, was it the last ambassad is the episode?

I think it was the one before, maybe.

Anyway, I'm going to read out some stats.

128,000 views.

It's been liked 19,000 times.

There's 548 comments and it's been shared 2,000 times.

Essentially has been picked up by the whole of Fiji.

And if you go and look at, if you go find that on TikTok and look at the comments,

it's universally, oh my God, I didn't know we had an accent until I heard yours.

It's so good, bro.

You're invited to the cook it.

Lovo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Big Vinaka Vaka level to all of the fans in Fiji.

Thank you very much for your support and your goodwill.

God willing, I'll be coming back home to VT level anytime soon.

And love to see as many of my fans as possible.

He's done it again.

We've got another one.

We're going viral again.

I think I lost it a little bit there at the end.

I was a bit flustered.

No, it's good, man.

It's good.

Speaking of socials, Jimmy Nisham actually, black cap came out recently.

And I thought this slipped under the radar, which was your description of the famous part

of the Forest Gump movie where the gentleman is running saying, I believe that belongs

to Mr. Gilmore, which is very clearly from Happy Gilmore.

Yeah.

You can't say the name of the movie in the quote and then get the name right.

It's like, it was like a Steve, Carl Pilkington, Steve Merchant gag.

It was like, Carl Pilkington was like, what's the little things in the movie Gremlins?

Gremlins.

Yeah, some of the areas.

But no, cheers, Jimmy.

Good to know you're tuning in.

Right.

A few questions from the fun bag.

Angus Rowland has written in.

I don't really get this.

Champagne or bone in?

What does that mean?

It's gone for the ham reference.

It's a champagne ham for me.

The other favorites are Honey Roasted, I think, is a manuka.

Do you know what I thought that meant?

No, but I'm retreat.

I thought it meant, would you prefer to go out on the champagne to have a night out

or stay in and do some bone in?

No, you did.

I did.

That was what I thought we were answering.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

No, it's a Hewed Meets reference.

Obviously, I've got a bit of grasp of the delicatessen section than you do.

Yeah, very cultured.

Rick from Hallensville, if you could do a live show with one former guest, who would it be?

Yeah, I've thought about this.

Mark Ellis, I think it's an easy choice.

And I think...

What does a live show look like?

I think there's a few ways you do it.

And we've been talking about doing a live show.

And I think with someone like Mark Ellis, you could just do one night with Mark Ellis.

And it's me and you on stage, and it's an hour to 90 minutes.

And it's just us prodding away to get him to tell the most epic stories of his life

and career.

I think there's very few people in New Zealand that you could do that with in that form.

Someone who's lived an incredible life, is so high profile, is such a good storyteller,

is so engaging with the audience.

But Hewed, and it would sell like hotcakes.

Mark, if you're listening, let's do it.

Jeremy Wells from my side, if that's your description of what that headline act would be,

I think Jeremy Wells would be one.

The other way to do it is Graham Norton style.

I'm a big fan.

With three sort of lesser profile, perhaps, guests.

And they come out for 20 minutes.

You chat with one, you bring the next day out to chat, and then you bring them all together.

I think you could do it like that.

And so they're waiting in the wings in the background.

But one night with Mark Ellis, that sells out.

Yeah, nice.

That sells out.

Right, question from Steve.

I'm thinking of starting my own podcast.

What advice can you give me?

Are you breaking up with me?

Is that what's happening?

No, man.

Different Steve?

No, you're a good different Steve.

Different Steve.

Sounds like you're breaking up with me.

I would say...

And you're answering your own question?

Yeah, I'm going to answer my own question.

If you're starting your own podcast, do it for the right reasons.

Do it because it's something you enjoy doing.

It's unlikely you'll make money from it.

It's unlikely you'll attract an audience unless you stick with it for a long time.

I mean, that's just based on our journey.

It's been four years, but for the first...

First two years, the audience was tiny.

You keep going because it's something you enjoy doing.

Have a point of difference.

Have something which separates you from the rest.

Ours was long form.

No one else was really doing 90-minute plus episodes.

We thought we could do them well.

It separates us.

But yeah, just go into it with the right reasons.

Don't expect to make money from it because there's a shitload of podcasts out there

and not many of them are making money.

There's more and more coming out every day.

You talk about our audience being very small from the beginning.

If you're still on with us, keep an eye out for the coming months.

We may be dipping our toe back into the football space

with a guest coming up that some people might enjoy hearing from.

Nice tease, bro.

Any questions you regret not asking a guest?

That's from Rory Taylor.

We went all the way to Gisborne to talk to Lance Keynes

and didn't talk about Excalibur,

the bat that everybody had through the 80s and 90s,

and Keynes Fudge also, we didn't talk about.

We were being on the plane on the ride home and we were like,

fuck man, there was such a cool lit article experience.

Fuck! Excalibur!

We've done that a few times.

I can't think on my feet of any very specific examples outside of that,

but we do sometimes come to the end of an episode,

finish recording, chatting with a guest afterwards

and being like, ah!

Forgot to ask about Insert Big Part of Their Life

that we didn't deem interesting enough

during the two hours that we've spoken to them.

Yeah.

Right, last one.

Looking ahead to this weekend,

Melville United in the Chatham Cup Final.

I think Mark Curry wanted to hear about this from down south.

He's a big fan of football and, I guess, to Melville United.

To put this into context.

Episode one, Aaron Scott.

Yeah.

Melville United captain at the time.

They had just lost Chatham Cup Final.

Yeah, 2019, four years ago.

And he's still going.

He's talking about maybe quitter, you know, maybe...

Your dad, Bruce Holloway, retired him at the end of that Chatham Cup Final.

Four years later, here he is about the...

And he's still got absolute grass-roots legend of the game.

Four kids still going, and he's in Chatham Cup Final again.

North Harbour Stadium, we're going to be there.

Support in Melville.

You know, long down.

Has he had a vasectomy?

I don't know.

I don't know if it's my place to say.

We can only speculate.

You played in a Chatham Cup Final.

I'm going to indulge you with a little bit of football chat

with us, anyone.

You played in 2003 in a Chatham Cup Final.

Was that the highlight of your playing career?

No, it wasn't.

No, I did some things in America, but I was 17.

Yeah, Chatham Cup Final up 1-0, lost 3-1.

Funnily enough, the same scoreline, I think, as Melville's other Chatham Cup semi-final.

But...

Chatham Cup Final.

Chatham Cup Final.

I'm rambling.

It's okay to ramble.

Yeah, I've got very, very fond memories of the Chatham Cup.

I thought making that final, you would make finals all the time

and you would win things and didn't win much.

Didn't get back there after that for a little while.

2019, I was part of the staff, the team staff.

That was pretty cool.

But yeah, we lost that day 3-1.

Yeah, I think reflecting on this coming Chatham Cup Final,

it just made me think of the podcast journey

because Aaron was the first guest.

And if you go back and listen to it, it's fucking raw and rough,

we had so much fun talking, essentially doing the same thing we're doing now,

except that was just a guy who lived down the street who he'd played football with.

So here, four years later, to be thinking about that journey

and linking it in with the Chatham Cup Final and sort of history repeating.

I don't know, something cool about that.

So maybe we go back after the Chatham Cup Final and we record Aaron Scott again

and we just do everybody from episode 1 through episode 140 again

and see if we end up in four years' time exactly where we are right now.

Hey, it's a direction. It's an idea.

It's an idea.

It's certainly an idea.

No, but go and watch Chatham Cup Final.

Go support Melville. Be on TV.

Yes, it will be.

You could go along.

It will be on TV.

Anyway, thanks for tuning in.

Make sure you flick us your questions at any time, really.

We'll answer them on the next episode of Ambassadors.

Been an awesome month.

So yeah, the snowball continues to build.

I know you hate that saying, but things are going great

in between two beers world.

Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for your support.

Bestial shout out to our Ambassadors on the Facebook page.

We know we probably haven't been as active as we could have been recently,

but we'll look to really engage with people.

Well, have you been on there?

Not been on there.

Have you?

Liking stuff.

Have you?

Yeah, man. Join Ambassadors.

It's a hive of activity.

Sell it.

Oh yeah, sorry.

They don't know what's in there because it's private.

You're right.

It's all going on.

Get on Ambassadors.

How good was that post the other day from that guy?

Too good, man.

Too good.

Alright, catch you next week.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.