SmartLess: "Bill Hader"

are you prepared to have your mind expanded to learn things you may not

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you're not gonna get that here because this is smartless here we go

wait two pieces of business right up front okay let's go business one Jason

Bateman just recently won the Screen Actors Guild award oh we couldn't be

happier this is gonna air months months yeah I get it but it just kind of

happened recently and it was really exciting I a little tear I got welled

up I was so happy and so proud I'm just trying to chase you what do you got four

of them now I got for who's keeping score who's keeping score yeah that's

right shit it's so far yeah yeah well we're we're trying and I wish my hair

looked as good as yours this morning you did you get up early would you have a

call back or something by the way I slept in our new merch shirt it's so

comfortable oh that is the merch store is up isn't yeah it's yeah here's what I

say about our merch sleep in it don't sleep on it you know I mean oh my god

are we paying you extra for marketing no all of this stuff and these are just

the tops of headsies yeah I call them tops of headsies wait and then the other

order business is Jay had an emergency root canal yesterday yeah why did did you

not feel it coming on why did it was it was whenever I would crunch on

something that didn't crunch you know like a like a like a popcorn

that doesn't well no pills if you really come down and like I need it will

collapse sure but you know a bacon bit oh yeah or how many bacon bits are you

talking about like that would send me into down to my knees well you so many

nuts and by the way insert joke here but but and also nuts here but but you

you do you do eat a lot of nuts I do and seeds and sometimes seeds don't don't

collapse either on a heart so anyway it's hard for me to go down on nuts to the

seed is stored in the nuts right the seed is stored in the nuts yes yes yes

here what you did so it was all of the sudden so yeah so I had a bad a bad bite

on some overly fried rice a rice kernel that was fried up too hard in the pan

so that took me down a Sunday and then I had to get in there Monday and so what

they did was that was that pre-sag awards yeah was that it was it was I

managed to fumble through my acceptance speech with a hurt tooth I got skills

you know pain you just kind of grit what was ever what was left of your teeth

and I did so you so in a sense you acted like everything was okay I was up

there for acting excellence yes yes no one was the wiser Sean and so so then so

then I sit in the doctor's the dentist chair yesterday morning and and he he

said yeah you're gonna need a root canal and I said when do we do that he goes

we can do it today if you want to and he just stared at me and I stared at him

and he blinked and I blinked and he wondered if I had you know the stones

to actually go for it and I was like let's do this and he's lean the chair

back and you yeah I know and when they started drilling and about 45 minutes

into drilling right when I thought I was through the worst of it he then gives

me a play-by-play says okay now I'm gonna slice out the root or no no he says

now I'm gonna remove the nerve oh god you don't need to tell me like I just

pictured this you know large animated angry red worm that he's gonna slice

through and pull out and I just it was just so dumb of him it's a lot of nerve

yeah was it was it I think a lot of nerve really oh shandy are you getting a

fax did a fax just come through Sean what happened listen we gotta wait

Sean's doing some reading is it okay should we pause they were printed on my

printer okay let's turn all the devices off everything's on silent do you think

people are do you think people are just like butt printing you what's going

with their butts sorry I butt printed you nothing that's an emergency comes

through the fax anymore Sean no I got a phone call I got a phone call hang on a

second guest will's not done I well we can kind of say but I got a phone call

from our friend Conan O'Brien yesterday I saw I missed it so I called him back I

don't don't even speak his name to me and I texted him I guess it's about the

holidays next year because everybody he's working on the list already sending

out the group photos from everybody you know this motherfucker I guarantee you our

guest was at that party guarantee we're gonna we're gonna open with that so I

said sorry I missed your colon he goes it was a butt doll even my ass hangs up on

you it is a problem about having your your your name be be starting with an A

you get all the but all right I get all the but tiles from people all the time

all the time anyway what's even more pathetic is that you called him back hey

man you didn't leave a message you want me well we had been we had been texting

and then so I figured that he was like sick of texting so he just wanted to get

to phone so it's like no I didn't didn't want a longer conversation and I've

been kind of shitty I'd sent him because he'd been texting me this thing and I

and he was like can I ask you to the bubble I go yeah man I go I'm a very

busy person wait he was inviting you to something else yeah he's doing this but

you know his Easter jamboree you couldn't even get that out you are talk

so quick today Willie who says jamboree how do you have that word ready you

know what I just noticed after how many years now will that when you laugh

really hard you hold your left eye as if it's going to pop out it's just the

left eye that's loose I think right you just hold right underneath the eye

drifting I think that's my that's the one so it'll fall with a real big laugh

gang this week's guest is one of my favorite people and talents here we go

he is able to make you laugh or cry he can act or direct he also writes and

produces ladies he's a Gemini an avid reader and allergic to peanuts sounds

like I catch peanuts peanuts peanuts that better he's been a part of 50

movies and a lot of TV in fact there he's received three Emmy Awards three

DGA Awards three WGA Awards but the three daughters he has are his favorites

guys he's a lover not a hater ladies and gentlemen it's Bill I think I'm I'll

bet you I've got to be the best at the intros can we just yeah when you were

saying I was like oh it's very well as always improvising them I take time and

I shape I shape that's what's the worst part I think that's the most damning

thing is that you actually put time in that hi Bill hater how are you guys so

Bill did you go to Conan's Christmas party I did yeah I did were you invited

the year before as well I was yeah yeah those are intense how many years has

you been having that well I mean wait everyone has had that house oh you guys

there when the couch caught on fire you guys there when I've always been there

yeah yeah when the couch he's inside and he's talking and you know when Conan's

had a couple two glasses of wine cuz you like when I was a rider and then

behind him is couch caught on fire and it wasn't a bit it wasn't a bit and we're

all I going Conan the house some fire and he went oh well it was very sweet

it wasn't he was he head writer went by the time he left I know I love Bill

haters on the phone and we're talking about Conan no but no I think Conan he

had to be like one of the top writers on the show yeah I don't know if he was

ever head writer but he certainly is I think I think I think Jim Downey was

always the head writer when he was there Jim down here man you couldn't book

him Bill what's number one on my list here fascinating wiki page by the way

have you read have you ever have you ever read your wiki page have you ever

edited your wiki page no no well have you ever read your wiki page don't lie

yeah I've read it before sure haven't you Sean I have not yeah Sean read it

years ago I have no idea I think you can get in there and change it right didn't

we change well Kimmel use the rose once yeah Kimmel used to change the rose

right yeah we we yeah we wrote we wrote on the rose wiki page that he he's a

he's a I don't think we called him a cum crier but we said that he does he does

cry after he ejaculates right but it stayed there for a good day or two I

think we told him about it on his birthday okay hey Bill

yeah we're interested in comedy as a kid

this is a German interview with a class clown yeah in Germany the clowns are

very sad wait Bill you know what I can't help thinking I'm so sorry to bring this

up but every time I see you and we're all fans that is is the story of Megan

Malale seeing you and calling on Michael yeah and like saying hey you need to

see this guy is that true that's an incredible story I was in a I was at a

class I was a like a class show at Second City L.A. and her yeah brother-in-law

Matt Offerman and I were in the same show together and she saw me and it was

like you know she's from Oklahoma I'm from Oklahoma so anytime you meet someone

else from Oklahoma you're like you know there's a mural of them someplace you

like oh my gosh you know and she was like you're really funny and that was and

I didn't think so but had you auditioned for SNL before or no no no I didn't

have it and she was like you're really funny and I was like oh thanks and I was

working as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America wow I know I couldn't get

the main gig

Bill get the lights you know yeah yeah assistant editor was like Bobby Flay

electrocuted himself can you take that out you know so now so Megan Malale was

that close to Lauren Michaels that she could actually pitch I guess so I think

she had just hosted okay and so she called him up and then I got a call

from I was in my edit bay and Lindsey Shookas called me no way like I work hey

is Lindsey Shookas and she was more you know Marcy Klein's like yeah she was

brand-new whisper yeah yeah and she said hey you know Lauren like to meet you

blah blah and I was like and you know Lauren Lauren would like you to come and

wait in the hall outside his office at 1 a.m. and then meet him at 4 30 yeah met

for it no that's oh really a hundred percent what happened nothing makes me

more nervous about the auditioning process than waiting to go in I went in

and I was just sitting there and then I sat in that outer office on the ninth

floor for four hours and then someone came in like hey we're gonna go have

dinner now and I was like with Lauren and it was like oh no no no no just you

and me and then that's like awkward small talk very nice people and then yeah

I finally was that dinner with who is that dinner with Lindsay and oh my

gosh I forget the other person but it was one of his assistants and then this

is like 2000 early 2005 and then I and then I finally go in to see him and he

goes do you know why you're here and I said oh make him well he says she's on

me he's like you know I was on a boat once with a guy and he was funny the way

that Bill Murray is funny and I thought to myself I know Bill Murray and then

it was like do you want to hang out tomorrow and watch the show and I was

like sure and he was like all right and you know who and then you know who

hosted the next week when I did my show was you Jason me when you hosted the

first the first was I that was when it was Tuesday night riding night of when

you hosted they made the cast some of the cast members and people come and

watch me perform no way because I remember early 2005 that was like what

like January February yes yeah how do you know that will how about that will

Jesus because I have a fucking crazy and I was sitting there going to go yeah we're

writing that Jason Bateman's hosting this week and you know we got to get back so

hurry come on you gotta like because I had a lot of writing yeah I had a sketch

group and my like sketch slash audition piece was in the middle of the show and

Lindsay shook us around the back and was like just do that sketch come on but

here's my question though it's like it's Megan so Megan made this call to Lauren

Lauren called you but did you have any aspirations to do that or were you just

like sure I guess I'll show up because somebody called I always well I came to

LA to be a director those were always my heroes you know I was like writing

directing and then but I you know I mean back back especially late 90s really

2000s it was still like had to be on film you know I mean video didn't look

good is now and I had no money so a way to be creative was a friend of mine said

oh do you want to take classes with me at Second City and we'll just mess around

and and it was really fun but it was always like so when I got on SNL I was

so envious of the Lonely Island guys that they were making short films yeah so

I was like I go hang out what you guys are making those like and cuz that's my

world that's what the digital shorts for yeah for Tracy I remember Bill I

remember early on when you came on the show like early and we're at an after

party with your folks it must have been one of your first shows you remember

that we were sitting outside my dad lost his mind over will my dad really there

was huge there were huge your parents were huge arrested fans remember that

Bill yeah my dad goes no fucking way well I'm at holy shit holy shit and he

kind of had will up against the wall it was at that place it's right across the

street from 30 rock on 6th Avenue exactly yeah yeah Bill good and I was

going dad dad dad dad relax and he was like no fucking way you're in my face

Bill yeah and I remember Bill and Bill was like new and Bill just kept going

I'm sorry man I you know and I was like your parents were super nice oh it

made me it I was gonna have a panic attack because I heard my I was have my

back turned this is back when I smoked so I was having a cigarette that's right

and I was and behind me I hear will our net Bill senior and I was one time my

mom went over and sat at Lauren's table and I look over there and Paul Rudd was

like he kind of he goes Bill are you clocking this and I turn around and my

mom is sitting at Lauren's table in between Marty short and Steven Spielberg

I walk over there and I'm like she's coming with me I'm sorry come on come on

you know just like oh my god it's like they're all so short were you

they're so tiny they're all so tiny were you I would imagine they're not even

there like in front of them yeah exactly were you confident that you were that

you were a comedian and were able to make a living in comedy given that you

were kind of just wanting to be a director and go that route and then all

of a sudden you find yourself with a job as a comic where you did you feel like

great well let's do this now are we like oh they're gonna find out I don't know

what I don't know what I'm doing yeah yeah I was I mean to have that those

people who were in there when I showed up you know I was really intimidated you

know so I was like they all had second city you know groundlings I mean I came

in with Jason and yeah comedy Chicago man and I just was like I don't I remember

my first table read just going I wrote a thing with Warren Warren that's right

will forte and it was it was so bad and I just remember looking in the middle of

it over at Tina Fey and she just had this look on her face like oh no

you know and I was like oh god you know so I was I was so I was very I was

incredibly incredibly crippling insecure and anxious I would say the first four

seasons but but it's almost like you were made for the show though because like I

I'm sorry to keep harping on the same point but it's like you you got this

call but you could also you had all these characters inside of you and a lot

of it's you know I find it rare in a lot of sketch shows that people have so

many characters like you or Mike Myers or Dana Carvey or whoever that that just

had them but did you even know that you had those characters in you know I

didn't know no a lot of that was like you know you make fun of people you know

you do impressions of people at school right you know things like that but

never you know I don't know you guys are probably I don't know I was not the

funniest of my friends in high school so it wasn't like I was known as a funny

like my friends in high school when I hang out with them I'm like the eighth

funniest guy right everyone you know how to cherry pick I know how to you know

what I mean yeah half my shits all will our nets yeah Bill you know what makes

me think of it is is our mutual friend and all of our friend the great Pete

Serif in which when he used to do that 15 pressions but it's all of made up

characters that's one of my favorite things so it's not it's fake famous you

guys both do an Alan Alda the kills you both do an Alan Alda well that's what

people say Alan Alda was like we got to see Peter Serif I know it's pretty

insane but but bill it remember but you know it does make me think though like

you did you talk about the film you did you in the lonely island boys started

making video you you were in there and working with those guys pretty early I

mean in fact the summer after lazy Sunday you guys were making hot rod was a

June 10 it was a June July or August well that was September hot rod was

September 2006 that's fall 2006 that's just it came out in seven yeah it came

out in seven but it was shot in we shot it in six yeah because I remember I went

up to my friend's wedding in Toronto but I had to go really I was really sick I

just we just what I just showed it I just watched that movie with my kids and

their favorite part is you yelling babe babe which one is that hot rod I've not

my recollection do you remember there's that scene bill we were shooting it was

you me Danny McBride and Yorm but you and Yorma were standing in front of me and

and fuck I forget what happened I kept going like what about the little one I

kept saying we kept fucking laughing and then we'd all break up and I was like

okay we gotta stop we gotta get one but what I was gonna say was you did you

got on you started making videos with these guys really early and fuck I love

the one that you guys did that fucking always kills me I think holds up is that

dear sister oh yeah those I mean to be clear those guys wrote and directed all

those it was kind of like they would come into my office and go hey Bill you

want to be in this and I'd be like yes because I just wanted to be around them

shooting stuff yeah but you're a vital part you're yeah that dear sister one

was I think something fell through and that was a thing they had done before so

like we're gonna recreate this thing we did once before and that was at a hotel

across the street from 30 Rock and all I remember from that one is that we

started shooting it at like midnight no way and then it was done on Friday night

and then it was done at like seven in the morning Saturday morning and I walked

out and I had the choice to like to like go home and try to sleep or do I just go

to 30 Rock right now and just hang in my dressing room until we started

rehearsing it was awful yeah I don't know what it was like it was you it was you and

wig and Andy and Fred and Jason were cops at the end and then Shia LaBeouf

Shia LaBeouf and Fred and Jason fuck if you guys ever seen that sketch do

yourselves a favor it is the Lonely Island guys just incredible I'd love

the timing of the editing of that sketch is unbelievably funny yeah it's very

good it's a masterclass in timing yeah I got to see that and we will be right

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back to the show so Bill did you did you think that you had a fastball when

you started was was there did you think I'm gonna do impersonations or I'm gonna

be the straight man or I'm gonna be like what did you think like you're

Vincent right by the way your Vincent price fucking kills thank you yeah a lot

of stuff was the writers would kind of I was someone who really needed the

writers I was always impressed with people like Fred and Kristen and these

people who would just write for themselves yeah you know and you were

like man you guys are just so confident you could do that I really needed to go

into a writer and go you know and sometimes it was like well Bill what's a

voice you do you know what's anything and and like a lot of people I kind of

came in and my heroes and things I liked was much more weirder and kind of

stranger and a lot of I learned the term hat on a hat it was like I was like

you can't just do a talk show it's got to be a talk show that's inside a man's

ear that's on the you know whatever it was very Monty Python explain explain

how to hat for the it's kind of like a joke on a joke so a perfect example was

I did a sketch because I could do a tauntaun impression it's so funny and

Mike Matt Murray one of the great writers on the show said what if you did

that Panther Panther and we so you so and we had Natalie Portman was hosting

so it's like oh what if it's you teaching her how to do different Star Wars

noises as part of her SNL audition and then I said what if I do it is Peter

Falk so what that thing alone is me as just an acting teacher yeah that's

enough uh-huh but adding Peter Falk was like can you do like two seconds of it

hat on a hat oh no it was like so yeah this is a job well now listen though the

tauntaun comes from the land at war well holding his eye and I just remember

Seth Meyers going like hey buddy hey buddy can I talk to you for a second it's a

little bit of a hat on the hat and I go what and then I did it at dress you're

never gonna believe this it died it was I think that's funny as well as we I

could hear my footsteps I could hear myself turn the glass of water down it

was like so quiet you can hear the e-train you hear someone cough in the

alphabet streets and I was like oh god this is bad news and and and I went in

there and I just looked at me and he might not mimicked you know putting a

hat on top of another hat and I was like okay and so it didn't make it yeah it's

so funny was Natalie must have been dying when you were doing yeah she I

seemed she seemed to like it I don't know and then and then we did I remember

Dana Carvey hosted we did a thing called the casems where he was Casey case

and I was his son JC case him and the whole thing was that we had a terrible

relationship and it was me coming to the house at 2 in the morning and he was

like who's out there I'm Casey case it's dad it's not a burglar raccoon it's me

your son JC case son get out of here dad hear me out son I want nothing to do

with you and it was this very intense family drama you're always asking me

why won't you get a job why will you won't you stop doing drugs and what

recording orders have more number one is Mariah Carey with 11 but seriously son

I need you out and I out and that played to utter silence I've got the

audience more silence utter silence because the audience was going wait did he

wait what you know what I mean and so how and yeah we were just I would have

Dana and I were going Dana and I were like why I wrote it with John Mulaney and

we both were like why didn't that work that was so well did you guys ever have

discussions about well because the dress is what eight and then the show is

obviously yeah and 30 but is there a do you ever say well but the audience at

eight is weird and it's different let's just trust that the 1130 audience is

gonna love it at home and it's like isn't that I wish there was a science to

it but it I do remember if the dress was hot that was bad if dress was really

hot I remember Polar saying like oh hot dress that's bad and I was like why

what oh you know and then yeah it's right it's like if the dress is hot then

weirdly you get like it's a superstition thing you get really confident and then

when you go out to do the live show it's like go shot go shot I was to say for

my sister Tracy like when you say dress is dress rehearsal I was sorry that you

do before the pre-show live show and they have extra sketches in the dress yes

so there's a cut go ahead it doesn't work it's paired out yeah so dress

rehearsals at eight o'clock we do a whole show plus like I remember that three or

four extra sketches and then we go into Lauren's office and stuff has been cut

and then the stuff's been rearranged and rewritten and then that's the live

show and this is after a brief conversation with the host who gets to

chime in I'm not sure to what effect about what they would like or not yeah

and I'm not sure if they're listening I think and it's Lauren eating popcorn

going yeah I mean if you want to look like a fool we can do this you know I

once I once my brother-in-law played golf once yes yeah go and he owned a golf

club and the question is are you gonna rent her own are you gonna rent her

sketch cut you know and then you we would do those in some price sketches and

if you between dress and hair and you like someone wouldn't do something you

know old-school impression and Lauren would be like well what if John Hamm

played Herbert Marshall and you're hearing the band playing you're hearing

the live audience being put in and you're like I don't know if the audience is

gonna know Fred McMurray and it's like how about James Mason anybody could do

James Mason if I imagined you when you're working on an impression if I

imagined you in front of a mirror alone just like making faces and doing sounds

is that is that is that about the extent of it like is it a real private kind of

or is it kind of a little here and a little there like sometimes in the car

sometimes in the car you do it around people and then it kind of comes out and

it's like whoa that's not a good that you still do that Bill or I mean do you

still oh yeah yeah it's like it's just like yeah it's like a my dad does this

too where it's a it's called appropriation where it's you know when

you're nervous around someone you start to talk like them you know and I've done

that since I was a kid like I get very socially anxious and then you start to

mimic people's accents as a way of being like hey I'm like don't you know like

we're all good you know it's like the same tribe don't kill me yeah don't don't

kill me so yeah you start to talk like people or whatever and then and so I

think that lent itself to being able to do voices you know when you were growing

up in Oklahoma did you do that with like did you have a did you gravitate

towards friends that had the same sensibility and we're kind of yeah you

know I'd like that or were you like oh yeah and like we weren't like weird

no he was trying to ingratiate himself with murderers and well that too I mean

yeah I mean I kind of wanted like oh I just wanted like to get to know everybody

yeah no but like my best friend is is a writer on Barry is like one of the big

writers on Barry and we've known each other since we were 15 or so wow we

still right right great show and you're great yeah congrats so working on a

bridge from SNL to Barry what about do you remember the moment where it started

to become clear to you that okay my life is changing and going to change and I

got to kind of get my knees bent and be ready for what can be pretty uncomfortable

which is fame and recognition and responsibility and and and approaching

your dreams what did that feel like when Barry came out or like after SNL ended

yeah I mean to move away now from SNL but I guess it must have started there

and and feeling like maybe I can now leave and see if I've got what I hope I

have and try it out yeah that's that's it's nerve-wracking when you I mean

because I remember when I left SNL I did like interviews about it like I went

and did like Charlie Rose and I did these things about you're leaving SNL and

the attitude and everything was like well maybe we're never gonna see you again

you know nice knowing you that's the risk right no one knows there's you know

and it was like maybe that's it and so yeah it was I wonder what that batting

average is what do you what do you think the percentage of cast members that go

on to you know careers that you can you can still make a living with yeah I don't

know I mean yeah I have no idea I mean I I tried to I think it was for me it was

like you know it's like if I thought of like what makes the plane stay up in the

air I would go crazy yeah you know so so I just was like I'm just gonna move

forward and block out any sort of because I'm very sensitive to other

people's energy so it is hard when you see you know agents or executives are

like hi you know wait am I out am I in wait what was that

and so I'm very so I I do kind of like put my head down and just keep moving

forward and try stuff it was pretty cool to see you start taking roles that

weren't necessarily starring roles they were these really cool supporting roles

in in these really fun movies that had these great big stars leading them and

I was like this this is it looks like you're building this foundation that is

gonna be around for a long time and then when Barry happened and especially the

directing element I was just like so excited for you and then talking with

you afterwards and finding out about your original passion which was directing

I just was so excited for you that that has all come true I mean oh thank you

very much jumping around a bit but I mean was that always a goal for you and

that some of these to the extent there was any strategy that some of these these

career choices were meant to point you in that direction and finally land

something where you could be somewhat of an auteur yeah I mean I think it was

always wanted to do movies and then and then you know I'd written some scripts

and then I was did some acting jobs and then but I didn't really have a lot of

faith in myself it was kind of like you know it's like you dream of a thing but

you don't you know I don't know if I can do it feels like the universe wants me

to be this thing right and I'm kind of going well maybe I'm not right for this

other thing and then honestly I had a beanie with HBO they had seen me in a

movie called Skeleton Twins and they said oh you should yeah we were interested

in you being like that kind of acting in a show for us not like sketch and I was

like okay cool and then they know you meet this guy Alec Berg maybe you guys

come up with something so Alec and I sat Alec Berg yeah came up with with the

show Barry and it was when I went into the meeting I haven't talked about Alec

about it or anybody and they went who do you think should do the pilot Michael

and Bart I was like who do you think should do the pilot and I was like I'll

direct it and it was just silence and the guy if you were directed before I was

like no no but I can do it and Alec Berg to his credit kind of looked at me I

didn't talk to him about it or anything and he went yeah yeah he can do it yeah

I got no he'll be fine you can do it and then that's great and then he told me

afterwards that he was driving home and they called him going all right can you

really do it yeah cuz that's a big for Tracy that's a very you didn't you tell

me though at one time and maybe that you said that Alec said to HBO yes if Jason

Bateman can direct anybody can is that quote yeah well that was a t-shirt they

wear over the DJ that was a T and the DJ said the DJ said yeah we let him in as

a as a bit they said this is a bit yeah into the DJ so at South by Southwest when

they give you your key cards yeah before seasons it's if Jason Bateman that's

what guys this I hope this is a joke no it's gonna be it's a big long joke and

they're giving you awards and they're giving jobs because at the end it's gonna

be we're gonna do a big reveal when you're like 60 yeah and by the way when

Jason 60 he's simultaneously gonna weigh 60 pounds he's whittling down you know

and now we can even have the nuts it was just the cardboard so it's gonna be 60

pounds and then we all go it was a fucking joke Jason do you ever have that

happen though when people look at you and they go oh a dirt an actor is

directing if they don't I'm they can always be sure that I'm doing it I'm

sitting there going what what am I doing both you guys are smart dudes and

you know what you're doing and you've been around a lot and as you know from

the little directing that I've done it's it's much more about understanding what

it is that you want tonally and what you want that to be and also you guys

have succeeded in it it's not like you tried it and it doesn't but still it

doesn't matter because my idea of what a director is and looks like is completely

opposite for me it's just like your idea of what 50 would be when you were 12

has nothing to do with what I feel I can look like at 50 or you know like you

also know like even the greats as you know there is a certain and I say this

out of you know with a tremendous amount of respect for all the great

directors that have come out is is there's that thing of like they have to

keep it special and keep it exclusive and keep you out because it they're not

doing it to punish everybody else but it's also to maintain that respect and

that level of thing it's like this guy's a great director and you could never

do that and there's a little bit of like well you did it no you're just a human

being as well yeah a little bit and there is and of course there are great

directors but you guys are both very accomplished good directors and you

that's how you become a great as you keep doing it yeah and also just sitting

around a set and absorbing what everybody is doing to create this fake

world like it's hard what these crew members do is insane insane it's really

really cool and it's not just the director as you guys know it right

everybody's a filmmaker the costume department I love how many actors show up

on the first day of principal photography and they're like okay let's get

started no no we've been doing this probably a half a dozen times already

basically yeah it's always yeah people kind of thinking like well you know it's

also I always have a thing where you have an idea and then you go out there and

you see all these people busting their ass away from their families yeah in

terrible conditions for at least 12 hours trying to make your right you're

trying to make your idea happen you know I mean I'm like I sit and I look at

and I feel like such a responsibility to you know have my shit together and as

we know as actors that's the worst is when you have a director that doesn't

know what they want and they're certainly and it could be this and you're

there for I mean I've worked on shows where I did a show on a movie where we

did reverse splits because we kept going so late through the week so by Friday

we started the day on stage at 1 a.m. yeah shot until 3 p.m. on stage because a

director because a director was just like I don't know what's reverse what's

reverse splits okay so like for Tracy that's a big treasure yeah so like if you

start like so you have to have like a like certain people have to like 12

hour turnarounds meaning like if you work from 7 a.m. and you you shoot until

10 p.m. you got to start the next day at 10 a.m. right give people 12 hours you

gotta give 12 hours of rest which includes driving home which is an exact

can't can't negotiate you gotta negotiate that no but I mean early on when

you're starting that's not even get into portal to portal I mean what are you

talking about a portal to portal is like the goal like you got portal to portal

we're gonna start getting into Downey's deal I mean Downey's on stage for 45

minutes before he's out yeah it's anyway you go to so like if you start at you

know Monday at work at 7 a.m. and you end at 10 p.m. and then you have to go okay

now we have 10 a.m. and then they go until one now Wednesday you can't start

until 1 p.m. and then turn 1 p.m. it's gonna roll back even more so it's

basically a director shooting 18 to 20 hour days and you got to get people

there turn around it just keeps pushing pushing pushing right so so you're

ending your work week Saturday Friday like four in the afternoon yeah Friday

and you're like yeah yeah yeah and it's solely because someone doesn't have their

shit together yeah shit and into and then directors defense they never see any

other director direct so they don't know that they're not getting it done that

they're not doing it well it's you know actors crew members everybody sees

multiple directors and then if you ever get the chance to direct you can cherry

pick from all the good ones and not do the stuff that the bad guys did Sean go

ahead jump in I wanted to say Bill one of the first times I was ever

introduced it introduced to one of those hysterical bad lip-reading things was

you somebody sent it to me years ago and they're so funny I think there were

Star Wars ones or something yeah and and they make me and I want to know you

done you're done with the subject we were on yeah I'm correcting okay he loves

he loves it he's just goes 180 unbelievable and he got it's okay it's

fine you've pissed off the guest Sean no no we can talk about bad livery no I

always wanted to know because I know I've never met anybody who I know who did

it how I just got a dumbest question the world but I'm always interested in

knowing how do you do it did they just run the tape and you ad lib or the guy

who does it is a genius and he he just you go to his house and he's done it

already oh wow so you just you just you just you are it's just you're watching

it going okay so he's done it already and so you're trying to mimic it's so

funny they've done and it's really that guy and it kind of just took off and now

they do it for people in Congress and like I don't know how they yeah I have no

idea now what we move this around in the episode there's a whole Sean's

section that is after we say he's like a make-a-wish kid he'll just go I was

wanting to know how did you and when we give him a t-shirt every once in a while

we're just building the steam with the yeah you grow up with a dog now with with

Barry where are we with where are we with Barry as we as we talk I know by the

way sorry no offense to make a wish obviously it's amazing and yeah you

have to say that everybody knows you're joking okay well we don't you know we

get lots of letters from people let them let them write just don't read them

well you're right yeah but so where are we with with with Barry are we in

production out of production the thing with Barry I'm just waiting for Sean to

come yeah it was really funny he doesn't think of any questions until you're

actually talking your parents listen to Charo believe me it's exactly like that

no but I think that's funny I like that no we just did so we're doing editing

season 4 and how high can you jump I'm just curious these are the things these

other things seem like you could long legs it was like you could jump high

anyway depression you were talking about depression you're really into the

you're really into the thing you were talking about but I just wanted to take

you out just to satisfy this my own itch and so that's right depression has

affected your family first how long and and and you do like tater tots I just

want to get that and now a word from our sponsor and now back to the show wait so

so you're at your editing we're editing and we just did reshoots last week we

did three days of reshoots some in this weird place of like did these reshoots

and now I'm back in the edit bay plugging in what we reshot and the

anxiety of like oh please don't wait this works you know yeah yeah and seeing how

it plays out and going but then it's also that I'm also at that phase where

really smart friends and people who have worked on the show or people I know

writers or former editors I will send them the episodes to be like how's it

feeling haven't been sent anything you know I well you know didn't you take now

I feel like it hasn't been on for a while didn't you take a break was there a

break or a COVID thing or something yeah well we had to for season between

seasons two and three yeah yeah and then I shot I've been waiting now I've been I

did three and four pretty much back to back huh yeah because of Dr. Fauci Dr.

Fauci yeah because of Fauci because he wanted to do I keep going what's the end

game what did he want to do he wanted to take over the planet what do you think

the Emmys what I say you you too Jason and Will were the two people the Emmys

that pointed at my face and went mouth why you wearing a mask I remember you

yeah you were going why like malving are you sick stay away and I was the

reason was because I was shooting and it was this thing of like if you get

covered we shut down for two weeks lose all our locations people got to go

home we lose crew yeah so I walked in and I was like there's literally no one

with a mask here you were the only one I saw Bob Odin Kirk and he's like do you

have COVID Bob Bob Odin Kirk and Bill so we were doing brother Solomon and oh

my god I was on a yeah and I know what you're gonna say Bill's on a recumbent

bicycle okay and so so we got the scene it's me and and and and wig and he kept

having this thing and but Bob was so obsessed with Bill and he goes oh my

god body and Kristen wig is giving is she's giving a performance where she has

to cry yes she has to cry and give this emotional speech and the joke is that

while she's doing this the brother Solomon are watching me as this weird

guy in a recumbent bike well he he was Bob was being one of the brothers on

Christian was giving this amazing performance and he was like cut okay

Bill what you gotta do and she and our net was like hey Bob can we please

acknowledge what incredible acting work she was doing this amazing work and he

was like oh my god where did they find this thing did they invent this bike

this isn't real is it oh my god it was so crazy and was drawing on all this

past pain pain and Bob Bob obsessed with Bill and I just I really have

respected our net for being like hey can we just acknowledge and then you're

going to prison is another Odin Kirk film that was incredible that was a

good very first audition for a movie was a audition for some part in that

movie no way Bob and Bob I remember reading with him and he took my sides

away and he goes don't worry about these just talk to me really scared I was so

anxious I was so anxious because I was like he's a legend and the mr. show and

everything and I was I was so terrified and I never auditioned before and I did

the like by rote and a mirror like you know I did everything you know and what's

the most money what's the most money you've ever spent in one trip to trade

a job sorry about this bill on that while we're on food I want to I want to

hear about your peanut allergy when was the last time you had a real I want to

know when you had a real blow-up with peanuts how did you short said you know

usually people when they talk about their allergies it's so boring but when you

talk about it but what I do have a not allergy I do have a very bad how do you

know what happened my mouth gets it just happened to me it just happened to me

about a month ago I was entered I was doing it I was moderating Q&A with

somebody and we went and ate beforehand and I ate lasagna I'm at you know a

little Dom's and I eat lasagna and then suddenly my mouth goes numb and my

throat starts to go go up and I go on the bathroom and I see I'm getting a

rash on the side of my face and I go and so I ran in and there are people are

still talking and being going I go to the bathroom I ran down to there's like

Albertsons there something run inside find Benadryl take it in the aisle took

like three of them and then went back and I just I just I had no EpiPen so I

just did some Benadryl texted my doctor they were like okay you should be fine

okay we're gonna put in a prescription whatever and we were just figuring it

out and I end up still doing the what would nuts be doing in lasagna it was

vegan it was vegan vegan cheese it was cash I'm out okay it's not unusual in

Los Feliz for actors just to be taking drugs in the aisles about that is true

I was there was a bunch of other people and they're like you too man but now so

as I don't remember when we were at the Dodger game and I and I eat tons and

tons of peanuts I don't remember you getting nervous that I was near you

with peanuts yeah you're not one of those no no it's not like the dust or

something I have to like ingest it yeah yeah it's no fun no by the way by the

way Sean just very discreetly under his thing wrote down you just give me a

lasagna he's just wrote it that's just gonna have for like lasagna Garfield oh

no I'm free you know what you know what Sean said to me by the way the other day

this is totally true Jason I haven't told you this yet either Sean the other

day just goes you know what I had for breakfast this morning I had a pot

roast and I go what just out of the blue what yes with mashed potatoes and

then I had ice cream nine in the morning what are you being executed

you being executed I mean we were at a meeting the other day we were to meet

in the other day and they made us a cake this is a cake that has our

smartless pictures and names and stuff that was on the frosting on top just

like is a gift like a sort of ceremonial like here's a fun little thing

and and Sean left the meeting with the cake full cake no hang on a second

hang on a second walking out before the meeting started Sean cut into the cake

and started eating it at the table his own table 30 people they made a cake for

us why is that not a business meeting he was like well it would be rude not to

have a piece so he starts eating it and then he took it with him in his car but

he came down out of this cake with his own fucking face on it but he lives he

lives with his husband and a dog that's it you said you'd have half of it done

by the end of the week that's got his gut diabetes the cake so it's all

Sean Bill what's your current temperature no no Sean serious question

how much of the cake is left this is not yet that night he had more in that

morning the next morning right Sean five days later how much I kind of wanted it

done like if you're an adult and you have all the cake you can eat why wouldn't

you eat it right are you self-aware when that's happening Sean are you like this

you have guilt you have shame no good shame no you know what I think it is like

I just can't stop I think we grew up with nothing anytime anytime I'm like oh

my god free cake free cake tell me how much of the cake is left it's gone is it

really yes well that was a week that was you shit pig almost a week ago shit

pig yeah you just I get that I don't know I get it I get it I do get it where

it's like we're just gonna leave this here come on no there is a lot of that

and there's a lot of waste and final question how high can you jump if you

want to jump high how high by the way here's the other thing Bill you work with

our group with our old dear friend on Barry Henry Winkler oh yeah I love him

I love him Henry so sweet he's the greatest sweetest yeah he's always like

like you doubt his charity he's so does he still leave his ringer on on his phone

while you're rolling does he do that no no he doesn't we had we have a blooper

real this dedicated from the first couple seasons of a message to Henry's

phone going up in the middle of the scene it by the way usually during his

own dialogue so he'd be doing yeah be doing a courtroom scene going what do we

have to and then ring oh my god hang on he's like oh it's Stacy hold on Jason

we have a great blooper of Jason going go ahead and take that one just take it

or Henry he's so sweet Henry one time we were doing a thing and you know my

character fought in Afghanistan and three takes in a row he said Vietnam

my phone and when Barry was fighting in Vietnam that's not right hold on and then

every Friday it's like Henry that was a great take where you had to have a you

know mental breakdown that was really good he's like you got me there I have

this chocolate bunt cake from Jersey City in the trunk of my car he is just

absolutely the greatest amazing work and I think he gets very anxious about his

dramatic work but he's such a good dramatic actor and he really will go

where he need you know he's not afraid or whatever but it is funny how much he

he'll have that moment and then he you know turns it right on you know this

season especially goes through a lot of stuff but when he'll do that and then

yeah he'll offer you sweets such a talent you know he was one of the guys

when we were first doing a rest of development and I was living in New

York but coming out here to do it and I'd be oftentimes you know I was friends

with these guys a little bit but you know whatever I didn't have anywhere and

he and his wife Stacy would invite me over on Saturday mornings and I would

go over there and just you know have breakfast with him and with the family

all the time he was so sweet I love him I know they were so generous yeah we

pretty much every month go and have breakfast like once you know like and

it's and it's great and he is kind of like so how are you doing like outside

of everything how's your life how's this how's this feeling like he's just I

always walk away from those feeling you know better about myself you want to

grow up in his house well you remember back then back then it was like when

his son Max was still in high school yeah and and his best buddy was Jonah

Hill and those guys were still in fucking high school when I was there like

this is like 2003 like the fall of 2003 yeah and those guys were still in high

school him and Jonah and they were like oh man we love a rest of development and

they were they were like fucking 17 you know or if that so anyway it's 2003

Sean wanted to know have you ever had to put snow tires on

he just he texted that in he texted me he said just please ask I'm so glad you

got it in time that's a great question can you build because I'm such a massive

hammer I'm such a massive fan can you do just I know you're not a singing monkey

here we go can you do Vincent Price just a little bit because it's so fucking

funny I'm trying well the thing I remember the John Mulaney's first night of

writing at SNL he the Seth Meyers said oh we maybe should bring the new guy in

and help on Vincent Price and we were writing a thing and it was Fred would

play Liberace and I'm Vincent Price and we're arguing yeah and and we're arguing

as you do right still with you yep yeah so he's with you this is this by the way

this is this is in 2008 when people are still really excited with Vincent Price

and Liberace and as Lauren said I like to sketch but why now but Liberace and

they're talking and we're like oh what's that thing Vincent Price could say to

Liberace after he burns him or something and and and John Mulaney came up the

line save your sassia sides for your windowless bars

yeah Liberace was always him talking about like a prince who had given him a

jewel or something yeah there was always and anyway Jack Nicholson John Malkovich all of them I

fucking love all of them oh thank you very much yeah but the and then yeah that that line always

we were just like whoa but like what about that what it like are the is there ever going to be

another vehicle where we can see you do your impressions or is it just there's a chapter

closed bro yeah I mean I don't like Camel or something they'll be like like what I want to

Camel like not too long ago and you have me do all the dateline people right because I watched

dateline a lot so he's like just do all the dateline people so I did them and but yeah usually

it's like you're at a party or something and you know you know who loves impressions yeah yeah

Conan you know who loves impressions is Larry David yeah yeah he loves Shawn just did some work

with him lose his mind when you do an impression of anybody can you do Larry David

wait who would you who would you who would you who would you trust to do you oh man everybody

does probably sure I mean yeah I mean Fred does it really good me which is does he really his

impression of me everybody's impression of me is like hey then what's going on in spell and then

his impression means I've always just discovered a super famous band hey you know I started listening

to his Bruce Springsteen he's like you always walk into my office and you're like you know

he's like that almond brother's pretty good I'm just listening to them wait do do really quick

do Jack Nicholson watching dateline I don't know if I do Jack Nicholson oh really we're doing

doing to Jack Nicholson but you know oh you know who Larry David likes is uh Bert Lancaster uh

Bert Lancaster when he there's this this guy told me a story this made Larry David laugh really

hard was a guy worked for Bert Lancaster and he brought him some um chowder for lunch and he said

that Bert Lancaster looked in the bag and looked up and I mean he went oyster crackers you forgot

the oyster crackers

David makes me say that all the time he's like oyster crackers yeah if I got the oyster crackers

so well I think you know that's it's always fun I do it do it on set and it gets old fast no

actually nothing I've never had setups in between shots feel shorter than when I worked with you

on on paul you're you're just so fun to hang out with other guys you gotta do more of that yeah we

were do you remember when they blew up the house in paul yeah yeah and they said yeah you guys are

gonna stand right here okay and we went okay and then me and you were looking at each other and I go

you know what I want to go stand with a special effects guy it's the guy standing behind a barricade

where we were standing was a giant car or something land like massive debris landed where we were we

were like this isn't fun no yeah that was my god wait a second I love that you're telling us because

Jason doesn't remember and he by the way he he never would have told us that story never never

comes up no he also were you there when the guys made us drink uh uh jalapeno stuff I like but like

I think you're aren't you with us I might have been it was me and Simon Pegg and everybody and

they're like hey you guys are Hollywood people you know it was just like we were in New Mexico and

they were like oh these loud Hollywood people and they're like hey here drink a shot of this

and it wasn't it was pure jalapeno juice it's not alcoholic because I was like oh I don't drink and

they're like that's it was jalapeno juice and we had to run and get milk and stuff it was a way of

like get the fuck out of here maybe I was there that's starting to sound familiar that was like

that was like that was fun that was good let me tell you what was fun Bill was this chat

we could do two full episodes we haven't gotten into any of your of your incredible

voiceover work in all these animated films too I mean it's it's on and on and on you're an incredible

talent yeah multi-dimensional or whatever it is you're you're that and big big fan and a great

best well done good to see you dude good to see you guys man yeah man I'm calling you for dodger

game soon yeah please all right have a good day bud you but thank you bye bye bye bye

all right I don't think there's anything that guy can't do and that was funny stuff man that was

dramatic he acts writes directs produces uh high quality person friends I'm just kind of blown away

that he went on snl and then just had all those characters like what are the odds of yeah let's

take a chance on bill hater and then you got all this stuff inside yeah it's so funny he's always

got it's funny that he said that that he does that appropriation thing because it is you see that

like a nervous thing yeah where he's just like oh and he starts doing the voice while he's I do that

all the time with I'll take people's laughter I'll start laughing like them yeah for some weird

reason and that'll be like my new laugh for a few weeks really I think it's like a common human

thing I do find that I just yammer and yammer and yammer when I'm socially uncomfortable I will

I'll do the opposite of what you think you would do which is just shrivel and go into a corner and

be quiet I should just start talking I just start speaking whatever I'm thinking of in my mind yeah

I mean I see I notice you at parties and you kind of do on this I see you talking to somebody when

you're engaging with like another person and you're just talking at them and you're like

asking them and you're just fucking and they're thinking like oh at first they're like oh I get

such a chase of bait man and then they want to fucking kill themselves and they realize it's not

that great do you blah blah blah and you're like you're going but the question it's like the show

you're asking questions and you're leading and it's on and on I know and and I just you know

often they have a look of what I would describe only as disgust yeah my family kicked me out of the

house a couple days ago but you know what Jay you with all that work on your mouth that you've had

you're talking so beautifully and I'm glad you finally got that toothpicks which one was it called

I think it was a bye cuspid and then repeat it again and say it higher bye

cuspid look at will harmonizing I didn't love it it was too early well my god are you kidding

smart

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