No Such Thing As A Fish: 501: No Such Thing As Republican Barbie

Hi everyone and welcome to episode

501 of no such thing as a fish. Well, what do we have for you this week?

We have finished our summer live shows and we have loads of extra bits that I couldn't fit into the normal

15 minute to an hour episode of fish

Usually what we would do with those is we'd make them into a compilation and they would go for our club fish members

That's where all the compilations go these days

But seeing as they were the live shows that were coming to the end of summer and that we're all sleeping off our hangovers from

Episode 500 we thought we would put this up on our main feed

Now the thing is about these episodes is if you like the facts on fish

Then these are some of the best episodes for you because they are super concentrated of little nuggets of information

But there's loads of fun silly stuff in there as well

I really hope you enjoy it if you like your compilations, then you can become a member of club fish

You will also get ad-free episodes

You'll get other bonus contents such as drop us a line where we go through the mailbox and meet the elves where we meet some of our

Newer members of staff at QI. There's also stuff on there

It's well worth joining and you can join there by going to no such thing as a fish dot com forward slash apple or no such thing as a

Fish dot com forward slash patreon

Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this week's show

We'll be back next week with a normal episode, but for now it's on with the podcast

Please welcome to stage our buddy loose Anders everybody

Please welcome to the stage Rachel Paris everybody

Duker everyone

Fry

You're joined by nerd royalty ladies and gentlemen welcome to the stage Susie Dent

He is of course Greg Janet

Harriet Lloyd everybody, it's Jamie Morton everybody

Sally Phillips

Ella al-Shamahi everyone it is Richard Osmar

Have you heard there's a great anecdote which I've been trying to prove but it's I don't think it's true

I was

Actually, it's not true, and it's not relevant. Let's move on

Wow, we got that a lot quicker than normal didn't it was great

Usually I waste all our time, but I'm learning

That's bullshit. That's one of your best stories done

Quickly tell you guys about Alan bombard

Was a French doctor and he is very unusual because he's one of the only people in history ever to shipwreck himself

Okay, so this is amazing

There were lots of people at the time being you know lots of shipwreck sailors who were dying each year

Like when they're when their boats were shipwrecked and he wanted to prove that even if you had no food or water

There were there were ways you could survive. So he set off from the canaries

With a sextant a tarpaulin a fishing rod and a sealed box of food and water which he was going to try really hard not to open

The self-control he must have had he suffered terribly like

Yeah, he had no rain for three weeks and then storms snapped the mast of his dinghy

Swordfish approached his rubber dinghy nose first

I know that's cool 53 days later

He bumped into a ship and they said oh, yeah, you're still 600 miles off course for where you're going, right?

He had just become a father as well when he did this which I find

Like well at least I got some sleep

The length some people will go to

So

Amazing, but anyway, so he he then he got on board this ship which picked him up after 53 days

He had a small lunch of a fried egg

Then got back on his dinghy and kept sailing towards Barbados and he made it there in the end

He did it eventually, but yeah, I just think what a what a self-experiment to do that to yourself. Yeah, it's extraordinary

But why?

What's approved that apart from not to see your child and wife

I think they're taking 18 years to get them

Yeah, I think it was to prove what you could survive on if you could survive on fish or plankton

Which you you can do and you can do that without actually doing it. You could just say oh, I might eat fish today

There's my self-control right there in a tin of food you can't open

Just out of curiosity have we have we been eating and drinking from the wrong end this whole time

Would there be would there be certain things?

Well, because President Garfield was through his

Famously you've got a bit of your pipe left down

What better time to put it into practice a

Tutorial if you will I

Think if you have the option the mouth is a better option if we have no other option then the rectum is acceptable

Just fluids though, so I mean if you're trying to absorb lots of nutrients

Okay, you want then you know your stomach and your upper digestive system will do all that work

So so it is a plan B very much so and I'll still try it

I was looking at people who

Who died laughing this happened in 1920 and it was reported by an Australian newspaper called the Mudgee Guardian and Northwestern

Representative, okay, do you know it? Yeah? Yeah, that's my

It's about a man called Arthur Cobcroft and I'm really I'm reading directly

So mr. Arthur Cobcroft died at his home in Lofter Street Saturday

He was reading at this 1920

He was reading an old newspaper of a

1915 date and was comparing the prices of various commodities with those of today

When he suddenly burst into laughter at the great difference he appeared to be unable to control himself and eventually collapsed and died

Commodity prices

They must have been so different

I'm laughing thinking about it now

It's amazing because I reckon the cost of living crisis isn't that funny today

No, but for him, but if I say to you are like a Fredo used to be 10p

Careful yeah

I was reading about when something goes wrong on stage

And so that got me into a whole territory of if someone is hurt as they're acting

What do you do and I found this thing that apparently?

It's a huge problem for paramedics when they're called to help someone who's really injured

Who's in a zombie movie?

Because they arrive they have no idea who the patient is because everyone is bleeding everyone's got

Even if they find the person who's really injured themselves

They just can't tell where the wound is because the amount of well

I broke a rib being chased by a zombie once

Did you yeah, yeah, I was in London like one of these things where you pay to be chased by zombies

Yeah

It does sound a bit like I was like watching a lot of American football at the time and the zombie was coming towards me

And I thought I'd do some amazing dodges past him

And I got nowhere near past him and he kind of tagged me and pushed me into a wall and I broke a rib and

They we had to go to like the A&E and there were quite a lot of people who'd had similar problems

And it was just like you say it was like being in mash

It's just people with arms hanging off. You didn't know what was real and what wasn't yeah

I found out that Bungae in East Anglia has the highest number of satanists in the UK. Oh

Today now I'd like to take issue with that. Would you like to get his bolsover in Derbyshire?

How many has Bolsover got

17 in 2017 17 17 17 in Bungae

Okay, but it might be relative to population. I don't know how big Bungae is sounds tiny

This bolsover thing is from the census in 2011 where this was from the census

I bet it's is it a later census mine. Maybe I don't know

But the in Bolsover it was only 17 people who wrote satanist as their religion, but that was the highest per person

But highest concentration even Bristol only had 34 people who wrote satanist, but Bristol's huge

So the Google article I saw said

Bungae in East Anglia and then the next one was Bronzebury

London which had 20 so the big big

Beelzebub

The Beast yeah

There was a footnote that said they thought Bungae might might been doing it as a kind of tourist attracting thing

Because they've got a big black dog. I can't remember what it's called like a myth of a big black a satanic dog

It really came in. Yeah, and they're trying to push that. It's worked. I mean, we're all talking about Bungae all the time

Or did you know there's a pantomime horse arrest in Tesco's

When it was when it was found that the Tesco's budget brand everyday value burgers contain 29% horse meat

Yeah pantomime horse went to protest in Tesco's

Crying going mommy

And it was led away into the soft department and it was never seen again

Here's a good quick little tip if you meet someone who's Dutch and they say to you I fuck horses

They don't

Not necessarily you've got tip. Oh, I can't confirm for certain. Yeah, so is that Dutch does it sound okay means breeding?

Yeah, they breed horses. Yeah, and they supposedly was a story where the Dutch Foreign Minister was introduced to JFK

And he said hi, how are you so don't very good. Well, what are your hobbies? I fuck horses and

Why did he only say that one word in Dutch and the rest of it?

That's where I also questioned the anecdotes. Yeah, but it does stand I looked up the translation

Fok is for breeding. So yeah, again, you'd never hear that in that kind unless horses

I didn't look up horses and look up if they say that in Dutch

Should we move on?

So one person who did slightly pioneer the idea of living underwater it was Jacques Cousteau Jacques Cousteau you will probably

Know him. He's he's had the eclipso and he was one of the greatest ocean. Sorry. I don't you know the dance. No

You know the ice cream using it with a calypso. Yeah, he's one of the greatest

Oceanographers of all time and he kind of pioneered documentary making in the field of immersive and you follow a team and

The life aquatic by Wes Anderson is very much based on the story of Jacques Cousteau

But on a scientific level he also invented or co-invented the aqualung which is why we're able to go diving

So that was Jacques Cousteau and then one of the other things he did was this thing called the con shells

Which are the continental shells which were habitable zones down in the ocean and

Continental shelf to was this big-looking starfish kind of housing unit and he lived in it with his crew for a number of days

They had a parrot that came down and lived with them as well

Yeah, because that in a sort of slightly dark sense

It was like the canary in the mountain, you know

Something was wrong with the levels of oxygen okay parrot would know first and so they could get out of there

So he set a record for the longest anyone's been down there and then his son Fabian Cousteau

So he lived down there and held the record for the longest anyone's been under the ocean for quite a while

And then it got taken over by a professor and a student

But he invented the shark submarine. Have you seen this?

This is this is incredible. It's the submarine in the shape of a shark

So the idea is that he can observe sharks while being one of them. It's a one person submersible

No, he has to be in a diving suit while he's in it because water flows all the way through

He has to drive the submarine while laying down in the shark and his elbows are steering it as he goes

Why his elbows? What's to do with this? Sorry, he's not his elbows steering with his hands

Okay, thank you

He has a needless layer of complication for an otherwise flawless idea. He's on his phone, isn't he and he's just like

I was looking at in British elections, you know, there's that thing of always on election night a general election night

There's a kind of who gets their their ballot counted first and it's which constituencies or

Oh, it's usually like Sunderland versus Newcastle Sunderland and Newcastle and you mean like a race to get

Yeah, final result. I was reading about Sunderland's methods for ensuring they stay at the top of their game

Yeah, and they're amazing. So well, we're going with it's kind of a tradition now

And they've like they've done it. They've really gone into detail

So they hire bank tellers because they're very good at flipping through lots and lots of paper very quickly like individual bits of paper

They use lighter paper for their ballot sheets because it's slightly easier to count fast

So they switch from 100 GSM to 80 GSM

Yeah, they do obviously they do practices like they practice

they address rehearsals with the students who are running holding the ballot boxes and they

Say you're gonna be filmed. You're gonna be you need to be you know careful. You don't want to drop those that'll be a disaster and

The labor always wins in that constituency, right? I think they do. I think they always win

I guess they would yeah, but I remember like I always watch the election night and they all the results come in and I only

Stay up for Sunderland the Newcastle a hundred percent labor and then I go to bed

Always slightly disappointed when I wake up

You can get woolen coffins these days, I believe

A little price for anyone who can guess the headline that was used on the story announcing us in 2011

Take your time that you're allowed woolen coffins now. Yeah. Yeah as a cool woolen coffin that's been launched

Gonna have to hurry you

No, no, really, that's all no, let's all believe silent bits of podcasts a very popular anyone in the audience

This is too tough a quiz handy anyone

What was a burial is good famous phrase cozy bear went with

Rest in fleece

Not mine very nice

But lovely

Yeah, and you can be you can be buried in it or it can be cremated

It's the same either way you can get cardboard coffins wool coffins willow coffins banana leaf coffins

Or you can now be wrapped in a shroud as we used to be and there's a big movement a natural burial movement

Which is because there are so many

Horrible chemicals and a lot of funeral processes, especially if you are embalmed

It's very bad for the environment for your body to go into the ground full of chemicals

So if you have a biodegradable coffin, then you can be buried in like what in a natural burials

He's a field that someone's agreed to have people buried in can you get wicker?

Yeah wicker. Yeah, and you can also get one

It's made of like a mushroom fungus that will start to decompose your body faster

And this is really important I've talked before a big talk of planning your funeral and advanced care planning

It's big thing that you should write this down now. Otherwise, you're gonna get wrapped in that wool suit, right?

I just like to put it because this is being recorded and we'll go out

I do not want to be eaten by mushrooms when I'm okay

Do you want banana leaves or wicker or wool? I'll be putting a big wicker cage and burned by some

And probably some people be dancing around in white in the situation

That's gonna be an amazing podcast when it comes out

One of the suffragettes this was Anne Hunt she walked into the National Portrait Gallery and

She stopped in front of a portrait of Thomas Carlisle who's one of the founders

Painted by Millay and she slashed it

There's a really famous thing that she did

There was only one member of staff who was suspicious

It was a guy called David Wilson and the first time she walked in he wasn't that suspicious. He thought she was american

Apparently he thought she was american because she was looking so closely at the pictures

Apparently that's what americans do but then the second day she came back in again

And david wilson said that she couldn't be american because no american would have paid the six pence entrance fee twice over

So it's like that must be someone that's up to no good. Was she coming back?

Had she already slashed some of the first day? No, the first time she went in was to kind of

So there were lots of sort of famous incidents like particular flash points where for example

Mrs. Pankhurst was going to speak at an event and then and you know the police didn't want it to happen

And so that became a course celebrity. There was an event called the battle of glasgo

Oh, yes, yes

The mrs. Pankhurst was going to glasgo to speak and the police did not want her to appear. They didn't want her to speak

There were 50 police constables in the basement of the building where she was billed to appear

All the tickets have been sold, you know huge presents like people checking everyone on the door

Suddenly mrs. Pankhurst appears on stage out of nowhere and it turns out she just come in as a punter with a ticket

Sat by the platform and then gets up and starts speaking

So all the police start coming up from the basement because they're you know, they're activated

um

meanwhile

25 of the suffragette bodyguards get their clubs out and start trying to beat the police up

Yeah, you know, so you've got 25 suffragettes with clubs 50 policemen with their truncheons

One of the suffragettes shot a policeman in the chest point blank with a blank bullet

So it wasn't it was just a kind of surprise rather than

I hope she said that

I'm so sorry. Are you okay? It was my fault and then plainclothes detectives

Trying to get onto the platform when mrs. Pankhurst is still speaking at this point

She's still delivering her speech the plainclothes detectives are trying to climb onto the platform

It turns out the floral garlands all the way around the platform are barbed wire. They've been disguised

I know

There are old ladies now beating the police with their umbrellas as they're trying to fight the truncheon

We're like it just sounds like an insane scene. Who's listening to the speech at this point?

Weird moment today, I was researching crisps and I found out in japan at the moment

There's a trend that's going on and then it turns out this is going global now to eat crisps using chopsticks

So that you don't get the oil on your fingers as you are

Doing the other work that you're doing right if you're eating

So I was literally eating a bag of crisps as I was researching that fact

And my fingers absolutely were sticky on the on the uh, the mac uh, sort of mouse bits, you know, like

Oh, the keypad. Yeah. Yeah, the keypad. No, they're like the you know, the hand mouse thing the keypad. Yeah

Well, the keypad's the mouse and the mouse

The tracker the trackpad

The track pad

Gosh, it's like living in the future, isn't it?

I found myself reading a piece about historical novels by a writer called

James Forrester, I just want to quote from this article. He wrote about 10 years ago and listen to this

He was he because he reads a lot and he I think he wrote historical novels, too

One highly acclaimed and commercially successful recent historical novel had on page three the statement that there were no priests within a three day ride

Taking into consideration the time of year and the location of this statement. I calculated that there were between five and eight thousand priests

Wow within a three day ride in that year

I could not carry on reading

Stop the podcast stop the podcast

Hi everyone, we'd like to let you know that this week we are sponsored by

Squarespace

Yes, Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that means you can stand out

Build a website a gorgeous successful one. It just makes it super convenient and easy and simple and fun

Yeah, absolutely. I once studied computer programming and oh, yeah, I did it for about a year and at the end I managed to make

Tic Tac Toe

But if I wanted to make an entire website using that skill

I probably would struggle and that's why something like Squarespace is so important because it's so easy to use

If you want to be blogging on your website if you want to do email campaigns

If you want to see your analytics if you want to sell things using an online star

Squarespace has all of these tools that are just available with a click of a button

That's right. And james is tic-tac-toe

World is is actually going online soon. It's got videos of some of the great

Noughts and Crosses games in history. That's something that Squarespace provides. It's brilliant

And I'm also available on tic-tac tic-tac-toe

If you would like to see little videos of tic-tac

Look, what am I talking about?

Squarespace is a place to go if you have an actual real life website that you would like to make

And the best way to do that is to go to squarespace.com

Fish because when you do that you can get 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain

And the way you do that is by using the code fish

That's right

You can get a free trial at squarespace.com and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com

Slash fish and you will save 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain

You won't be left feeling like it's all been for naught and you won't be left feeling cross

Brilliant do it now. I'm with the podcast

I'm with the show

Children are quite weirdly good at lying so or rather they're good

So adults are very bad at telling when children are lying. This is the thing

And the reason for that they can only work it out about the same as

Guessing on at like 54 percent of the time so not much better than chance really and the reason for that

There are lots of experiments and it's because adults assume that children

Lie like adults do and they assume that children's faces

Move in the same ways that adults do but basically there have been a load of experiments

Which assumed that children are not proficient liars and in fact the problem is that children just look guilty quite a lot at the time

Like because you talk to a young child though. They might divert their eyes. They might fidget. They might be incoherent

They look they look like they look like they're hiding something

And that's so adults think they're lying when they may or will not be so yeah

I think I look permanently guilty. It makes me a bad liar

But it also makes me a really bad truth teller

That's the problem because I look like I'm lying whatever so any lie I tell I'm going to get cortex

I look like I'm lying and any time I tell the truth. No one believes me because I look like I'm lying

It's very difficult

That's why I have to have the computer in front of me on point this

One of the reasons that we have x as the x-men and their

x-ray and stuff like that is because daycar

Um used x to mean an unknown in algebra. Yeah, wasn't it?

He decided to use x y and z and the story goes that the reason he did it is because the printer

Who was doing his books and I got loads of x's y's and z's left over because no words have x's in them

So I might as well use them

But it turns out that because he's french actually x is quite a common

Relatively common in french and it might have been because they just had lots of x's because x is quite common

But yeah, but without those without daycar. We might not have the x-men

We might have the a-men or the or the b-men or whatever. Oh, wow, and we wouldn't have the c-men

Tweets

Probably not

So I was I was looking into things that are named after people and I was thinking I was reasoning that there must be something

Which is the most famous thing that people don't know is named after a person

So we've said before like

Shrapnel is named after a bloke who was called general Henry Shrapnel or something

I think we said that nachos were named after a guy called Ignacio

Exactly, and I so we've done a few of these before and like the cardigan

Do people know it was named after the seventh Earl of cardigan?

Okay, that is known because I read an article claiming that he was wearing one while he led the charge of the light brigade

I thought that can't that can't be right. There would have been a uniform because it feels too. Yeah, maybe

Well like pushing his merch during war

exactly

Yeah, I mean, yeah, it is named after him, but yeah, I think and it was during the battle of balaclava

That's the thing that people don't know. Yeah, and the cravat go back to croats because croats were those and

Slaves were slavs

I mean, that's all that's not quite eponyms. There's the kind of toponyms, but and and I'm really sorry to always lower the tone

But you know that bugger

Is actually a riff on bulgarian because there were these bulgarian sex in the 11th sex in the 11th century

They were supposed to get up to strange sex. So that's where bugger comes. Wow. Yeah, that's kind of topping in there. Isn't it really not an eponym?

I think

Strictly speaking

In 1996 the swedish navy admitted that they had found a huge amount of evidence of russian submarines operating in their waters

Right really serious, you know post cold war threatening security environment

And there had been 6 000 incidents a huge number reported from 1981 to 1994

It turns out that what they had been hearing was largely

Otters splashing

Playful otters splashing in the water

There were about one in a thousand claims was likely to be a submarine and the rest was just random

They also, um, they found out that it was farting fish as well, didn't they? Yeah, Harry

Farting fish farting. Yeah, they communicate by farting in fact

We have this fact our qi which is herring communicate by farting

Yes, and we tweet it about once a year just so that everyone tweets richard herring to go. Oh, I didn't know you

He hates us

I can imagine

So the thing I want to mention about protests is to do with another quiz show which is mastermind

And the first question ever was about protests and it was about a painting by Picasso

Which was a protest about the bombing by spanish planes on a village and the question was

What year when the event took place was the inspiration for the painting?

The answer was 1937

The answer was 1937, but the question was about german planes not spain

So the first ever question on mastermind was in caress

Yeah

So how shit is mastermind?

I just think I just feel like it's qi and countdown on stage together. Let's shit on someone

What do you reckon soothe this shit? Yeah, let's get some headlines. That's it. Yes. Wait

Oh, I don't want to diss any of this. Oh, yeah, that was vicious. Um

Just on religion while we're there, um, there's been a few naked religions in the past

So the adamites

They were a sect in north africa in the second third and fourth centuries

That used always worn no clothes during the religious ceremonies

The idea being that they were going back to the garden of edam before we had clothes and this was the best way to get close to god

Now it became big again in the chet republic in check here in 14th century

And people who were adamites then would go naked through the towns and villages

So they would everyone take their clothes off and they would go through the town saying come and join our gang

You know, we're the we're the closest to jesus conga. Basically you're describing a naked conga

Sure, let's call it a naked. Well, they did do a lot of naked dances

They would have a fire and they would do naked dances around it

And the idea was that they rejected a lot of the things in the catholic church

And a lot of people think that they were like the precursors to the protestant revolution

So it was like, you know, they was the first people really to kind of go against the church

And then it kind of built up and built up in central europe

But it carried all of the crumble trimmed a lot of that stuff away. Didn't he before it came up with puritanism

Yeah, sorry and then it carried on and in the early us

They had some adamites there and I was reading about one clergyman who was writing about them and he said

About these people who were in church and were naked the whole time

If the planets of venus reigned in their lower parts making them swell for pride or rather for lust

Then the clerk with his long stick shall strike down the presumptuous flesh

So basically

If you yeah, you would yeah

And he said that on one occasion there was a woman who made a congregation member rise in such an

Unmeasurable manner that the old clerk was forced to use both hands to elate his courage

At which the prophesier was in such pain that the whole house could not hold him and he said he would kill the clerk

And basically this guy just started whacking his genitals with his stick

He attacked that guy and basically they only just stopped him from killing the clerk

But this guy said he wasn't bothered because it was in church

God will look after him and it didn't matter if he killed the clerk because it was naked. It would all be fine

It feels like we feels like pants is just easier, isn't it?

So burrowing out they have lots of piles of poo outside the nest and it's cow dung and bison dung and all of this

And then they just stand by the poo

And wait they just go into kind of sentry position and just stand there looking very still

And what scientists reckon is that they're fishing for dung beetles

Oh freshish dung and dung beetles are really interested in burrowing out love eating the the dung beetles

And so they'll just stand and wait and let the dung beetles approach. Isn't that crazy? They're basically they're basically fishing

Like they're land fishing. Yeah. No, I got it. Yeah. Yeah

I try to find a uh, if there was another naughty barbie, you know

Kind of like the origins of barbie being a cool girl and I managed to find one which was the pole dancing barbie

This was a one-off because it was part of a thing in japan called hebbocon

Which was you know, like robot wars. This was anti robot wars

This was a robot wars where everyone's

Negotiations. No, no

You you have robot summit

robot model u.m

You had to bring a very bad robot basically it had to be terrible

And so the worse it was the better you got in the competition

Okay, you were so there were 31 entrants and barbie doll that was entered was a attacking

Through pole dancing barbie, but the other ones that it went up. How did she attack you with a pole dance?

Did she spin round and kick you in the head?

I think so because I couldn't find any photos because this was in 2013 and I think

So no, so it's you know, it was a small thing that happened in japan

The winner was a robot that was so sturdy that no one could knock it over

So it just stood so the other things walked into it. Okay, that's the best one was the uh, the person who got a special

Acknowledgement was one person a lady who accidentally left her robot on the train and then just went for a beer instead

And they were like that level of shitness is so great

We want to commend you with a special honor there. That's awesome. Yeah, pole dancing barbie

The only one time in a anti robot war japanese competition hebbocon very cool. Yeah, there is a thing called the bubble babba challenge

This is at the voxki river in russia. So it's near st. Petersburg. Uh, and it's a race

Kind of a rafting race, but instead of a raft you have a sex doll

It began in 2003

Anyone's allowed to enter but you have to have a compulsory alcohol test before you start

Oh, yeah, we don't want to we don't want to make this seem tawdry or unprofessional

And in 2006

That guy riding the sex doll down the river's had a shandy

The most exciting of the bubble babba challenge

Sex doll races was in 2006

So all the races jumped into the water

And there was a really really strong wind and that meant that almost all the sex dolls blew away

And so you just got all these rushing mostly guys in the water just sort of without their sex dolls

And there was only one person the guy called osipov who reached the finish line

But he was disqualified

Because the jury had noticed signs of recent sexual activity on the doll

Which was very much banned

I've got another we've got another barbie thing. Okay barbie is uh, officially

Not part of any political party, right? So there's a

Various reasons for that. She's been a presidential candidate at every election since 1992

Much like hillary clinton

Um, not fair. Um, but she got in a she got in a beef with donald j trump

Barbie and donald j trump had a had a beef at the last election

Okay, because donald j trump tweeted there's a thing called voto barbie and it's doing courage. What do you keep saying j in his name?

Oh, sorry. That's his junior. I'm talking about donald trump junior. Okay, cool. I believe. Yeah. Yeah, okay

Could be the senior. I mean, they're both such they're both such different

Yes

Well, I don't know who I don't know which of them said this. I think it was junior, but basically one of the trumps

Uh tweeted voto barbie must be a democrat because she's already wearing an eye voted sticker

And yet she's got another ballot in her hand

And matel had to reply barbie is not and never has been affiliated with a political party

To an official statement saying she's not a democrat. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I think she is though clearly clearly

Can I tell you one more dueling method that happened? Yeah

So basically the you know the thing about you turn back to back and then you walk and then you there

There are various different methods in different countries. What ten paces turn around shoot. Sorry. Yes. So the back

That's french basically. Um, and there is a much more fun variant which has another french name is called avalante

You face each other. Can we do the fun?

There was people really relished it, you know

A certain kind of person really seemed to enjoy it

So there's a variant called avalante where you face each other, right and you start walking towards each other

Oh, either of you can fire whenever you like, but if you miss

You have to stand still and wait for the other

Guy to shoot right. I know and that feels tense

I thought you were gonna say that you're standing right in front of each other and then you walk backwards away from each other

And then you're just hoping someone's not kneeling down behind you

That's amazing really god

It used to be in the olympics denit pistol dueling. Yeah 1906

It was one of the categories. It wasn't a medal one, but you would you would

So it was it was a thing that was done there because the winner would be dead. Yeah

Just I'm gonna put a silver medal on it

But that would be the there was like an intercalary games wasn't there in 1906

It wasn't the main game and they used wax bullets and the idea was you would just see who got hit first

And you had the sort of glass plate that was over your face and but it was done as a proper thing with spectators around and everything

Yeah, it was very exciting

Have we said before that I think nasa found the oldest known rock the oldest known earth rock was on the moon

And then brought back to earth. Yes, and then it was called big bertha was the name of the rock

Um, was it yeah, it was yeah, they named it after a I think a gun from the first world war

So they brought that back and it was the first earth meteorite ever found on another body as in the first

Like meteor out if you like, you know the first like bit of earth that it hit somewhere else

Wasn't that the moon created when uh an asteroid hit the earth in those little splash so they say so they say yeah

I'm not sure I buy it. Yeah

Pigs already didn't happen. There's actually a strong theory that it is hollow

so

Is this the moon cave theory

That's it. Oh, yeah, I haven't heard it called that before but yeah

I suppose yeah, because supposedly when you hit it it rings like a bell

So is it artificial? Is it real? You mean when a meteorite hits a knife you just go?

Yeah, no when they did drilling on the moon they they they specifically tried to find out because you can do

You can do well

You can do seismic tests on the moon to see what the composure is on the inside right and it was completely empty apparently

And so yeah

I'm joking Hannah. I'm joking. I promise. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Have you ever been in a diamond mine in your adventures, Hannah?

No, I haven't. I wonder what that's like. Hmm

I see we've run out of facts and entered speculation territory

God

And you've mentioned oscar the hypnodog before on the podcast. Can you remember what that was oscar the hypnodog was a

Labrador who was a hypnot who was hypnotically trained

And went and like went missing and there were signs put up all over the country saying do not look at this talk

Is that it? That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Basically

He's dangerous

We have mentioned that but what I'd never heard before was about puffy the hypnocat

Amazing

Puffy the hypnocat was in the 1940s in america

There was a guy who owned a bar and he said that puffy was sitting on the end of a nightclub bar

And a couple of girls came up to him and I didn't really pay attention what happened

But suddenly a girl was simply out on her feet. She simply wasn't from drinking

I'm something of a hypnotist myself

And I realized she was in a hypnotic trance and it turned out that this cat had been hypnotizing people

in this guy's bar

And he started then training the cats to stare at people really really fixedly to try and hypnotize them

And puffy became really really famous and in 1945 the american feline society called her the king of all cats

Because she was bringing in money for war bonds

So you would go into the bar and you would pay some money to be hypnotized by the cat

And then you know, they get the money for the war

And by the end of her life, she was credited with hypnotizing over 300 people

Always for benign purposes. I just well I spent all my money on tinned tuna

It's so weird

Just left it open around the place probably probably nothing

And you Hannah, you're such a skeptic. You probably don't even believe that story's true

Actually that one I'm really behind

One of us on this panel might be slightly harder to hypnotize than the other three. Oh, okay, can we guess who?

um

Is it dan because of his dubious questioning techniques?

Not dan because of his dubious questioning techniques

I feel like Hannah with her skepticism. It's not Hannah with her dubious skepticism thing

Is it handy with his lack of ability to talk to people at parties?

It's not me with my lack of ability to talk to people at parties

Is it james for being so fucking judgmental about the other 30 people on the panel?

It's james, but not for that reason not for that reason it's because so james you have aphantasia, right?

Oh, right. Okay. So james can't you say what it is? I just can't picture things in my head can't picture things in your head

Yeah, and that might make it harder to hypnotize you. It's there was a well

This is from the uk hypnosis convention, which sounds amazing last year's events included recreational erotic hypnosis

Uh, and aphantasia. What is it and why should we even care?

Slightly barbed

But I don't know much time we got I got very deep in the weeds on people who want to be heroes and do bad stuff

Oh, yeah, yeah

You heard of the hero complex

No, no, so it's not quite a psychological disorder. It's not in the diagnostic manuals, but it's like talked about by psychologists

It's a thing where it's sometimes known as a vanity crime where people are desperate to be the hero

So they'll do something bad so they can then rescue people like I'd mug you but then beat myself up

Yeah, exactly

Exactly that and hand yourself in I guess is the idea. Yeah. Yeah, but I rough myself up a bit first

Do I stop that a bit of a lifetime?

But like there's there's quite a lot of case studies the really famous one in 1984 an la pd police officer called

Jimmy Wade Pearson

He heroically discovered and diffused a pipe bomb on an airport bus carrying the Turkish Olympic team in LA

And people saw him running down like the airport holding a pipe bomb dismantling in it and throwing over his shoulder and shouting

Get out, you know, like proper like bruce willis stuff and it turned out he had planted it there

Because he wanted to be the hero because he wanted to transfer into a different department and his boss hated him

And he thought the only way I'm getting out is if I get a commendation

And he failed the polygraph and he ended up with 1500 hours of community service and it became a bit of a thing

But everyone was like, all right. Well, no one was hurt fair enough, but then there's some really bad ones

So there's a thing called firefighter arson, which is a serious problem. Oh, yeah

Yeah, yeah, there are 100 firefighters every year arrested for arson

In america alone. There's a million firefighters. So it's a tiny statistic, but a hundred people

Most of them are young men aged 16 to 30. I read a whole report issued in 2003 by the u.s. Government's national fire administration

I got very deep

There are six primary motives excitement

vandalism

revenge profit political terrorism hiding evidence of a crime and

It's a really big problem for a small subset

And there's a guy who's a tenancy fire chief. He's set fire to his own fire station

Oh

Wow, he caused the three-quarters of a million dollars of damage and when released he then set fire to a car dealership

And he did it for the sexual thrill. This is why we need pawn hub

Yeah, sexual sexual for the sexual thrill. He got off on the uniting the worst ones john oar

He was from glendale fire service in california in 1991 was found to have planned eight arson attacks on shops

And was suspected many more. He killed four people in these fires. It's really really horrible

His main job at the glendale service

chief arson investigator

Work half a story and so they tailed him for months and every time there was a fire

Investigating conference there would be fires in the local area

And he was possibly alleged to have set 2000 fires

Making the most prolific american arsonist on record

But one of the clues that they detected about him is that he had written a novel about a fireman who sets fires

Ah

It's like a serious thing and

I'm so sorry to get stuck on this, but I then watched fireman sam with my four-year-old daughter

Oh, yeah, does he do that? Hang on a second for sexual thrills. No

I work for cbbs. I don't want to get cancelled

But like I realized fireman sam he he's in charge of a tiny tiny village called ponty pandy

But he's got a fire truck a rescue tender a four-wheel drive suv within built animal rescuing crane a quad bike

An amphibious vehicle a hovercraft two helicopters and a mobile command center

This guy is playing the game like he's clearly setting fires that get like a huge budget

Um, can I just say one thing about george burnard short very quickly? Yeah, he he had uh, you're I'm saying it wrong. Am I? No

Like bernard is also in there. It's gay. Org. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah

Just I've never heard it but like george bernard. Yeah, oh george bernard. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay, george

I'm cool. Whatever. Hey, wait. It's all cool here. It's late night at the soho. Yeah

Taking each other up on pronounce. I'm gonna go home going. Oh, there was this mad fucking fight about how to pronounce bernard

Oh, man, you got to see fish live

Sorry, I'm sorry

Um, no, so, um, he used to have a riding shed, which was amazing

He used to he lived in heritford sure and he had a riding shed which was basically on a lazy susan

He liked to chase the sun

So he would get in the sun would be beaming right in which was a big thing for him because he had specific glass

Which is in the shed windows that kind of beamed

Concentrated light in a way that it was meant to be healthy. It was thought to be a healthy. He was always on fire, wasn't he?

Burnhardt

Tell you a bit about milk floats. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for one thing milk doesn't float

Oh

Oh, that's yeah, if it's food for thought isn't it? Yeah left on water it will sink

So, um

No, but if you mix it

It's oh if you mix it if you mix it. Yeah, that's yeah, that's not that wasn't the terms

I was anyway, look at the point milk floats to aug.uk has an faq page and it's one of the like it's a very it's a

Gorgeous website milk floats dot org dot uk. I cannot recommend it enough and the faq page begins

All right, maybe they are not exactly frequently asked, but

They might be the kind of questions people might ask given the opportunity

It's so nice

So good

Yeah, uh, you want to do a quick game of is it bigger in europe or america? Oh, yes, I do

Okay, what year?

2023. Oh, wow. Okay. So where would you find the world's biggest dump truck?

Dump truck

USA america

That's that's a mark of pride. I'm afraid not it's in belleras in europe really

Yeah, the belleras 757 10 which can move the equivalent of 1000 whale testicles in one go

That's that's my comparison. That's not on the appetizer

That's how you measure trucks

I think we all know that

The world's largest log jam

So that's when you have a load of logs in a river and they get stuck. And so where is it? Europe or america. Oh america

Well, I was tricked last time. So I'll I'll say Europe this time. Well, you've been tricked again, andy

It's in none of us in canada

And the interesting thing about that is that it's about 20 square miles of log jam

And it goes deep as well

And the logs store enough carbon to run 2.5 million cars for a year. Wow

That's interesting. Sorry. Is that a

Is a genuine question. Is that logs that have been cut by humans?

No, it's they usually are like knocked down by wind and stuff like that and they fall into the river and they go down the river

And then there's like a little sort of point where they can't get out and then they just jam and jam and jam and jam

And it's a really good way of hiding carbon

And then finally the world's biggest barometer

Europe or america Europe. I think I own I think I have that in my home

You've got a massive barometer andy. Yeah

Don't boast

It's a famous barometer. Is it? Oh god

It's one you see every day on tv on tv every day. Is there a barometer connected to big ben?

It's good. If there is I don't know about it. Oh, wow, but it is in Europe. It is in Europe. It is on shepherds bush roundabout

It's

Oh, yes, we all too. Sorry. We all tune in every morning for five minutes

Just watch the live feed of shepherds bush roundabout

I don't get on with our days, don't we? You know

There's check what the pressure's like

What it's um, no, it's it's a huge barometer

It was built as a barometer. It no longer works as a barometer. It's currently covering up a big pipe

by

London water

But that building was what inspired the score column in the tv show pointless

Inspired by the world's biggest barometer

These are easy. I'm surprised you haven't got any of these. Yeah, yeah

Do barometers do they do they go up or down? I can't remember now pens which way you hold them

Yeah, okay, but they can go up right and what the weather's doing. Yeah, it's just weird because when you said big ben

I suddenly had this image of the the um

The mercury going up in a barometer, right?

And it's suddenly because I was at a fair the other week and my son did that strongman thing where you hit it

It has to hit the bell

Do you think there's anyone strong enough in the world that if that thing had to hit the bell of big ben?

That they could hit it hard enough. No, so let's move on

Um

One thing I do know about eti is that um, there's a lot of rhesus stuff in there, right? Oh rhesus pieces

Rhesus pieces, which is like an american candy. Yeah, but it was huge for them

So the sales went up like 65 the next week just after it been in this movie

And the interesting thing about that is that they weren't the first choice

If you look at the original scripts all of the bits where it says rhesus pieces

It was originally going to be m&m's

But apparently mars turned it down because they didn't want to be associated with aliens

They're called

I've got some stuff on dropping things from parachutes

Okay, this is uh about a place called franz star ranch and brothel in navada

And I'm in

They had an idea of a an advertising campaign

Where they will put a mattress in the middle of an airfield

And if anyone could parachute to land on the mattress

Then they would have a chance to spend the evening with any of the women in the brothel

It didn't go very well

The problem was that all the women would stand

Near to the near to the place where people had to land

And the guy flying the aeroplane not that high could see everything that was happening and got completely distracted

There was also some side wins

And long story short he crashed the plane. Oh, no

Everyone was fine. Oh no one died and the great

Great moral of the story in the end is the crash plane was so good for business that they decided to leave it there

And it's still there in navada. If you ever see that crash plane next to the brothel

Is the

I've never been to navada

Well now I think you have

Wow, isn't that an amazing idea for advertising. Yeah. Yeah, it's an amazing idea

Sorry, how low was the plane when he got distracted? It was quite low, but high enough the parachutes would work

Yeah, so that's quite high for a pilot to be like

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just like a little stick woman on the ground. Exactly. Check out the I think arms

On her maybe arms

No, it's a treat. That's a treat. Okay. Yeah, that's okay

Do you know that john major and tina turner were born on the same day?

Why? Yeah, really? That's cool. Yeah, if my memory is I didn't actually write that wow, that's off memory

That's off memory. Yeah. Wow. All right. Once you hear that you're gonna forget that Mary

I think you know everyone who was born on the same day as john major

classic Andy

In february 2020. Yeah, there was a poll by the center of public opinion. This is in the united states

It was ahead of the primary in new hampshire

And they asked a load of voters

What they would rather and they found that 64 percent of democrats would rather see a giant meteor strike the earth

Extinguishing all human life than see president trump reelected

Do you know, um, there's been a sequel to phantom of the opera andrew. Lloyd Webber's phantom the opera. Okay

Uh, yeah, it was it was written by ben elton and it was music by

Andrew Lloyd Webber. Okay, but it was delayed for months in the writing process because of cats

The musical

His real-life cat he had a kitten who stood on his digital piano and wiped out all the music that he had done

In the writing of it, which just feels god bless that kitten

There was a group of secret operatives from britain called the choir boys

And they came up with a plan during world war two to drive hitler mad by air dropping huge amounts of pornography into his compound

Oh, wow

In the end they kind of slightly, you know, they came up with the idea

They started going for him. They thought, you know, this is just stupid

And so they called off the whole whole idea

But not before and I quote the group had amassed an enormous collection

of suitable material

I made an invention once talking of cars and weeing

Wow, that is a hell of a vendal grander. I don't think

No, it's it's it's the I forgot the name. It's a really good name

But basically you can piss and drive

It was all in the name, which I can't remember my great invention

Oh, what's wrong with the piss and drive?

It's not as romantic. No, let's see. Let's see. So it's the idea that you just you don't have to stop off

Yeah, if you can't like I can't start my car a lot of the time

So it's annoying having to stop. It's brand new as well. It's an electrical fault. I think anyway

So I don't want to stop in case I can't start it again. So many people would get the electrical fault mended

But I I prefer what you've done engineering system where you never

Does the urine get utilized? I'm thinking screen wash. Yeah, yeah, that would work. Well, what it's just what it's mostly water

I'm wondering if it's you pissing all over your electrics and then stopping in the car from functioning

to begin with

In norway if you are a fish

Um factory and you're kind of getting the whole the fillets out

What you'll do is you get the rest of the fish and you throw it away into a little area with all the heads and stuff like that

In that area

Children are allowed to go in and they cut out the little tongs of the cots and they sell them for extra pocket money

And this is a really common thing in a place called Lougherton

Um and from about six years until 17 you'll get loads of kids who'll just go in

Grab the fish and they'll cut out this little tong in the back and apparently it's the tastiest part

And do you think they turn out to be psychopaths like serial killers and psychopaths?

Yeah, unfortunately in that area. There is a lot of debt. No, there isn't

Um, do you want to know some other things that people are scared of singers?

Yeah, sure. Yeah, I wrote some dance. I thought I'd do some work after you told me I was getting paid

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot to tell you that until yeah quite late in the day

Um, but thank you for bringing your one sheet of

It wasn't very much I'm getting paid so it is just fitting. Um, wait till you hear them

Adele is scared of seagulls. Who would have thought?

Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Um, there's more

Rihanna's scared of fish

Okay, and Kylie Minogue is scared of coat hangers. She's scared of coat hangers. Yeah, Kylie Minogue and I'm scared of commitment

So we're all different aren't we? How many different types of wrestling do you think there are in Iceland?

One type of wrestling. Unlucky. There are two types of wrestling

But they do have the same name so I can see why you got that. That's what I was thinking

It's called glima and basically there's two types and they're quite similar

But one of them is a type of wrestling that you would do as a viking

If you came home after a long day doing whatever vikings do and you wanted to warm yourself up

They would just do some wrestling

Who with? With another viking

It's wholesome, right? Yeah, there was another one which was the dueling version

And it was quite similar but it would take place in a field with a large flat stone known as the slaying slab

And that one you would try and slam your opponent onto the slab and break the back

Wow, and the amazing thing about this is they were going to have it in the 1912 stock home olympic

I think probably the first version not the second one

And then the war happened and so the olympics got postponed

And in 1920 they were going to do it. Anyway, you know, they've decided, okay

We'll keep all the same sports

But Iceland decided that it only had a certain number of wrestlers

And it needed them to impress the king of Denmark who was visiting at the same time as the olympic games

And so they decided we're not going to do this wrestling after all

We just want to impress the king of Denmark

So it never became a worldwide sport that it might have done otherwise

And then in the end the king never came

There was a shanty not a shanty but a sea song when you were getting your grog

So you would get your the amount of alcohol you were allowed each day

They would give it you and they would sing while they were doing it

And it was a song called Nancy Dawson

And it's the tune that we now know as here we go around the mulberry bush

But it was all about Nancy Dawson who was a stage sort of performer an actress possibly a prostitute

And the I'm not going to say what the words are to the navy song about her

Are they rude?

They are very rude

I think they say sex worker now do you?

They're meant to be quite easy, weren't they because you couldn't like not a sex worker

Sorry, no, no, no

It depends how good you are at singing

I meant the songs to sing

Because like some people can't sing names of registered competitive roller derby players include

skate bush

venus thigh trap

And weird al spanker bitch

I sort of thought what's like the rudest name that you can get to so I looked up the cun t word

And I was heading down that way but on the way I discovered the clit word

And again, do you know how to say that?

Go on go on dad give us one clite

Okay, well in the clit you've got uh clitastrophe. Oh, yeah, please welcome to the ring clitosaurus rex

Clitler is about to enter the ring

And who's this coming up there a clitty-clitty bang bang

That's really good

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.