No Such Thing As A Fish: 480: No Such Thing As President Muffler

Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of No Such Things as a Fish.

First things first, let me tell you about our very, very, very special guest and that

is Phil Dunster, the brilliant actor who plays the character Jamie Tartt in the unbelievable

TV show Ted Lasso and I don't know if you've watched Ted Lasso, if you haven't it's definitely

worth checking out.

It's on Apple TV right now, they're about to show the final episode and if you don't

have Apple TV I'm pretty sure you'll be able to get a free trial somewhere and it's well

worth it.

There's loads of good stuff on there but especially Ted Lasso is such a good show.

Phil actually does listen to fish so he came well prepared with loads and loads of facts.

It was such a fun show to record and we all had such a great time.

Few more little bits of news.

We have some live shows coming up in the Soho Theatre in London, there are still tickets

available for that although some of the dates are now sold out so you want to get in there

really quick to get tickets for that and those tickets can be found at knowstichthingsafish.com

forward slash soho and apart from that join up to clubfish, there's loads of fun stuff

happening there all the time, there's bonus episodes, there's a discord where you can

chat to fellow fish fans, you'll learn about live tickets first, there's all sorts of bonuses

for signing up to that so do that and apart from anything else if you're listening in

a place where you can follow knowstichthingsafish then do that.

We taught some industry bots the other day and they said that it is very important that

you click follow if you like us anyway enough about that really hope you enjoy this show

with Phil I'm absolutely certain you will and all I can say is on with a podcast.

Hello and welcome to another episode of knowstichthingsafish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the

QI offices in Hoburn.

My name is Dan Schreiber, I am sitting here with James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray and

Phil Dunster and once again we have gathered around the microphones with our four favourite

facts from the last seven days and in no particular order here we go.

Starting with fact number one, that is Phil.

My fact this week is that the Shakespeare's Globe Theatre is the only building with a

thatched roof in London since the great fire of London in 1666.

Very cool.

Andy is very excited right now.

That's so exciting.

Thatched roofs?

Are you kidding me?

That's your thing.

Is it a fetish?

No, I wouldn't say fetish.

Would you like to have sex underneath the thatched roof?

Everyone's got a bucket list.

Anyway look, the Globe Theatre, sorry.

So what's the story, what's going on?

So Andrew Hunter Murray had sex inside the Globe Theatre because it had a thatched roof.

It was fascinating.

It was made, it was originally built in Shoreditch, it's called the Burbage Theatre in 1576 and

the land was owned by this bloke called Giles Allen and when the lease on the theatre came

up he didn't want to renew it and so the Chamberlain's men, which is Shakespeare's

company of actors, they decided that they will just literally upstix, take all of the

timber from that theatre and hide it in someone's shed for a bit and then whilst Allen was

away at Christmas they built it a few hundred metres away from where the current Globe Theatre

currently is, is where they built it.

That one was thatched, the sort of proper original South Bank theatre.

But that would have been before the Great Fire of London were like, because that was Shakespeare's

time.

Yeah, it didn't hang around for very long, it was 1599 I think was when it was built

and then it was actually burned down itself, it didn't need no Great Fire of London to

burn itself down.

Wasn't it a cannon during a play?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it was Henry VIII, wasn't it?

Bastard.

I think it's one of the least good histories, well they don't play it very often do they?

You don't go down the Globe and see Henry VIII on very often.

I think there must be a reason for that.

But last time they performed it, probably on the band list.

So did Shakespeare do his stuff in Burbage's theatre up in the East London side?

Sure did, yeah.

Oh really?

So was anything ever performed in his lifetime during the...

Well yeah, Lightfill says they moved the Globe down to...

And Shakespeare went along with it.

Yeah, yeah.

I think they rebuilt it within his lifetime even though it burned down quite closely.

He died in 1616 and I think it burned down not long before that but they rebuilt it and

you know, he was still showing new Shakespeare plays then.

That's really good to know because whenever I pass it I think, oh this is just a replica,

it's not got any kind of original, you know, meat to it, you know, Shakespeare was dead

by then, it's just, you know, a fake.

But if he was alive while people were performing...

The modern one is a new one, it's completely new.

It's an even more new one.

Yeah, so the modern one was built in the, what, 80s?

90s.

Something like that, in the 90s, yeah.

And that was by what's he called?

San Juanamaker.

San Juanamaker and that's the one which has got thatched now.

That's right, yeah.

Right.

Yeah, it's pretty much the same.

He's a green oak and it has like wooden like postings or sort of whatever, you know, dowling

or whatever it is that holds it all together.

They tried to make it as close to how it would have been made at the time using, you know,

all of the techniques that the builders would have used, but they had to use stuff like

modern scaffolding and they had to increase the amount of fire escapes and exits and

that sort of stuff.

Yeah, they got sprinklers.

They got sprinklers, yeah.

I read them, I was reading the newspaper articles from the time and as late as 1988, the papers

were saying that there wouldn't be thatch and it would be tiled and that was due to

fire regulations.

And then sometime around 1990, they kind of changed their mind and said, yeah, we're going

to be allowed thatch after all.

That's cool.

It's got some cashmere in the walls.

Is it?

Yeah, because they used, they made proper old, old fashioned plaster as in 17th century

plaster.

Wattle and Dorb is the name of it and it includes cashmere goat hair, which is an ingredient

of the plaster.

That's cool.

Yeah.

And the thatch roof that they have now has a hidden set of sprinklers all the way through

it.

Oh yeah.

Just in case.

I found the company that made the thatch, they were called TAS and there was an article

about them and apparently the globe wasn't the biggest ever contract that they had.

They had one bigger contract for thatch roofs.

Can you guess?

Oh my God.

It was, oh, I've given it away.

It's multiple roofs, multiple thatch roofs.

Do they redo a whole village or something?

In a way.

In a way.

In a way.

In a way.

Okay.

Phil, I'll let it out all these silences, by the way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, an Olympic village, but like an old fashioned Olympic village.

That's right.

Like the 2012 Olympics, everyone lived in batched houses.

That's why they're all having sex all the time.

Right.

No.

Was it for like a Game of Thrones set?

Okay.

Not Game of Thrones.

Harry Potter.

Lord of the Rings.

No.

Hobbit.

No.

Ted Lasso.

I think, I don't know when this, I think it was 90s.

So it's a similar era.

This Xen of the Warrior Princess.

Film came out.

Matrix.

Matrix.

Stop it.

It was a historical.

Shakespeare in love.

Shakespeare in love.

No.

But that would have been.

That feels good.

Yeah.

It's going to be a bit of a downer now that I tell you.

It was Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.

Okay.

No, you were there tracks.

They had to do the entire kind of village and they put that on all of them and that

was the most money they ever made and the globe was the second most they ever made.

That's incredible.

His movies are expensive, man.

Waterworld.

Kevin Costner.

Yeah, they flood the earth, you know, for that one.

Kevin Costner.

Oh, right.

He's a huge set.

Dancers with wolves.

Wolves have to dance.

You know the globe?

I do.

When they rebuilt it, it then shrank.

Oh.

Riddle me that.

Oh.

Okay.

Okay.

They built it in the summer and then it got cold.

What kind of just the timber dries out and it takes years and years for timber to properly

dry out and it dries and it hardens and it shrinks a bit.

So we get stronger through time.

Yeah.

Which is amazing.

That's cool.

That's really good.

Do you know where they got the timber from?

No.

They got the open storm.

In the new forest, knocked down loads of trees, but it's certainly a big storm in the late

80s.

Knocked down a load of trees in the new forest and they got all of the timber from there.

That's really cool.

Yeah.

And also the Duke of Edinburgh offered wood from one of his oaks at Windsor.

Lovely.

Nice.

Good bloke.

Good bloke.

Yeah.

Do you want to hear another fact about the royal family in this, by the way, while we're

talking about, well, let's not say good blokes for this one.

So they crowdfunded it quite a lot of the money for this because, you know, they needed

a load of money and they need to get it from somewhere.

So they went to America and they had an event called UKLA88, a celebration of British arts.

And according to the Desert Sun newspaper, the real stars will be Fergie and Prince Andrew.

So Prince Andrew is partly responsible for the building of the globe.

And the British consulate said, when you think of Britain, we don't want you to think about

and Bobbys, but of Concord, Microchips and Phil Collins.

I don't like to see Phil Collins perform at the growth theatre.

Concord's not even going anymore.

No.

Microchips.

Do we make many microchips in the UK?

Possibly.

I don't think so.

My friend is not.

Huge centre of...

Phil Collins is still going strong there.

That's a good point.

He's the one part of Britain that's left.

He's folded it up.

Yeah.

Have you played there, Phil?

I haven't played there.

I've been to see quite a few productions there.

I was a poor student when I went, and so I was standing, I was one of the groundlings.

And I was...

I mean, I've got a pretty bad attention span, as it is.

And being stood there for like three and a half hours, I'm like, oh, fuck this, man.

Do you remember all you were seeing?

I saw Midsummer Night's Dream there, and they were all great productions, but this is my...

Listen, I'm working on it.

But they have another space, which is called the Wanna Make a Playhouse, which again is

made like a playhouse would have been back in Dere, and it's fully lit by candles.

And you can just imagine that, again, the schematics coming along, and they're like,

right then, Globe Theatre, what do you got for us today after all the Thatched houses

and all this stuff?

Oh, a fully wooden theatre, and it's only lit by candles.

The way you just said Dere, just then a second ago, back in the Dere, apparently if you see

Shakespeare, you weren't here to be or not to be, you're here to bear or not to bear.

Is that right?

Well, this is what I read.

So apparently the Globe Theatre has a tradition now these days of making sure that the accents

that are spoken while Shakespeare plays on is the accent of the time.

And so David Crystal, who James, you and I met years ago, he's a linguistic guy.

He studies all types of language, and no one really knows how people spoke back then fully.

He kind of clobbered together an idea of how to speak and to be is to bear, to bear or

not to bear.

OK.

It's quite Brian Butterfield then.

Oh, did you have any snacks when you were there?

This is relevant, I promise.

A beer.

You had a beer, OK.

There's been a count as a snack as more of a refreshment, isn't it?

A beverage.

It's still something from the theatre.

But it was very of today.

OK, so it wasn't...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It wasn't brewed in there.

I have a bear.

To bear or not to bear?

Exit, pursue by a bear.

I just wondered, because archaeologists have done lots of digging around under the sights

of the old theatres, and they found out what the snacks would have been in Elizabethan

times.

That's great.

Yeah.

OK, so what?

Go on.

Well, they're slightly limited by what remains, as in what rots and what doesn't.

Of course.

But they have found thousands and thousands of oyster shells.

That was a huge thing, and because the oysters were not a food for the posh, they were just

a sort of standard snack.

Yeah, yeah.

Just get a few oysters when you went to the theatre.

So that was a big thing.

Yeah.

That's very cool.

Just go back to the accent thing.

There was...

Because it was such an amalgamation of different accents that were in London, and they hadn't

really sort of formed a London accent yet, I guess, at that time.

It was such a hodge podge of different accents, like a sort of Irish, British, West Country,

Lancashire, Geordie sort of thing.

And I could give it a bit of a go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nobody can tell me I got it wrong, because no one remembers it.

Something like...

Something like that.

Wow.

That's great.

That was great.

I did just get hit in the head before I...

Could you do the rest of the show?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a lot of...

If you go to the Globe, there's a lot of things on the floor, which are the names of patrons

basically that help to fund the new Globe and so on.

And so there's lots of very famous names on there, and two in particular, which are exciting

to see, are John Cleese and Michael Palin, which is very cool.

Yeah.

Michael who?

Michael Palin.

Palin?

No, Michael Palin.

I'll stop it.

Because according to the story, John Cleese only agreed to donate to the theatre on the condition

that Michael Palin's name was misspelled.

And so, on the floor, you can see it.

It's P-A-L-L-I-N.

Wow.

What would you have done if we just politely glossed over it?

I was so nearly dead.

I was holding on going, come on, guys, someone, someone call me on this.

It's a problem when you pronounce everything wrong.

The thing is that Dan's such a big fan of Michael Palin.

I was thinking maybe that's how it's pronounced.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the globe says that this is the story.

When you go on the tour guides, they say this is the story.

There's no solid, you know, John Cleese needs to say it out loud.

Okay, but it is misspelled.

Yeah, it's misspelled.

Yeah, we need to move on in a sec.

Does anyone have anything before we do?

I've got some stuff on Rich the Third.

Oh yeah, do it.

Well, so a lot of archaeologists found the old theatre buried underneath a car park,

not so far away.

And as was Rich the Third found under in a car park in Leicester.

And obviously was one of Shakespeare's big villain protagonists.

And Dr. Joe Appleby at the University of Leicester looked at the bones

and saw that Rich the Third got fucked up when he got killed.

Oh, right.

That he was, they see from his bones.

He had a glancing blow to his cheek.

He had a wound from probably a halberd, which is like big stick pike with a sort of axe thing.

It was potentially the fatal blow.

The back of his head or sort of chunk was missing there.

And then they think that they didn't want to do too much more to the face

because Henry the Seventh needed to parade this dead body around.

Look, this is definitely him.

This is him, not just some pulp.

And they saw what they thought would be some post-mortem injuries to his rib and to his spine as well.

And then one up his bum, they reckon.

There's sort of a mark.

Was that actually died?

Well, this is it.

That's the question.

That's a different play, Dan.

He's my kingdom for a horse.

My kingdom for a horse with a very soft saddle.

Wow, that's amazing.

That was in battle, wasn't it?

That was in battle, battle of Bosworth.

Who was the last king killed in a battle?

Was he?

I don't think anyone since then has been.

Cowards.

Come on, Charles.

Come on.

OK, it is time for fact number two, and that is Andy.

My fact is that when residents of Greater Manchester were recently asked,

they identified four distinctive accents in the region.

Mank, Lancashire, Wigan and Posh.

Brilliant.

Yeah, it's like a good version of the Spice Girls.

Wigan Spice.

Mank Spice.

Wigan Spice is eating a pie all the time.

James, do you, when you see that there's these four, does that make sense to you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

I would say my accent began as Lancashire with a bit of Wigan,

because I went to primary school in Wigan,

and now it's Posh, probably.

Right.

I've lost a lot of my accents since I moved to London,

so I think people in Greater Manchester would say I was in the Posh bit.

You do, I notice when either you're around family or people from the north,

you do slightly slip back into it.

It's like the wording like Tintinette.

I don't want, like, you know, have that sort of word.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you miss out like certain words sometimes.

I did it when Phil came in, and then he opened his mouth,

and I'm like, oh, yeah, you're not Jamie Tartt.

Always disappointment.

What's Tartt's accent, is that from?

It's, well, it's sort of new, Boston sort of.

Because the people who did this research,

one of them was called Dr. Rob Drummond.

He listens to fish, it turns out,

and I emailed him and sent him an example of your accent

and asked him if he could place it.

Oh, my God.

So this is an academic.

And he said, no, it's shit.

No, he didn't.

He was like, no, it's really, really good.

And he says you do a great Manchester accent,

and it's all about the letter vowel and the happy vowel.

And apparently when you say let her, as I would say it,

if you're in Manchester, you say let or,

which Jamie Tartt does, and happy,

as I might say it in Manchester, they say happy.

But anyway, he could take your accent,

and he reckoned he could pinpoint it's a pretty much central

or just north of central Manchester.

Wow.

From Seoul kind of, Smedley, that kind of area.

Wow.

That's so cool.

An academic agreement.

That's so cool.

Three years later.

I mean, it depends what series you watch,

because I think the first series I was like,

I don't really, I don't know if I'm doing this right,

but it was an American show.

So I was like, no, they won't care.

We should name the project, shouldn't we?

It was called Manchester Voices,

and it was a three-year research project

at Manchester Metropolitan University.

Yeah, Dr. Rob Drummond, who checked out Phil's accent,

he is a listener.

He listens to fish all the time with his daughter Cassia,

and he has a new book coming out called You Are All Talk.

It's not out yet,

but if you want to pre-order that, you can.

They had a really cool thing.

They had an accent van which drove around,

and they bundled people into the accent van

and recorded how they spoke.

Bundled.

Yeah, they wrote it.

There was consent.

They had hoods.

They had cuffs.

That's so funny.

And so the specific questions that they asked

were things like,

oh, and I'm curious, because you're from Bolton,

so if they said,

I've never heard you say, instead of bottle,

buckle, yeah.

Yeah, or lickle, instead of buckle.

Yeah, that is a Bolton thing,

but I don't really speak like that now.

School with two syllables.

Skewer.

That's more of a Wigan thing, you would say skewer.

So the word buck, as I would say it,

10% of Boltoners say booke.

Booke.

Instead of false booke.

And 71% of Wiganers say that.

Wow.

So that's how you can tell the difference,

and 30% of Boltoners say buzz instead of bus.

And I actually do say buzz instead of bus.

Did you, just with all those words James was saying,

when you were doing your accent,

is it something that you studied,

or is it one of those things that once you start speaking

in an accent, you almost naturally find the way

that they would pronounce it anyway?

I guess studied, I've watched documentaries and whatnot.

My agent, who I love very dearly,

is a Mancunian, and she's very sassy.

And there was a lot of sass in Jamie Tartt,

so I was like, that's quite a good sort of start point.

And I think generally I sort of am okay at picking that up.

But there's a rapper called H.

And it's funny, the difference.

From steps, yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he's much cooler.

H from steps is coming on next week.

Yeah.

Careful.

But H is really like proper Mancunian.

Yeah, he's the rapper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think that one of the things was,

when we were auditioning for it,

they didn't necessarily want a Mancunian.

They just wanted someone who didn't sound like me.

You know, Italian or Spanish or whatever.

And I think that it just felt right for him,

that sort of sense of like,

he'd come from a place that you had to sort of graft to get out of.

And that's why I say season one, season three,

from being totally honest,

it started off with one of the Gallagher brothers.

Right.

And it sort of slowly stepped towards sort of Jesse Lingard,

come sort of a far more sort of contemporary version of that.

It would be like, all right, how you doing?

All right, mate.

I'll take you all up to get in there, but it's like,

do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's a lot more like sort of contemporary.

And it feels a lot more like,

I feel like he's rapping all the time.

Do you know what I mean?

Right, right.

So, yeah.

So anyway, it sort of shifted from a sort of 90s version of it.

I've read quite a few things about actors who,

so Austin Butler,

who just played Elvis in the biopic,

the Baz Luhrmann biopic.

There's videos of him prior to doing the role

to how he speaks now.

And he's been unable to shift the Elvis voice,

the Elvis role.

So when he received his award,

either the Emmys of the Golden Globe is,

well, thank you everybody for this incredible award.

He can't get rid of it.

And he actively talks about it,

because he's questioned about it.

They're like, you don't talk like this.

And he's like, oh, no, I can't get rid of it.

And so he's trying to lose the Elvis accent.

That's so random.

Yeah.

Well, no, it happens with quite a lot of actors.

That's how I was going to say,

did you ever have anything where at home,

suddenly you found yourself not being able to shift the accent?

Was it not long enough a gig to each time?

Oh, I think there was probably a couple of words

I just enjoyed saying, like, pooper.

I just really enjoyed.

He wrote a pooper.

It just feels right.

A lot of the air words at the end is just quite fun.

But you can track what film Tom Hardy was doing

by interviews at the time.

I mean, he's got a real sort of chameleon accent thing.

Do you remember Steve McLaren when he went to work

in the Netherlands?

Yeah.

And he just started talking with the accent.

But he was only there for like...

So he was a former England football manager

and he became a manager of, I can't remember who it was,

Ajax or something.

There was Ajax, but a Dutch team.

And then he would do interviews in England.

And he'd just have this really strong Dutch accent.

And he'd been there for like only a few months.

And he was like trying to ingratiate himself

for the culture.

I think it's subconscious though, isn't it,

when people do that?

Because you're talking to people who,

let's say you go to America or Australia or somewhere,

you naturally will...

Well, some people do and some people don't.

It's a really interesting thing.

Well, you do naturally...

You imitate someone's accent, don't you?

Because it makes them like you better.

That's the idea.

But also, they've decided that this is a good idea

and they've got this AI software

where if you phone up, you know,

what do you call it?

Like a chat...

Not a chat line.

A call centre.

A call centre.

Yeah, one of those call centres.

My bank card isn't working.

If you phone up a call centre.

And yeah, they've worked out this AI

which can hear your accent

and then imitate your accent.

And so they come back in a slightly similar way to Utah

and it means you trust them more.

It's so weird.

And it's mostly,

basically because of where call centres are around the world,

it's mostly to make people in places like the Philippines

sound like they're from Boston or whatever.

But this is the plot of a film.

It's a film called Sorry to Bother You.

And it's about a young black guy

who gets a job in a call centre.

Oh, yeah.

And someone tells him, like an older guy in the centre says,

use your white voice.

Oh, shit.

And he starts getting lots and lots of business

because he's sounding preppy and whiter.

And so they've literally turned this.

It is a horror film.

Yeah.

They turn it into a technology.

It's so weird.

James, what is this little Bolton quiz?

Oh, I don't know why.

Oh, no.

Give it to us.

Give it to us.

All right.

Pee wet.

Dan.

Oh, I know what that is.

I read it.

Pee wet.

Pee wet.

Yeah.

Two words.

Pee wet is a type of bird.

Absolutely.

Is that helpful?

Maybe not.

Could be.

Could be.

Because it goes, Pee wet.

Pee wet.

Would James be trying to help you in this quiz?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Is he a friend?

Maybe not.

Distractor.

Pee wet.

Pee wet.

You've got yourself with Pee.

Didn't even think of that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good.

If you ever come to Bolton.

Yeah.

That's what you have to say.

Pee wet.

No.

Of course not.

I don't mind if I do.

I don't need your help for it.

Thank you very much.

James was helping you that Pee wet is the mushy pee water.

Yeah.

So you can get them to put, if you have chips with Pee wet, then you don't have to pay for

the Pee wet.

You get the chips and they'll just pour a bit of the wet bit of the mushy peas on it.

The water runoff from the mushy peas.

Wow.

I'm sorry.

No.

Great.

That's not what I thought.

I thought it was just mushy peas.

But that's a step.

Just a good approach in sanity.

Why do you want that?

Like you have wet chips.

Why don't you have wet chips?

You just want those.

Just chips that are too dry.

Oh, so kind of like a vinegar.

Put vinegar on, don't you?

Yeah.

Wow.

It's very exciting.

Shakespeare in English isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

I'm going to try another one of them.

Cracking the flags.

Bought to flags.

Cracking flags.

Cracking the flags.

Is it rude?

Or she's got a pair of cracking flags.

No.

I don't know.

Do you know what it is Phil?

I don't know what this is.

No.

What if I tell you that the flags relate to flagstones

as in like pavement, cracking the flags.

It's like walking as a pedestrian.

Cobbled streets.

This is so funny because these are words

that I thought everyone knew.

And I'd never heard this until.

That's the inner reason I mentioned it.

It means it's really hot.

It's cracking flags out there.

It's so hot that the pavement's breaking.

Yeah, yeah, nice.

Wow.

God, I'm really failing as my pretend man.

Mancunian here, aren't I?

Yeah.

But the Mancunian accent was...

Sorry, just to close this again.

The Mancunian accent was voted,

and I found this in The Daily Mail,

and the research was provided by Best Casinos.

So it's flawless, yeah, come on, on we go.

I know that you love your watertight facts checking here.

After they asked 2,500 people,

they found that the Manchester accent

was the sexiest accent in the world.

That's interesting.

And that's from Best Casinos.

Is that recent?

Yeah, yeah, I think it was last year.

That's interesting, because I reckon that change...

You see those things quite often, don't you?

And they say, oh, the Irish accent's most sexy,

or the Yorkshire is never the Birmingham weirdly,

but they do say that.

And I wonder if it's fashion.

They've seen people like yourself

doing the Mancac accent on TV,

and they associate it with...

Did the Gallagher's have an effect?

I think they did, yeah.

On the sexiness of the Mancunian accent.

That's what I'm thinking.

Yeah, because I read a thing that, in America,

there was once a vote on what was the most sexy accent

from the UK.

Oh, the UK?

Yeah, and Glasgow won it, right?

And I wonder, because Billy Conley is so big in America,

whether or not there was just something kind of like...

I know he's not seen as a sex symbol,

but he's seen as really charismatic, really funny,

everything that's likable.

Silky guy. Yeah.

Or whether the person doing the research was Glaswegian,

and they felt intimidated.

Yeah.

I get...

One of my favourite things about doing this show is,

I quite often...

I haven't actually had it in the last sort of 12 months,

but I used to get a bunch of linguists would write to me

saying, I take samples of your accent and my accent,

and I play it to other people who are linguists,

and the challenges work out where he's from.

And every time they say, no one can work out,

they say, like, Canada or, like, New Zealand Australia,

they get elements of it, but no one...

I used to collect on tour.

And we sort of do, like, signings afterwards,

and people would sometimes come up and say,

where are you from today?

And then you'd ask them to guess,

and I used to keep a list on my phone of everywhere people had guessed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it was, I mean, the whole world.

Because I think you just have an international accent,

like, as if you went to international school,

like, my wife's got a similar kind of slightly North American weird accent.

Yeah, but I guess if then that becomes the challenge

for the linguists, what are the influences on this accent?

We were saying before that when people who are from a certain place

go back to that place or speak to other people from that place,

that accent starts to come out a bit.

Do you have that with one of your...

If I go to Australia, I definitely lean into Aussie a bit.

I should have a British accent by now,

because I've been here long enough, but I don't.

And the Hong Kong accent was very American, where I grew up.

But where do you go to sound more like you are now?

Not just more Aussie, you know?

Because you don't really sound very Aussie.

No.

When you travel internationally.

It's actually only in departure lounges.

But Dan sounds most like himself.

Whenever you're buying a Toblerone, it's like...

Okay, it is time for fact number three, and that's my fact.

My fact this week is that of the few people

who have top secret clearance at the White House,

one of them is the person who writes all of the party invitations.

It's such a good plot for something, isn't it?

It is, isn't it?

You know, the calligrapher.

And it's the president's party invitation writer.

It's missing.

Yes.

Oh yeah, because you'll know, as the invitation writer,

who's coming to the summits, who's, you know...

He has everyone's address.

He's got Brezhnev's address.

Brezhnev?

Yeah.

Do you think of a key global player?

Brezhnev, when did Brezhnev stop running the Soviet Union?

I was thinking of Vine as a Cold War thriller.

Imagine how beautiful his ransom letters would be from the calligrapher.

That would be perfect.

So this is a thing where this kind of came up in the news

when it was during Trump's administration

that Jared Kushner, his son-in-law, had been downgraded

from top secret clearance because they sort of

just tried to stop making everyone have it.

And people noted that...

Because he had too many links to the Saudis, but yeah, sure.

Yeah, yeah, so...

It's nice not recording on the BBC, isn't it?

So he got downgraded, and someone was pointing out

that actually he's now got less clearance

than the calligrapher has on the in-house.

And the reason the calligrapher has it

is because they have to know everything about the president's appointments,

what's coming up, who they have to...

And they're near dignitaries all the time,

and so they need to be on top of everything that they need to write

because they write so many invitations.

They have a unit.

It's a calligraphy unit.

There's a whole office that does this.

It's not many people.

There's only like three or four people, but...

It's still a lot.

It's a lot.

One of them said that in one December period alone,

they believed that they did 19,000 envelopes.

Brilliant.

And those are handwritten.

So yeah, so...

And they're paid very, very handsomely,

and they've been going for a very long time.

Like, they're like long-term posts that they can run for.

But they did ask one of the...

I think he was, by this point, the former calligrapher

when the story broke.

And Rick Paulus, who had run the office,

he said that it was just because of the schedule

and the proximity to world leaders.

He said he never, ever dealt with intelligence matters,

which you would hope he would not.

As in, like, something's gone wrong

if you have to solve a crisis.

I wonder who's the best RSV peer.

Ooh, like the timeliest.

Yeah, yeah.

Of all the world leaders.

Yes.

That's interesting.

I feel like Trudeau's waiting by the...

Waiting by the post office door.

Yeah, yeah.

He'll reply nice and smooth.

They did a thing, I guess, with the royal wedding.

There was a...

I can't remember which royal wedding it was.

It was William Cate or Harry and Meghan.

But they ran a thing of...

So, and so he's replied very quickly, saying...

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Do you remember the fact that Meghan Markle,

her former job when she was an actor,

as a side job, she was a calligrapher for invitations.

So, that's what she did.

That's what she did.

Robin Thickey.

Of blurred lines.

Robin Thickey, yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, blurred lines, babe.

He did...

His wedding, the invites were written by Meghan Markle.

You know Robin Thicke.

Yeah.

Who's that?

The blurred lines guy.

Do you know, his dad was really famous.

He wrote the theme tune to Different Strokes, the TV show.

Oh, is that also a problematic song?

Sounds it.

It's not a sexy song.

It's like a show.

It means something very different.

Yeah.

Strokes.

Wow.

That's the best...

I mean, no offence about this, James.

Trippy effect.

I've ever heard that.

Like, that's good.

That's good.

That's fabulous.

Rick Polis, by the way.

So this guy was the head of calligraphy.

Have you seen his website, rickpoliskalligraphy.com?

Yes.

Wonderful.

He's quite annoyed because the kind of digital age where computers started recording all

the examples of all the invites that they write over the years and now being archived,

he kind of just missed that.

So a lot of his work isn't online for you to see.

So he presents on his website my favorite invites and my favorite bits of calligraphy that

I did for the White House.

Yeah.

So you can see menu for the president of Ireland.

That's a cool one, isn't it?

He did a load of convoluted Celtic style design.

Oh, that's great.

All of those meals the president pays for, doesn't he?

Yeah, isn't that weird?

Is that right?

Yeah.

Because it's...

When I went to the White House...

Clang?

Yeah.

Clang.

Guys, are we talking about the White House?

It's so fun, isn't it?

When did you go?

I went...

At the start of this year, the cast of Ted Lasso were inexplicably invited.

For an audience with the president and the first lady.

Insane, yeah.

Six of the cast members sort of spoke to the president and the first lady about mental health

and the effect that the show has and sort of impact that is needed over there.

But we also were having a tour and we sort of had, you know, learned some things about

a little thing or two about the White House.

So one is that the president, because a lot of it is state funded or sort of funded by

taxpayers, they can't be seen to be handing out big banquets for everybody that comes.

It is just...

Yeah.

Like it's his gaff, isn't it?

Yeah, exactly.

And, you know, hopefully one day we'll be able to say, huh, gaff, guys, all right?

Am I right, guys?

It's 2023.

Did you get an invite, Phil, then?

Are you just like a handwritten one?

No, I did not.

I got an email and obviously we all thought it was fake that we'd be invited to the White House.

I wonder if the same guy types the emails up.

He types them in incredibly.

He has a little wand he uses to tap each letter.

It's very good, yeah.

Did you have lunch with Biden or did you just say hi?

Because I saw a photo.

You were in the Oval Office, right?

We took her to the Oval Office, yeah.

My God.

Which is wild.

It was the energy you walk in the room.

You're like, oh, some scandal sort of happening.

Yeah, right.

But no, we were kept in the map room where we ate, which is where they planned the D-Day landings in the map room,

which is just to be sitting there eating as odd.

And you're there with like 25 Secret Service all just sort of knocking them out.

Who were so cool, really nice.

Right.

And also like, you know, you ask them any question and you can see them go through the roller-decks

of what can I say, what can't I say.

Yeah.

And the weird thing was, I don't know if you had it, you call someone by a title.

It suddenly feels very strange.

And these people that you've been knocking about with the cast members that have been with, hearing them call someone a title,

it feels very contrived, the whole thing.

Do you mean like Mr. President?

Mr. President.

Huh.

Yeah, yeah.

And so you're just thinking about that the whole time when you're meeting him.

What's the term for the First Lady?

Dr. Biden, I think.

Dr. Biden is Dr. Biden, yeah, right.

And obviously the whole time you're thinking.

It's like in Taxi Driver when De Niro's going, you're talking to me, you're talking to me.

Before I turned up, I was like, Mr. President.

Mr. President.

Hello, Mr. President.

And of course, he just sort of, don't say Trump, don't say Trump, don't say Trump.

But it was funny when we were saying goodbye, the guy who plays Isaac McAdoo, Colla Bikini,

I was stood next to him, he was shaking our hands, the president was shaking our hand.

It's all going around the circle and it turns to Connor.

He goes, thank you for coming along, son.

And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cheers.

And he turns to me and he says, I just said, cheers to the president.

That's so good.

I don't know how often people call the president dad by Mr. President.

You know, like calling the teacher mum.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

It must have happened to him on a sort of daily basis.

It's such a shame you didn't have lunch with him because I've heard great stories about his lunchtime.

Well, when he sits with Kamala Harris and they have their lunch, he likes to eat with a slideshow going.

So they just eat their meal while they're watching a slideshow of all the like recent adventures they've had,

just so that they can sort of remember and reflect on...

What, just the photos of...

Yeah, yeah, it's just a slideshow.

That's nice, I think.

Yeah, I think, yeah.

Is it a slideshow of his stuff or both of their?

Both of them, I think it's, yeah.

It's just like, oh, look at here I am, shaking a hand.

That's the guy, that's the Ted Latter guy.

He said, cheers.

Can I tell you one last calligraphy thing?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Did you hear of Rick Muffler?

No.

What a guy.

So Rick Muffler used to be a calligrapher, maybe the chief one, and he was controversial,

because he was the only left-handed calligrapher in the office.

Oh, that means you're going to smudge everyone else's calligraphy.

Exactly, it was a nightmare.

But just, he's cool, particularly because it's kind of a family thing for him.

So his grandfather was a chauffeur for President Warren G. Harding,

and then his dad, John Muffler, was an electrician who wound the clocks in the whole White House.

He worked there for 50 years.

He arrived in the late Second World War, and he was there for Bill Clinton.

All that time he was in the White House.

And so Muffler's the third, is that who we're talking about?

Rick Muffler was the third Muffler.

I don't know if there's a new Muffler.

I would like to dream, and I won't be here to see it,

but in like 500 years there'll be a Muffler president.

And it's like they'll have muffled their way all the way up to the top.

That would be good, wouldn't it?

It'd be great.

There were some sort of heirs and graces that the Trump family didn't really follow.

There were traditions that the First Lady, when the president leaves office for the last time,

the First Lady would sit for a portrait, and Melania refused to do that,

or has certainly has yet to have sat for it.

And there's this corridor where all of these paintings are put,

and Michelle Obama is still placed at the end of the corridor,

which is traditionally where the previous incumbent would have been.

To be fair, I feel like both Donald and Melania probably have a painting in the attic somewhere.

Very good reference.

Thank you.

I was reading about top secret clearance, just because these calligraphy people have top secret clearance.

It's a very weird thing, top secret clearance,

because it appears to so many people have the numbers of mad.

So there's secret confidential and then top secret, or something like that.

The top secret is the highest.

But top secret clearance, even back in 2015, it was 1.3 million Americans.

That's like one in every 300 people in America has top secret clearance.

And if you broaden it to confidential, maybe that's the bottom rung,

it's about 1% of all Americans have secret status.

None of the children will have it, so that's even, you know...

God, you're right.

It's really common.

If you're American listening to this and you don't have top secret clearance,

it's a shame on you.

Give your head a wobble.

So when I said at the top of the few people who have top secret clearance...

Yeah, I did think that.

But I wonder if it's slightly different than White House top secret, compared to...

This is like civil service top secret.

Yeah, there are...

There's CIA and there's...

There are different donations within top secret.

Not everyone can look at the plans of where we're going to invade next, or whatever.

Who's coming for dinner?

Yeah.

Biden's slideshow.

Yeah.

It is strange.

But that became evident when during the recent leaks, during the Ukraine war,

that was one of the things that people were so surprised about,

was that there's so many people had this clearance that was, you know, really delicate.

A 21-year-old.

Yeah.

Very peculiar.

Yeah.

I was reading about some other parties, or some parties at the White House,

because this is a party invitation guy.

Yeah.

And there seems to be quite a common thing of riots in inauguration parties,

when people go to get their coats at the end of the night.

This is really weird.

It happened in President Reagan's ball in 1985.

Like, everyone went to get their coats at the end, and they got all mixed up.

Because the inauguration takes place in winter, right?

It takes place in January.

Yeah.

So everyone's got loads of coats, and they're never prepared for it.

In 1989, President Bush had a ball which got known as the Bastille Day Coat Check Riot.

Because people were yelling and screaming, and some people never, to the day,

haven't got their coats back.

There was one coat check person for 3,000 coats.

What a nightmare.

And people, like, obviously, these are all, like, really high-up people who think,

well, you know, I'm the most important person in this room.

I should get to the front and get my coat first.

And people are shouting, bushing, and all that kind of stuff.

But it even goes back to 1849 at Zachary Taylor's inauguration ball.

Abraham Lincoln lost his hat.

And for Ulysses S. Grant's inauguration, all the workers who were working in the close place

were all illiterate, and no one got their coats, them either.

So it just seems to be a thing.

That'd be dangerous for Lincoln, because Lincoln used to keep secret documents

in the top of his hat, didn't he?

Yeah, exactly.

Top hat secrets.

Oh, good.

So just so weird.

A beautiful calligraphy would have been wasted on those people that could read.

Oh, yeah.

OK, it is time for our final fact of the show, and that is James.

OK, my fact this week is that in 1999, the Times newspaper reported that Liverpool FC

were about to buy a footballer called Didier Baptiste.

The Times got the story from Liverpool's premium line news service.

They got it from the news of the world.

They got it from a sports agency, and they just found it on a random Arsenal fans website.

In actual fact, Baptiste was a fictional player in a soap opera.

What role did Best Casino play in there?

Yeah, so this is an amazing thing that happened.

It was in the papers in 1999.

Liverpool were going to buy this guy Didier Baptiste, but he was actually a character

from the show Dream Team on Skies.

And yeah, just people hadn't checked it properly.

The Times said he was a promising left-back for Monaco

and a proud member of the French under-21 national side.

Surely a steal for £3.5 million.

Amazing.

Wow.

The news of the world said we think Didier Baptiste will be an ideal addition to Liverpool's back four.

He's a really attractive player.

You'll be seeing a lot more of him in the news of the world from now on.

Obviously.

Did we ever see him in the news?

Yeah, it was just completely made up.

Lying again?

Is this like a transfer season rumours thing?

Because lots of football stories seem to be about, you know...

Yeah, of course.

Like a club or whatever.

You know, a club's going to buy a new player.

You often have never heard of them.

Especially if they're coming from a different country.

And if he's an under-21 player, he's quite young.

It wouldn't be that surprising that you might not have heard of them.

But you possibly would expect that newspapers would do a bit more research.

I mean, you think at today's age, that would be absolutely absurd then.

But now, obviously, you'd be able to sort of...

You know, they'd be on FIFA or you could find them somehow.

That's true.

Yeah.

Yeah, it would be more difficult to do today, for sure.

When was this?

It was in the 90s.

It was in 99.

99.

Yeah, yeah.

Because it was so much harder to find these foreign players on databases or whatever.

There was...

Do you hear about Ali Dier?

Not Ali Dier.

In 1996, Graham Sunez, who was the manager of Southampton at the time,

he got a call from George Weir,

who was a Ballon d'Or winner, you know, player of the year.

Future president of Liberia.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, there you go.

And he's interested.

He really muffled his way up there.

He called Graham Sunez, saying that he should give his cousin, Ali Dier, a trial.

Because he'd been playing as a Paris Saint-Germain.

He'd been playing for Liberia and he'd been doing pretty well.

And so Sunez was like, that's amazing.

I mean, you know, playing at Paris Saint-Germain, that's incredible.

And so they gave him a sort of trial contract.

They gave him three and a half grand signing on bonus.

And he turned up to training.

And Matt LaTissier, who was sort of the star player,

he's quite the same.

What's this bloke doing here?

I honestly thought he won a competition.

It was the reserve team that Ali Dier had been put onto to play for that weekend.

Their match was cancelled and so Southampton first team needed a sub.

And so he went there and subbed on when LaTissier was injured.

He played for 43 minutes before being subbed off again.

He's so bad.

He was just a made up guy.

Was it even, was the George Wayer thing, was it actually George Wayer who called him?

No, so they don't know to this day who really who it was.

But people believe it might have been his friend or it might have been his...

It was just a bloke.

I love these stories.

I love the Hoodspur.

Do you guys hear about Karl Power?

Karl Power, okay.

Karl Power was, he wasn't never a sports player, but he was a serial trickster.

And his thing was tricking his way into sporting environments that he wasn't meant to be in, right?

And when he was a teenager, he would tell them about boxing matches with a towel and a gym bag.

And he would get him for free because they assumed he was part of the fight, right?

And that's a risky one though, isn't it?

If they think you're an actual boxer, you're in trouble.

He built on it and he built his career.

And so one of his greatest moments was when he got into a Manchester United team photo

just before they played a big Champions League match.

And you can see a shot.

He's got Ryan Giggs, Andy Cole, Gary Neville and Karl, just this guy.

And Neville was the only one who rumbled him.

They were all lined up for the photo and Neville pointed at him and said, who are you?

And he said, shut it, Gary, you grass.

You can see that video.

You can see Roy Keane right at the end clocks it.

And Roy Keane is a pretty feisty footballer.

And you see him look across and it's daggers.

Absolutely.

That's so funny.

That's brilliant.

But he looked across.

He spent his whole career doing this.

Yeah, I did.

I said career.

He didn't get paid much for it, but he played on centre court.

He just turned up and played.

He played a match like a little warm-up with someone like Tim Hemman.

He got onto the podium at the Grand Prix, the British Grand Prix.

He came out to bat for England at a test match.

He didn't actually hit any balls.

He just walked towards and then they realised it was the wrong person.

Yeah, yeah.

But I just, I have mind so much.

That's performance art.

That's not.

Yeah.

That's pure performance art.

That's brilliant.

Is he still going, Karl Power?

I don't think he's still trading, as it were.

But I think he's still around.

Once you get to an age, you can't pretend to be a footballer anymore.

Pretend to be a manager, I guess.

Or like a bowls player or something.

I found a, this is a real footballer, but had a fictional element to them.

So it's sort of like mostly real person.

But I was reading about Maradona and Maradona.

So he used to do a lot of drugs.

I think that's very well known to do.

Breaking news.

Yeah, Andy, he was big on the old cocaine.

So he had, he was all real except he had a fake penis.

Sorry, Maradona.

He had a real penis, but he also had a special fake penis made of plastic so that when he

had to do drug tests, he would pull the fake penis out and he would allow the urine to

come through it.

And it's so hard to get to the bottom of this story.

Supposedly the penis was put on display in a museum in Buenos Aires and then went on tour.

I read this in The Guardian, written on tour and then someone stole the penis somewhere

on tour.

So this missing relic of Maradona's is out in the world somewhere.

Wow.

That'll be on some billionaire's mantelpiece.

You know, they've paid big, big money to a cabal or something to source.

What's called the knob of God.

The knob of God.

Yeah.

Someone's got the knob of God.

He had a fake bladder too, I guess.

It's called a whizinator, I think.

I've heard of these things before and yeah, you use them for like drug tests.

Do you hook it up to, you hook it up to a fake bladder?

Or does the penis contain the fake urine?

It's not a, it's not an actual human bladder.

It's just a, it's a bit of plastic.

But yeah.

So you've got the bag and the whizinator, the fake penis.

Yeah, yeah.

And they're all in your, is everything's in your trousers, right?

Well, everything's about your person for sure.

But then there was a person who did that and it turned out that they were pregnant, even

though it was a male-sponsored person.

Yeah.

He'd taken some female urine and they were like, good news.

You didn't take any drugs.

I heard he was your pregnant.

And a horse, apparently.

Before you said anything about explaining the drug test thing, I thought you were going

to say it was because people would try and grope him at clubs and then he could kind

of make a getaway, you know, like Elizabeth losing its tail.

Oh, right.

That's a great idea.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't imagine he played with it, did he?

Did he play?

I don't think you're asked for your in samples mid-game.

Yeah.

To me, a non-fan, that would liven things up.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you've seen when Gary Lynn Capood himself on pitch, haven't you?

I haven't seen that clip.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, because we wrote about this in our book of the year, a fish book, that Gary Linnaker

still to this day, some 20-odd years after he did that, gets sent a single piece of toilet

paper that's got a bit of poo on it in the post.

It's just constant.

He doesn't know who's doing it.

Oh.

It's quite easy to find out shortly who's poo that is.

Well, yeah.

You just take it.

Yeah.

No, but if the person sending it is clean, they're not on any DNA registers.

I was thinking with, because Gary Linnaker's been in a bit of problem with the government,

hasn't he, this year?

Yeah.

Well, Gary Linnaker was Chexwell apartment.

Not saying it's her, but it's just worth checking everyone, isn't it, really?

All of his enemies.

God bless him.

What were you talking about?

Football, sort of fake or lie footballers.

Yeah.

Looking at you, Phil.

Well, I mean, our whole performance is on Ted is, it's so edited that, you know, it's basically

choreography on Ted Lasso, rather than it being sort of pretending we're playing football.

I see it in one's choreography, but it's so hard to do.

Because the thing I've, the one of the things I really found, I really tried to like, when

you see like close up of players, that was me breathing below.

But like, if there was ever shots in the middle of a game, I wanted it to feel like,

Yeah.

And I feel like so many sports films you watch that that doesn't happen and it's really frustrating.

But there were certain things that the production had to take into their own hands, which was

some of the particularly difficult choreography that we had to do.

Like someone shoots, it hits off a post, it hits someone's face.

It's CGI.

The ball is CGI.

So we'd be running around the pitch sort of pretending to kick a ball, which is very

unmasculated.

That feels like it'd be more difficult.

Yeah, it does.

It feels hard.

Because you've got to think of like what the weight is of the ball and like how far it's going to go.

Do they not like, in some CGI, they'll just have an orange instead of whatever?

Like you're fighting a dragon, but there's an orange or something.

It's a guy in green.

Yeah.

His head is the ball.

And the wonderful best actor goes to the ball.

Tom Hanks is Wilson.

Furious.

Never made it to the nomination level.

I've got one fact.

It's less about sort of fake football, but more there is, do you know about Will Still,

the manager at Rheem or Ram FC?

Oh.

The League A team, and every single time the team plays, they are fined 22,000 euros.

What are they doing out there?

Well, it's not so much them.

It's the manager himself.

He is the youngest manager in European football.

He's 30 years old.

He's an English Belgian, I think.

And it's incredible.

He's like this sort of real hotshot manager, but because he's so young, he hasn't really

had time to go and get his certifications, which you need in order to be a manager in

Ligue 1.

And so he's just sort of like, he learned off football manager.

And he went to university, he got a degree, but it's really theatre.

So they find because he just hasn't got the certification yet?

Yeah.

So it's one of the rulings.

What a fine.

How big of that can they afford that?

Yeah.

But he's done so well, and it's incredible.

If you watch a video of him, you hear him speaking, as one normally would in a training session

in English, and then like without missing a beat goes into perfect French.

And it's incredible.

You watch him.

It's just, yeah, he's a really interesting guy.

Interesting guy.

That's a shame.

I always thought that we could just become a football manager whenever Tramir lose their

manager.

I'm a Tramir fan, so we lost our manager a few weeks ago, and I always think, it's worth

a try, isn't it?

Yeah.

You know, it's worth a try becoming a football manager.

But now I know I have to get actual qualifications.

This feels like a French bureaucracy thing.

Surely.

Do you think ever since Karl Power turned up at one Paris Saint-Germain, try to coach

the team?

Do you think it'll be okay?

I think it'll be fine.

I think you'd be fine, James.

What I don't know about football isn't worth knowing, right?

So I say go for it.

I can friend some park with a new thatched roof.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

All right.

I'm going to season ticket.

Okay.

That's it.

That is all of our facts.

Thank you so much for listening.

If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we have said over

the course of this podcast, we can be found on our Twitter accounts.

I'm on at Shriverland.

James.

At James Harkin.

Andy.

At Andrew Hunter M.

And Phil.

At Phil Danister.

Yep.

Or you can go to our group account, which is at no such thing.

Or you can message us on our email podcast at qi.com.

Otherwise, go to our website.

No such thing as a fish.com.

All of our previous episodes are up there.

Phil, do you want to mention anything coming up?

Ted Lasso is currently, I think it's just about to air its final episode or may have

just aired.

So go and watch that.

And I love you.

Oh, that's nice.

That's a great way to end our show.

Dan, do we have any live shows coming up?

We certainly do.

James, do you want to tell everyone about it?

There you go.

It's happening between the 17th of July and late August at the Soho Theatre.

11 shows, sometimes two a night.

So there are some tickets left, actually.

I think about half the tickets have already gone, but there are some left.

So hurry now.

Great.

Okay.

Oh, and go to no such thing as a fish.com slash Soho to book your tickets.

There you go.

Do come.

Tickets are going really fast.

So do get in quick.

And we've got a new guest each night.

It's going to be really, really fun.

So that's it.

Phil, we love you too.

Thank you for doing the show.

And we'll be back again next week with another guest.

We'll see you then.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.