The Therapy Crouch: Will You Marry Me?

I think I just used my right hand to drink my cup of tea and eat my biscuits and it's

close so I put it on your side. That blows my mind. And then I move to my side when you

come in and plus I've warmed your side up. Sometimes you don't move over and I walk

round for ages. I try and get near to your side and be like so tired now. And I try

and put my foot around it without saying can you just piss off on your side? Why don't

you just say babe can you move over? I do say that but I'm just finishing my cup of

tea so I just mooch around the bedroom. It's just unnatural to drink my cup of tea from

that side. It's unnatural for me to go anywhere near your side. Like I don't know because

if I'm lying I can't, I'm so weird the whole bedroom looks different. That's what I'm

saying like even this now we've done a few episodes now. But you're on my side? You're

actually on my side? Well in bed if we're lying down. You're my side to the bed? There's

a door. Yeah but you know what it's just, it's where we've started and we can't. It's

like when I'm in football if someone's for some reason just sat where you sit in the

change room it would blow your mind no one would do it. It's the same with the coaches.

Remember we sat in Alex Ferguson's seat? Yeah we did. We went to for a Sunday roast

and they were in Cheshire and we just sat down at the table and they were horrified because

we'd sat in Sarah Alex's chair and they were like better move. And to be fair to me

they said no you can sit there but if he comes in. I was like I don't want to sit here. I

feel I'm not comfortable with this at all because if he comes in I'll be mortified because

he deserves his own chair. Sarah Alex. Welcome back to The Therapy Crouch everyone. We're

a little bit hungover today aren't we? Why is that babe? We were celebrating weren't

we? We were celebrating because at the time of filming we were number one in the charts

and yeah we got a little bit carried away. Well it's good because you were slightly nervous

about and apprehensive about doing this. You didn't want to sort of like air your soul,

be open for you know. No because I'm always in trouble. I'm always in trouble for everything

that I say and it always gets taken out of context. So I was thinking. Like a lady in

the street freaking the most. Yeah. Yeah. Just like that. Which was from a page of certain

newspapers which did tickle me. It didn't tickle me. Which is really untrue. You said

lady in the street asleep in the bed. Yeah. But anyway it's good news. I mean like you

know for it to go as well as it has you know thanks to the listeners for listening I suppose

because we wouldn't be there without them but it's nice pat on the back and it's an

exciting time to celebrate and being a number one podcast for a week. No but we should stay

there. Do you reckon? Not when mine comes back. No one's going to be listening to your

podcast now because they know. Mine's better than this. They know. Let's be honest. You

were number one in seven days. Yeah. Did you expect it to happen so quickly or at all?

I didn't expect to be anywhere near the charts. Never mind number one in the first week. It

was incredible feeling. Now I know how Ed Sheeran feels and people like that. Steadion.

Do you know people? I had a tweet from someone there. You just said incredible. Someone just

said to me before I can't look at the world incredible now about putting gold flicks to

it. Vile. Oh God. I've killed the word incredible. You've killed a lot of things on this. People

are getting to know the real smell of you. You portray me in the wrong way. You portray

me to be like psychopath. Well, you're doing that all on your own I'd say. So yeah I just

want to thank you all for listening and your increased support. It's been completely overwhelming.

I'm going to send you to all our social handles now which I have no idea to do. Apparently

you're supposed to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Could you do that? Could you subscribe

to our YouTube channel? Could you do that? Absolutely not. I don't even know my Apple

ID. I don't even know. I haven't even got one app on my phone. Well, do it because it's

good. I've heard it. Yeah, I've heard it's good. Obviously we're on the usual tiktok.

Point proven. Point proven. Tiktok. I sent Sophia a message saying we're viral on tiktok.

And spelled it T-I-C-T-O-C. Oh, did we? Anyway, yeah, she laughed.

Cool story, bro. Cool story, bro. What the fuck is that? Cool story, bro. Anyway, we've

had, so we're on Instagram as well and we're on Twitter. But on Twitter is obviously what

I use. And I've obviously put in a bit of feedback. Obviously it's a therapy crouch.

So because you can only have 15 characters in the Twitter handle, it looks like the...

Twitter handle? Well, that's what we say, as tweeters say. This looks a bit like the

rapey crouch rather than therapy crouch. And obviously that's not ideal.

It's not a good look, but just to clarify, it's therapy crouch, not the rapey crouch,

because there's nothing for you about that. Yeah, but that happened to poor Soobo. Yeah,

it's happened to Soobo before. Susanne Albun party. Yeah, one of the greatest hashtags

of all time. Now, poor Susan Boyle was, if you're not across it, Susan Boyle was releasing

an album. She was having a party for this album, so... It was Susan's album party. Susan's

album party. I've got a picture of it. When you just read it with the hashtag, it said

Susanne Albun party. So poor Susan's trying to release an album. She's trying to have

a party for it. And she's got lots of people turning up, expecting something very, very

different. Is she probably selling more tickets for that one?

To me, that must have gone through. Like a lot of people just sort of like, yeah, we've

okayed it. Susanne Albun party. I think the thing is, if you know what the hashtag is,

if you know what... I can only see anal bum party there. I can only see anal bum party.

But if you've wrote Susan's album party, you're probably just going, yeah, hashtag Susan's

album party and didn't think of it. Yeah, I suppose. Poor Soobo. Anyway, so it's therapy

crouch, guys. On Twitter, nothing else. So should we... Is it a bit rusty this start

today? No, no, no. It's good. It's good. It'll be edited as well, won't it? Are we going

to do like... These fuckers will do all that. Can I tell you something funny? Obviously,

because we're number... Because we obviously got to number one on our first week of release.

As you know, our producers are my brother and my cousin. And I've had me auntie Fran

on the phone all week. Oh my God. I've had everyone in Liverpool calling me. Our Ross's

editing is fabulous. It's seamless. Is editing... Everyone's called me a comment on the editing

of this podcast. Everyone's been saying, apparently, it's just seamless. It's... Is it?

The editor? Like, has anyone ever looked at someone and looked at the editor? No, I don't

know. I think you would if you understood, like, podcasts or film. Yeah, but not my

mum's mates. But I don't know if my mum's mates would be going, it's just... It felt...

No idea. My mum's rang to see her and said, have you seen her Ross's editing skills? And

then it rang Abbie and said, I've had everyone on the phone. I love that though. It's pride,

isn't it? Yeah, it's grace. It's good, isn't it? And she's like, oh, the best bit, when

I could hear our Ross's voice because he's deaf funny, quick wit. So, Ross, we need more

from you this week, honey. Can't wait for the evening. Let's keep Fran happy. Okay. Right,

let's get into it. We're going to do the weekly wine club, but we're going to use a little

bit of bubbly this week as we're celebrating. Yeah, I've got the champagne in today, babe,

because we're number one in the charts. In our first week, which is... It's a good start.

Are you going to allow me to do this in the posh living room? No, I just don't really

want that bottle on the couch. I noticed you were eating a sandwich early, I know, in here

without a plate. But it's my room. That's what I'm saying about one room for one and one

for another. I'm not going to dare to eat my own room. How could you eat a sandwich with

no plate on the couch that I'm not even allowed to sit on? I've got a plate. The brink plate.

You have now, after I told you. I know, but... You were about to eat that until I said there's

one rule for you. Well, you know what happened this morning? I just go into my bedroom and

there's foundation all over the carpet. You're not going to blame me for that, are you? No.

I'm not going to blame you for that. It's only severe or liberty. Both of them bear face

lying to me saying they had nothing to do with it. Pete just walks in and stands all

over it, like pushing it even further into the carpet. And I'm like, Pete? So we weren't

going to get to the weekly wine club. Tears are starting already, is it? Sorry. But that

is... It's just so stupid of you. The bottle champagne is an expensive one as well. You

can literally go flying into the wine club without me even opening it. I'm not even finishing

a wine wine, but everyone knows that I'm going with it. Should we cheers to our number one

spot in the first week and then we can cheers to our... Cheers, guys. Well done, team. So

yeah, I've got a couple of things that I've got to wine about. Well, I think I've been

good this week. You have been good this week, yeah, but there are a few things. And they're

quite nice things, really. They're not like that. Well, the first one's not nice. The

first one is the state of the car. It's just phenomenal. For someone as clean as you, for

someone who loves to hoover and make everything tidy in the house, why do you care so little

about the cars outside adding? Outside adding? Yeah, the inside of them. I'm not going to

wash the car, Pete. This is my wine. I'm not saying about wash the car. I'm talking about

when... That's your job? The middle, right? That sandwich there on that thing. I clean

the whole house and you can do the car. This is my bit where you don't get to talk. The

middle is like, you've got like a coffee, there's lipstick, there's like lip gloss,

there's an appealed orange, half eaten, a banana skin. I'm trying to think what else

was on there. There was makeup, a hairbrush. It sounds like frigging guess the thing. I'm

super market sweet. Yeah, literally like in the middle. It's not even in the side. The

whole thing is like you can barely see the gear stick. I don't use the gear stick that

much. Well, when you drive forward. Yeah, but if you're driving, you don't need to use

it. No, but the whole, what I'm saying is the whole thing in the middle, like you can't

even put your phone in it. There's so much shit in there. Yeah, because if I'm going

on a long journey, I'll pack some snacks. Pack some snacks. I've never seen me like

it. No, because I'll make, so when I went to the dentist, I had to be there for nine,

so I had to leave a quarter to seven. Yeah. To dentist in London, rush hour. So I made,

it was freezing. I made a cup of coffee, brought the coffee in the car, orange banana. So that

was just, did you not think that when you leave the car, perhaps take that out? When

I left the car, I was carrying the kids in because I'd picked them up from school on

the way back. So I was carrying in all the school bags, school coats, and I did think

I'll go and get them, but I didn't. But the lipstick and stuff, I like leaving a lipstick

in my car. Everyone does that. Yeah, but that's the same as me leaving like a golf

tee in there. Tees and stuff in there. I don't, I don't. You actually do. I clean, I clean

up after myself in that car. I take stuff out and put it in the bin. Yeah, but sometimes

you just nip out, nip to the shop, and you've got no lip, you haven't got your makeup bag

if you've got, you always know, you've got a lippy in the car. I come home once, right?

And both car doors are open. Like, and this has happened four or five times. So she's

got out the car and not even shut the door. What is that about? I know for the other one.

Yeah, I know for the other one. It's because I'm getting out the car with all the kids

in the school bags. They've got about five bags each. And then we're going to the house.

If you go to the front door, you've got the bags and just do that.

But I forget. I think it's phenomenal. The best one was when I came into the car, weren't

they? And there was half a coffee, but not in a cup, just floating in the middle. Like,

there was a little like a sweetie wrapper, just like a boat, like just cruising along,

like in the middle, like where the, you know, the console, the lippiest, incredible, like

so much liquid, like half a coffee. Do you remember doing that? No, that wasn't me.

You didn't? Come on. No, because I pulled you on it already. It wasn't me. Because it

was you. It was a coffee in the front of the car. I'm not into cars. They don't, they

don't bother me. Imagine I treated the house like that. Cars are not my thing. Cars are

not my thing. They are, though. Pete, you look on RightMove every day. You're literally

on RightMove every single day, looking for our ranch. Do you know, she started looking

at ranches. Do you know this? Incredible. Okay. You said you had a couple of wines if

that's the best you can do. The other one's quite nice. It's just like, I spend all morning

with you. And, you know, that's great. But then I go out the door and before I'm off

the drive, you've called me. Yeah, well, I called you this morning because you left

the beret. Yeah, but we did, she didn't need the beret. I'm sorry, for a bit of context

there. I'm going to France. I forgot my beret, because if I just go out casually and wear

it in a beret, it's the most Monday one. But Pete, you'd forgot your beret. Ah, that's

a legitimate reason, yeah. I forgot the beret. No, Lib, one of our daughters needed it for

school for French or something. But she actually had it anyway. But what I'm saying is, like,

the 28 calls a day, which is, I suppose in some ways, nice. You know, you want to speak

to me, but I don't know, maybe you could limit them a bit. 28's too many. Call me so many

times as well. It's not just a one-sided thing. It's a lot of calls, babe. Like, the kids

are listening to music on the way to school. You must call me seven times. And they're

like, mum. What do I say? Not a lot. I just want to hear your voice and miss you. That

actually leads me on quite well to my wine, actually. It's disgusting. Me yours, by the

way. I won't be calling you ever again. So it's Pete's birthday coming up and I thought

I'm going to get some golf lessons so I can play golf with them. Like, really impress

them. How good. The guy actually told me I was a natural anyway. I've seen you. I've

got a nice swing. It's good. And the guy was like, yeah, yeah, great. And then he called

me back like an hour later saying he's unavailable now for the next six months. I was like, so

now I know why. He's obviously called you and said, have you heard, have you, have you

spin on to me? She wants to do golf lessons and you've put a stop to it because you don't

want to play golf with me. No, that's not true. That is 100% is true. I called him and

said, no, he's called you and told you that I've asked for golf lessons and then you've

said, don't give them. No, that's not true. I'd like you to get lessons. Definitely. Would

I like you to want to play golf with me like every week? No. No, that's the honest truth.

You don't want me to call you. You don't want me to be in your car. Yeah. Well, I like,

I like your company. We have a lot of fun, don't we? I do. I do like you. But what I'm

saying is golf's like my thing. So actually, I've got, still got one more. I'll actually

forget about one more wine. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just show you. Oh, yeah. Talk me through

that for all the audio listeners now. Um, Pete's just pulled us, Pete's pulled us

top up. And as you can see, this is like a week old now, but I'm actually, I've been

working on a special project for over a year now, um, bringing out my own fake tan and

skin cap. Now it looks, babe. Babe, the views will go up at the six pack. Look at me, girls.

Look at me. Oh, yeah. You look like you've been marked off like organ removal or surgery.

So I was watching the football, right? And condition of me watching football. I was

watching the football, right? And the condition was I just sort of let her crack on. She's

like, can I just test some tan on you? So I went like that since she did all this stuff

and then wrote with like a sharpie all around it. And I was like, I feel just tan. She's

testing all the different. Yes. So I've been working on my, um, tan and skin care brand

for like way over a year and we're getting down to the final stages and I'm literally

perfecting my colours because for me, there's nothing worse with a fake tan if it's orange

or it's too green. So I have my final samples and Pete's literally like a walk and easel.

He's got a perfect skin to test on. There's a big area to cover. And I can, it's also

enjoyable for me looking at your six pack whilst perfecting my tan. So what I did is

out of the four colours, I did a little square and then I thought, oh my God. So I drew around

it in a sharpie and wrote dark medium. I know, because they're written on it. But he's

had the poor thing. He's had this on for over a week now. The tan still, the tan's starting

to fade a bit, but the sharpie is still on. I've got little like square bits of tan where

she's just tested and it's not, it's not acceptable. It's not acceptable to use me for testing.

No testing on animals. But he's, um, well, we can confirm this was tested on animals

on giraffes. No, I think you're a good sport doing that for me, babe. I didn't mind. It's

not a problem. But now I feel like a bit of a knob. I wanted to go for a swim today. Like

absolute psychopath. I've got like dark, medium, light written on me in sharpie. But, um,

no, you're a good sport and thank you. And you have helped me and now I've confirmed

my colours. What have you gone for? Well, the process is so interesting, like going

to the lab and like all the AHAs and everything that goes into the tan. It has to be what

all the yummy ingredients or like the collagens and the vitamins. And then we've got the

fragrance we've been working on because you don't want your tan to smell like biscuits

or hot tanners. It awful smells sometimes. So it's really been hard refining this process

and getting everything perfect. And this was the last stage because I wanted to tweak some

of the colours. And, um, well, everyone in my whole family, my sisters literally got

one really brown leg and one medium. Because everyone's got a different skin tone as well,

like I'm pure white Pete's tan. So it's interesting to see what colour the dark is on me compared

to him. So it's, it's, it's been a good, you've enjoyed it. You've helped me loads of this

project. No, I enjoy, I enjoy what you're doing. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, but it's not quite ready yet,

folks, but watch this space. But anyway, thank you. Pleasure. So my, you've got another wine.

I've got another wine. So this wine, I think is going to be relevant to most families and couples.

What I want is a bit of unity when it comes to staying strong with regards to discipline

and our children and consequence and stuff like that. Because this weekend, Sophia was so naughty

and she had to sleep over and I said she couldn't go. She also had a swim and gala.

So I didn't want her to go to the sleepover because I know they wouldn't sleep. Then she'd

be rubbish at a gala. So, um, I caved because I felt so bad that I said she couldn't go to the party

because she was naughty. So I said, I'll let her go to the party and I said, but Pete, she's not

staying. So I said, Sophia, go to the party. You can enjoy it. I said, don't be on the phone to

me every two minutes. Just enjoy your time there and, um, we'll pick you up later. So then she was

phoning us, crying down the phone, please let me stay. And Pete said, yeah. So next one.

No, that was a mutual decision. No, it wasn't. But I just think we need to stay strong and

warm because our kids just, they know they never, ever get in trouble or like.

Yeah, but that's, that's a thing. It's an idle threat. That's the thing where, as parents,

it's harder to, to follow through with punishments. Like you don't want to see them sad. It's hard

to do it, but it's actually better for them in the long run to stick to punishments because then

they won't learn. They won't learn if we don't stick to it. And I think if, you know, because

our kids are quite good at playing us off against each other. So if I say something,

you just need to agree with me, even if you don't and we'll discuss it privately.

Yeah, but that, that, that, that works in all parts of our marriage. If I don't agree with you,

just fucking agree with me. I think we've done pretty well with that so far, though.

Even if you don't agree with me, just fucking agree.

You know what I mean, Pete? Because if, if we show weakness in front of our kids,

or if they know one of us is feeling the same way, they'll play on that.

I agree. So we need to stay together. And I think a lot of families would benefit from using this

technique, which we're still yet to master. Yeah, no, no, I do agree with that. But if you're

trying to discipline one of the kids, right, and I don't agree with that discipline that you're

doing, it's very difficult for me to back you up. Yeah, but then you should say to me in private,

not in front of the kids. Look, Abby, I don't think she deserved to not go to the cinema

tonight with her friends. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree with that. It shouldn't be in front of the

kids. Yeah, so that's all I'm saying. So can we cheers to you? Do you just do what I say?

I totally agree. Thanks, Dave. So that's the wind, man.

Oh, that's great. It's conflict resolution 101.

Okay, so this week we're going to be talking about engagement, wedding proposals,

stuff like that. And we've had loads of amazing stories from our listeners. So I just wanted to

read a few out. Yeah, go for it. Okay, so we got engaged in Rome, Italy. The hubby got it so

right and planned everything to a tee. Surprised me till we got to the boarding gate and booked a

stunning hotel by the Spanish steps. A dinner and a stroll to the Trevi fountain. I knew it was

going to happen. And he was just about to get down on one knee when a tourist tapped him on

the shoulder to take a photo. Just as he did, the tourist dropped down and proposed to his girlfriend.

Oh, my God. Needless to say, it ruined our moment. And he stalled for a while before he

popped the question. But 14 years later, still married and two beautiful daughters.

Oh, that's nice. We've been there in Spanish steps, haven't we? We had a hotel at the top.

I took you to Trevi's fountain, but that's just, I wasn't proposing. I was just, that's our role.

Now, we were... That's what I do. That's just a Tuesday.

I remember that trip, actually. I remember that trip. That's when you were mad at me for wanting

to stay in because I was at mornin' sickness and I was so ill. I wasn't, I was just like,

it's not ideal for me. You're pacing up and down the room, like, oh, come on. I'm vomiting out

the bed, like, into a bucket. I'm missing the Spanish steps here. Yeah, literally. So much stuff

out there. I was looking and I was peeking around at the Vatican and the friggin' coliseum,

just sitting there, watching her throw up. Literally, I've been walking 19 miles around

the friggin' coliseum. I janked around the coliseum and you're like, Kyle's putting more.

I'm in this. You will go to the coliseum. Every picture I'm like that.

Great, half dead. That's not true. You felt all right then, Charlotte. You were okay that day.

Towards the end, you were struggling a bit. I literally couldn't walk by the end of it.

I saw the steps and I'm walking up them fucking steps. Don't care how Spanish they are.

Carry me, carry me. No, I love Rome. It's one of my favourite places. It's absolutely amazing.

Rome is just, if you've not been one of the, I just love it. Remember, we had a guide and I was

going, oh my God, what's that? He went, it's just the post office, mate. I was like,

we're such an amazing building. The culture. Everything is gorgeous, isn't it?

Everything's just got history to it. We did it all, didn't we? We did all the

trips like the coliseum and Vatican. When we went there, they just found this new ruin.

Don't quote me on this. I think it's true.

No, we went, they were rebuilding the cages in the coliseum.

They just discovered a cage, a new cage as a ruin that they used to let the lions out of.

You know, where the gladiators go up in the cage and then they come out,

they were restoring the cage there and we did it, didn't we?

Yeah, we were one of the first people to see it.

The barmer went in before us and then us.

And then Justin Bieber. And then Justin Bieber.

Who do you prefer? I'd say them two.

It's a question I've always thought, a barmer or Bieber.

I love both. Yeah.

Okay. My now husband came into my primary school and proposed to me in front of my beautiful

year four class. I was so sweaty as I've been playing football with some of my class.

He planned for my teaching assistant, also my bestie, to teach them our favourite song,

Oasis Songbird. And they were all singing it when we walked in. The kids didn't know it was going

to happen either. My head teacher bought us some shampoos and we all went to the field to continue

playing football and chatting to all the kids. I couldn't have asked for a better engagement.

We then left Pronto and made our way to London for dinner and drinks.

I think that's a great one. I think doing that in front of the kids is a

that's a lovely thing, I think. Yeah.

It's a really nice thing to do.

Oh, that made me feel a bit sad that one.

It's also very hard to say no in front of a class of year fours, isn't it?

Definitely. I'll tell you a moment.

I'll be right. One floor in that. I'm sure Songbird was by Liam Gallagher on his own and not Oasis.

Stato. I'll have to check that, but...

Or is that a new song Oasis Songbird? Is that a different song?

Songbird's Liam, isn't it?

He just does it on his own.

He does vocals.

Yeah.

Have you ever heard that?

So Songbird yesterday, so far away.

And he lasts like a minute.

Yeah, should you be young this girl?

Why?

Because that's like a quite new song, that one.

No, that's...

Freaking hell.

He broke off about 50 years ago.

That's about 20 years ago.

Oh, that.

No.

I reckon it's about 20 years ago.

It's probably like 98 or something.

2000, maybe.

I'm thinking of a different one then.

It's Liam on his own.

I remember the video was just under a tree.

Class.

Lovely him.

Shall I read one?

Yeah, go on.

OK.

All right, this is a slightly short one.

My husband and I went clubbing after being together for six weeks.

We got very, very drunk and he proposed to me.

We didn't go to bed and went to a jewellery shop to get a ring.

Still very drunk, I may add.

We've been together now 19 years, married for 18.

Best drunk decision of my life.

Oh, I love that.

That's good, that.

When you know, you know.

Just go for it, isn't it?

So they hadn't gone to bed, they just went to a jewellery shop and got a ring.

That's fab.

That is good.

That is good.

Well, yeah, keep sending them in to thetherapycrouch.com, nothing else.

OK, so we're going to take a little trip down memory lane

and go back to when we first, when we got engaged.

Yes, OK, the proposal.

Yeah.

So when did you realise that I was the girl you wanted to marry?

Don't joke about.

I'm not joking about.

I was just going to be serious.

No, you weren't.

I think obviously you, like I talked about before,

when our first meeting, like I thought,

you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

That's the truth.

That remained.

But then I think when, I think people can see it now.

Like, I love being around you.

I realised that you're actually quite funny, you know?

You actually really make me laugh and we just got on fantastically well.

And I thought straight away, I mean, it was really early.

I thought, oh, my God, like, this is different to anything I've ever experienced before.

You know, someone that I fancy massively, but is also not a knob.

Someone who's got loads about them, kind, genuine, funny.

You had all the qualities, basically, that in all honesty,

I didn't think you could get.

Like, I thought men are so different to women.

I didn't think that I could get on and have a best friend as well as a wife.

I thought it's like your mates and your best friends, you know?

So, yeah, all those things just tick, ticked all those boxes.

And I thought I will, I think I will marry this girl.

When did the penny drop for you and go, right, I'm going to ask her,

I'm going to pluck up the courage and I'm going to ask her,

and, you know, did you speak to my dad?

Did you speak to your friends or anything like that and say,

I'm thinking of marrying this girl.

What do you think?

And what do they say?

Yeah, no, I remember speaking to my mates and, you know, asking their opinion.

All said, don't.

I said, no, I like her.

And then when I was just up to you, I spoke to your dad.

To be fair, your dad was funny.

He was funny. I was joking about my mates.

They knew that I loved you and they were happy for me.

But your dad said, I remember where I was.

I was in Sardinia and I called him and I said,

I thought it was the, it's the old school thing to do, isn't it?

You ring the dad.

You're actually supposed to go and see him in person.

Are you?

If you go and fault my dad.

If I was away, I was away and I was going to do the proposal while we're away.

Maybe I should have done it beforehand.

That's so you.

I called him anyway and I was in Sweden, Sardinia.

And I, I said, he said, are you sure?

And I said, yeah.

And he said, don't let her talk you into this or anything you don't want to do.

How is his words?

Not a chance.

I swear.

He went, listen, do it for you.

If you want to do it great, we'd love to have you.

But there's no way.

If you don't want to, don't.

Well, my dad said on our wedding, when we got in the car to go to the chair,

she said, are you sure you want to do this?

We can just drive away now and it'll be fine.

So he's playing both sides.

He's a little traitor.

No, I think he just said, look, you know, he was joking, but he said,

you know, just do what you want to do.

And I was like, yeah.

And he said, but honestly, mate, we'd love to, we'd love to have you.

You know, he was happy, very happy.

And then I'd already bought the ring and I remember sorting the ring,

but it took me ages, but I remember you dropped a few hints over the course of our courting

that you wanted like a pear shaped diamond.

And I think you'd actually drawn it once.

I must have just been like, doodling.

And you would, you must have.

You just doodling randomly about looking at diamonds.

Yeah, I must have been just randomly doodling and you come over and go,

oh, what are you drawing there?

And I'm just like rings.

And then that's like, I'm not going to draw a ring.

You drew a ring game to me and said, that's the one I want.

If you're going to get one, literally like that.

But you obviously didn't do it to scale.

My mum's friend wanted this watch once and literally cut it out of magazine

and sell it, take the watch to a risk.

Brilliant that.

She kept going round and round.

Did you get it?

No.

I think it's important to get the ring right though.

The thing is though, like what I don't get, and this is true.

I don't know.

If you got me something, right, I wouldn't really bother me.

It's about what it symbolises.

I genuinely mean that.

I mean, if you get me something, whereas I think for you, that is totally different.

If you'd go, that's shit.

No, but the thing is, I never get your presence

wrong, so that's easy for you to say.

Yeah, but that's because I wouldn't hurt your feelings.

I would say, I'm not particularly into it, but it symbolises being together forever.

So if I got you, that's just utter bullshit, please.

I'm sorry.

No, it's because I've only bought you nice things, so you've never had to go,

oh my God, I don't like that because I know you would like it.

But do you like the ring?

And that's the difference.

Yeah, I absolutely love my ring.

Do you really?

Yeah, I wouldn't pick anything different.

I drew it, I feel you.

It's my design, people, God's sake.

How long did you have the ring for?

Well, I knew we were going away, right?

And it was touch-and-go ever.

I'd have it before we went away, and I was like, look, it's got to happen.

So I designed it, and I gave it to the jeweler that we'd used.

And this is funny because I'd never bought anything.

He does all diamonds for the lads, like earrings, rings, necklaces.

I've known this fella since under 18s because he used to come in,

and all the lads used to buy stuff off him, and I never spent one penny.

And he was like, I will get you.

He said to me, I will get you.

And I said, I've known him for 25 years.

And then finally, I went, right, it's your big day.

I said, I need a ring because he was like, you're so tight.

You never buy anything.

I literally, I'm not into watches, I'm not into jewellery in the slightest,

but obviously you've got to get a nice engagement ring.

I said, it's your lucky day.

You finally got me.

I'm going to get, I'm going to use you.

And he was like, OK, great.

So he was buzzing.

He made it for us.

It was perfect.

And obviously when I saw it.

So how long did you have it in the house?

So sparkly.

About, I reckon I had it for about 10 days before we went.

Oh, that's...

Not even that, not even that.

No, no, it was less than that.

It was going to be about five, six days, a few days.

But how long did it take to get made?

Oh, ages.

Yeah, it took a couple of months.

I was like, because I thought I'd left off time for when we go away.

And then finally I got it.

I was so happy with it.

I was really happy with what it looked like.

And then put it in my bag, which is just my bag.

It's where I keep like, you know, incredible gold engagement rings,

wallet, stuff like that.

Yeah, just put it in there.

You don't go in there.

It's my bag.

It's personal to me.

I keep my stuff in it.

I do go in your bag.

I know you do.

Now.

But anyway, we got on the plane.

I think we were going to Sardinia.

And I remember you wanted something out of my bag.

We're going to New York.

We're going to New York.

We're going to Sardinia.

And I remember going to get something out of Pete's bag

and he literally jumped over like five people and grabbed the bag off me.

And I was like, oh my God.

Been here before.

Yeah.

So I knew I knew he had the ring in the bag.

You knew.

Yeah.

She knew.

Which is like, we all know Ab, right?

And for those of you who don't, she can't surprise her.

It's such a nightmare.

Like because you always want to know what's going on, don't you?

You're always involved.

You always want to always tell me surprises as well, which I hate.

No, because I can't because if I'm on my phone,

you go, what are you doing on your phone?

And if I don't tell you, you go like,

is it really suspicious of what I'm doing?

And I'm like, it's a surprise.

I have to tell you.

Do you know what I mean?

So that one was, I was a bit guided because I saw, I've got,

you didn't let on, but it was like inkling that you knew.

And obviously your side of the story,

since you've told it since, is like every meal you were like.

Yeah.

Like every night when we like got dressed up to go out.

I was like, I've got this is the best place I've ever been.

So romantic in here.

And then he wouldn't ask me and I'd be like,

I hated that dinner.

It's awful.

Every night I couldn't get to grips with what the ending was going.

It was like every, every end to the meal was like, no, didn't enjoy it.

I was like, the food was lovely.

She's just gone now and not for me.

I just want to go to bed.

I was so upset because then I was thinking,

I know he's got the ring.

We basically, what I should have done is maybe halfway through it or something.

But cause she knew you had the ring and she knew it was going to happen.

It was like every night was a disappointment.

It was like, oh my God.

And then we went to, we ended up going to Ibiza, didn't we?

Everywhere we went was raining, like New York, torrential rain.

Sardinia, torrential rain.

Then we got to Ibiza.

That was our final destination.

Yeah.

And we got like a villa.

And I remember Rab sort of had given up, I think, on the situation.

Like giving up on us.

I don't know what she thought was going to happen.

Like she thought, she's pretty sure I had a ring, but it just wasn't happening every night.

So I think she'd given up and I got her a massage.

And while she was getting a massage upstairs,

there was like a downstairs bit to the villa and I had it all decorated.

So like, you know, candles, roses, petals everywhere.

I sort of decorated the whole room and then like the roses and the walkway, wasn't it?

And then you sort of finished the massage and had it all done and I was like ready to go.

And it was like an amazing like cave almost downstairs and like the room looked to me

and I was really proud of it.

And I thought, right, I'll get her down.

And then obviously she had a dressing gown on with like oil and you know, hair and stuff.

And I thought, right, so we're getting there, you know, I've got a chef and to make some dinner.

And I said, do you want to get dressed?

You know, have a shower with yourself nice for dinner.

She was like, I don't care, Pete.

Your mate's coming over.

You've all seen what I look like.

I don't need to dress up.

Why do I need to dress up?

And I said, yeah, but you know, you might as well.

She was like, I don't want to.

I was having this thing going, just put a fucking dress on.

I was like, Pete, it's only our mates.

Like they don't care if I'm in my pyjamas with oil on it.

And he was like, babe, we're having a nice meal.

Like get ready.

And I was like, no, this went on and on and on.

Men over ages.

Did I get ready?

Yeah, you finally did.

Didn't you?

I can't remember.

And then trying to get you downstairs.

Like why?

Why?

There was nothing down there.

Why do we need to go downstairs?

I'm like, just come down.

And I can't remember what I told you.

He was down there made up something.

Then I said, you've got to come and see this.

Yeah.

Anyway.

There's 12 puppies downstairs.

There's a couple of horses and goats.

I don't know how you got me down.

I got you down anyway in the end.

And I remember seeing your face when you came down

because you knew straight away, didn't you?

Well, I saw all the petals on every step going down.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Like that, as soon as you saw that bit, what did you think?

Oh, God.

Is that what you thought?

No, I didn't think.

Oh, God.

I thought, I'm just trying.

I think I just remember being like, was I crying?

You looked a bit overwhelmed for I would gather.

Yeah, because it's one thing singing.

If you're like, it should have got a ring on it.

And then drawing rings and stuff.

But when it actually happens, it's like, oh my God.

It's probably one of the biggest milestones in your life,

isn't it, really?

Did you feel that way?

Did you feel like, did it go the way you hoped?

Yeah, it's perfect.

It's amazing.

Did you think it did?

Yeah.

I remember going down on one knee,

trying to do it correctly in the right way.

It was really nice and quiet because it was just us.

It was, I thought the setting was really nice.

And then when I did it, you didn't say yes.

You called your mum.

And I was sitting there going,

Yavin actually said, yes, yeah.

Oh, God.

And then you said, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And then obviously we cuddled and kissed.

Oh, yeah.

Because I think he asked me and I just was like,

I just thought I need to call my family.

And I think my whole family had an engagement party

in Liverpool when we went there.

They all celebrated, didn't they?

Yeah, they did.

And they all had a big party on our behalf.

And people said, you haven't even said, yeah, yeah.

I was like, yeah, yeah.

That's what I said.

You haven't even said, yeah.

And then you jumped for me and said, yeah.

And then I think it was quite emotional then,

because I think that's why it was quite nice.

It was just us, because we could just let our emotions.

You know, I think if other people had been there,

I'd have been a bit, I wouldn't be able to let my emotions out.

But I felt quite emotional about it.

And it was, yeah, it was nice.

It was a nice, lovely moment.

But do you remember what you said to me straight afterwards?

Don't talk about a wedding.

Don't ever mention a wedding for at least two years.

Can you believe that?

Literally.

I was like, it's like a handshake and a slap at once.

Well, you didn't listen to me, did you?

Yeah.

Did you?

I did.

For a couple of weeks.

But that was good anyway.

We just got pregnant instead of the one.

Obviously, we had that and then all our mates came,

and we just had a big party.

I can't remember that.

Yeah, we had a big party.

I can't remember everyone coming, can you?

Yeah, I remember, yeah.

And then, yeah, we had big, like,

you were showing everyone your ring, and...

Because I knew you'd want to do that, you know?

That's why I was waiting for our friends to come,

because I knew you'd want to show people your ring

and talk to people other than just me.

The two children laughing in the background,

show people your ring.

And I hadn't seen it yet as well, so I was...

I was excited about that.

God. Pathetic, aren't you?

I would love to do a proposal.

I think that was the right way round to do it, actually.

I know I was moaning the whole holiday for the whole month,

like, so disappointed.

Like, every time we went for a meal, he didn't ask me.

That's funny, that.

I couldn't understand why you were being like that.

No, because I thought you had changed your mind,

and I was really starting to panic.

So, the surprise did work in the end,

because that genuinely surprised me,

because I remember it was like,

all our friends are coming now, he's not going to ask now.

And that was the day he picked, and it was amazing.

It was a perfect proposal, babes.

Thank you.

True romance.

OK.

So, that was our proposal, the perfect proposal,

which I loved.

Do you mean it?

I mean it, it was perfect.

I wish I could go back, and I think you did everything right.

I know you had a few clues, like the sketch,

and me probably showing you a million pictures of the ring,

but as you say, it was important for you to get it right.

And I think most women do that, most women definitely nudge

the fellas in the right direction when it comes to the ring,

because it is important we've got to have this on for life.

Yeah, that's true.

Needs to be nice.

And it needs to be the one that I've given you, you know.

If you change it, I know some people do that, but it's still...

No.

It's not the one you were given, you know, so you need to be good.

Because I know people who've upgraded the ring every few years or whatever.

Well, I know people who've upgraded their wife.

I know people who've upgraded their husband.

That's so bad.

I was just about to say, I'd just get an extra ring and keep my old one.

Okay, enough about us.

It's time to hack the app.

Yes, let's hack the app.

Here we go.

Right, these are great, by the way, this week.

I have to say, I've read for just skimmed for a couple.

I love our listeners.

They're hilarious.

They are funny.

Hi, before I get too deep into this, I just want to say I love you guys.

You're both hilarious.

And listening to you two and how perfect your relationship has made me re-evaluate my own.

Oh, my God.

I've got a ring, but it is yet to receive a fingering.

Oh, my God.

My girlfriend of five years has given me an ultimatum, unless I am prepared to take this

relationship to the next level and get down on one knee.

She's saying I'm wasting her time, fair enough.

Please see below my recent Drafted Pros and Cons list.

Pros, peachy knuckers.

What?

Con, ass like a bag of washing.

No.

Bro, world class banter.

Con, loves to kick off, especially on nights out, San Marino.

Pro, cooks like Nigella.

Con, teeth like Nutella.

I don't have the heart to tell her.

And that's a separate question and topic altogether.

Pro, great in the sack.

Who is this?

Con, Christmas and birthdays only.

Not wrong with that.

Pro, amazing family holidays.

They're minted.

Con, her family could suck the fun out of a clown's arsehole.

I agree.

I may have come across as shallow, but this is potentially the biggest decision I will ever make.

No pressure.

Ring or fling.

Anonymous, 31 from Manchester.

Oh my God.

Incredible email.

Incredible email.

He's very descriptive.

I think

he mentions it here.

He comes across as shallow.

I think he's been incredibly shallow.

I think he's only discussing

how she looks.

And the family have got a few quid.

The family have got a few quid.

Yeah.

The only positive out of it really is the WorldCast banter.

That's the only...

Even when the pros are all like peachy knockers.

Cooks well.

Great in the sack.

Amazing family holidays. They're minted.

That's the most.

Super.

Of course, maybe the initial attraction is nothing wrong with the peachy pair of knockers.

But

you know,

it goes deeper than that if you're going to marry someone.

He hasn't described the things that you look for in a wife.

For me,

the only question you need to ask yourself

when contemplating getting engaged

or marrying someone is

could I live another day without this person by my side?

And if the answer is yes,

then don't do it.

What about if they've got Nutella for tea?

I don't even know what that is.

Black tea? Bro?

Black tea? Brown tea?

Not ideal, is it?

Has he mentioned it?

Oh, he hasn't got the heart to tell her.

I think he's disgraced.

To be honest, absolutely.

It's not great, I'll be honest.

If she ever...

If you love someone that much,

you don't even notice the flaws.

Do you?

Where did you do that puff?

No, I just feel like he's...

I feel like he's

just looking at this

the wrong way.

The initial attraction must have been there,

otherwise you wouldn't have got with him in the first place.

And if you do have that attraction,

then you're looking for...

He describes it as world-class banter.

They ask like a bag of washing.

It's not ideal.

It's totally derogatory and disgusting.

I would love to see a picture of him

because he's obviously Mr Perfect

if he can judge someone like that.

Farley though.

Next song.

Do you want me to read this on?

Hey guys, so I did the right thing

and asked my future father-in-law

for his daughter's hand in marriage

during which my future mother-in-law

was also present.

I was granted permission only to find out

that after I proposed,

her mum had emailed her

to say it was great news that we were going to get married.

I never raised it with them,

but I'm still pissed off that one of life's great moments

was taken away from me.

Paul's, 37 from Bath.

He's gone round to ask for her hand in marriage

and she's emailed the daughter saying

you're getting married and he's not asked her.

What is she doing?

It's harsh.

That has been taken away from him.

That's the one thing, isn't it?

Yeah.

It's a life moment, isn't it?

But it's like...

Remember when we were pregnant with...

Was it Johnny or Jack?

Did we find out with Johnny and Jack?

Yeah, we did.

We didn't find out with Johnny, did we?

Yeah, we found out, didn't we?

We found out with the last two.

I didn't want to find out the sex of our baby.

Yeah.

We had Liberty and Sophia already.

Third time I didn't want to find out,

but Pete wanted to find out

because he wanted to prepare himself

in case we had another girl.

Or find somewhere else to live.

That's not true.

If I deal with this, that is true.

You said, I need to mentally prepare

in case it's another female.

We had a lot of females in the house.

Because at the time, my mum was living with us.

It was me, my mum, Sophia, Liberty,

Maggie and baby.

I have all girls.

I have so many girls around, wasn't there?

You know, if you had friends coming around,

you should just be around a lot.

So, yeah, I did want to find out.

But I didn't.

And Pete promised me that he wouldn't tell me.

That he was in the room to find out

with Sophia to remember.

Yeah, and Sophia said,

Mum, I'm not going to tell you what it is,

but you're going to be happy because it's different

what you've already got.

Literally.

She said you're going to be happy because it's different.

So, yeah, I know how he feels

with that one.

But yeah, it's a shame.

But on the plus side, she said, yeah,

and they're still married, so that's great.

Does he raise it with the in-laws?

No, I don't mean what?

What's the point? Damage is done.

I just go by that if something's done.

There's no point in bringing it up.

Paul, you'll get over it, mate.

Great advice from Paul there.

Get over it.

Shall I read this one?

Hi, Abby and Pete. I've got to mention this one.

After listening to your

You May As Well Move In then episode,

I found myself in a bit of a sticky situation.

I've been dating

my hopefully future wife for a few years now

and I'm ready to propose.

However, after hearing how bad Mr.

Peter Crouch himself can get it wrong

with Chanel gifts, I'm slightly

concerned that the rings I had in mind might not

be her first choice.

Abby, is there a particular shape or style

I should be looking for? Gold, silver,

square, teardrop?

The possibilities of failure are endless.

Hector from Cambridge.

Pete, how the hell did you

measure Abby's finger, wink, wink?

How did you measure my finger?

That's a tricky one.

You just need to get a ring

out of a jewellery box. That's the right size.

Oh, yeah. That makes perfect sense.

She hasn't got a ring.

Well, it's not the end of the world.

If it doesn't completely fit, you can get it fixed.

Yeah, okay. Where should you go, babe?

What do you do as a...

You know, you had drilled it into me.

What you wanted.

I swindled you, but for people

who haven't done that,

who don't know...

She sounds like she's obviously

a nice, pretty easy

going girl, because if he doesn't know, she obviously

hasn't mentioned it. Maybe she doesn't want to marry him.

Oh, Christ.

That's a big shout for poor Hector.

It could be true, though,

because obviously when you want to marry someone,

you are like, when do you get me my ring?

Yeah.

She's just enjoying the moment.

Where does it go?

I sort of had an inkling.

I'm only joking. I had an inkling.

I knew what you might like.

I had this sort of design in mind,

like a teardrop kind of vibe.

For a man who has no clue,

do you start dropping hints in

or do you start asking the friends?

Yeah.

Is that the best way to go?

Yeah. You've got to ask the best friend.

You've got to drop subtle hints.

Look through magazines of people getting married

and they're like, oh, look, a good ring.

Yeah, I've done that a few times.

Okay, for styles, I would always go

classic, timeless,

elegant, classic, something that doesn't date,

doesn't go out of fashion. Don't follow trends

when it comes to a ring that you're going to wear

forever.

Right, moving on swiftly. Hi, Abby and Peter.

I'm fortunate enough to have found the love of my life.

I've done very well in the crypto game

and wanted to throw the most

outlandish engagement possible.

I wonder if you and your listeners might help me

come up with something that will go down

in the history books as the best

engagement ever. Money is no object.

Think big. What shall I do?

TJ, ball in.

33.

He didn't write that.

This fella's got a few quid

and he's like, what?

Didn't crypto just crash?

How old is this email?

It's pretty new, so you must have got out at the right time.

This is your chance now.

We could

track down TJ

and see if he goes through with what you suggest.

Destination.

Destination.

Is there anything special?

Anywhere special? That is a special place to them.

It doesn't have to be

abroad or...

I think that's pretty good.

If you've got a place where you've connected

a first date even or something

that the destination being thoughtful.

Yeah. Destination should, yeah.

It's all about

being thoughtful, I think.

If you remember things she said

in the past, you know,

oh, I love this place. This is my favourite place in the world.

That place is the place.

Yeah.

Okay, ring.

Does he need a ring? Shout.

Yeah, he hasn't got a ring because he's not engaged yet.

Okay, so he's...

Well, if money is no object,

just get her a huge diamond.

Okay, go that way, TJ.

Think of the better.

He says size matters.

I know I'm just going to be in trouble for, say,

a big diamond, but let's be honest,

there's no one goes, I'll hit my dream

engagement, I want the smallest diamond you could possibly find.

Is there...

Is there, though?

Am I being a brat?

No, I think no matter where

your sort of...

You know, he's obviously got a few quid

and, you know, he can get a big diamond.

I'd rather have a huge fake one.

Dang, Monty.

Yeah, the ring,

listen, the ring's a personal thing,

but what else do you do? How should you do it?

Okay, ring.

So, apparently, he's got no...

He said to me, money's no object, right?

You could fly in

and jump out of a plane.

I don't know, it's hard because

I am a little...

quite sentimental

and I like the thoughtful things.

So, for me, it'd just be having

special things that mean something to them.

I genuinely mean that

and I think it's nice to be on your own.

What about if you're on a beach somewhere,

right, and you get one of those planes

that does the loops with the...

With the...

Stuff coming out the back.

Yeah, all the fossil fuels coming out.

Loads of fossil fuels.

Yeah, the chem trail,

whatever it is called.

Will you marry me?

It's just me and you on a beach in the middle of the Maldives

on a private island and that happens.

Yeah, that'd be nice.

You put, again, he's not saying it.

I've got an issue with them

messages in the sky,

because it's not out of your mouth.

It's like the plane's asking you to marry you.

Do you know what I mean?

It's not coming out of his mouth.

So, no fucking idea.

Good luck with that.

He needs to ask Floyd Mayweather

or something like that for ideas.

What?

Miss the money.

Yeah, because doesn't he really flash

like money guy?

Floyd Mayweather.

Why would you think that?

Because he's flash.

Doesn't he have all pictures of him

with loads of money and loads of cars

and he's very flash here.

He could help him.

All right, so we're not much help here.

Good luck with that, TJ.

Oh, God, I want to read this one.

See my name.

Agonyab, I need rescuing.

Oh, okay.

I've been seeing my boyfriend for four years

and he's proposed three times already.

And each time has topped

the previous for the world's

worst proposal attempt.

Oh, my God.

It just sounds like me.

We went for a bang average meal on a Wednesday night.

A bang average meal?

He's thought

on a Wednesday.

This is the one.

Wednesday's like the worst day,

isn't it?

Chiquitos or something.

We were talking about Chiquitos the other day.

I love the lazy boy.

We went for a bang average meal on a Wednesday night

a year into the relationship

and he just slid the ring

across the table

and gave me the how about it then eyes

and I was like absolutely not

and slid the ring back over.

I never even formally answered

and it hasn't been mentioned since.

Oh, my God.

Number two, we were on holiday in Paris

more romantic this time at least

and I went into our hotel

and I went into our hotel room bathroom

and put on my PJs.

As I came back out, he was naked on the bed

with the ring covering his private

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Night ruined.

His fella sounds like a legend.

We were at my nan's funeral

which was so sad

and everyone was distraught.

Funeral surely not.

During the wake after and in the middle of everyone crying

he just got down on one knee

and I said get up now.

We then talked about it after

and he said he thought it was a nice idea

to cheer everyone up.

He's having a laugh, I reckon.

He's literally taking a piss.

I'm now 33 and getting to a stage

where if he does another bad proposal

I think I'll have to end it there and then.

Is this unreasonable to want a bit of romance

or should I just run for the hills?

What a man.

Honestly.

He's got a bit of a ban to this guy.

It sounds like he's taking a piss to me.

He's going like, wait for this.

He's telling his mates.

I'm going to take it to Chiquita.

On a Wednesday in Park Royal.

Retail Park.

I'm going to slide it over.

And the second one, he's naked

and he's got the...

But if that was like Brad Pitt

or if that was in a movie, like True Romance

and they were just in some American diner

and they were just so in love

and he just slid the ring across and just looked at her

that would be like the best proposal ever.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, so you think it's actually...

because obviously it's not about the proposal

but it's about what...

What that signifies?

So in all honesty, if we went

to the local pub and I just slid the ring over

I still think it'd be quite nice.

I still think it'd be quite nice.

Yeah.

I don't even want to see men

naked full stop.

Never mind with the...

Never mind with the coppering.

If I did that, if I did that

you came out and I was like at the ring.

That would be ruined.

Yeah, that's not even funny.

That would...

because that's like...

that's taken the piss, I think.

The funeral thing.

I see where he's coming from there.

No, I don't. I don't get that at all.

Oh, I do.

I was trying to cheer everyone up with a wedding at a funeral.

It's a terrible idea.

No, I get it because it's like one chapter

closes, another opens.

It's like...

I'm so upset. That's a nice thing to celebrate.

I don't think that's that bad.

I wouldn't want my proposal at a funeral.

No, I don't think anyone would.

Do you know what I can picture this whole thing?

Like, everyone's crying.

I'm just pitching it now.

Everyone's crying, right?

And then he gets down and she just goes,

fucking get up.

And he goes,

you dickhead.

And then he just goes back to crying again.

He's someone...

I can't remember what's in this guy.

He sounds hilarious.

But you can see the nicest in that.

You can see as

where his mind's going there.

Can you?

Yeah, 100%. He starts to cheer everyone up, hasn't he?

It's just poorly excuses.

Yeah, I can see that.

It's brave.

I think it's just ridiculous.

It's quite kind.

Do you think?

OK.

What do you think she do?

Do you think one more bad proposal

or do I end it? Is this unreasonable?

Well, they've obviously got

a fun...

He's obviously a bit of a dope.

And she knows that.

I think she should accept him

for who he is and not

anticipate a perfect proposal because

it's going to be in his style.

He's probably going to mess it up again.

He probably will.

But I suppose, similar in lots of ways,

he messes up things up sometimes.

Yeah.

But I don't joke about it, but I reckon you do

not like it, but...

It's quite cute.

His heart's in the right place

is what I'm trying to say.

It's better than it not being in the right place.

Yeah.

Stick with it, sister.

LAUGHTER

I've actually really enjoyed that one.

Yeah.

It's sad though, it was so long ago.

Yeah, I mean, you know,

it's hard to remember at times.

It's like, you know, all the little bits

to it, you know?

That's why my dad keeps a diary.

My dad writes everything he does every day.

Good idea, that.

I know, I used to do it when I was pregnant.

But it's nice to...

God.

We were so in love then.

No, not.

What did you say?

No, you're not joking.

No, it's so nice.

I'd love to watch that.

You should have filmed it.

Why didn't you think of that?

It was a different time.

I didn't film everything.

Didn't have camera phones then.

Of course she did.

Didn't.

I had an Ericsson 1011.

LAUGHTER

I did.

You played Tetris and everything.

The old Ericsson 1011.

Ericsson's?

2011, was it?

2010.

2009.

2009.

2009?

I think it was.

Anyway, I didn't film it, unfortunately.

But, yeah, it's nice to go back over,

you know, which was a great moment.

And also those holidays, that whole time was lovely.

We had a really good summer.

We rounded it off by,

you know, me proposing to you.

With the perfect ring, in the perfect way.

With the perfect ring, yeah, in the perfect way.

It was quite good, considering I do get things wrong.

I'm really pleased I got that one right,

because you can only do it once.

And for me, it means, well, hopefully it is for life.

That means forever, doesn't it?

Yeah. That's what it's about.

Hence why we had Nicki Minaj moment for life,

as I was walking down the Islesung.

What the hell was that about?

LAUGHTER

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Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.