SmartLess: “Will Ferrell: LIVE in Washington DC”

Wondery | Amazon Music | SmartLess LLC Wondery | Amazon Music | SmartLess LLC 6/29/23 - 1h 14m - PDF Transcript

Hey, listen real quick, before we get into this episode

with the incredible Will Ferrell,

I'd like a moment of your time

to set the stage a little bit now.

Sean and Will and I, we went on a smart list tour last year

where we recorded 10 episodes live

in front of thousands of our biggest fans.

This episode with Will Ferrell was the first of 10

and was recorded live in Washington, DC, and guess what?

Right now, there are more live episodes

from our tour on Wondry Plus that you can listen to.

You can listen to these episodes four weeks early

and ad free on Wondry Plus.

After which, you can hear them for free

wherever you get your podcasts.

Find Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

Are we in the cold open right now?

We're in the, yeah, the show's happening right now.

Okay, so the cold open is right now.

We're about to do our first show.

Yeah, it's our first show.

That's our first, first, first live show.

What should we, should we let people?

Let's pray to the podcast God.

Okay, pray.

The podcast God.

What's, what's, what's-

Do you want to bring it in?

Is it a him or her?

It's a, it's all of them.

So it's a they.

It's everything.

It's everything.

It's everybody.

It's the world all inclusive.

Okay, what's the prayer?

And the prayer is-

Please Lord Pod.

Cat, pod person.

Please shine your happy, funny, light, lovely,

light on our stupid, stupid idea to go live with this pod.

And, welcome to smartless.

Smart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Smart.

Yeah.

Smart.

Yeah.

Smart.

Yeah.

Smart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Smart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Washington DC, thank you for having us.

Yeah, thank you for having us.

And please, above all things, manage your expectations because this was really, you

know, kind of a half a joke and then we got an invite and we said, well, maybe we should.

But we want to make sure you guys understand, it's just the three of us talking to a person

for an hour.

Yeah.

That's it.

That's it.

So, I hope you enjoy it.

Yeah.

I mean, there's not going to be any singing, there's no dancing, there's no...

We don't even know how to do it.

We sat down, we were backstage and we were dicking around.

Well, make sure you buy one of these.

Yeah.

Or four of them.

Or four.

But we were dicking around, we were doing sing for real backstage and Jason didn't want

to do it because he claims he can't sing.

I can't sing.

I don't even sing a show.

Sing for real that we talked about, right?

Have you guys...

Have we talked about sing for real?

No, I don't think so.

So, tell them what it is.

So, sing for real is, it started a long time ago, one of the big enemies of the podcast,

Justin Thoreau, JT from New York.

He did this bit where we would sing in the car and then he'd say, no, sing for real,

which means you can't do it as a bit.

You can't like embellish, you can't go like, you can't do it like that, you have to do

it for real.

Like sing the best you possibly can.

And it's so embarrassing.

Yeah, it's so embarrassing.

So Will, sing for real.

But you sing for real.

You've done Broadway.

No, no, no.

I like when Will does it.

So Will, sing for real.

No, I'm saying you know how to sing for real.

How do you sing for real now?

Yeah, you have to sing for real.

Give me a song.

Any song.

What is it?

Don't stop believing.

Don't stop believing.

Oh, yeah.

What are the lyrics?

Just don't stop believing.

Don't stop believing.

Right.

Hold on to that sweet.

By the way, it stops here.

We're not going around.

Hold on to that sweet.

Sweet feeling.

Yeah.

Okay.

Ready?

But now, but now he can't do a bit.

Like he can't make fun of the song or do it.

He has to really sing it really like he's really doing it.

Look at him fucking focusing.

It's the worst.

Okay, go.

Okay.

Ready?

Three, two, one, go.

Don't stop believing.

Right.

That was pretty good.

That was pretty good.

But now, now wait.

I want to talk about.

Hold on to that feeling.

Now you're doing it.

Yeah.

You're doing it.

You're doing it.

Wait.

I want to talk about.

Hold on to that feeling.

Now you're doing it.

He's doing it.

He's doing it.

Sweet like me.

All right.

All right.

So wait.

Listen.

Have you ever done any musical theater?

No way.

I'm pretty sure that just cost us about $150,000.

I know, I know.

Okay.

So wait.

Now listen, we flew and I've only been to DC once before.

I loved it, but I was here very briefly.

Sean, why don't you just relax and get casual

and cross your legs a little bit?

So we, uh...

Wait, why did I put my phone out here?

What am I doing?

You brought your phone?

I... Listen, I'm a doctor.

We were driving in from the airport yesterday,

and I said I wanted to know where a specific thing was,

which was a landmark.

No, you were driving along,

and there's some parkland or whatever, and you go...

And Sean seriously said,

is that where the grassy knoll is?

Or was it...

Not a bit.

Could not be less smart.

Oh.

I really didn't know.

I thought... Then you explained it.

Were we shocking how little both of you knew about anything?

That was a real shock.

Well, he didn't know.

I bet you guys don't know.

This came from the Washington Monument.

This was... This started.

The figure. You're claiming it was the middle.

This whole symbol started.

And keep giving it to them, for sure.

Yeah. No, this...

There's a great... There's a still.

Because it was...

Jason Bateman on stage in D.C.

immediately gives the crowd the...

It's a big... It was a big F.U. back to Europe

that we made it, we did it,

and look, we got a monument now,

and that's where this all started.

I don't know if that's true.

It's not, Sean.

I forgot. We didn't really close that up.

I had him kind of going out on the sidewalk,

and then we went on to something else,

and he literally just tried to get the real answer just now.

By the way, it should be in your defense.

This is coming from the guy who...

All your facts lately are from Maple.

Right, Maple. My 10-year-old daughter

spends a lot of time on YouTube

because it cuts down on my parenting obligations.

She... You know, when you say to an actor,

oh, break a leg.

I've always thought it's... You wish the person...

And my apologies to people over here.

You...

You say break a leg because...

Now only a good thing can happen, right?

She says, no, Daddy.

Break a leg means if you break your leg,

you get put in a cast,

and that's what you're trying to do when you audition

to get put into a cast, and that's where it comes from.

Apparently, that's a true story.

Don't... Too many facers are going, no way.

Here's...

They're all turning to each other, going,

is that...

Here's the best part, and then he goes...

And I said, well, Maple came...

Where did she get that? He goes, YouTube.

Like, if it's like, oh, oh, from the news.

I see.

Also, that's where all the facts come from.

Also, sand is called sand

because it's neither sea nor land, right?

Look, they're all looking at their neighbor.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I don't know. Let's verify it.

I think it's real.

But here's the other thing that happened today

that I've never done.

A day of firsts was we were walking,

Jason wanted to walk maybe another extra 25, 30 miles.

And all of a sudden, you were here,

Jason said, why don't we take one of those birds?

And I said, Marty bird.

And then, right.

And then he slapped me really hard enough.

But I'd never, and I was like, ah, you guys go,

this is too fucking complicated.

Like, how do you undo the thing?

And I got to sign up in the app.

Jason did it for me.

We rode these birds all around town.

It was the best time I ever had.

Yeah, yeah.

We took the bird from the Washington Monument

to the Capitol and then here to the arena or theater.

Now I get Marty bird.

You're always flipping the audience off,

even in your character name.

We're sneaky smart on that show.

What?

Can we speak to Marty bird?

Yeah.

Sure.

Wait, wait.

Let me get, let me get.

Sorry, the actor's studio.

Let me get my.

Is Marty bird here?

Let me get.

I'll get my, I'll get my dumb concern.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't you say that.

It looks a lot like my smiling face.

Oh no.

Jason this morning went for, he got sort of like,

sort of mad at me when we were in the hotel room.

And then he said, and I said,

do you know what your face is doing right now?

Cause they look at his face with this and he goes,

am I smiling?

No, you're doing the opposite of smiling.

We have covered this on the show.

If anybody is north of 40 in this audience,

are you not surprised?

I'm surprised.

When I watch, you know, as you do,

you watch a playback of stuff

when you're shooting something.

I know what I'm, what I'm trying to do as an actor,

I'm trying to have a certain,

but this is so heavy now.

That I look, I look concerned

when I'm just supposed to be listening.

And so to get, I think we talked about this on the podcast.

When I want, I have to tell myself,

when I want to just be level,

I have to tell my face to be semi-surprised.

It lifts, it lifts it just a little bit.

So now it's neutral.

So semi-surprised is all right.

And then if I want it to seem happy,

I have to think ebullient.

It's a long, yeah.

Cause in the morning I try to keep my distance from you

cause I'm like, is he pissed at me?

Or yeah, you're just like, that's my good morning thing.

Cause he's a little, he's a little bit grumpy.

I need, I am a little bit grumpy.

Yeah.

I'm moody.

And then you get your coffee and then you're good.

I am moody.

All right.

Oh man, we've covered a lot.

We're not even supposed to be talking to you.

We're supposed to be talking to ourselves, right?

I know, it's so crazy.

It's a little nuts.

It's a little surreal.

Did you just adjust the lace back then?

No, just a snap, the snap.

I'm wearing my sport piece tonight.

It snaps, but they come loose.

I didn't realize it was going to be so windy.

But the helmet, you slept and shaped it nicely.

Yeah, it keeps it.

Well, it holds it.

Yeah.

I'm not stupid, dude.

Look at these nice new clothes we're wearing.

I know.

We don't wear this on the podcast.

I kind of look the same.

We're pajamas in the podcast.

Yeah.

All right, all right.

Shall we?

Shall we?

Oh, you want to get going?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you, you have a heart out?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

No, I fell back.

How was that check in?

Did you guys enjoy the check in?

Showing your vaccination?

Did it take too long, right?

Where's your hat, Sean?

Where's my hat?

I know.

This is it.

No, I thought I'd not wear one.

You usually wear it.

That's a very valid question.

Thank you.

You know why?

Because otherwise, I look like a pedophile if I...

Can I watch your kids?

You know.

So I just tried it.

It just takes too long.

You only need a sitter?

It takes too long to do something.

So I got a lot of product in it.

That's why I wear a hat.

I'm like, I'm too exhausted and old.

Now, did Scotty tell you not to wear a hat on the tour?

Yes, he did.

He did, right?

I knew it.

Yeah.

He's like, you're not going to go out there

looking like an asshole, are you?

Yeah.

And you thought the hat, you think,

you thought taking off the hat would do it?

Right.

All right.

This is your guess, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

So.

Drink up.

Oh, yeah.

And just, by the way, just to remind people,

we don't know who this is.

We just, John, legitimately don't know who it is.

So we...

We never do.

We never do, but we've carried this on.

Actually, the exception is Kamala Harris

and Stacey Abrams, we all knew about

because there was a lot of apparatus to organize that.

Yeah, yeah.

But other than that, I think we've always not known.

Not known.

And that is totally legit.

But this took some doing

because this person is backstage

and they had to be in a certain area backstage.

They had to be brought here from out of town

and they had to, so it was a big deal

to keep it from these guys.

And some other people on the tour know who it is,

so we keep on having to say this special guest.

Now, do you have questions on you?

Do you have your intro memorized?

I don't have my intro memorized.

My intro's gonna, I'm kind of winging it.

You can keep them out.

I've got my cards.

You can keep them out.

I don't want to hold them.

I don't think you understand the concept of winging it.

You can't look at fucking notes.

Those are my questions.

Those are my questions, not my intro.

Okay.

Here's something.

I've never admitted this to you

because you do your little intro sometimes

which are obviously written right before.

Yeah.

Right before.

How about you?

I'm not good.

I spend time on mine.

Here's an admission.

I've never written one.

You never write?

That's clear.

You never write?

I've never written an intro.

Oh.

Really?

No.

Because we're gonna get to them.

Did you write one for this person?

I did not.

No, this person doesn't need an intro.

Oh.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

This person legitimately is someone

who has worn many, many hats.

Oh.

This person has been, this person was a cop.

As a cop?

America's mayor?

This person was a cop.

He was coming out?

I would like that interview.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Turn up the heat in here a little bit.

Get some sweat going.

Great.

We got our first cut.

We got our first thing we have to cut.

Why is that bad?

That'd be a good interview.

So this person has been a cop.

This person has been a race car driver.

This person, I'm telling you this person

worn a lot of different hats.

This person has been a figure skater.

Elizabeth Banks.

This person is America's best friend.

This person has been a basketball player.

This person has been, and will always be,

to me, the funniest guy that I know,

Mr. Will Ferrell!

What?

Woo!

Look at you guys.

Wait, he's got...

That's a Vax card.

It's a Vax card.

That's smart.

You did it.

I knew you were on the fence, but you did it.

That's smart.

I'm so mad at you.

OK.

I asked you, is there a dress code?

You said...

You said...

It's formal.

Tuxedos and cool sunglasses.

You specifically said...

That was when it was going to be in Toronto.

And I swear, I don't see anyone on a tuxedo.

Wait, Will, did you fly in today?

I flew in yesterday.

You did.

This is so nice of you guys.

I know.

I mean, truly.

I'm happy to do it.

You guys didn't have to pay me the fee that you're paying me.

They don't know.

Is that the same outfit you wore on the plane?

OK, you guys flew me first class accommodations.

I was not allowed to bring a change of clothes,

so that was the stipulation.

We don't need it.

Yeah, remember when people used to dress up on a flight?

Yeah.

At least my dad tells me no one does it anymore.

I'm trying to bring it back.

My mom was a stewardess or flight attendant for Pan Am.

Their outfits were incredible back in the day, right?

With the bowler hats, is that what it's called?

Yeah.

And everyone had to wear a suit and tie in first class,

I think, right?

Yeah.

And to be fair, just to catch that mistake you made.

It's just to underline it and highlight it.

Oh, stewardess.

Yes.

At the time she referred to...

What I was going to say was in your defense at the time,

she referred to herself as a stewardess.

Well, that's what it was called back in the day.

You used to call her a waitress.

She used to call her a waitress.

But why did they switch it?

Guys, it's a long tour.

I know.

It's going to be a long tour.

Let's not get to you real tonight.

And you're wearing Pan Am colors.

The Pan Am classic.

Blue and white and a little bit of teal, right?

Wasn't there teal?

And splash of gold.

Splash of gold.

Right for the wings.

Did you have the travel, the shoulder bag?

The Pan Am shoulder bag.

Oh, sure I did.

I had all the swag.

And we used to be able to ride with mom for free

if there's empty seats.

Right.

And then I would help out mom serving dinners to people.

I'd walk her.

No, you didn't.

Are you being serious?

No, you didn't.

On my life, yeah.

I'd walk down with their tray and get into it.

Well, your parents had you working even on vacation.

This is on an actual flight.

This is on an actual flight.

Unbelievable.

I flew all around the world for free.

He was thrilled to do it.

Thriiled to do it.

Now, we had to be in suit and tie, including my sister.

No.

But you had to be dressed up.

And you couldn't check a bag, because we never

knew if we could get on the plane or not,

because you could only get on the plane

if there's empty seats.

So you had to be carry on bags.

Oh, sorry, man.

So let's get back to Will.

OK.

It's February.

Sure.

It's pretty much the start of the year.

So I thought I'd read my New Year's resolutions.

Good.

We're going to double back to the Pan Am story,

because he's got something he really wanted.

He really did the audience a favor.

Stop saying pun unintended.

That's a good note.

Because I love puns.

Whenever I use it, I mean it.

OK.

Because otherwise, you just wouldn't say it.

Why?

You're not going to do it if you don't intend to make a pun.

It's like saying, hey, murder unintended

after murdering somebody.

Right.

I'm just.

He's trying to wiggle in a promotion for Murder Bill

coming on that deadline.

No.

They applauded pretty quick.

They're aware of it.

They haven't seen it yet.

They haven't seen it yet.

It's very good.

That's kind of you to say.

I mean, keep talking about it.

Really commit.

I really want to commit this year

to referring to all money slash cash

as cheese or cheddar.

Fully commit to it.

And fully commit.

And $100 bills as blue cheese.

So I'd like.

Yes, I'd like to.

Can I have a couple of those in blue cheese?

Well, at the ATM, you can request.

Yeah.

Or like you call your account and you're like,

how much did I need that?

How much blue cheese?

How much blue cheese we got?

Because I got a big spread.

Yeah.

I'd love for you to say your agent calls

and says, well, we've got an offer.

And your only thing is, how much cheddar are they offering?

Right.

Next person that says to me age before beauty,

I'm going to knock out.

You just don't like it.

Uh-huh.

OK.

Say 2022 in the house as much as possible.

Eat more vegetables.

Sure.

Well, that would make a lot of sense.

That's a good one.

Yeah.

Do you guys not look at him and just fall in love?

I just swear I could just stare at it.

The funniest man in the world.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Please.

No.

Drink at least 50 liters of water a day.

50 liters.

That seems like a lie.

Do something special for a random stranger every day.

That's nice.

That's nice.

You got your pick.

Buy their coffee for them.

Help someone cross the street.

And then ask a stranger to do something special for me.

Just do it.

Just pick one.

This comes back to getting the face of flight attendants

because I have rights too.

That I think has a head full of steam already.

Just follow that trend.

Yeah, I got it.

Never buy a pack of cigarettes again.

There's plenty of half-smoked butts out there with at least

two or three drags left on them.

So you just got to look on the ground.

Don't shake your head at me.

Wait, that might go double for cups of coffee.

Right.

I got a lot, by the way.

I got a lot.

I'm glad this list is so long.

I mean, you should have said...

Well, you don't follow through on all of them.

By the way, if this list is like even five more minutes long...

It would have been nice if you started with Buckle Up.

Tell my wife I love her at least once a month.

And then treat myself to a nice piece of jewelry.

Remind myself daily that I ain't afraid of no-gos.

That's good.

Thank you.

Can you forward these to me?

I will.

Thank you.

Really try to stop breeding exotic big cats.

Mostly tigers and jaguars.

Really try.

Mostly.

Put all my money, all of it, every last penny.

All the cheddar.

In Bitcoin.

And do not look back.

Take down my Christmas tree.

And we will be right back.

SmartList is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Now, there are times when I'm feeling my feet firmly underneath me.

And other times where I'm kind of wobbling around, you know?

Mentally speaking, if you know what I mean, Shawnee.

And then I like a little bit of help.

And what's better than better help?

Do you see it?

Right?

Okay, that's...

How are you feeling today, by the way?

I feel pretty good.

Like today, I wouldn't bother the people at BetterHelp today.

It's nice to know that they're there when I do need it.

I mean, you know, sometimes in life, we're faced with tough choices, Sean, you know?

And the path forward isn't always clear.

Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, or anything else,

therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life.

So you can move forward with confidence and excitement, right, Sean?

Trusting yourself to make decisions that align with your values is like anything.

The more you practice it, the easier it gets.

But seriously, folks, therapy is something that's really helped me through a lot of things in life,

especially in the last 10 years of my life.

So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist

and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge.

Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash smartlist today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelphlp.com slash smartlist.

Friends and loved ones feared he met his fate through bad luck

and a group of hungry alligators leaving his young family behind.

Except that's not what happened at all.

And after 17 years, a kidnapping, and the uncovering of a secret love triangle,

the truth would finally be revealed.

Enjoy Over My Dead Body, Gone Hunting on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus.

Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wondery Show Business Wars.

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And now, back to the show.

Avoid slipping into vocal fries so much.

Right.

You guys know what that is.

I just found out what that was about six months ago.

You know, when you talk like that.

It's like Valley Girl Speak, right?

That's going back a bit.

Every sentence sends in a question mark.

Nah, it's talking like, you know, like that's, isn't that vocal fry?

Wait, give us one more example.

I don't want to do it again.

All I see are two cameras over there and I don't, I can't do it again.

Thank God for the internet, huh?

Because that will haunt you for so long.

By the way, Willie, again, this is starting to read like a manifesto, but go ahead.

Chicago, Chicago PD, Chicago Fire, Chicago Med.

These are the three shows you're promising to watch this year?

No, I'm just, I just love, I just love them.

You love them.

It's actually an ad.

It's actually an advertisement.

That's a paid ad.

It's a paid ad that I snuck on the smart list.

What the fuck?

Thank you guys.

Speaking of Chicago, you look dangerously close to Harry Carey right now.

Oh, did I?

Yeah.

I'm trying to egg him on just a little.

Chicago PD.

What I love is it has all the thrill and excitement of the inner workings of a police department

with all the backyard knowledge of Chicago.

Wait, you know, I'm from Chicago and it sounds exactly like you.

What's more excited than solving a homicide at Wrigley Field?

I'm sorry.

I got a lot more.

Should I just stop it?

No, listen, I mean.

Our guests don't show up prepared.

Okay.

You know, this is, what a challenge.

Okay.

I'm going to speed, I'll speed through.

I don't really have questions.

Try to work on my intense hatred of manatees.

Yellowjackets streaming now on Showtime.

Blue cheeses, man.

Second half.

Second half.

Hollywood has got you.

You don't know how much blue cheese I just landed right there.

Well, not yet.

Not yet, but when this airs.

Okay.

All right.

Finally, finally changed my name to DaBaby, unless it's already taken.

Or finally changed my name to Yay, unless that's already taken.

Oh, no.

You're good.

I can't spell it.

Y-E.

No, that's taken.

What is it, Yay or Yee?

Well, I thought like Y-A-Y isn't taken if you want that.

I just want Y-E.

You can't have it.

Taken?

Taken.

I don't know.

I mean, if you, if you're pronouncing it like that, the way you're doing it, I think that

you're good.

I mean, I should preface it by saying I'm not a lawyer.

Wait, does Kanye want it pronounced Yay or Yee?

Yee?

You see, you're hearing both.

Yay.

I just thought of a fourth one, Chicago Law.

Oh, Chicago Law.

You can play a lawyer.

Shit.

By the way, now this is like a trademark thing.

That's early Mac Davis.

Sounds like Terry Seattle.

He does.

Terry?

Terry Seattle.

Remember to talk louder on my cell phone when I'm in public, especially on an airplane.

Eat more roadkill.

More.

We all ate roadkill at least one meal a week.

We'd reduce our carbon footprint by 25%.

You almost couldn't get that one out.

You liked that one.

Land voiceover contract for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

What the fuck?

Uh-oh.

And, and don't be sorry about it.

Don't be sorry.

Yes.

Don't be sorry about it.

Good luck.

Will, can you roll down your sock a little bit more?

Sorry.

Just get it all the way down.

Calvin Klein.

Jason and I got an argument for real just before the show, because I did have a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Also a paid ad.

And Jason said, in that way, he goes, oh, this is so funny.

I said, how long you do?

Thank you, Will.

They're really funny.

Thank you, man.

I actually stop and watch them every time I see them.

Thank you.

It's so nice to get a compliment from a friend.

Oh.

Fuck.

I mean, the hours we talk about Ozark.

The last great commercial I saw was the Dodge thing that you did way back when.

Remember that was for Dodge, wasn't it?

Have you done a commercial since then?

I did one for GM.

Oh.

GMC.

Not GMC.

Not GMC trucks.

No, not GMC.

So you did GM.

He does GM cars.

That's the C part, right?

GMC is a truck.

What's GM?

That's the big overall company.

Yeah.

That's the big overall merchandise.

Do you talk about light trucks?

No.

I mean, we're talking about professional grade vehicles.

And we've only been doing it for 23 years.

Look, here's the point.

Whoa.

And we're not...

Is that like a world record in voiceovers?

I don't know.

It might be, but I try not to...

Someone Google it.

I try not to talk about it in front of people.

In front of a packed theater of people?

No.

Because it's gross, but...

But you love it.

I love it.

But you're a good match for it because you are kind of a professional grade kind of guy,

right?

It fits him.

Thank you.

Well, the voice alone is like a truck.

It sounds like a truck.

It's burned out.

Who sings that song, Believer?

Don't stop believing?

No, Believer.

Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.

Is that on the list?

That's on my list.

Say that more.

The last one is...

Imagine dragging your...

Uh-huh.

Which is not really a resolution.

It's just a reminder to take chances.

Uh-huh.

And be more spontaneous.

Yeah, yeah.

Even though it's on my list.

Well, it makes me think being...

This is my last one.

It's not finished.

It's not done.

Okay.

This is my last one.

I don't know.

Remove all and repeat all of my music from Spotify.

All my albums.

There we go.

All my albums.

All of them.

All of them.

Do you think?

Cupcake party.

All the way back.

Revolution yesterday.

Not on there.

Grandma's unicorn.

Jesus clown.

That's a B-side.

Even the B-sides.

Get them all.

Get it all.

And, well, why?

Here we go.

Here we go.

Why do you want me to cut?

Because.

Because it's a bad platform.

Yeah, it's a bad platform.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you have a lot of glitches.

Yeah, a lot of glitches.

And your music is pure.

Is that it?

We're getting there.

We're halfway done.

That was it.

That was it.

That was it.

Will Ferrell's New Year Resolution.

So sitting here thinking and being...

That's our time.

Oh, wait.

Hang on, he's getting a call.

Are you FaceTiming?

Wow.

Will, Will, I got to say, sitting here on the stage, I was going to say, and doing that,

and I was thinking, and with all these people here, do you miss, and I know we've asked

you this before, but how much do you miss performing every week like you did for a long time?

Well, you guys are in front of an audience.

Are you yawning right now, Sean?

Am I what?

You were kind of yawning, weren't you?

Oh, I've been yawning for 20 minutes.

Sean, Jason forced Sean to walk a lot earlier today.

You guys were on the birds all over the city, I heard.

Yeah, we did the birds, but it started as a walk, and then this is after exhausted.

Okay.

I'm not.

You make me laugh harder than anybody I know.

But Angel didn't sleep last night, right?

I didn't sleep.

I got up at like three or four in the morning because these guys are like out, like they

do the switch from West Coast to East Coast.

I'm like, I need like two weeks and I don't have it.

Right.

But it should be, you are a little bit tired.

I'm okay.

Why is everybody on my back about being tired?

Because you were yawning when Will was...

I was not yawning.

I went like this with my thing.

Okay.

Good God.

Do you know...

Look at the foot.

The foot's gone.

Maybe it's a different problem.

Do you know what a yawn is?

I'm pretty sure I can identify a yawn when I see it.

You know, I was doing...

I did a small scene in a movie with Kevin Hart and I was doing my...

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And we're doing my single, right?

So the camera's on me and the person that you're talking to is behind the camera.

Right here.

So, okay.

Right.

So Kevin Hart's face is right here and I'm talking to him.

We're in the middle scene.

Hollywood.

He's in the bounce guard.

Falls asleep.

He fell asleep.

Well, I'm...

Well, he's off camera.

Camera's rolling.

Who?

Kay Hart?

Kevin Hart fell asleep while I'm doing my single.

Wow.

I'm talking...

Literally his eyes closed and I thought, well maybe...

Finally somebody has the guts.

And then...

While you're performing to do what...

Has Kay Hart been a guest?

No.

That'd be a good one.

Yeah.

You guys could break that down.

I'd like to talk to him about that.

Yeah.

Let's call him.

Is that phone still on?

No.

Let's get him.

I want to go back to this thing.

Do you have a problem like I do with the changing?

Because you travel a lot too.

And that's the thing I don't understand about you guys who do like movie after movie after

movie after movie is like, how do you adjust and then have the energy after 14 hours to

just get up and go like...

Be funny.

Ambien Coke.

Yep.

Okay.

Those are the two that splits in the old Dopp kit.

The old Dopp kit.

He taught me.

He told me years ago.

Two Dopp kits.

One's brimming full of coke.

You've been open about that.

It spills out every day.

You're really open about your cocaine use, right?

You have been for a long time.

I've never, I've never hidden that from anyone.

Right.

Not a soul.

Yeah.

The kids.

You know what backstage?

It's a true story also.

This is that we were trying to figure out.

Jason was like, what is a Dopp kit?

What does it mean?

We looked it up.

Do you know why it's called a Dopp kit?

Does anybody here know?

What?

Do you know what a Dopp kit is?

Do you know what I'm saying?

It's got to be.

Damn.

Some people refer to it as a toiletry bag or a shaving kit.

Dopp kit.

It was anybody?

Germany.

Germany.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And what about it?

This is all the point where we're trying to root out the Germans.

He's right there.

Get him.

Right there.

Right there.

Dopp kit.

Dopp kit.

That's the same word.

Dopp kit.

His son is pounding him right now.

Do you see?

No.

He was a guy who was a leather smith in Germany and he came up with a toilet bag and it became

the Dopp kit.

Was his last name Dopp?

Doppelt.

Okay.

Does that sound right to you, sir?

Yeah.

Well, of course it does.

The German.

I wanted to ask you this before.

Who is your favorite historically SNL performer?

No.

Historically.

Like, so you can go like before you, like when you were a kid that you watched and you

were like, I love what that person does.

Other than Gilda.

Other than Gilda and Jim Belushi.

Or John.

Or John.

No.

Eddie Murphy.

Pretty tough to beat.

I feel like it all kind of happened in various increments.

Right.

For me, it was Dan Akroyd.

The first time I started because I just thought, oh, that guy.

Who was the other guy?

Dan Akroyd.

No, I thought you said somebody else.

Have you seen him?

I thought you said a second person.

No.

Under your breath.

No.

Okay.

I was about to.

I was about to.

But you have a beef with Sean a little bit.

No, you guys have been fighting for years.

Tell them about your fight.

Don't make me pull up the emails.

I mean, they're scathing.

I emailed Will today and I said, Sean hosted once and we just got off on the wrong.

He just came in all sassy.

I think we talked about this on the podcast maybe before.

So forgive me.

But one of the hardest times I ever laughed in my entire life was when we hosted and you

came out and you didn't tell us in a sketch with you and Jimmy Fallon that you came out

and with a little tiny phone.

Jeffries.

God, that was so funny.

And what was the other thing you did?

Oh, and you came out on a scooter which you didn't do in rehearsal.

Did we not have the...

No.

It was like...

It was a little jazzy.

Yeah, the electric...

Oh my God, it was so funny.

There was no reason.

Will.

It was so funny.

Dan Ackroyd.

Yes.

Eddie Murphy.

Yeah.

And Phil Harman, maybe.

Yeah, Phil Harman.

The great, the great Phil Harman.

Bill Murray.

Let's not forget about Bill Murray.

Bill Murray.

But you know what he is.

Not to disparage any of your cast members.

No.

But those guys...

Let's do that too.

Yeah.

Okay.

These are the ones I hate.

Yeah.

These are my bottom three.

Okay.

Bottom three.

Yeah.

You guys...

You go first.

I know.

I don't have my bottom off.

But wait, do you like...

You know what's so funny about...

Because, you know, it's kind of like when you have a teacher in school and you see them

at the grocery store and you're like, oh my God, it's so bizarre to...

I didn't see you as a real person.

I didn't see you as doing anything else than teaching in that room.

And so for me, I always see...

You've done so many movies and they've been so successful.

And everything you do, every appearance you do, you're always so unbelievably funny.

I always picture like, what does he do on a day...

What are you doing now other than doing this?

What do you do when you're not movie to movie?

It's terribly boring.

Yeah.

It's very...

What does a boring day look like in your life?

Okay.

Take one of my children to school.

Just the one.

The other one is learning at home?

They don't deserve to learn.

They don't deserve...

We draw straws at the beginning of the school year.

We have what's called the private school tuition bucket.

And we've only got enough money for one kid.

By the way, he has stallions, by the way.

Our kids go to school somewhere near one another.

And everyone's in love with his kids.

Like, these are models.

One of my boys maybe sort of knows your daughter.

Hey man.

Through friends.

So you see where I'm going with this.

My daughter's bedroom walls are filled with the young feral...

No, I'm kidding.

But yeah, nice gene pool there.

Thank you.

So, boring day.

Not so much my way.

I have a feeling it is similar to my boring day.

Probably close to your boring day too.

And yours as well.

Try to exercise in some way.

Little drop off, little exercise.

Work in some lunch.

What's your lunch look like?

No, but I mean...

Quiet.

Quiet.

And you know about his unhealthy relationship with food.

Go ahead.

No, but I bet he...

I think you are a healthy eater.

I don't know what I'm basing that on.

I think you're basing it on the nice fit of the suit.

Well, I used to see...

But I also used to see Will out jogging.

We used to be in a similar jogging loop.

So you like...

You enjoy a healthy body.

So you're putting good fuel in that body?

A lot of laughter during healthy body though.

By the way, can I thank him for all of us

that he's so willing and generous to show his body

in almost everything he does?

Yes.

I mean...

You love...

You love getting...

The crumb cake hairdo on the chest is just...

That's a lot.

It gets me going.

That's two and a half hours of makeup.

Oh, that's so good.

I am.

I'm like a kindle.

You're like a kindle.

You know, I'm just...

Shade down like a channel swimmer.

Yeah, channel...

Exactly.

That's just a chest and belly plate you put on?

I remember sitting at a screening preview

of some movie where I was shirtless.

Literally behind an audience member who went,

oh, boy.

Oh, no.

Here we go again.

It's so good.

That and the other...

I remember going to...

Sneaking into a movie to see it on opening weekend

when there used to be opening weekends

and listening to one kid go,

he's got a lazy eye.

Look at him.

He's got a lazy eye.

I'm like, I'm sitting right behind you.

I'm sitting right behind you.

He's got a lazy eye.

I'm sitting right behind you.

I sat right behind...

He's got a lazy eye.

Do I?

Do I have a lazy eye?

I sat right behind Ron Howard

in this wonderful film that he directed

at a screening for like 12 people.

It was the first time he screened.

And right when it was done,

he turned around and I go,

and he goes, oh, hey, Sean, I go,

hey, is the picture locked?

I have a lot of thoughts.

Did he go, or he was like,

you're not having me at all?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it was his baby.

I was sitting next to somebody

in a movie theater,

packed movie theater for a very, very good movie.

It all sold out.

It was one empty seat in the house,

and I'm sitting in the back row,

sitting next to somebody,

and they don't...

We haven't looked at each other.

They don't know who I am.

And a trailer comes on for a comedy

that I have...

A trailer was not that great.

Not one laugh through the whole trailer.

Trailer ends,

and then there's the silence

as it goes black,

and then another trailer's about it.

But during that silence,

this guy thought it'd be funny.

He goes, no thanks.

And then...

It echoed.

And I was sitting there,

I'm thinking,

well, that was pretty good,

but wouldn't it be better

if I just tapped him right now?

Yeah.

Because I think my face

was like the last face on the trailer.

Like, he's gonna know.

He's gonna recognize.

And I did.

You did.

You did it.

I tapped him on the shoulder.

No, at first I squared up to him,

so I knew as soon as he turned

to be looking right at me,

I tapped him, he looked right at me,

and I go, not for you.

But then we were buddies,

and we were laughing

the whole way through the next day.

Nobody delivers that shittiness

better than you.

I swear to God,

it's the fucking best.

But he killed it,

and he got a huge laugh

with the no thanks.

But have you ever had those,

have you ever had those people?

Have you had at a premiere of something?

Yeah.

People come up,

this happened to me,

parents of someone who worked on the film,

dad grabs him by the shoulder,

he's like,

I don't care what they say,

I loved it.

Yeah.

I was gonna say,

Oh, what did they say?

They're already saying it?

Yeah.

It's not even in the theaters yet.

I've had friends,

like specifically friends

that you grow up with,

and then you go back to your home town

and go back to Toronto.

I had a few friends go like,

got that last one, huh?

Not very good.

As if like,

hey, we're inside,

and I can say to you

that what you do for a living sucked.

And you're like,

yeah, I guess,

I mean, we haven't agreed on it,

but I guess now we have,

so thanks.

I had this friend come back

after a show I did,

The Promises,

The Promises on Broadway.

Yes.

And that, yeah.

Everybody up.

Everyone up.

Promises, promises.

Promises, promises.

Take a bow, Sean.

Amazing.

Take a bow.

Take a bow.

Take a bow.

Take a bow.

Take a bow.

Do one, do one.

What have you done?

What have you done?

Can you do one song from it?

Just a little bit.

No, and this,

and this person came up,

I didn't know this person

very well,

and they said,

one sees such a performance

and one can only say,

Sean Hayes.

Sean Hayes.

Yeah,

that's sort of bittersweet.

Yeah, I love those.

It hurts.

No, it's not.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

No, it's not so bad.

It's fine.

We'll be right back.

And now, back to the show.

Now, Will,

Hey, speaking of acting.

What?

Uh-oh.

What do you say we all do

a cold reading of a scene

from the OC?

Sean, you'll play Luke.

I thought who?

Sean, you're playing Luke.

Jason, you will be Seth.

Okay.

You'll be Seth.

And they're all highlighted.

Each of our lines are highlighted.

You're going to play the part.

You're playing Marissa.

None of us are prepared.

None of us are prepared.

I'm Marissa.

I'm Marissa.

For you.

I'm Ryan.

Okay, wait a minute.

Yes.

Wait a minute.

I have to say,

by the way,

yes, what Jason just said,

you were fucking crazy.

Like, this is...

Today.

Am I?

But can we just say,

can we just say thank you?

Nobody ever comes on prepared.

This is incredible.

Look, he's got index cards.

He hasn't even gotten to yet.

I'm just trying to make you guys laugh.

Hey, I'm playing Marissa.

Okay.

So you don't have to thank him,

but we're gonna...

Everyone, this obviously is a cold read.

So...

Everyone familiar with the show OC?

The great OC.

Okay.

What was the song, the OC?

Anybody?

Oh, sing it.

California, here we come.

And in the band...

I did that.

California.

Sing for real, Will.

Sing for real.

I would, but I can't remember who it was.

That one.

All right, let's get to it.

Okay.

We're gonna sing it after.

Sorry, you got a fucking dinner date?

It is unbelievable how much of a rush you're in.

Okay, we are interior diner day.

Yes.

Okay.

In a casual little restaurant by the water,

Seth, Ryan, and Marissa eat a meal.

Okay?

That's your setup.

Here comes the dialogue.

Say, guys, I've been thinking about a plan.

You know, right now,

this could very well be the first stop

on our pancake tour of America.

Hey.

Like on the road.

Like a woman.

You're Marissa.

You're Marissa.

I got this, you guys.

That's offensive.

Yeah.

Right?

Is it offensive because you think you sound plenty

like a girl?

First of all, first of all,

I'm not auditioning for you.

Hey, like on the road.

There you go.

That's good.

That's my favorite book.

Mine too.

So here's the deal.

Yep.

My mom had this boyfriend.

He hired me to work construction last summer.

But then they broke up.

He moved away to Austin.

In Texas?

Seth, if I was ever out there to look him up.

So, well, I mean, well, that's really kind of far.

We were thinking like long beach or something.

So we could all hang out.

I'll need to get a couple of days work so I can get a little

bit of travel money.

Well, I mean, we can get you money.

Ryan looks away uncomfortable.

Marissa and Seth seem to get the point.

Well, I mean, you know,

I guess in a way you're kind of lucky.

You get to move to a whole new place.

Start over.

Be whoever you want to be.

That's really not so bad.

Luke.

Luke and a couple other guys walk in banging on the door,

banging the door on purpose and being rude and noisy in general.

Hey, putts.

What's it take to get a menu around here?

It's great.

It's great.

Yeah.

It's great.

Okay, I'll handle it.

And it does say Marissa stands up.

Oh, thank you.

That's all right.

That's all right.

I'll handle it.

And ruin your popularity.

Hey, you know what?

Why don't you guys just sneak out back?

Marissa gets up and heads for Luke's table.

And ruin your popularity.

What's going on with you two?

Hey.

Oh, sorry.

Marissa kisses Luke on the cheek and then takes a seat with him.

And then takes a seat with him.

There we go.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I mean, you want the job or not?

Okay.

Ready?

Luke says, how is the manicure?

Oh, it was great.

While Marissa distracts, Ryan and Seth quickly leave their booth

and head for a hallway toward a back exit.

Marissa, you know what?

She distracts Ryan and Seth quickly leave their booth

and head for a hallway toward a back exit.

Marissa notices Seth and Ryan walking through

and keeps talking, distracting Luke and the guys.

So what did you guys do today?

Seth and Ryan try to hurry up.

A Luke notice system.

Hi.

Hey, guys.

How are you guys doing?

You look, you like the food here too?

Pretty awesome.

Here it comes.

Say it, Sean.

Shut up, queer.

Writing still holds up.

It still holds up.

Okay.

Seth says, well, at least I don't shave my chest.

Nice.

Luke gets up.

Thank God.

What'd you say?

Luke, come on.

I was just saying you look nice in a sweater vest.

It was a compliment.

Luke gets up and Seth's face.

All right, bring it.

We got it on its feet real quick, by the way.

We're just workshopping this.

You want me to break you, Cohen?

Hey!

How did I miss this episode?

This show seems great.

Just six pages left, guys.

We're almost there.

You guys have been so patient.

Thank you.

Okay.

So then Luke says, no way.

Look who's back.

Here he comes.

Oh, wait.

Cue Luke.

Oh, I got it.

God damn it.

No way.

Look who's back.

You know, you're a little far from eight mile.

Luke, don't.

What are you?

What are you?

Like spokesperson for Geeks of America or something?

Nice.

That's a sick burn.

They all laugh.

They all laugh.

Oh, right laugh.

Here comes Big Finish.

Do you know what I like about rich kids?

Ryan punches Luke in the face.

Hard enough to throw her back onto the table.

Nothing.

Seth says, that was awesome.

Your asses, you're dead.

That's it.

Thank you so much.

I'm sorry.

I mean, after a rough beginning.

Arnette killed it.

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Will Ferrell.

I have a dumb fan question.

Yeah.

Fan is, I mean, it's a really dumb question.

Here we go from these two idiots.

What is your favorite movie that you worked on?

What's a favorite role?

What is something that you love to do that really sticks out to you is like.

He can't tell his favorite.

We love his movies, right?

We love Will's movies.

But what was the one that you just like had the most incredible experience?

You were proud of the results, all of that kind of stuff.

Well, blades of glory.

Blades of glory starring Will.

Will, do you guys know how you really pronounce his last name?

The witch?

Arnette.

Arnette.

Arnette.

Actually, he's writing notes.

In Canada, he's Arnette.

Arnette.

It's true.

He moved down here and he started elongating it for some reason.

Wait a second.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Hang on.

He knows that because my parents.

He's your parents.

My parents.

He knows.

My mom and dad are, I was like, no, we'll Arnette.

Willi.

Willi.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Willi Arnette.

I didn't know that.

Guys, this changes everything.

Can I borrow your shades?

Can I borrow your shades?

Can I borrow your shades?

Can I borrow your shades?

Can I borrow your shades?

Can I borrow your shades?

Can I borrow your shades?

This changes everything.

So, Willi, if your mom and dad introduced himself to somebody,

they would say, I am Mr. or Mrs. Arnette.

Arnette.

No, no, no.

Now they say Arnette because they want to get the bump from being my parents.

Yes.

Oh, got it.

That makes sense.

I'm just being honest.

No, but they do.

They want the juice off of that.

No, but they do say, they do, my dad says, yeah, Jim Arnette.

Wow.

Yeah, we've talked about it.

So, he's been living a professional lie this whole time.

It's true.

It's true.

So, my question.

Yeah.

Favorite?

Yeah.

Which one makes you laugh the most?

And it doesn't have to be about you.

It could be somebody else in it or...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The one...

Which one?

I heard Elf.

I heard Kicking and Screaming.

I heard Old School.

I heard...

Zoolander was pretty ridiculous.

The one that makes me laugh the most is...

I can't do the best.

That's right.

I think it's something really obscure.

I would say, in terms of overall, if I had to pick one, it's Anchorman.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just because...

Yeah.

Like that.

No.

Like that.

Like that.

We love Anchorman.

Elf.

What was your show called again?

What was the what?

What was your show?

My TV show?

My TV show?

No, your Broadway show.

Promises, promises.

There was a thundering standing ovation for promises, promises.

Yeah.

It was true.

Yeah.

Not so much for Anchorman.

Not so much for Anchorman.

But that was like we were playing with the house's money.

It was like, why are they letting us make this?

Will, when you went and pitched that movie to...

What's his name?

Husband and wife team were the producers.

Yes.

Walter Parks?

Yeah.

Right, right, right.

And Will, apparently, this is legendary stuff.

Will walked in.

He was wearing a huge...

They were trying to get the money to make Anchorman.

And you and McKay went in.

Well, we had to go in for a lot.

We knew it was not looking good.

Yeah.

People just didn't...

We didn't get it.

Getting the idea.

And so we're like, let's just go and mess around in a picture.

Fuck around.

And you had a huge foam cowboy hat.

Yes.

And in the middle, Will's across from Walter Parks who's making the decision to make it.

And people were talking and Will stared him down and then just interrupted and said,

I think I'm falling in love with you.

Will also came.

We had an engagement party years ago and Will showed up wearing a hat that said, I'm number

one.

To my...

It's cool.

Remember that?

And you also used to...

You had a hat...

The Patriots had a 19 and 0?

19 and 0.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That you wore to...

To Boston.

To Amy's parents house.

Yeah.

After they had just lost the Super Bowl to go 18 and 1.

18 and 1.

You know, they make those hats in case they win.

They make the hats so the team can put them on.

And if they don't win, they destroy them or they send them to like some other part of

the world where they can use the hats.

Yeah.

And so I had to...

People say that about our merchandise.

Yeah.

So it said Patriots perfect season 19 and 0.

19 and 0.

And a buddy of mine got me one and I wore it up to Boston Thanksgiving dinner.

And I think Amy's dad was like, Will, not funny, get that hat off.

Dude, that is not fucking funny.

Look at this guy.

Fucking Joker.

I'm from Canada.

Hilarious dude, Ashley.

Bill Polar.

Hilarious dude.

Love that you found a 19 and 0 Patriots.

I know.

That's crazy.

I think I still have it somewhere too.

You know?

So the...

I lost the I'm number one hat.

Did you?

I don't know what happened.

It was a great one.

But the...

So on SNL where you can pick a character, write a character, and it only has to last

three, four, five pages.

So if it doesn't work, you never have to do it again.

If it does work, you can repeat that character next week.

Or with a film, you have to go make this full commitment into oftentimes a brand new character.

Is that more scary for you that like, well, I can't change it now.

I got to do 120 pages of this character over the course of a few months.

Like, is it...

How do you like the stakes of those two things?

We're laughing at something.

You're blowing up.

You're burning.

You are burning to look at that.

This is your next interview.

We've gone over.

Emoji thumbs up.

Can't beat that.

You can't beat that.

Is it nerve wracking?

Oh, he's gone.

I, you know, ignorance is bliss.

I don't...

You don't think about it.

Yeah.

For better or for worse.

Charge ahead.

Same stakes of doing one that lasts for one sketch versus a whole movie.

You're either picking up the debris later or somehow it...

Let me ask you this.

You land on your feet and you're like, oh, that worked.

Let me ask you this.

Have you ever done a film where you come in on the first day and you're doing one of

these incredible characters that you do and you pull it off, you take huge swings, you

always pull it off.

Am I wrong?

I'm right.

Have you ever had a director that doesn't have a great sense of humor that might go,

huh, can I talk to you for a second?

And on the very first day, they don't get it and they want you to make a big change.

Has that ever happened?

We have to talk to them.

Luckily, that has not happened.

Yeah.

We shared pretty well in that department.

But I have had those moments and we might have talked about it when we did the podcast...

I don't remember yesterday.

A year ago.

When did we do that?

Almost two years ago.

Almost two years ago.

Wow.

So many gummies between then and now.

Oh, I'm sure.

So many.

I got six in me right now.

But that was the experience of...

Well, the two Dopp kits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dopp kits.

Uh-oh.

Get more Dopp kits.

Note to self, freshen up cocaine Dopp kits.

Running low.

But that was kind of the experience on Elf in the sense that I just finished doing Saturday Night Live

where a lot of that stuff pushed the envelope.

Here I was doing this PG family Christmas movie.

Running around New York City in my yellow tights.

Yeah.

Sitting in my little...

Not even a...

My half-banger trailer in front of the little electric heater.

You're right.

And just looking in the mirror going...

So it was you that had the self-doubt.

It wasn't Fatherell.

Was it it?

Huh?

I was just like, this could be it.

Yeah, you know what that...

Will, that's a good point.

It's a tight second to It's a Wonderful Life is the best Christmas movie ever.

Yeah.

Right?

But that's a great point.

So it's a big swing.

You're doing this character of Elf and you have...

That's the thing is you have no fucking idea if it's going to work or if people are going to laugh.

But did you feel pressure from being on...

This being your first movie and did you feel like all eyes are new?

Let's see if this guy's got it.

Well, a little bit and like I said it was...

It was an old...

Like old school was in the can but it hadn't come out yet.

Oh, really?

So it was just like...

For my sister Tracy in the can means...

Just for people who don't know what in the can means.

In the can means shot but not yet released.

Yes.

And I don't want to say that because I want to make you mad because I know about your hair trigger temper.

But Tracy almost got more applause than a...

Don't think I did it.

Don't lock that up yet.

Don't...

Don't fucking don't do it.

I'm going on such a bender tonight.

I'm going to run around those monuments with a spear gun.

Fueled on cocaine, screaming Tracy's name.

When you used to be addicted to day old seafood, remember?

Don't get me going.

Day old lobster.

Day old lobster.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I get it.

But yeah, so old school was in...

Yeah, so yeah, that was just such a huge...

And James Kahn, Jimmy Kahn, who was fantastic and we're so lucky to get him.

Another moment at a premiere, a comment, he was like, great job.

I got to tell you.

Because he didn't think so during...

He said, I thought every day you're way over the top.

Yeah.

You could see it on his face in the movie, but it works for the character.

And so I think he literally was like, what is this guy doing?

He probably fired his agent six times during that shoot.

Yeah, so that was like prime example of...

It's all about process.

Don't try to judge it too much.

Just keep plowing ahead because you could look at it later and be like,

oh, that was working the whole time.

Well, your commitment is just, we're so lucky.

Yeah.

Let's thank Will Ferrell, everybody.

Thanks, you guys.

You're the best.

Thank you, man.

You're the best.

Keep that.

I want to give you something now.

Keep that.

Right this way, William.

Do I leave?

Yeah.

Okay.

This way, do I go?

Just right off the side of this one.

Thanks, everyone.

Come on, Bill!

Come on, Bill!

Come on, Bill!

And just right...

He's already on the phone.

He's already on the phone.

Look at the string on the back.

She's giving a cigarette butt.

And he left his cigarette butt.

He left his cigarette butt.

You guys got Will Ferrell.

Yeah.

How...

Nice job.

I just thought, I thought for our first show,

I wanted to have somebody who's a friend of the show,

and he was one of...

He was the first person that we actually interviewed.

It wasn't our first broadcast,

but the first guy that we interviewed.

And I just wanted to have it to be like a friendly,

you know what I mean?

Make it be like a home game.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

I mean, I meant what I said.

Like, I'm such a...

Like, everybody is such a massive fan.

He's never not funny on a talk show appearance,

on a movie, on a TV show,

on anything he's so prepared.

By the way, and he came...

This is hilarious.

She's holding us.

Oh, my God.

Let's have that.

She's holding us.

She's got a bunch of buys for us.

This is incredibly helpful right now.

Because this is...

We need to start thinking up

how we're going to get out of here.

And let's see here.

Let's...

Well, I'll tell you what.

So you guys take a look, and I'll take a look,

and then...

I was going to talk with some more nice things about Will.

No, no, no, I know.

But you can upload this, and then back...

Put it right there, so the audience can't see.

Huh.

And they don't know.

This is really cheating, though.

It's called the Endless Good Byes.

I feel like if we use one of these, too,

we could get sued.

Oh, good point.

Good point.

So anyway, so he shows up...

I was going to say,

he's never not funny at everything he does.

I mean, the fact that he brought us these...

Like, he worked on scripts to do for us tonight,

and then all of the other bits that he came out with...

Like, that worked.

Like, you have to write that and think about that.

So nice of him.

He's always prepared the nicest guy in the world.

Super...

He, um...

Super, super funny.

You know, when we did Blades of Glory,

the first thing I...

We...

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

And it was like the first big movie

that I did coming out of Arrested Development.

And Will...

Thank you.

And Will...

Oh, wait, really quick.

Who went to the premiere of that?

Of Arrested?

I know, of Blades of Glory.

I didn't.

You did.

Were you there?

I was there for you.

Oh, you weren't?

Jason got mad for real again today

about the fact that Sean and I

have vacationed together a few times.

But we love you.

Really?

Yeah, you're invited.

You're invited.

We were invited.

But what I was going to say is...

Like, of course, Will is hilarious.

And he's, like you said, super well-prepared,

always does a funny bit, always does something

that you wouldn't think of.

Special.

Yeah, really special, interesting.

But on top of it, he's the senior.

He's the guy, you know, he's already making

these incredibly funny, great movies.

And I'd known him for a few years,

but I think on the set where that's his milieu,

if you will, like that's where...

And he was so gracious to everybody in the cast

and me by being, you know, he was just

always very generous.

Well, that's the sign of a big superstar.

Like, you can't be an asshole.

Yeah.

I mean, you know, if you have to treat everybody

equal, just work hard and be nice.

I have that up in my office.

Just work hard and be nice.

And one day...

One day you're going to do it.

And we can't wait.

We really can't.

This has been...

I love you too.

Oh, you're the one who saw it.

Thank you.

We...

That was a funny script.

Really funny.

We love Sean too.

Oh, you would check these out?

I'm not going to look at those.

Okay.

That's a great question.

I'm not going to take any more questions from the audience

other than, have you watched the rest of the development yet?

Sure.

What character does he play?

He played, remember, I call it Job.

No, no, no, I call it Gov.

Gov.

But...

I call it Gov.

But it is what?

It's Job, yeah.

And?

Wait, no, you are...

Give me the first letter of your...

No, no, no, no.

Just the first letter.

Am?

Wordle.

Can we talk about Wordle?

Oh, let's do it.

And one of the other things is our big joke is like,

oh, great, yeah, send us your screen grabs at Wordle.

And also, tell us what you think about the Beatles documentary.

But...

I can't wait.

And how is your work situation like succession?

It's not.

But here...

So we did Wordle for the first time yesterday on the plane.

And so, of course, we were making fun of it.

We hadn't done it.

And, of course, it's great.

And then today, today, Jay goes,

all right, can't wait for the next one.

We're like, no, it's only once a day.

It's only once a day.

How does that work?

And then everybody gets the same word?

Yeah.

Is that right?

So how are you not like seeing that on Twitter at the top of the day?

I don't...

How is this catching on?

Because people have other stuff to do.

Yeah.

Oh.

By the way, all these buys are...

Thank you for the effort.

They're all useless.

They're not...

They're all...

They're not like...

Oh, I guess some of them do work.

No, that one's good.

That one's pretty good.

You know what?

You know what?

You know what?

One of my favorite...

Here we go.

Now, that's Sean right there.

He's about to do his buy.

We always have to pull him back from the brink.

And it's going to be the worst.

You know what?

One of my favorite characters that Will played...

With that Will Farrell played.

It was in Talladega night.

What was his name called?

Ricky.

Ricky.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

We met the exotic big cat named Will Ferrell in our country's capital... and we let him out of his cage. (Recorded on February 02, 2022)




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