SmartLess: "Tom Holland"

Hey, so, you know, right off the bat,

I'm not sure if you guys are aware of this.

Listener, you two, this is the start of our fourth year.

We have completed three years as of yesterday.

Right.

Today is the first episode of our fourth year.

So it's our birthday, third year birthday.

Sorry.

I mean, we look terrible.

We look terrible for three years old, but we feel good.

We feel young.

Listen, I'm breathing in the fourth.

And we wouldn't be in our fourth year

if it wasn't for you guys.

That's true.

Thank you very much for listening and caring

and giving a poop about anything we have to say

for God's sake.

Thanks for not getting sick of Will and Shawn yet.

I mean, it's...

It's surprising.

It's surprising that you're still here.

Yeah.

Maybe a little thanks to our team.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, shit.

And thanks to our...

And Ben didn't want me to mention thanks to the team,

who does it?

Bennett and Rob and Michael.

Bennett Barbacau and Robert Arnyarv.

Arnyarv.

Arnyarv.

And Michael Terry, who without them,

well, we'd still make it happen.

I mean, we would just be back.

Our wings would not flap as fast.

We would not fly as high.

We just want to be good.

We would do it, but it would just, it would suck.

That's certainly true.

They make our lives better.

And I also want to say a shout out to the woman out there

who commented on one of our posts and said,

Arnette, we'll just shut up.

And just say, you're heard.

Anyway, happy birthday to us.

Happy birthday to us and to you guys

and all of the Smarties out there.

["Smarties Out There"]

Guys, here we are.

Yep.

And it's a podcast.

Yeah, let's get podcasting.

And so, yeah, exactly.

So how do we get into podcasting?

Do we do any stretching or anything like vocal exercises?

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

Yeah, I'll do like a vocal, like red leather,

yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.

I guess you're laughing.

Red leather, yellow leather, yellow leather.

How about you try that?

That's interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes.

All right, here we go.

It's an all new Smartless.

What?

Smart.

Smart.

Smart.

Smart.

Smart.

Here comes Jay.

Here comes Jason.

Uh-oh, everybody be nervous.

Everybody be nervous.

What are you wearing?

I'm wearing...

It looks like a 12 year old shirt with a...

What's happening?

Listen.

He's playing golf today.

Yeah, but with a long sleeve on?

Well, that's...

And it's gonna be warm out, dude.

UV protection.

Okay, I'm trying to be smart with the sun.

And I'm also trying to be stylish at the same time.

You know, I've got on G4 here.

You can't go wrong with that.

Oh, boy.

You have a little fashion forward, you know?

In your hair.

It's just...

It's just a handsome.

Forward towards...

Careful.

I know, I know.

Yeah, okay.

And the hair...

Just because you can't pull it off.

I wear foot joy, which is what I'm going to title this.

I wear the Heritage Brands.

And you can't pull that off.

You can't pull off a Heritage Brand.

Oh.

It's not in your DNA.

You know, speaking of DNA, you know what today is,

Jay, you know, I talked about it with you last night,

but Sean, you're gonna be excited.

I'm...

I've had to have coffee with no cream this morning, and...

Oh.

Wait, now, did you start?

What do you mean?

Well, I started in a couple of hours today.

Yeah, I got it.

My first ever colonoscopy tomorrow.

Oh, so you can't do...

I see.

You can't eat anything.

Wait, that's tomorrow,

so you're doing a cleanse today?

Yeah.

Are you starving?

Yeah, I'm starving in our chicken broth.

But I really...

I've done this like three, four times.

Why they're making you do it in the middle of the day?

Three, four times?

Yeah, well, I had a situation back when I was 30, I think.

Yeah, no, I was with you.

I was with you.

You were 34.

I think you triggered it.

Jason and I were doing a scene from Rest of Home.

We were in a fight scene,

and all of a sudden he went like white as a sheet.

Like he was just like...

It just happened.

He's exhausted.

I just couldn't go any further.

I mean, you know, Will's a bit...

You know, he's like wrestling,

they're wrestling a boa, you know?

It's gonna take some energy out of you.

Sean knows, he tried to wrestle me on the lake,

the frozen lake in Wisconsin.

The frozen lake in the dark.

Oh, yeah.

Well, and the funny of this fight was supposedly

that it just went on and on and on and on.

You know, that was the joke.

And so he tired me out.

And we did have to do it for a long time.

Yeah, and I was like, I shouldn't be this tired.

I'm not this out of shape.

And so I went and saw a doctor and I'm like,

oh, you're battling something.

It turned out to be something in my GI.

So anyway, they should only have you do this

like starting at like 6 p.m.

So you're on the throne for a few hours.

You go to bed, you wake up and you do your procedure.

But they have two options, right?

You could go five in the morning or like it.

I'm going five in the morning, yeah.

Oh God, that's the point.

You should be able to eat all day, I think,

and then clean out at night.

They claim no.

They gave me explicit instructions starting this morning,

do not eat anything, only have bone broth.

I should call Gwyneth.

It gets to her bone broth, actually.

Could you start eliminating it?

I have not, no, thank you.

They also said that they now do the procedure

in a big shower room.

They have an operating room that's also doubles as a shower.

Is it the Bateman?

Is it the Bateman ER?

Yeah, it's the new Bateman wing at Cedars.

So you can clean as you go.

Baby colonoscopy's in the shower now.

Everybody's in a bathing suit.

It's kind of hot.

Sean, if you, oh yeah, no, you are, yes,

you get the famous story about you told them

to leave your rear door alone.

You said don't touch my asshole

right before you went out into the shower.

But wait a minute.

I talked to a guy yesterday who had 35.

Wow.

He said 35.

He sounds like a little bit of a fetish.

What do you mean 35, what?

He said 35 colonoscopies.

That sounds like a masochist and little shop of whores, right?

Wouldn't it, don't Murray play that in the movie?

He just keeps going to the dentist

because he loves the pain.

Yes, nice.

Remember that, there was an episode

of Arrested Development too.

I know, everybody's like stop mentioning Arrested Development

but where Cross's character became addicted

to the side effects of a dragon, wasn't that?

Well, I know you got a hair transplant

and the hair transplant rejected the body

instead of the body rejecting the hair transplants.

So his hair just kept growing more and more and more luxurious

and his body was just atrophying.

But he didn't want to reverse it

because the hair was so beautiful.

So he was willing to die.

I remember him saying something about

he used the word shunt at some point.

Anyway, so, but tomorrow I'm expecting to be like 20 pounds.

Yeah, yeah, I can't do a lot of selfies tomorrow.

Yeah, when that bite comes out of your colon,

that'll eliminate about nine pounds.

You're gonna be like a great white shark.

They're gonna cut you open.

There's gonna be stuff in there, Willie.

Do you know how much ice cream

they're gonna find in there?

I know me too, Mike.

Is that your, well, who were we talking to the other night?

Who eats a pint of ice cream every night?

Other than Sean?

Oh, no, Will's Jimmy.

Does he eat a pint of ice cream every night?

A pint of ice cream every night and he's a lean man.

He's a thin man.

I was like, well, Sean, you're pretty lean

and you eat like you're going to the chair.

I do, I do have ice cream almost every night,

almost every night.

I do too, I go through phases where I'll have.

But I lose it the next day.

Yeah. You know, falls off.

Well, we found it and you see, you found it again.

Well, my cookie pie.

If you're looking for it, it's on your face.

Okay, let's get into our guest.

Wow.

Guys, I've really upped my game today

in the cool department.

This is my guest.

I don't know, I'm not even cool enough

to ask him the dumb questions I have.

You've upped your game to the cool department, got it.

Wait, this is something you've written.

You don't need to ask the dumb questions, by the way,

you can just go with the flow.

No, I know, but I come prepared with some dumb questions.

Did you write this intro?

That's rare for you.

This must be somebody you have respect for.

I did, I did write a little bit of it.

Yes, you write yours.

I write mine.

I do, yeah.

Willie just likes just kind of freestyle.

Today guys, we know him as a superhero

and Hollywood heartthrob.

His lip sync battle mashup of Gene Kelly and Rihanna

is still one of the most talked about

and watched celebrity lip syncs of all time.

Gwyneth Paltrow famously doesn't remember

being in a movie with him.

And before he entered the Marvel Universe,

he was performing ballet every night in the West End.

It's the infectious, lovable Tom Holland.

Wow.

Woo.

Hi guys.

Good morning, Tom.

Tom, can I call you Tommy?

Of course you can.

Tommy, you've been on my list for like two years

and I've been trying to get you to come on the show.

This is so exciting for me.

You almost said a year and then you doubled it.

Yeah, I know.

I almost said a year and then I remembered.

It's been like two years.

Wait, now Tom, you're a golfer.

I'm mad to go.

What do you think about this beautiful G4 shirt

I've done in here?

It's pink, it's got some...

Something G4.

Well, it's a great company.

I want to give them some props.

I'm not sure about the underlayer.

Yeah, but there's sun out here.

Let him talk.

I tell you what, actually, Jason, my brother Harry,

we were shooting a movie in Atlanta,

I think probably at the same time.

He was at the Bobby Jones driving range and saw you there.

We were going to go play golf, I think, weren't we?

And he said to me, I said, did you say hello?

And he said, no, he's nursing a pretty intense slice right now.

I didn't feel like it was the right time to go and say that.

I would have struck him with my butt with my club.

Just ripping slices off the tee.

Tom, I heard that, by the way, great to meet you, man.

I heard from a mutual friend that we have, actually,

that you are a great golfer and he claims

that you're like a two.

Can you confirm that?

I'm not a two.

No, I'm a four.

Oh, yeah.

But I played this weekend.

I just went up and stayed to play golf,

to get away from the city and enjoy some golf.

I was one over the front nine with some serious golf

being played and 13 over the back nine,

completely capitulated.

Well, it's because you're working too much.

You need to be a less good actor

and you won't get hired.

You know what they say?

They say, if you're shooting over 80,

you have no business playing golf

and if you shoot under 80, you have no business.

Let me ask you something.

I don't know anything you're talking about.

What would my number be?

130, probably.

Yeah, probably.

A guy who probably has never played before,

you'd get a triple bogey on every hole.

So that's three times 18 is, what, 56?

56 on top is, yeah, that's about 130.

And you're a four, Tom?

I'm a four, but I'm a loose four, you know?

I couldn't consider myself to be a true four.

I just had some lessons.

I haven't had lessons.

I'm a loose 130.

How did you get so good at golf?

You're so young, doesn't it?

It takes a lifetime to become a four, doesn't it?

I think I just played as a kid.

My dad was really into it.

It's the thing I've always done with my dad

that we bonded over, that I've always had a lot of fun.

And then I gave up for a long time

when I just thought it was boring as a kid.

I just couldn't get into it.

And then I was on set of Spider-Man 2

and I was outside.

I ended up speaking to one of the Chippies on set

who was building some sort of spaceship or something.

And he ended up playing golf.

We were shooting at a golf course.

We all ended up going out playing golf.

And we all became best friends.

I have a collection of like 10 people.

If I'm back in London, I play every single day.

And they're all, I mean, they're like plus one,

plus two, like proper, proper golfers.

So I'm constantly chasing them.

But I had some lessons the other day

with this guy who's fantastic.

And I know that what he's saying

will ultimately make me a better player.

But right now I'm fucked.

Like literally I'm missing both ways,

fattening it, thinning it, missing parts.

It's tough out there right now.

I'm gonna try to work all this after now.

Well, you're hitting all the stuff I wanted to talk about.

Your questions are gone, I guess, though, right, Sean?

Oh, I thought you were gonna say something like,

well, you're hitting it out of the park

with your career, Mr. Holland.

Let me talk to you about...

Well, that would have been better.

By the way, happy belated birthday.

Thank you.

June 1st.

June 1st.

June 1st, yeah.

Well, how old does that make you?

27, mate, 27.

Good for you.

This is such a young bird.

Do you guys remember what were you doing at 27, Willie?

Well, I wasn't crushing it, I tell you that much.

Sean?

I got Will and Grace at 27.

Did you really?

Yeah.

There you go.

27 years old.

I loved Will and Grace.

I was always watching that.

My mom and I, when I was a kid, fuck me, that was good.

Oh my gosh, it was.

God bless you.

I thought you were too young to know what that was.

No, absolutely not.

I love that show.

You were born in Kingston upon Thames, is that how you say it?

Or Thames.

Thames, yeah.

The River Thames, yeah.

Which is, I'm an idiot.

West London, right?

Correct.

And you still live there?

I do, yes.

And who's in your house?

In my house is me, my two brothers,

two of my best friends live with me.

Wait a minute.

That I went to drama school with.

We have the most timid version of what a frat house would be.

We're all obsessed with golf.

We get early nights,

and we're on the tee early in the morning.

So.

Can I move in?

I know this is our dream come true.

You can.

I actually have spare space, please.

I've finished renovation.

I'm living with somebody that has a deep allergy to golf,

and it's not great for my game.

I'm just picturing Jason living with all of you 20-somethings,

and there's a 54-year-old living with 27-year-olds.

Keep it down out there.

Yeah, do you have room for a really grumpy, hungry 54-year-old?

Oh, I know my salads won't get eaten in the fridge.

That's true.

Those will be safe.

So, hang on.

You're two brothers and two friends

that are in the house with you?

Yeah, so it's me, Sam, Harry, and then Harrison and Twain.

And we're all in there together.

It sounds so good.

It's a pretty harmonious experience.

Everyone kind of does their bit.

We look after the house.

Someone cooks.

My brother, Sam, thankfully, is a professional chef,

which is a touch.

Like, you come home, and he's practicing and doing what he does best,

and you get gourmet food every night.

Does he cook for you every night?

Every night, yeah, it's glorious.

So he's rent-free, then, right?

Oh, absolutely rent-free.

And how much do you want to bet there's a big TV in the house?

There's a glorious TV.

I just actually put in a little drop-down screen for movies,

and we play poker, put the golf on, and sit down.

It's a vibe, man.

Well, that's what I was doing at 27.

Listen, if you were ever in London,

and you want to play some poker and watch the golf on a Sunday night,

this master's weekend, past weekend,

one of the best weekends of my life.

Yeah.

Tom, keep it going.

Be 27 when you're 27.

Just knock it out of the park.

Good for you.

So you're the oldest of four boys, Tom, right?

Yes.

And your parents were both artists.

Tell me about growing up with your mom.

Like, what did your mom and dad do?

So my mom's a, she was a photographer.

And it's sort of like a lifestyle photographer.

Like, she'd take families out to the park

and take pictures of them and do that sort of stuff.

My dad's a stand-up, and he has been since he was 21, I think.

Does he still do it?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he's still gigging all the time, and he's a pleasure.

He's hilarious.

I can't bring anyone over to my house without him absolutely

just ripping them a new one.

And as a young kid, I have to prepare my friends.

Just so you know, my dad's a stand-up.

Especially when I was young, I didn't understand what it was.

I was like, apparently he fucking goes out

and tells jokes at night or something.

I don't know what it is that he does.

But he's going to take the piss.

And you guys basically provide him material, right?

100%.

Does all the family stuff work into his sets?

Yeah, there's a few things.

I've been to see him like a half of the times

when he'll allow us to go and see him.

And I don't know if he like plays up to it,

that we're in the audience, or if he, you know,

if that's what he's like all the time.

But it's pretty ruthless.

Bless my poor mum.

My mum has got the thickest skin of anyone

I've ever met in my life,

because the shit that he comes out with,

I mean, he did a, he did a charity gig for my school once.

So all my mum's best friends are there.

All my kids, all of my school friends are there.

All the school teachers are there.

And the shit that he was coming out about my mum.

It's a terrible idea.

But the thing is, is she finds it hilarious.

She's sitting there laughing.

She gets the last laugh and she's an amazing lady, my mum.

Jason doesn't stand up.

He's got one joke.

It's great.

Well, which one?

Oh, God.

The only one you've done.

Please, please don't.

Oh, God, watch it.

He says it out every episode.

Oh, God, it's the worst.

I don't know how to tell it, but it's funny.

Just trust me, Tom, all right?

So, and all your brother, everybody's in the biz.

Well, sort of, I mean.

Except for the chef.

Except for the chef.

He's a caterer, onset caterer.

We could get him in there.

Trap him in the cage that they keep those.

But everybody works as actors, no?

Paddy's an actor.

The younger one's an actor, but he's too young to really say he's an actor.

He's like still at school, still enjoying himself.

He is lucky enough to be working in the summer and enjoys it.

I don't think it's what he feels 100% that he wants to do.

But he loves it and he's really good at it.

He's super, super talented and he's very natural.

My younger brother, Harry, who's here with me in New York right now.

He's a young, aspiring filmmaker.

He has his first short premiering tomorrow at Tribeca, which is super exciting.

Oh, nice.

Oh, that's cool.

Congratulations, Harry.

That's great.

Thank you, yeah.

That's really cool.

We'll be right back.

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All right, back to the show.

Does your dad, like, does he hang out with other comics?

Were there other comics around the house growing up?

Did you spend time with...

Are those his mates?

I remember, like, as kids, like, going to barbecues and stuff, and being aware of the

comic scene and, like, knowing them as dad's work friends, and just thinking, like, wow,

dad has, like, the strangest group of friends, like, they are really sad people, man.

Like, I thought you were supposed to fucking make people laugh.

And my dad is, like, my dad is a very happy, go lucky, you know, positive guy.

I feel like my dad's a giver.

He comes into a room and he gives a great energy, and, fuck, some of his friends come

in and you're like, wow, what happened to that guy?

You know?

And then you see him on TV and you're like, he's hilarious.

I think he's fantastic.

It's a tricky one.

Is his brand of humor, my mother's British, and so I got kind of, like, a dry appreciation

for dry humor.

Is he dry like that, or is your humor dry like that?

He's dry.

I'd say I'm pretty dry, too.

He lets the material do the talking.

Like, he's not a performative comedian.

Like, he really trusts his material and he relies on the joke and he knows it's funny.

So he doesn't add to it.

Everything is very kind of one note.

But I like that sort of thing.

It means the material has to be better.

And are you drawn towards comedy stuff?

Do you want to start banging out a bunch of comedies and do that kind of thing, or what?

I've always, always, always wanted to do a comedy and it wasn't too long ago I was

doing, I was in Brazil and I did this show for, I think it was Spider-Man 2 or Spider-Man

1.

It was like 7,000 people in the audience and I was on stage for an hour with a compare

who was like asking me questions and stuff.

And it was the greatest experience of my life because I felt like a rock star.

Like everything I said, everyone would fucking laugh.

So I called my dad and was like, dad, dad, I just did like an hour on stage and like

I fucking ripped the shit out of it.

Like let's do this.

Like help me write some comedy.

And he just hung up.

He was like, yeah, that's never happened in time.

Really?

But yeah, I'm not bold enough to step on stage and do what he does, but I'd love to do a

comedy one day.

Who are some of the actors that make you laugh that are like, are you like a Will Ferrell

fan like me and those folks?

Or do you like comedy that comes a little bit more from actors that are doing a character

as opposed to being broader?

I guess Will does really deep characters that are, like he, those characters.

I love Will's stuff.

I love his ability to improv.

The stuff that you do is my favorite without a shadow of a doubt.

Well, but I'm not being funny, funny, like Arnett or Ferrell or folks that really know

how to get people.

I'm the guy you turn to, to sort of like the guy who's not laughing.

Yeah, but that's funny though.

I like that.

Yeah.

It's that dry humor.

It's similar.

Right.

Yeah, I love it too.

I fucking love that line you do when you said, when you're like driving in a Prius or something,

is it in Horrible Bosses?

Oh, right.

Yeah.

No, I say that.

He's like, you were drag racing in a Prius?

I don't win a lot.

I should make better choice.

Tom, one of the things I think is super cool is that you're a straight guy who took ballet

lessons.

Like I think that's, you know, not that that straight guys can't or just gay guys do or

whatever, but it's like, you know what I mean?

It's just, it's, it's, it's refreshing to see you tackle that and nine years old.

Was that what it was?

Yeah, I was, I was, I was training for this show on the West End at the time called Billy

Elliot.

Yeah.

And I went to like a very traditional rugby school.

I was pretty good rugby player as a kid and then everyone just grew and I stayed the smallest

kid even today.

I couldn't compete in the under 12s league.

I'd be too.

Taking some injuries.

Yeah.

And I just, I remember like getting bullied at school and trying to convince people like

guys, there's me and 30 girls in tights on a daily basis telling you like rugby is not

where this is at.

Yeah.

Join me.

But I could never convince anyone, but I loved ballet for me as an actor, like, especially

doing things like Spider-Man that are so physical.

It comes in handy.

It's been such a great resource to rely on and that's that I've lost every ounce of

flexibility.

But you, you, but you're obviously a big, and you mentioned that you played rugby, but

and, and that you are physical and that you're, that you like sports, you like golf.

I, I saw you waving the checkered flag at Monaco last, last week.

Yes.

That was crazy.

It was great going to those races, wasn't it?

Dude, like one of the best weekends I've ever had.

I took all my brothers, I took some friends and until you've been there and like seen

it for real and hearing it and hearing it and you feel it right when they, I mean, it's

insane.

And it like, you can feel your ribcage, especially there too.

All those engine noises going through all those buildings through those corridors is

just.

And also like at the end of the day, like qualifying is done.

They open the track.

You can walk from restaurant to restaurant via the track and like see the tire marks

across the floor.

It's, it's unlike, I love sport.

I'm obsessed.

It's like, it's, you know, I'll watch anything that's on telly.

Yeah.

Do you watch, are you a, are you a big football fan?

I'm like a soccer fan.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm, yeah.

I'm a Tottenham fan, regrettably.

Are you?

Yeah.

It's tough, man.

Man, this is a tough spell you guys are going through.

I mean, you've got that new manager, but still it's a tough time to be a spurs.

We didn't garroth play for Tottenham, Willie.

He sure did.

Yeah.

We played golf with Gareth a bunch.

He's a good golfer I had.

Really good.

He's a two.

Yeah.

He would love him.

He's a nice guy.

He's got a really pretty swing, doesn't he?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Willie, you into your soccer?

Do you sport a team?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm a Liverpool supporter.

He lives for it.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm a massive, massive supporter I watch.

I was at World Cup.

I mean, I'm a massive fan.

Oh wow.

How did you come to Liverpool?

My partner, my writing partner, not just to clarify.

Yeah.

We know you're straight.

I don't know.

I'm just...

I would do ballet too, by the way.

I have no problem.

Come on.

Let's do it.

I'll start.

I would.

I would.

Mark Chappell, the great chappy whom these guys know is a Liverpool.

He lives in London, but he's a big Liverpool supporter, and he got me into Liverpool.

Okay.

And I was saying the other day, I wasn't really as aware of it.

I mean, I love any sport.

Jason's the same.

I'll watch anything.

Totally.

I got into soccer, football like 12 years ago, and once I got into it and got deeper

into it, I'm a massive hockey fan growing up in Canada, and then football has now surpassed

hockey, I think.

I just...

I can't get enough of it, man.

Do you guys know all the chants?

Yes.

I think it's so cool that there's chants.

I wish we had chants in baseball, you know?

Some of the chants.

Like, I remember going to see a basketball game in New York, and people like, dude, you're

not going to believe the atmosphere.

Like, it's going to blow your socks off.

And then you get there, and it's like, let's get louder.

And I'm like, shut up.

Let's come up with something better than this.

Wait, Jay, they have that organ.

I'm curious.

That's it.

It's a one-word chant.

The chants in football in Europe and in England, in the Premier League, not only are they so

good, some of them are so clever and hilarious.

And they just sound haunting as they go through the credits.

It's terrifying.

And you go to some of these places.

You go to Versailles.

You go to Marseilles.

You go to Germany and Dortmund and see these teams, like, the way they rally together and

how song just, like, explodes out of people somehow in unison.

I don't understand how it happens.

That's a true home field advantage in my favor.

The first professional football match I went to was in Madrid for Atlético Madrid at their

old stadium.

Unbelievable.

And I was not, and it was a Sunday night game, I remember, like, sort of eight o'clock,

when I was not prepared for the chants and the feeling in the crowd.

Nobody sat the entire match.

Everybody was standing.

And it was electric.

Wow.

Just even if you weren't a fan of the sport, as a human being, it was an experience.

Now, are you still watching rugby?

I like rugby.

I mean, I love rugby.

I love the sport.

I think it's amazing.

I don't love rugby culture.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

Rugby culture is so much about, like, how much can you drink?

Let's all get as drunk as possible.

And I don't drink, so I'm a little bit, like, out of that world.

Right, right.

Do you ever see Australian rules?

Aussie rules is crazy.

Yeah.

It's sort of a hybrid of soccer and rugby.

It's good.

Have you ever been to one of those matches down there?

It's amazing.

I haven't.

It's somewhat like, have you ever seen Gaelic football?

Oh, yeah.

Gaelic football is, I guess, like, the Irish equivalent to Aussie rules.

But another sport you should check out, I think it's called hurling.

Yeah, hurling.

And they have, like, a hockey stick, but the end of the hockey stick is slightly wider.

Right.

They have, I think it's a wooden ball.

And they basically, like, flick it up.

And they catch it on it, and they're bloody, they're bruised.

Yeah, it sounds like you can get hurt.

It's brutal.

It's savage.

It's sort of like, it's polo without the horses, right?

Exactly.

That's exactly what it is.

It sounds like quidditch.

Quidditch.

Oh, Jesus.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Hey, Sean, where'd you go?

What's going on?

What's up from the nerd department?

Hey, guys, that reminds me a lot of quidditch, I kind of, according to the rules, hey, Tom,

how did, with all of this, what was your first, how did you start, what was your first thing

as an actor, like, your first thing where you're like, I got it, I want to be an actor, I want

to do this, I want to be in a play, I want to, like, what was your...

Apparently, I used to love this one Janet Jackson song when I was a kid.

Which one?

I live for her.

Oh, boy.

Apparently, my mom posted it for my birthday, a video of me as a kid dancing to it, and

apparently Janet Jackson actually reposted it.

Like, was it, like, Rhythm Nation or something like that?

I don't know.

I could find it.

But anyway, my mom just...

I was one of her backup dancers.

I was one of her.

Really?

Yes.

Will and Grace.

And Sean and I had...

You were in the picture of the hands.

That wasn't you?

No.

Sean and I had a dance off on an episode of Will and Grace once.

With Janet Jackson.

With Janet Jackson.

With Jackson.

With Jackson.

I was on Google that time.

It's life-changing.

I'm going to look that up.

Yeah.

It's pretty good.

Okay, so wait.

So you were into Janet.

I would do, like, these hip-hop glasses on a Saturday, and I got spotted by this headmaster

of this school to audition for Billy Elliot.

They started training me and doing ballet and all that sort of stuff.

I ended up auditioning for this show because I thought it would be fun.

I enjoyed the process of auditioning.

I got the gig.

I got an agent through the gig.

My parents were like, I mean, there's no harm in having an agent.

They sent me one screen test, self-tape for a film.

I did it.

I was, like, 12, and I got the part, and it was this film called The Impossible.

Yeah, The Impossible, right.

Which is about the tsunami.

It's another one of your questions, Sean, I'm sure.

It was.

Yes.

And then I just...

Good for you, Tom.

You get the picture now.

You're getting it.

Welcome to our life.

And then I just never stopped doing it.

I just kind of...

I guess I reached that age where I was maybe 16, 17, and I was like, I can either keep my

head down and, like, stick with school and try and figure out what I would do if I'm

going to get any sort of...

I keep making millions and crushing ass, right?

Yeah.

It's a tough choice.

Tom, it sounds like from a young age, you had, very naturally, what Jason likes to call

sexy indifference.

We'll be right back after these...

Because you just didn't care.

I love that he's like, I just didn't care.

And I just thought, yeah, I got this part, and then I got this movie, and then look

at what happens.

I mean, while Sean is begging, he's that casting director, his doors are flopped with begging.

He's got a new headshot, don't know if you've seen it.

Make a cross.

Under the door here.

Slide it under their door.

Just so we can make a cross in a fucking, in a Hawaiian punch commercial, you know what

I mean?

Like, just anything, please.

My payment was free product.

Tom, when did you start perfecting your American accent?

Because it's just...

Yeah, it's flawless.

It's very good.

And is it hard?

I've asked this before.

Is American accent hard to do?

Yeah, I think as a Brit, we're so, like, surrounded by American culture.

We watch your shows, we watch your films, we listen to your music.

It's a big part of our lives back home.

By the way, same.

We watch...

We're infatuated with the Brit.

Right, but we don't understand all the class differences of the British accent.

Right.

I do.

But yeah, I don't know.

Somebody was on, I can't remember who we had on, they said one of the hardest words

to say with an American accent being a Brit is murderer.

Murderer.

Oh, that was good.

You just did it.

Yeah, that's not easy.

Murderer.

Murderer.

Oh, shit.

Well, there's Peter Parker.

I find L's difficult to say.

Can you say Arnold Palmer?

Arnold Palmer?

See, that's hard.

That's not right.

See, L is hard.

Arnold Palmer.

Yeah.

Arnold Palmer.

Now, do you get...

It would be hard for me to do an accent as an actor because I would be thinking more

about the pronunciation instead of the performance.

Is that a hard thing for you to separate?

I think for me with accents, I like it because it's like an immediate different side to yourself.

I think the jobs where I've struggled the most is where I'm doing it in my own accent.

Oh, really?

It doesn't feel like enough of a departure from who I am.

You have trouble leaving Tom.

Yeah, and I don't know.

My dad's a, you know, he's a comic, so he's always grown up doing accents.

It's something he's really good at.

We grew up with him doing it always around the dinner table.

So I love doing accents.

Now, it sounds like you have a feeling...

But what about you?

Have you done it?

Have you tried a British accent?

I mean a bit here and there, yeah, but I wouldn't...

Let's hear it, Jay.

No, I just...

No, let's hear it.

It's gonna be great.

No, you don't want it right now?

I mean, I would do it.

If I got cast in a part, I would definitely...

I wouldn't shy away from the part, but I do think there is something to focus on.

You say you've got your hands around the class differences and all the different English accents.

Yeah, I understand it.

Yeah, I could hear Tom's accent, which is...

And I figured you were sort of like Eastern, Northeast London.

Am I right about that?

Southwest London, but...

Oh, close.

Really? That's Southwest?

I have a bit of a weird accent.

I don't really sound like where I'm from.

I sound like the people I surround myself with.

Most of my mates are all fucking cockney-blind.

Yeah, that's why you have a little like that.

Yeah, you have a little bit of that.

Like just get the job done, do the job.

Yeah, right.

I try, yeah.

I've lost the sort of posh twang I grew up with.

Yeah, my name is Ron.

My father's telling me how I shouldn't speak, darling.

My name's Ron.

I'm a placer.

He's Rod.

He's a plumber.

We're full of the spurs.

That's not bad at all.

Yeah, thank you.

And also, because I'm spurs as well, you'd think I'm North London.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you say, well, the people you surround yourself with,

it does sound like you keep a very normal circle around you

and that that's not a struggle for you.

You seem like a very, very normal guy.

Is it something that you battle with all of this sort of fame

and fortune and permissive people around you?

Is it tough for you to keep your head on your shoulders

or has it come easy?

I don't think so.

I think my parents did a good job of, you know,

keeping us in check, especially later on, you know,

I think I've seen lots of friends where you become successful

and all of a sudden like your parents rely on you

to, you know, bring in the bread or keep the family going

and stuff like that.

And I've been really lucky that my parents have never done that.

They've always been my parents.

It's still, you know, I listen to my dad.

If he's got something he wants to say, he won't shy away from it.

Yeah.

And then my friends, they're all golf lads.

They're all my golf mates. All we do is play golf.

There's no way of getting into trouble on the golf course.

I snapped my seven-eyed on the other day,

which is kind of the extent of my bad behavior in life.

I felt like breaking a club the other day

and I was like, what's going on with me?

It would feel so good to break this right now.

And the thing that was even worse is I peered it.

I absolutely like, I played a little buttery cut.

Like I was like, I really need this to land soft

and I hit the car path and it just,

over the back of my head, I was like, bow.

Wait, wait.

So Tom, when you were in the impossible,

how old were you in that?

I think I was just turning 14.

Did you understand like the weight

or the gravity of being in like a big movie like that?

Or did you not even think about it?

I actually think my youth was a real...

It was great for me because I was so naive.

I just looked at those experiences like some sort of summer camp.

It's only now that I'm a little bit older

that I'm starting to really understand

like the responsibility of being in a big film or a big show.

I had my TV show come out.

Right, right, right. Yes, yes, yes.

And so what's the show? Tell us about the show.

The show is, it's an anthology series

called The Crowded Room.

It's sort of my first kind of step.

Oh yeah, he's a buddy of ours.

What a great guy. I love him so much.

Honestly, like working with him was a dream come true.

Like it's my first real time producing

and he really took me under his wing

and kind of explained to me the do's and the don'ts

of how to do it properly.

Yeah, he's just the sweetest, smartest,

most experienced guy.

I just can't say enough about him.

He's so sweet.

How old were you when you went from,

when you got Captain America to the war?

Because that was the first one, right?

Where you played Spider-Man.

Yeah, it was like 10 days after my 18th birthday.

Wait, so that was before you did Spider-Man was...

Yeah.

Which was actually really great

because it was somewhat like my audition

for the general public.

Like I got cast.

There wasn't the greatest public feeling

about me being cast.

And then Civil War happened and for me,

it felt like my opportunity to like showcase

what I could do in the character

without having to take the weight

of a standalone film.

So I had three scenes in that movie.

Why do you say it wasn't...

It's like the heavy-duty fans were just...

I don't know.

I tried not to read into it that much.

I guess I wasn't the top pick.

Somehow, but the list of the final six people got out.

And I definitely was at the bottom of the list.

So I think being cast was like a bit of a shock

to the system.

But then when Civil War came out

and people were really happy with it

and they really enjoyed my performance

and thought it was really, you know,

it was unique and different,

there was a big turnaround.

So I was lucky to have Civil War.

I bet the great Amy Pascal came in

with her great taste and said,

you know what, no, Tom is our guy.

I love Amy Pascal.

She's my mom away from home.

What was your first experience

like meeting all the other Avengers actors?

Like were you star struck?

What was that like coming in the first day at work?

I think it's that interesting thing where it's...

You just realize that everyone's actors

wearing crazy costumes,

sitting in the same set chairs,

eating the same Atlanta food, you know?

It was obviously really amazing.

And I was 18, a huge fan of those shows.

So it was super exciting.

I think Downey...

Yeah, you had to put up with Downey.

He really does a good job of like setting the tone.

Oh, he does a good job.

Of like how people should behave.

He's on time.

He's professional.

He knows his lines.

He knows everyone's name.

He's respectful.

Would you agree with me on this?

And the guys might too.

Downey's the funniest motherfucker around, right?

I mean, how fucking funny is Downey?

He's the most frustrating scene partner out there.

I've never come across anyone like him.

You sit down, you get sent the pages.

I write stuff.

I try and come up with something funny.

I try to bring my flavor to, you know,

sometimes pretty stale stuff.

And you spit out your joke on set.

You think that's going to land.

That's so good.

And he just uses your joke to set up his joke

that's come fresh off the dome.

And you're like, that's so irritating.

I love that.

He is the best.

Didn't he come in like a helicopter or something?

Yeah, he did.

It was six of us, six kids that were auditioning.

It's the weirdest kind of meeting I've ever had.

They were all sitting down having lunch

and like eyeing each other up.

And I'm like, I could probably take you lot physically.

I don't know like how we could go in an acting thing.

And then Downey, yeah, he flew over us in his helicopter.

He landed on the helipad next door to the stage.

He drove over.

That's not helpful.

You're already nervous.

And then here comes your scene partner in a helicopter.

I know.

I'm such a hopeless optimist though.

Like as soon as I saw the helicopter,

I was like, I'm getting this part

and I'm flying away with him after the audition.

I genuinely was like, this is that's how the end,

the day is going to go.

The audition went so well.

I thought it was great.

Didn't hear anything for like seven weeks.

What?

And you know, at that point you sort of go, you let it go.

I didn't get it.

Called me back for a second audition.

I did a screen test with Chris Evans,

which was like a fight test.

And you know, I have a gymnastics background.

So I was like, I'm fucking going above and beyond.

I'm doing every flip, side flip, back flip,

whatever I can do to get this part.

I went home, heard nothing for like another four or five weeks.

And then I was scrolling through Instagram

and Marvel had posted a picture of Spider-Man

and said like, if you want to find out who the next Spider-Man is,

go to our website.

So I went to their website.

You're like, I want to know who the next Spider-Man is.

But the thing is, it's obviously not me

because they'd have more respect

than just putting it online.

They would call you.

I went online.

I read the headline.

It said my name.

I remember like shutting my computer

and being like, this isn't, this can't be real.

And this was also right around the time

that Sony had been hacked.

So I was like, there's something going on here.

This isn't right.

And then an hour later, I got a call from the studio.

I got a call from Sony.

I got a call from my agents.

Like this is, we don't know how this has been leaked,

but we've cast you.

Good luck.

Like we're really excited.

But it was on the Marvel website.

Yeah.

So I think they just tried to get ahead of the leak

and make the announcement.

And then in every interview, basically said,

that's how I found out.

So that didn't work out for them.

But yeah, it was crazy.

Was your level of excitement

must have been through the roof, obviously.

But did you, was your anticipation

of what was to come accurate

with what you now have lived?

Like did you see exactly what was coming

or has it been better or worse?

It's been so much better.

I couldn't not have anticipated it

being as fun as it was

and how rewarding it's been.

I think there's a stigma with those types of films.

Yeah.

But I've had a lot of that's your fault.

You probably have just really enjoyed it.

You've been a great leader.

You've had fun with it

and you've created a great environment

for yourself and everybody else.

And that yields a lot of good stuff afterwards.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, I appreciate that.

Yeah, I think so.

And I read, didn't I?

Isn't it true that you were,

you've been a Spider-Man fan since you were a kid, right?

Oh, mate.

Like my mom has got countless costumes

that have never been washed

of when I was like a four-year-old kid

for refusing to take it off.

You know, bouncing off of the bunk beds

and stuff like that.

I was obsessed.

And there's actually an interview of me

when I was maybe 15 on a red carpet

and someone said like,

if you could play any superhero,

who would you play?

This is like seven years before it happened.

Or maybe not as long as that.

And I said, I'd love to play Spider-Man

after Andrew Garfield.

Like that would be my dream.

That's crazy.

And it fucking came true.

That's crazy.

Craziest day of my life.

I couldn't believe it.

And now you've gone on,

you've done some really cool dramatic stuff

in addition to that as well.

That must be nice to kind of construct your year

or a few years by, you know,

sort of weaving in stuff

that is very different from it

and working with your folks

to get all that stuff squared away.

Is that your goal is to try to find a real balance

with all that stuff?

It's not necessarily something

I particularly think about.

I just...

Yeah, man.

Not everybody's a psycho.

Thinking about braiding everything in,

you know what I mean?

I think the crowd had room for me.

Like, yeah, it's a challenge and it's different.

I think meeting Akiva, you know,

you know what he's like.

He is an amazing guy.

I think the show has an amazing message

that's really important.

And I just felt, I don't know,

I felt compelled to kind of jump into it

and accept the challenge and see how it goes.

I love that.

And I don't know.

I don't really know what I'm going to do next.

I have taken the year off.

I haven't worked at all this year.

I've just been at home, honestly,

just playing golf every day.

You deserve it.

And now you have such a massive following,

just huge.

I mean, it's...

And do you feel...

It sounds like a cheesy question,

but I really mean it.

Do you feel pressure

or any kind of responsibility

to be kind of like a role model?

Not that you asked for that,

but it kind of just happened.

Or do you just go, that's not me.

I didn't ask for it.

And don't look at me as a role model.

I'm just an actor.

Or do you embrace it?

I'd say something that really does stress me out

is that I am so severely dyslexic

that when I post on Instagram for something,

I have to get like three people to proofread

what I've written.

Oh, wow.

It really, really stresses me out

because it goes out to a lot of people

and you don't want to look like an idiot.

Right.

You know?

I guess I understand the responsibility.

I'm lucky that I have someone like Zendaya in my life.

It's interesting being in a romantic relationship

with someone that is in the same boat as you.

Yeah.

You know, you can share your experiences

and all that sort of stuff.

And that's worth its weight in gold.

Yeah, for sure.

I wonder because now you've done so many big movies

in massive like press junkets.

And I remember speaking of,

we started the interview saying you're 27 years old.

I was 27.

And that's when I first was like,

I have to do how many interviews and go where and what?

And it's like all of that press

and the hours of the press junkets

and which is an art in and of itself, by the way.

But what about the first time you saw the amount of press

required of you?

Was that, was that like,

and do you like doing it because you're really good at it?

Thanks.

Yeah.

I just always try and like, smile and wave

and never let them know how you really feel.

You know?

Like you're on the 60th interview of the day

and someone comes in and they're like,

what side of the bed do you sleep on?

And it's like, what the fuck off?

Why do you want to know that?

Leave me alone.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a bit of a minefield too, right?

Because you do so much of it.

And I'll bet you probably want to change your answer

a little bit here and there just to keep yourself entertained.

But then you might get into something

that's a little bit spicier than you even mean to say.

And then now they've got a headline.

And that's the thing they grabbed.

And that's the thing that happened to me the other day.

So I gave up drinking of January of last year, right?

And by the way, congrats on your sobriety

and congrats on speaking so publicly about it

and it helps lots and lots of people.

Yeah, good for you.

That's really great, bud.

Thank you, yeah.

So I gave up for a multitude of reasons,

but really just because I wanted to take a break.

Yeah.

And in taking that break,

it was the hardest thing I'd ever done and was like,

oh, maybe I should look at this a little bit more seriously

and elongate the break.

Eventually I took it to my birthday, June 1st.

And by the time I'd done six months,

I felt so amazing that I was like,

I don't think I'll ever drink ever again.

Wow.

But I did an interview the other day for like an hour

where I spoke about giving up drinking

and then about 45 minutes later,

I told a joke about having a meltdown on set

and wanting to cut my hair off

because my hair was so crazy for this show.

And the headline of the article was,

Tom Holland gave up drinking after having a meltdown on set.

And it's like, that's not even...

I know.

It makes you just want to stop.

I know.

It's so dumb.

Yeah.

Well...

It's really top desperate.

It's tricky.

Yeah.

You got to pick and choose.

Well, don't ever cut your hair.

You got good hair.

Yeah, you do.

Thank you.

I don't like this bullshit.

My dad the other day, Jason was saying,

my dad said, he said,

Jason Bateman, he's definitely got a syrupeny.

And a syrupen in England means a wig.

It's a syrupen fig, wig.

And I said,

I don't think so, dad.

I think that's just his hair.

My dad's obviously bitter because my dad bested

losing his hair.

And he was like,

that Jason Bateman, he's definitely wearing a syrupen.

I said, no, dad.

I genuinely think that's just his hair.

Yeah.

No, plus Jason never colors his hair,

which is astounding.

He doesn't have a gray hair on him.

Yeah.

People think it's either it's plugs or it's color or both.

And it's just not...

It's just luck.

It's just all you got luck.

It's got to be thinned out.

Tom Holland, we've taken up way too much time.

Awesome.

It's so nice to meet you.

You're the greatest.

And for so long.

And it's like you emit exactly what...

You are exactly who I would hope you'd be.

Just like the coolest, grounded, nicest.

It's exactly what we've heard.

Keep it up, buddy, Shawn.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, guys.

I'm a huge fan of the show.

My brother and I, we're always listening to you guys.

So it's an honor for me to be here.

And we should play some golf.

And Shawn, you should come.

I'll watch.

Yeah, come on, Shawn.

You know what?

They'll count me in for the poker.

I love poker.

Okay, done.

So poker game, the first weekend of every month.

If you fancy it, it's a lot of fun.

I'm going to hit you up, Tom, when I come to England,

and we're going to play.

100%.

And we'll go watch a football game.

Yeah, fantastic.

Thank you, Tommy.

I get to now call you.

Absolutely.

Thank you, buddy.

Have a great rest of the day.

Thanks, pal.

I appreciate it.

Thank you, guys.

Bye, buddy.

Bye-bye.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

What a great guy.

I said it at the end there.

He's so wonderful.

I didn't know that about his drinking.

That's great.

Good for him.

Yeah, yeah.

I wonder if that's tough with all the living in basically a frat house.

I wonder if they're all not drinking too.

That could be tough.

I'm always kind of astounded too when somebody like him who's so young

and got such big massive things happen for him in his career when he's so young.

They always carry themselves so confidently and like, you know,

not to repeat the Jason Bateman thing over and over again,

but the sexy indifference like that.

They always have this like swagger that's like, yeah,

I'm good if we do it.

I'm good if we don't.

Right.

Like this like, and it's a confidence thing that I never had at that age.

It's, I don't know how, and so many people, you have it, you had it too,

Jay, when you were younger too, they all have this like thing where,

I don't know how they learn that or where they get that from.

Well, mine was, I bought mine and should have been renting it

because it went away for me.

And it was, it was an uncomfortable correction when, you know,

I had some quiet times and it was like, oh, I don't feel so confident anymore.

I'm no longer indifferent.

I actually, I really want it back and it hurt my ability to even get it back

because now I'm walking into auditions desperate, you know,

and really wanting something.

And, you know, you start squeezing the puppy and it's, it starts to choke out.

Yeah.

I squeeze the puppy and sometimes it chokes out.

Oh, okay.

Tom Holland was so great, so great to having him on.

Love that Tom Holland.

I don't mean this disrespectfully.

He's a great kid.

Great kid.

You know what I mean?

Well, because he looks, he wouldn't, I think he knows it.

I use that with people who are my age.

He looks healthy.

He looks like, you know, he looks thin.

You know, it might be, he, maybe he should have a sandwich

or maybe just order a nice big juicy rib.

Bye.

Bye.

Rib.

Bye.

Happy birthday, smartlist.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, smartlist.

Happy birthday.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

Rib.

now early on Amazon Music or early and add free by subscribing to Wondery Plus in Apple

Podcasts or the Wondery app.

Hey listeners, you need to know that Wondery's shocking true crime podcast over My Dead Body

is back for a fourth season, Gone Hunting.

This newest season covers the story of Mike Williams.

It was Mike's sixth wedding anniversary when he set off on a hunting trip into the gator-infested

swamps of North Florida.

He figured he'd be back in time to take his wife Denise out to celebrate, but he never

came back.

Friends and loved ones feared he met his fate through bad luck and a group of hungry alligators

leaving his young family behind.

Except that's not what happened at all.

And after 17 years, a kidnapping and the uncovering of a secret love triangle, the truth would

finally be revealed.

Enjoy Over My Dead Body, Gone Hunting on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to Over My Dead Body early and add free on Wondery Plus.

Get started with your free trial at Wondery.com slash plus.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.