The Therapy Crouch: The Doctor Will See You Now

Welcome to our sex tape.

You get me, blood.

My God.

I don't breathe.

I don't sweat, I don't poo, I don't breathe.

There's only one answer.

Why does a chicken squawk?

Got no.

A cat!

One, two, three, four.

You got a pig?

This is me talking into my moth.

Moth diving.

Muff in your teeth.

All right.

That's the last one.

It took quite a bit.

You're closer.

Took that in.

What are we doing in hotel rooms?

Sit up straight.

3, 1, 7.

Welcome to our sex tape.

So guys, welcome back to the set.

We started, have we started?

Just started.

Hi, and welcome to the therapy crouch with me, Abby Clancy.

Me, Peter Crouch.

And we're in it.

We're not at home today.

We're in a hotel.

This is not my couch.

I would never pick this.

This is something Pete would choose.

You disrespect my interior design skills all the time.

If I was allowed to express myself,

I would have an incredible house.

So what would you do?

What kind of couch would you have?

I wouldn't have this couch.

I'd have a bigger couch.

It'd be nice.

It's a huge part of where you are every single day,

like the bed, the couch is the most important thing, I think.

You sound like a slob.

When you're at home, you're relaxed.

You're out and about all day.

You want to get down, you want to get on the couch.

You want to get down.

You want to get down.

Get down the business.

Get down, get down.

Don't you start, boss.

Where were you last week?

Welcome back, Skyver.

Yeah.

Glad to be back.

I was doing a little bit of appareil,

a little bit of skiing.

Skiing.

Skiing on a podcast series, the middle of it.

We're obviously paying them too much, number one.

And number two, he didn't ask permission.

No, I have had some serious conversations with HR this week.

Well, Ross, you've been missed.

It's been noticed that you were missing for a week.

You know, sexy voice Ross.

Shout out, Chelsea.

I see you.

I see you, baby.

This is a joke, this.

What's a joke?

He's getting hit on here.

Are you jealous?

He's not even showing me face.

Pure personality.

But that's, to be honest, that's what it's about.

If you can fall in love with someone through the personality,

that's how I did it with you.

It helps that I'm like nine.

I'd say nine and three quarters out of ten.

You're a six now, remember?

I did you up to a good six.

Strong six.

This is something we talked about when we were on a John from Ross show recently.

You said that people do up their men to a certain standard.

Too much.

Then they leave them.

Then they get a big head.

Think they're great.

And then move on.

So your optimal level of doing someone up is to a six.

So I asked the question, do you...

I'm around a six and no more.

I don't...

Ross?

That was the jet.

I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my husband.

You're a boffin in the corner.

What's serious about it?

So I'm a six.

You're not a six.

I'll tell you you're a six just because your head doesn't get too big,

but you're actually a 12.

No, that's bollocks.

Don't try to be a friendly one.

I'm a six and I'm comfortable with that.

Absolutely.

Bloody not a six.

Do you think I'd go out with a six?

No.

Come on.

You're a bloody 12.

I'm comfortable being six.

You shouldn't be.

Strong six is not bad.

Sorry, I'm drinking my wine of the week wine.

Have you got a wine of the week?

Do we might as well start?

If you're going to sip it now, you might as well start.

I actually have.

So it's our daughter's birthday tomorrow.

And we've just bought a birthday cake.

And Pete just throws it in the boot.

Like wonky.

You know, when you get a birthday cake,

you're like putting it in the car like so carefully

and you just throw it in it and it was like on an angle.

There was a tiny piece of cotton, which like the arm of a coat.

Cotton?

And I placed it in.

I placed it in and it went, when I say on an angle,

it was 0.2 degrees.

Okay.

So if that's on an angle, then, you know,

It's just so annoying that like throughout this part,

actually there's always your version and my version.

Two sides to be starting.

That's pretty much what we're doing.

And then at the end of the week, like,

obviously we're like, am I supposed to just take it?

It's not true.

It is true.

You just don't even realize.

It's totally true.

There was no need to flag that up.

Do you think I want my daughter's cake to be ruined

on her birthday as much as you do?

What do you mean as much as I do?

Well, I don't want it to happen the same as you.

Okay.

Well, that's kind of my only wine.

We've had a really fun week this week.

Yeah, I've got a wine.

My wine is that I know we haven't got into the topic

of what this is about this podcast today,

but it feels like I probably shouldn't be here

because it's sort of a women's health issue

that I have no clue about.

Yeah, but I think I actually think the opposite,

to be honest, because if more men were aware

of the repercussions of having a condition like endometriosis,

they'd have a deeper understanding into so many things

like joking aside, you know, the anxiety, the pain,

you know, pain during sex, you know,

just mental health in general.

You know, you could be there to support a little bit more

instead of just thinking, oh, God,

there she is on the blob again.

Oh, my God.

Do you know what you've said there?

Actually, it makes a hell of a lot of sense.

You know, it really does.

And, you know, you're a dad of two daughters.

You're going to go through this, the periods,

you know, babies, boyfriend, all of these issues.

And I think you are quite good at it, really.

You know, you've supported me through four pregnancies

and erratic hormones and so many issues.

So I want you here.

You're flying the male flag today,

and you can ask the questions all the men want to ask.

That's the problem.

I don't think they want to ask any.

Here's our first guest.

Say by the mouth.

Our first guest.

We should leave that in.

I'm sure they think we're filming a porn,

ladies and gentlemen.

Literally, do people do that?

I don't know if I'm filming porn or they must do.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they do.

I've never seen one I've ever known.

Yeah, that makes sense.

I think actually, you know,

joking aside, we probably should understand more

of what you're going through.

So let's do that.

You know, I will listen

and I will understand more

of what you ladies go through.

Yeah, good.

Cheers.

A few weeks ago on one of our episodes,

What To Expect When You're Expecting,

we touched on the topic endometriosis

and the fact that I had it

and that was the reason why it took us so long to conceive

and, you know, the fact we were diagnosed,

it was treated and we went on to have four kids

and, you know, totally blessed.

Thank God.

The reaction to that was incredible.

So many women.

I mean, we had thousands of messages

from women writing in with their stories

and saying, thank you for, you know,

being open about your journey

and discussing this because it's a private thing.

It's a taboo subject.

People don't want to...

Well, women don't want to talk about it at times

and I think, you know,

early diagnosis is key with this condition

because it can, you know,

it causes horrendous pain,

pain during sex

and it can lead to infertility

so it was important to...

I feel for me as a woman,

especially a woman who's had this condition

to kind of try and raise some awareness for this

and it's National Endometriosis Awareness Month this month

so it felt like a perfect opportunity

to revisit it and give our listeners

a little bit more information

and more facts about the condition

and what they can do to help themselves.

And that's the reason we invited Dr. Brathwaite,

who's our doctor,

who's helped us deliver to all our children,

and Natalie Kelly, who's a friend of yours,

who's going through an endometriosis journey

and let's be honest, right, I'm sitting here

and I fill out my comfort zone

but I'm here, obviously,

as other men will be for their wives and girlfriends

to understand more

and to hear out, you know,

hear someone's journey, which is different to yours

and hear from a doctor what actually it is

and understand a little bit more.

Well, that's the thing, you know,

it's endometriosis is a condition

that affects every woman differently

and, you know, just getting that understanding

on the subject and I do appreciate you sitting here

because it's actually uncomfortable for me

to kind of open up about things

in front of you and let alone on a podcast.

But I think it's important,

it's nothing to be ashamed of

and raising awareness will help

and I think it does affect your mental health

and, you know, if you're in physical pain,

you know, you do need that support from your partner,

like if you're in a new relationship

and it hurts you to have sex

or you don't want it when you're freaking out,

you know, people should be aware.

Yeah, and I agree with that,

it didn't stop me trying to get out of it six times,

but, you know, I do support you, I'm here.

OK, on with the pod.

So, Natalie, thanks for coming on The Therapy Crouch today,

really appreciate it.

Thank you so much, nice to be on your couch.

I know, exactly.

So, for all the listeners out there,

Natalie Kelly is my good friend

and Natalie owns a beauty and wellness clinic in London

where I go for all my face and body treatments

and Natalie has been on her own endometriosis journey

and has been very open with that

over her social media channels,

so I just thought it'd be a good idea to invite you on today

so you could talk firsthand, you know,

I've touched on my experience, you know, for me,

I didn't have any symptoms,

I only knew I had it when I was trying to get pregnant

for two years and not unhappened.

My doctor tried various things, he went through,

you know, he put the dye through my tubes,

which went perfect and I still wasn't getting pregnant,

so we decided to go in with the cameras,

discovered that I had the endometriosis,

removed it and soon after that I got pregnant.

So, that was kind of my journey,

but if you want to talk us through yours a little bit.

Yeah, my journey's probably been going on

for the last, let's say, 20 years,

so even from as young as being a teenager,

I was first put on the pill for heavy periods

and, you know, I couldn't literally leave the house

or go to school without, like, bleeding to death.

Sorry, Pete.

He's used to it, he's got three girls in the house,

my mum, my sister, you know, Pete's been there

through it all, haven't you, babe?

I have, to be honest.

And it's great that you've got that support system,

but yeah, my story...

Well, you say that, yeah.

He did actually tell me I invented hormones.

Hold on, we've got Natalie on it today,

so it's like, oh, gang up on me.

Let's hear about your journey, please.

Listen, when you think she has the hormones,

you send her out the house for a few hours to me

and then I deal with them.

But yeah, my hormones is a whole other story.

So, yeah, 20 years of different surgeries,

trying to find out what's going on.

I used to just take the pill all the time,

so then that gave me some hormone issues

and, yeah, I am 20 years medical,

but even so, I knew there was something wrong with my body,

but I still couldn't get a clear diagnosis

until I self-referred myself

to a doctor actually at the Portland,

Miss Sarah Matthews,

and a lot of my clients seen her

and had a great success.

So, as soon as I went to her, she was just like,

I think you've got this.

She was like, we need to do a surgery.

And I was like, I open my flagship clinic next month.

We've been in a lockdown.

I've done all this work.

This is not the right time.

And she's like, you've got to choose your health.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, why did it take nearly 20 years to get diagnosed for you?

Well, on average, it takes around eight to 10,

even though endometriosis is as common as a diabetes

for a medical condition, for instance.

So, in the NHS, I just feel like in the UK,

women's health is so poorly managed.

Men's health, as well, to be honest.

But women's health, we're just kind of fobbed off

with our things and...

Yeah, well, when you're supposed to have...

Like, as a woman, you're supposed to have barriers.

You're supposed to give birth.

So, it's kind of seeing, like, they have to do it anyway,

so kind of get on with it.

Yeah.

When, in fact, it's so traumatic for the body,

like hormones can, like, wreck someone's, you know,

mental health, physical health.

Marriage.

Marriage.

Yeah.

Exactly.

But, you know, there's so much we have to take on as women,

and they're just expected to deal with.

You know, endometriosis, right?

Do you think it's more...

It's almost become, like, trivial compared to other,

you know, diseases or problems with regards to the NHS,

because you can still get pregnant when you have endometriosis?

Yeah.

Is that why it takes so long to get diagnosed?

I think they just take...

It takes so long because of just poor funding,

like, let's be honest.

Yeah.

If you go private, you'll probably get a diagnosis much easier.

If you was in the States, for instance,

it would be normal to see your gynecologist,

your dermatologist, every six months.

You would never have kind of a cystic acne

or a chronic inflammatory pain condition

that literally affects your whole life,

spreading through your body.

Like, causing infertility, causing you to have operations

on your bowel and ending up with, like, a stoma bag.

Like, some of the stories that I've listened to

and some of the clients that come to me,

it's just absolutely mind-blowing

that it would get to that stage.

But this is what I'm saying.

So it feels like you have to get to that stage

before you're recognised and taken seriously.

Yeah.

You know, rather than getting it early and dealing with it.

I think because the symptoms differ so much,

like, I, you know, when I started my period,

like, my period was my period,

so you kind of used to what you have.

So is this normal?

Well, this is normal for me.

I didn't have any other...

Apart from heavy periods, I had no other symptom.

I wasn't in pain, you know,

like, my sister's also got it,

and she has so many more symptoms than me.

And ones that, like, you know, stop going to work.

She can't leave the house.

She's, like, pouring with blood.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, the pain, pain in her bowels.

You know, I think because the symptoms vary that much,

it's hard to diagnose,

and they want to put you on hormone treatments first,

like putting the coil in or the pill,

you know, to see if that can kind of calm down these symptoms

and make a change and...

It's because they can only get a true clinical diagnosis

by laparoscopy,

so they have to put a camera inside,

and they have to physically see the endometrial tissue.

And that's, it's a surgery.

So they're like, let's just try all of these things

and rule it out,

and then at the very end, oh, we should do that.

But I feel like it should be just much more accessible

if you tick a lot of these things,

especially if you're having chronic pain.

It's affecting your work life, your relationships,

your sex life.

For some girls, they can't even have sex.

It's so painful.

Never mind leaving things,

and then, like, you guys trying for a couple of years,

you know, Pete was putting in the work

and not getting anywhere else along.

It was an absolute nightmare.

He had fun trying.

I can say.

The good old days.

The good old days, yeah.

Can you remember that, Pete?

What it was like?

I felt like I was getting used before.

You actually said, that's me at one point

when we were trying, and it was kind of,

you know, because when you're oblivious

to the fact that you've got endometriosis,

and you're not getting pregnant,

and what should be, you know,

let us have sex and see what happens,

then I was doing, like, the temperature.

I was doing, I was doing the egg,

the monitor, and, you know,

so Pete was literally, I was literally like,

Pete, we've got half an hour,

get in the bedroom right now.

Obviously, I didn't turn any of it down,

but I still felt like I was being used, you know?

But, you know, for me,

it actually turned out well,

because my endometriosis was discovered.

Yeah.

I had the operation to clear it,

and then a few months later, we got pregnant,

and then we went on to have three more babies.

Yeah.

So I was, like, fortunate and lucky,

you know, thank God for that, like, every day.

So what, you know, for you,

I know we've spoken, we're good friends,

and you're not ready to have babies just yet.

You've just, you know, you're running your business,

conquering the world with your clinic.

Yeah.

So what, what's your plan?

Yeah, so obviously when I had to have the diagnosis,

and then I had to go back to the clinic,

and she was saying, you know,

you're getting a little bit older now,

and maybe you should do the egg freezing,

and I put it off still for, like, two years.

I was like, I haven't got time for it.

To be honest, my condition still wasn't being controlled.

There's still a lot of pain, still a lot of inflammation.

So if that carries on, you're very blessed and very lucky,

and sometimes pregnancies can fix endometriosis

and can slow it down, but for some people,

it can still continue to grow,

and you can still have to have multiple surgeries in future.

So to protect kind of my eggs and my kind of options,

because I don't feel ready right now,

I did the egg freezing,

so I just did that last month.

It's quite a journey.

I've had a lot of hormones beat, a lot.

Obviously, for someone, like, completely naive like me, right?

I didn't even know what endometriosis was until, you know, I've had it.

But neither did I.

The egg freezing situation, again, blows one.

Like, how do you manage it?

It's pretty crazy.

So a lot, you have to take daily injections.

Obviously, I'm fine with that.

I'm used to doing the Botox, not like that.

So that one's easy,

but if you're quite scared of injections,

for example, partners do them, so daily injections.

Every other day, you need to go to the hospital.

You have to have a transvaginal scan.

So the scanning, the checking, how much the follicles are growing,

how many eggs, et cetera.

And then they kind of get you ready to the point,

so it's kind of around like a two-week process.

And then they say, right, everything looks good now.

And then they give you a trigger shot

that then pushes you kind of into the ovulation.

And then you go like, I think it's about 36 hours or something later

with the egg collection.

Like retrieval?

Yeah, so they do the retrieval and then they say,

we'll take, they'll get how many out as they can.

And then they count them and whichever ones are mature,

they can then freeze them.

So, yeah, I was actually really, really lucky.

But they took 28 from me.

Oh, my God.

Interestingly, you know, our spiritual lamb,

they took them on a new moon day and then had left

and they called me and it was exactly 11-11.

And they was like, we've got 28 eggs and 28 was mature.

And we've frozen 28.

Oh, my God.

I've just got goosebumps.

So I'm kind of like, listen, I've got time.

The universe is telling me, chill out, girl.

Go back to your business.

I saw 11-11 yesterday on the 11th.

Yeah.

And I text Holly because she's into all of that.

And I was, it's that intuition, isn't it?

Yeah.

And even when it's a new moon,

it's the best day to manifest something that you want.

And I was literally like, all doing my ovaries,

going through, like giving them reiki,

giving them strength, being like, you can get through this.

But it's quite a process.

I shared and I found what was really nice is,

so many more women opened up and shared.

And I wish that like, even from skill, maybe be sure,

you know, with moms and your sisters,

but again, you only know what's normal within like,

your family, your close family.

And even now we think my sister's got it.

We think my mom maybe had it.

It's like you only kind of find out as,

as you're educated later on.

Well, I think that's the power of talking about things.

You know, because people don't want to open up about it

because I think as a woman as well,

you know, it can be seen as a flaw in you

and like there's something wrong with you.

So much shame, isn't it?

Yeah, there is shame in it and there shouldn't be.

And, you know, I think it should be screened for

like a diabetes or like bowel cancer.

Like, you know, you get tests from a certain age

for all these different illnesses

because one in 10 women have it.

It should be screened for.

And this help and support and treatment

should be available for women.

Yeah, well, this is why we wanted to do this podcast.

Invite you on as well because since Ab mentioned that she had it,

the amount of the outpouring of people getting in touch.

I didn't realise how common it was.

Like you say, like, if people, you know, friends, like,

I've got it.

So doing something like this raises awareness of it.

Because I've had a few, well, hundreds of messages actually

of women saying it was too late for me to have children.

Once I found the core of the problem, got diagnosed,

I was in fertile and I haven't had kids.

And if I would have known about the condition

and been able to do something about it earlier,

I could have had kids.

And this is completely heartbreaking.

You know, I see this with women on a daily basis

having problems with the skin and assessing their wellness.

And it's an inflammatory disease.

I think just we don't know enough around it.

I think more will be found out in futures

and there's more like endometriosis foundation.

And I think anyone who can bring kind of a limelight

and awareness to it, I think just helps other women

to get diagnosed more easily

and then they can make the options that they want

for the future, whether that's egg freezing,

whether it's to protect the fertility

or just pain management, lifestyle changes.

Just truly trying to have some support.

And did you go down, was your treatment all totally medical

or did you seek out any homeopathic treatment?

Oh, you know me?

Yeah, I know.

Eastern taught, Eastern philosophy.

So I love everything that I, like I said, healing, acupuncture,

for pain anyway, just anti-inflammatory diet, CBD.

I have to take it every day.

CBD massage rub, hot water bottles, baths,

all the traditional stuff, Pilates, you know,

as anti-inflammatory diet as possible,

which I just feel like we just live in a society now

where everything we do causes inflammation,

living in cities, drinking, smoking, toxin,

busy, crazy lifestyles, not taking care of ourselves,

that probably it's going to become even more prevalent.

Yeah.

So Natalie, I've got some audience stories here

that I'd like to share while we've got you here

on the couch, if that's okay.

Okay, so I started my periods when I was 10

and still at primary school,

and they were heavy and painful from day one.

I'm now 40, and since I was 10,

I've had so many different treatments.

Seven operations, including a hysterectomy,

contraceptive pill, hormonal injections,

to put me through a chemically-induced menopause,

physiotherapy, scans, MRIs, et cetera, et cetera,

and not-on-helps, not even the hysterectomy,

as I required further surgery two years after.

I'm now in surgical menopause.

It's affected my mental health massively.

I don't have children, and I grieve for them

every single day.

That's horrendous.

Endometriosis is such an invisible,

complicated and tragic condition.

There is no cure and literally hardly any funding or research.

I'm grateful for people like you who want to raise awareness.

Thank you. My God.

It's just completely devastated our whole life,

hasn't it? So sad.

And maybe if she could have had ALP and support

for that early diagnosis, it wouldn't have got to that stage.

But like I said, there does need to be more research

and development from, you know,

medical points of view to find out

and to give clear diagnosis.

Having suffered four years as Endo,

I finally was lucky enough to have treatment privately.

This was a success.

But quickly, the Endo returned.

When speaking with my female boss about time off

for my second laparoscopy.

Is that how you spell it? Laparoscopy.

I was met with the respond,

you can't have it done during your holidays.

It's not like it's cancer.

Can you believe that?

I can't even begin to relay the anger I felt in that moment.

Regardless of this, I continue to have my second laparoscopy.

Laparoscopy. I can't say that.

Laparoscopy.

Laparoscopy and treatment.

And we're now expecting our second Baba this summer.

Thank God for platforms like this raising awareness

for such debilitating diseases.

God.

Well, that kind of brings me back to my journey

with endometriosis.

When I got the diagnosis, I was like, what does this mean?

Because your initial reaction is to go on Google

and you see words like infertility, hysterectomy,

lifelong condition, you know, no cure.

And it's terrifying.

So what that does to your mental health,

and then you have all the anxiety,

which is also not good if you're trying to conceive.

But thank God we did.

So I'm really happy for that woman.

Yeah, and I would just like,

women just need to just trust themselves and their bodies

if you know that something's wrong and you're in pain

and something's not quite right.

You can't conceive all of these things.

Your body's trying to tell you something.

So forget one doctor.

Just go for the second, the third.

Just keep pushing and just trust yourself really

and try and, you know, get some support as soon as possible.

Well, Natalie, thanks for coming on today.

I feel like a bit of a spare part, I'll be honest.

I can't get involved too much.

And I feel like I'm a little bit on loose women.

But other than that, I appreciate you sharing the journey.

And, you know, in all seriousness, you know,

we are raising awareness.

It's a reaction to your, you know, your journey.

And also want to get someone who's going through,

you know, a similar journey or, you know,

obviously what you've been through has been tough for you.

So I really appreciate you coming on and talking about it.

And I'm sure you've helped a lot of our listeners.

So is there anything else you want to say

or any advice to anyone sort of in the early stages of this

or going through this?

I would just, you know, if I can inspire anyone

to just go and get any medical checks, check things out,

speak to their friends, family,

the endometriosis foundation, do research.

You know, you can follow me. I'm always sharing tips.

You can DM me. I'm happy to support and refer you

to the people that I found that have given me the most support

and the tips and tricks and things that I do for pain relief

and to help me.

But yeah, just trust yourself and listen to yourself

and listen to your body.

And just don't be told no, really, by anyone,

but particularly the doctors who are not that great

in diagnosing this condition.

Yeah, thanks again, Natalie. I've loved having you on.

And I will see you next week.

I'm going to come in for my air facial.

But yeah, if anyone wants to follow you

and follow your journey, where can they find you?

NatalieHellia.com.

Instagram at Natalie Kelly LDM.

OK, Fab. Thank you.

Cheers, Natalie.

And next up, we've got Geoffrey Brathwaite.

So today we have got the wonderful Dr Geoffrey Brathwaite.

Geoffrey has been in our lives for over 15 years.

You know, he helped me get pregnant.

He diagnosed my endometriosis and delivered my babies.

And, you know, I've always been there as a doctor and a friend,

you know, at the end of the phone every time we've needed him.

You know, the amount of times I've called you hysterical.

OK.

Doctor, I've got this, I've got that.

Thank you for that. You're making me blush.

Please call me Geoffrey. I hate titles.

Well, you know I call my dog after you, don't you?

Well, I'm going to have to tell the story.

I did hear that you called your dog after me.

And I was, when I heard that, I was really, really chuffed.

I thought that was really sweet.

But when I took that information home to my children,

we all have dinner together.

And I said, someone's just called their dog after me.

They all just thought that was just the funniest.

So that wasn't quite, because I thought I was quite chuffed.

And I was not expecting that reaction at all.

No offence. I couldn't call my son Geoffrey.

My dad's also a Geoffrey.

And I just think I couldn't have, I couldn't do it to them.

No offence, Doctor. But the dog loves his name.

I'm still chuffed, chuffed dog.

But my children thought it was very funny.

So, we've got you on here today,

because a few podcasts back,

we talked about my journey with endometriosis

and the fact that you were the doctor who discovered that.

We talked about me struggling to get pregnant

for a couple of years.

And then we did further investigations

and discovered I had endometriosis.

And you treated it with the camera and then the operation.

And then I successfully got pregnant

and went on to have three more babies.

Thank God.

Which is not the case for every woman.

So, I was just wondering

if you could shed a little bit of light on the condition.

Okay.

And first of all, what is endometriosis?

Okay. Thanks very much for that introduction.

So, first of all, I hate endometriosis.

And I think it's great that the awareness of endometriosis

amongst women is getting better.

Because ultimately, women have to push to get things done.

And that's possible to do that.

So, endometriosis, hate endometriosis, treatment is better though.

I promise you.

So, endometriosis is when the lining of the uterus,

which sheds every month.

So, normally when a woman has a period,

the lining of the uterus comes away with a period.

But we think that in some women,

the blood goes back through the tubes with the lining of the uterus.

Which means that some women get bits of the lining of the uterus,

the endometrium, which can get stuck in the tubes

or stuck around the ovaries

or sometimes behind the back of the cervix.

And that means that when your woman's having a period,

you're kind of bleeding a bit internally.

And that blood can accumulate.

And then sometimes the endometriosis can go into other parts of the body,

but that's pretty rare.

So, most endometriosis is outside of the lining of the uterus

around the ovaries, in the tubes or behind the back of the cervix.

It's fed by having periods.

So, if women have periods and periods and periods,

the endometriosis in some women can get worse and worse.

And the sort of symptoms it tends to produce,

it can cause painful periods,

sometimes heavy periods,

pain with sex, low abdominal discomfort.

And in some women, it presents with just not getting pregnant.

Because those are the sort of things that endometriosis can cause.

Well, I think when I discovered I had it,

it's the initial, oh my God, get on Google.

And it's terrifying.

You read words like infertility,

a lifelong condition, there's no cure.

And it's terrifying, especially for me,

because I know, as you said, it's important for women to push to be heard

and get the treatment that they need.

But if they don't have any symptoms, like I didn't,

and the only symptom is not getting pregnant.

Okay, so, well, endometriosis,

one of the problems that we have is it comes in four grades.

So, grade one, two, three and four.

So, grade four endometriosis,

it's really easy to see on the scan.

It's rare.

It's when you get big black areas around the ovaries,

and it's very painful.

Grades one and grades two endometriosis can be quite subtle.

They can be little patches,

which sometimes can be difficult to see on the scan.

So, sometimes you see a woman who's got symptoms.

You do the scan and it kind of looks all normal.

But then you sometimes end up doing a laparoscopy

because you think there must be something causing this.

And then you see the little patches of the endometriosis,

which you can easily get rid of.

So, that's where sometimes the diagnosis can be made.

So, sometimes women can have the symptoms.

They have the scan and the scan is normal.

But sometimes they've still got grade one, grade two endometriosis,

which sounds not very much.

But that grade one endometriosis can cause a lot of pain.

So, I look after some women who've got grade four endometriosis

and I look at them and think, are you not in much pain?

And they're actually not in much pain.

And one woman hasn't done anything about this

grade four endometriosis for years.

Yet you see a lot of women who've got grade one,

grade two endometriosis where it's causing them a loss of symptoms.

So, that's where sometimes it can be really difficult

to make the diagnosis. It can be quite subtle.

Can I just ask about the awareness of endometriosis?

For me, obviously, I only know it because Abbie had it.

And all the people that have got in touch with us on our podcast,

we've been inundated with messages.

And that's the reason why we're sort of doing this podcast.

I can't understand why, if it's such an issue,

and a common issue for women,

why it's not out there as much as, say, other...

Diabetes, or is it not...

...a screen for it now?

It's definitely changing as a result of this type of awareness.

But you only have to look at the fact that we're now talking about the menopause.

You know, 10 years ago, hardly anyone talked about the menopause.

Now, we're all talking about the menopause, and that's got to be a good thing.

So, it's going to go the same way with endometriosis.

And, you know, that's where things like Google and looking things up

and awareness...

...because awareness means that women then can be...

...they can look up their symptoms and they think,

well, I might have endometriosis.

And then they can write their symptoms down, go and see their GP,

and their GP can look at their symptoms,

and then, if necessary, the GP can organise scans

and can organise, perhaps, to see a specialist.

So, you know, I think information is king,

and I think women being in control of their own bodies,

we all have to be in control of our own self.

Nobody's going to save us.

So, if we have symptoms, we should write them down,

email them, and go and see someone about it.

Do you think women are heard when the word endometriosis is brought up,

or do you think it's kind of like a bit of a topic like,

oh, women, you have periods, do you have that kind of thing?

Well, I think that's where there used to be a bit of a problem,

because, well, sometimes there may have been amongst us,

well, all women have painful periods.

But actually, yes, you know, as a man, as a kind of college,

I've never had a period, but I think they must be awful.

So, having periods must be tricky,

but some women have more painful periods than others.

And then there are the other symptoms, such as the pain with sex,

the bleeding, the pain in between the periods,

and obviously then the fertility.

So, I think awareness is only a good thing.

I mean, it's going to create more women thinking,

do I have endometriosis?

But then that's, I think, I'm a huge fan of GPs,

because GPs can...

They're the first step, aren't they?

They're the first step, and they can be a really good filter

for, I think this is normal, I think this is not normal.

So, I think GPs are used to dealing with this,

the awareness amongst all of us.

GPs, gynecologists, is much more about endometriosis.

So, that's what I would do if I was a woman.

If I had symptoms, I would think,

I'm going to go and see someone about this,

and then I'd speak to my GP, and the GP may say,

hmm, I think you need a scan here,

and that would be the first thing to do,

and that you could have a scan,

which is a relatively easy thing to do,

much easier than a smear,

but a scan is a relatively easy thing to do,

and then we can interpret the scan,

and if the symptoms can be explained,

treatment is necessary, but if they're not,

then that's where sometimes the gynecologists

would need to be involved in that care.

Can I just ask where you go from there after the scan,

and you've been diagnosed with it?

What is the, if you need an operation?

Okay, well, it depends on the situation.

So, say for example, you had a 22-year-old young woman

who's been getting painful periods,

maybe pain with sex.

She has a scan, which is showing maybe

that she's got early endometriosis.

It doesn't mean just surgery.

So, there are certain things you can do,

sometimes going on the pill, for example.

So, young women will sometimes go on the pill,

which can sometimes perhaps stabilise the endometriosis,

maybe reverse it.

And is that because it stops the period

so you're not getting that flare?

So, yes, so, yes, exactly.

So, women, when they take the pill,

some women would take the progesterone only pill,

where they don't, some women don't get any periods.

Some women would take a low-dose combined pill,

and they can back-to-back so they get less periods.

So, as you say, you're getting less periods.

And there are things called marina coils.

So, marina coils are little plastic things

you can use in young women.

They're a bit like the old-fashioned copper coils,

but they're plastic,

and they create a very small amount of progesterone.

They were invented as a contraceptive,

but the side effect is women's periods get much lighter,

and some women don't have much of a period with that.

And we think that having a marina coil in

for early endometriosis can help stabilise, maybe reverse it.

Of course, if those sort of conservative measures don't work,

then that's where sometimes some women would need the laparoscopy,

which is, you know, as a surgeon,

I'm always trying to avoid doing surgery.

But sometimes, depending on the severity of the discomfort,

and if conservative measures like the medications

we talked about don't work.

And it's, of course, a problem for fertility as well.

Exactly. And a laparoscopy is something

that people like gynecologist do all the time,

but it's not something you do lightly.

But it's where you put a telescope usually through someone's tummy button.

You know, the incision is about a centimetre,

and then you put maybe some too little incisions

about five millimetres on the side.

So you can see the uterus tubes and ovaries from the inside and the outside.

And those little patches of endometriosis,

usually you can just sort of burn away

and get rid of the endometriosis.

Wow.

And then you talk to the woman about how you can reduce

the risk of it coming back.

Because, as you were saying, it can sometimes come back,

because it's fed by periods.

So many women, if they do need surgery,

would have the laparoscopy, which is what the surgery is called.

And sometimes women would consider having a marina calling at the same time,

which can help reduce the risk of the endometriosis coming back.

And I think it's that thing of getting women to talk about it

and, you know, proactively go and see the GP.

Because, you know, I have literally, over the years,

had you up the wall with symptoms.

Doctor, I'm dying. I've got this. I've got that.

I've been very vocal.

Yeah, but what you're doing, that's not unusual.

That's, to be honest, I mean, the only difference,

I would say that you're, actually, take this the right way,

but you're an easy person to deal with.

And I mean that.

I can't go along with that.

I need to expect.

Please do.

You know, if a woman tells the doctor what her symptoms are,

our job is to sift through what symptoms are.

Well, that's nothing, or that's relevant, etc.

So we sift through that.

And that's what GPs do brilliantly.

You know, gynecologists, we think we're quite good at that,

but GPs are fantastic at doing that.

So there are certain things that you think,

ah, that doesn't sound right.

So if a woman's expressing all her ideas,

all her concerns, that's great.

The women who, dare I say, are slightly harder,

in my opinion, to diagnose,

are the women who perhaps don't come forward so much,

who are a bit quiet about it, maybe a bit shy,

maybe they don't feel as though they want to talk about period problems

and pain with sex.

You know, I spend a lot of time talking about sex.

It's really weird.

But actually, for me, it's completely normal.

So GPs, gynecologists, we talk about sex all the time.

But for some women, women need to know that they can,

if they're having pain or problems with sex,

actually it's completely normal to talk about that.

I'm still embarrassed talking about sex, and I'm 40.

My dad thinks I've only had it four times.

Four kids, and that's it.

But I think, you know, I think it's so,

I think if people tell,

and that's why I was talking a little bit about

if you write your symptoms out, say,

some women come to see me, and they've got,

I've got these symptoms, and that is just great for me,

because I can go through their symptoms,

and I can go tick, tick, cross, cross, cross.

Actually, I think you've got this.

So I think writing things down is really good for us.

But also, it means that if a woman's got a written down list of symptoms

and a written down list of questions,

the healthcare professional that's seeing her

kind of has a duty to answer all those questions.

So I think that's a good way of trying to deal with time and things there.

Yeah, I think that's a good,

because as well, if the symptoms are like on and off,

which they are with endometriosis,

or can be pain and stuff like that,

you do forget when you haven't got that pain,

you forget that you've had it, so writing it down is definitely a good way.

Because we all want things to get better.

So as you say, the period, oh, that was a really bad period.

But now it's gone, I shall feel okay,

I'll wait for the next one, then I'll wait for the next one.

So I think, yeah, I think I agree with those strategies,

write it down.

Is catching it early like key to this,

or does it not matter as much?

I think it does.

I think endometriosis tends to be progressive.

So it starts off with early,

then builds up possibly through the stages.

You know, there's no doubt we see women with stage 4 endometriosis,

not as often perhaps as we did,

because I think women are more aware of it.

And hopefully as publicity is better, they'll become even more aware of it.

And if we can, it's so much easier to treat at stage 1, stage 2.

Sometimes not even surgery is required, you see.

But stage 4 can be quite tricky to treat.

Sometimes you can't even do that through the telescope,

you sometimes have to do an open operation.

But even that's treatable.

Which is why people like me hate endometriosis.

But I think the earlier you see it, Peter, the better.

It's like anything, isn't it really?

Nip it in the bud.

Yeah, but there will be plenty of women who are similar to me,

and wait till the effects are intolerable before they see someone.

And I know that's not the right way to go about it,

but I'm sure there are people out there who wait until, you know,

there are physical symptoms rather than they think.

But that's what we're trying to help promote, isn't it?

That's what we're with awareness.

We're hoping that women will feel confident to talk about really private issues

to someone they have trust in,

so we can nip those things in the bud.

It can have a negative effect on someone's relationship as well,

if you're like in a new relationship and you're not wanting to have sex

because it's painful.

Or massive.

You know, that's like a huge part of a relationship, isn't it?

Yeah, huge, absolutely.

And you know, in a new relationship,

women may not necessarily be very happy to say that,

actually that's hurting.

And so I can only imagine for women to, you know,

sex is supposed to be a comfortable, pleasurable thing to do for it to hurt

and not something that women shy away from me.

Absolutely.

That can have a massive effect on people's relationships.

And that's where our frustration is because often there are some fairly simple,

easy things you can do to get rid of that.

Is there anything women can do lifestyle-wise, like diet, exercise,

that can reduce or improve symptoms of endometriosis?

Okay, so I would love to say, yes, if you do this.

I mean, we know that having a healthy lifestyle is clearly a good thing for us to do anyway.

Good lifestyle, good sexual health, you know, be careful about sexually transmitted infections, etc.

But if there was something magical I could say that did reduce the chance of endometriosis.

I mean, I think there's definitely a genetic link.

Some women, some women do all the right things and they get endometriosis.

Some women do all the wrong things and don't get endometriosis.

So I wish I could say that there's something dietary-wise.

That's not to say, again, to re-emphasise, I can't say that women get endometriosis

because they do that or because they don't do that.

I think early use of the pill, marina coils, I think can be helpful.

So nothing magical at this stage, I'm afraid.

So it's not linked to an inflammatory diet, like loads of alcohol and sugars.

We're trying to look at all of these things.

But if there's anything definitive that comes out, obviously we'll...

But at the moment, to be honest, I can't say that...

You couldn't say that a woman got endometriosis because she didn't do that

and a woman didn't get it because she did that.

It's not quite as simple.

It's like people don't smoke and get lung cancer.

People smoke all their lives and don't...

Obviously it doesn't help, but there's no rhyme or reason to...

All of the things you were talking about, healthy lifestyle, doing lots of exercise,

these are clearly good for how we feel and are good for us anyway,

but we can still get endometriosis.

And as a gesture of goodwill to you,

I'm very passionate about women's healthcare.

Obviously I'm a gynecologist.

So I would be very happy to see some of the women who are having problems in my rooms

and I'd be happy to see them at no charge or anything like that.

So at least then I can do a medical report for them while I can assess their symptoms

and do a medical report which I can send to them,

which they can then take to their GP and that can be useful in terms of

speeding the process up a bit and things like that.

So very happy to do that.

That's an amazing offer.

You don't have to do that.

Obviously it's an incredible thing to do.

Two hours ago, Abby said,

Jeffrey, we're in Suite 317.

And I thought, oh, she'll probably buy me a drink there.

So for a middle-aged man to have Abby.

Oh my God, yeah.

If anyone sees the text.

Come to Suite 317.

I wonder why you took time out your busy schedule.

I'm waiting for you.

You were gutted when I was here.

So these are one of the moments in life that middle-aged men like me don't get very stressed.

We're all middle-aged now, Doctor.

Hardly.

So that text message will be private and literally forever.

Apart from when you get down the pub.

That is God I didn't think about.

That's so funny.

I'm blushing.

So the least I can do.

It made me blush too.

So the least I can do is I admire what you're trying to do here.

I think it's great.

It's a lot of work for you.

But anything to help with the women, I'm happy to do that.

So it's easy for me.

So please, that's a genuine offer.

No, that's absolutely amazing.

If you have or you think you're suffering,

then you can get in touch with us at thetherapycrouch.com.

And we will forward maybe someone to you.

I really appreciate that gesture.

But obviously we can't help everyone.

But we might be able to help one or two women out there.

One a week for a long time helps quite a lot of people.

It's all just chipping away, isn't it?

Thank you, Sir.

I'm actually gobsmacked at that.

Thank you so much, Doctor.

You've helped me.

We've known each other for over 50.

Well, the amount of time we've been together really.

And you've delivered all my babies

and been there throughout my whole pregnancy.

You've had me like a nutcase on the phone with all my symptoms

and pictures of rashes and everything.

And we are where we are now.

As I said a few moments ago,

it's easier for us to cope with,

let all the symptoms out and then we can sit through.

Well, it's been an absolute pleasure.

Let me know how I can help.

We're all trying to do the same thing.

We're all trying to help women, aren't we?

Thank you.

Thanks for the pleasure.

So I actually really enjoyed those chats.

I think, you know, early diagnosis is key.

I think we gave, you know,

the guys gave some amazing insight into the facts of endometriosis,

where you can get help, you know,

and I actually can't believe that Geoffrey said he'd see one woman a week.

Well, that was an incredible gesture.

Yeah, he's trying to help.

And if we can help in any small way,

that's what it's worth doing.

I know you felt that it was an obligation to do this podcast today

because you've had so much interaction and feedback

from just you mentioning it.

And I think this podcast will really help.

And obviously that from Geoffrey Brayfoy,

will 100% help.

You know, he's talking about seeing someone once a week.

You know, if that goes on for a year,

he's going to help a lot of women.

And that is something that's going to come out of this podcast.

Yeah.

And, you know, he's a guy who's completely dedicated to his profession.

You know, he's dedicated his life to help women with these problems.

You know, he's a father of three girls himself.

You know, so it's an important thing and the fact that he has,

you know, I know he was worried about it,

it sounded like corny or I'll do this, but he genuinely wants to help.

And I am overwhelmed with that gesture.

And I think Natalie was really inspirational.

You know, she's going through this now.

She's literally just had the operation.

She's been through the whole process of freezing her eggs.

And, you know, she's there for people.

You know, she's had so many girls messaging her.

And she's been helping them as well along the way.

So we have to say about her is like, she's been so incredibly brave

coming out about something so private.

And I think what Jeffrey was saying is that it's hard for women to discuss

sometimes their problems and open up because they feel embarrassed.

Whereas she's been able to come on and explain with total honesty her issues.

Yeah.

Which is help and empower women.

You know, it's not to be ashamed of.

It's a serious condition.

One in 10 women have this.

And, you know, we can all help each other.

Let's speak up about it and, you know, get people taking this seriously.

So, yeah, I think that was very informative.

Like I say, a bit of a gear shift to the normal podcast,

but we are going to finish with the agony app.

Yeah.

I felt like I had a duty to answer some of these girls who were writing into me.

Do you know?

I felt like I haven't got all the answers.

So let's get people who are going through it now

and one of the best doctors in London for this top for this subject.

So, you know, that's what we've done.

But it's business as usual.

Well, I hope it's helped.

Let's get the back to Race Day Jack.

I wonder how he's getting on with that girl.

You're struggling.

He's either broke or they've split up.

Or both.

Yeah.

I mean, there's no way out of that, is there?

If he continues to see her, he's just, it's not feasible.

It's not sustainable.

I think he would have split up with her.

Yeah.

Top love.

Before we get into Race Day Jack or Agony Ab.

I've got an Agony Ab.

Your pods coming back next week in a few weeks, isn't it?

You know it.

God, the race is on, bitch.

I've mentioned this before.

It's like, you know, you have your wife, you have your girlfriend and you love it,

but you also like seeing the lads and having a discussion about football

and some of the things that you're not more passionate about.

Some of the things you're passionate about with them.

Well, this is not the pod to discuss this on

when you've been talking about periods for two hours.

Well, this is what I'm trying to say.

It's great to raise awareness of periods and women's issues,

but it's also great to go and discuss other things.

Yeah, but you talk about like farts and stupid stuff on yours.

Like burping and farts.

Again, issues.

Cleaning sluffer with flatulence.

Gas issues.

These are topics that need discussing.

It's not all farts and burps, you know.

Farts, burps and gulls.

There is also other stuff on there.

Do you know what?

You've never listened to it.

I haven't.

Not once.

No.

I'd listen to yours.

Because you're on it.

That's the only reason you're listening.

The only reason anyone's listening.

Too shy.

Well, we'll see, won't we, when yours comes out and there's a number one,

a race to the number one battle.

I know all my girls have got me and my boys.

Yeah, this is a great pod.

Is it going to be like a popularity contest?

Not at all.

I can't deal with that.

Not at all.

I'll actually die.

Not at all.

Don't be silly.

You know it is and you think you're going to win.

Look at his face.

What?

You're like, I hope it is.

I don't know.

I don't.

I am the nation's sweet home.

I've just skimmed across this first agony ab.

I'm slightly concerned that I might have been pissed and wrote in.

Because it's from Pete and he mentions that he's 42.

He says, hi, Abby and Pete.

Is reliving my youth at 42 a bit icky?

Life's got very boring recently and I've got a lot of younger friends who are in their

thirties.

I've been dressed just in younger and trendier, getting some piercings, i.e. nose and more

in my ears, going back to my goth days by painting the odd fingernail black and I've

even been slipping into the in the new odd word that I've learnt like, you get me blood.

My God.

Please no.

The wife hasn't said much but I can tell she thinks there's something more going on like

life crisis agony ab.

Should I pack it in and be the boring husband everyone knows or crack on and be as cool

as I think I am?

Cheers, Pete.

Do you know what?

I think there's a lot to be said about confidence.

You know, if you're confident within yourself, you can make other people believe that.

You know, happy in your own skin.

I tell Sophia all the time, all the kids are wearing these North Face jackets with a pair

of tracky bottoms and a belly top and they're all like clones of each other.

Sophia, why don't you wear something that people will copy instead of the other way around?

Like, if he's feeling good about himself with the painted nails and the piercings and he

feels like he's kind of reliving his youth, 42 is not old.

Well, you know, that's my age and I feel great.

But it does sound like us.

You know, you're 42.

Your name's Pete.

You've got no piercings.

We do hang around with 30-year-olds.

I'm slightly concerned about this email.

But I still feel like I'm 30-odd, you know?

But my dad says that.

My dad's like, he still feels like he's 21 in his head.

And I do.

Like, sometimes I don't even feel like I'm old enough to be a mum in my head.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

But also, if I came in, right, and I hadn't told you anything and I came in with a nose

piercing, right, an earring and a load of tats, and I started saying, are you all right, blood?

And things like that, you would think I'm a bit of a knob.

You thought he's obviously, he said a few more piercings and go back to his ghost days.

So his wife is obviously fully aware that he's got that kind of style going on anyway.

It's like if a serpher came in with a tattoo and an earring, he wouldn't bat an eyelid.

If you did, you would, because you haven't got any of those things, you're quite conservatively dressed.

But like, I've always been sort of, I've never been like, I don't want to class myself ever

as being a trendsetter, right?

But all of a sudden, more of a classic look, right?

So if I then did get a mohawk and an earring and a tattoo, you would think I'd have a,

I was having a midlife crisis.

Yeah.

Which you will be.

And a Ferrari, Ferrari in the garage.

But this is the thing that then go for, isn't it?

You know, I know this podcast is about, you know, female issues.

But then go through a thing where they, they do go, it's, it's a different thing.

But, and it's obviously made a joke of, but, you know, you do get to the age where you think,

Oh, have I gone?

Have I gone?

Like, am I, am I not attractive anymore?

Am I like boring?

You know, it's definitely a thing, isn't it?

Well, not for you, isn't it?

No, I don't, I don't, I don't.

You could never be classed as boring.

You haven't gone.

No, but I don't feel like that, but Pete does.

Pete Thoughty too from Sorry Does.

Just testing the water in, my own email.

No, it is, the midlife crisis is a thing.

It is a thing.

I think he should discuss with his wife, would you mind if I got an earring?

Would it, would it make you feel ill?

I quite like earrings on certain men.

If I got an earring, you would laugh.

You're enough.

Yeah, but you're not the earring kind of guy.

Yeah, but neither is Pete.

That's what I'm saying.

He feels boring and he wants to, you know, spice it all up.

I don't ever eat an earring, is the way to do that.

No, good luck with it, Pete, though.

You know what I mean?

Just go for it, I say.

Go for it.

He's not doing anyone any harm.

No.

Just be who you want to be.

Exactly.

This one's addressed to you, so I don't know if you want to read it.

She's spelt my name wrong.

Fucking knob-ed.

Hey, Abby, I think I've literally done the most embarrassing thing known to man.

My boyfriend invited me to his family home for the first time in Yorkshire.

We had a lovely night with a home-cooked meal from his mum,

and then a few drinks snuggled up by the fire.

It's a beautiful old cottage in a quiet, quaint town, very different from London,

which is where I'm from.

His parents were so welcoming and made a big fuss over me

after a lovely night of drinking and laughing.

Sorry.

His parents were so welcoming.

His parents were so welcoming and made a big fuss over me.

Stop!

You just make me nervous because you've made it a thing now.

What?

If you can't read, it's not a thing.

I can read.

I can't read under pressure, and because you've made a thing of it now.

It's not a thing.

It makes me scared, and then I make a mistake.

Okay, okay.

Just leave me alone.

Okay, go from welcoming.

His parents were so welcoming and made a big fuss over me,

and after a lovely night of drinking and laughing,

we headed up to our room to go to bed.

Before heading to sleep, I stepped out to go to the bathroom.

I didn't want to wake up his parents, so I left the lights off,

trying to step on parts of the wooden floor that weren't creaky

and made my way to the loo.

I got to the loo and made my way over to the toilet.

I pulled down my pajama bottoms and sat down to my absolute horror.

I felt the bare, hairy legs of a man underneath me.

In that moment, I knew I had just sat, bummed.

On my boyfriend's dad's lap, we both screamed.

Oh, my God.

My boyfriend came running into the bathroom,

flicked on the light, and to his surprise,

found me and his father mid-pulling up our trousers.

Let's just say breakfast the next morning was the most awkward

and painful moment of my life.

No one mentioned a word.

No one even mentioned it.

No.

My boyfriend luckily laughed it off,

but how the hell can I ever look as dad in the eye again?

I think the dad's got, you've got to laugh at that.

I think that's so funny.

If everyone laughs about it, it's gone, isn't it?

Like, if you remember what you did.

Straight away to breakfast, I'm like, oh, there she is.

She's going to the toilet.

Yeah, watch it.

It's like when I slapped that man's bum that time.

What?

And then every time I seen him, he was like,

go on, you know you want him.

So I actually slapped a football manager's bottom by mistake.

It was a dare that someone made me do without telling me.

It was a football manager.

And now every time I see him, he's like, go on.

You know you want him.

Make your own minds up who that is.

Who is it?

Well, I know.

I'm just saying to the listeners.

You don't want to expose him.

The bummy.

The bummy?

I don't think we can go up there.

The bummy?

No.

You the bummy?

I'm the bum smacker and he's the bum smackery.

I mean, this is outrageous, isn't it?

I don't know.

It's hilarious.

I think it's so funny.

But you would die, wouldn't you?

You would die.

One of the maddest parts of this whole situation is,

you know, that goes for a midnight dump.

With the lights off.

A dark midnight dump.

You could have been having a sit down week.

A sit down week.

Didn't something similar happen to one of your friends?

Like I think they've been on a night out

and he was sitting in his girlfriend's house

and then went into the mum's room

and like weed on her or something.

Yeah.

This is my mate who will remain nameless.

It was his own wife.

Stossachie and Zingy.

My mate, Goog.

It's old Googie when it...

Goog went into his mate's house,

into his mum's bedroom and he weed on his mum

and he was still living at home at like 25.

And that was sort of the final straw.

So he weed on his own mum or his mates mum?

Weed on his own mum.

Jesus Christ.

It was a low point for him.

What about his mum?

Yeah.

But mum's are used to being weed on.

Are they?

Yeah.

By the children and babies.

Look what Milf stewed on.

Shut up.

I mean, when you...

He could have a gulp too.

When you're changing a baby's nappy.

Sorry.

Sorry.

What's wrong with you?

It's disgusting.

This is what I'm dealing with.

I mean, when you're changing a baby's nappy,

they weed on you.

You said it.

Right.

Got you now.

Me dad did that.

Me dad used to weed in the wardrobe.

Have you ever done that?

Quite common.

I remember I would go out and stay in my mate's house once

and waking up in the morning with no pants on.

And I had no gear on and I went, oh my God.

You in at Susanne or Bumpard?

I had no pants and then I went, oh my God, what the hell?

And then I was like, fuck, that's sort of like,

everyone's sleeps are sort of sneaked around.

And then I went to the toilet and they were just on the floor

in the toilet.

And they were like, I'd weed on them.

So I don't know if I'd weed myself in the middle of the night

or what.

And I went and left my pants in the bathroom.

Were you drunk?

And then I got back to bed.

We'd had a few pints.

Yeah, I was quite young.

I thought you didn't drink when you were young?

No, I cut the pints.

I was with a few of the lads, yeah, like football boys.

And I think I was in over my head really.

Was there any girls then?

No, God, no.

No, it was like a sleepover.

I was old enough to drink, obviously.

You know, I was having them at 18.

Underage drink?

No, no, no.

Good, no.

That's dangerous.

But yeah, anyway, my parents were in the bathroom.

I think it's mad the way like our producer,

like we're only like six episodes in or something.

Our producer goes on holiday.

Like we haven't had a holiday.

No, he swans off.

What do you mean?

We had the holiday episode.

Working your working, though, on holiday.

Oh, we're going to make your life difficult with this one.

Okay.

Why do men have to list everything they've done around the house?

Women just get on with it.

But when a man does something, it's like breaking news

and they expect a medal.

Claire, I actually find it the other way around.

Yeah, you do it all the time.

I do it to you because you don't realise the cogs involved

that make our house run like clockwork.

And it's like me.

It's like, I'm like seven million cogs.

Yeah.

But what I would totally agree with Claire here is

I don't want to hear about it.

I just wanted to run smoothly without, you know,

without this constant, I've done this.

I've done that.

And I like to make you aware.

I appreciate you know that.

I'm only joking.

I appreciate what you do.

You do far more than me.

I know that.

And you're very good.

The house runs because of you.

That is true.

But just mention it a bit less.

It's just something to keep on top of.

It's just this admin I keep going on.

Just keep on top of things.

Definitely, but just don't bring me into it.

Hi, both.

I'm currently living in the shadows of my parents' house.

I'm 21.

I'm still living at home with my mum, dad, big sister

and little brother.

As all young men do, I watch the occasional blue movie

when the stress of daily life gets too much.

I thought you said this was part about women's issues.

But you know men listen to this as well.

And they want to know.

He's watching your blue movie at his mum's house.

To clear his head, he's saying,

I've got uni work at the moment.

I need a clear head.

So on the other night, my whole family are downstairs

watching Google box, which isn't really my thing.

So I thought I'll just go to my room

and he's put this in inverted commons, poach the egg.

Poach the egg?

What does that mean?

His words, not mine.

I don't know.

What does that actually mean?

I don't know what you mean.

I'm a guest.

He's poaching.

I've never made a poached egg.

I'm a fried or boiled kind of egg girl.

Let me just work this out.

When you poach an egg, you swirl the water.

OK.

And then crack the egg and put it in.

Right.

So why is that like a sexual...

You know, it's always different strokes for different folks.

Can you tell me?

Does he like dip his willy in water?

Dip his willy.

I don't know.

No?

Listen, I don't know what the emboiling was.

I doubt that.

He might do.

Poach the egg?

It might be in really thick.

Dip his willy in boiled water.

Well, I don't know.

I can't even use my imagination to poach the egg in.

OK.

Well, listen, you know, make your own minds up, folks.

Can you tell me?

I have no idea what he's doing.

He's poaching the egg.

I fired up to go to my content and off I went.

Fired up?

There was no sound.

I kept turning my phone up thinking it must be a dodgy video or something until a few

minutes later, I heard through the floor.

My phone was connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the living room.

My parents and little brother went on holiday in the early hours of the next morning.

I got a text on the family group chat saying, Kenny, when we get back, we need to have a

serious talk.

Kenny?

I need to be on the...

I need to be waiting on the dinner table at 1 p.m. on Thursday when they arrive home.

What the hell?

My sister told me they'd all heard and couldn't turn it off and all knew what I was doing.

She's making it even worse with the constant reminders.

She sent a calendar invite with the heading, rest in peace, Kenny, 1 p.m. Thursday.

Is this the sister?

Yeah.

Shit staring.

Oh, I do that.

Please help me come up with the best lie to get out of this one.

Kenny, he's the only 21.

He's poaching the egg for fun at 21.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

You shouldn't have too many eggs in one day.

I've heard.

Me?

You go blind.

Is that what it does?

No?

Oh, for God's sake.

Sorry, I'm not in this lad banter.

Oh, God.

Laddy banter.

Oh, God.

Wow.

What's the bloody egg?

What's the frigging egg?

Well, crikey.

So, what does he do?

How does he lie?

How does he get himself out of this one?

I just know I would do exactly the same thing.

You would definitely do that.

The sister.

I think it's hilarious.

Like humiliate to death.

That's what I do.

You know my brother once.

So, my mom, obviously, her eyesight's not great without her glasses.

And she's got these two little dogs, buddy and scamp, little miniature morkeys.

And they were playing like tug of war with something.

And my mom was like, oh, what's that?

And grabbed it out of the mouths and it was a condom.

A used condom with a knot in.

And my mom was horrified and just laid it on my brother's bed

and he was still in school at the time.

Oh, my God.

And he had to come home to the wrath of that and I was so happy.

I was laughing at her.

Well, this is addressed to you.

But I'll read it.

Hey, Abbs, I need help.

I'm dating the most amazing Downsworth guy.

He's so different from other men.

He was previously dated.

He were all flashy, superficial and all turned out to be arseholes.

He's cultured.

He works in the arts and his lovely creative soul.

I'm in a completely different industry.

I've worked my arse off to build an empire,

renting out multiple houses on Airbnb.

I'm a really successful business woman and modest by the sounds of it.

Is that what she wrote all you're saying?

No, I just said it.

To be fair, she did say it.

Listen.

Even if I do say so myself, she did say that.

Don't knock a sister down.

No, no, no.

She's hustling.

She's hustling.

She's getting the peas.

I like going on nice holidays, dining at fancy restaurants and dressing well.

And I usually find myself paying for me and my partner to maintain this lifestyle that I love.

It's honestly not a problem at all.

I just like having an amazing time with him.

But for some reason, this is the one thing we always end up having arguments about.

We're in the south of France, living the dream, amazing food, champagne on tap.

But dinner, every time the bill came, it was so awkward.

At the last dinner before heading home, I suggested that I send him money so that in the future,

he can pay for the bill when we go out for dinner and not feel embarrassed.

He didn't take this well at all.

I ended up having a huge explosive argument and barely talked on the plane home.

This is the only thing we ever fight about.

Everything else is perfect.

How the hell do I navigate this situation without making him insecure?

I don't want to compromise this lifestyle that I've worked so hard to achieve,

but I also don't want to ruin my relationship.

I can see both sides here.

She's obviously done well for herself.

She's worked hard.

She's got to a position of power or a position to where she wants to be

and is comfortable funding a lifestyle that she really wants.

Met this guy who's not at the same level but really likes him.

I can see for anyone that could be a little bit demoralising or... I don't know.

I don't know.

I think this is a hard one to navigate.

I think as a man, if someone said to you,

do you want me to put some money in your bank account so you can pay?

I know.

I know I've got friends who do that.

They give their boyfriends cards.

They look like they're paying the bill and stuff.

Not everyone.

No, but I just know how I would feel.

I wouldn't feel great.

That wasn't me in that situation.

I would say to you, look, I love you and I love going out on these great holidays

and I like going to expensive places, but I am not on your level

and I feel embarrassed and I feel and I'm sorry that I can't.

I'm doing my best, but I just can't pay for this.

And then I think she'll even go,

okay, we'll continue to do these things and that sort of kills that problem dead.

Killed your goodness.

Because I know how I would feel. I wouldn't feel too comfortable.

But even if she says that to him, he still might feel crappy about the situation.

I think it's worse going on these holidays.

Bit more of a victim.

But I think it's worse going on these holidays and not saying anything.

If you just go in around and taking it,

it's always going to come up eventually, isn't it?

But there's men who do this for a living.

There's some men who do this for...

They're rotten scoundrels.

They're rotten scoundrels, yeah?

They're not worried. Do you know what?

It's a tough one because...

It's a tough one, but it does go down.

I don't know what I'm being all philosophical today.

I'm in the vibe of just do what makes you happy

and don't worry about what anyone says or feels or thinks about you.

Hmm, which is I like you.

What?

What the hell?

I don't care about what anyone says.

You carefree kind of let go with the flow kind of girl.

I am.

Okay.

111.

111.

Look, she's living the life of Riley.

She's rich.

She's hot.

She's in the South of France.

Champagne on tap.

She's got a hot guy.

Who cares if he's not paying the bill?

Shut up.

You've got yourself there.

You're smashing life, girl.

Go for it.

That's what I say.

Okay.

What do you say?

Yeah, I mean, I know how I would feel in that situation being a fella,

but like if it's her and she's happy with it,

keep going.

She should just reassure him.

She should say, look, don't feel bad.

We're having a great time.

Luckily, I earn enough money to get us to these places.

You know, and what matters is that we're having the best time together.

So just enjoy it while it lasts.

Yeah, touche.

God, I feel like this episode has been an emotional rollercoaster.

You know, we've had a laugh.

We've done our typical therapy crouch vibe,

but we've also covered some hard hitting real problems.

We've touched on a subject that's close to your heart

and we've done it in the right way by someone who's going through the journey

and someone who can educate us on the issues.

Well, that's what I wanted to do.

You know, I'm not equipped to answer all these questions

that these girls are sending into me.

And I genuinely felt bad that I couldn't answer them or help them.

So I felt like it was my duty to use this platform

and get an expert on and give some advice on where to find help

and what to do.

Yeah.

And hopefully we've done that.

Hopefully you've enjoyed it.

Get your questions in, you know, Dr. Jeffrey Broughway

has very kindly offered his services to anyone who's really struggling with this.

So get your emails into thetherapycrouch.com,

obviously any range of subjects.

You know, all the fun stuff we want coming in as well,

but also if you are having a serious issue,

we can hopefully help.

Well, Jeffrey can anyway.

Yeah.

I think that's something that I would like to develop more on this podcast.

You know, I know it's a therapy crouch.

It's lighthearted.

It's a place of escapism,

but we can help and tackle some serious issues along the way.

And we will be putting on our website more information on endometriosis

and where you can find info and get advice and more help.

But yeah, that's it for this week.

And thanks for listening to us.

Yeah.

And you can catch us on our socials,

Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and.

Thetherapycrouch.com and that Peter Crouch podcast is back.

You can get in touch on that Peter Crouch podcast.com.

How dare you plug your.

That thing's shy.

She must plug.

She must plug.

How dare you plug your.

Oh, it's better.

How dare you plug your podcast on this.

Honestly, it's unreal.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.