Les Grosses Têtes: PÉPITE - Le concours des histoires drôles

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Poli Aurélie, do you understand

what Jean-Phi is saying?

You Aurélie, of course.

Overall, it's okay.

You're not a French, you're Belgian.

I listen to the stars.

Oh yes, you're Belgian.

I think there's a Belgian story.

Oh my God, it's on me.

I don't know how to speak accent.

Amongst the ones we offered at our big stages of the day,

your goal, Aurélie,

is to guess the one

that will be the best to tell his story.

There is a series of ten resorts to win,

and you can choose between the Vendée,

the Atlantic Law, the Bretagne.

One of the wonderful hotels TALASSO and SPA

that TALASSO.com offers you.

TALASSO.com, simply, is the ideal place

to choose its TALASSO,

one of the four resorts.

You're waiting for a condition to bet

on the right mattress.

What do you do in your life, Aurélie?

So I'm a project manager in a company.

Well, so you want to have fun time by time,

and in your opinion, who can tell

the best of his story today?

We have specialists, you have to say.

Well, yes, I was waiting for a short tour of that

to get a little...

Well, a little bit to ask Jean-Fy,

what kind of story is his story?

He's good.

He's good.

He's funny.

Yeah, Jean-Marie Bigas.

She's not bad.

As usual, I'm taking a story from me,

but here, we offered me a joke

that I find very good.

Ah, very good.

So who's going to do it?

Ma Ma Yacoupe.

I don't understand her.

Well, yes, you're kidding me.

Ariel Dombal.

Well, I've changed my joke to another one.

Oh yes, because you didn't want to tell the joke

that you gave to whom you refilled it, so...

Well, it's Rachelle who's going to say it.

Rachelle is pretty, she's happy.

Thank you for the gift.

You're welcome then.

Well, I have the only problem,

is that I have to do the accent again.

Well, listen to me.

So, what do you think, Aurélie?

Well, at the bottom, I would have liked to do the rest

because I wanted to give it to him for now.

But if he gives me the accent again, I'll believe you.

You don't believe him, so...

Well, a little less.

So, I want to tell you, I'm going to do the accent north.

Honestly, I'm going to give it to Jean-François.

Jean-François Jansen, perfect.

Oh, well then...

I don't know.

Well, tell us why.

Marcela Yacoupe is sad because she thought

that you were going to bet on the specialist...

Well, yes, of course, the world champion.

Of the funny story, Jean-Marie Bigard, but...

The favorite petaman of the French.

But we made your choice

and maybe the public will laugh more

at Jean-François's joke than Jean-Marie's.

We're going to start with Rachelle Kahn.

I remember that it's the story we gave to Ariel

and that she didn't want to read.

In the Conjugal book, a man says to his wife,

Dear, I would like to make love behind you.

No.

Dear, I beg you.

I tell you, I don't want to.

So, well, they normally make love in the position of the missionary.

And here it is, after a contraction of the young woman,

he finds himself locked up.

Impossible to separate.

The man manages to reach the phone on the night table.

An ambulance comes and looks for them.

We roll them in a cover and a hospital address,

where they are locked up.

The next week, always in the Conjugal book,

the husband says,

Dear, I want to make love behind you.

No, no, no, no, don't insist.

Well, listen, dear,

the last time you listened to me,

we could have gone to the hospital by foot.

Why didn't you want to tell Ariel?

But because I think that Rachel told her.

Well, tell us your story, Ariel.

Well, then, Rachel's joke.

So, a blonde is dressed in a dress.

Oh, my God, my God, my God, my God,

make me think of sending an SMS to my mother.

Oh, my God, my God.

But what's going on?

Okay, everything is fine.

But yes, but it's just to tell her

not to look for her laptop.

She forgot it at home.

I have no idea.

No, but frankly,

Ariel exchanged Rachel's joke

against Tien,

I wouldn't have done it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I wouldn't exchange my Ariel joke

against Ariel's two girls.

So, you read it?

Yes, yes.

Well, don't make fun of you, anyway.

Exactly.

So, once in a restaurant in Terras,

by a beautiful summer day,

a Belgian client between Furieux in the interior

and apostrophe the boss.

Tell me boss.

Yes, that's right.

Tell me boss.

Tell me boss.

I was young outside with my wife

and you see the cut in the middle of the meal.

She just received a big pie on the front.

It's disgusting once.

Sir, boss,

I'm quite confused.

I'm going to give you a piece of paper

to wipe it off.

But my poor friend,

it's too late,

he stole it.

I'm sure that...

She's good.

It's the accent of Monet Beck.

It's not bad.

I can't say that it's the three stories

that we've heard

that are the winners,

in advance,

unless Mr. Hase really got the best,

but I think we're going to have

even better with Marcela, Jean-Marie

and Jean-Philippe.

You're confident, Aurélie?

Yes, yes.

I think so.

There's no way.

Well, first of all, Marcela,

there's no way.

The worst, like that.

We're going to get rid of...

The worst, the worst,

because it's the other side.

I hope she didn't get it.

Textual,

two blondes

are trying on clothes.

In fact,

you knew that

you needed three moutons

to make a wool sweater.

No...

I didn't know

that he knew three sides.

She's very bad.

No, no, no, no,

that's not it.

She really didn't know

how to tell.

That's it,

but otherwise,

it's pretty funny.

She's good at this joke.

I'm not going to tell her.

I'm going to tell her.

Listen, it was stupid.

I didn't know how to defend myself,

and now you're going down like that.

No, no, no.

I didn't go down.

But yes.

On the last phase,

you could have said,

well,

you need three moutons

to make a sweater.

I think it was

quite clear enough

that you were like,

oh, oh, oh, oh,

for an hour,

people left,

and then

it was time to

make the shop work.

When there was no one,

do you understand?

Show him, Mr. Bigard,

how to do it.

Show him.

That's it.

A guy who says to his mother,

say,

make a head.

He says,

I don't understand.

My wife wants to divorce me.

Well,

what have you done to her?

Nothing.

I don't understand.

Figure it out.

Last night,

I went out of the cafe,

from the village,

a little drunk,

but not too late.

You see,

I went in

and for once,

my wife welcomed me

all naked,

with just

little extremely sexy underwear.

She told me,

come on,

darling,

if you want,

you can do

everything you want

afterwards.

And then he said,

so?

Well,

he said,

so,

I'll attach it.

He said,

yes,

and then

I went back

and drink a beer,

or a bistro.

Oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

oh,

which allows me to transform from shit into butter.

So I said, it's incredible.

And I said, yes, especially from shit that I never miss.

The first matter, I have it all the time.

So I was lucky thanks to that.

And he said, yes, it's a very secret process of chemistry that I put to the point.

And the other one said, well, listen, if you want, I'm going to Britain.

That's where I have my factory.

Come to me, I'll take you, I'll show you how it works.

So he said, yes, I want to have the transformation process of the shit into butter.

So he goes to Britain, all that.

The other one shows his house, a great village, you see.

He was lucky thanks to that.

And then he says, well, you see, it's my factory.

So it's a factory with, indeed, there are big silos, you see.

There's a whole process of chemistry that goes into the factory.

He shows me, he says, yes, it's big, it's huge.

He says, yes, we use the whole world, you know, we use the whole world.

So he says, well, come on, I'll show you.

So he takes it to a room where there is the first matter,

big shitty silos, you see.

And then, indeed, there is a shitty dose that goes on the carpet.

And then they do all around the factory like that.

They arrive on the side, indeed, well, it's a butter mode.

So he says, it's incredible.

And he says, but you can do all the sizes.

Yes, as long as I put the shit, as long as it's butter.

He says, yes, it's crazy.

And then, indeed, it's real butter.

It's a big mode.

So the other one says, well, here, I'll make you taste it.

He makes a tartine with the mode that just came out of the trans-sorbet.

He makes a tartine like that.

He gives the other one, he says, here, it's good, you'll see.

And the other one says, oh yeah, it's good.

He says, well, indeed, it's good butter.

And he says, on the other hand, there is still a little shitty taste behind it.

And the other one says, oh yeah, I know.

Mr. Bigard, my first show was called, oh well, yes,

because it was the real fall of this show.

Oh well, yes.

And it's still a little shitty taste.

Oh well, yes.

We knew it.

Honestly, I didn't understand it.

We knew it, but it was funny anyway.

You were well beaten, actually.

Yeah, Aurélie will be able to leave in Tadassau.

And I liked it.

It's what you gave you.

You preferred to tell a story.

Yes, I can tell it.

Of yours too.

No, I'm going to do it, since he didn't want to do it, Mr. Johnson.

And I liked it.

I don't know if you know him, Mr. Bigard.

It's a book.

It's a book, really, it's boring.

And it goes on in a bus.

It's installed in the bus,

and then suddenly it starts screaming,

all the guys who are behind the bus, it's the PD.

Those who are on the right, it's the cockies.

And those who drive the bus, it's a asshole.

The driver, he hears that.

He's a genius, a fucking freck.

He freaks, he turns to the other guy and to the book.

And he does a little repeat what you said.

It's who's the PD, the cockies and the asshole.

And the driver answers,

what do I know now?

With your braking at the bank, you've all mixed them up.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.