The Therapy Crouch: I AM NOT A FISH

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Now that will ask them to shave my pubes then.

Turns out a fucking puppy has a babe back there.

So I thought, she likes that, I'll give it to her.

No, but I don't want people to think, oh my god, we're on the rocks.

No, no, no, she's not.

It's going to be on close to magazine, aren't you seeing it?

Why did I come along then?

Because you need to pay.

Abba just do fellow with the quiff at the front.

The kids are in the middle, I'm sat in the back.

Hello and welcome to Therapy Crouch, it's me, Peter Crouch.

Where are you laughing at?

That's very upbeat.

Well, I am upbeat.

We're on an away game.

We are in, it's actually a five-star hotel, even though it doesn't look like it is.

It does look like a restaurant a little bit.

Fucking lie.

It's giving me Chinese restaurants.

I feel like I'm on like...

Well, it's slightly different work.

Do you remember like that Maya video?

I feel like I'm in that.

Oh, really?

It's a bit Cisco in here.

Do you know what I mean? It's a bit thong-thong.

Is it?

I think so.

I feel like the dragon.

Thong-thong wasn't the first thing I thought of.

OK, we're on an away game today.

As you can see, we're not in therapy HQ.

What are your thoughts, obviously?

I know, like, you're all about the Feng Shui and the rugs and the cushions.

So...

How is this sitting with you?

Obviously, doing my interior show.

What would be described as my idea of hell is this room?

OK, all right.

To be honest.

Why? What would you make difference about this room?

I hate an accent cushion.

I hate the...

An accent cushion.

I hate a red cushion with, like, black furniture on like this.

Once cream sofa.

Not feeling it then.

No.

OK, so why are we on an away day today?

Because we're busy doing our book promo.

We had a few interviews on the radio today, obviously, with the book.

And then we are going...

We've got a bit of time to record the podcast

and then we're going to go on a one-show.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How did the interviews go this morning?

Yeah, the interviews were good.

We went... We were on Capitol.

We were Chris Evans, who I love.

We're Chris Stark, Pete's...

Mm.

On the half.

On the half of the best podcast around.

But technically, it's not the best podcast, is it?

Well, it depends.

It's not that.

It depends if you're talking numbers or not.

We are talking numbers.

We are talking numbers.

Ross.

Yeah, we'll smash now.

No one's to hear that football-driven anymore.

They're not.

It's outdated.

Yeah.

Well, shall we just get into what Ross was...

So, we've just been... We've just been to them out.

So, we've done...

Now we're talking about Ross.

Let's just get on the fact that he was chatting up

the waitress in Spanish a minute ago.

So, let's set the scene.

So, we've just had a busy morning of radio interviews,

you know, talking about the book,

promo in the book, which, you know, I find quite difficult.

I know Pete's had three books out.

Three number one best-selling books my eye had.

And so, you're a bit of a kind of...

He's a big work.

Yeah. Professional at this.

Professional at this.

Baller. People like to say.

Ha ha ha.

The next road, though.

It's a bit odd for me to kind of do this kind of thing

and talk about the book and ourselves.

I know we talk about ourselves constantly on this podcast,

but, you know, being in our living room with my husband,

you know, it kind of doesn't feel like work,

but like actually going out into the big smoke,

talking about ourselves.

The big smoke.

You're not in Sorry Anymore.

I'm not in Sorry Anymore, baby.

You know, it's slightly out my comfort zone.

I don't really like it.

So, as a treat, Pete took us for a celebration-y lunch.

Yeah, it was lovely.

Where did we go? The Dove Tale?

Best grant I've ever had.

Oh, my God.

It was incredible, actually.

Should we just do a little kind of breakdown of the courses?

Yeah.

So, obviously, there was a Bellini on arrival.

They obviously listened to them.

So, we had starters.

Oysters.

Oysters.

Don't forget any ideas.

Oysters.

That wasn't the word.

Scallops.

What else did we have?

We had artichokes with, like, eggs.

No, it was leeks.

Were they leeks?

Leeks with egg.

Beef corpaccio with these, like, triple cooked chips.

That was so awesome.

Then we had...

There was a T-bone with the sherbet.

Yeah.

Niccabocca glory for afters.

Ugh.

Like, ten desserts, ten courses, ten starters.

So...

That was a big treat. It was lovely.

Big treat.

Thank you.

Roscoe carried away.

That's all it was.

Roscoe carried away the situation, obviously.

It was a nice afternoon.

It's like Roscoe's, like, party trick, isn't it?

Oh, sorry.

Did I hear someone Spanish?

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

Ah, sí.

I can smell the accent tomorrow.

He doesn't just say...

Are you from Spain?

He goes, are you from Spain?

Or are you a fucking guy?

And he doesn't say...

He doesn't just say Madrid.

He says...

Yeah, but the thing is...

He's a twat.

No, it's impressive, Ros.

No, it's very good.

If I could do it, I'd be doing it everywhere I went.

It just makes me think...

It just makes me reassess my life

when I, you know, just to be bilingual.

It's one of the best things.

I think it is impressive, and it's something that...

I'd love our kids to have a little string to the bow.

But I think if we want to do that,

we have to upstix and make the move,

because two hours a week with a Spanish tutor

is not going to cut the mustard.

Any tips, Ros?

Yeah, I agree with that, but you've got to move there.

I did a degree, and I'd probably like more in the eight months.

University of Sheffield, don't you know?

Yeah, I'd probably like more in Badajoz,

which is where I live first.

Where, sorry?

Badajoz.

Did you eat some chorizo?

Oh, you were there?

Corizo in Badajoz.

It's got a list, all of a sudden.

That's enough. Take the piss out of Ros.

No, it's impressive.

What have you been up to this week?

Had a good week?

We were laughing with you all week.

Yeah, yeah.

It's been nice, though, isn't it?

OK, so I've had a week off.

We've finished the show, the interior show,

the show's out.

Very proud of it.

Very exciting.

It's had a really good reaction as well.

Yeah.

You should be proud.

Yeah.

Are you proud?

No, I am.

I've just met some incredible people.

I've worked with an incredible team.

Sally, my boss, who Pete nearly got me fired from.

You know, with the WhatsApp snap lock,

or whatever it's called.

Chat lock.

Chat lock.

You know, it's just so nice to see it all come together.

You know, we've got the most incredible camera man who,

you know, at the time, you're like,

oh, God, we have to do that again.

But, you know, they come up,

they create the most incredible shots.

So very proud and don't like watching myself on TV.

So kind of a big deal.

So we've had a week off.

So I'm doing a few home improvements.

We've got the puppy.

The puppy has completely fucked my rug so much.

I told you so.

The puppy has completely destroyed the rug.

The silk one?

No, not the silk.

Well, that one, yeah.

But my normal rugs in my kitchen, the rim.

Doing every rug we've got.

Rim rug.

It's demolishing.

Yeah, like, it's not even,

you can walk all over the rim now,

because there's shits all over it.

I've actually put them in the skip today.

A dog?

No, the rugs.

Okay.

Have you really?

Yes.

So, like, all that,

all that kind of things you're saying to me and the kids

about not standing on it.

You get a dog that we didn't need.

We do need it.

I love him.

He's lovely.

There's not much bigger.

There's not much bigger?

Huh?

He's got any bigger?

No, he's bigger.

But he's so needy.

Like, he's hysterical if I leave the room,

but, like, he has to sleep in bed with us

because he can't go downstairs.

But he sleeps sound the whole night

until we get up and he's incredible.

And it's not like a little mini ginger hug at night.

There isn't.

It's not my girlfriend's, anyway.

Ross, don't be telling our audience she's ginger.

She's ginger going to lose followers.

Are we gingerist?

I feel like I should tell you about my dream I had

where Ab left me.

It was so, it was so real.

Isn't that a piece of...

I was...

No, no, I was actually quite upset, believe it or not.

Yeah, this fella, he was like,

you know, have you seen the kids now?

They have the little shame,

the little curly perm fringe.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen them.

Yeah, he was like, young, and he had one of them.

How young, though?

So, like, weird young?

No, not weird young.

It was like, he was old enough, but...

You just...

You just...

Loved him.

Loved.

And then, I remember, like, so Ab was going,

like, you're not seeing the kids.

That's it.

Now, you're done now.

Me and whatever this fella's name is.

Alejandro.

Yeah.

Alejandro.

Me and Lorenzo were off.

In my dream, I don't know how I ended up there.

Ab was there, and we got, like, obviously,

like a seven-seat because of the kids or whatever.

So, Ab and this new fella with the quiff at the front.

The kids were in the middle.

I'm sat in the back.

On a day out.

I was like, what?

I don't know how I ended up there in my dream.

It's co-parenting.

It's co-parenting.

It's good.

We can split up amicably.

Well, I sit in the back, though.

Me and Lorenzo driving the...

Driving the Viano.

Not a problem.

You're in the back with the picnic and the puppies.

I couldn't believe it.

I couldn't believe it.

Pete's been googling soft perms ever since.

Oh, my God.

No, but the funny thing is...

So realistic, though.

The funny thing is, a few weeks before,

I had the exact same dream that Pete fell in love with someone else

and left me and I was hysterical.

Have you ever had them dream so you wake up in them

and your heart is broke?

Your heart is broken and you cannot function.

And I was crying in the night and Pete was like,

oh, God, what's wrong with you?

You, like, shouted at me.

No, because you were shouting at me and then you were offish with me

and I said, it's a dream.

It's not... I didn't do anything.

But in my dream, Pete was like,

I'm so sorry that I've hurt you,

but there's nothing I can do because I am totally in love with this girl.

Like, and whatever you say to me is not going to change my mind.

I'm not going to go back.

You're done.

So I was saying in the dream.

And I am so in love, yeah.

You were like, I am so in love with this person.

Like, not and it's going to keep me away from her.

And I was, like, dying.

That's not nice, is it?

No, but when I was crying about it,

you were like, oh, shut up.

Get a grip.

She's great.

Claudia is great.

But what does that mean?

What does that signify?

It's weird that we both had that dream.

We should get a dream expert on.

Do they exist?

Yeah.

Probably.

Fucking Russell, um...

Oh, he does the stars.

Kurt Russell.

You know he is.

Grant Russell?

Russell Grant.

No, that's Russell.

No, it's not Russell Grant, is it?

It's Russell Grant.

That's the stars.

The astrologer.

Astrologer.

Yeah.

Star signs and stuff like that.

He's not a dream man, is he?

Like, it's when your birthday is.

Let's try and kind of decode this dream.

Well, you're both thinking about leaving each other, surely?

No.

What I think this dream...

I'm not.

What I think this dream means is that we've both felt overwhelmed lately with our own personal works.

And we don't really want to do that and want to be together and reconnect.

Let's go with that.

I'm going to go with that.

I'm glad I didn't waste time getting a dream expert.

But if you think about it, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it?

It does, babe.

You know, because you've been so busy doing your stuff.

I've been so busy doing my stuff.

And generally, like for the past nearly 20 years, we don't do anything apart.

So I think it's kind of had a little bit of a shift in both of our kind of...

But you've had a go at me.

What's that thing called?

That?

Auras.

Mentor hat.

No, we've had like a little, you know, it's kind of made us go, oh, we need to.

Reconnect, which is what I'm trying to do.

I'm booking stuff, stuff going in the diary.

Have you noticed?

Books, a few little trips and things like that.

No, but I don't want people to think, oh my God, we're on the rocks.

No, no, no, it's just like...

It's going to be, it's going to be on closer magazine and see.

Pete and Abby, they're on the rocks.

No, far from it, but it's...

We actually miss each other.

Yeah.

Just real thing.

Things are slowing down, though.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, things are slowing down.

We're going to, you know, not just...

Decorate.

We're going to decorate.

We need to do the wardrobes.

It's going to be great.

Oh my God.

We're going to organise the wardrobes.

Okay, so before we jump into this week's pod,

let's talk about our wine of the weeks.

Yeah.

Go on.

Right, so we went for a shopping trip, right?

And I thought it would be just me and you,

but you thought, you know what, Sophie is old enough now,

she can come with us.

I thought, well, a bit rogue, but we weren't with it anyway.

But then as we were driving about 15 minutes into the journey,

we just noticed the little dog was with us as well, right?

Another thing that I wasn't expecting.

And obviously I didn't want the dog in first place,

but now it's on a shopping trip with us.

So now we go into town and obviously there's lots of places

where you can't take dogs in, obviously.

Well, not really.

Because if you notice what I did on this trip,

I googled the places in Marlborough

where we could have breakfast with the dog,

and we took them into selfies.

This is my wine.

Okay.

I think you usually, with these wines, you're quiet

until the other person's finished their wine.

Okay, good.

And then you can have your say.

Go on then.

We went there and it was plenty of places

that Sophia and I wanted to go to together.

They went in and I'm now standing outside.

So this trip I had planned for her,

it's consisting of me standing with a dog

that I didn't want in the first place outside a shop

that I didn't want to go to in the first place.

Oh my God.

This has just led me onto my wine.

Is it funny how that happens?

No, so I'm sitting in there with our daughter

and Pete's got about 15 girls around him

trying to play with his puppy.

All right.

Turns out...

What about Rolfie?

It's not all bad.

Turns out a fucking puppy has a babe back there.

Just kept going out into the middle of the road in Marlborough.

All these hot...

Come here you cheeky little scum.

All these hot, rich chicks all over the place.

I was holding him like that.

Go Rolf.

Go.

Pete was like having a whale of a time,

like giggling to all these like young women,

like tickling his puppy.

Take with my puppies.

Take with my puppies.

Take with my puppies.

Take with my puppies.

Take with my puppies.

Take with my puppies.

Take, listen.

You threw me out on the road.

What am I going to do?

You put the skim section in self-adjusters.

What about it?

Second to none.

Better than hanging around with you.

You love shopping, don't you?

That's the fear she takes after you.

In all honesty, I had a lovely day

and I'm glad the dog was there.

You love shopping?

Can I just say,

I've got loads of weekly wines now

because the first...

This is supposed to be a day with my daughter.

It's not often that I get to spend time with Sophia

on her own and Sophia...

Why did I come along then?

Because you need to pay.

You need to pay for this.

I'm comfortable with you having that time.

That's fine.

But we need you there.

You need to hold the dog.

You need to hold the dog.

Don't say you didn't want.

You need to hold the dog

and hold your wallet open wide.

Put a knob.

Sophia loves skincare.

She loves shopping.

Christmas is coming up.

I'm doing the whole,

let's do a window shop.

Nowadays, all the kids,

they have everything.

I don't want to be buying things

a couple of months before Christmas.

Let's do a little window shop.

Let's do a nice breakfast without the kids

because when we've got the little ones with us,

we're always doing kid-friendly things.

The Jungle Café.

Is it Jungle Café?

The Rainforest.

The Rainforest Café

or more kiddie things.

Sophia wants to go to a lovely,

sophisticated brunch.

Yeah.

Classic girl.

Lovely shopping places.

Looking at all the nice things.

Spacing K is like a favourite thing.

Jo Malone.

Smelling all the candles.

That's what we wanted to do.

That's totally fine.

But maybe you should involve me in this.

The first two hours of us arriving and self-adjusting,

Pete decides to do a whole new wardrobe refresh.

Nice.

And just get himself clothes,

loads of shoes.

This doesn't just happen.

He's into the automobile collection now.

But me and Sophia were pissing ourselves laughing.

He was picking up these kind of,

I know last couple of episodes ago,

we were talking about the Italians in the Hogan train.

I guess we need to be lying for the Hogan display.

You know me?

Me say.

What are you laughing so much about?

This is what happens when I go shopping.

It's like I get ridiculed.

Not just one now.

It's another mini-me, isn't it?

You know last week when we were talking about Lorenzo

in the GLA, but the Hogan train are on.

And looking like so hot and gorgeous.

Pete makes a full B line for the Hogan train a section

to kind of fulfill that kind of...

You said you liked it.

Obviously, I'm only dressing for you.

I don't know, really.

So I thought, she likes that.

I'll give it to her.

In three colours.

I don't shop often.

So when I go, I go.

I don't miss a bout.

I'll have two of them, one of them, I'm in.

I'll go once a year, probably.

No, you don't.

That's true, babe.

Twice a year, maybe.

When you go to Tom Sweeney, you buy the whole shop.

No, that's what I'm saying.

I go to town.

If I'm in, I'm in.

Where I'm very rarely in.

What I'm saying is you all kind of pick the odd item.

And it's so cute because I'm going through all the clothes

and taking pictures of things.

And Pete's secretly taking pictures of them

as if Christmas ideas.

Which we do every year.

And then I'll get a fucking two metre charger.

I'm like, where's that Prada knit coward

that I don't picture at all?

No where to be seen.

Because when I'm taking pictures of it,

I don't look at the price until I get in there on my own.

And then I decide against them.

You know what?

The worst thing was,

I took a picture that I've got on the phone

of this suit that you liked.

And came home and it was in our house already.

So you saw me take a picture and I said,

I'll take that one for Christmas and you'd bought it yourself.

You know, I needed a Parisian chic look

for the hand-do that I'm going on.

OK.

All right.

Can I just tell you one little funny story?

Yeah.

It's just kind of popped into my head.

There's absolutely nothing to do with any of that.

Yeah.

But I was watching the football the other day.

And you know in the corner where they have the names?

It was M-U-N, you know, G-A-L.

Right.

So Man United versus Galatasaray.

But Ab said, who's playing?

And I went, who do you think?

And what I got was better than I even thought it would be.

Right.

So it's Man United versus Galatasaray.

M-U-N, G-A-L.

And it was, she said, Munich Galway.

Why are you saying that now?

Galway in the Champions League on a Tuesday night.

Galway girl.

It's a place.

I know.

Galway's an island.

I know.

Yeah.

I know.

But you might be in the Champions League.

You don't know that.

I do know that.

I know all the teams in Champions League.

And Galway, unfortunately, this year, didn't make it.

It's a little Galway girl.

That's good.

We've got our M-U-A in the building today.

Helen.

Yeah.

It's nice for you to have a lady in the group.

Do you know what, Helen?

It is nice to have a girl in the room,

because this is normally a sausage fest.

Yeah, yeah.

And I feel completely out of my depth.

No, it's nice.

It's nice.

So, like, I don't just get one disapproving look now.

I can't have the one over there.

Audience wines, OK?

OK, let's go in.

Hey, guys.

My weekly wine.

Wine and men shave beards at home

when there are barbers that provide the service.

And fed up of little man-beared hairs

all over my bathroom sinko off the shave.

Even if he cleans the hairs,

they still appear a few days after.

Goes to the barbers for fuck's sake.

Harsh.

I think that's harsh.

They do.

They don't go, though, do they?

No.

They do hang around for a while.

I don't understand.

That's actually another weekly wine.

Why do you shave your beard?

Beard in our downstairs toilet?

Because, you know, that's, like, a communal one.

So if we have a guest,

that's where they would go.

And you always choose a downstairs, no?

I just think it's bizarre.

My toilet bag is in my bag,

which I leave downstairs in the office.

So my razor is there.

Like, I use clippers.

I don't use, like, a wet shave.

I'll have, like, clippers.

Number two.

Number two in the bathroom.

What?

Say number two.

Say number two.

Like, number one, number two.

All right.

Four.

He's about number two's in bathrooms, obviously.

He's throwing me off.

You don't mean the razor?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, I do, yeah.

Why are we in the toilet, then?

No, that's because I'm shaving my pubes, then.

You can't say.

Why not?

I can't say that.

Harsh and Bexon say that.

Yeah, but they shave their pubes.

I can tell you that.

I'll share the show with them.

They probably go to the barbers to get that done.

What, Bex second crack?

No, listen, everyone.

I think, I think, I think...

Bex second crack.

Bex second crack.

Most people, most people man-scape or female-scape.

Surely.

Scott Bucks.

I mean, listen, listen, like, you know, you can't,

the point, people do it.

Don't beat around the bush.

Don't beat around the bush.

Save it off.

You know, why would you pay when it's really easy

just to shave it yourself?

You say, why would you pay, but you buy yourself

a new clipper every three weeks?

Yeah, because the ones that I actually like

aren't the most expensive and they're not the best quality,

but I do like it when it's fresh, fit your face.

So every now and then, like, I think it's every three weeks,

maybe I'll probably need to buy another one.

You know, because I'm so rugged and manly,

it just, it does, does get in there.

Hold on a minute.

I don't know if you can hear that on the,

but Helen, who's just been invited to the podcast.

Helen's my makeup artist.

Right, so Helen has just come up with an incredible hack.

Incredible hack.

Would you like to explain it?

Yeah, so instead of getting beard hairs

or whatever hairs all over your bathroom,

you can hook a plastic bag over your ears

and shave it into there.

Or you could, like, kind of put it over each leg.

Sit in it.

Can you imagine, seriously, if I had a,

if you walked in, okay, and you, and you, and I had,

you had, like, some M&S plastic bag.

I was double-bagged this way and that way,

like a fucking bag bikini.

If you walked in, you'd think I'd be having some

baggy lady, you'd not miss your bus.

I think you'd think, what on earth is he up to in there?

I would.

But I think fair play.

My bathrooms are macular.

Yeah, it would be, but I think you might divorce me.

No.

But for the double-bagging.

I can't give you the yuck.

It would give you the yuck.

If I was double-bagged, one on the chin,

round the bottom, like a nappy.

I love that.

I've been, like, A-star for initiative.

A-star for cleanliness.

All right, well, I'll give it a go tonight.

I'll let you know next week, guys.

Well, you could lock the door and then I'd never catch you.

If I locked the door, you'd be banging on it,

wondering what I was up to.

True, true.

We don't lock doors in our house, really, do we?

Only sometimes.

Until the only fucking lock in the whole house

has been unscrewed off our bedroom door.

Tell me through that.

You think that was me?

Well, it's quite convenient in our bedrooms.

The only one that doesn't lock.

But why?

But seriously, let's discuss this.

I don't know.

It's been unscrewed off the door.

Who did that?

No idea.

It's literally unscrewed off the door,

the only door in the whole house without a lock as our bedroom.

And it was neither of you two, did it?

No, on my life it wasn't me.

Well, that's a bit disconcerting, isn't it?

Someone's been in your house and unscrewed the lock

off your bedroom door.

When you put it like that.

Yeah.

Oh, well, let's move on.

A bit harsh, I think, but there's obviously a hack there from Helen.

There's a wine here, but I'm not sure if he's put it in the wine section,

but I'm not sure if it's an agony ab.

But I'll reach her anyway.

Hi, Pete and Abby.

I met a guy who's really nice.

He makes me laugh.

Tick.

He's caring.

Tick.

The only problem is he's shorter than me.

He's got a really small frame,

and now I feel like Godzilla coming out of the sea next to him.

So you're going to say really small freeness then?

Help.

Am I being shallow?

I know we are the same height lying down,

but I will never be able to go on a theme park ride together

due to height restrictions.

Why is it that small?

I know what she feels because I have it the other way.

Pete can't go on the nemesis.

It's too tall.

Honestly.

One of the, one of the, it was the one.

You get stuck on it.

No, it was, it was a, it was a bad moment for me

because everyone, I'm sitting on a ride.

I think it was at Chestington and I was in it really

uncomfortably and the girl said, sorry, sir.

You know, when you're all on the ride and people are queuing up

and they go, I think you're just too, too tall for this one.

So I had to unfold myself out.

Too tall to come.

In front of everyone and then obviously just stand at the side

and people saw me getting off.

And then you had to replace me, didn't you?

And then she got stuck.

You got stuck?

Yeah.

So I was supposed to be on the ride and then Ab laughed at me

uncontrollably because I was too tall for the ride

and then got stuck.

Hello.

Do you know, do you know what though?

Tall, being tall is such a gift, I think.

I think it's the best, one of the best things to have.

You know, you have to go one or two.

They're too small or too tall.

You're always going to say too tall, aren't you?

So yeah.

But you know what?

It's good and bad for everything.

But didn't you do Danny DeVito on your arm?

Exactly.

There's plenty of pocket rockets.

You know what?

I think it's all about your personality.

True.

Do you know what I mean?

It's...

Yeah.

Beauty's in the eye of the beer holder.

Beer holder.

What are you going to say?

Beer holder.

Hi, both.

At work, a 50-year-old man not taking orders from a third-year-old woman.

I'm his manager and he questions everything I say.

He thinks he's above me and that my knowledge is invalid about work and life in general.

I also don't want kids which he frequently says,

have kids, they're the best, they've changed your life for the better.

I'm sure they do.

But did you push £8 out of your bits?

Well, okay.

I think it's hard.

You know, when someone's kind of like 22 years your senior,

it's kind of like the respect is that they would know more than you.

But that's not the case, is it?

All the young ones know way more now.

Well, I just think, you know, it's certainly...

You know, she might be incredibly well-trained in that area and he might not be.

I felt like that today.

Going into capital, I was like,

do these children know how to work these computers?

Where's the adults?

Where's the adults?

Tell them how to put this on.

Well, that's when you realise that you're a little bit older.

Did you think that?

Well, they're all like kids, yeah.

I was thinking, fucking hell,

do they know how to work all this?

Who's going to tell them how to do it?

I genuinely, that crossed my mind and I know it crossed yours.

Well, yeah, it crossed my mind with these two,

and I'm TCR on the camera.

For God's sake.

But yeah, what I'm saying is that you do kind of like,

you've been taught to respect your elders and things like that,

but imagine if you're in a work environment

and you are above the person that you're a lot older than,

it's a strange balance.

It is a strange balance.

It's a balance that I think if you're a little bit older,

you find hard to take.

Yeah, but, you know, there's so many cultures where,

you know, they treat their elders as the wise ones,

and, you know, like the Native Americans,

they're like, you know, the older people are the most...

Older wise ones.

Old and wise, and they must be highly respected.

But I think that is a thing with our kind of culture

and our nowadays, like the young ones don't really have

that much respect for the older ones.

I would say that would you.

I would say so, yeah.

But it depends on...

My Italian mates, they really...

They have a completely different outlook to how we...

Like, they live with their grandparents and so they pass away

and stuff like that, like...

Yeah.

They don't look at me moving out and stuff,

but I think in the UK, maybe, it's a little bit different.

But also, it sounds like he's a bit of a knob.

That's my problem.

Like, because she even mentioned the word female as well,

like he's a man, I'm a female.

Is that the issue as well?

Is it a 52-year-old man taking orders from a 30-year-old woman?

Is he having a problem with that?

Yeah, but he obviously feels...

He might feel insecure about that role reversal, maybe.

Because naturally, you would think someone older than you

would be higher up in the chain.

Yeah.

Do you think?

Yeah, but like, you know, that might be hard for him to take,

but it's also...

It's a pain in the ass for her.

It's like, I'm your boss, you know, do what you're told.

Did you ever have managers younger than you in your career piece?

You were a bit like B1 or something.

No, but, you know, towards the end, it was like...

I remember I was playing with some lads who weren't born

when I first started playing.

That felt a bit weird.

Yeah.

But I have come across this scenario in, like, my line of work

where it's like, you know, I'm nearly 40,

and, you know, I was going to this job once,

and I was so hungry, I'd been in the car for two and a half hours,

left a half six, and I'm like, can we stop at Pret?

And the girl turned around, she was like 25,

so we're not stopping at Pret.

We're going straight there.

And I was a bit like, what?

Do you know who I am?

You know what it's like, wouldn't you?

I went, because I said, don't worry about it, babe.

We'll get there, whatever.

And then she goes, which is a great shout-out to you there.

She's like, a 40-year-old woman.

You know, I can stop at Pret for all of it.

Yeah, I didn't want to be told that I wasn't allowed to eat

by a 20-year-old.

Yeah, which is totally right.

I'm allowed to stop at it and get something to eat.

You don't actually have to abide by that rule.

I don't have to obey any rules.

I don't play by the rules.

I don't play by the rules.

I make my own rules.

All right, last one here, right?

Hi, Bo.

I listen to your podcast every week and Love the Part,

where you mentioned stopping hiccups by saying,

I'm not a fish.

I just did that today.

Did you really?

I did it, it works.

That's work.

I was telling my daughter about this as she gets them constantly.

She obviously didn't believe me until her dad had them,

along with an exaggerated burp thrown in for good pleasure.

I told her to say, I am not a fish to see what happened.

I have to look at me like I was simple.

He said the words, and bingo, they disappeared.

It really did.

Any suggestions for making him disappear?

She didn't say that.

I swear.

Look, we'll be greatly disappointed.

Abra, could Abra.

Thanks in advance.

I'm on.

Oh, that's funny.

You know that I'm a fish thing?

It does work.

It does work.

I think you know what?

It worked for me.

It worked for me.

I'm still mind blown by it.

Because when we had our lunch today, as I was going to the loo,

I had the hiccups, and I said, I was walking down the stairs,

this woman was crossing me on the stairs.

I said to myself, I am not a fish.

And he just went.

You said it out loud when someone was around.

You have to say it out loud.

It doesn't work if you say it in your mind.

You have to say it.

I think it's something about.

But can you imagine that when that woman's walking past,

she goes, there's Abbie Clancy there.

And you walk past and go, I'm not a fish.

It's yourself.

I'm not a fish.

I am Abbie Clancy.

She would have gone home.

She would have gone home.

Oh, my God.

When you said that I'm not a fish, you say you have to say it out loud.

Yeah.

We had a conversation there when we had a minor break.

Minor break?

Off air.

Off air.

I didn't want to say off air.

We did it for on air.

You're on air in three, two, one.

What I'm saying is, when you have a thought in your head,

do you say it in your own voice or do you just know it?

I talk to myself in my own brain.

Really?

So if I'm like that, I need to go to the shop.

My brain in my own head will say to me in my own voice,

I need to go to the shop.

No.

No, I'd be like, God.

So do you just think things?

No, I do.

I don't know, really.

You don't fucking think we'll stop that.

Just think quickly.

No, it just happened.

No, it doesn't.

It just happened.

You can't do something without thinking.

I'm with Abby on this, I'm going to say.

Is it just, if you go, I'm going to look at the door.

Do you just go think I'm going to look at the door?

Or is your mind inside going, I'm going to look at the door?

No, but sometimes it's like an instant reaction.

You have to door slam.

I would just go like that.

Do you know what I mean?

I wouldn't go, if the door slammed, would you go, what the fuck's that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I wouldn't think about it.

No, that's not the same thing.

It is.

Because you're thinking about what's happened.

No, it's not.

So you wouldn't think, and that's not right.

If the door slammed, you'd just go.

Okay, so if you're walking down the road and you see a man in a leopard print hat,

would you go, he's got a leopard print hat on to yourself in your own brain?

No, I'd literally go, what the fuck is he wearing?

I didn't realise I was drumming.

No, I think I'd think things in my head.

Would you go, oh, that's a nice dress.

Yeah.

Would your mind say it in your voice to you?

I think there's certain times where my voice would say it, and there's certain times where

you just think it.

No, I just think I'd say it.

I change the subject.

I change the subject, God's sake.

That dream you're having?

No.

You know, our John was in bed with his girlfriend once, and she woke up hysterically crying,

going, I've just had the most terrible dream.

I had this nightmare.

I had this nightmare.

Anyway, it wasn't a dream.

Oh my God, that's terrible.

That's sick in the end.

Listen, we were talking about reconnecting, okay?

And I've got a few trips planned for you and things like that, where we can be on our

own away from the kids, managed to get baby seats, all that.

I want to, but I don't.

You found out where we're going, right?

No, can I just say, can I just, can I just rewind?

So, Pete has taken me on a secret trip, and to be fair to me, I love him so much, but

he does get everything wrong.

Listen, what I'm saying is I'm so confident that you're going to enjoy this trip.

There's so many places on earth that you can go to that he knows about, that I've told

him, but he wouldn't dream of picking one of these places that I've mentioned over the

last 20 years of being together.

He'll take me somewhere completely obscure.

So he's told me it's, you know, it's a bit different.

It's off the wall.

And I said, as long as it's not X, Y, and Z, named three countries that I desperately

don't want to go to, and I've stated my reasons, and I was going on and on and on about it.

One night, and Sophia said to me, Mom, you need to stop with this because one of the places

you're moaning about is the place you're going to.

What's great is that she said that after I've booked it, right?

And I've booked X via Z.

What do you mean you've booked X via Z?

Well, you said X, Y, and Z, right?

And I've booked X via Z.

So we're going to two of the places that you've mentioned out of the three in the entire globe.

It's not ideal, but I-

Is that a joke?

No, genuinely.

What you need to do is relax.

Open your mind.

Relax.

I want to survive.

Do you trust me?

You mind?

Open your mind.

Like Jack from Titanic.

Do you trust me?

No, I don't want to die.

No.

I don't want to die in like five days.

I'll promise you that.

I'm going to take you to a really nice place that you're going to have a lovely time.

I don't like being away from home, number one.

I don't like being away from-

I don't like being away from my kids, number one.

Even though we want like a little break together and to reconnect or whatever.

I don't like being away from home.

I don't like being in scary places.

No, I'm leading you on a merry dance like-

What's that mean?

You've never heard that one.

What a merry way.

Like I'm trying to like make it difficult for you to guess where we're going.

Sophie has told me, hon.

Yeah, but she doesn't know.

So does Elle's tell me that?

Elle's told me that.

As if I'd tell her.

I haven't told anyone.

Pete's been throwing red herrings around.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Do I think that you don't ask all those people that you've mentioned where we're going to go

and I've told them a different place.

But they've all told me the same place.

Yeah, I've all told them the same place though.

I'm taking you-

But I don't want to be on great football.

Summer off.

I'd like to go to Switzerland.

I want to go to Switzerland and get like scans.

Scans?

That's what I want to do for our like trip away.

Like the whole health-

Feed your health anxiety.

Oh.

The whole health thing.

We did a whole podcast.

What was it?

Scans and cocktails.

Isn't it?

It's not fun, babe.

No, you've got to just trust me.

I'm being serious now.

You need to just trust me and go with the flow.

And I won't do you wrong.

And if I do do you wrong, you can talk about it.

We're cooking all over.

It's spitting lyrics.

Dig a hole.

Get up and stand up for myself.

Do you know, keep-

Oh.

Piss off then I'll go on my own.

Take Helen.

You fancy it, hell.

She'll be she's after it.

Do you think we'll have a good time?

I think we'll have a lovely time.

And like you don't need-

genuinely don't have to go.

Don't want to.

Yeah, but we do need to go because you're having dreams.

I'm leaving you for, you know, a quiffed head.

Youngster.

Youngster.

It's up to you.

I love having those like trips away on our own.

Like when we went to New York and we were-

All of those places when you allowed me to pick them.

You hadn't been to any of those places.

You hadn't, babe.

He's rescued me from the hellhole of Liverpool.

Didn't say that.

From the slums.

I didn't say that.

I know you.

I didn't say that.

I picked what?

Christopher Columbus.

Take me, Abby.

I had so many good holidays for you in my life.

What I'm saying is that I picked those places on my own.

You didn't get involved.

You left me to it.

And now it's for some reason it's like changed to like you vetting where I take you now.

When you've got to just trust me.

No, I think it's because when you don't have kids and you're younger and you're a bit more carefree.

Now I'm like, oh, where's New Year's Hospital?

How far are we from home?

How many flights a day are there?

I know it's pathetic, but you know.

She's asking me like instead of, you know, what are the beaches like?

What are the restaurants like?

What are the hospitals like?

Is there, you know, can you get out of there quick if there's a tsunami?

These are the questions that I'm getting.

You know, what's the COVID rate there?

You're at some great times.

I remember like New York was great where it pissed down constantly.

I couldn't allow for the weather.

It was still a good place.

And we sat there and went through the food of music, A to Z.

We got there in New York.

I'd packed like denim harpoons and vests.

It was torrential rain.

We went out.

We went to shopping to buy Wellies and a Broly and a Cagool.

That's the right.

That's that type of.

Yeah.

And then we drank loads of atomic firebombs in Trump Tower.

This is before Trump was weird.

This is when Trump was Trump or president.

Yeah.

This is before Trump was president and everything else.

And then we went back to the hotel and we couldn't even go out because it was

literally buckets and buckets of water.

Wasn't it?

Yeah.

So we went through the, drank the whole mini bar, went through our iPod at the time.

Oh my God.

That's so funny.

I just said all that and do this one.

What would Pete take on a desert island?

And I said me a bottle of water and an iPod.

A bottle of water?

iPod?

That was the one that got me.

Oh no.

I don't know.

Just threw me.

Well, we went from A to Z and she had to pick a tune A.

I had to do B, C.

So I went all the way through to Z.

It was a good game.

And we had a great time.

But we got absolutely hammered.

Start a prank call on people.

Oh, that's so good.

In different accents.

Different accents because of the time difference.

Yeah.

So we liked phone and people in the middle of the night in the UK and go, hey, hey there.

Oh, well, we just found it so funny.

And it was, you know, we flew all that way and sat in a hotel room.

But it was a lot of fun, wasn't it?

It was a lot of fun.

You know, it was good.

We did wigs in Barcelona.

We've done things that have been funny.

Sorry.

It's about the people you were.

We like a prank.

I think you kind of play up to the kind of role of it all.

You know, Barcelona, when we, you know,

you were getting recognized so much that we went to the,

to that wig shop and bought wigs.

And we just, you know, roam around Barcelona carefree.

And when people were talking to us,

like talking in different accents or completely different languages,

just making up our own languages.

And people were like, it's not funnier, is there?

Well, I just like being away and being kind of different people.

Like, it's just, you can do what you want, kind of.

Great.

A bit of role play.

A little bit, yeah.

Not in that kind, anyway.

I think the accent one's great.

Yeah, but look, it's like you chatting up the waitress before.

I wasn't chatting up the waitress.

He was, wasn't he?

He was chatting up like a rash.

He said, did someone say souffle?

Faramushkel le le le me la gandagareto.

Marebushet tarifto.

Tarifto?

Whatever, whatever you do.

Whatever you do, and for an accent,

you always say shalabushka.

Whether it's French, Spanish.

Faramushka.

It's that, always.

Shalabushka.

Why are you always like...

I don't know.

It's like...

Faramushka.

But I actually can speak French,

but I'm not going to do it now because you're going to humiliate me.

Go on.

Go on.

No.

No.

German's good.

Yeah, German's good.

Yeah, German's good,

but I just haven't got the confidence,

but that is on my list

for this year to do the language.

Or your favorite binge-worthy show.

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And therapy helps you write it.

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Should we get into the acne apps?

Yeah.

All right, then.

Hi, both.

I've started playing for a ladies' football team.

Never before, but fell in love with it.

Find it great for my mental health.

I have two kids,

and my hobbyist said he wants me to stop playing every weekend

and miss some games.

I'm torn.

I get his point,

but it's only four hours out every Sunday.

Four hours?

Thought it was 90 minutes.

Please help.

Good point, Sam.

To be honest,

I think...

you shouldn't stop someone you love doing something they love

or a newfound passion.

I agree.

That makes them happy or something,

which kind of supports their mental health.

I am not one for doing my own thing other than my horse riding,

but I would do that kind of when you're not around.

I think it's good to do.

I think everyone should have their own thing.

I have my thing.

I like doing my house.

I like going horse riding, playing golf.

Four hours on a weekend, not much.

Think about how many men are at football on a weekend every week.

You included some.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

I think...

I don't know.

She really, really enjoys it.

I don't think she should be punished for that.

Can we try and work around it?

The thing is, if you're in a team,

you can't pick and choose when you're going to play, can you?

You can't let the other ladies down, can you?

No.

It's like my mum's playing netball.

She's like 62,

and she's in a netball team,

and she loves it.

It's like a little thing that she does,

and she's meeting new people, having a great time.

My mum was an incredible netball player when she was younger,

and I think it's good to have your own thing.

It is harder on the weekend when, as you say,

your families are often...

That could be if you've got a Monday to Friday,

nine to five job weekends.

Weekends are horrible for us, aren't they, really?

Stuck around with the kids.

That's why I get off to the football game.

Weekends, for me,

normally consists of me on my own with all the kids,

physically trying to be in three places at once.

Sophia's match, Liberty's match, and the boys' football.

Pete always works on the weekend on Saturday,

so it's quite hard.

Weekends, for me, I just rule out as any me-time.

Have the boys at Casino Royale? Have they joined Casino Royale's?

The boys are at Casino Royale's.

How are they getting on?

Awful. Awful.

Take after the dirt.

Yeah, take after the dirt.

They're enjoying it.

They're enjoying it, but, you know,

I think I'm going to take the name Crouch off the back of the kit

because they're not up to the standard yet,

and everyone's like...

Just for a little bit.

Everyone's like, oh, are they Peter Crouch's sons?

They're playing...

They're only babies.

They're playing tick on the football, bitch.

They're only babies.

They'll get that.

Kicking up the ball and, like, running off the pitch with it.

Everyone's, like, shaking their heads,

and I don't know the lingo, so I'm like,

kick, run, pass.

They need some fine-tuning, that's all.

But we'll get into that soon.

Do you want to make this one?

Okay.

Hi, Pete and Abby.

This one is a bit different from your usual ones.

I'm a teacher and my Year 11 boys are obsessed with football.

Their GCSEs are really only a few weeks away,

but all they can talk about is their top four.

The other week, I really thought I was getting through to a boy

when I saw him busily writing two pages of work.

It was only when I read it at the end of the lesson

I realized it was actually a two-page match report

for a fictional game that had gone on during his head in the lesson.

It's a nice advice for these football-mad boys.

Oh, I loved that.

It's not what they should be doing, really.

But did you do that?

Well, you didn't do much in school.

You did travel and tourism, didn't you?

I got a GME Q in Liger and Tourism,

and that was much later down the line, you know?

Is that why you know all the places to take up GME Q?

Tourism.

That's what I'm saying.

I've got a past with distinction.

Distinction?

Yeah, distinction.

I didn't do a lot of coursework because I found out

that I was going to be playing football full-time

before my GCSE, really.

And I was like, kind of...

My school kind fell away towards the end

because I knew I was going to be full-time, 16 to 18.

But how would you feel if our kids did that?

You know, as a parent, I would encourage them

to obviously try as hard as they can in school

because, you know, there's freaking 1% of kids

that want to be footballers are footballers.

You know, I was one of the lucky ones

and I think you might not be that lucky

but probably a huge chance that you won't be.

So falling back on...

That's positive.

Well, it's not.

I mean, you've got to be realistic.

It's tough to make it.

And there's so many, like, great footballers

that I've seen not, you know, have bad luck,

have an injury or, you know, not be...

You know, not have that break.

And so I'd say they're 100%

make sure you get your qualifications

because it's important.

Yeah.

I'm obviously with the teacher on this one.

You can love football as much as the next person,

but staying school kids is important.

Yeah.

Are you only saying that because you have

school fee bills coming out your ears?

No, I'm saying that because it is important.

And I think sometimes we have to be responsible on this

as a footballing icon like myself.

What a twat.

We have responsibilities.

All right, shall we move on?

Would you like to...

You read it?

Yeah.

Hi, guys. I need help.

I really fancy this guy at the gym.

Every time I'm there, he's there, too.

We both notice each other, but immediately look away.

We're both too shy to speak to each other.

Today, we've finally smiled at each other,

but still not spoken a word.

I've decided I'll speak to him first

because he might be scared of coming across like a gym creep.

But what can I say that will be interesting enough

for him to take his airport out?

And how can I be tactful in case he has a girlfriend,

boyfriend, thanks and on?

Well, hopefully he hasn't got a boyfriend

if he's smiling and looking at another girl in the gym.

If he's not, really, is he?

He's trying not to, but maybe the magnetism's too much for him.

Can you remember that with me?

Before we spoke, did you look at me?

Well, I didn't really see you until you kind of, like, walked near me.

And then I remember looking at you and thinking, like...

Tell everyone what you thought.

No, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

Like, genuinely.

Your eyes, I genuinely hadn't seen eyes like it in my entire life.

But they're not like that anymore?

No, they're a bit jeery now.

They've lost their sparkle.

Your eyes are incredible.

I think that's a sparkle.

Everything about that happened.

They haven't lost their sparkle until they're sparkly as ever.

But no, you are genuinely absolutely stunning.

That day, I was like, wow.

Like, insane.

And yeah, I did have that thing where you think for the first time,

you're like, wow.

Did you think that on our first date as well?

Yeah, even more so.

So, back to the question.

Sorry.

How great am I? How beautiful am I?

I noticed you didn't say fucking much about me there.

No, I'm just saying it like...

It's like he twat.

Nixie's got a chance.

It's like he's got the strangled furthest...

Fucking take a mile.

Dead eyes like a fish.

I can't believe that's what you took from that conversation.

I was talking...

From that conversation, I was talking about, like...

Have I lost any of my sparkle, darling?

No, it's like...

The sparkle that you didn't mention?

No, it's like the...

You know what I mean?

It's like that nice thing where you first meet and you're like...

Even though that was going the sparkle in her eyes,

you know, the hearts giving a mean,

she went, anyway, back to the gym.

OK.

Back to the gym.

All right, back to the gym then.

What we're saying is she's going to approach it.

She thinks there's chemistry.

I don't want to...

I don't want to put her off, but he might think,

why is this girl looking at me?

I think it was simple and say,

can you help me with my form on, like, squat?

Or can you spot me?

Spot me.

Then you get to that organically.

Spot me.

Bang.

Yeah, like, just make it about the gym.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Say, hi, could you pass me those 22Ks?

Oh, you're a big boy.

No, I think that was the worst thing ever.

How would you...

If I was curling, like, 100kg, right,

and then you wanted to kind of broach it,

what would you say to me?

I'd just walk over and go,

hey, what's your name, what's your sign?

I think as a lady, you can overthink it.

I'd just be like, so lay.

I think you can overthink it.

Like, as a man, if a girl that you like comes up to you,

she could literally say...

You've got to crumble.

I mean, like, this best thing ever.

I think she could say anything.

I think she could say.

Firmushia?

Do you need to find that girl?

No, I reckon she could probably say anything.

I'd say.

I think it's just about the ice being broken.

God, I don't know how I'd broach that.

I don't know if I couldn't dream of going up to a point...

What about if I went over to you in the gym,

but you had, you know,

there was, like, a bit of chemistry,

and I went over to you and said, I don't know,

do you come here often?

What would you say to that?

I'd be like, you fucking dude.

Oh, what a lad.

Oh, my God.

You walked into that one.

Absolutely incredible.

You walked into the...

Yeah, I did. I deserved it.

I'd be made up if you come and spoke to me.

What would you say?

I don't even want to think about that,

especially after both of our dreams.

You know what I mean?

Like, teaching each other how to chat.

Well, I know that I wouldn't say,

do you come here often?

I know that.

I've got the potential to get shot down.

I know what you'd say.

You all right, darling?

You all right, darling?

How are you doing?

I can see you coming here a lot.

Talis.

Vile.

Absolutely vile.

I think don't overthink it.

I would like to think, you know,

let's just not play games.

If you like someone, you like them.

Tell them how you feel.

Go there.

Be you.

Put your cards on the table.

Yeah?

Don't you think?

Agreed.

Next one, right?

Hey, guys.

Don't have to worry about being anonymous

as my fiance doesn't listen to the pod

or any pod, in fact,

because she's too cool for that.

Anyway, my wine is, I think,

it's relatable to a lot of men,

and it's that wide of women.

I think it's only a woman thing.

Feel the need to talk about anything and everything

around 10, 30, 11 p.m.

I'm a carpenter.

Why women?

It was a bit of a stranger with that,

but why do women do that?

Why do they talk at 10, 30, 11 o'clock at night

about everything?

To who?

On the phone, I imagine, like you.

I'm a carpenter, and I graft all day long.

We talk a lot over dinner,

and for most of the evening,

but she has a burst of speech diarrhea

around 15 minutes before we go to bed.

All right, okay, yeah.

She often gets angry as I'm completely chilled,

half asleep, and very unresponsive.

This then leads to her getting in a mood

with the old, you never want to talk to me,

et cetera.

We've been together since school, 13 years,

and two kids, I find it baffling

that she hasn't got the hint yet,

that I just don't care at that time of night.

Anyway, apart from that, she's perfect,

and I love her dearly.

All the best, Jack.

P.S., I'm bringing her to Crouchfest this year,

so hopefully the pod mentality will change.

Crouchfest.

Sold out.

Kids.

Love it, Jack.

He sounds like a right geezer.

I love him already.

I like Jack because he said he loves her.

He loves her,

but she's got verbal diarrhea

around half 10, 11 o'clock at night

when he's knackered.

But I do that to you.

I think there's something,

you know, they've got two kids.

They both work.

There's something about having,

like, because even when you're having your dinner,

you're still kind of,

you know,

like,

like,

like,

like,

when you're having your dinner,

you're still kind of thinking about

what the kids do

and you think,

oh, I've got to clean up.

And then when you get into bed,

you just think,

oh,

now I can get it off my chest.

I do that to you,

don't I?

Talk.

Yeah,

you do it a bit, yeah.

Yeah,

but you've sort of taken to,

not talking to me now,

you've sort of taken to,

like, talking to your friends and stuff,

go on your phone.

Well, she's a double-edged sword, really,

because

I don't want loads of chat,

but I also don't want to get ignored.

Yeah, but if you're watching,

if you're watching, like,

golf or something on the,

on the telly,

I'll just go and call my friends.

Yeah, that's fine,

or, like,

football or whatever on the telly,

like,

I agree with that.

But then,

it's like when we come together,

you'll say,

I'll turn this off now

and I will turn it off

and I'll put something on

that we can watch together

and then you've still got your phone.

But I have stuff to do.

You always say that.

I have to do food shop,

emails.

Food shop and emails,

so I'm real.

What?

That's true, though.

It's true.

But you don't have to do it that time.

What's that, groups?

It's the only time I can sit

in peace and concentrate,

putting all the school parties

in the diary,

all of that stuff.

What about when the kids are at school?

When I'm at work.

I mean,

I can't do it then.

Well, that was a great pod.

Yeah, it was, yeah.

I enjoyed it.

It was a lot of laughs in that.

I really enjoyed it.

There was a lot of laughs.

Different surroundings.

We're in these different surroundings

because we're promoting our book

and we are proud of our book.

I'm proud of it.

It's an extension of the podcast.

If you like the podcast,

get involved.

Hey, Prime members.

You can listen to this show,

Add Free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.