ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Little Bitta Pod - 31st August 2023

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Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

And today, in a rare move.

Yeah.

In a rare move, the A Little Bit of Pod won't work without The Big Bit of Pod.

Oh yes, you've got to.

Really?

Yeah, you've got to listen to The Big Bit of Pod for the 31st of August.

There's touristy.

Touristy, so we'll see you later.

You go listen to that, and then you'll come back here, and then it'll all make sense.

Yeah, because it'll pick up where you stop listening.

Bye.

We had a lot of messages for what you've accidentally licked.

And some of them were a bit manky.

You licked a cable, as people have just heard on The Big Bit of Pod.

You licked an exercise machine's cable.

You manky.

You manky bitch.

Here's some.

I'll say it.

I'm just going to scroll through lots of messages.

Okay.

A few people looking jelly meat and stuff off a fork, just kind of like,

I can lick this because it's a fork.

Autopilot?

Yeah, autopilot.

Lick the fork.

I hate jelly meats so much.

I know.

Do you feed your cat jelly meat?

Never in a thousand years I've got too much respect for him.

Yeah.

My dog, can I submit on behalf of my dog, because it got into a room when I was making love,

and licked my partner's bumhole.

Bumhole.

Well, it makes a dog want it.

Okay, yeah, right.

Cool.

I love that.

That also wasn't an accident.

Dogs don't lick things by accident.

No.

I accidentally licked dish soap.

It was a blob of soap on the top, and my brain, again, autopilot, was like, this is what I

do if it was a sauce bottle, and licked it.

They lick off the top of the sauce bottle.

It was a detergent.

It was a detergent.

So it wasn't a glob on the bench.

It was actually on top of the bottle.

You just had a little dribble.

It was dribble.

I got so disgusted.

I was like, oh.

I had a little dribble before.

What were we talking about?

And I went, pfft, and my whole computer screen is now filthy with spit.

We're wet in here.

It's weird when you go to what, clean your computer screen, and you're like, look at it.

Oh, yeah.

It's feral.

It's feral.

It's man-key.

It's so gross.

My stepdad was eating Chinese food in bed.

I'm sorry.

That is all new low.

Yeah.

If you're eating takeouts in bed.

How good is Chinese food, though?

He was in the pits of depression, and he was eating Chinese food in bed, and the dog came

into visit, and he thought he'd dropped some Chinese food on his arm, so he licked it off,

but it turned out it was the gubbas out of the dog's eye.

It would look like a sweet and sour sauce.

It would, you'd be like, oh, a little crumb.

Yum.

Oh, with my butter, and I was still quite, like, fresh.

Like, we'd only just got together.

He didn't know what bobby pins were.

OK.

No, those hair pins.

Yes.

They were everywhere.

You find them everywhere.

I explained and told them that my dad actually uses them to clean his ears, because he can

get in and drag the wax out.

A couple of weeks later, I was sitting in traffic and fixing my hair, and I put my bobby pin

in my mouth, and I realized that he had taken up that habit, and started sticking them in

his ears, because I could taste wax.

Sucking your partner's ear wax has got to be up there with the words.

Yeah, that's pretty gross, so that's pretty yuck.

Another one I know we mentioned in the big pod, but somebody licked chocolate off their

hand, and it was the dog poo, or some sort of poo.

A stranger accidentally spat food on me while I was talking.

I thought it was my food that I accidentally spat, so I reached down, picked it up, and

ate it.

And my friend, who both saw the strangers spit the food on me, and also me eat the food,

laughed so hard, and has never let me live it down.

That's upsetting.

Can't name a time or anything.

Can't name a certain time or anything, as I'm a dairy farmer, but the amount of times I've

itched my nose, I've gone to put something on my mouth, because I needed my hands, and

the object or hand had been covered in cow shit.

Absolutely shit.

You would have done that working on the cow shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or you just turn around and you're talking, and you're like, ah, ah, ah, ah, and then

a cow poo's, and it splats up, and you get a little bit in your mouth.

I really know thanks to that job.

It's so hard.

It's so hard.

My idiot partner said our toilet was so clean due to a new cleaner at our trade office that

he could lick it, and then he did.

Yuck.

That's not accidental.

He just straight up licked the toilet.

Straight up licking.

Yeah, that's really gross.

Would you do that if you just cleaned it?

No, because I don't want to like bleach, and pine, and cleaning stuff either.

For $1,000?

Yeah.

Okay.

I thought I was going to have to end up going to like a million, but no, a thousand.

You're a founder, yeah.

Let's go.

She's still going to Reno.

She needs all the money she can.

Yeah, 1,000's fine.

1,000's fine, I'll do it.

500 even.

Decepting sheep's lungs in high school, and the guy in our group was dangling a piece in

front of his mouth with his tongue out, going, ah, I'm going to eat it, so my friend whacked

his head.

Yes.

And it went into his mouth.

Did you hear producer Jared's just out of the room at the moment?

He was saying in science, the science teacher put a tube onto the lungs, and was inflating

them to show how lungs work.

And then he got lung juice.

When it was full, accidentally inhaled, and got lung juice in their mouth.

Disgusting.

I bet lung juice is so gross.

I reckon it's like bitter and creamy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

When my brother was young, we were wrestling, and after, I saw a delicious hubba-bubba Coke

flavor chewing gum on the ground.

I picked it up, and I almost got it in my mouth when I realized it wasn't.

My brother had sharded while we were wrestling, and it was a nug.

A nug.

That's not true.

That's not true.

No, that's not true.

That's not true.

That coke collared hubba-bubba.

That's not true.

Because you chew into it.

No.

Nug.

As my work, we used to have an employee who regularly left the toilet bowl covered in

shit.

And it's one of the early birds that needed a wee before I went into my class.

So I invariably got the mess, and had to clean it up.

One day, when admirably cleaning the mess, who would have flipped up into my mouth?

I hate when you're brushing the toilet.

Oh my God.

And you're flexing.

I always try to keep my mouth out of my mouth.

My mouth out of line of sight of the brush.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's no good.

That's actually how I got Giardia.

Was that?

Was that how?

Yeah, I think that's how.

I thought it was how.

Oh Jesus.

I was cleaning the bathroom for our flat inspection.

I was mopping the floor, and there was a ball of hair stuck to the mop.

So I picked it up, and I was trying to flick it off the mop, and when I flicked it, it

reversed and went into my mouth.

Why are we reading these?

I think I've reached right a little bit for these.

I feel like I'm out.

I'm tapping out as well.

I think we're done.

I think we're done.

Thank you for those messages.

Yeah, thank you, but no thank you.

No more.

I see you.

A friend of mine licked off her hand what she thought was avocado that she just put on

toast.

It was baby's poos.

Green.

It's baby.

I might have had a greeny brown to it.

Don't eat with your mouth.

Don't talk with your mouth full, please.

Well, why?

As if this podcast isn't gross enough.

Go for it.

Just go.

Accidentally licked the hair straightener when it was on, and sizzled their tongue.

That's dumb.

Why are you licking your hair straightener?

I don't know.

This is how she does her hair.

She does her hair.

She's like.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's see that there because Haley and I have a lunch date.

Yeah, we do.

We do.

You're not coming.

You're eating damn porridge.

Yep.

Sad life.

Are you being healthy or something?

What's happening?

No, no.

Don't be healthy.

Honestly, the most boring life.

Because you're starting a gym challenge today.

Is that why?

No.

It's tomorrow.

I thought it was today.

What are you doing?

The steps challenge.

Yeah, 300,000 steps.

As quick as you can.

This is insane.

You don't want 25 potatoes in a day.

That's why you should come on a hike at the weekend if it's fine.

What's father's day?

Saturday.

My weekend spoken for, I'm going to see my father on Saturday.

So on Sunday, I can revel in the fact that I am to a father.

No, you're lying.

Me and Ford having lunch on Sunday.

That's not happening, by the way.

I'm bailing on that last minute.

Don't tell Haley.

I've made a booking for you and your wife and your kids.

It's a father's day and they just.

That's why the kids are coming.

Well, your wife has already said yes.

I'll see you at the pub on Sunday.

All right, I'll see you then.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.