ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - Girl Math!

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We're going to talk about girl mats. Girl mats is when a woman justifies

a number of something by going, yeah, but if you look at it this way,

I do this expensive clothing, cost per wear. So I could buy a $20 top

for now and never wear it again. That's $20 per wear, right?

I could buy a $500 dress and I always say, I'll always say, I'll absolutely smash that.

I'll absolutely, see that dress at Moochie, that's $400, but I'll absolutely smash it.

The cost per wear will probably be about $0.30 in a couple of years,

because I'm going to wear it every couple of days. That's that easy, so I could justify paying.

But a lot of people, I do that for a dollar. Everything's got to effectively be a dollar a day

in my head. That's how. Like not for example.

But your jeans, we get way more for jeans than a dollar a day. Thank you, I do.

You do. I've got this pair of jeans for $80 and I've worn them for $5,000.

So the girlies at the social media desk and the producer's booth,

Karween and Shanonette Pajamas, have been talking about girl math.

Because Shannon, Karween's been growing out her hair.

Yeah, and I've done some girl math for her. So it's been a year since she got her hair done

and she's been dabbling with the idea of getting it redone.

And I said, okay, so we've had about 400 days, let's say, since she got it done.

I reckon if she gets a good stylist, which she will, another 400 on top of that.

We're looking at 800 days of hair. Then...

Well, now you can count the days that have...

Already been. No, that's already been.

That's already been.

In girl world.

Oh, sorry, sorry. This is girl math.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Yeah, so we've got 800 days of use here.

Yup.

If we're looking at $400 for a balayajan highlight, so it's just kind of what Karween's

looking at, we're looking at $400. 50 cents a day to look good, feel good,

but your best self, it's no brainer, girl maths problem self.

Yeah, this is like us when we go to that place that every dish is $8.

That's more of a less free.

And we say to ourselves, it's basically free.

Because the maths in our head are like $8.

Because by the time you score an $8 dish between, like, we always go with eight people.

So that's a dollar a dish, that's madness.

Basically free.

But then you end up buying a thousand dishes, of course.

And we're all world shipping at $100 and you're like, where's my free meal gone?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do, but I definitely do girl maths.

It makes sense.

It's kind of like the afterpay of your brain.

Yeah.

Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, panel, panel, ladies, ladies.

Read this message.

Girl maths exclamation mark, help exclamation mark.

I just bought the Deadly Pony's Mr. Moulton tote.

Oh la la.

Help me justify it.

Hashtag girl maths.

How much?

That's $1,000.

That's $1,000 a bag.

Okay, wow.

For a what?

For a what?

Listen, Deadly Pony's is a very high quality.

Here's the maths.

I'll do this for you.

I have a Deadly Pony's handbag.

A molten clutch.

Is this what I'm gurgling?

Moulton tote, molten tote.

My handbag, what I've had for five years.

So now you're at $200 a year.

You're less than $1 a day.

Mine wasn't $1,000, so I'm even smaller than that.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's a tote.

How many ways can you use a tote?

That's what I was just going to say.

This supermarket.

Nappy bag, supermarket.

So you're actually getting four bags a day.

Festival bag, going away bag.

Plain airplane bag.

So you divide it by four.

That's a good one.

Four bags in one.

Yeah, so you divide by four.

So if we're looking at it.

It's $250 per bag.

Per bag.

You've got four designer bags there.

If you're using that every day for a year,

you're literally being paid to use this bag.

It's basically free.

You're being paid to get two.

It's basically free.

How did you get two?

From a $1,000 bag, it's basically free.

Well, because you're getting four bags, so $250 per bag,

then you use it every day for a year.

You're sub-100 then.

So you're getting paid $100 to use this bag.

They replied, oh, shit, yeah, queens.

I love you.

I knew it would get real.

I think this could be a regular segment.

Girlmans, where people want us to justify their purses.

Help me, I just bought a $500 dress.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's an occasion dress they bought specifically

for a wedding.

We can break that down for you.

Why do I think that would be too hard?

Nope.

No, no, no, because all the free drinks you get

by looking so good in your occasion dress.

That's right, man.

That's right.

You're deducting.

Deduct, deduct, deduct.

Can I just say?

Girlmans is wild.

This is insane.

Yeah.

I cannot believe this chick got a free deadly ponies bag.

So good.

She's an ambassador.

It's unreal.

She's a deadly ponies ambassador.

This is insane.

How lucky is she?

She could basically do hashtag gifted.

Even though she spent $1,000.

Girlmans is back tomorrow

because we've got two more girlmans problems.

OK, right.

Play.

We've gone rogue with something that happened yesterday.

We did a bit of girl math.

Now, Karwen wants to get her here done

and Shannon was like,

Shannon girl mathed her and worked out

how basically she's getting it free.

And then the three of us were like,

yes, we do this all the time.

And then we girl math someone's handbag

and now she's getting paid by deadly ponies.

Don't ask us how it works.

Like, and I just, it's amazing to watch, isn't it, Vaughan?

Yeah.

Girl maths.

It's mind-blowing.

Well, I'm so excited about it.

We're going to, I'm going to turn it into a segment.

I'm going to work on a little intro.

OK.

But we're going to give it a soft launch

because you know we love a soft launch.

We're going to do it with Andrea.

Good morning, Andrea.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Now, we asked a few people to text in for their girl math.

Now, a lot of girls wanting to buy some stuff

or have already purchased things.

You want us to justify a $400 purchase?

I do.

What are you buying and why?

My hairdresser said he would look great

with some extensions for my wedding.

OK.

When's the wedding?

About seven weeks away.

Well, congratulations.

Mine's seven years away.

Still waiting.

Still waiting.

Well, I wear hair extensions.

Andrea, I wear them all the time.

I've got very fine hair and not a lot of it.

And I buy hair extensions.

So, I know that, I mean, you've got the human here,

of course, they're expensive.

I'm going to be interested to see how this is done

because this sounds like an upsell from the hair.

I've already done it.

Yeah.

And this also sounds like an additional cost to an already.

Very expensive day.

Yeah.

Very expensive.

It's $400 you could spend on the bar.

100%.

She's not going to spend that money on the bar.

You don't want it to turn into a cash bar at like nine.

How embarrassing.

Can we get the producer girlies on?

Because this is the team effort here.

In my head, I've already done this, right?

In my head, Andrea's going to say no to these hair extensions.

You're going to save the $400, right?

Then she's going to have her day.

Everything's perfect.

Andrea, I'm going to assume

that you've already put a bit of money into this wedding.

A little bit, yeah.

Yeah, a little bit.

Now, you're going to get, I'm going to say,

some of that money's gone to a professional photographer.

100%.

100%.

That's one of the most important things of the day

so you can remember it.

Now, you're going to get this.

You're going to get the best day of your life.

Your hair's going to look amazing, whatever.

But you're going to look at these photos and you're inside.

You're going to know your hairdresser's voice is going to be like,

you would have looked better with a few extra strands of hair on your head, right?

And this is going to eat away at you for,

I'm going to say, 10 years.

Oh, wow.

Until eventually, you're going to do a whole redo on this wedding

so you can get new photos done.

Now, we're not looking at $400.

We're looking at $40,000.

To have another wedding.

We're looking at $40,000 to redo the wedding

because that hair just looks thin.

Yeah, right.

Wait a minute.

10-year anniversary, yeah.

10-year anniversary.

You've got to redo it.

Can I have a turn?

Have a go.

This picture's on the wall.

This is a picture she walks past and sees every single day.

Oh, yeah.

But you know what?

While she sees her thin hair and every time she looks at the photo,

there's a feeling of anger.

It ends up leaking into the person

that she's beside, her beloved husband.

Oh, my God.

It's been poisoned the marriage.

Over 10 years, the marriage becomes poisoned.

All because you didn't spend an extra $400.

Then what happens, you can't stand it anymore

and you separate and you divorce.

But it also coincides with the fact

that your house is now worth less

than what you paid for it

because we're in another housing dip.

There you go.

You're buying it hundreds of thousands of dollars.

So based on Vaughan's girl-mathing here,

Andrew, you might as well cancel the wedding

because it's going to be if you don't apply.

It's the only option.

You either spend $400 on hair extensions,

but Shannon's got a theory

that they're not even $400.

You either spend the $400 on the hair extensions

or you cancel the wedding and save $40,000.

Shannon, how have you girl-maths this?

Got the calculator out.

It's currently got zero on it.

So $400, right?

Yep.

Standard hair extensions, great quality.

We're talking 10 wefts of hair.

So we're already down to four.

What's a weft?

Are you allowed to say weft on the radio?

I'm not any more.

It's kind of like the band of hair.

You know how you wore a halo?

That's one kind of weft.

I did wear a halo.

I looked great in my halo.

You look like you're wearing a halo for a wedding day.

She's got to go full weft.

We're down to $40 a weft.

Already significantly better.

Then I'm going to say she's going long.

I feel like she's a classy girl.

Andrea, we're going long?

Yes, so why am I here?

Maybe a 28 inch.

28 inch.

So we're going 40 divided by 28 per inch.

We're $1.40, baby.

You're $1.40 per inch.

I reckon looking at your hair,

I reckon it's worth $1.40.

That's basically free.

Then we think about the retouch aspect

that Hailey's doing.

We're back in the positives, baby.

We're earning money.

I don't know if 40 is less than the link bus.

Exactly.

For one sector on the bus.

Andrea, you can't not get these hair extensions.

It's going to cost you so much money

if you don't buy them.

Buy my calculations conservatively.

You know I am a conservative man.

Yeah.

You either spend $1.40 an inch

or it's going to cost you $800,000.

Right.

Go, Mast.

Your hair extensions.

OK, well, it sounds like you're getting the hair extensions then, Andrea.

That sounds like I am.

We'll have a beautiful wedding day in that case.

She will, of course.

Play Zudems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hailey.

I almost said the MF where I was just talking to Brad about banks.

You're not going to let your mic go on.

I almost said you too, my mic was on.

And I was just like, mate.

And then I was just mate it off.

All right, it's time for a special edition.

Girl math.

Girl math.

Girl math.

Girl math.

It's real now.

We've got an intro.

That's a banging intro.

That's a banging intro.

Thanks, Brad.

Joining us in the studio are Brad Olson,

principal economist at Informatrix

for a special edition of Girl Maths.

Now, you've heard the first couple of segments, Brad.

As a principal economist,

you're on the news all the time.

We've nicknamed you Bad News, Brad.

What do you think of the segment, Girl Maths?

Look, I understand why there's a need

to justify spending in this economy.

That's for sure.

Look, I can certainly get behind some of them.

The bag example, I can comprehend.

You see, she had four $250 bags, right?

You can see that.

What I want to know is,

did she use all four purposes with that bag?

100% she will.

It's an ongoing thing.

Ask her in 10 years when that quality bag

is still around, as mine is.

I'm not so convinced about the hair stuff,

but let's be clear,

I pay like $30 for a haircut.

So I'm the wrong person to justify hair spending.

Brad, didn't you hear the summary

that Vaughan so eloquently said?

She either spent $400,

which I know you're not keen on.

She would have lost $800,000 otherwise.

There's no arguing with that, Brad.

Where did that money go?

Now, we don't want $800,000 gone.

Now, Shannon and Karlan at the producer's desk,

are you a bit nervous

about today's Girl Maths with Brad here?

No, yeah.

Because it doesn't matter.

Like, it will always be justified.

It's a lifestyle and it's a delusion.

That principle economists at Girl Maths.

At Girl Maths.

I'm actually right.

Yeah.

Nicole joins us.

Good morning, Nicole.

Hi.

Now, you're considering a new purchase

and you'd like Girl Maths to justify this for you.

What are you looking at buying?

I've already brought it,

but I need to justify it.

OK.

OK.

Those are the best ones.

A post-purchase justification,

is this our first?

Yeah.

I think it is.

I think it's our first year.

No, the handbag the woman had just bought

at the day before us.

OK.

So how much did this purchase cost?

$330.

And what is it?

It's a brand new, new season ruby dress.

Oh, which one?

What which one are we talking?

Cos that's going to help me.

It's called the Ariel.

It's got a, it's a hole to neck.

It's got like shirt fabric down the side.

It's done it.

Send it more.

Oh my gosh.

Right, pink.

Oh, Barbie pink?

Yeah, like, beautiful.

Right, OK.

That's just the first road away.

Just the first road.

My...

OK.

Where are you going to wear this?

I don't even know why we need even bother.

Where are we wearing this?

Two, though.

Well, I have three weddings coming up this season

and all different people, OK?

Different crowds.

Completely different groups.

Look, I'm married to one of you.

OK, so this isn't 300.

I'm married to one of you.

And this is horseshit.

You're going to wear that to one wedding

and you're going to like get such a nice photo

at the first wedding.

You're going to be like, well, I can't.

Now I can't wear it

because people are looking for the photo online.

It's all about the intention, though.

It's the intention today.

She's going to wear it three times.

This is not a $330 dress, Brad.

It's $110.

But it's basically the same as hiring a dress, right?

It's basically free.

No, we're not quite at free yet.

OK, producers, girl mass.

Yeah, my thoughts immediately go

to the Instagram factor.

She's getting one Instagram pick-up.

The men are going to love it.

She's going to look hot.

Yeah, do we have a partner in the call?

Yeah, he doesn't know I brought it.

OK.

OK.

So no, she won't have one by the end of the week.

Because this dress,

going off just looking at the dress,

you might get a new partner.

That's what I'm saying.

And now if you're going for a mortgage,

you're only paying for 50% of that.

Now we're back in the hundreds

of thousands of dollars we're saving here.

Right.

Brad's face is just like, how?

Well, yeah, so if she posts in this dress,

she's at a wedding.

She's looking good.

You only need 10 men to buy your drink.

We're in the positives.

Yeah, you're trying to save money.

So she's got a partner

and she's going to a wedding,

which I assume is a tab,

but someone's paying for her drinks.

Yeah, just in general as well.

You know, she's putting it on Instagram.

She's going to look snatched in this dress.

Right. Okay.

So you're saying that because it's such a nice dress,

men will buy her drinks.

So that's instantly a saving.

Puts you in the positives.

Right. Okay.

Kaurwain, what are your thoughts?

So look, Ruby, I know a lot about.

And these dresses will have resale value.

I know you're looking in the eyes, Brad.

You don't believe me, but there is.

Wait, you're telling me she's going to make money?

There is a market for this.

Yeah.

So if she wears it three times, yeah.

At $110 a wear.

She can definitely sell this after those three wears

for more than $110.

Absolutely.

So she's at least saved one cost of renting one dress.

So even if she sold this, it's $330, $110 per wear.

Even if she sold this for $110,

one of those wears is now free.

She's wearing a free dress.

Exactly.

It's free.

So for two of the times,

yes, she's losing a bit of money, Brad.

But one of the times, it's not basically free.

It is free.

Can we just check in?

Are there any other times that we can use this dress?

Can we use it like at a work function?

Yeah, what do you think, Kaurwain?

We're supposed to be going to the races

for our work function.

And I brought like a really wide brim hat on the weekend

that I was going to wear with a different dress.

So I'm like, no, this gives Barbie vibes.

This is perfect.

Yeah.

OK, so that's another wear.

That's another wear.

It's $82.50 now.

It's $82.50.

That's her fourth wear.

And the hat is basically free

because it costs less than the dress.

Yeah, there you go.

Now, Nicole, have you been to Barbie?

Yes, amazing.

Beautiful.

I'm just 10.

I love it.

Right.

You were thinking she could wear another.

You might get a fifth wear out of that.

Because if we're getting five.

I would go again.

I could easily go again.

There's bound to be a summer bottomless brunch as well.

If you can get five wears,

we're talking about a $66 dress.

Now, you'd get that from a cheap shop.

But now you're buying a New Zealand designer clothes.

A piece of clothing.

I'm supporting the economy.

I'm supporting the economy.

OK, what about that point, Brad?

She's supporting the economy.

She is now.

The New Zealand company.

The biggest question for me is that the resale point is good.

Karen's point about the resale is good.

How long do you hold the dress?

Is there a commitment to salad?

Is it two years and it's gone?

It's got to be in fashion still, doesn't it?

Because the thing is,

if you leave it too long in the wardrobe,

then the math doesn't stack up.

So, girl math is OK here, I think, as long as it's...

Look at Brad!

Look at Brad!

Don't do it, Brad!

You have a career to think of, Brad!

Brad, I thought we weren't meant to be spending money.

Don't buy into this craziness!

She's not spending money.

The important thing here, though,

is that if it was a one-off or one-and-done purchase,

then, yeah, I'd be concerned.

But everyone's now thinking like an economist

and thinking, where's the economies of scale?

How do I get the most bang for buck here?

I like that thinking.

Cost per wear.

Cost per wear.

OK.

This never happens!

This never happens!

It never happens!

We've also encouraged someone else

on the text machine to go out and buy the specific dress.

Yeah, so it's the aerial halt address.

It never happens!

In pink.

You're going to cause inflation.

Are we going to send it to Shade?

Nothing or not!

I'm going to send it to Shade.

Why don't you sell it to Shade in two years?

Exactly.

Oh, no, about pink won't be all the rage.

No, pink is eternal.

What about, I mean, dress swap?

That's a thing, isn't it?

Yes!

Yeah, do you have best friends?

Maybe a best friend can borrow it for us.

Oh, my God, this is the thing.

It's like even if you're committed

to wearing this three times,

if you lose that commitment,

do a dress swap with another friend

that's going to the wedding,

but this dress is still getting worn,

so it still works out that it's basically free.

OK.

When I was at the store,

lady told me that I should rent it out afterwards,

so she's kind of...

You put on designer wardrobe, designer wardrobe,

you rent out, you're literally making money

off of buying this dress.

I think the only way this works

is if you do keep moving it around,

because I've got enough friends

where they've got fantastic wardrobes of dresses

that they haven't worn for like five years or so.

That sort of stuff, that's what we call dead money.

That's a sunk cost.

You need to sort of get rid of that.

You need to keep generating things,

and if you want the economy to turn over,

you've got to move the dresses around.

How much of your wardrobe is dead money?

I fit like two pieces of it.

I mean, that's a different kind of inflation.

We are supporting this recession

with GirlMaths.

I mean, we had Brad Olsonan, senior economist.

Now, we convinced him that it was actually legit.

Well, I think his point was

if you're buying items of clothing

and you're using them more than once,

and you're using them for many events and many things,

then he's on board with that.

Items of quality.

Yes.

That's right.

Now, my mother and father live in Italy half the year.

Must be nice.

Bloody hell, it must be nice.

Must be nice.

Now, she said, I'm too old for the cold.

I'm too old for the cold, Hailey.

So they live in this little village,

and over there at the moment,

they've been over there for months,

and they listen to the show on the iHeart Radio app

because you can listen anywhere around the world.

Fantastic. So free as well on the iHeart Radio app.

Live. Exactly.

Our morning is their night.

Their night is our morning.

They end the day by listening to Fletch, Fawn and Hailey.

That's lovely.

And Bonjourno, Pat Tien Craig.

Now, my mum heard about GirlMaths,

and she was like, well, hang on a second.

And she sent me a photo.

She said she walked past a shop the other day

and saw a dress.

And this dress was a silk dress,

an Italian silk.

OK.

Italian silk.

Italian silk.

So already we're clocking up the value here, ladies.

I'm just wanting to get you to paint the full picture.

Italian silk dress, but the shop was closed.

She sent me this saying,

I saw this in a closed shop window at the beach on the weekend.

I said, oh, my God, that's gorgeous.

It's silk, long sleeve,

kind of hits over and over about the knee,

and it is an incredible fabric.

It's all like Frida Kahlo paintings.

Gorgeous.

Instant boomer bait.

Frida Kahlo.

You know, right?

Look at this.

Like it's silk.

It's pink.

It's colourful.

It's incredible.

And the best thing about it is,

and this is how she's been justifying it in her head,

she's going to come home and wear that.

No one else is going to be wearing the same dress.

So true.

Oh, that is so true.

So you've got a unique pace there instantly.

Yeah.

So she went into the store and had a look at it,

and the price tag had her agast.

I can imagine.

I can imagine.

Especially when ever you're overseas,

you always, you cannot help,

but then times it by two and think,

well, that in New Zealand would be double the price.

That's right.

That's right.

You're already at the location.

You've already said,

are you girl maths thing?

Because she's already saved the money on the shipping

to get that dress high.

Exactly.

That now you're talking.

This is what I do.

We are getting everybody on board here.

So then she saw the price tag and she said,

oh my God, I simply can't.

I simply can't.

Right.

She wouldn't even say the price to my father.

She didn't.

OK, right.

Then she listened to an episode of Girl Maths,

and she girl maths this in her head.

One was that it would be more expensive in New Zealand.

OK.

That the Italian silk,

like to buy that equivalent of that dress in New Zealand

would be absolutely absurd.

Yep.

We're talking,

are we going to, an eight?

Wow.

I think it would start with an eight.

Yeah.

OK.

And then that's absurd.

Oh my God, for a dress.

Italian silk.

OK.

Frida Kahlo.

Yeah.

And to get it here, you know.

If you get it here,

I mean the shipping would have been at least $200.

Exactly.

$200.

I don't know how it should be worth.

$50.

And then she said,

well today the store was open,

so she went in and she's bought it.

Yay.

Yay.

That's right.

Now the silk is made in Sicily.

I mean, that's a conversation piece already.

And listen, every time that she wears it,

she's going to be like,

oh, Italian summers, you know.

And so special, the memories.

Yeah, exactly.

She said, I said,

now look, that's a one-off.

And she said, it's a one-off here too.

So no one in the world is going to have this dress.

This is a one-off dress.

And she said, so I applied Girl Maths to it.

Lovely.

It is the most expensive dress I've ever bought.

But we have two weddings, brackets, maybe three.

Perfect.

Right?

Next year, and a cruise.

So divide by four.

Put on a cruise, wear at least twice.

Yeah, you better wear it a few times on the cruise.

And then mum said to me,

practically free.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's basically free.

It's basically free, yeah.

I've got another equation for that to help Patsy.

Please, please do.

So dresses are always 50% off

because you're only having to wear one item of clothing.

Oh.

So you're not wearing pants and a shirt.

What the hell?

So instead of buying a shirt and pants,

you're buying one thing, 50% off.

Dresses are 50% off.

Yeah.

And you don't have to do the mental stress

of matching your shirt to your pants.

She's saving mental time.

The great thing is,

with the length of the stress as well,

we're talking heels and a nice jacket.

That's an evening out.

That's a wedding.

We're talking denim jacket and sneakers.

Thank you.

Now she's off to brunch.

Oh, it's basically free.

It's basically free.

It's basically free.

And then I said,

because obviously the price of the stress was absurd

and she was afraid to tell my father,

I said, well, how did you get around that?

They share bank accounts, obviously.

And then they're together in this shop.

She applied GirlMaths to my father and he bought it.

Yeah!

Your father used to run a finance company.

Yeah, dude.

How did she do this?

My dad knows money.

And he got GirlMaths.

Dad was on board once he explained to him the GirlMaths.

Great.

Do you see what you've started here?

You see what you've done?

It's a lifestyle.

We are the people.

We are the CEOs of GirlMaths.

We are.

It's basically free.

Well, we did ask,

we had a poll yesterday

because after we finished a show,

we've got the GirlMaths logo

or the GirlMaths logo.

We've got the GirlMaths logo

and the GirlMaths jingle.

So, that says GirlMaths.

And then we were like,

should it be Math or Maths?

And the hashtag that's...

I want to say become a viral sensation

is GirlMaths.

Because in New Zealand, we say Math and Maths.

Will you say what have you got next period?

You'd be like Maths.

I've got Maths.

Yeah.

But if you do the Math.

Yeah.

Or do the Math.

But then the poll results were kind of 50-50 as well.

Yeah, they were.

I don't know.

No, none of us know.

So, I think we'll just go GirlMath.

I think we'll go GirlMath.

This is easy to say.

Now, if you've missed GirlMath,

it's gone global.

GirlMath is when you need help justifying a purchase

and we, the girlies on the show,

will help you to GirlMath it.

So, basically, you're not really paying that much at all.

Sometimes to the point where it's basically free.

It's basically free.

In fact, most of the time it does end up being basically free.

Absolutely.

Now, I'm a little worried this has gone

viral and global because—

Why are you worried?

Brad Olson's principal economist at Datametrix.

Infametrix?

Infametrix.

It approved it himself.

Only if the item is worn and used to death.

Women don't do that.

No, women do not do that.

And I'm worried because inflation is not just New Zealand.

It's global.

Yeah.

And if we're encouraging people all over the world

with GirlMath to buy things they don't need,

it's only going to make things worse.

Well, we talked yesterday about my mum,

GirlMathing, an Italian Sicilian silk dress.

And if you want to see her in that dress,

because God, good law, she looks gorgeous.

Looks very glamorous.

That's on my socials.

And that was basically free as well, wasn't it?

Essentially.

Because she's wearing it to all these weddings.

Essentially.

And then Cosper wears.

Plus the silk.

Can't one who even said this morning

when I dropped the photo to the group chat,

it didn't even need GirlMathing.

It was just an essential purchase.

It was just essential.

However, we GirlMathed it and now it's basically free.

And now it's gone global.

We're on an Australian website.

Well, I've got too many bloody tabs open, don't I?

E-shopping.

I'm GirlMathing.

Right.

On an Australian website called Mamma Mia.

Oh, that's a huge podcast.

Massive podcast.

Yeah, massive podcast.

And they said,

I just discovered GirlMath and now everything makes sense.

They love it.

There, I think their podcast

has like two million downloads a month.

Yeah.

In Australia.

They said, I came across this concept on TikTok

via a video from New Zealand radio show Fletch,

Fawn and Haley.

That's us.

Oh, my God.

And then they talked about our example

with the handbag.

Yep.

Host Haley explained that

Vandrea chose to save the Fawn.

It's really fun.

OK, right.

Yeah.

And then we're on a UK website.

And I love this.

FVHZM is called,

this is called Screenshot.

FVHZM is a daily morning radio show

hosted by three people,

Fletch, Fawn and Haley.

That's us.

We were on the news.

That's us.

In the UK.

The trio are definitely most well known

for their pretty iconic recurring series,

Girl Math.

It even has a jingle.

I think we've done it like four times,

three times.

And yet it is our most iconic thing.

Yeah.

Also, and they described it as,

so every couple of days,

the FVHZM crew will read out

a letter from a listener

who's seeking some girl math advice

and in turn the on air,

fabulous female radio hosts.

Now they do include in that

Shannon and Karwan.

There you go.

You've made the news in the UK.

Well, they've expertly justified

defending a purchase

that might be up for debate.

See what you've done?

You've made this go global.

I've never been more proud

of something of mine.

Look at this.

Girl math, girl dinner, girl lunch.

I mean, we're living in the golden era

of girl content

and I couldn't be more delighted about it.

Our Barbie era might be coming to a close,

but there's a problem to be solved.

But where there's a problem to be solved,

there'll always be a woman to solve it.

Plus, you might get a free dress out of it.

It's basically free.

Well, it is basically free, isn't it?

It is basically free.

While some exciting things

to come for girl math,

I mean, honestly,

one, we've decided it's girl math.

Yeah, yeah.

And you've been working on

a little or something

that you can announce

in the next couple of days.

A little side project with the girlies.

Play, get in, split for the nailie.

Hey there.

My friends call me Big Bobby.

I dream big.

I like big burgers

and I'm big on streaming.

And when it comes to catching

those big moments

of my favourite shows,

I unfold the big 7.6 inch screen

of my new Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 5.

I love you, James.

I've always loved you.

And Big Bobby also gets big feelings.

Good for you, James.

You deserve it.

Get your Galaxy Z Fold 5 now

at the Samsung Experience Store

at the Stonebriar Centre in Frisco.

Play, sit in.

Girl math, girl math, girl math, girl math.

Girl math is back.

It's been taken the world by storm.

It's gone viral too.

Actually, producer Carl Weane

just girl-mathed me.

I borrowed some boots from Uchi.

I've got to return them

and I was like, maybe I won't.

Yeah.

And then she girl-mathed them for me.

Girl math, okay.

I mean, look, I know we had

economist Brad Olsonan

and he was a little bit

on board with it.

I wouldn't say fully on board.

No, he was fully on board.

Yay, he loves it.

Only if you got a lot of use

out of the items you're buying.

He's got the usage.

Which woman never do?

Yes we do.

I know you do.

We do.

We're all sad.

Cut his mic off.

Cut his mic off.

Who's got that power?

He's got the deal.

He's got the power.

Someone has to be responsible

around here.

Oh my God.

We welcome Sarah to girl math.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Now you would like girl math

to justify quite a big purchase

for you.

What did you buy?

I managed to get tickets

to Taylor Swift, the Sydney show.

Wow, well done.

Yeah, we've got 18 hours.

18 hours.

Did you, have you got like,

have you got a grade reserve?

I did.

Yeah, I got the top VIP package

for one night.

We've got a Swiftie in the house.

We've got a Swiftie in the house.

Wow.

Okay, so do you mind

ask, do you mind telling us

how much this cost you?

No judgement.

Did you want for the one night

or did you want for all the night?

I'm sorry.

What do you mean all the night?

I'm sorry.

How many nights are you going

to Taylor Swift?

I'm going to all four.

Queen.

Queen.

How much money are you having to

like, take out a loan to pay for this?

It used most of my savings.

Sarah, do you have a partner?

No, I'm single.

Oh, thank God.

That's the only way I was like,

this wouldn't be allowed.

This wouldn't happen.

No, I wouldn't.

He was another person who was monitoring.

Even if I did have a partner,

there would be no way I would,

he would be able to stop me

from doing this.

Amen.

Okay, the chewed,

the chewed on this check.

How much did you pay for four nights?

How much do you need us to justify

for you here?

No judgment, Sarah.

Accommodation flights and the four ticket

would be a total of $5,600.

Jeez, Nors!

This is going to be a hard one.

You're not kidding me!

I don't know if we can get

this down to three.

Okay, I reckon we can.

I reckon we can.

Now listen, flights,

you would have had to pay

that much for flights

for one night or four nights.

So that's free.

That was a good point.

Because she's going to four shows,

but she's not buying eight flights.

Yeah, exactly.

She's bought two flights.

Exactly.

Right, right, right.

Now, accommodation you need,

so that doesn't come into

their question.

You'll have to pay for accommodation at home.

How much is one set of flights

to Australia?

We worked it out at about $600.

Yeah.

So $600,

$600 times,

so that's $2,500,

but she's not.

So $2,500,

she's actually,

she's saved $1,800 there.

It's a great saving.

So what are we going?

We're going $5,000 minus $1,800,

because she doesn't have to buy eight flights.

Now we're only justifying $3,200.

Beautiful.

The maths have begun.

Easy peasy.

This is madness.

Well, yeah, and then you're thinking

accommodation for four nights.

Yeah.

You have to pay rent at home.

No, no, you've just,

you've shot yourself in the foot there.

She's still paying rent.

She's still going to pay rent.

Sarah, can you,

can you sublet out your room

for the four nights?

Yeah, that's it, that's it.

I, I could try.

Yeah.

I don't know how the rest of the people there

would, would feel about it.

Scrum, scrum.

I'm knocking off $200.

Yeah, beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We're at $300.

Okay, right.

Okay, right.

$300, we're at $300.

$3,000.

$3,000, sorry.

Yeah.

Damn, I wish we were at $300.

Okay.

Well, a great way to get the price down

for the tickets.

We're at $3,000.

$3,000.

So if you want to get,

let's say down to another $1,000 off,

she needs to re-watch her videos

of the concerts a thousand times.

Yeah.

How many songs do you reckon

you'll be videoing, Sarah?

I reckon I'm just going to try

and do the whole concert

over the four nights.

Yeah, perfect.

Okay, so the concert's three hours.

Yeah.

So I reckon if she watches

those videos a thousand times,

that takes the price off

because you're getting a free concert.

You're getting a free concert.

You're getting a free concert.

You're getting a free concert

because you get to watch it back.

Yeah.

Okay.

You're going to watch three hours

of videos a thousand times.

Yeah.

And that saves your grand.

Yeah, okay.

Now, also, as many of us

50s have been doing,

have you been watching

the live streams on TikTok,

Instagram?

I have been, yeah.

Exactly.

So those were free concerts

that you can take off of.

So you're telling me

she's getting about

1,500 free concerts.

We're in the positives already.

I mean, I don't know

how we've done that.

Exactly.

3,000, but just for logistical

sakes, I'll take away 1,000.

Now we're at 2,000.

Now, here's the thing as well.

It's like,

we've got a lot of people

who missed out on Sydney tickets

and which way we're so lucky

that we got them.

Yep.

Their alternative was to fly to...

Where's one of our friends going?

Melbourne.

No, no, no.

Order to, like, Vienna.

Someone's going to Vienna.

So we're looking at

justifying $3,000.

You don't spend that $3,000

to go to Taylor Swift

and you see all your friends

at Taylor Swift.

That itch will never be

scratched until you see

their Eris tour.

Next minute,

you're buying flights,

accommodation and tickets

to Vienna.

And you're telling me

that's going to cost

any less than $3,000.

You're kidding yourself.

Yeah, absolutely.

And you wouldn't be able to go

four shows there either.

So you wouldn't be able to get

the deal on the free concerts.

That's right.

And now we're in Europe

and everything's more expensive.

I mean, it's $2,500 return

for flights to Europe.

Yeah.

This...

I can't believe we've even

bothered justifying this

to be honest.

So justified itself.

And also ultimately,

like, when you're old

and, like, talking to

your kids,

your nieces and nephews,

whomever,

you can say you were there.

That's priceless.

My mum always tells me

I saw Freddie Mercury live

and I was like,

I don't want to hear it anymore.

You'll be able to say

that I saw Taylor Swift

in the flesh.

At the most iconic tour

of history.

The most money-making tour.

Beatles.

She's going to be there.

It's all about Swift.

Priceless.

So what have we got it down to?

Zero.

It's basically free.

It's basically free.

The way I've counsellated

at the amount of free concerts

she's getting,

watching her back on her phone

and the flights she's saving

to Vienna.

And subletting her room.

She's made $4,000.

And subletting her room.

Plus it needs to 200

for subletting the room

for all nights.

I mean, this is a real sale.

And she really has to fly

to Sydney four times.

Yeah.

Yeah, wow.

I see how this works.

And in general,

think of all the money

she's saving

and being a single woman

and not having to be

with a man.

And the mental time.

Oh, and the mental tax.

Sarah, it looks like

it's basically free.

Basically free.

Done.

Absolutely done.

Produce it, Jared and I

is looking at each other

like the houses.

Like what?

Man, that was easier.

We started with a big number

there and I thought

we're going to struggle

to get it down,

but it made some sense.

That's been your biggest

girl mass number yet,

hasn't it?

Nothing can not be girl

messed.

Nothing can.

Everything can be girl

messed.

Yeah, that's why I

beat it in English.

Play.

Students, Fletch, Vaughan

and Hayley.

Girl mass.

Girl mass.

Girl mass.

Girl mass.

Oh my God,

I want to go to a club

and hear this.

Girl mass.

Girl mass.

Girl mass has gone crazy.

Like the views on TikTok

are insane.

Yeah.

I said girl mass.

It's everywhere at the moment.

It's a lot of fun.

We're really enjoying

everyone's feedback

and engagement with girl mass.

A lot of people have been

emailing us

how they've girl massed that.

Yeah.

We received an incredible email.

It was like two pages long.

It was girl algebra.

It was next level.

Girl mass.

Yeah, it was unreal.

We're absolutely loving it.

But today we have a new

edition of girl mass

justifying quite a purchase

made by Kelsey.

Good morning Kelsey.

Morning guys.

Now there's the tone of a woman

who's dropped a lot of money.

Now you,

how much money have you spent

and what did you buy?

And so spent $699

on a Dyson supersonic hair dryer.

Jay.

Pus creepers.

$600.

Fletch gasped before even knew

what it was.

$600 don't know.

He's like,

do it for a brand new car.

He's like still,

still that's...

Oh my God.

Still that's why the money.

I'm interested.

Kelsey, the reason he's gasping

and I've stayed at Fletch's house

before and he has...

Excuse me.

He's got a cambroke.

Hey, you have a cambroke hair dryer.

No, I think it's like an Ancove.

It's something.

No, it's the,

what brand is the warehouse one?

Living and Code.

Yeah, Living and Code.

It's a Living and Code foldable travel.

Living and Code became

Ancove, didn't it?

And that's...

Oh, I don't know.

But it's...

No, it hasn't so old.

It's Living and Code.

Living and Code.

It's from the warehouse,

but I don't have any here.

It's just a service I provide

for my guests.

Well, I've got very short and thin here.

It still took me about four hours

to dry it using this thing.

And do you know what?

It was $29.99, Kelsey.

I don't even need GirlMath for that

because that's good,

that's a good saving.

I would have been better coming under the bathroom

and asking you to blow on my head

to get my hair dryer.

Exactly, exactly.

That's the whole point, right?

Right.

So are you loving this purchase?

It is like a game changer.

Like it is definitely worth the money.

Who makes it?

It's the hype.

Dyson, man.

That man had to blow air around

and suck air around it.

Blowing and sucking, Dyson.

That's this tagline, I believe.

Yeah.

Now, one of the features

because I was just looking this up,

I'm a girl.

I've got very light hair,

so I'm very prone to like flyaways

and it's blonde,

so a bit of breakage.

This has like a flyaway feature.

It does.

What does that mean?

What is one of those?

So the flyaways,

like the little fluffy bits of hair

that kind of stick up.

These ones are shorties.

I don't think they're right right here.

OK, God, you've got so many hale.

So what does it do to that?

What does it do to them?

It like smooths them down

and joins them into the rest of your hair.

How does it do?

And I've got two kids.

So I've got postpartum, like baby,

all growing back.

I've got the fluff

and like honestly, yeah, game changer.

Because you know what?

Let's get going.

How much?

How did you spend on this?

6.99.

Yeah.

We'll round it to 700 for the sake of ease.

OK.

Yeah.

Not exactly the sort of money

one should be dropping on this

sort of purchase

with two new children.

Yeah, they're not cheap, are they?

I don't want a guy math

as she agrees on it.

Don't guy math.

Get that stinky ass guy math.

Can we get the girlies on board here?

Girlies, we all know this hairdryer, don't we?

Incredible.

Now, I'm going to say,

as a girl with flyaways,

I actually, I don't have this hairdryer.

I've got a cheapie.

But I spend quite a lot of money on product.

I'm talking your mousses,

your pastes, your gels,

your hairsprays to stick down my flyaways.

I would say maybe

we're going to quake that to like $50 a month.

Yeah, easily.

Easily on products.

With the Olaplexes and stuff like that as well.

With the Olaplexes to try to do the bonding,

which this hairdryer already does,

as you've said, Kelsey.

So I reckon I would shave

at least $100 off

just on saving on products.

$600 a year.

$600 a year.

At $50 a month.

Thank you very much, Kelsey.

It's free now.

It's free.

It's free. Goodbye.

Thank God.

No, I would say.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm just doing the calculations here.

I don't want to, I'm not girl math.

No, I probably wouldn't spend $100 a year.

Let's say $100

on product.

Shave that off.

Now we're down to $600.

Yeah.

Which is still heavy for a hairdryer.

Well, I've got another calculation for you.

It's winter at the moment.

It is.

It's dangerous to have wet hair.

You can get very sick

because you lose a lot of heat from your head.

Going to be able to wet hair.

It's cold.

So I reckon an average doctor's appointment

in New Zealand.

$70.

She needs to use this 10 times

and she makes $70

every time she dries her hair from that time.

Oh my God, that's right.

Councillor, because if you get sick

or the wet head,

you're off to the job.

Let's play conservatively, though,

one at the start of winter and one at the end.

So $70 a pop, that's $140.

So we started at $700.

I'm going to make you work for the skill math today,

by the way.

I'm not just going to roll over.

He's clocking us.

He's doing the paperwork.

We were down to $600

and then minus another $140 equals $470

remaining on this purchase.

Keep going.

Did you take money off of the moose?

That was the original $100.

Okay.

Well, we're getting down to...

It's still quite heavy for an hairdryer.

How much time would you save?

How much time would you save?

Again, I'm not a girl

and I'm not girl-mapping here,

but how much time would you save

on this hairdryer versus the $30 one

that Fletch owns?

Oh, you'd do it in half the time,

wouldn't you, Kelsey?

Yeah, it takes me maybe

like two minutes to dry my hair now

as opposed to like $40.

Okay, so you save half an hour

every time you do your hair

and how much do you...

What do you put your hourly rate at?

What's your hour worth?

Oh, well,

let's say when it's going on my work hours,

I come like $50 an hour.

She's a $50 an hour girl,

so that's $25.

There's $25 every time she does it.

Beautiful.

Holy, how?

I mean, I'd take a couple of handy off there.

I'd take a couple of handy off there.

We're essentially getting down towards,

I hate to say, free.

We're at $200.

Kaun, when you've got a theory of your own...

Yes, now hear me out.

Girls' nights.

Yes.

Yes.

Drinks can be expensive.

They can be.

Now, you now own a great styling,

hair styling machine

that your friends will want to borrow.

Yeah.

And what can they do for you

in reciprocate of that?

Yeah.

That you drink.

Oh, my goodness.

Get ready at my house.

I'll get ready at mine.

I'll show you a couple of drinks.

Now, I'll get...

They're bringing it around pre-s.

All for that.

They're not turning up empty-handed to your house

if they're going to be using your hairdryer.

So what are you drinking?

What are you getting through a couple of bottles of...

Well, let's say your bottle of prosecco is like $18.

You've got to get through a couple of those

before you hit the town.

I mean, each time.

With $36, at least,

per session, that's once a week.

Okay.

Well, around that, it's a $40.

Just for my better maths.

Yeah, we're at $160.

Yeah, $160.

Now, here's a wild theory.

Would you say, Kelsey,

you've got thick hair or thin hair?

Thick.

What?

And lots of it.

Yeah.

How many hairs on your head an average?

Because let's break this down per strand.

The average human hair is about 100,000 hairs.

So that's the average human head.

So I'm going to give her a $50,000 extra.

Can you divide the money we've got left

by $150,000, please?

You're on the calculator today.

Per strand of hair.

I don't know if we're going to go per strand of hair.

We're looking at this downpour strand.

I'm sorry, but you've got to work for it this time.

How much does it cost to get a blow wave at a hair salon

if you were to go in and get...

Oh, $100?

Yeah.

Definitely.

Definitely.

So you're down to $60.

No, but that's only once.

Every time.

Kelsey, how many nights...

I imagine you work for it.

Kelsey, you've got kids.

How many times a week,

how many times a year do you think

you'd have a big night out?

Aw.

I mean, like, let's put this out.

I probably used to hear Joe

maybe, like, three, four times a week,

plus my husband uses it, like, every day.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

What does he use it for?

Dry his hair.

So, hang on.

Defy that in half what you've got left for AD

because two people are using it.

No, we're at $30.

We're at $30.

Aw.

And that is exactly what Fletcher's Canberra cost

from the warehouse.

Canberra, it's a living in cove.

A living in cove.

It's even worse.

It's got two speeds.

It's got two speeds.

And it does a call.

But hang on.

If she's using it three times a week,

that's 150 times a year.

Yeah.

And he's using it every day.

150 blowwaves.

Wait a second.

150 blowwaves.

What do we say it was?

100 bucks.

Oh, 100 bucks.

Well, that's $15,000 that she's saving.

So, $15,000 minus the original $699,

you've actually made $14,301 by buying this Dyson era.

Wow.

Congratulations, councillor.

It's not basically free.

You're running a business here.

Now, you will have to declare tax on that.

In fact, next time you see your husband,

he owes you a thank you.

Let's say she's got to pay tax on that

because now she's making money, right?

Let's go, minus 30%.

Equals.

Wait, she's still making $10,000 on this thing.

After tax.

Ah, yeah.

That's $10,000 in the hand.

And how long was the warranty on this thing?

It'll be a two-year warranty.

Oh, for the Dyson.

It'll be at least five years.

Seven years.

I think it'll be a seven-year warranty, don't it?

My goodness.

Far out.

Are we talking to a millionaire on the phone?

Hello.

Give us some, please.

Don't you buy a lot of tickets?

Over your seven-year warranty, in the hand,

after paying tax on the profit you're making

from buying the $699 here, Dre,

you're making $70,000 a year.

Ridiculous.

We could take the time.

Isn't that the average wage now?

Yeah.

You've got a salary out of buying this purchase.

I don't.

I don't.

I can resign.

You can resign.

I chuck it in.

Kelsey, click your job.

I don't know if you should resign with your job.

Click your job.

Call your boss now while you're on the line with us.

Tell him you got to pay a man.

I'll get your husband too because he owes you a thank you.

You're bringing in a double income.

This is ridiculous.

I think girl math is getting a little bit out of hand.

Absolutely not.

Tell us the flaws in our system.

I was hard on them there.

Yeah, you were.

I was hard on them.

You were.

They had it down to $30 and then scrapped it all

and made it making the money.

Made $70,000.

Fantastic.

Well done, Kelsey.

Thanks guys.

She's won $70,000.

Well done, Kelsey.

We'll just give you over to the producers

for your bank account details.

We'll transfer over $67,000 to you.

Thank you.

ZM's Flex for the Nailie.

As we have mentioned, girl math has gone global

and one man called Turner Gentry from Canada

who is a host on Pure Country Morning Show

thinks that it could be translated

for another group of people.

Good morning, Turner.

Good morning.

It's nice to be here, guys.

Thanks for having me on.

Yeah, I love what you're doing

and I just thought I'd ask nicely if I could steal it.

Who do you want to listen to how radio works?

You don't ask.

You just take it and you take it and I'll say the same thing.

You're like, what?

I haven't heard of that.

You've at least got to change the name

in about 5% of it.

Yeah, that's right.

So if we're doing girl math

and that's for the girlies trying to justify purchases,

who do you want to justify for?

Well, I wanted to do gay math

because I don't have any girlies on my show.

It's just me in the morning.

OK, you want to do a bit of gay math.

Do you think the rules of girl math,

which are basically, you know,

everything can be justified to the point where it's basically free,

do you think that applies to the gays?

I think so.

Yeah, I think we, you know,

I'm not going to say I'm one of the girlies,

but I'm pretty close.

I mean, I love that fear.

So then how will gay math differ from girl math, do you think?

I don't think it'll be very different.

It's just me helping the ladies get through their purchases,

this sort of supply I'm going with.

I thought you were going to get the gays to ring up

with their purchases.

Yeah, they're like, oh no, I don't,

I don't have enough of those in my town.

Oh, I thought you were going to get listers.

I was wondering, you're in a country station,

like, stereotypically.

Stereotypically, of course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a huge gay.

So you want the girlies to ring up

and your gay math, girl math.

Exactly, yeah, we'll work on it together

because what it's just, it's just me in the morning.

Right, I thought we could justify rush purchases

or harnesses or something.

Yes, I don't know.

Jesus!

I mean, one should never have to justify their harness.

That's my rule, one should never have to justify.

We've got Dimitri on the phone

who wants us to justify a ball and gag.

Now, it's the ball and gag.

No, I don't think that's kosher for my audience, but like...

And now we're going to play you some Willow Nelson

on the country music Canada.

Well, like, I mean, as we say,

I mean, girl math is global.

Everyone's doing it.

It's on every bloody podcast and radio station and article.

I like this evolution of girl math.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, girl math, gay girl math.

You know what?

I'll take it.

If you guys are okay with giving me the thumbs up,

I will run with it.

I mean, the pleasure of you asking

is truly the manners of Canada.

Yeah, great manners.

As a white male, I'll just say,

take this thing that the females of the show invented.

By all means.

Have act.

Absolutely.

I've got a purchase.

If you guys have time to do a little bit of girl math

with a gay hypothetically.

Absolutely.

Amazing.

So I went to Europe for the very first time

with my family this past month.

And in the entire month that my parents were there,

my mum had one request

and it was go to a Gordon Ramsay restaurant.

Oh, yeah.

So I offered to pay

and it came out to 491 British pounds,

which is about 1,050 New Zealand dollars.

Wow.

Wait, didn't he?

What?

For that kind of money,

he better be yelling at you and be there.

You know, he, yeah, he was not there regrettably.

Okay.

Can I ask how old your mother is?

Let's want to work out how long she's got left.

She'll be 60 in October.

60.

So let's give her 30.

Okay.

We'll give her 30.

We're going to break that cost down by 30

because that's how many years

you're going to have to hear about it

if you didn't take her.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

To this Gordon Ramsay.

So what's that?

We'll round it to 1,000.

How many people were there?

There's no point girl mathing everybody's right.

We've got to break this down to per person first.

Okay, that's fair.

It was, there was four of us.

So what is that, 275 a person?

275 a person.

Now, so if mum was 275

and she's going to live for 30 more years,

can you do a bit of division?

We'll get the girlies on

because this is their moment to shine.

Less than $10 a year.

Less than $10 a year.

So mum's basically free already.

You've got to eat.

So, you know, like I never regret

an expensive meal myself.

So we don't even need to justify yours.

Who are the other tag-alongs?

My dad and my little sister.

Oh, dad's the same theory applies.

So that's $20.

We've got it down to.

Well, his dad would have had,

if you hadn't taken mum,

dad would have heard about it

way more than you.

He would have divorced her.

Yeah.

And then they would have, like,

that's an expensive divorce.

Flo and all their money

and there would have been no adherence

for you because dad would have gone

single and ready to mingle.

Already half the inheritance is gone.

Yeah, so that's a seven.

I don't know how much you're in line for,

but there's a lot there.

Even if it was $100,000 to $500,000

that he was going to inherit,

that would have been gone

had he not taken them to Gordon Ramsay.

Girlies, any theories from you?

Well, look, did you get an Instagram photo at this?

Yeah, that's important.

I did, yes, both of the meal

and of the family,

you know,

out on a meal together.

Yeah, right.

There's got to be some mass in it.

Priceless.

Priceless.

You're saying that's priceless.

Yeah, it didn't count

unless it's on the gram, you know.

So you've validated the experience

and by posting about it twice,

that's double the validation.

Yeah, that's right.

Also, if your other option of a meal

that night was slightly sketchy

and you got food poisoning,

it would have ruined the rest of the holiday

and so that would have been money lost.

Yes, you're going.

Your travel insurance is vast.

You've got to go to the hospital

when you're not in your hometown.

That costs money.

I mean, we're talking just,

you've actually made thousands here, Turner.

You've actually made thousands.

Well, we don't know the inheritance,

but even without it,

you've already saved a few thousands.

Yeah, yeah.

And with the inheritance,

we don't know,

your parents could be millionaires.

We've made this man a million here.

I mean, you're welcome, Turner.

Over nine.

Brilliant, thank you.

Yeah, wow.

So that dinner was basically free.

The dinner was not only free,

we've made Turner a million here.

Yeah, wow.

Just like that.

Just like that.

Well, there you go, Turner.

See how easily it's done.

And I believe the Canadian dollar

just went up against the Kiwi dollar yesterday.

Oh, OK.

So, yeah.

He's made even more.

He's made even more money.

Depending on where you are,

you could be a multimillionaire.

Yeah.

Depending on what country.

You moved to Thailand

and tell your what,

we're looking at billions.

Well, best of luck,

and I can't wait to hear

how your gay meth

in Canada on a country music station

goes for the girlies.

Brilliant.

I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks, guys.

So, just a quick check.

Do you want to check the loot cones?

What is loot cones like your Rihanna

or Lady Gaga?

OK.

Well, I was raised on country music,

so I do like it.

Like, I like my job.

But Lady Gaga is my Lady Gaga.

I will say.

All right.

OK.

Harry Underwood might be my

Katy Perry.

Is that OK?

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, OK.

You playing loot cones

fast car every 45 minutes

on your station too?

Every hour and a half,

but we throw in a bit

of Morgan Wallen too.

So, I don't think

our playlists are very different.

That's us.

We're more pop music.

We're doing that.

You're going to have them back

any time you want.

I'm Turner.

Thank you so much.

Best of luck with a gay girl math.

And thank you, guys.

I really appreciate your time.

Have fun.

Nice to check to you.

And your blessing.

Play it.

Good Ems, Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

I forgot to dance.

You forgot to dance.

You're going to shake it.

I was eating a biscuit.

Does that count?

You've already had a little dance

when I asked Vaughan

to give me a little something

when he was changing his t-shirt.

In the air, you really gave it to me.

I gave her a fool.

You did, yeah.

I gave her everything.

We're wearing our girl math t-shirts

that say it's basically free.

That's right,

because that is the essence of girl math.

We've never made a promise.

We'll get each item down to free,

by the way.

Sometimes it just winds up that way.

Sometimes it's just basically free, yeah.

Sometimes it's basically free.

Sam joins us this morning.

Good morning, Sam.

Good morning.

Now, you need the girlies

to justify a purchase using girl maths.

Yeah.

Now, I'm looking at this purchase.

I actually own these.

Tell us what you want.

I want some Doc Martens sandals.

Yeah.

OK, we're coming.

You know, it's going to be spring this weekend.

Aaron calls these my orthopedics.

They aren't, like...

Very chunky sold.

You don't want to go a Birkenstock and said Sam?

Oh, God, the common person here.

I'm so sorry.

I really apologise about that.

It's forgiven.

How much does...

Cos I'm on number one shoes.

No, dude.

They'll give you free delivery

if you order over $100 over the shoes.

But they don't have the yellow stitching

that says that it's Doc Martens.

And I bet you they won't be leather.

And if they are, they won't be as high quality

as the Doc there.

You like your ones.

But they are chunky though.

They're very, very chunky.

Are you a tall girl, Sam?

I'm size at nothing.

Oh, yeah.

You need a bit of chunk.

You're a giant on the foot.

Yeah, OK, OK.

Well, I know they are...

Let's bring in the girlies.

Karween.

Hello.

Shanon.

Good morning.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Yes.

Cos I believe you've done a bit of...

You've looked at these sandals.

You like them?

Absolutely.

I'm debating putting them in the cart now.

Oh!

We might have done them a double girl, man, Sam.

I'm easily influenced.

Hang on.

Don't do that.

Cos now we're already running at a loss.

Cos we've got to factor in your girl, Math.

True.

You're a separate case.

Hey, dude, dude, dude.

Stop, girl, Math.

I just found them number one shoes.

Felicia, leather sandals.

$80 New Zealand Dollars.

And they got a chunky heel.

Oh, they're so ugly, Sam.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

OK, OK.

What about some hush puppies?

Oh, OK.

We're talking comfort.

Doc Marnins is partly about the cred.

And I get it, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've never bought Doc Marnins before.

You've never bought Doc Marnins before?

Never.

That'll be my first ever.

The three of us rock a dock.

Yeah, I'm wearing mine right now.

We love a dock.

And they last forever.

That's the thing with Doc Marnins

is you make this purchase.

I'm sure the girlies are already

going to be breaking this down per use.

OK, well, how are we going to do this with girl, Math?

Right.

So, let's start.

There are summer shoes, really.

So, let's take into account how many days

we have in a summer, 90.

No, I would argue this.

I've worn it in winter with a sock,

but you carry on.

Just add a minimum, you know?

Yeah, add a minimum.

That's right.

Global warming.

I reckon you can add at least another 30 days.

We're playing conservative this month.

Yeah, we don't want to want to come down on us.

Some people are saying girl, Math is frivolous.

So, we're trying to be more conservative.

Yeah.

So, 90 days of summer.

I feel like with the Doc Marnins,

you've got at least five years of wear in them.

Minimum.

Minimum.

So, that's five years.

Times 90 is 450 days.

Yeah.

Now, the average kiwi does 7,000 steps a day.

Oh, wow.

Impressive.

So, if we're working that down to steps,

you will walk in these shoes, 3.15 million.

We divide the cost of the shoe,

which is only 280,

by the amount of steps you're doing it.

We're talking 0.0009 cents per step.

You're telling me that's basically free.

That's basically free.

Well, per step.

I didn't know you were going to break it down there at five.

Yeah.

And we could even then divide by two,

because step, you know, we could go by foot.

Foot.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

OK.

So, we are assuming, I mean,

do you feel like you're going to thrash these,

or you're going to save them for special occasions?

I feel like I'll thrash them in the summer.

OK.

So, we're going 90 days of wear.

What part of the country do you live in?

Wellington.

And you can't beat it on a good day.

Yeah, but that one good day.

No, there's like four in the summer.

Four good days.

Very wet.

And you're not supposed to get a little wet, aren't you?

No, but Wellington is very much a sock sandal city.

Like, you can fashion this,

and you know I fashion my passion.

You can wear a sock with this.

Do you know what?

You could wear stocking with it.

Yeah, you could wear a stocking.

You could wear a stocking.

You could wear a jockeying.

You could wear anything with these.

OK.

Do you know what?

Because I own these, I've got a bit of...

It may deter you to buy them,

but then I might bring you back on track,

because I own these shoes,

and I wore them to a...

Well, I wore them to a tangi.

There you go.

I did.

I wore them to a tangi.

Yeah, strange choice of shoes.

It was a summer tangi.

It was a summer tangi.

Go barefoot, then.

It was a summer tangi.

Now, that's a formal shoe.

We could even break down that purse here.

You took them off outside the marae,

or did you...

Surely you took them off.

Of course I wore them off.

But when we were outside at the picnic afterwards,

I did not wear these into a marae,

and I recommend no one does.

But I actually took a tumble in them though,

a bit loose.

Now, I will give you a heads up, Sam,

that the buttonholes on these

can run for a wider foot.

Now, I'm a narrow foot.

Long, but narrow.

Skinny foot.

Wow.

Skinny foot.

So, I took a tumble,

and I twisted my ankle, right?

I was fine,

but I don't know Sam being smaller.

I'm going to imagine that she's...

You may be a bit not as built

like a rock as I am.

Yeah.

So, you might take it...

It's just less of a fall to the ground, isn't it?

Less of a fall to the ground,

but you might break your ankle.

Now, I've looked up a number of cases

where people have sued shoe companies

for injuries caused by their shoes

being unstable or not fit for use.

Now, here's an example of a woman.

She sued a company for $10 million

for misleading customers

on the safety of their shoes.

You may think it sounds ridiculous.

She won $3.5 million of it,

and that's in the United States.

Now, I hate...

Yeah, we've got ACC.

You can't do that here.

It won't negate that.

Yeah, but ACC, now you're going...

Now you're getting...

Okay, well, I was trying to get you $3.5 million, Sam.

Sorry, but the boy's a poo-poo there.

But if you're going to ACC,

when I go to ACC,

I chuck a few other things in there.

You know what I mean?

So, you're saying now...

I twisted my ankle...

That she could get free physio.

I twisted my ankle.

Now, they seem to get your physio,

where you can get your shoulder fixed.

You can get your neck fixed.

You can get your arm fixed

and get that funny knee fixed.

Now, you're getting hundreds and hundreds of dollars

with the physiotherapy sessions free

or because you bought these Doc Martens sandals.

I might even check my tooth on the way down.

Now, we're getting veneers.

Now, we're getting veneers.

We're getting in vizaline.

We're getting veneers.

She can't go about her life with a man-wood mouth.

This is Sam we're talking about.

Somebody's messaged in saying,

are you after the Blair 3 sandals?

No, not the Blair 3.

Oh, okay.

Because they're on sale at the moment.

No, it's the Miles.

It's the Miles.

It's new season, hon. Keeper.

It's fashion.

Oh, sorry.

So now, look, I'm going to go...

You've got a year of ACC physiotherapy

appointments.

How much, Fletch, you got a physio.

How much is your...

Oh, you pay 20 and then the ACC is the rest.

Okay, so you're going...

You're going, say, $20 times...

How many appointments are we going to do this year?

We'll say 48.

48 appointments.

Now, you've got $960 minus $279.

You've made $183.

Now, you've made $183.

You can get these sandals

and Vaughan's shit sandals

twice over from number one shoe warehouse.

Now, she's got three pairs of shoes.

If you break down three pairs of shoes at per step,

I mean, it's just ludicrous.

And almost a daily physio.

Yeah, and a daily physio,

you can get a massage in there,

get the knots out of your neck.

I mean, new woman and have new shoes.

Yeah, there you go, Sam.

You've got to get the shoes, Sam.

It's basically free.

It's not basically free.

She's in the profits, hon.

Boy, this will have silenced the online haters

who said this is frivolous

and also gives woman a bad name

when it comes to finance.

I would challenge them

to argue with our argument here,

to be fair.

Boy, you've really shown them.

Well, it's taken the world by storm, girl math.

That's right.

All over Tectok.

It's been on BuzzFeed.

It's been on all these incredible news websites

around the world.

Absolutely.

And some brands are using it, right,

to advertise things.

They're saying, like,

if you think you can't afford this thing,

girl math it.

I admire their...

It's basically free.

Exactly.

Well, they're jumping on a trend, aren't they?

They aren't jumping on a trend.

We are trendsetters, FEH, ZDM.

Now, Bunnings, a massive company,

have shared on their Tectok

a bit of girl math, right?

They have a stool,

an outdoor decorative stool.

It's cute.

Is it for sitting on or a table?

Well, that's the debate, right?

It's an outdoor decorative stool.

OK.

So, in their girl math,

they've said girl math your way

to owning this decorative stool.

And they show the stool,

and they say you can use the stool as a seat,

as a plant stand, as a side table,

as an accessory stand to display home decor.

Basically, you're getting many pieces of furniture

for the price of one.

And if you use it every day,

it's less than a dollar a day.

So, this stool is basically...

They don't say it's basically free.

They're saying it's a dollar a day

if you use it every day.

They've absolutely missed the mark.

I don't know if a business can say

it's basically free because then...

Because then people are going to rock in

and be like...

People like Shannon

that don't know how chickens work

are going to walk into bunnings

and say, I want my free stool.

Good thing she's pretty.

I say every day, good thing she's pretty.

Now, girlies, the thing...

The whole point of girl math

is to get it down as low as you can imagine.

Yeah, exactly.

To the fact that it's basically free.

They're saying a dollar a day

if you use it every day.

So, they say it's $89.

So, they're saying this stool

that I'm spending $89

is only going to last 89 days.

Yeah, surely it's going to last longer than that.

We've just looked up the material at cement.

It's cement.

Oh, I've got it's going to last for you.

It could last for either.

Exactly.

I can imagine they've probably

finished curing properly yet.

And after you use it as cement,

you could put it into some kind of

grinder and use it as driveway.

I mean, already I can think of

a thousand different uses for this stool.

Well, I've just seen...

It's about 19 kgs

and looking at the price of concrete,

you know, that's about $20 to $30

worth of concrete.

So, you're already knocking that off the price.

You're already wacking off the cost

of the materials that they're making here.

So, you want to do better girl maths.

I want to do better girl maths.

For bunnings.

For bunnings.

OK, right.

Now, in the bunnings,

have we got the bunnings theme tune?

Yeah, I can bring that in for you.

Yeah, I'd quite like that.

We'll also need it delivered

in style of bunnings employee.

OK.

You know, the ads.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know.

OK.

Oh.

Here at Bunnings,

we like to keep prices low.

So, I want to tell you

how to girl maths this stool

so that it's not $80.

It's basically free.

I love my job.

They're not paying me to do this ad.

Can't believe it.

They actually don't.

They've actually,

they're going to call me

out of my day off.

Yeah, they'll do that too.

Hi, I'm Cassandra

and I work at Bunnings.

Here's how this stool

is not a dollar a day.

It's way less.

Now, you can use this stool

five different ways.

That's what bunnings told me.

If you're using this every day

for a year,

it's not,

it's 365 divided by

five different ways.

So, that's $73.

So, you've already knocked that off

and you removed $30.

Now, it's $40.

Divide that by five for the use.

It's $8.

So, it's not $89.

It's $8.

And then,

if you're going to gravel it up

and put it into a driveway,

how much does it cost

to re-gravel a driveway?

Thousands.

No, you're making thousands.

You'd have to go down

our old 37 and ask them.

I think it's not really

my area of expertise.

Bunnings, they won't know either.

Oh, shot's fine.

Shot's fine.

Shot's fine.

Shot's fine.

Shot's fine.

It seems to my attention,

my attention.

Let's say it's $2,000

to re-gravel a driveway.

You've just made yourself.

What, are you going to smash

up the concrete table yourself?

Yeah.

I don't think it's going to

re-gravel an entire driveway.

No, it'll do it like that.

And here's some backfill though.

It'd be great for backfill

if you're doing a retaining wall.

Here at Bunnings,

you can buy this stool

and make $1,992.

Bunnings, you can count on us

to keep our prices down.

That's the countdown one,

isn't it?

That's countdown.

Wait, we'll be competing

at this price by 15% or more.

We'll beat it by 15%?

Oh, well, let's add 15% there.

Let's take away $1,992 minus 15%.

You're literally making

about $3,000.

Roughly.

Per table.

It's basically free.

Per table.

Bunnings, we'll keep counting

Bunnings thought that it was

going to be $1 a day.

They've grossly overestimated

the cost of this stool.

It's basically free.

It's basically free.

See you going to town.

I love Bunnings

and I love working for Bunnings.

Thank you, Cassandra.

Thank you.

I'm Cassandra from Bunnings.

And cut.

Cassandra, get back

to the garden centre.

Sorry, I'm going now.

Jesus.

Sorry, I'll leave.

There are big,

really big,

weird, flat trolleys

that need to be put back

in the rag.

OK.

Get out of here.

Do I get paid for this ad?

Absolutely not.

No.

Well, I'm advertising the company.

Yeah, but it's great experience

to get your face out there

and casting director might see you

on this ad

and feel like that's who I am.

OK, now this person who works

at Bunnings is going to be making

what did someone make

on their last film?

I mean, what is?

Well, Margot Roberts just made

what they reckon

closer, over $100 million.

Oh, my God, you buy the stool

from Bunnings

and you're a Bunnings employee.

You're making…

You have potentially sitting

on $100 million.

I counted 79 all rights today.

Fletcher, but that's a new personal record.

Oh, f*** off.

How many of those did you count?

Oh, yeah.

79 of those, too.

All right.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast,

give us a rate and review.

Oh, f*** off.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan Haley.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.