ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 9th October 2023

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Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

We do mention on the podcast a couple of times it was my birthday over the weekend.

We're good tomorrow just to never talk about your birthday till next year, right?

Till next year. Yeah, we're good. I know when my time's over.

We had a lot of airtime.

Yeah, we have had a lot of airtime. I got so many compliments as well.

About what?

Well, you guys gave me for my birthday the compliments.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Hotline. Yeah.

Well, that continued throughout the weekend, so thank you very much.

Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama.

But on Sunday, profoundly hungover, I woke up early and you may remember,

I bought my present for Aaron to give to me.

Yes.

Which is a book by my favourite author, Ken Fullet.

What kind of writing does Ken Fullet do?

Like big, historically based, medieval kind of dramas.

But sexy.

And there's always like a couple of lesbians fingering under a tree or something.

What is lesbians fingering under a tree?

Yeah, it was one of my favourite passages was when Karis,

and is this a spoiler alert of my favourite book of all time?

Well, without end, she joins a nunnery.

She's like, I've got to do some good with my skills.

What are her skills?

Well, she's just really smart.

Great at fingering, right?

But fantastic long fingers.

And she ends up having a little lesbian experience under the tree.

I didn't think that lesbians were doing that back then.

Fingering?

Excuse me, sir, as long as there's been lesbians, there's been fingering.

Yeah.

When I said, anyway.

In medieval times.

At medieval moments.

I'm looking forward to seeing if this new book, which is part of the series,

of that book, has some sort of sapphic,

lesbianic behaviour.

Wait, so she was a nun, what were her skills that she took to the nunnery?

Oh, she was just really, she was incredibly intelligent for a woman at the time, which was...

So she's like, I'm going to throw this away by joining a church.

No, she like, went through some trauma and then was like,

I need to help people.

Right.

So she became a nun.

But why are you telling us that situation?

You can't do that in a nunnery, can you?

Well, she was outside the nunnery under a tree.

With another nun.

With another nun.

A real dangerous territory to be asking other nuns if they want to be fingered under a fig tree.

Yeah.

Because what if they say no and they dob you in and then you're out on your tree?

And then you're out.

And you're in hell.

Yeah.

Burning with the other heathens.

Yeah.

Wow, she got away with it.

She got away with it.

We've all got away with it.

So you've all got away with it.

So you've got part three.

I got part...

Well, it's the fifth book of the Kingsbridge series.

It's Ken Fuller.

He's a horny man.

This is a prequel.

This is a prequel prequel.

The earliest it went like this one and then it did a prequel and then it did a sequel

and then it went back to a prequel.

Why are you dancing all around?

So if you're going to read these, would you read them in order or a release?

If you're reading articles about it this weekend, what order you should read them in?

Order of publish or order of...

Chronological, yeah.

Chronological.

You'd go chronological, wouldn't you?

They say go chronological if you can, but also you don't have to because obviously you

didn't write them in their order.

Anyway, so I got this book and when I got it from, I said, oh, I've bought my own birthday

present for you.

And I know that it was like a $40 book and I got him a PlayStation and then I was already

going to look, you know, but I didn't need anything else.

I get gifts all the time.

And so I gave it to him.

And he said, that's fucking sad, isn't it, that you're buying your own book for me to

gift to you?

I was like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

But I did say to him, because this is what Aaron does and I effing hate it, is he'll

buy me a book or I'll buy a book and I'll take too long to get into it so he'll read

it first.

And he bends the spines and I don't like it.

He bends the spines, he's got a real bad habit of like leaving a book open wide on the pages

on.

He's got big manhands, doesn't he?

His hand is going to doggie the pages, it's just going to get manky and I like to read

the book.

I knew it's my book.

Yeah.

Heavy spilling his vape juice on it too.

Yeah, exactly.

Juice and everywhere.

Yeah.

Sloppin' on it.

So on Sunday morning when I woke up, he said, I want to give you your present.

And he had a card, I bought him the card.

And then in the card it said, Chapter 1's a doozy, wink, wink, and I was like, you prick,

I knew it.

He read the book.

And I unwrapped the book and I could see this like, gape where he's read it probably

on the fingering page.

Yeah.

Fingering that page a little bit too much.

I could see a gape, you know, and it's all kind of, you can tell a book's been read.

And I was just about to pop off and I was like, oh my God, you bastard, you read the book,

I specifically asked you not to.

Yeah.

But then he was like, no, Chapter 1's really good, have a look.

And it was a voucher for my favorite jewelry.

So the gate was a big, thick voucher.

Imagine if you'd popped off it in.

I was about to because I was like, I genuinely, it's really a pit hate of mine is you reading

my books before I get to read them.

Wait your turn.

He's done it so many times.

He's even done it when I've slowly been reading a book and he'll go back and say,

Oh, he'll read behind.

Yeah, read behind.

Is that okay though?

Because you've already turned forward.

You've already turned this.

No, but he reads faster than me.

Oh, right, okay.

So he taught us in the hair situation, blows past you with his reading speed.

Yeah, but instead, yeah, I get to go buy some jewelry.

And did you start reading the book?

No, I couldn't.

Yesterday, I couldn't look at words on a page.

The words on the page were...

No, the word was still spinning.

So I'll start today.

I'm really excited.

And I get to think of the book first before he fingers it.

As God intended.

As God intended.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.