ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 8th October 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

And this is a chance for producer Jarrod to apologise.

Hello.

Hello.

Another apology from, is it for the midi?

No, this is to a lady I've never met.

Oh no.

The lady who fielded my courses, my power and internet company.

Oh.

Uh oh.

Oh my God.

Sounds like sing times, aren't they?

Sounds like somebody didn't reset their router and just called up and complained.

Nope, nope.

I did reset the router.

So we moved.

He was a tech guy.

You'd hope he would go there first.

Yeah, you would.

Yeah.

So we moved on Saturday.

But I was lucky enough to get into the property on Friday for just a little, like, rearrange.

Okay.

And I had set it up so everything would be working on Friday.

But I got there.

There was no power.

That was a five hour phone call.

Very frustrating.

Oh my God.

Just don't they just leave it on in the, like, in their name?

Or like, there's always a bit of a luxury period of you've got to get it sorted out,

but you'll have power until it is.

Yeah.

So that luxury period lapsed because the property had been vacant.

Ah, gotcha.

So I was already frustrated and then I had to call them again the following day for internet

problems.

Because my router wasn't connecting to the ONT, which is the Optical Network Terminal.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

I might have an ONT.

The ONT.

Yeah.

When ONT 300, in the past we've had ONT 1s and 200s.

It's a thing.

Right.

So you know.

I don't even know what my ONT is.

I've got ONTS in hot pools.

Oh God, ONTS is so great.

Does your ONT look like a little rectangle box with no aerial at the bottom?

Is it the fiber one?

Yeah, it's me.

I've got one of them.

That's a 100 or 200.

What's my Starlink?

I don't think that's an ONT.

No, you don't have an ONT.

I'm ONTless.

You're ONTless.

I'm ONTless.

On 3.

On 3.

Oh God.

So I set up the router, plugged it in, or tried to plug it into the ONT.

Didn't fit.

So you know, Ethernet cables have that like port.

Yeah, Cat5.

Yeah.

Oh, Cat6.

Cat6.

I just shot in the dark.

Cat5 is a port once.

That was completely a guess.

So I tried to plug that in, but it was too big for the port, which is a weird problem

if you know anything about check.

Oh, fuck off.

I've got a model 100 or 200.

They're up to like, look at all these flash ones.

I've got the shit one.

Ask for an upgrade.

Ask for an upgrade.

Yeah.

I don't want a shit ONT.

I've got the worst ONT you can have.

Well, it's a great time to look for a new rental, by the way.

Man, it's embarrassing.

Oh, what do you say?

Oh, these are the...

Yeah, gotcha.

Yeah.

Gotcha.

What do you mean?

Gotcha.

No, I thought you were actually talking about the type of router you had.

Not the thing on the wall.

The thing on the wall.

The thing on the wall.

Yeah.

When chorus just comes to your house and they're like, ah, fuck it.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Man.

Yeah.

That's the ONT.

That's the ONT.

Those bastards drew a frickin' cable through my 145-year-old witherboards in the front

of our house.

Yeah.

Well, where did you want them to go?

Not at the front of my house?

Ask.

Ask.

It's a funny shot.

Ask.

They didn't ask.

Aeris came out and was like, oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Up the side of the house, mate.

Yeah.

It's all over the country installing Fibre.

There still is an Instagram, an Instagram or Facebook page called Chorus's Shit Installs.

Now, if you're overseas, this is the chorus is, like, they own the lines or they're contracted

to install the Fibre and, you know, keep an eye on lines and stuff, so.

So your ONTS, you got the ONT ONTS.

Yeah.

The ONTS ONTS is an ONT ONTS thing.

And cut to Monday, still no internet.

Yeah.

Very angry J.P.

Cos soapy is coming out in a few days.

Loves his internet.

He's had to wank the old school way.

I saw him.

Yeah.

Memories.

Yeah.

Memories.

Memories and magazines.

Yeah.

The former residence left behind a real old playboy.

So that got you out.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

So I called up the ISP, Internet Service Provider.

Thank you.

And wasn't.

Did you tell them you've got a fancy ONT?

Yeah, I told them.

Okay.

Cos I work in tech, I kind of know the terminology.

So I wasn't, like, waiting for a tutorial.

I was straight in there.

Okay.

First with Jasmine.

And I said, look, Jasmine, I've tried everything.

Nothing's working.

You guys haven't supplied the right cable, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I don't often do that because I'm quite a timid lad.

So that was a big move for me.

Cut to two hours later, I get on the phone with someone else.

Oh, no.

I just hadn't plugged the cable in.

Oh, shit.

You.

Sharon.

Wow.

So you just not plugged it?

Yeah.

And you just, like, I would guess 30 seconds ago, Tops claimed to work in tech.

Classic boomer move there.

Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah.

So.

I'm embarrassed to know you at this point.

So wait.

Once you plugged the cable into your aunt, you're good to go.

It took two seconds.

Yeah.

And I was online.

Good.

Sorry, Jasmine.

I'm really sorry.

I won't be terse ever again.

Oh.

I won't apologize with which the terse nature I spoke to.

Vector this week.

Oh.

I know what I should do.

I shouldn't apologize.

Far too long a story.

Really?

With legal issues pending.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Just with other people.

Just an entire situation.

Oh, wow.

That could be a whole true crime podcast series by the sound of it.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

She's all go.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.