ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 4th September 2023

the ZM podcast network. Fleshborn and Haley's little bit of pod. Treat yourself to

Mccaffay coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to a little bit of pod and over

the weekend just gone. Went with some friends up the pinnacles walk in the

Coromandel. Vaughn and I have done that this walk many years ago. I did it, I've

did it for the first time in 1996. I did it with, oh no actually did it before then

as a primary school aged kid. Because it was quite a popular place for like a

school camp. Yeah because the Caronga Valley base camp where we stayed and we

hiked up to the pinnacles and then we did it again at high school. And they've got a

massive dock hut up there that sleeps like 200 people. It's insanely massive.

I've never done it. I've never. It's pretty cool. I'd love it. It's a great walk. We chose the only place in New Zealand at the weekend with rain and

clouds. It was so weird. It was stunning and all clouds. I was waiting for it all

weekend and we never really got the weather that you had on that hike. Like the

view from up there is incredible. You can see the entire Coromandel. A lot of

people go up and stay the night in the hut and they get up at like 4am, hiked

to the summit, and then watch the sunrise. It's incredible. You get yeah, it's an

absolute Instagram bait. Oh I know. Oh no. The photos. But we just wanted to hike

and it was even though it was cloudy it was still fun. Did it for the fit bra. Yeah

did it for the fitness bra bra bra bra bra bra I close my rings um who was the

girl you were with? Is that a girlfriend? Is that your girlfriend? It was a girl on the

trip. No so do you know Morgan now friend Morgan she's like why wasn't I

invited who's this new girl? Yeah I saw you with the powers and I was like no

she's a friend of ours she's also a doctor she's friends with Dr. Shawnee

she's a doctor right Dr. Robin. Wow is she a doctor like a qualified doctor or

like crystals and shit? No she's actual doctor. Yeah yeah you never know what Dr.

Shawnee is. Deals a lot with the pain. With the pain? Urology. So the pain and the

the pain and the pus. Pain and the pus? Yeah. This is a podcast we can say pus don't we?

Pain and the pus Dr. Shawnee. I just want a little bit of alliteration. Yeah I don't know I mean she's

a doctor. You're a urethra and the urethra. But great to go on a hike with two doctors and an

HR specialist. Yeah true HR that would be good they're helpful. Just in case you need to fire

someone. Yeah and a fucking radio broadcaster also helpful. Yeah talking the whole time. A lot of it

because I really I'm I really want to get some outdoor hikes going I tried for the first

kilometer of the hike to walk with my friends. Oh for God's sake. You piece of shit you went on a

social hike and blasted everybody. I walked ahead and then I waited at the little swing bridge and

I was like for fuck's sake like it's been five minutes like come on it's flat still and then so

I walked ahead I waited at the next swing bridge and I was like for fuck's sake this is 10 minutes

just on your own and then I did I just I went up there and I think I was at the hut for about 40

minutes. Wait you went on his own. I'm not hiking with you. Absolutely nailed the I went up there.

What did you do but then that's the thing you're there and you sit on your ass for 40 minutes

you better walk in a slower pace. I got so cold waiting like my sweat was turning to like yeah

but anyway they came we had lunch at the hut then we did the summit and then again I tried

because it's quite technical at the time you got to jump over some like there are some ladders and

some rocks yeah and so I was with some friends and then I was like okay I can't keep going at this

pace I'm gonna burn down to the heart again yeah because I'm sick of this and I was by myself

yeah for this and it was like there was a lot to do a little oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

actually if you read the fine print the demand of conservation you're a taxpayer you're a

lot of a wank. They actually lock the hut when the because he's awarded me until they lock it until

people start arriving to stay the night because I don't want people going in I guess because it's

so many people. Well you can even go into the like kitchen even. You can go into the outside

covered but but not the kitchen they put a padlock on until like 3.30. I'm gonna have one in the

cold shed because out friend Nathan I'm such somebody's dick in that cold shed. Yeah I did

tell everybody that story at the weekend I said I'll give free gave up here and found another

gay. No fun to me anywhere. Gays in the bush. It's like it's like crunching a cornflakes you

just make a sound. I'm coming down. I'm coming down too. Yeah they find each other. So I was coming

down from the summit by myself and it was like it was like incredible it was just like

cloud around it was like misty it was so cool and there are a few ladders so I was by myself and I

was like get got down the first ladder got down the second ladder and walking backwards and then

just as I planted my foot I lit out a large giant fart. I grew in nature. Oh you find the nature.

It was beautiful and I was like nothing more natural than a fart. Yeah but it was it was fine

because like my friends were like two ladders behind I couldn't even see them with this eye.

That's why I had to haul ass to the hut he had a skid. I let go of the ladder and took one step

and there's a lady right there. Oh no you found her in her face. Fletch. And at this stage I'm wearing

my like right because it's raining and so my hood's over my over my head. Unrecognizable. There's like

a little there's like a letterbox kind of you can see my face and that's it and and I was like

oh hi and just walked past her. You didn't say excuse me. Well no because I was so embarrassed

and then I was starting to walk and I thought I was alone in the wilderness and I had let off this

like it wasn't a miss it's not like it sounded like my foot hitting the ground. It was a classic

fart. It was a quiet in nature. Yeah beautiful. Gigantic fart and I was like well I'm just I'm

just leaving now I'm off to the hut. I'll never see this woman again in my life. And she'll be

you're regaling this story. She'll be doing the same. God is in the bush. I guess there's

man in front of me. So we're driving back to Auckland and I'm posting all my Instagram stories.

Oh my god no no no. My photos and and such and I get a message request from Briar Pope.

Oh for god's sake. Oh no. Underneath this message are me and my red bright red jacket which can

be not mistakable at all. Thanks for the really loud fart on your way down the ladder.

Thanks for your really loud.

Thanks for your really loud fart on your way down the ladder when you thought no one was there

crying face emoji. Oh my god. And then I was like I said I said haha I was literally like fuck and

then I thought I wonder if she recognized me and then I thought oh well and she said no you

were safe until your mates met you your name and I connected the dots. Oh no. Yeah and I said look

I'm so sorry but at least it'll make a funny story for the radio. She said you're all good. Oh my god.

Oh yeah that was so embarrassing. Was she hot. It shouldn't make a difference. It shouldn't make a

difference. I honestly. Farting in front of hot people is so much worse than farting in front of

some fuggos. It was such a bore to me because I was just I didn't expect to see a person. It was

all a blur. And I was like oh I just kept walking. I was like maybe she didn't hear. Maybe she didn't

recognize me. God no one needed that hot wank. Really just removed the hands off.

I'm not here to judge. At least she heard the fart and didn't hear the wank.

Yeah sort of. Imagine that she was like oh it's too much and turn back and arrive back at the

hut. I'm mistaken all red jackets.

Wardens like mate. I've unlocked it. He's like oh my god. Oh shit.

It's good aye. It's good.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.