ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 28th August 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

Now, on the Big Bit of Pod today,

otherwise known as a radio program that we do

from 6 a.m. till 9 a.m. Monday to Friday

on the ZM FM Network.

I mentioned that my children are back into the candle business.

And we pointed out, didn't we,

it's more like a front for a Vaughn and Chade

to make money off these.

I'm too fucking lazy to be doing that at the weekend.

Well, they also seem that they're not really

pulling their weight in the business.

That's all I'm going to say.

I tell you what, that fragrance,

nothing but fragrance in the house.

You really appreciate stepping outside

against the fresh air.

Everyone loves the scented candle

until their entire being is scented candle.

My car at the moment smells of washing powder

in such a big way because I had the washing basket

in the back of the car, jammed the brakes,

washing powder box hits the deck everywhere.

Washing powder?

Oh my God.

Are you okay? Do you need to borrow some time pods?

I've always been a powder girl.

Ooh, I knew you.

Really? This is a big issue here.

I've always been a liquid guy.

Yeah, it makes so much sense.

I hate it.

It gets all caught in the clothes

if you're doing too big a load.

Do I need to make a change?

Oh my God, going liquid or going the tide pods

from Costco.

Tide pods where it's at.

It doesn't have happened either

because the box, the powder is everywhere.

And the smell, I come out of the car

and I'm like, God, how good's...

Cold water surf?

Yeah, it is cold water surf.

You've got cold water surfering all over you.

I know, I usually use the eco stuff

but I got that one from the dairy.

Right.

And a punch for you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it cleans better in cold water.

So there you go.

You've saved on the heating the water.

Yes.

But yeah, the smell, a bit of a headache.

But then the girls were like,

Shade signed them up for some kids Christmas market.

Oh, okay.

Where everybody, the kids are doing stuff

and they go and sell things at this Christmas market.

Oh, I reckon no tax will be paid from that market.

So that's why Indie was like,

so how will that work?

Because we don't have F-POS.

Or like, it won't go into our bank accounts.

You need one of those card things

where you shove it into your phone.

I think you can get one from the bank.

Yeah.

But so she was, because I've explained to them,

because once I said,

I was telling them about how when the money goes into the account,

you've got to put aside so much money for tax.

And they're like, how do you know?

How do they know that you owe them tax?

I was like, well, money,

you can see the money that comes in.

If you're earning money, it's cool P.O.A.

But the way you're doing it,

you're getting money into a bank account

if they have a check and you haven't paid the tax,

they'll be like, give us the tax.

They're going to fill out an IR 333 or something like that.

And do you tell them the IRD

isn't above throwing children in prison?

I see the IRD will throw you in a children's prison.

Yeah.

And there's nothing worse than a children's prison

if old Disney movies are anything to go by

for orphans and misbehaving children and such.

Food's not good.

Then this time, she's like, well, how will they pass?

Well, people take cash to the markets.

But we might have to do bank transfers and stuff.

To be fair, all the markets around mine at the weekend,

everyone has an F pass.

I know.

It's just so much easier now.

Yeah.

And so she's like, oh, so we'd just be getting paid cash.

And I said, yes.

And she said, well, we're going to have to pay tax on that.

And I was like, you are 11 years old.

So she's already figured it out.

She comes from a long line of people who love a cash.

Love a cash payment.

She's got farmers and farmers love a bit of cash.

Oh, cash rules.

Farmers love a bit of cash.

Keep that off the books.

Do you know who's not doing cash?

She's Trades.

It's like maybe they all got audited one year.

I think they cracked down on it.

Yeah, they did.

It's a bummer.

It's a bummer when you're renovating.

Tell you what.

You're like, oh, I have a bit of a cash here.

They're like, nah.

Really?

Yeah.

Maybe then you're a narc.

Yeah.

You were on TV heaps.

And now you're not on TV at all.

You've had all your jobs canceled.

So they think you must be working behind the scenes

on a new Target-esque fair show.

She's slipped.

She's fallen from grace.

And she has to host one of those shows.

That's probably also why you're like,

plumbers and stuff aren't having a wank in your house.

Yeah.

Because they think they're doing well.

Aren't they?

Aw.

We've got a good house.

Plumbers and builders used to wank all the time in houses.

No, I know.

Into my sock drawer.

Yeah.

But your undies and socks have got that white powder in them

from when you wash your clothes with powder

and it gets stuck in all the folds.

They're like, they get out and they're like,

oh, I'm not really into it.

How much did that one series of that TV show

clean up the industry, eh?

I told you about how...

That season was iconic.

Did they have three wacks in one season?

I think they did, yeah.

Because for those overseas listeners,

there was a show, it was called Target,

and they would have stings.

They'd put hidden cameras in houses.

Take houses and get them to come over and...

And get a plumber or a builder to come over.

Yeah.

No, they were real houses.

No, no, I just mean like...

They were people who worked on the show as houses.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

Like, they were set up and then filmed.

They had hidden cameras.

This is a crazy thing.

There was a person in the ceiling.

Live mixing.

You told me that.

The house was full of cameras.

But yeah, Smith told us.

When he came for...

Have you been paying attention to...

That's right.

He just came to Petal Crypto and NFTs,

but we all just wanted to talk about the wanking plumbers.

We all just laughed at him about buying a picture of a monkey.

Yeah, for a scene amount of money.

But he said somebody was...

Because there were so many cameras throughout the house,

and they had to follow them.

Yep.

It was all wired.

Someone was sitting in a stinking...

And some of you know how hot it gets in a ceiling space,

and some guys up there live mixing.

Can you imagine being in the roof of a house,

flicking to camera four,

and the laundry,

and some guys got some dirty snickers out of some...

And then like, are you allowed to have a wank?

Because it sinks round upon.

Because sometimes when you see it,

you're like, oh, I might have one of those.

I might have myself one of those.

Now, if the live mix is,

but you're having a jerk...

Like a sympathy spew.

Like a sympathy spew of crying at a funeral

ever because they're contagious.

And when you see someone having a wank,

you're like, actually, I could go one of those.

Oh, wow.

That was a lot of someone one of those.

That was today, at least.

But you know, it seems wrong

that you're targeting someone

on the job playing with themselves.

You shouldn't be playing.

And you're on the job playing with yourself.

Like, that's hypocritical.

It's almost...

It's almost worse because you're in the roof.

Yeah.

What about target on target,

and the person is...

In fact, this rings about.

Jeremy Wells do this eating media lunch once.

Tiger on target,

and it was a people filming target,

and the guy was watching someone have a wank,

and he was having a wank.

And they were watching it.

Having a wank.

Target on target.

I think, God damn, if...

If it's not an idea that's already been done,

it's a very good one.

What's that?

If it's not an idea that's already been done,

it's a very good one.

I think it's been done.

If it's got any media lunch written on it.

But I'll tell you,

that TV show was in folklore.

It's still in folklore,

and that happened, like,

I want to say, 20 years ago.

Oh, yeah.

I was like a kid, for sure.

Yeah.

I was a teenager watching someone.

Yes, it was.

Yeah.

I think it was when we first started working together,

it was the real heavy.

I always found that

the show was a bit on the nose.

Like, here's...

Like, you're putting hidden cameras,

you're going in to get a wax or whatever,

or someone's just going about their job,

and then you're piling on them.

It's like...

Yeah, but if someone's ejaculating into your socks,

it's going to be fair.

No, no, no, I'm not sticking up

with the masturbating plumbers.

I'm just sticking up with the people that were,

you know, just...

Someone must speak!

I'm the masturbating plumbers!

I'll be brave enough to do it.

I've been thinking about, you know,

like, the carpet layers,

and all they did was they laid the carpet,

but they were like,

ooh, I don't know about that.

It's not quite...

You know, it's just like...

Oh, yeah.

It was a bit of a piling.

It was a bit of a piling.

It was just, they also charged

half of what the nearest competitor did,

and it's like, what are you going to be paid for?

I just don't...

I don't think you can get away

with doing that these days.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, the...

I mean, the...

God, imagine if there were hidden cameras

in our studio.

Oh, there are.

We fucking filmed the whole time.

God, we say some things off here.

Yeah.

But...

Yeah, yet to have a wank in here.

But now that it's been mentioned...

Don't speak on behalf of me.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.