ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 22nd September 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Mac's rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

Get this right, get this for, get it.

Wrap your mind around this one.

I was going to go to Melbourne this weekend for a work thing.

Usually I'd fly over on the Saturday,

work the Sunday back on the Monday.

That was the plan.

The one TV show you haven't been cancelled from.

The one TV show?

And you haven't seen my tweets yet.

Australia to be on it.

I have to go to Australia.

New Zealand's turning back on me.

So that was the plan.

I'd go over and do that.

And then this friend of mine,

what I thought was a friend,

Fletch said that that was the weekend that you

and our mutual friend James.

You may have heard me mention.

Roommate James.

Roommate James.

A temporary flatmate.

That was the weekend that you guys were going to use

some flights you had to use up and go to Melbourne.

Then you invited me to come a day earlier

to join you and we could have a day in Melbourne

together and have a fun night.

Cocktails and we're going to...

We're going to go to Rice Queen.

Yeah, great, like Asian fusion.

Oh my gosh.

You'd love that.

Yeah, okay, Rice Queen's a restaurant.

Yeah.

Gotcha.

What did you think it was?

I was going to say where you're going to go to eat.

Hey.

Rice Queen's.

Now, Rice Queen's, we were eating,

but so I was like,

we're going on a trip together now.

It's going to be so much fun.

We'll go to the airport after the show.

Yeah, we're going to go to the airport.

We're all going to be together in the lounge.

You have a few cocktails

and then we're all going to go together onto the plane,

except this prick is going to turn left

when me and James turn right

because he's upgraded himself to business class.

I'll say this the second day in a row

I'll call you a cunt on the podcast.

No, so I get one upgrade...

I'm starting to actually believe you here.

No, I get one free upgrade per year

because of my Air New Zealand thingy.

Yeah.

And I put it in and it got accepted

and so I'm not going to turn it down

to sit with you.

Can you only use it trans-Tasman?

Why would you use it after...?

Yeah, it's a short haul.

Oh, okay.

So it's surely you'll go away at the end of the year

in one of your extravagant international cunt trips

and leave the rest...

and the ECT.

When he keeps asking us to transfer him $5.

I have bugged an ECT.

You have bugged an ECT.

Yes, I got it.

They're finally going to name!

So you are going to be...

We're all in this together.

Yeah, I know, I know.

And you're going in business class.

We're all in this together.

It's richer than I am.

So we all did have seats like all next to each other

and then I put in this thing and I got accepted.

Yeah, and do you know what he's done

is he's left the fricking middle seat, no doubt.

And so we're going to have some

stinky ass strangers sitting there.

Yeah.

What would you do?

You wouldn't turn your back on.

And then though...

As a ForeverJade, I don't know what it's like

to be even offered an upgrade.

Yeah, ForeverJade.

ForeverJade.

But this guy, he's going to be drunker.

That's the lowest tier of our local Airlines loyalty program.

Yeah.

We're going to get to Melbourne Airport.

Then me and James are going to have to deal with your ass

because you're going to be four more Champagnes deep.

I'm not paying on the plane

for extra Champagnes down in the bloody Cadillac class.

You have to preload.

You have to preload, bro.

You could always think a bottle of Jim Beams on.

I could do this.

I hear that's what they do on economy.

Think about Jim Beams.

Jim Beams.

And Cheryl's John Keyes.

Yeah.

Why are you pluralizing Jim Beams?

And then right, so here's how I am as a generous traveler.

As part of me going over for work,

I get a private vehicle to pick me up

and take me to my hotel.

I run the company I'm working for and said,

I'm arriving a day early with my friends,

happy to get an Uber.

And they said, no, no, no.

We'll still get a car to just pick you up

and take you where you guys need to go.

I'm sharing my fortune here with you.

And yet he's leaving us to just...

You are forgetting a giant part of the story

that you are cock-blocking my entire Friday.

I am cock-blocking him.

Because I have nowhere to stay on Friday.

And if I'm not hanging up with my brother till the next day.

And he lives quite far from where we're going to be hanging.

So I was like, Fletch,

can you just make your room a twin room

and I'll just crash with you?

So now he gets...

He gets no hanky-panky.

Because I'm going to be there.

So again, very generous.

Very generous.

Also, like...

You know, I'm allowed to take lovers.

I mean, this could be the weekend.

This could be the freaking weekend.

What if twin beads together three-way

or two individual...

I would jam the twins.

Jam the twins.

One by bed.

What if that twins?

What if that twins?

Take some twins.

And I'll be jamming the twins.

Jamming the twins.

Jamming the twins on the jammed twins.

On the jammed twins.

I mean, I was not...

Even in the family.

I was not upset about it

because Friday's going to be

an absolute hot mess of a night.

So there's nothing that's going to be happening.

We're going to be drinking from lunchtime

to whatever time.

That's...

Lunchtime to what?

In Melbourne.

How many hours a Monday?

Well, last time we went to Melbourne...

Fletch will make it to 5.30

and he'll be like,

well, guys, you know,

I've got to get to bed at least now.

Last time Fletch and I went to Melbourne together,

we went home at about 12.30 midnight

after working a Friday morning.

Wow.

Which is 2 a.m. in New Zealand time.

We did well.

We did real good.

A little bit.

Nah.

Okay.

Born Alan Smith.

You're a normal person.

Yeah, good boys.

We're good boys.

Did you have a sherbet?

No, we had lots of cocktails.

Lots of cocktails.

And espresso martinis.

Yeah.

But I think you've seen this.

I find it so hot with Australia.

It's only two hours difference.

It's only three.

But you know it so much.

So we're coming home at its daylight savings.

Yeah, yeah.

Two hours and daylight savings.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Two hours and daylight savings.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Two hours and daylight savings.

Yeah.

Two hours and daylight savings.

Yeah.

Daylight savings is one hour, but it'll take you at least a week to adjust.

Oh, well.

Well, it's gonna be fun.

What an awful problem to have.

Yes.

It's a real physical problem.

What an awful problem to have on a lovely weekend in Melbourne.

And I'm gonna come back and deal with an hour's time adjustment on Twype.

You know I got a shit in the corner, me.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.