ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 22nd October 2023

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Fleshwater and Haley's little bit of pod treat yourself to make cafe coffee with my Mac's rewards

Welcome to a little bit of pod

Sorry

It's nice. That was very professional. It was a classic nice. Yeah, I love a sneeze

Yeah, you know when you're about to you just look at the Sun and you're just like come on

I

Would be serious injury sneezing

When I drive if you get a couple of sneezes going if you got like a rattler in your nose

You're all guys are like poof poof poof. No, I don't

All guys and when I sneeze no, they say it's a 8 8 8 in a row and you don't feel good

Mmm, it does have pow. Anyway, I'll tell you what didn't feel good yesterday. I was raged at

I want to say I'm surprised it's taken this long. I want to say myth level rage whoa

From a random stranger. Oh my god. We're saying they were on myth. I'm just saying it was that kind of

It was me it was just rage and I've never really

What did you do cuz you can't be such a pain in the balls?

Sorry, what one of your many endearing qualities?

I'm the victim here, but already you're blaming me. Did you push them over where you like get on my fucking way?

I'm walking here. He walks at the swift

No, I haven't shushed a baby for ages. Did you walk past the kid and go like

It's always swimming. Did you call someone's cat like a pov?

I

How embarrassing.

Oh yeah.

So I went swimming yesterday and normally it's not too busy

at the pool.

Maybe when I go there's maybe three or four people.

Cause you're in the middle of the day.

You get your own lane.

Maybe you share a lane.

But yesterday when I went to the pool, very busy.

There was at least two to three people in each lane.

Maybe everyone's getting ready

for the week-bix kids triath.

That's long.

It could be there.

Totally.

The most important thing is trying.

Leaving their office job early and getting in some lanes.

I wouldn't train for that either.

Everyone gets a medal.

I know they do.

They do.

Why train?

They do.

But so I normally go in the fast lane.

I'm not saying I'm like, who's the swimmer?

Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps.

Ian Fleming.

Ian Thorpe.

Ian Thorpe.

The Thorpeeda.

I'm not saying I'm the Thorpeeda.

I'm saying you're Danion Loder.

I'm not Danion Loder from the 90s.

How many kids do you reckon will call Danion after?

Danion Loder.

Danion Loder.

So I mean he's lovely.

If you are approximately 26 to down to about 20 and you're

Danion, you're 100% named after a New Zealand gold

middleist, Danion Loder.

100% he's a lovely man.

Yeah.

It's like if your name's Barbara and you were born after the Olympics,

you were named after Kendall.

And that's embarrassing for you because she had that flip out

at Maddie McClane on Celebrity Shrooja Island.

She really showed herself up.

She really did.

Do you reckon there are going to be a lot of Usains or bolts?

Yes.

Right?

Fast people.

Yeah, lots of riches after Richie McCaw.

You always assess the lane when you're about to jump in.

Because you're like, where do I fit in?

Where do I fit in here?

I normally go on the fast lane, but if there were faster

swimmers, I wouldn't.

You'd pop into medium.

I'd just pop in.

And then people kind of adjust.

Like you could be swimming and if some really fast people jumped

in the lane, you'd just get out of their way,

either let them pass or you'd go on the other lane.

Or you're getting a bit tuckered out.

Yeah.

But I would describe someone in this lane

as Vaughn and as Jimny on the motorway

in the fast lane going 80.

Dude, dude.

I tried a video at the other day,

but it was too dangerous because I was driving.

We were coming onto the on-ramp we go on to.

And I was behind like four cars.

They were all nose to nose.

Right up, bloody Jimny Smiths.

I was going the speed limit.

You were going the middle.

There's a speed limit.

No, you were kissing below 80, mate.

You were under.

Well, it's an 80.

It's an 80K zone.

But it's one of those 80s.

It's not really an 80.

It's not really an 80.

Fuck you if you're up my ass.

There was a train.

I'm always up there and I'll just overtake him on the left.

To make a point.

There was like four of us.

And oh my God.

So anyway, this guy Vaughn is going 80

and his boardies in the fast lane.

And I'm like resistance there.

I'm like, whatever, that's fine.

I'm not judging.

You've just popped into the wrong lane.

I'm just like, yeah, probably.

But I'm like, well, he'll get out of the way.

I'm going to jump in and I'm going to start.

So I swim up and he's coming back.

And then it gets to maybe three quarters of the way

down the pond.

I'm just going to quickly overtake him.

You're lapping him.

I'm going to lap him.

I'm going to do a turn.

And that's going to kind of signal like it does to any swimmer

that, hey, either wait and let people go or whatever.

And then I get in the medium speed.

Get in the medium.

Exactly.

It's just kind of the etiquette.

Everyone that swims knows.

Right.

And I get to the end just as he's about to turn and then he

jumps up out of the water and I'll move away from the mic

and says, fuck, this always happens to me.

Oh, God.

And I'm just like, we'll get out of the fast landing.

You're fucking.

And it reverberates around the time.

I've got like stars from yelling.

I can see stars and yelling that.

And I have never heard that much rage.

Why was he so angry?

He was so worked up.

And I was just like, and I kind of get up and just look at him.

And he's just like, and I'm just like, oh, well, fucking,

then I just push him.

Did you look at him like what?

Like, oh, my God.

Or like, calm the fire.

Your bar is just shocked and also like, calm the fuck down, dude.

Strangers don't yell at other strangers.

I don't know if it was really me or it was he was disappointed.

He wasn't swimming fast enough.

Like, why does he angry himself?

Why does this keep happening to me?

I don't know, because you're swimming in the fast lane.

And you have really fishy parents.

I must have moved.

But I was just like, and then you could kind of see people around

the pool looking like, what did you do to that man?

I was like, so what happened?

Well, I just pushed off and kept swimming.

You're good for you.

And and then I think he stayed there.

And then when I came back and turned, I could just hear

in my ear before I went back under.

Sorry about that, mate.

I realized he'd flipped off.

But he stayed in the line.

No, no, no.

And so I was like, well, we will meet again.

And sure enough, as I came up to lap him, he stayed at that.

So I think I ended up lapping him.

Maybe there were three or four times where he just waited.

He just waited at the end.

And I was like, OK, well, he's obviously calmed down a bit.

And I was like, oh, fuck.

And then so I did.

I just only I was only doing OK.

So he got up, I sat in the spa pool and then he finished.

And I was like, oh, he's he's going to leave.

I'm like, I'll just wait for him to leave

because I don't want to run in. Oh, God, no.

And then he came up to me and he said, were you the guy in the line?

And I was like, yeah.

And he's like, sorry about that, mate.

And I was like, what the OK?

Why is he now confronting Tony?

Yeah, just the once was enough.

And I had to bite my tongue and, you know, like, oh, you know,

it's OK if people pass you, man, like to a growing adult.

And then I was just like, have a good day, man.

He's like, yeah, OK, you too.

And I was just like, Jesus Christ, interaction.

I'm not good with those.

I don't I don't I don't like it.

I don't want an interaction with people.

Yeah, you've behaved like a loser.

I don't need to.

I'm happy just having my spa now.

I know don't come up to me and extend this awkward interaction.

Not because I was so weird.

I don't know what to do here.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Weird, weird as a regular.

I don't really seen him before.

No, do you think?

Because sometimes when I pass people who are in the right lane

in the fast lane driving and I have to pass on the left

because I will not be held up.

Yeah, sometimes I just wonder if it's like an ignorance thing.

Like they don't know.

They're not aware of that.

That's the way that this works is slowest on the left,

fastest on the right.

Maybe he just didn't know the lanes were speed.

But don't they have signs?

Signs. Yeah, they're fast, medium.

I remember a guy rage because I was biking with my friend

on the bike on a cycle lane and I overtook this guy

on like a mountain bike who's like dawdling.

And he raged as well.

My friend was like, do you think I rage at you for passing him?

What did he say?

Trail behind.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

It's not a race.

It's like people will be faster and people will be slower than you.

It's OK. It's OK.

Excerpt is not. You fucking slow loser.

Get the fuck out of the way.

You're a slow loser.

Get the fuck out of my way.

I kind of like that this guy apologised.

He obviously really flipped out.

He's obviously got an explosive temper or something.

Or that he could just be having the worst day of his life.

You know, like, I don't know what's going on there.

I wouldn't go swimming on the worst day of my life.

I don't think I'd find the time for a swim.

You might be freestyling and just never turn your head.

Do you know, like, if you're like, oh, no, well, the news is in.

Mum's dead.

I'll go do my house is burnt down.

I'll go do a couple of days.

It's actually quite like I find it quite like misery.

It walks goes well with a walk, not a swim.

Yeah. Swim is a joy.

I disagree. It's no swimming like lanes.

You get in a bit of a zone and it's actually quite like almost

like therapeutic therapeutics.

The word I'm looking for. It's active. Right.

It's active, relaxing.

It's active, relaxing. It's good.

Active, relaxing the tempo you're going.

Yeah. Do you know what?

I swear, my case so much faster than I normally do.

You were showing.

He's making a point.

I'm going to let this motherfucker making a point.

Oh, my God, you're a nightmare.

Good God.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.