ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 21st September 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network.

Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

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Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod and today, Vaughn, you're in Wellington.

Capital City.

My favourite place.

You know who they speak of fondly down here?

Haley Sproul.

Not Haley Sproul.

I haven't heard the name yet.

Tried with Beautiful.

Haven't heard the name once.

Last time it was in Arangayura though.

They did have a plaque up saying birthplace and very important.

Secret birthplace.

Haley James Sproul.

Who do they speak highly of in Wellington?

Public servants.

Oh yeah they do.

They are all public servants.

They are all public servants.

They all speak highly of themselves because they don't want their heads on the chopping

block.

Yeah.

If the government changes, they're like, not us.

Leave me be.

I know I'm in Wellington because my auntie is getting a QSM, the Queen's Service Medal

for services to Netball.

You don't need to go to this.

Why are you doing this?

She asked me if I would like one of her tickets as a representative of my father's side of

the family.

My father will be there.

And she's got two brothers, Uncle Roger and Ian, who's my father.

And her name's Sylvia.

Do you have an Uncle Roger?

I've got an Uncle Roger.

It reminds me of that Chinese guy who does the Uncle Roger reviews.

Oh yeah.

He reviews Asian cooking.

Yeah.

Uncle Roger.

My Uncle Roger doesn't have nearly the expansive palate of that culinary delight.

Absolutely not.

Sometimes you know if the bread's too brown, it's a bit too spicy.

He's got a bit of white bread energy.

What do you call these?

It's got linseed?

Yeah, seeds.

Oh shit, they burn.

They burn on the way down.

So yeah, I'm in Wellington to go to the QSM instrument.

I wonder why you...

I just don't see the point of this.

Dad could have gone.

That's a very bright one.

Yeah, it's until it doesn't have any kids.

Netball's kind of been a challenge.

It's a proud moment.

You can tell us how it works for when we all get ours.

For services to entertainment.

You have to not be nominated.

I've learnt this.

There was a nomination process.

You want a nomination?

Nah.

Nah.

Nah.

So what do you have to go to events and stuff?

Well, I'm going to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A couple of events today at Government House.

I'm off to Government House for a suit and everything.

Oh God, you're going to be a nosy prick, aren't you?

You're going to be looking around everywhere.

You're wearing a suit?

Yeah, I'm wearing a suit.

For when you look good in a suit.

I'm wearing a suit and a tie.

I tried on some suits.

They're the night.

Oh God.

That's a roll of the dice, isn't it?

Yeah.

Why I bought so many suits at my skinniest, I don't know.

I think I was very pleased with how I looked in a suit.

I always do this.

This is the new me.

This is the me.

I will be forever.

Yeah, I'm going really well at the moment.

I'm eating well.

I'm training.

I picked up a pair of pants.

I said 82 on it.

And I said, that'll be ambitious.

And I think I got about 70% of the way up to the push.

So 82 wasn't happening.

Yeah.

82 is a probably your big dick that stops it going all the way up.

Huge dick.

Massive dumper.

Did you try to tuck it?

Because your dick, your massive up just always blocks it.

It was weighing down.

He used to do a tuck and I can still see that.

Yeah.

Thanks guys.

I needed that because it definitely wasn't my gunt.

The pants would not go over.

And then found the suit that we wore to a wedding.

The wedding we went to on April.

May.

May.

And Wanaka.

And Wanaka.

And I had not dry cleaned that.

That had mud around the.

Oh, Vorn.

But the great thing was that it had been so long and we've been running a dehumidifier

in our wardrobe since we found a tiny bit of mold at the back.

The mud was so dry it just like literally flaked off.

Was this the wedding in which you punched yourself in the jaw?

It was the wedding.

Dental surgery.

Felt off the bus completely sober and punched myself in the face and needed dental work afterwards.

But yeah, that still fits, which is good.

So you're going to a government house.

Correct.

You're going to a government house for a big ceremony with muddy suit pants.

I wiped them with the Xolo.

I got a new dishcloth out from under the sink because the one that I was going to use, I

just wiped a whole lot of grease down with.

So I didn't want the greasy mark on the pants.

Pants, pants, pants.

And yeah, I'm ready to go.

And I don't know what's going on in the house like.

Have you ever been there?

Yeah, I have.

I've had dinner there once.

It was part of a Shakespeare thing and I was representing because I was the winner of the

Jones Award for Outstanding Performance.

It's Richard the Third.

What?

Richard the Third?

It was a revered performance.

But there's a bloke.

I've told you this before.

Richard the Third usually has, is, um, they call him.

Excuse me.

Don't say it was a, he's a bloke.

We're not sure of the preferred pronouns.

We actually don't know.

Long dead.

He could not have been a bloke.

But remember that Richard the Third had very, um, deformed features.

Famously a with an arm and a hump.

That's the one they found buried under a car park.

Yes they did.

In my Richard the Third had a soar knee.

I wasn't committed to the physical performance.

All right.

I wanted the more the intellectual side of Richard.

Yeah, right.

So I went there.

It's nice.

Yeah.

That's a good Richard you've got there.

Yeah.

It's a bit eager.

Should I do this at Government House today?

Yeah.

Test not the nooblest man than Finevalst.

Leading.

Oh my God.

You're poor fucking auntie.

I know.

She's going to be so embarrassed.

She's going to be like, oh my God.

I chose this cock.

I'm here for my Shakespearean award.

Oh God.

Yeah.

So anyway.

And I'm here tomorrow too.

Because I was like, it's late.

Yeah.

The last part of it's late.

I was like, I'll fucking sit with the weekend and eat a lot of meat tomorrow night.

It's my best mate.

Vaughn bought these two days away and then told Ross.

Oh no.

And I tell you what, Ross was not happy about it.

You're in trouble.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do, you know?

Yeah.

We miss you dearly.

Yeah.

Oh guys.

You know?

Yeah.

It's like I'm there with you guys.

And spirit, body and massive.

Bleep that.

Bleep that.

Bleep that.

Bleep that.

Not happy with it.

Not happy with it.

It's the right way she says it.

Bleep that.

Bleep that.

I shouldn't have grabbed it.

It's tiny by the way.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.