ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 19th September 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network.

Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to Mccaffay coffee with my Macca's rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

Hello.

My oldest daughter, these two will tell you, my oldest daughter's on camp.

I'm watching her every move on the phone.

You are, you were like, oh my gosh, she's just past brewery.

Yeah, I was watching her.

You were like, oh, she hasn't message this morning yet.

She's not on the fucking Ukrainian front line.

Yeah, exactly.

She's okay.

Also, like very soon she's going to come of the age you cannot track her, but comes

a problem that's an invasion of privacy.

No, I'll always be able to track her.

No, I'll always track her.

I'll always track her.

If I have the phone bill I'm tracking her whereabouts.

She's on Fine Friends.

Yes.

So at what age do you come off Fine Friends?

So you always sound Fine Friends.

15.

15.

I would have said like when they-

She's on a family plan.

I would have said like-

Yeah, but I know what I was up to at 15.

15.

No, not 15.

15.

You've got to go.

You can't.

She's her own woman at that point.

She's been being tracked when like-

I was.

I had an older brother and he-

He was a nark.

He was a narky investigator.

Yeah.

He's always like trying to nark on me, so I had it, but without the technology.

But she's on, um, she's on camp.

Yeah.

And we got sent the timetable yesterday.

It's a sports camp, isn't it?

It's a sports camp.

They just play sports like all day long.

And then we got sent the timetable.

Now the timetable had something on it that I had questions about.

Okay.

What is quality living?

Because there's like sports, breakfast, cleaning duties, all of this stuff, which is good.

Yeah.

You know, you've got to learn to do all this stuff.

Camps are always so much fun.

I loved camps.

Okay.

I hated them.

Until I got there and then I had fun reluctantly.

Yeah, right.

You know?

For example, they arrived yesterday, opening ceremony, 3 o'clock, athletics, 4 o'clock,

swimming and kayaking, 5 o'clock, dinner, 6.30, scramble in the gym, which looks-

Scramble?

So they put this giant like curtain up in the middle.

You can't see who's on the other side of you.

They're throwing balls and all that stuff, and when the whistle goes, you stop.

And whoever's team has the less balls, so you've thrown more over, you get the point.

Sounds like a fun game.

Sounds like a fun game.

I did scramble.

And then quality living in the lecture theatre at 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock, supper and bed.

I was like, what the fuck is quality living?

I was embedded at the quality living.

I went to bed at 8, 10, 15 last night.

Messaged me last night at quarter past 10, so I didn't grow a night.

Go to bed.

I've been asleep for like an hour and a half.

Oh my God.

I know.

Good night.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Wait, quality living.

Is that like hygiene?

That's what I was thinking.

They're of the age.

Period style.

Period style.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I said, in the brochure it says-

Deodorant.

Quality living.

Please, Acne.

And you've got quality living for an hour on Monday.

Oh, quality living morning session on Tuesday, which is today.

Wednesday quality living falls in the morning again for a daily vid.

So we're getting quality life every day.

I'm not sure on Thursday because that's the segment.

I said, what is quality living?

And Andy replies, it's religious videos.

Listening to people talk about God and then we get quizzed on God.

Now, you do you.

But I did not sign-

That's the point.

I did not sign-

Yeah.

This was never mentioned.

What if like, what if a kid goes who's of a non-Christian denomination of faith?

It was never mentioned.

But this is a school camp, right?

It's a public school.

Oh, weird.

So they're not bound by any religion.

No, it's a religious camp though.

It is a religion.

It's a Christian camp.

They'll be getting a discount for the camp.

But this is like a big-

Lots of different schools are there.

It's not just their school.

Yeah, all right.

This meeting and it's almost like this is what this school-

This camp constantly does throughout the year.

It just takes in a whole lot of different schools.

Isn't it up to the parents to decide what they teach their kids about religion?

And then as you're older, you get to make your own decisions about it.

Imagine if you went like, yeah, this is like, you're going and-

As far as I can see, compulsory.

Imagine if they were doing the same thing with sex ed.

Yeah, I know.

And then you get there and it's like, all right, kids, your parents aren't able to teach you about sex.

Yeah, yeah.

They should've went at the fan.

Or it's an hour of not doing gnaws.

What she learned about Jesus.

Well, I said Jesus.

I said Jesus.

Did you not hear me say an hour of doing gnaws?

An hour of doing gnaws.

He doesn't like thinking about his kids doing gnaws.

I don't know who gnaws.

You don't do a gnaws at a lever.

No, definitely not.

You shouldn't do it at the age.

No, yeah, that's right.

I said Jesus, it's an hour every time.

You don't have to get involved in that.

We didn't know that was part of that.

And Indy said, ha, ha, ha.

I said, what about the kids that aren't Christian?

And she said, none of the kids that have gone from school are Christian

because one of us is going to get picked out and have to represent the school in this Jesus quiz.

Oh, no.

And everybody's just like, not me, not me, not me.

And I'm competitive.

Let's practice.

Let's practice.

Okay.

How many nails held Jesus on the cross?

Two.

Oh, no, four.

Two through the feet.

Two through the hands.

I think the feet hit two.

Was it totally three?

I don't actually know the answer.

One, two, three.

You're the Catholic.

Question.

If it was nowadays, do you reckon they would have done, I was going to say cable ties.

Cable ties worth liquid nails.

Yeah.

And then they would have cut the cable ties.

Cheaper.

Cheaper.

Doesn't really send the message as much as driving a...

Stake through someone.

Stay in the palm of the hand.

Next question.

Yep.

What was Jesus' natural hair color before he got highlights?

I would say given Jesus' geographical location and what I know about black people from the

area would have been a very dark hair color.

Dark brown.

Yeah.

Very, very, very dark brown.

But you were right.

The highlights pop.

My God.

He got highlights in low lights and just a soft belly arch.

Yeah.

And it looks so nice.

Teamed up with the beard.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm thinking quite a few of my boxes, the stereotypical image of Jesus.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

You give us a question, Vaughn.

Oh.

Who parted the Red Sea?

Jesus.

I mean, I've got a lot of problems with this.

It's just a really low tide.

I'm calling King's Spring Low Tide.

Was it a tsunami?

No, it was a Spring Low Tide, I reckon.

Okay, right.

But the parting.

I thought it was Jesus.

No, no, it was Moses.

Abraham.

Moses says.

Moses.

I don't know.

I've never read the Bible.

You know why?

It's because we didn't go to Christian camp.

Any complaints?

Vaughn said him online.

Also, she says, because then I threw another kid under the bus.

Chase, who's, we're friends of his parents, who's there.

I said, Chase will do the Jesus quiz.

His mom said he loves Jesus.

And she's like, okay, I'm going to put this thing down.

I was like, uh-oh.

Also, we have to, before we eat, we have to hold hands and pray.

They're doing grace.

They're doing the whole grace.

I said, what the fuck?

Excuse me.

Excuse my language.

And then I messaged you last night saying, how is it going, Indiana?

Child of Christ.

And she didn't reply specifically to that.

But a quarter past that she said, going to bed.

And then this morning I said, good morning, Indiana.

How was your sleep?

Did you sleep well in the light of the Lord?

Amen.

Oh my God.

You suck as to fuck.

I'm not getting anything back.

You shit.

She's going to come back and say, God bless.

And you'll be like, well, now I've done it.

God bless indeed.

God bless indeed.

Man, you know what?

I don't give a shit what religion anyone is, to be honest.

You do whatever you want.

You probably give a shit about your kids once.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It's just weird that this was not before.

It was not before morning.

Interesting.

God bless.

It's a good option.

God bless you, everyone.

God bless, yes.

God bless.

God bless.

God bless.

Buddha bless.

Allah bless.

Bless.

Shinto bless.

Bless you.

Namaste.

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