ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 18th October 2023

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Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

I've been jamming a new jingle for the pod, what do we think?

So you say welcome to A Little Bit of Pod and we go

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

There's shakes of the head in the producer's boot.

Producer Jared. Good morning.

Good morning.

Well, good non-specific time because somebody could be listening to this

in the pan.

Yeah, that's good for you.

Go from you.

That's my bad.

Thank you.

I recommend over over here.

Yeah.

I know.

Now, you want to talk about your dinner?

Yeah.

So last week, the Midi and I attended a lovely comedy show

presented by yours truly, Haley Spru.

Yeah, that's me.

But beforehand, we went to...

It was your family who talked about this, your first ever comedy show.

Did it disappoint?

No.

Really nice.

You get enough of the shit it worked that way.

Yeah.

Like, I'd heard a couple of the stories before, but it was fine.

It was fine.

Yeah.

I'm running out of stories now.

It was like, really enjoyed it.

The Midi was cracking up the whole time.

I was laughing.

It was good.

Oh, wait.

So she was cracking up, but you were only laughing.

Well, it's more a show.

It's definitely more aimed towards women.

Yeah, sure.

And I understand it.

Jared famously refuses to consider all women's point of view.

I know exactly.

I knew he wouldn't enjoy it for that reason.

It's a straight up chauvinist.

But an honest chauvinist.

Oh, yeah.

I like it.

I like it.

Owns it.

So this chauvinistic pig and his messes went out to, I'm going to say it, Fat Pukkus,

which is our favorite burger place.

Fat Pukkus.

I've never heard of Fat Pukkus.

They do smash boogers and the like.

It's delightful.

Now, smash burger is, are they no buns?

No, no, no.

They're no buns.

They just squash the patty on the grill.

It's when they go like that on the grill and it goes all gnarly and charred.

Really good.

Oh, yum.

Yeah.

We had up the spot a lot on Uber Eats, but this was the first time we traveled to it.

Good Lord.

There are loaded fries with jalapeños on them.

Jalapeños.

Yeah, jalapeños.

I love jalapeños.

I know.

So we placed our burger order, our fry order, our cocktail order, which I'll get back to

shortly, and a bird fluent.

Oh, okay.

Oh.

Yeah.

Birds are so birdy.

It was a birdie where we went out for breakfast at the back of the restaurant.

The birdie snuck in the door while it was open and flown right to the back.

Oh.

Fuck off, bird.

Fucking sparrows.

Yeah.

We were attacked.

What?

Yeah.

The bird, like, dive bombed us multiple times trying to get our chips out of our fingers

or our chip.

Oh, my God.

Was it a sparrows?

Yes.

One of those little brown, mousy-looking sparrows.

Yeah, fucking sparrows.

Hey, bastards.

Yeah, they're so hungry and needy.

Like, it fluttered.

It's wings fluttered my face.

Oh.

Oh, these burgers look good.

I know I'm just having a look, but I'm hot.

You've lost them.

I'm just having a look.

They're like toasted sandwiches.

Pointing straight.

Cocktails.

Oh, my God.

What the hell?

So what did you do with the bird?

Did you swat it away?

This is how bird flu starts.

I didn't connect for the Peter fans.

Fuck that.

It came for you.

You were defending yourself.

Yeah.

I swatted the menu at it a few times.

Some of the other tables were, like, clapping at it.

One of the waitresses tried to stomp on it.

We got him.

We got him.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

It was wild.

Wow.

And then they've got scared and flew away and we enjoyed our meal and cocktails and

pees.

Friend of ours, James.

Lovely.

Gay James.

Gay James.

He's more to him than a sexuality.

No, I know, but I've seen this before.

You know many straight James.

How many Jameses don't you know?

That's the question.

That's a real fucking question.

The structure of the question itself is where there's mystery.

I want an answer.

How many Jameses don't you know?

But so James is petrified of birds.

So we've been out at restaurants or bars before with friends.

I just screech at it.

And he gets, like, we was in Queenstown, a group of us, eating Thurgburger on the steps.

Yum.

And the ducks.

He was beside himself.

Beside himself.

They had to run away.

But he's so tough and mask.

Yeah, he's such a mask bristly guy.

I know.

I know.

Just hates it.

But I know quite a few people that are just scared of birds.

My grass is terrified of birds.

It's unpredictable.

We took him for a surprise birthday to one of those enclosed avarice.

That's not fucking funny.

What?

Still got the earring?

Yeah.

Let me check.

Is it in the gay ear?

No, we were trying to work with the gay ear or not.

He's straight, obviously.

But what ear he's got in it?

I think his right ear.

Because he got it done and then everyone was like, and then that's the gay ear.

So he just got the other ear done.

Oh, he just went by.

Fair enough.

I've got a little mole on my right earlobe.

So I didn't have my ears pierced.

But everyone at school was like, you got the gay ear.

Yeah, because it's left looking at you.

You're right ear.

Oh, great.

I'm just looking at it.

That's the gay ear.

No earring anymore.

No earring.

Okay.

I think sometimes we need to explain the gay earring thing.

Because a lot of people, maybe internationally, it wasn't the thing.

But in the 90s and early 2000s in New Zealand, if a guy got his ear pierced,

just one of them, there was always this thing that one of the ears being pierced

was to let homosexuals know that you were homosexual in the day

where that sort of thing wasn't spoken about.

So New York Times, this is archived from 1991.

Wow.

Gay men followed, often wearing a single piece of jewelry in the right ear

to indicate sexual preference.

Because this was pre-apps, when it was a lot of undergrounds.

Yeah, totally.

You know, they had wives, girlfriends.

You try to suck off one guy that was giving you the fem energy

and he tries to fight you and you're like,

oh, okay, there's a little confusion here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's the earring.

It's the gay earring.

And he's like, wait a minute, what are you saying?

And then you educate him at the time.

Once he gets out and everybody knows.

Now we know it's so outwardly gay.

I'm sure there's sort of been a thing in America too, the gay ear.

Oh, totally.

It must be there.

Yeah, the gay ear, man.

Because didn't gay kin, earring kin have a gay ear?

He had both.

So in the late 70s, it became common for men to secretly communicate

their sexuality by wearing the earring in the right ear.

And by the 90s, I guess people were like, we know now.

If there's any time for pirates.

Yeah, they had to switch to the left.

Get both done, multiple ears.

Even like so many posts like, you know, that our website Quora,

the question, you know, which earring is the gay.

Like people asking that recently.

Just pierce any old ear, it doesn't matter.

Exactly, exactly.

A great story, Jared.

And it's led us into a really great debate about, you know,

being out and proud.

Congratulations on coming out.

Is that what we discussed here?

No, he didn't come out.

Shit, the midi is going to be fucking wild about that.

Or she could be supportive of it.

Or she could love it.

Yeah, I said to Aaron the other day that he was,

I was open to him taking a male lover and he didn't respond.

It was because after I'd seen that body soldier,

I was like, I just need to get him to say,

I'm okay with you taking a female lover.

I opened the discussion by saying,

if you ever wanted to date a man, I'd be okay with that.

Yeah, got you.

So he would return, but he didn't return the favor.

So he's still waiting on the response.

Plugging away at that one.

Then we'll be the other way around.

That's the guys.

Well, she never threw some.

Yeah, I know that.

I'm just, he's just so happy with just me.

Yeah.

And me also am just happy also, just with him.

Aaron would tear me in half.

He would, man.

He would.

He would.

He would.

He would.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.