ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th October 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

Fleshwater and Haley's Little Bit of Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Mac's rewards.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.

Now, beautiful and lovely and smart,

and I've started with beautiful and I apologise for that,

but it's the first thing I saw when I looked at her.

Beautiful producer, Shannon.

Who's also smart and intelligent and incredibly creative.

Yeah.

Got a bit of a kerfuffle yesterday

when you were out shopping in the wild.

You've had to go old stuff.

Yeah, I felt like a real Gen Z.

Like, coming home from work daily,

I'll sometimes chuck some maps on.

Like, I'm not the most traditional advice.

But do you know where you live?

No, Aaron does this.

Yeah.

Whenever Aaron goes he maps,

just in case there's like a bit of a root or something.

It's good for traffic,

because then you get the line traffic.

Yes.

And the road works.

You do this two ways.

Yeah, I do it.

I just plug it in and I'll be like,

home and it'll give me an estimate.

I don't know.

And then I'll know if it's like,

and I like reporting potholes.

All of it.

On ways.

In ways.

I report anything on the side of the road,

hazards, et cetera.

Yeah, ways is good.

But you see,

I'd love to report the guy in the gym,

who seems a little bit obsessed with the centre's console,

rather than watching the road in front of him,

who seems to be reporting things.

I've reported that guy.

I'd like to report the gym,

that's driving slowly in the fast lane.

I haven't taken this bitch every day still.

I know.

He's so slow.

Every day.

Anyway.

You're using it for navigation,

time-saving purposes,

whereas Shannon's using it

because she still doesn't know where she lives.

Yeah, I just get lost so easily.

I like you so much, Shannon.

You are just full of surprises.

A lot of work going on behind the scenes

for our live show.

Yeah.

I know yesterday you were out

and you were both out and about, weren't you?

Yeah, Carl and I,

and we took our own cars

because the place we needed to go

was near her house.

So I was like...

No point coming back.

Yeah, don't worry, babes.

I've got this.

We pull up to the place we were going

and I said,

just so you know,

my phone's on 4%.

And...

Oh, no.

Do you have a charger in your car?

No, no, no.

Always have a charger in your car.

Always have a charger in the car.

Yeah.

I just...

I don't like charging my phone

overnight, either.

So when does it charge?

Not overnight?

I don't know.

I just like keeping around 30-ish percent.

What?

What?

No.

Fuck.

Yeah.

30 is as good as 3.

No.

I just...

I don't like to overdo her.

I feel like it's too much.

No.

She deserves to be full.

Also, iPhones now have a battery-saving

charging thing.

Yeah.

So if you turn that on...

But do you notice?

Do you notice?

Oh, my God.

This makes so much sense.

Whenever Shannon sends us screenshots

for things that we need to say...

Oh, yes.

...on air, it's always got the yellow

battery.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because she's nearly juiced.

Battery-saving mode.

I know.

Battery says she's gone to low battery

mode.

It drives everyone.

I know, Matt,

because I'll be sitting in bed

when my charge is there.

And I'll be like,

oh, my phone's on 10%

and I'll just stay sitting there.

This is how my grandad lived

about petrol in his car.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm like,

why would you drag around

all that excess weight?

Oh, you're going to burn off.

And there's petrol stations

bloody everywhere.

It's not that heavy.

If you're going...

It's heavy.

Bush.

It's not that heavy.

It takes really extra petrol

with you, though.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you're on 4%.

Yeah, I'm on 4%.

We do the shopping

all as well.

Phone's dead.

You're at the South Auckland.

Yes.

So Karwen goes,

follow me home.

I will get to near my house

and then all you need to

do is get from

where we were to,

like near my house.

She's like,

you know where you are.

Countdown's up there.

That's the supermarket you use.

Go home from Countdown.

And then as we're approaching

her street, she starts like

waving like a mad woman in her

review saying,

don't follow me from here.

Okay.

You're on your own.

He's your cue,

branch off.

So then I was like,

stunning.

But I was listening to music

and I was just,

lalala.

What are we listening to?

One Direction.

Okay.

I had my album

because I wanted to see these.

I run away.

You're about to get lost

because you didn't hit zero.

No.

Yeah.

Well, cause I listened to CDs

in the car.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

You fucking phone.

Get an aux cord.

Don't listen to CDs.

Fill up your car.

I can't.

I don't have the money anyway.

So I'm driving.

Fill up your car,

you're excused on

because that is insane at the

moment.

I'm going to,

hereby gift you my phone charger,

my car charger.

I'm giving it to you.

Oh yeah.

So I'm driving and then I was

like, oh,

I don't know where I am.

Like very quickly,

immediately lost.

And then I thought,

how long have you lived in

Auckland?

I'm from here.

Yeah.

I just wanted to reiterate.

It's always the people that

grow up here that are the most

useless things.

I don't even know

the suburbs that they grow up

up.

Yeah.

But then I thought when

people get lost in the forest,

they say, like, go left.

No, they don't.

Absolutely don't.

That's not a saying.

Absolutely not.

That's the shittest advice

because when you turn left,

your next left is another left

and then the next left

is another left.

And then you're back to

where you started.

Because then I thought,

if I just keep going left,

then if I'm wrong,

I'll be back.

So I can go right.

Oh, my God.

Now I'm just Googled

when lost in the forest

turn left.

Not a thing.

Stay put.

When you're left,

people can find you.

Why you followed water?

Because it goes down hell

and all water eventually.

No, don't light a fire.

Light a fire.

She leaned up over a

fucking waterfall.

He said,

follow water.

What?

It was terrifying.

But I just,

I didn't,

I was going to pull over

and just like,

maybe stand by my bonnet

and ask for help.

Oh, my God.

This does work

in Shannon's favour.

She's a real,

she'd get a bit of attention

on a bonnet.

When I say,

I set her up so well.

All she had to do

was drive straight

for maybe like 5K.

Cowan,

I trust that you did this.

You're the producer

of this show.

You wrangle us through

every single day.

I have no doubt

that you gave

fear instruction.

She had to turn once

and then turn

right onto the street

where she should know

she was.

Yes,

the thing is that

she wanted me to go

left then right.

I started going left,

left, left.

The old adage,

the old

in the forest turn

left, left.

Of course.

Of course.

As Bear Grylls has always said,

I'm Bear Grylls

and I always go left,

left, left, left,

left, left, left, left,

left, left, left, left,

left.

Then I'm home.

So what did you do?

You're lost.

Yeah, so I did two

lefts

and then I was panicking

because I was like,

if I hit four,

then I'm back to where

I started.

I did know that.

So I managed two lefts

and then I saw lots of cars

going one way

and I was like,

that feels like motorway

energy.

Oh my God.

Now you're going to a

different suburb.

No, I was like,

if I can find a motorway,

I know where I am.

If I can hit the southern,

I can go home.

Okay.

So then I just started

to follow all these extra

cars and then there was a

truck and I was like,

trucks go on the motorway.

She's just drifting along.

They always go on the motorway.

They never go off.

They never off the motorway.

So what I did is

I did a few lefts.

You're thinking of

trains and train tracks,

by the way.

She's done more lefts.

Yeah.

And then I found some

trucks and then I just

went with them

and then I found the motorway

and I got home.

You are such concern to me.

Migratory bird.

You just sort of

followed the big birds.

Yeah.

But then it was great

because I got home.

I was late home as well

because my flatmate

was waiting for me.

Right.

But there was Uber Eats

waiting for me.

All swell and she

made it to work today

and we are grateful.

Yay.

And if you're around there

this weekend,

lost and alone.

Yeah.

Dark and afraid.

Always remember.

Left, left, left,

left, left, left,

left, left,

left,

left,

left,

left,

until you get home.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.