ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 10th October 2023

the ZM podcast network. Fleshworn and Haley's little bit of pod treat

yourself to McCafe coffee with my mac's rewards. Welcome to a little bit of pod

and we've had to come back and do a warning haven't we again. This is a

common occurrence now I think we need to clean it up. The word the C word not the

bad C word. The chicken. Vaughn's incredible scream. But when you hear me

scream you'll be like warranted scream. I apologize to your to the listeners

earholes. Apologies to your earholes. A lot of sexy stuff. Yeah because we do talk

about cheating when you've caught a parent cheating so there are some wild

stories. I reckon in general you'll be alright put the kids in front of the TV

chuck a crank a window and you'll be alright. Oh god another one's just

a couple of comments. Should we do a text here to lead into the other texts.

Okay sure. About ten I walked into the kitchen and saw my dad and my mum's best

friend kissing up against the stove. They jumped apart and he told me not to

tell mum. He said it's an out of the secret. Naive me walked right to mum who

was in the dining room with the best friend's husband. That's right they were in the same house.

They were in the same house. The best friend's husband talking and I said hey mom I know

something you don't know. Dad said I'm not allowed to tell you and then I ran away

laughing. Meanwhile dad is just like shitting himself behind me. It wasn't

six months later I realised what I'd seen and I told them. Oh my god. Also a

little shit I hate mum. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. This is like I hate kids. Anyway that's

just the tip of the iceberg. Here's the rest of the little pod. Oh no I think you

just you go straight into the next thing. Oh no no no because you all do a show

sponsor surely. No the show sponsors it's taken care of. It doesn't take care of

itself but you say welcome to a little bit of pod. I said that at the start. Yeah

no but then the warning goes before that. No so you've made it what you've made it

really messy there. It's scrappy but I think it's okay. We'll survive. The ZM

podcast network. Fleshworn and Haley's little bit of pod. Treat yourself to

McCafe coffee with my Maccas rewards. Welcome to a little bit of pod and

today's little bit of pod extending our when you've caught a parent cheating.

Yeah so listen to the big pod and there's a fun and topic of when you

caught your parents cheating and then this is just the overflow because where

you on YouTube were like I could be an impressionable fan. I was like no way kids are

always kids are quiet. They move like a fucking maps through the house. They're

either stomping and screaming a mega big noise or they're like phantoms. Hi I'm

here behind you. Yeah hey dad what are you doing? Christ alive. I was acting as shit and all just came

out of me and he was like I was doing Carol from next door. Well that is the case

in some of these situations. Yes. Do you have a sponsor credit? No. Well the fuck

were you looking at the piece of paper like you were absolutely waiting for me to take a breath.

You were waiting for a breath but you had to pop a sponsor credit in there. No there's

no sponsor credit so you just get straight into it. I'm done with these pieces of paper.

My dad had an affair. The woman's husband phoned my mom to let her know.

My dad and the woman he had the affair with ended up getting married but my mom

and the husband also got together. Oh holy. Full swap there. That's hot. And how did they catch

them? Does it say how they caught them? They just they just caught them. They just caught them.

They just caught them. I caught my dad kissing my step sister.

He was around 40. She was 18. Fuck off. Sorry that came out too. They're gross.

They're married now. No. And have four kids. Yuck. Haley are you bringing your show to Tauronga?

Oh no. Come just to chat to you about that. Conservative Tauronga. Wait so this step.

Okay yeah right. So that wasn't there was no blood there. No blood. No no no no no no blood.

It's still creepy. It just is. No blood. Power dynamic. Oh that's no blood. When I was 15 I

found a dick pic on my dad's phone when we were in the car together. I reacted audibly.

I'm imagining. He grabbed the phone. Wait was it his dick? It was his dick. Okay.

He grabbed the phone, deleted the phone and begged me not to tell mom as she'd been

having dreams about him cheating on her. Well it turns out mom was having some sort of

premonition. Premonition. Because he had been fast forward five years it came out he was indeed

cheating. The worst part of all of this is the image of my father's erect penis permanently

Did they say if it was a good dick or not? No word on if their father's penis was a good dick.

No I didn't say their dad's erect dick and then ever telling. I'm surprised they told us that much.

I didn't even think about the erection. I'm really surprised anyone would admit to that.

Like I am too. That is traumatizing. I am too. My monk took me to a play date when I was eight

with my best friend her and my friend's dad left for ages while we were playing games.

We started to wonder what they were up to so we went into the bedroom to find them.

Both my mom and my best friend's dad were married at the time.

15 years later though they are still together and my old best friend is now my step-brother.

You gotta give it to him. Wow okay. Love's love you know. I mean crikey. When you find your

it's just a shame that it had to happen. You're starting with overlap. It's dangerous to start

with overlap. I'm 16. Just reading this ahead. I was about 16 and my father was a minister.

No that is a church leader. Him and the old lady were having a break. I was a black sheep of the

family so got home one night after clubbing and saw him and his mistress during the kumbaya.

So I threw a big rock through their window and split them up like two stuck dogs. Oh my god.

He's banging the mistress and they're like fuck you dad. Smash through a window. What are you

going to do tell me off. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to fucking tell mom. You mean big trouble. Probably

thought it was God so stopped. Yeah I would have written on the rock. I'm sorry. I'm always watching.

I made this right. God stop it. When I was 12 me and my mom went on holiday to see her friends.

My mom went out on the town while I stayed home with a babysitter. I was sleeping in my own room

but I missed mom so I went into her room to sleep on the top bunk. Oh no what is it. She got home

with her from her night out with another man and didn't realize I was on the top bunk. I've never

told anybody. Mama dad is still together 20 years later and I slept on the top bunk as my mom fucked

somebody.

You need to respect the levels. You have not respected the levels. That story needed that

sort of level abuse. We're going to have to redo that for the people's ears. Oh my god. I can't

Oh my god.

Jared just says that Mike needs therapy. He's not wrong. It piqued. Holy shit. She lay

quietly. Have you been on the top bunk when someone's just sleeping on the bottom bunk and

it moves? Horrible. Your mom is downstairs. Oh my god. Fucking. And your parents are still together.

Your parents are still together 20 years later. We are the only people she's ever told. We are the

only people she's ever told. That's incredible. I knew a friend of mine was staying at one of

those hostels. I might have been in Europe or somewhere and they were on the top bunk and the

guy on the bottom had a wank. Yeah, okay. He had a wank. It's not his mom. Fuck it. Someone is not

her dad. Oh my god. Holy. No, that's juicy. That's juicy. That's juicy. My sister found naked

photos of our mom on her partner's phone. What? Hang on. Say again. My sister

found naked photos of our mom on her partner's phone. So it would be like you're finding photos

of Patsy naked on her phone. Stop that whole stop. Thank you. Our mom had been having an affair with

our sister's partner for a while. Our parents are still together. What? So dad's forgiven and

forgotten. Or dad doesn't know. Or dad doesn't know. Oh my god. This is. These aren't cocked. Have you

checked Darren's phone to see if there's. Naked Patsy. Oh god, no. They're too similar. Ask my mom.

Ask my mom why my dad always got into bed with my best friend's mom when he dropped me off.

Innocently as a child. What? Oh my god. Mom, why does dad always get into bed with Sarah's mom when

he dropped me off? And then afterwards they have a shower. We have a shower and then she kisses him.

She wipes. He washes the smell of her office. Ranked it. I caught my mom having an affair with

my teacher. Oh, that's cool. I will say it's this stage of all the messages and calls. It's 50,

50 men and women. Yeah, absolutely. For sure. Absolutely. I told my dad when I was four that I

saw mom kissing Morris. Morris was the manager at McDonald's show sponsor. Treat yourself to

a McCafe coffee with Mick Macca's rewards and see if you can get yourself a Morris while you're

down there. I'll also give you a couple extra points. Morris. I said Morris is the man in charge

of McDonald's and he had us a moustache. So dad went to the local McDonald's and saw Morris on his

name. Moustache. Did he start the day with a delicious McCafe coffee? When you're there anyway.

Did he get a delicious barista main cup of coffee? Morris would try to smooth it over with one,

surely. Answer the phone one night. It was my father's mistress revealing all mom and dad were

upstairs watching TV. They were asking me what was going on because I started screaming, you

motherfucker. I was 14 to 15 at the time and he'd been making business trips overseas for a good

year. It was very traumatic actually. Founds lots of photographic evidence and sent it to all his

clients. Sorry? She's done there as you're taking your father's life and you've covered it in gasoline.

Take a piss on that gasoline and throw in a cigarette into it. Oh, wow. My mom's cheated on

my stepdad a couple of times with our cousin's partner. At the time, I'm pretty sure they weren't

together. I can't be sure. I don't know how my stepdad doesn't know. My brothers look like my cousins

and my nephews look like my cousin's kid. Oh, there's too many bridges here. Over here,

my mom has been a right sneaky tart. Do you know what I'd do for Christmas and this would be

shits and gigs? I'd buy everyone an ancestry.com. Oh my gosh. Wouldn't it be fun to discover new

things about our family? Let's all spit in this tube. I actually have put in the address already

so all the results are going to get sent to me. Yeah, great. And then I'll share them on the family

chat. On Valentine's Day. I love that. I found messages on my dad's phone while we were on a

ski holiday in Japan. I was 15 and confronted my dad about it going absolutely crazy. Dad was in

shock of being found out, put it back on me and said, do you want to ruin our holiday? Long story

short. You're warning us. Yes, I did want to ruin the holiday, you motherfucker. I sent the bomb off

and shit hit the fan. My parents went through a lot of therapy and it's still together. Won't

talk about it because I think I'll just cry. I discovered my mom was chatting with one of my

dad's closest friends. Mom had a secret phone she had hidden and I regretfully went through the phone.

I saw photos of her and the guy, not R18 thankfully, but at the time I was 13 really didn't know what

to do. About a year later it all came out. My mom and the guy are now married. It was an awful

situation for us to be in. Not only my dad, but all of us kids. I'm out of six kids. Six kids

involved and that's a thing at that age. Mom had a burner under the mattress. Wild. Just human.

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, you know. When I was 15, I don't even know where to

stop. There's so many. When I was 15, I caught my stepdad sending messages of I miss you to his

business partner who is male. Finally. Finally. Oh wait. Only three days to tell my mom she

checked the number and said that's not his business partner. As his number was only one

different from my stepdads, mom and I then played investigator for a while and they split up long

after that. He had just changed to the woman he was having an affair with. So it's not a game,

there's no dig. Where's the game? Well, we're just going to take a tiny break here. This is

where an ad insertion will happen. I mean, where the fuck are you going? This is the juiciest.

This is juiciest. This is juiciest. Say I'm stuck. You've heard in a while.

Oh, they're right back.

Well, let's get to more of these messages because I tell you what. Juiciest. My mom had an affair

with my best friend's dad right after her mom died. My dad was heartbroken. That's just sad.

That's just sad. Oh my God, there might be a first part. Yes, years ago I discovered emails

between my mom and another man, my now stepdad. Around the same time my parents were talking

about separating, my mom was insistent to my dad that she wasn't cheating on him, but I knew. I never

told my dad about the emails as it would have broken him even more. Worse was he was actually the

milkman. So when anyone makes a joke about cheating on someone with the milkman, I'm like,

yeah, it's a little too close to home. But in this constant living crisis, free milk.

Milk's expensive. Milk's expensive. She's actually done well there marrying the milkman.

I want to sleep with a butcher. Better to get meat than milk. Yes, especially at the moment.

I want to sleep with someone that makes gold bars. Yeah, I want to sleep with a banker.

I only used to sleep with a gold miner. Yeah, I want to sleep with a gold miner.

Yeah, but then you'd technically be a gold digger, but then so are they.

Yeah, good call. When I was about 14, my best friend had a feeling her mom was

cheating on her dad. So we waited in the backseat of their car in the driveway all night and her

mom pulled up in a taxi with a guy. They crossed the road and went down an alleyway and we snuck

over and watched them. And it was her dad's best friend. The poor girl was devastated and I was

too young to understand the gravity of the situation. But now I'm older. I remember and think,

that's a fucking lot for a kid to deal with. I mean, that seems to be a running theme.

We've had our jokes. We've had our laughs. We've had our gasps. We've had our shocks.

We've had our screams. Children are like almost a victim of this as well,

when they discover it. Especially if you can't figure out what it is. Like,

why? What's happening? Who's that? Yeah, what's happening here? What's going on here?

And how much is this going to hurt someone? I was in another town looking after my mother

because she had surgery and younger kids. And my children were staying home with their father,

whom my oldest called him having phone sex, telling the other lady he never really loved me.

Oh, wow. That's gotta hurt. Oh, ouch. Years ago, I just got emails between, oh no,

that was the milkman story, because that was a two-parter. When my sister was eight,

she found my dad in the kitchen dancing and kissing another lady who was our neighbor.

Dad had played it off like this is just what people do in the kitchen.

Our parents would have lost the year later. When it's 12, I found a Christmas card.

My dad in my dad's bed, so I draw. Inside was a message written from his co-worker calling him

baby and saying, I love you. And I went and took it to mom. And that was the first she'd seen of

it. They didn't break up, but still my relationship with my father has never been repaired. Oh,

wow. That's a true sad story. I love you, baby. I love you, baby. Merry Christmas. I love you, baby.

Heck, works great when you're there. My kids caught their father not once, but twice. Oh,

no. Oh, gosh. My partner, ex now, at the time, his mom was having an affair. I remember coming

home and he yelled at me, don't come upstairs as he was confronting his mom about it. Yeah.

And my parent, when my son was six months old, I found out his father cheated on me when I was

eight months pregnant. His best friend came forward and told me that he found out as he

cheated with his best friend's sister. What a wicked web. Too many leaks. You weave.

That needs a diagram. So crazy, isn't it? I just couldn't be f**ked in managing something like

this. I think when the time comes and the time will come that I want to have another sexual

intercourse with another human being. Another sexual intercourse. I'm just going to say it.

I don't want to have sex with that thing. And then Aaron will be like, sweet.

I'm not a mish. Just take it off my plate. I'm not a mish. Can I keep reading this Ken

Fuller book or do I have to wait for your fornicating to finish? One chapter. He reads to you,

sits in the corner and reads to you while you make love. Oh, yeah. Slow down. And he's like,

sorry, I'm reading too fast. He's like, no, no, you them. He doesn't know my speed.

My old man used to, I've got a couple more. My old man used to park his ute in the

shed and take my car so he could go and have some fun. Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go?

It's bounced down. Oh no. Oh, you didn't in the shed and take my car so he could have some fun

with another lady without his ute being seen. Oh yeah. Wasn't cheating on my mom at this stage,

but he was cheating on the lady that he'd cheated on mom with. Oh, you got your

opportunity. Yeah. I was sick in hospital and my mother went to my house to get me some stuff

to bring me and my now ex-husband was in bed with my best friend. Wait, so the mom

called the daughter's husband? No. Oh my God, I think my mom would see Aaron on fire. Yeah.

I had to be a hell of a thinker. This is great. I called my mom having an affair with a friend

and then basically got paid every day to keep it quiet. Yeah, I do that. My mom and him were

both putting in finances to keep me shut. Yeah, right. I want that. You can't have it. Really?

Can't I? Yeah, well, I feel like it. Well, I need to go see Dad. And I will, Mom said to say,

you're having all the cock. You could possibly want. Yeah. I mean, I'll end it there. I'm happy

with that. Yeah. That was really fun. That was a wild little pod. Mm-hmm. Oh. Who did you

tell me this was? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey guys, I reckon

it was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Not for me, Vaughn. Okay. I know we're even close.

No, we're even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well,

if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.