ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Caller of the Week - 27th October 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network.

Play ZM's Fletch Born and Haley.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac is Rewards.

Right now, though, we are talking the craziest, weirdest things you've seen on public transport.

A woman in Columbia was waxing your leaves.

Yep, with those red-made wax strips.

Luna, what is the craziest thing you've seen on public transport?

Luna?

Oh, morning.

Good morning, Luna.

Sorry, I heard the beat and I was like, that must be me.

That's you, mates.

What's the weirdest thing that you've seen on public transport?

Oh, well, okay, brace yourself.

So, I'm from England.

I met my lovely Kiwi now husband over there, living in Cornwall.

Just been on a cheeky wee date, getting to know each other, what not.

This and that.

Hello.

And get on the bus on the way home.

All quite nice.

So then a couple of girls get on.

Girl number one and girl number two.

I'll call them to keep it easy.

Girl number one is absolutely trolley.

And she's, I need a wheelie.

I need to go.

I'm absolutely just hanging on here and girl number two is like, no, no, no.

Just wait.

We're going to be at a toilet real soon.

We weren't.

We're in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah.

Anyway, so girl number one is like, no, that's it.

Can't do it.

So she rips off her undies, pops her knees against the front seat,

and just absolutely goes for it.

Straight to the bus.

So, you know, it gets worse.

So we're like, oh my God, this is right next to us.

Like we saw everything.

And so girl number two is like, no.

And in the meantime, anyway, there's two tin on vodka.

I think they were drinking out of this bottle and having a merry old

time.

She doesn't need any more.

Girl number two is relatively sober at that point.

But now moving on, she's not.

Girl number two now needs to take a leak.

So girl number two.

Oh, no, no, I'm absolutely hanging on now.

Oh, I'm going to have to do the same.

So she rips off her undies, pops the squat against the seat in front of her,

and absolutely goes for it.

So me and Timmy are just sitting there like, what are we watching?

This is just chaos.

At this point, there's a river running down the aisle of the bus.

And the bus driver turns the corner and it's like a river wave.

And everyone's like, oh my God.

And then it's even worse.

Group of guys get on.

They've had a lovely night out.

They're pretty, you know, they're merry.

They're not too drunk.

But anyway, the girls are like, it's big.

They're like pointing to the aisle of wee-wees down the middle.

And anyway, something happens.

I can't remember the context.

But one of the guys is like, odds of licking the floor.

Ah!

Oh, no!

Oh, Luna!

Luna!

And then the guy loses the odds for whatever reason, gets down,

starts poking the waltz tongue out, gets closer to the ground.

We're like, don't!

Don't do it!

And he doesn't listen to us.

And he licks the bloody floor.

Ah!

Luna!

Luna!

Oh, I know.

And then it gets worse.

No, it can't get worse.

We're like, we're like, bro,

that was actually, that was wee-wees that you just licked.

You should probably go to your doctor or something.

I don't know.

Anyway, so then we're telling all of our tales about this,

like a week or so later.

Like, oh, I can't believe what we saw.

This is out of control.

Poor Timmy.

Just, you know, lovely wee innocent Kiwi.

Never seen anything like this in his life.

I'm from London.

Seen a bit.

But anyway, one of our friends comes along.

He's a bloody hell-drecking.

And he's got with him the two girls from the fricking bubble.

Ah!

Oh, no!

And we're like, no, Ryan, you don't know what she's been doing.

Did you say something?

Did you say that?

Were you like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Yeah.

Well, she was like, I recognize your friends from the bus.

And that made it even worse.

Because then we were like, oh, my God,

did you tell him what you're doing on the bus?

Or oh, my God.

And then Timmy, and then Timmy's like, I need to move home.

Yeah!

Can you take me back to Otearoa?

We need to leave this country.

And then she shortly after, we did actually come to,

we did move back.

I don't blame you.

Luna!

Well, I think call her in the week.

Call her in the week.

Call her in the week for sure in the week.

You've won a $50 McCafe voucher.

Thanks to our mates at McCafe.

Well done, Luna.

And I'm sure our bus is a way better.

Yeah.

Comparably.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, Jeff, much cleaner.

Yeah.

Yes.

I hate people.

This is so gross.

I can't believe that, Luna.

Look at poor Luna.

Thank you.

A couple of quick text messages in.

I don't think we're beating that, though.

People are manky, man.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.