ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Caller of the Week - 17th October 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Treat yourself to Mccaffay coffee with my Macca's Rewards.

The impossible phone and topic, asking the question today.

Have you been presumed dead?

There was a woman whose social security number

reveals she has died.

For years, she's been fighting to say,

I'm not dead, I'm alive.

Also, another man was declared dead at hospital,

but then woke up.

Have you been presumed dead?

Not impossible.

Callum, good morning.

Good morning, how are you?

Good.

Now, have you been presumed dead?

Yes, I definitely have been presumed dead, mate.

But you're alive talking to us on the phone right now.

Could be a ghost, though.

Are you a ghost?

Definitely not a ghost.

Ghost can't tell, though.

The iPhone doesn't realise that it's been touched.

Yeah, it doesn't have the fingerprint.

OK.

Yeah, fair point.

So, who thought you were dead?

So, my parents thought I was dead for about six months.

Whoa!

What?

Yeah, it's...

How?

So, my sisters were in a bit of a tiff with my parents

at the time, and they weren't really getting along.

And I was living in Wellington while they were in Christchurch,

and my older sister actually called my parents up

and told them that I had died.

What?

What?

Can I just pause, because when I have a tiff with my parents,

I don't tell them one of my siblings is dead.

Yeah, that's exactly right.

But it would be Philip, right?

Absolutely.

They'll just ring them in check, though.

Your brother's telling me you're dead or you're dead.

Wait, did they want to go to your funeral or anything?

Yeah, well, that was the next part,

is, yeah, my sisters and stuff told them

that they've already had the funeral

and that my ex-girlfriend's parents didn't want them there.

What?

What?

What?

I'm going to say this in the nicest possible way,

Kellan, your sister sounds like a crazy bitch.

No, I'm serious.

She definitely is, mate.

Your sister sounds like a top-level, red flag, crazy bitch.

So how did they not...

So for six months, how did they...

Wait, did you just not call home and see how they were doing?

Or...

Yeah, yeah, I was just busy with life and work

and then I was like, wait, I haven't heard from my parents

for a while and what's going on.

Oh, my gosh, so what happened?

I gave them a call last night and mum and dad are like,

you're alive?

Oh, my God.

Okay, maybe.

This is the best story I've ever heard.

Maybe we gave away our caller of the week

back to yesterday too early.

No, we didn't. I think it's just a double.

It's a double.

We're just going to do another caller of the week.

It's a double.

Wait, wait, wait.

There's so much to work out here.

Were they...

What was the fallout of this?

Oh, my parents don't really talk to my sisters anymore.

Are they dead?

Did you tell them they died?

You should tell them your sisters are dead.

It's a little wild.

To them.

So they never...

Why?

Your parents were just like, oh, my God, this is terrible

and what a mean ex-girlfriend not letting us go

to our own son's funeral and not telling us

and oh, well, we'll just leave it be.

No, they were kind of like just, yeah,

running around, calling up all the other family

seeing if they had heard anything from what I was told

and then they didn't really know anything to go off.

So my parents kind of just presumed, yeah, that I...

I mean, so when a few days and a few phone calls later,

your parents were like, ah, well...

I mean, if somebody said that your friend is dead,

you're not going to pick up the phone and call them, are you?

You're just going to be like, oh, well...

Yeah, they're dead like this.

No, I'm going to like...

Yeah, well, you don't think to call them exactly they're dead.

No, I'm trying.

If someone said to me, Vaughn's dead, I'd be like,

oh, my God, I'm devastated, but I wouldn't ring you

and be like, hey, brah.

Would you not call?

I'd be like, oh, I'm calling her in.

I'd call Shadda.

Voice on her voice, I'd get drunk on her,

I'd be like, I'll just ring their voicemail, ring, ring.

And you're like, hello?

And I'm like, ghost hey?

Hailey?

This is insane.

So how did your parents react

were they really upset like when they heard the news?

Did they cry?

Were they beside themselves?

My mom was absolutely in tears

and my dad was trying to just gobsmack.

They he was just like, what the fuck's going on?

How had they told them that?

Well, how?

How were they?

Were they told you died?

Like a car accident, a drowning?

Just stabbing.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

So you are murdered.

You're not dead by your own hand

or dead in an accident.

Someone murdered you and your parents are like,

I'll ask you the answer.

You were just stabbing and puttidore at the time

and my sister told them that it was me.

Oh my God.

And your parents are never like,

well, we better fly to Wellington

and get justice for our son.

They're just like, look, the police will take care of that.

Stabbing and puttidore, there it is.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

So, Callan, when you rang them and they said,

oh my God, you're alive,

like what happened?

Were they happy or just like, oh, hey, son?

Over the moon, I pretty much went down there

that way just to see them.

Oh my God.

And just reassure them, look, look,

it's really me, it's really me.

Oh my God, your poor parents have been through the wringer.

And we've never been doing this for 20 years together.

This is the wildest phone call I've ever had.

It's so incredible.

Trust that your parents are like,

this is terrible news.

Oh well.

Oh well.

He was a good kid.

Were you the sort of person that would have got stabbed?

Like, were your parents and not being too surprised

that you were on the receiving end of a stabbing?

Are you in some gangs, Callan?

Are you a rapper?

I was definitely not in some gangs,

but I will say at the point in time,

it wouldn't have been un-peculiar for me to get stabbed.

Yeah, right.

Single-grader sentence, Eva.

It would have been un-peculiar for them to get stabbed.

But Callan, you're so nice.

But wait, I've got so many questions.

When they were ringing around the friends and relatives,

saying he's been stabbed,

they would just like, oh, okay.

Yeah, well, my sisters didn't really give out

much more information and didn't really answer

their calls after that.

So they were kind of just stuck.

Why do your sisters hate you so much, Callan?

You sound like such a lovely man.

Oh, I'm not sure why they hate me.

Yeah, Matt, could I at the time, though?

It may not have been peculiar that they hated me.

It may not have been peculiar that they hated me.

Callan, we've already done a caller of the week this week.

It's only Tuesday.

It's only Tuesday.

We're doing a second caller of the week,

$50 McAfee voucher for you

from our friends at McAfee.

Callan, enjoy the life.

Enjoy your second chance at life.

Yeah, dude.

I definitely will.

Congratulations.

Well, so many messages and texts,

but that nothing is gonna beat that story at all.

Oh, my God.

Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver

five stars because you wanted five stars back?

Yeah.

Let's do that with this podcast.

Oh, yeah.

Review it five stars, tell your friends,

and we'll do the same for you

if you ever need a review for anything.

But where are you giving me my five stars?

Well, I don't know.

Do you own a restaurant or something?

Yes.

If you give us five stars on this podcast,

tell us where you would like your review,

and we'll review it.

Even when we won't even go.

We'll just review your thing.

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is.

I'm doing one of those secret restaurants.

Oh, I was going to say that's exactly

what the opposite of how restaurants work.

ZMs, Fletch, Vaughan, Haley.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.