ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 9th October 2023

The ZM podcast network. The Fleshhorn and Haley big pod. Treat yourself to

McCafe coffee with my Mac's rewards. Good morning. She's a year older. She's

officially as of yesterday year old I'm 34. That's not a next age bracket though.

Oh yeah you know when you're scrolling down and you're between yeah 34 is that

a 28 to 34 or something? Yeah and then 35 to 40. No you're in the next drop down menu.

No hang on one more year one more year. Enjoy it. Yeah I will enjoy it. We'll

delve into your birthday celebrations a bit later on in the show. Yeah it'd be good if you

catch me up. It's a great day. Great day. Great day. Coming up on the show the top six

he's been some research done that gorillas also suffer midlife crisis crisis. Is that what you're

saying? Yeah so I've got the top six signs the gorilla in your life is going through a midlife

crisis. You'd think it would be easy to spot. You would. But yeah great tips are coming up in

the top six. Next on the show. Well people are being a bit tricky. Is this breaking the law?

I don't know the girlies are doing something weird they're buying stuff and then they're

playing a little trick. It's 100% theft. Well what I'm gonna share next I'm not endorsing it. It's

a warning. Creative license. Yeah. It's a warning. A word to the wise is next.

Okay so Marshals in the United States is like a big department store. Like a farmer's? Yeah like a

farmer's not super duper high end but also not cheap. Right. And someone shared on TikTok that

they went to Marshals and they were looking through the clothing racks and then they came across a

skirt. I'm gonna say the skirt's horrendous but that's just a personal preference. Yeah. I think

paisleys and then just don't stop thinking paisleys. Okay. So what you noticed was there was a tag on

it which is Rachel Zoe which is like she was a stylist for ages and then she got her own clothing

brand and stuff. But it's a posh brand? Kind of a posh brand. Okay. Yeah a posh brand and it's got

the tags on it obviously because it's a store but then on the other side is a Sheehan label.

Now Sheehan is if you don't know one of the most cheap sort of dropshipping fast fashion

like online stores that sells predominantly junk like this paisley monstrosity and she's figured

what someone's done is they've bought a cheap thing on Sheehan and sewn in these designer label tags

and then returned it back to the store. And then kept the designer clothing. Oh my god that is I mean

that's straight out theft. Well she gave a little something back. It's the bar assistant. It is it's

a bit of a barge isn't it? You're training the Lisa oh my god yeah if you got busted doing that you'd

Yeah but we've got to think like especially in like a big massive store like this Marshall's thing

if you was scanning that back in as a return you just scan the tag. You're not gonna know are you?

Yeah you're not gonna go that's not. I've never worked is that how returns work? Yeah it's based

on the it's on the tag that you the shop print not the tag that's on the dress. You know the dresses

that people wear and keep the tags on them but like tuck them in and then return that. I don't know that.

Do those get a wash? How do they freshen those up before putting them back on the rack? Because

I mean the tags still on but you kind of know. They just do that steaming thing. They steam them.

I used to when I worked in a designer clothing store used to borrow them all the time go out on

the weekend and then pop them back. With a bit of a yeah havalet. Dirty burns and a wine stain.

You're slob bloody sweet sour pork down the front. Give it a quick little steam.

Yeah I don't know usually when you return clothes you can tell if they've been worn.

Right. You could say that but yeah I mean we did you would do it all the time in TV

didn't we? We'd be in a studio with bloody nine tags tucked into your.

And then they take them back and sell them for like suits and not for cheats. Yeah right because

you squeal through those. Yeah right. Yeah but they'd even dry clean some stuff. It happens all

the time in TV. And because they've got one of those guns that puts a tag back on. Yeah.

The plastic. The little tag. Little taggy things. Yeah. The secrets. The secrets we could

tell about the world of television. Play Zudem's Fletch Vaughn and Haley. Well some research has

been done and apparently if you play your plant's music or it sings softly to them they grow a bit

better. Strumming my baby. Oh my god that's exactly the song I was going to sing is it because you

said softly. Softly. Killing me softly. Well you don't want to kill them softly. No. You're

bringing them life. So this was actually. You know what you've got me in the mood for a little

Fuji's. Funions and Fuji's. Funions and Fuji's. Now that's the explicit version. Do you have the

safe radio edited in the system? Stand by. You want. Do you want to tell me something. Yes please.

Fuji's every Fuji song has the E for explicit beside it. Yeah well. Really. Killing me softly.

Here we go. This one here. All the original. We could do the original. Reminds me of about a boy.

One time.

I can see why a plant would thrive under this. Oh I feel my leaves unshorling.

So researchers played music to plants which they say could pave the way for a new kind of

acoustic farming. I thought this had been disproven like as airy fairy. So this is this is how they

did it. So a song was played to plants for five hours a day at 60 to 70 decibels. Now it doesn't

say what song could you listen to for five hours of this one. One time. Now they they apparently

use duckweed which is a common pond weed that's used as a high protein animal source. Delicious.

So what they did is they played they played this music for five hours a day and after seven days

the researchers compared the duckweed that they played music to compared to the weed that they

didn't play music to and the music weed was 10 percent better. It's a New Zealand native plant.

It might have it might there might be multiple things called that around the world. Surely it's

got to do with the vibrations right. So if you talk to your plants they get happy. Yes so day five

the growth rate of the musical plants was nearly 10 percent greater than the silent batch. Good Lord.

Protein levels were up 60 percent and they were also more efficient at processing light from the

sun and they're unclear why but they just thought it was the sound vibrations. Yeah our shared

friend Dr. Shawnee is house sitting all of my house plants at the moment when he loves his music.

Do you think it would be too much to ask that he plays them a little.

I think they're in his aren't they in his house. Yeah so they're in his lounge

so they'd be getting music and Netflix probably. Would it be too much to ask for him to sing softly

to them. I sort of want to curate it experience. Yeah right well I mean sure give it a try. Give it

any kind of vibration right. Oh yeah you can put you charge all your dillies near them.

We'll just leave them on when you go to work just put it up against the pot plant. But when

they come home from work at the better of your drained then what am I going to do. Oh and that's

when you need it I guess. Yeah I don't know. As soon as you walk in the door. Yeah and then you're

angry and frustrated and your plants are picking up on those vibrations. They're going to die for

them. Yeah that's not going to work. Well give it a go. If you want those plants to grow. No

no I was meaning to sing. Duckweed will be the like easiest plant to grow on Mars.

Yeah right. According to NASA. They were like we're interested in tasting like what is it.

It's not like that watercress stuff they put on the top of it. You know when you get watercress.

No. Although stringy bean things. No. No I'm not into poo harm. What do you mean stringy bean

things. Mung bean sprouts. Yeah I don't like those either. What about on top of a duckweed. Tom yum.

Oh yeah not bad. Not bad. Yeah okay I'll give you that. Come on Tom yum. Silly little poll

next on the show. Is it rude to ask someone at the gym how many sits they have left bruh. Is this

when you want to use the machine that they're on. And they've been on their phone for the last

30 minutes. Oh my god just sit on the phone. What's your rest time mate. Because your heartbeat's

gone right down. Today's the little poll is about the gym and asking people at the gym if

it's rude to ask them how many sets they've got to go if they're sitting on a machine. Yeah I think

there was this debate. I think someone posted a tiktok because they were like oh my god some guy

like just asked me how many sets like yeah but now you've had time to post about it on tiktok.

Just get off the machine. Get off the machine. Exactly. Go and do something else and come back

to it. When someone says how many sets do you have left. It's a polite nice way of saying hey I'd

love to use that machine. I'm next. Or can we maybe we'll do a sit each. I put two dollars on the

machine. That's a pool table. That's a pool table. Gotcha. But some people do just sit on a machine

and we've all done it. Like you go to the gym and you just get on your phone and you're not in the

mood. I'm here. That's it. And then you don't realize but maybe you've been 10 minutes between

sets you know. And so when someone says that it's a polite way of saying come on man. There's only

one of these machines. I never ask. I don't know why. I just never do. I'm always like

I'll just go do something else. Yeah. I don't have you. I'll do you. Do you linger around.

You just kind of look and you or you. Yeah. But they don't know. Sounds fun. Move it or lose it.

There was this lady at the gym and she was going between three machines like in a pattern. I hate

that. Now when she just finished let's just say with the dips one and I jumped on she's like oh I

am using that. I was like yeah I know but I'm not going to I'm going to be in and out before you

and I hate to be next one. You can't superset all your machines at a gym when it's busy. Two

max and they're going to be next to each other. Yeah. And even then like even then if you want to

jump in and make it available for somebody else to use the other one while you're using the other

one. Exactly. You just can't be like oh I'm using that. So I know you are. You know there's only

two or three machines. There's only three machines. Yeah. A couple of old treadmills. And there's

they're rusty and you've got a bandage up before you go. Yeah. Yeah. But everybody there looks

like old boys from like 1980s boxing movies. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Break your face. You're like

can I use that machine? They say put them up. 33% of people said yes it is rude to ask somebody

how many sets they have to go. 67% said no it is not rude. That's still like a third of people

would find it rude if you asked. Well now I'm never going to ask. Amy said it's not rude to ask

how many sets but it is rude to hang around or look. We call that a set manager. A set manager.

Yeah. Right. That rushed me. Yeah. But unlike you I'll just find another machine if someone's on it.

Same. If I've got a superset I'll just go I'll just do that one next then and jump to the next

exercise and then come back eventually. Yeah. Liam says absolutely not. I worked as a PT for six

years and it's very normal gym etiquette to politely ask. If people think it is rude they

need to grow up. Yeah. Ask him politely. Ruben. A middle aged woman came up to me between sets

while I was resting and said are you waiting for a friend or something in a really horrible tone

and I was so pissed off. So yes I think it is rude if you're going to ask like that. I've got to

feel like Grumpy Lisa messaging or something like this. There's only one Grumpy Lisa. Yeah.

I mean yeah if you're only a 30 seconds 45 you're fine. Oh yeah you've got to let the heart rate

come down. Yeah. Also if Ruben was just like sat there like you let you say if it's the pull down

thing and he's sat there on his phone lent forward. Yeah. The person's like oh I could just if you're

resting I could just use it in between. If you just rest off to the side. Yeah that would be great.

Yeah. Are you waiting for a friend or something. How passing. Laura said I voted no but let's be

honest the last time I went to a gym was about five years ago and I had no idea what I was doing.

Yeah. We appreciate your feedback. Yeah we do. Yeah Laura. Not much has changed really.

No. The last five years. It's still hard. Still heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Still the choice of music's

pretty bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else happened. He still wants to look at. You take your head. Yeah.

Yeah. Big mirrors are still everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of big mirrors. Good butts. Yeah within

the last five years the butt has prevailed. Yeah. The butts definitely come through. Yeah. Good.

Tarsh says no definitely not especially if they're just sitting there on their phone not actually

doing sets. You're well within your right to ask. Yeah. Because it is just a bit of a hurry up.

Another way you could say is do you mind if we share. Oh it's a bit cute. Yeah. That's a nicer way

of saying me. Do you mind if we tag team. Yeah. No. I wouldn't say that. Do you want to wear

a three way with this machine. Yeah. You and me that machine. Yeah. Let's go. Let's see how

we can make this work for all of us. So yeah that is a little pop.

This morning before the show just about an hour ago we were discussing what we would do in the

next break. Yes. And then I said here's a croc story and before I could even finish

Fletch said I've actually got a better crocodile story. Better one. I didn't even know.

No my crocodile. And so dear listener we would like you now to text in would you like a story

about how in Australia a crocodile orgy was triggered by a flying machine or would you like

a story about one of the most incredible moments in fashion that has just arrived

to do with crocs to do with crocs. So kind of two crocodile stories. Yeah croc or crocodile. Would

you like the new fashion croc story or would you like the crocodile orgy story text in 9 6 9 6

and whoever wins whoever wins. Yeah we'll discuss that story next. Okay. Well I've got mine ready

because I have a suspicion that people are going to know about this incredible moment in fashion.

But people want to know how the crocodile orgy was triggered. No it's weird and it's weird to think

about. Well a lot of teeth. Oh yeah you know you have to wrap your lips around there. Yeah when I

I don't know if I've got lips. One of those stories next ZM.

ZM's Fletch won in Hayley. Well I'm not talking. She's been outvoted. 80% of the text messages.

You let me down New Zealand. Crocs are releasing a cowboy boot. Yeah I got it out anyway.

That is not part of the rules. Crocs are releasing a cowboy boot. Well I said when we were...

Would you like to hear about it. Now you can't say no vote for me. No you didn't vote. We put two

if you've just joined us there were two crocodile stories pitched for the show today. The croc

fashion story or my crocodile orgy story which comes to us from ifinglovescience.com.

Great website. So it's official and this happened at a crocodile farm in Central Queensland

which is by Rockhampton and this was the owner of the farm relaying the story to ABC News in

Australia saying that they had a Chinook helicopter which is like a big military lifting helicopter

like a real bushy helicopter. Those big ones. Two blades. Two sets of blades.

And he was saying that they had some photographers in there and they were coming in close to get

some photos of the crocs from above and the low flying helicopter had a rousing effect on the

crocodiles. So apparently it's the big thump and the vibration of the crocodile noises. Yeah and

so apparently all of the males got up and were roaring bellowing at the sky and then the owner

of the farm said that when the helicopter was left they made it like mad. Wow. It made them all

horned up. Yeah and so apparently crocodiles highly vocal. I've got a crocodile mating sound

on YouTube video. Okay go. Teed up here. I don't know how far into it. Helicopter. You can see why.

Yeah. That's the equivalent of. He goes.

Oh my mate. Do you know. Yeah. That's on the radio.

Did we just break some kind of broadcasting standard there with that mating rich sexy very

horned up noise. So yeah apparently it's an aphrodisiac for crocodiles at noise. So yeah apparently

it kicked off and he just said it was wild and then the helicopter left and it was all on.

Jeez. The crocodile farm. They're all. Yeah. To answer an earlier question when we were debating

which story to share and we talked about this orgy that do crocodiles have lips. They don't.

No I didn't think they did. Well they don't need to because they're mostly underwater. They don't

need lips for protection. Their teeth hydrate with their aquatic environment. Right. Well there goes

your idea of lip gloss for crocodiles. I know. My god. The patent on that. Lip gloss. No is

that what our lips afford to hydrate our teeth. Yeah to keep the mouth hydrated because otherwise

I just get. At a dry out. Right. Plus it'd be a bit weird. No lips. Just no lips. Only hard to

imagine kissing. It'd be so dry. So dry.

From the bustling ZM think tank. This is the top six. Well it turns out gorillas have

midlife crises as well as us. The distant relatives. They studied 508 great apes and

captivity and shared their sense of well being bottoms out in their late 20s to mid 30s which

is the ape equivalent of middle age before coming back again at old age. Okay. Which is what they

say happens with humans. Yes. Yeah. Right. And we're apparently meant to also have quarter life

crisis crises now. Have you. I think it's just because it's so busy right. Yeah. I don't know.

It could be extended. Yeah. I don't think I've had a crisis. Everything's going pretty well.

Top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis is today's top six.

Number six. He breaks up with his much long suffering gorilla wife and gets a much younger

orangutan lover from New Orleans. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. You love her and comes back

kids. My bride. Meet your new mom. Number five on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla

in a midlife crisis. She punishes a lot of Chardonnay and the lead up to any birthday

really steps up the amount of Chardonnay. Yeah. Should I be drinking Chardonnay. Yeah.

She gets a bit bloody lippy. Yeah. She really gets out there. Number four on the list of the top

six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis. He started back at the gym and cut back on the

bananas. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's like I was eating a lot of bananas. Get back to this gym though.

Imagine a gorilla at the gym. How much would they be able to break bench for all of it. All

of it. All of it. All of it. Like because they can wrap your arms off. Yeah. Load up the bar.

Yeah. He'll do it. He's got old gorilla strength too. Yeah. Have you seen a gorilla's glutes?

Yeah. Squats. I wouldn't be asking how many sets left. I'm just letting her alone. You just you

do you. You do you. Number three on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife

crisis. She's denying getting Botox and fillers but her face isn't moving much. It looks pretty

tight and she lacks the emotion to express it truthfully. She's looking at your face because you

did say you were contemplating it. And you said you weren't a guess when I've had it.

It wasn't them because you were a guess. Oh you know. Right up. Frown. Oh no. Yep. That's still

moving. Number two on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis.

He's got himself a new banana mobile. Ticked it up but he's always wanted it.

And heck he looks cool in his new sunglasses cruising around in it. Yeah. Good stuff there.

And number one on the list of the top six ways to spot a gorilla in a midlife crisis. His hair

had been thinning but he went away from the enclosure for a holiday to Turkey for a few weeks

and came back with a head, back, butt, chest and face full of hair. Wow. Almost revitalized.

Yeah. Turkey's the place to go. Turkey's the place to go. Yeah. Turkey's the place to go for

some heroic marks and just because you've got hair all over your body doesn't mean you can't go.

You've done pretty cost a little bit more. You're a lot more. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's just

square footage. You know, there's a lot more square footage. That's the day's top six.

I just need to blow my nose. Got a hand key. She's got a hand key. Where are you going to put that?

You haven't got long sleeves. I've got pocket my skirt. And your pocket. Yeah. Oh, you know,

you don't tuck it up the rest. Tuck it up and there's the nanostrip. You know, I've got

tissues here. Yeah. You know, we're in a climate crisis right now.

Fair cause. Tissues never break down.

Whereas hand keys, they dip in water, they disappear. Cornstarch, I think.

Right. Anyway, I've been watching the documentary, the Beckham documentary,

that's on Netflix at the moment. It popped up and I was like, I don't look at that. I'm an old

Spice Girl lover and David Beckham's hot. Those are the two things I need. That's enough for you.

I've actually been finding it super, super interesting. So wait, is it episodes or what?

It's a four part series. Right. Starting with like how they met and then him turning into David

Beckham, you know, who just was the best footballer. Then it goes into his head like depression after

he missed this shot. No, no, no, he didn't miss a shot. He like kicked someone. Yeah, he got a penalty.

98 World Cup. Yeah. And then they lost and it was all happening. The whole of England was like,

we ate David. They bloody turned on him. It's been so interesting. And one of the

funniest clips that keeps coming out of it is this one where like Victoria. Oh, play it.

No, it's very, very funny. Hold on. Where's the unmute there? Hold on. Hold on.

Granddad's having a minute. I'm going to redo it and take it off unmute. This is so flawless.

You know, like, this is what Jared. Yeah, I know, but we just thought of it.

This is what producer Jared does. I know, but we just thought of it. I just thought of it.

Hold on. I got to refresh it. I think also we both come from families that work really hard,

both of our parents work really hard. We're very working, working class. Be honest. I am being

honest. I am being honest. So my dad, my dad is not a simple answer because

it depends. No, no, no, no, no. Okay. In the 80s, my dad had a Rolls Royce.

It's so funny. It's so funny. She's like, because they all see that documentary star and he just

pokes his head and is like, no, no, be honest. It's really funny because he is from working

class. Very much. So grew up like quite poor, whereas she didn't grow up with a lot. She was

like all over the show as well. But like, I think it's funny. They just like calls her out. It's

really beautiful. Actually, they talk about their connection and their relationship and whatnot. And

the love is real because you haven't seen it all. You haven't seen all four apps. I'm about to get

into the stuff where they talk about the affair. I was going to say, because that's been all kind

of in the news over the last week or so. The original Becky with the good hair.

Yeah, the original. So Rebecca Loose was her name. Loose. And that's when he went to go play for

Madrid. Went over there and everyone was like, he's had an affair. Was she the nanny? Was she the nanny?

Yes. Was she? Yes. Oh my, a former personal assistant. Oh, right. Okay.

The thing of Jude Law. That was the nanny. That was the nanny. Yeah. Had a four month affair.

Apparently, which he still says is like not true. Ludacris. So he says even, oh, okay, you have to

watch that. Yeah, I know. I need to watch this bit. But the way they talk about their love, I mean,

and they weren't going to make it through that time. And they were like being pulled apart. But

hey, they're stronger than ever. It's a really good doco about a great sportsman, actually.

And she, that story where she eats the same meal has come back up. It's true. She just eats the same

bloody thing. Is it a salad? Was it like fish? Was fish or something? Fish and salad and something?

Yeah. Yeah. So that boring. If it was tacos, I'd be on board. Yeah. Yeah, morning. I could eat tacos.

I could eat a lot. I could eat slow. Breakfast tacos. Yum. I could eat tacos every meal.

Breakfast tacos are legit. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Oh, yeah. And then lunch tacos are now dinner

tacos, dessert tacos. Obviously soft shell all the way. Not hard to eat. Oh my God. Who

is having a crunch? Grow up. Yeah. Do you get a dispensation for, to have churros for dessert,

just given that you've been so good with your tacos all day to the Mexican cuisine?

Sure. If you want, I guess. Yeah. Well, it's the natural progression from a taco to a churro.

It is. Tacos all day to a churro for put. Yeah. Oh, you'd have no teeth. I'm starving now.

I'm doing taco Monday. It's Mexican Monday.

We all know FOMO. Now FOMO apparently was right back in 2004. FOMO. The fear of missing out.

Okay. God. Time, eh? I thought there was more like mid, like 2010s. FOMO. Yeah.

Almost thought earlier. Okay. Oh, wow. Interesting.

Sands through the hourglass. These days of our lives.

So we've always, I still, I don't know if I use FOMO. Do you know why? Because I never miss out.

What about Jomo? When was that? Joy of missing out. That's where you were like.

That was panty, wasn't it? That was in the panty. Just pre-panty. Pre-panty.

Well, now there's FOMO, which is a more recently coined phrase that is

fear of bobbing onions. Fear of balls out. Oh, for short short wearers. Yeah.

Fear of big oranges. No, it's fear. This is actually quite bleak. Fear of becoming obsolete.

Oh, wow. Okay. In a professional sense. In a professional sense. Oh, wow. Okay.

So this is like in a workplace. Yeah. Which is they did like a whole bunch of

studies around people and their fears of, you know, science and technology making so quickly AI

that their job is going to become obsolete. We've joked about it because now you can steal people's

voices. Yeah. They don't have any of our charm or incredible sense of humour though, do they?

I don't know. AI's not there yet. No. They don't have the same sort of...

But Stephen Fry, was it Stephen Fry? They ripped his audiobook from Harry Potter, didn't they?

Yeah. AI's used his voice and he's like, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. You can't do that.

So they said that they've asked this question before about like how many people this is in the

US are worried that technology is going to make their job obsolete. Yeah.

And it was like quite low in 2021. And now it's had this huge jump

because of AI. In people who are worried about

phobos, fear of becoming obsolete. Yeah. Oh, gosh. What are you doing? They say,

they say, well, thank you. Good luck when the power goes out. Good luck when the power goes out.

They say, here's some ways you can take to try and alleviate your phobos, your fear of becoming

obsolete. And then I've just Googled jobs that artificial intelligence won't replace.

Oh, okay. And I've got a list that we can do as well of that.

Well, basically, their advice here is to just look at your career and keep working hard at it

and making, you know, proving how invaluable you are. This sounds like management.

It does. You are by working harder and longer and not asking for anything in return.

Yeah. You can not become obsolete. The alternative to working hard and looking

at areas that you might need work on, they say, spruce up the CV. So get ready for it.

What are the jobs that AI can't do? Agricultural jobs. But isn't there a new

machine that I literally watched a country calendar last night. He had an electric tractor

and they taught it to Moe between the cherry trees. And then they were like,

now that one nice job for us is spring. So it did. And isn't there like machines they tie and

zap weeds. Oh my God, the zapping. It uses AI to recognize the leaves that are growing there

and it will leave them alone. But any leaf not recognized, it'll be on with laser.

Educators, I guess like teachers. I've been learning from Wikipedia since I literally

went to high school. You're saying human resources because I mean, they're going to

need to fire everybody resource. No, but they're still going to need to fire.

Well, someone's still going to be mean to someone. Lawyers and judges.

But then you can probably have an AI, AI would take the human. Yeah, exactly. And then the

lawyers, it would all just be like read through this and do this and it would take all the humanity

out of it. And like document people because, you know, lawyers don't just become lawyers when

they leave law school. They have to do all that policy reading and stuff. That's all gone.

Well, other other jobs on the list of jobs that AI won't replace government workers and

politicians. Well, what a shame. The one thing we could probably all agree with.

Psychiatrists and psychologists. Yeah, that's true. But then I'm going to say they're like,

they're going to have a lot of robots for old folks homes. Yeah, they'll technically take on a

little bit of a psychologist role, you'd say. Yeah, helping the old people, medical staff,

doctors, physicians, nurses, dentists. Again, I've been using Dr. Google for quite a few years.

And that's been doing your right, hasn't it? Yeah, well,

trade workers, plumbers, carpenters, constructions, builders. Yeah. And

artists and writers. There you go. I would probably trust AI to build a house more than I would.

Just your average Joe. It's a bad excuse. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying,

you know, put into a machine, lose the energy. Well, they do. They have the 3D printing. Yeah,

they do. You got 3D printer house. Yeah. Probably not a villa like mine.

ZM's Fletch Von and Hayley. We're reading this very silly study. It makes me think pet owners

are a bit insane, aren't we? Do you know what I mean? Like the real passionate pet owners. Yeah.

Well, your cat drinks out of a glass. So yes, they are. One only more. And drunkenly kicked it over

and smashed it through my kitchen. See, the cat had a specific glass. Yeah. Rolly, we had two bowls

when we first got Rolly, one for food, one for water, never lapped from the water bowl and would

always find him sticking his whole face into our drinking glasses. So then we just converted one

of our drinking glasses to his glass and it's how he likes to drink. We've had that for the whole

eight years that Rolly's been alive. And you kicked it over on the weekend. I kicked it over on the

weekend when I got home because it's just on the floor and it smashed everywhere. Anyway, now I'm

going to go back. I've got to go to Kmart. Give you like a judgmental look and a little bit of

like a verbal telling off. Yeah, I was like, wow, wow, wow. 34, are we? Look at you. Grow up.

Grow up. You've broken our favorite glass. So this is quite a funny study about how like

perceptive pet owners think that they are. The biggest result from this is that people,

pet owners think that caring for a pet is more stressful than being in both a romantic relationship

with a partner or being a parent to a child. Because I looked at the results of the study,

it doesn't say if any of these pet owners were parents also. I don't think they are.

Because I feel like only a non-child have would think that having a kid was easier than a pet.

Wouldn't you agree? It's weird because if you go on holiday, you can either take your children

with you, which is not an option for a pet. True. Yeah. Or you pound them off to the grandparents.

Which also isn't always an option for like a cat. Yeah, correct. So you've got to find someone to

like look after them. So I guess that's kind of a little bit. And like animal, if something's wrong

with them, they can't tell you what's wrong with them. They can't be like, it hurts here or I

feel funny or like a kid can kind of give you some clues. Yeah. Yeah. This is what, that was part of

it is like that pet owner is always trying to be like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Okay, what's

going on? You've got a sore leg, you're limping. Whereas like you take the kid to the doctor or

something or they tell you eventually after a couple of years. Your kids are like babies and

stuff and something's wrong. That's wildly stressful. I can imagine. Because you're like, what do you want?

Just tell them, point, point. Do you need a tit? Do you need it?

What do you need? Do you want to walk? Sometimes they just don't even know.

I mean, I feel, I mean, you're a crazy cat lady. But I've got like, he's got an easy going cat.

Yeah. Even though for, look at that for the first time in my life, Rolly attacked me and I

always broke his glass. No, no, no. This was on Friday night. We got home and I was in a good

mood and I was playing around with him and I flipped him onto his side and kind of like pulled

him around a bit and he just hated it, growled, like never in the whole life. So now I've,

what did you do that for? I just flipped him over and I was just drunk. I had a couple of

babies, but no, it wasn't. No, no, no, no, it wasn't. It was in Toxin, MacArthur. And I, and I,

I mean, and I felt terrible. And then it's about the whole night groveling. Hey, babe. Hey, buddy.

Sorry, you can make something and you throw it out. And they're like, what happened to that?

What happened to that dolls house? I made out of a huge box that was taking up half of the lounge.

You're like, Oh, it got, it got wet. And then they're like, I'm sorry, buddy.

Oh, no, I see you were so hard on that. Yeah. Someone said, you can leave your pet at home

while you go and have a coffee with your friend or go to work. Apparently you can't do that because

it's frowned upon. You've got to take them everywhere with you.

We were all left at home, though, weren't we? Yeah, a little bit early.

Many happy returns for yesterday. Thank you. Thank you. It was my birthday yesterday.

Your party is a sort of a small function for you, both you and Aaron, who have birthdays two days

apart. Yes. It was Saturday. Yes. And what a, it was a lovely afternoon.

And it was perfect because I talked about, I curated the group quite well.

Bridge of friend bridges. Friend bridges. And didn't they work?

Didn't they work? I saw different friends talking to different friends and I was like,

that's a friend bridge. I was down one end of the table and I was like, I'm going to rotate.

And I didn't feel that thing, you know, when you're like, I better look after that person.

They don't know anyone else. Yes. Yeah. Everyone was just sort of, the bridges were bridging.

Yeah. I've nailed that. Yeah. Didn't mean, I, did mean I couldn't invite some of my other friends

because like bridges weren't strong enough. We, we did learn the difference between Montessori

and Steiner. Didn't we? Yes, we did. For my Steiner friends. One's German, one's Italian. Yeah.

Alternative ways to learn. Yeah. And it was, it was nice. I learned about the casting of,

of TV shows and movies made in New Zealand from one of Aaron's good friends.

There was a bridge made. There was a bridge made. We were very, very interesting.

There was some Star Wars bridges there. It was great. It was a Star Wars chat. Yeah.

Which I, yeah, I liked that as well. And then there was. Do you know what there wasn't?

Dinner in Haley.

Yeah. Cause I looked around and I was like, where's Haley? I said, born, where's Haley?

And I said, where's Haley? And Richard said, Aaron's just taken her home.

And I was like, a big opponent? No, we're not at her birthday party.

Is it 3.34? No, no, no, no, no. I think it was four. Five?

No, it definitely wasn't that late. It was between four to five.

You guys left at what? We left around five-ish. Yeah.

I think I'm looking at my phone. Yeah.

No, you're looking at phone. You left that on the table.

Oh yeah, that's right. Oh really? We rang, we rang. And then the phone started ringing.

And it was on the table. And it was on the table.

Oh, you know, five. Five was still there.

So there's this way that I can always tell when Haley's on, you start like really,

like your hands live in your hair when you're not, not like getting it out of your face.

You're really like, oh, and you get it on. It's like, you know, if you're like,

just trying to shake off the day at the end of the day, you put your hands, well,

I don't have hair, but I've seen people do it. And then put their hands in here and they go,

oh, and they ruffle it up and they throw their hands.

That's when you're getting to the point where it's going to start the decline.

It's like, you know, and then like mid-story, there's like a, a, a hands through the hair.

And I was like, oh, okay, we're at that stage. Yes, you guys.

And that's when I was like, it's four o'clock. Yeah. So you were in bed, what, by five ish?

Yeah. And then I woke up maybe for you, like when it was dark finally.

And it was dark finally. It was like, oh, holy hell, how long have I been here for?

Is it the next day? It was good fun. I always wake up, you're not sure what day it was.

I do admire when I begin my, um, no dinner descent into oblivion, that my ability to just go.

I do it often and I'll just leave. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I wasn't sure whether Aaron saw it coming. No, no, no, no.

I know. So it was you that was like, no, Aaron can't stop this thunderstorm.

God knows he tries. He puts a kite up with a key on the end.

It was your big day and you tapped out early.

Yeah. Wouldn't be the first time. Won't be the last. I loved it. I loved it.

And I thought this morning, could we take some calls? When did you...

I was the last to leave, by the way, if anybody's keeping one for the rock.

This one, I was looking at Fletch when he arrived. I was like,

he's not long for this world because you were hungover.

I was severely hungover and I just wanted to get home and go to bed.

I know. I could see you struggling through a couple of drinks and I was like, oh man,

he's rough, but then you were good. Once you're out over those breakers.

Nice smooth ocean out there. But I thought, could we take some calls?

Did you have to, have you ever had to leave your own party early?

Like it's your big party and maybe you got too drunk.

It's like my friends. Maybe you fell asleep.

I always also just think lots of people, like a big party, too much.

Like they could have, they thought they could host a big 21st or something,

but then when they realized and that, you know, when it was about to happen,

that all eyes were going to be on them, it could be all too much for some people.

I remember being at my friend's wedding and then she came up to me was like, we're going to go.

I was like, what? Oh, she was like, we're so tired. We're so over it. Oh, we're done.

What time was this? Oh, well before the night's cut off. Yeah, they did a dance

and they danced for a little bit, not big drinkers either of them.

And everyone else was kind of, you know, the night was turning into that.

And they were like, we're going. We're out. They left their own wedding.

You've got to stay till the end. No, she was just like, we are with, we're full.

Because they, the bride and groom leave and tinkle, tinkle, there's tins behind a car or

whatever. I don't know if everybody does that, but then you're like, bye.

And then everyone starts wrapping up. Obviously not. No, but not these days.

The bride and groom usually will groom and groom bride and bride tend to stay just as long.

Yeah. But it used to be like that that would all wave you off. So you can go have a bloody

shaggy waggy. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's probably easy to consummate it earlier in the day,

isn't it? Yeah. I love someone just texting saying two words, bottomless branch.

Starts out with good intentions, doesn't it? So, well, let's take your calls. I'll 800 diles it in.

Well, Haley left her own birthday party a little earlier than everybody else

to go to bed. A swift exit. While it was still daylight.

Yes, stunning. A beautiful way to welcome in my 34th year.

We want to know when you left your own party early. Tiana, you did this.

Yeah, so we did. We had recently got engaged and we did like a little intimate dinner and then

drink with everybody afterwards for the drinks. I think we stayed like maybe 45 minutes, not even.

Were you two boozed or tired?

They're so tired. Oh, really? You're just like, oh, gosh.

And was everybody like, what? Like, we're here for you? Stay a bit longer?

Yeah, kind of. But we're like, oh, you guys have fun. Like, you know.

It sounds like you made some bridges with your friends, you know, and then they were able to

look after themselves. Are you going to stay longer at the wedding?

Oh, we'll see how it goes. She's like, mate, no promises.

Tiana, thanks for your call. Hannah, who stayed? Who had to leave their own party early?

Actually, my grandmother. Okay. What party did she leave? Her own 90th birthday party.

Oh, gosh. She's allowed to leave early. She's had too many bloody shandies.

Yeah. Yeah. No, we threw her a party across the road from her house at a vintage car park.

And partway through the afternoon, we were looking for her. Couldn't find her anywhere.

And then we looked into her flat and saw her watching TV at like, wait,

like, I was earlier before everyone else did. Oh, look.

And then at age, you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want.

I love she didn't go home to bed. She went home to watch TV.

Yeah.

Amazing. Chase might have been on. Yeah, Chase.

Keeps the brain shut, playing along. Hannah, thanks for your call. Some messages.

I left my wedding reception early. My husband didn't, though. He stayed on.

Oh, I'm sensing a little bit of a tone there.

I got absolutely steamed at my 21st and last very long at all.

And then my partner took me home and proceeded to stack a cup tower on me.

What do you want about leaving your own party early? No names,

but somebody did the weekend. So we wanted to know your story, some really good stories.

A lot of weddings. Our wedding, we were done by 9 30, grabbed a bottle of wine and shit it in the

shower. Oh, that's hot. Family and friends. Apparently the party went on until 2am.

Wow. I've got a body clock. I had to go to bed early and weddings go too late.

Yeah, they do.

And you're always stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, beautiful destination wedding. I've now got to catch a bus down a windy road to get over.

Yeah. He says the guy who got married on Wake Island.

Yeah. Everybody had definitely catch the bus.

Yeah, we were stuck there, weren't we? Yeah.

I had my 21st about a month ago at home. The anxiety of being center of attention,

plus a bit too much booze wasn't a good combo. I took myself to bed just before 10.

Oh, yeah. I woke up at 4am to find the party still going hard in the living room.

Glad my absence didn't kill the vibe.

Did you join back in?

Back to bed, or did you join back in?

All right, guys, I'm good now.

I fell asleep at my own 21st before midnight, but my mum wanted to keep

partying, so it didn't take me home until almost 2am. She woke me up and said,

it's time to go home now. I thought that's what was going on.

I just imagine you carried her in the car.

Put you in someone's spare room.

My wife left our wedding just after the dinner. She was overall smiling for photos in the tight

dress. She said she felt like she was going to faint, so he took her home.

She left me to it, and she popped back later in the night when she was feeling a little

bit better in her track pants for a dance.

Yeah, I'd do that.

Yes.

Spent a week or so organising my 21st, paid for everything.

There then worked that day, then really couldn't be bothered doing the 21st,

so when the boys came to pick me up, I hid in the cupboard for 40 minutes until they left.

So just didn't go at all?

Just was like, I phone on, do not disturb, in a cupboard.

I'm out.

Just hide, and they're just like, well, can I get out of there?

Well, let's go.

My 21st, I was in the middle of a journey. I was sick as a dog.

All I wanted to do was go home and get into bed, but I had to stay.

Because my sister, who was going to be sober driver, ended up drinking instead.

And so I had to sober drive everybody, feeling sick on my own 21st.

My cousin's 40th birthday party.

It was a house party.

It was 80s themed.

I've already gone all out, including the birthday boy, Freddie Mercury.

He was free here to massage.

Fake tan, fake teeth at the works.

He looked amazing.

We arrived at 6.30pm.

He handed us a welcome drink, and that was the last time we saw him.

He was in bed by 7.

He's a super lightweight, and he'd had a couple of drinks to loosen up before we got there,

and that was enough.

That's always the kicker.

My dad ran and jumped into a taxi and said, drive, drive, drive on his stag do.

Well, his mates were deciding what bar to go to next, and he just had enough.

So he absolutely bailed.

Love that.

Left, drive, drive, drive, drive, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

My husband left his stag do early, maybe around 7pm,

his best man sent him home in an Uber.

Oh, sent him home.

He was in floral pink leggings, a coconut bar in a mermaid work.

He'd lost his voice, had red eyes from doing stuntman shots.

That's where you snort the salt, drink the tequila, and then squeeze lemon in your eye.

Thanks.

He was smashed in fall asleep, sitting up with his legs spread wide on the couch.

There you go.

And you're looking at your husband to be like, oh, yay.

This is really hot.

Play ZM's Fletch Von and Hayley.

Now, this will come as a huge surprise to you both,

but I don't like doing anything for New Year's Eve.

It's not that it's not.

You don't want big, elaborate plans.

This will really come as a surprise to you.

Yeah.

So when the idea was floated with a couple of mates,

what are you doing and they didn't have any plans?

I was like, well, we could totally do like a low key, go to a place,

hang out and sort of get something to eat and sit about if the weather's nice

and have a couple of drinks and then go back two hours and just sit around and do that small group

thing where you reminisce about times gone by and tell stories and then just go to bed at a decent

hour.

And you were at home so you can sneak off whenever you want.

Hell yeah.

As he is want to do.

A small group of what you can be across everybody's wants and needs and then ignore

them completely and go to bed.

So that was I was like, OK, that's doable.

So when did you plan this months ago?

No, no, no.

Probably like a couple of weeks ago.

So yeah.

And the fellas out.

OK.

And so that was I was like, OK, I'm happy with that.

Nerds, was it your nerd friends?

Um, one of just my friends that they the guys I do play D&D with them.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

But they just I was wondering why we were it's a new part of the original.

It's a new you had plans and you were overseas.

Yeah.

Fletcher's never here.

So it would be never for Christmas.

It would be lovely for you to invite.

Well, it would be pointless to be invited.

It would be nice.

Yeah, you'll be invited.

You to my small thing.

Yeah.

Thank you.

You'll be having a white Christmas summer and Haley will be having a white New Year's here.

I was just like, this is just I knew you had plans.

I will be drinking white wine.

Then at Haley's gathering on Saturday,

Shade is like, what are you doing for New Year's to people?

And I'm immediately like, oh, all right.

Because I know you can't just invite one of this group.

This was the move is a collective.

This is a great this was the greatest caravan.

Aren't they?

They're like a wagon caravan.

They'll circle the they'll circle the wagons to protect themselves.

And if there's an outside threat and I was like, oh, what's she doing here?

And then it was just like slowly, but surely like dominoes falling.

Everybody got invited.

Everyone is coming to your house for New Year's.

Everybody invited.

And then I was I was like, well, let's change tact a little bit.

Let's go to that place.

We're going to go to turn the afternoon for longer.

And then Shade is like, no, you'll be fine.

You'll be fine on the barbecue for everybody.

She's like, yeah, exactly.

She's like, no, he loves it.

He loves it for himself or for a very small group.

They're like, I'm not a catering service.

I'm not doing it all up.

So great.

It was fantastic.

And you know, I've changed my plans in order to watch the sun fall.

Yeah.

Well, what I've done is I've invited our friends

that we were just going to have New Year's worth two Vaughns.

So I've actually just added two more.

They were welcome.

And then I was loving the look on.

I started inviting people to Vaughns for New Year's.

I was like, I've got multiple group chats on the go being like,

where we at?

We, we accumulate at Vaughns.

Well, I was just like, what are we doing this for?

I thought we'd established plans like,

so now you're going to have about 30 or 40, 40.

She's lippy.

She's lippy.

I'll give it to her.

She's lippy.

Just.

And then you thought it was,

everybody just thought it was a bit of talk.

And then yesterday she messaged the group being like,

I need numbers to make this book.

Do you know what I, I tried to do a soft bail.

I messaged back and said, oh, no, we do have plans and don't know.

And then Aaron was like, oh, why don't we just get them to come along?

And so we bet we came back in.

They're back in.

Yeah.

Numbers are up.

Well, we were going to have New Year's and hours,

but every day I sort of feel like, you know,

we might not be quite ready.

So it works for us.

Why would you want that many people at your nice house?

A question I asked myself.

You've got a very nice house.

So what's the plan?

Like what's, and I was just like, well, I don't know.

What do you mean?

What's the plan?

They're like, where are we all sleeping?

We're sleeping.

Yeah.

Then Vaughn starts telling people to bring 10s.

And now he's going to have some kind of.

You're not coming inside the house.

I'm not having some sort of Marae situation

of everybody sleeping on the floor.

Oh, that'll be fun.

No.

So it's going to be some kind of B dub campground,

kind of R and B situation.

Well, the locals, we could spread.

Well, the locals can spread

because there's a few of us that live near you.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, I said, I just didn't know if you've got a 10.

I just didn't know where to drag you

and throw like put you if you've had enough.

That's why you need to be 10.

And it needs to be labelled.

So great.

It was so great to see your wife inviting everybody

right in front of you.

Real bad strain of COVID just between Christmas and New Year's.

Right.

That'd be lovely.

Maybe you don't, it's not official to isolate now.

So that's not even an excuse.

I'm old school when it comes to isolating.

I'm old school.

I think we should just lock in the country

for another six weeks, to be honest.

God, I'm looking forward to it.

Just so you can get out of your New Year's party.

Yeah.

Fletch, we'll zoom you in.

Fantastic.

From wherever in the world you'll be.

Next on the show.

How to know if your friends actually just hate you.

Does this happen to me?

Does this invite other friends around to your New Year's party?

Yeah, I know, not you.

And we're a second thought.

We're second tier invites, aren't we?

No, that's not how.

I'll tell you how next.

Zerim, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Here, I want to show you guys.

Okay, no, I'm going to share this with you.

Then I want to show you something.

Okay.

So a TikToker is revealed the way that she puts her friends

to the test to see if they secretly hate her.

Now this TikToker has beautiful, long, kind of,

Albany red hair.

Yeah.

And she says the sign that someone in your life

secretly hates you is to ask them

if you should cut your hair short.

And if they say, oh my God, yes, chop it all off.

It'll look so good on you.

They hate you.

And they want to see you look ugly.

They want to see you mangle your stunning long hair

and make you look like a loser.

Now, this is the same as when you say to your friends,

like, I'm thinking of getting bangs.

If they say, oh my God, you should totally do that.

It would suit you so much.

They hate you.

Now I'm going to give you a case in point.

I asked these two beautiful women in my life

who I used to live with, if I should get bangs

when we're at drama school, they said, oh my God,

it will suit you so much.

Now, it doesn't.

This photo, but why did you get them over your eyes?

Why not just take a little bit more?

I'm so sad you can still see.

Who's in the Addams family this weekday?

But it's over your eyes.

Just it was not for me.

That photo must go on our social media immediately.

Who didn't like that?

Who didn't like that?

They at least growled it.

Wait, so that's how you knew.

Are you still friends with those two girls?

For some God-forsaken reason, I am.

Wow, because that did not look good.

What year was that?

No, it's not that bad.

That was 2000.

I don't know if I've seen worse.

10, which was the end of my second year at drama school.

And I just do not have a face for a fringe.

No, it doesn't work.

I honestly just don't think so.

How does this work for bald guys?

How do we test if our friends like us?

You could say, do you think I should get hair plugs,

but just the fringe?

Remember that haircut from the 90s?

That was my haircut when I was a kid growing up,

number four all over with a little fringe,

but not too long because Mum didn't want it getting long

because the naughty kids had real long fringes.

Yes.

Yeah, and rat's tail.

Rat's tail, long fringes.

Yeah, so I asked my friends,

oh, I think I'm thinking I might get a fringe.

I might get a fringe.

And they were like, oh my God, yes, it'll look so cool.

Maybe they were just trying to be supportive.

But you're saying a true friend would say, no, don't do it.

You don't have the face for it.

But then you get the shits of them

for doubting that you can possibly pull it off.

That my face could pull it off,

but I've got a very moon-like face.

You don't frame a moon-like face with a straight,

so that you cut it in half with a fringe.

Apparently there's more ways you can tell your friends how you-

That's what Liam Wright's song said.

Can't fringe the moon, face it.

Can't fringe the moon.

So they tell you to cut your long, beautiful hair

into a bob or a pixie cut.

Like, oh my God, you've got such the attitude for it.

You could totally do it.

They never like any of your posts on social media.

They hate you.

They post ugly photos of you online.

No, no, no, this is all...

You're getting inside your own head too much.

They post ugly photos of you online.

You're looking who liked your photo

and then working out who didn't,

and don't get tied up in all that stupid shit.

They encourage you to wear or buy clothes that don't suit you.

Again, they might just be empowering you.

If you're like, yeah, I want to try this,

and you're like, yes, girl, do it.

But who said this to me?

I wouldn't put it past women to do that.

My friend Shari the other day said to me that I need to...

I feel like it was going to be those damn women.

Shari said to me,

I need to get into wearing low-rise jeans.

That's my problem, Miriam.

I said, no, we need to tuck.

And she said, what?

And I said, tuck the...

tuck the gun.

And then she said, no, no, no, people aren't tucking anymore.

They're flopping over top.

Or like a muffin top.

Yeah, I was like, no, Shari.

Now, I think she might be doing me duty here

and then Shari actually...

She wants you to fail.

Secretly.

Hates me.

Hates you.

No, stop all of this.

Everybody stop this.

She's my hairdresser.

Next, you'll be telling me, oh, let's cut a fringe.

Let's do some bangs.

Referencing my own photo that I believe

we're going to put up on social media.

Oh, yeah, as soon as it gets sent, yeah.

Yeah.

That'll do.

Are the two ever going to get a fringe?

Well, Sophie's kind of got one in the middle of the year.

Yeah, I mean, you'll see those two next to me, stunning women.

And then a real dog on the left.

And that's...

That's no.

That's because they've encouraged that.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's our Fact of the Day

and this week is Roller Coaster Week.

At Fact of the Day.

I must actually find the email to say thank you

for the person that pointed me in this direction.

Where is he?

What is his name?

His name is Mike.

Mike.

And Mike Hiscox.

Hiscox.

I think Mike lives in the UK.

That's what he was talking about is like that.

It's his name and he is sick of this nonsense.

OK, sorry.

Mike H is his email thing.

But he thought what he did is he composed this

in his work email and then sent it to his personal email

and then sent it to me.

Right.

His personal email.

Rockin' a yahoo.

Is he?

He's rockin' a yahoo.

Yahoo.co.nz.

He said I found some facts.

I thought you might be able to use one of these.

And some of them that we have used before

and I was just like, well actually the first one

he sent was about a roller coaster.

So I was like, that's cool.

Yeah.

I think we could do roller coaster week.

There'll be enough interesting facts about roller coasters.

So today's Fact of the Day is the first roller coaster

in 1884 was...

Oh.

Well, I don't know if I'll be trusting

in 1884 roller coaster.

It only went real slow.

Ah, okay.

It only went real slow.

How slow?

It was nine kilometers an hour.

And you sat sideways in it.

Ooh, really?

Like side.

And I hate when you go on a bus or a train

and there's a little wheel.

Backwards?

Backwards is worse.

Backwards, I feel sick.

I'm all right. Backwards, side just puts you right off.

Yeah.

I got to start facing forward.

That's my way to travel.

It was by a man who had made his millions

in the hosiery business.

Stockings and such.

Oh my god, pantyhose.

Lamarcus Thompson had lived in Central,

not Central America.

Middle America.

Yeah.

But when he got sick, he was like,

well, I'm going to go and live by the seaside.

And the seaside he chose to live by was New York.

Oh, yeah.

And he was...

He did not like that all of the attractions

in New York were what he can...

What he considered to be hedonistic places

like brothels and saloons.

And he said we needed some good old-fashioned fun.

Yeah.

So he invented a roller coaster that,

yeah, you sat in sideways

and from that high point,

it just rolled down a series of ups and down hills.

Oh, yeah.

And it was on the Inconi Island along the pier.

Yep.

So for a start, you were just looking at the pier

and then he said, you know what?

We could just paint anything and put it up

and we could do it like it's a tour of America.

So it was called a switchback railway.

That was what the first roller coaster was called.

And you would look out one way and go down

and then you get to the end

and they'd put it on a little lift

and they'd lift it up.

And then it would go back down the other way.

And when you would face different ways in each direction

so that you would see a different painted scene.

Wow.

So that was the first one that was commercially invented.

Are there photos of it?

Yep.

There's old black and white photos and fourings of it.

Sounds like it would be rickety.

Oh, it would be very rickety.

Have you been on a wooden roller coaster?

Yes.

They're so fun.

Been on the one and what's one in California?

The...

Not so very farm.

Yes.

That's the big one.

I've been on that one.

That's amazing.

Is that what they use for the opening of classic

90s family sitcoms?

Step by step?

Step by step.

No, step by step.

D-bar, D.

Fresh dirt all over it.

Sure, but they would be in San Fran.

Not so very farms.

No, because if you...

Inland, is it?

It's inland.

Inland, yeah.

Yeah, no, no, no.

They photoshopped it.

It's the world's worst photoshopping.

Is it?

If you remember the TV show Step by Step,

it was like a modern day Brady Bunch.

Dad with kids meets woman with kids.

Patrick, Duffy, Suzanne, Summers.

Oh, what a comical mixing of different families.

I remember there being a rollercoaster on the intro.

At the start, yeah.

There was a rollercoaster right at the end.

That was a wooden rollercoaster.

Yeah, that's very cool.

That one at Knott'sbury Farm.

Very cool.

Yeah.

So that was invented and opened in 1884,

the switchback railway of Colony Island,

to stop people seeking sinful activities,

such as brothels and saloons.

Yeah.

I've got a lot of other factor the days about rollercoasters.

I'm really excited for this one.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I will teach you about

a rollercoaster that for half the day worked

and for half the day played.

What?

Okay.

You've hooked me on.

Can we go live Friday from the rollercoaster at Rainbow's Inn?

You can.

Absolutely.

We can sort that out for you.

Thank you.

Absolutely.

That's good.

That's good.

It's over in like 20 seconds.

The corks grow.

Is that it?

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.

So there in 2021, early 2021,

so nearly, nearly three years ago, two and a half years,

Olivia Bailey lost to a cat, Bowie.

Now this is a fancy wancy cat,

one of those rescued from the breeder kinds.

Yeah, I rescued mine from a breeder.

Devon Rex.

It's a Devon Rex.

What's a Devon Rex?

A Devon Rex cat.

Oh, fancy, fancy, fancy.

Kind of looks like a mini,

one of those giant ones that everyone gets.

Mankoon.

Yeah, it looks like a mini Mankoon.

Oh, it does.

Oh, it does.

Oh, it does.

Mankoon.

Do you know what a Mankoon looks like?

Yeah, they're giant.

Is this guy an idiot?

It looks like a Sphinx with hair.

Thank you.

That's what it is.

It's a tall and short-haired breed of cat

that emerged in England in the late 1950s.

They are known for their slender bodies,

wavy coat, large ears, breeder cat, blah, blah, blah.

They're puby, they're puby.

I remember seeing one of the things on the street,

and I loved it.

They're capable of running difficult tricks.

But a difficult to motivate.

Like me.

Difficult to motivate.

Well, she lost Bowie, like extensive search

on all the social medias,

posters up on the street,

that kind of thing.

After a while, accepted, Bowie was dead.

He's not coming home.

He's not coming home.

Like David Bowie, his namesake, dead.

Why'd you get to bring that up?

I don't know.

Why'd you get to bring that up?

Sometimes I forget that David Bowie died.

And he did.

Anyway, apparently, what actually turned out

was an old woman had spotted the cat,

assumed he was a stray, and took a man.

Assumed a cat that was from a breeder.

It was a stray.

Because if I saw this cat, I'd be like, yuck.

They don't look like a really posh cat.

It looks like you need a feed.

Yeah.

I remember we had one of these living near us,

and its name was Van.

And I fell in love with it.

And I touched him and he felt like pubes.

Anyway, so he went missing.

Bowie went missing in Levin.

This old woman spotted him five hours north

in Waikato in Tiaroha.

Five hours.

God knows how this happened.

She stole him when she was in Levin.

She stole him when she was in Levin.

She drove by and was like, oh, I like that.

Never check the cat's microchip.

Named him Aura and took him in as her own.

Even taking him to regular vet appointments.

All was good.

Until recently, she got unwell.

The old lady and couldn't care for him.

So he took it to another place, to this woman

called Bee, who lives in Auckland.

This cat's far from home.

And then Bee was going to find this cat

a new loving home for the rest of its days.

And then took it to the vet and they microchipped it

and was like, this cat's from Levin.

And then eventually found their way back

to the original owners.

And Bowie, aka Aura, aka Bowie,

has been returned to its original owner.

After like two and a half years.

So she sent the woman a message and was like,

I think I might have your cat.

And the woman was like, get out.

But you would have moved on.

You might have already taken in a new cat lover.

Yeah, they have got another cat.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, but I mean, it's fine.

They're back. They're reunited.

She's happier than ever.

Two and a half years old.

There's some adventures under her name.

My cat hasn't come back, has it?

From the dead.

Yeah.

No, despite my ritual, my ritual casting,

your cat is still dead in the ground.

In Bowie's backyard.

My cat, Shaq, she went missing

and did that thing where they take themselves away to die.

Yes.

Like, she was very unwell and very, very old.

But we never found her.

What's her rhyming?

Yeah, and I just, we don't know where she went.

Smokey did that when we were growing up on the farm.

Never found the bones or anything, or we never found her.

No.

Well, they probably just get eaten, right?

Like, as dramatic as scavengers, like birds.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, poor bit of smokey, getting packed by some.

It's the circle of life.

That is my beloved 17-year-old cat.

His longings are fortune.

That's just life, though.

No, you're a freckless one.

Smokey will be under the deck somewhere.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, that's what we thought when we looked at him.

You'll be under the deck.

Well, it still cuts up my family.

Anyway, I want to know if we could take some calls

and get some messages in of when you became someone else's pet's new owner.

My parents did this.

They had a red cat that kept visiting them to the point that they were like...

That's ours now?

Yeah, you can just be here, I guess.

And then they moved house, and they thought it was weird to take the cat with them.

But they did?

No, they abandoned it.

Not abandoned it.

Wait, so they take her for someone's pet?

No, they just assumed it was going between houses.

But then also, a lot of cats can cat around a bit.

They'll have food at lots of pet's places.

They'll becky about the place.

They'll becky about?

Rolly got real fat one year, and we were like,

you're beckying about a bit.

Yeah, he's getting fed.

Because we haven't changed the dye out.

Don't need to sell for some jelly, mate.

Yeah, exactly.

Because you only fed him dry biscuits.

Only dry biscuits.

I wonder he went looking.

No.

I wonder he went looking.

He's just like...

He's just like...

I'm sick of this dust.

And then she broke my glass at the weekends.

I got to eat in drinks and stop the coughing from the dry dust.

We want to tell you calls.

I'll 800-diams-an-m-text-in-9-6-9-6.

When did you take over someone else's pet?

And if you moved and took it with you,

wow, the audacity, the balls.

Oh, my God, this happened.

I'll tell you a story after this to get the ball rolling.

We want to know this morning why or when

you took over somebody's pet.

Yeah.

Now, I said I had a story because this reminded me of...

My parents lived next to an elderly lady for many, many years.

And one of their cats just sort of ended up going there a lot.

And then she fed it and gave it all the jelly meat and stuff.

So Pippi decided she wanted to live there.

OK.

Then the old lady died.

And then the old lady's family came in

and took Pippi to the SPCA.

That's my parents' cat.

But it was your cat.

Yeah, man.

My parents had had it for like 10 years.

But Pippi just like visited there.

And so when they got there to clean out the house,

they talked Pippi to the effing SPCA.

Wait, did your parents go and get it?

They found out too late.

By the time they went there, it had been adopted.

They have no idea where this cat is.

Oh, my gosh.

That is a wild story.

I couldn't believe it.

Pippi, if you're out there, God, sorry.

Pippi was 11, I think.

Oh, yeah.

Cats don't live that long.

That was a couple of years ago.

Yeah.

Brianna, when did you take over somebody's pet?

It was a couple of years ago now.

And it was a cat that belonged to a house a couple of doors down.

And it was absolutely beautiful.

Like one of those long-haired grey cats.

Oh, yeah.

Nice.

And I just seduced it over a period of weeks

to the point where it was sick.

Seduced it with your good food and yeah.

Yeah.

Warm laps.

Platonicly seduced it.

And then we just had this cat that would come and sleep with us

and hang out with us on weekends for some months.

And then it showed up with a scratch on its head and stitches.

And I felt really bad because I didn't know if it needed medicine.

And also I couldn't afford medical bills or a fancy cat

because then I took it back.

And I was like, I'm really sorry for living with us.

Well, so you love down here on this cat

until the responsibilities that came with it.

You were like, yeah, it's your problem.

It's expensive.

Not my cat.

It was like cat with benefits.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No strings are catched.

Yes.

That was good.

And then what were the owners just like?

Oh, thanks.

They know they had no idea.

They thought, you know, it was 100% loyal to them.

The name was actually Pikachu.

And I'm like, wow.

They had no idea the cat was sleeping around.

No.

Wow.

Absent.

It's selling absent owners, to be honest.

Yeah, it is.

Brianna, thank you for your call.

Some messages in.

Someone said, this cat thievery happened to me.

I had a main kern called Wolf.

The neighbour was an elderly lady

said of petting him after I had my baby.

And it obviously was a bit too much

for him having a baby around.

We couldn't work out where he was disappearing to.

Two years with the fighting him to come home.

Walked down to her house and politely asked her to stop feeding him.

She said she'd named him Smokey.

And she felt really bad,

but she'd recently lost her husband and her own cat.

What would you just feel like?

OK, just have it.

So I don't know if that was one sort of tragic cat man accident

or if it was within a close period of time.

But he's a $1300 cat lady,

so he's been fitted with a tracker

and I'd set off a high-pitched beeper

every time I went into his house

and he'd run back to us.

Oh, my God.

Jeepers.

People that are just stealing animal sleep right in centre.

This is wild.

So a cat turned up after two and a half years missing,

where it had been living with an old lady who had renamed it.

Turned up in Auckland after originally being in Levin.

Levin.

So someone obviously cat-napped it,

took it to Hamilton.

Yeah.

And then, of course, the lady.

And then Hamilton took it to Auckland.

And now it's back in Levin.

Oh, my God.

This cat is living Levedaloka.

Should we just call the show the era?

It's not getting any better, is it?

It's not getting any better than that.

We want to know when you've taken over someone's pet

or someone's done this to you.

Yeah, be it by choice or not.

Here are some wild stories.

Good morning.

Morning, guys.

Good.

This is your son's cat.

Yeah, well, he was.

So we had him for probably about six months.

And then he just kind of started not coming home.

Like he'd come home and eat and then run away.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then maybe like after a couple of months of that,

our neighbours had a garage sale a few doors down.

And so we went down to check it out.

And we've seen our cat sitting on their back doorstep.

And so we started calling his name.

And the woman packed him up and said,

no, no, his name's not there.

His name's Sam and took him inside.

And we were just like, oh, OK, I'm pretty sure that's our cat.

But OK, see you, Sam.

Wow.

So she just was like, no.

My no.

And my son was like, he would have been about eight at the time.

And he was like, mum, that's our cat.

And I was kind of just like, well, I think it might be theirs now.

So did you get your son a new cat or?

No, we got a dog instead.

Oh, you're much more loyal.

You're much more loyal.

Cats just don't care, do they?

I don't have.

Thank you, Tom.

This is your mum.

She took over someone's cat.

Yes, she doesn't.

First sleep.

I am first.

A long time with my first one.

Oh, this is the bell.

Let me press the bell.

Yay.

Welcome.

Welcome, Tom.

Thank you very much.

You know, my mother's actually stolen two cats

over the last sort of seven to eight years.

Oh, my god.

The first of which actually died last week.

But that's the point.

Wait, who? Your mum or the cat?

The mum or the cat?

No, the cat.

Oh, I don't think he would have been so notional with mum dying last week.

Last week.

That's right.

No, he might have done it.

Anyway, the second one is a long-haired, fluffy, white thing

which I call the toilet brush because it sort of looks like.

Oh, yeah.

And jokes on her, actually, because what they didn't know

is when they eventually sort of semi-adopted or pseudo-adopted it,

the cat's very nervous.

So it requires sedation to get hair clipped and stuff.

So it costs them about $300 every three or four months

to get the hair done now.

Yeah, because they can't clean themselves, can they?

No, no, no.

Yeah, because a lot of people with those fluffy, white cats,

Reg, does have to wipe their bottom.

You wipe the bum.

Yeah, not cool.

That's a no for me.

Yeah, no.

So, no.

Yep.

Can you unadopt the cat?

Could she be like, too much.

Unadopt.

Well, I subscribe.

The cats with sisters and the neighbors

have still got the other one, but they can't really

give the other one back.

What?

The neighbors?

I love how people are just rolling over when people take their cats.

Yeah, I know.

I've just been like, oh, OK, well, it's fine.

It's a principle.

It's not mine.

I would just absolutely storm their house down

and be like, give it back.

Tom, thanks for you calling some messages in to finish.

Somebody said, my son smuggled a cat into the garden shed

and would sneak out and feed it.

He was living in this garden shed.

Said it that it followed him home from school.

10 years later, we moved house, took our cat to the new house

where he lived out the days.

Boys felt bad that we'd stolen somebody's pet cat.

And I remember after he died, we kind of like googled what breed he was.

And it turned out it was a nebulon breed,

which is very posh for expensive cats.

Oh, someone's invested in them.

Nebulon.

Nebulon.

This sounds like something from Star Wars.

It does.

It sounds like it would have tentacles coming out of its back or something.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's cute.

Oh, yeah.

Gray, long-haired, almost made it turny.

I'd call that wolf.

That's a good wolf.

A rapid-degree breed of domestic cats.

Call that wolf.

My grandmother, who has dementia, had a cat turn up,

and then she renamed it Mitzi.

When it died, another cat appeared from nowhere.

But due to dementia, she just believes this is also Mitzi.

After that one passed away, a kitten appeared from nowhere.

And you know who that was?

Mitzi.

That was Mitzi.

No idea where that one came from either.

That's going to be me with them all.

You just have multiple cats.

But your brain's just like, that's Mitzi.

You've got to laugh.

She'll never be sad because she'll never lose another pet.

One day, in a lucid moment, she's going to do the math

on how old this cat is.

And she's probably going to try to enter it

and get us both all wrecked.

Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards.

So.

Well, that means the show's backwards, then, isn't it?

We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse?

And hopefully they'll work out the other way.

Here, this, this, this, this.

This, this, this.

This, this, this.

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