ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 6th September 2023

The ZM podcast network. The Fleshhorn and Haley big pod. Treat yourself to

McCafe coffee with my MACAs rewards. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fleshhorn

and Haley. It's two minutes past six. Wee. There we go. microphone's on now. Well Haley

is an Invercargill today. She's on the seven days live tour across the country.

Bit glitchy, but a few technical issues. Well Invercargill just got the internet and they're

ironing out a few crinkles. They are gonna love the World Wide Web though. They're gonna love it.

So we'll hopefully have Haley joining us soon on the show. Steve off. Steve's on the internet to

get a good connection to Haley. So once Steve's off. I think Steve's playing on

himself. I can cast aspersions on Invercargill Steve. Eating breakfast and reading the news.

Southland Steve. That's what he tells us misses. But why is he doing it with the door shut?

It's a good question. That's what I want to know. Wednesday today. So today, tomorrow and Friday the

last three days for you to win Taylor Swift tickets. Make sure you're listening at 8, 12 and 4 for the

three Taylor Swift songs. Be the first call of through when that happens. And you win a double

pass to see her live at one of her sold out Sydney shows. Plus everybody that wins tickets goes in

the draw. Thanks to New Zealand's Grave Seat for flights. Top six on the way. Well you may or may

not have heard the news that someone whose last name is Honeycomb was attacked by bees. Now this is

Mrs. Honeycomb. Mrs. Honeycomb survived. But this is very funny. It's very ironic. I don't care who

you are. That has got to put a little smile on your face. Yeah. So I have the top six other people

that were attacked by animals that was very ironic due to their names. Right. Okay. Yeah. I've got

some time. I'll come up with a slightly more articulate way of saying that. That was very long.

Yeah. Next drawn out. Next on the show, British expats. So the Brits that have moved to New Zealand.

My dad was one of these. He was. Yeah. Back in the day. He loved a winch. Oh, I don't. All

Poms love a winch. Poms love a winch. And then also we love a winch too. It was because of our

Pommy heritage. Yeah. Kiwis love a winch as well. But British expats have kind of given some

feedback about us Kiwis about living here. And I'll tell you what, it's not great. It's not great news.

Yeah. Stuff them. Stuff them. Piss off home.

British expats have revealed struggles with living in New Zealand. This is a story that I

brought to us by news home. What's the difference to an immigrant and an expat? Is it the colour

is going to face it? Honestly, if you're white people call you an expat. But if you're not,

they're like all the immigrants. Like, do you know what I mean? That's all that it feels

to the difference. Yeah. The expats not stay for as long. Yeah, I feel like expats are sort of

just hanging around for a bit. By the way, Haley's back. Hi guys. Well, we've sorted our technical

difficulties. Right. Another one. Shout out to the the Ascot Park in the Cargill reception area.

Tell people where you are. You'll have people come and asking for Taylor Swift tickets.

Oh my God, everyone, no matter where I go. Hey, what's the secret? Listen to 8 and 12 and say

that song. You're running into a lot of 1940s CD Gangs, that's how I say it. I'm interested in the

Swift tickets. All right, brawn. Tell me where the secret is for the tickets. But my parents,

right back on topic, please, I'm all about the professionalism here. My parents who live in

Italy for half the year, they call themselves expats because they haven't left New Zealand.

So it's an immigrant if you move there. Is it that you move with no intention of coming back?

A person who lives outside their native country is an expat. Okay. Immigrant.

That's right. I think maybe it's because we've dealt with so much like poison in the tongue of

the word immigrant. Yes. You know, and we're about to because of election. But yeah, a person who

comes to live permanently in a foreign country as immigrant expat, maybe not got the permanent

attachment. Right. A British expat living in New Zealand has caused a stir, sharing how difficult

they find cultural differences between New Zealanders and Brits, admitting that they've

struggled fulfilling relationships since arriving four years ago. So this person's based in Wellington

and they shared anonymously on the Facebook community Brits in New Zealand.

And a lot of comments quickly attracted on this post. People are agreeing, saying that New

Zealanders lack an interest in forming deeper connections, adding that they feel like- I'll

tell you why they sound high maintenance. I don't want anything to do with them.

And people also saying that they missed the UK banter. We've got bad banter. No, we haven't

We've got great banter. Listen to this. Our whole show is banter.

But I guess you don't want to banter with a stranger if you don't know them. You're just like,

ah, is that it? Maybe. Maybe we closed off. Also, when we go to the UK, all we do is hang out with

New Zealanders. So no, we've got no banter with Brits. No, South African living in the cupboard

and a couple of Aussies hanging around. Maybe we just stick to our humor spheres, you know?

Maybe that's the album. I think we've got a bit of banter.

Well, you know, but you're very closed. You wouldn't. You don't like making new friends,

do you? You've got enough. You're a shut book. Gosh, I've been thumbing my way in there for years.

Shelly wants to go out for dinner this weekend. I'm just like, why would we go out for dinner

this food year? Oh, no. And the warriors are on. And you've got to get up the wires, of course.

But the British aren't known for their great humor. I mean, British comedy is fantastic.

Yeah, but that's the cream of the crop. Not these scumbags that can't make it at home,

so they come and try here. Yeah, right. God, I'm really going in on that.

You're really going in. I don't take it well when someone slags off our fine little country.

Yeah, but maybe they've got a point, you know, as I'm going to say. Why don't you go home then?

Wow. We're just saying maybe we need to be a bit more open-minded,

bit more, you know, make some new friends. To the plainest, whitest people around.

Well, there's no problem open-mindedness to the Brits.

We to everybody. No, but to everybody. Yeah. I reckon this is just a British problem.

This has got big British wins written all over it. Okay, look, I'm just going to talk to people who

face real discrimination when they come here is what I'm saying. Yeah. You know, the British

wander in here. They could until they open their mouths and you see their teeth. I mean,

but then saying that our dental hygiene is pretty shocking at the moment. Have you seen these stats?

Oh my God, you know, we stopped brushing our teeth during the pandemic. We just stopped.

Yeah, that's not what they're there for, guys. You've got to brush them twice a day.

Okay, this just feels like a British winch to me.

Okay. Next on the show, silly little poll. How do you store your mugs in the pantry?

Are we doing glasses? I think mugs and glasses. I think if you store your mugs a certain way,

you store your glasses the same way. No. Mouth up, mouth down. Not true.

Upple down. Arse up. Arse down. Play. Zudems, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

Well, this one's not so silly. It's how you store your mugs and glasses in the pantry.

Quite serious. This one. Yes. Facing up, meaning mouth open to the sky, meaning dust can fall in.

Facing down, meaning mouth open to the down. Yeah. It's on the duty. It's on the duty shelf.

So what do you do? Clean your shelf, bro. Clean your shelf. It's got a little dusty shelf.

I'm up. I'm up. You're up. My glasses are up. The mugs are up. Yeah. Up tells me you put them

in the cupboard when they're not 100% dry. No, they're always dry. I'll put the dishwasher on

the night before. Do it the next morning. Yeah. I use rinse aid. Yeah. I'll just dry them out.

God, because I used to be glasses up. Mugs down for some reason. God knows why. Yeah. But now I've

just changed to mugs up because I guess I just kill us and free like that. I'd like a mug tree for

the bench. A mug tree. Oh, I love a mug tree. Should be a mug tree. Begging the 80s and 90s, a mug

tree. And they'll always like those rare. They look always like handmade mugs.

My man had some all that were nice and should make you a Milo on one. That was those with

the Milo mugs. I don't like a handmade mug. I like them to be perfectly round. These were handmade

by some shitty kid. Oh, right. These were handmade by like, ah, a potter. Okay, right. Yesterday,

yesterday at the theater in Invercargill, we had those glass, the brown glass mugs. Pyrex?

No, no, Pyrex. No, what are they called? They've got a name. Perti. They're always at, yeah,

yeah, they're always at, Tradies love them. Classic Kiwi mug, Zoza. We were drinking wine

out of it because that was all that was available. Oh, beauty. Aakarok. Oh, yeah. Okay. Aakarok.

Those ones. Yeah, they were begging the 90s. Oh, they were 80s. Oh, yeah, Invercargill just got

those. And they are stoned. But you like those were hung on a hook. Yes, cool stuff. Of course they

were. Well, how did the people respond? Well, the people said facing up 56%, facing down 44%.

Wow. So mouths open to the sky. Only chest size. Real 50-50 almost. Yeah. Danny says, face down means

you stop any dust getting into the cup. That's your theory? Yeah. Yeah. As long as your shelf's

not dusty like horses. Mine of it. No, I don't have a dusty, the dust is more likely to settle than you.

Also, I don't care because I rinse a mug every time. Oh my God, I don't. Even if it's been hanging

there for a year. You waste so much water. Hot water at work. I put the spoon in the cup under

the zip and give it a good like 20 seconds before I use it. If you said Tony Street might have been

lipping that. Yeah, Tony Street might have been using that. You don't want to catch what she's got.

She's immune to it all. She's, yeah, she's funny. Super woman. She's had it all. Sam says,

because of the inside of that cup is even slightly damp. You absolutely do not want that thing faced

down in the cabinet, creating a seal against the wood. Two reasons. Sam's finished, but I'll say

two reasons. Yeah. It's disrespecting the wood. You're gonna get a ring. Always respect the wood.

You're gonna get a ring and then you're gonna get, yeah, the mold growing in the inside there.

Yeah. Rebecca said, makes me feel fancy to have them upside down plus no grubby mitts on the mouth,

but yeah. Fair enough. Who's holding a cup by the lip to put it in the cupboard though?

Always by the handle. Always by the handle. Some people. Grab them out of the dishwasher.

You go three in the finger and then you just go, whoop, bang, up on the shelf. That's what I do.

A lot of fancy mugs don't have handles now. What? I won't drink out of a mug with any. No.

Yeah, I know. I said, I just, I just, I simply won't. Um, neither. Oh, is an OVF

friend of the show. Chicago. Congratulations. What does she do? Her base will turn the cubs

out of when yesterday. Oh, Kia ora. Neither. I have a mug tree that sits in the coffee

bar. She's got a mug tree. Oh, she's got a mug tree. She's got a mug tree. I want a mug tree.

I want a mug tree. She's got a mug tree. And then you say, follow that mug tree. A lot of dust though,

in the kitchen, in the mug tree. Yeah. At least the cupboards are always shut.

Yeah, I guess so. It's just bloody dust everywhere. Well, dusty country.

Nisha says, I have to put my lips on the rim. So I don't want that touching the cupboard.

Yeah. I know I don't clean it enough for it to be that hygienic. Yep. Good call.

You know yourself. Kirsty said, I, you have to put it, I have to have it up for sure. You only

face down to avoid dust getting in there. But it's a, if it's a cupboard with a door that may

prevent dust. If you have it down, think about other yuck germs you're putting on your lips in

the glass. Yeah. I think she's overthinking it. Yeah. She's got a little bit of a worry wart.

Why not? Just don't, I don't have a cup of tea. It's too much worry.

Yeah. It's stress. It's supposed to be a relaxing time. Yeah. And Kirsty says,

why on earth would I want to put my lips on a dusty rim? But it's dusty either way. That's

the theory that people understand. Yeah. See the dust down or it's settling. Yeah. The dust will

settle on the rim when it's facing up. So you're damned if you're doing, you're damned if you're

done. I don't know if I've even ever cleaned my cup cupboard. Maybe once or twice since I've lived

there. Like it just, I don't know. I just never have. Which one's your cup cupboard? Okay. I mean,

you can. In the corner, in the right hand corner. At the top. Yeah. By the fridge.

Honey, but I don't know. It's just always, it's always pretty clean. That thing needs to clean.

Does that? Okay. Yeah. Of course you're manky.

Well, we know the saying that opposites attract. You're like, I don't know why,

but I really like this man. Okay. Is this the only accent I know how to do anymore? It seems

like you have slipped into the southern bell. Yeah. Thank you. But some new research. Well,

it's not new research. This is actually, they've used two hundred and three previous studies that

date back all the way to 1903. And they've combined them all into one big cohesive piece of research

about the theory that opposites attract opposites and personality, lifestyle, blah, blah, blah,

everything. And they found that it's a crock of BS. Essentially, they millions of couples that they

studied. Yeah. And what they found was that basically a lot of the times, excuse me, they,

people who are hitting successful relationships have very similar traits, such as their political

points of view, their religious attitudes, their level of education, intelligence, all of it's

like pretty similar and successful couples. Yeah. I mean, obviously the track was just a way of,

of justifying sleeping with that douche bag. Yeah. Or like the bad boy thing, right? Like,

you're like, oh, opposites attract because I'm going for like this real bad boy, but it never

lasts. No, Charlie, because it's unsustainable. Because sometimes you're in prison too and you

got to wait and then you can't wait that long. How is it? How is it? Give it up on snake. Oh,

not snake. I thought you guys had something. It's the fact that you are opposites and you have

to track it. You're a good boy and such a bad person. Yeah. So they also found that

substance use was usually pretty similar. So if you're a smoker, you tend to be with smokers.

If you're a heavy drinker, you'll be a heavy drinker or your tea totaler. Same thing,

which kind of makes sense because you're trying to create a good lifestyle together. It'd be hard

if, you know, we're sober and someone was a raging alcoholic. Thank God Aaron loves to drink,

that's all I say. And then even deeper than that, they found links between weight, height and medical

conditions. Really? Okay. Is that because you're both drinking yourself to death that you've both

got liver failure? Probably or eating yourself to death or yeah. Or maybe like if medical conditions

you'd think like maybe some empathy, you know, if you had a condition that you were living with,

like a chronic illness or something. Oh, I think because you both live next to the old

nuclear power plant or the former chemicals factory that you're-

You've got a sixth toe on your left foot. So you said height and weight as well.

Yeah. So tallies with tallies, shorties with shorties. Yeah. And that's the way it should

be by the way as a tall woman. Yeah. Nothing drives me mad. Like a short woman with a tall man.

Yeah. You've got so many more options.

You're saying that they're stealing. Nobody would have been with a shorter man.

Yeah. You're just saying they're stealing all the tall men for you.

Okay, right. But what about fatty and skinny? Fatty and skinny, having a bath, fatty to fat,

skinny to laugh. Like there's all these beautiful poems about how successful their relationship

was. Are they the outliers though, according to the study? Yeah, totally. Or probably their

similarities are stronger than that fact that they're different sizes.

Interesting. Because I always find it interesting. I have a couple of friends who have religious

partners, but they're not religious at all. I don't know how that works. That's like political

stuff really. Yeah. And you're like, oh, interesting. Like how you can totally see the world in a

different way like that. They must be hot and really good in bed.

Must be. It's the only explanation, right?

Yes. Hello there to the Channel Islands. We got a friend that lives in one of the Channel Islands.

He lives in Guernsey and this happened in Jersey and I've got a little bit of a rivalry. But the

amount of stories we get out of this part of the world with their low population blows my mind.

Yeah, not many people live there. It's like the Florida of the UK. Maybe you go a bit crazy

thing. Small islands. Yeah, on a small island. Now I said before this was a human that was

stung by bees, but the paragraph says a horse woman. So I'm imagining it's a half horse,

half woman. I wonder which half is the horse. She's into horses. Like a centurion.

Like a centurion. I thought centurion. Yeah, I thought. No. I hoped it was the top half that

was human because it'd be really weird to see a horse up a half trotting around on a human lower

half. That's a funny enemy. Bojack Horseman. Very good. Bojack Horseman energy. A horse woman

named Mrs. Honeycomb is admitted to hospital in the Channel Islands after being stung more than

60 times by a swarm of bees. Carolyn Honeycomb, her sister Jo and Jo's eight-year-old daughter

were horse riding. Now the other horse is bolted, but Mrs. Honeycomb's horse,

Blue, stood still and got stung 60, 80 times and needed urgent medical attention as well. Oh,

goodness. That's pretty scary, but all is well. They're all well. They're all happy.

Everybody's happy. That ends well. Ends well. We did. No, ends. All is well that ends well. The

swelling is done. All is well with the swell wells. The swell subsides. But I mean, people

picking up on the name here, it's very funny. I mean, this is the reason it made

international use. Yeah. Mrs. Honeycomb, stung by bees.

Top six other people attacked by bees that were asking for it. Number six on the list,

did you guys hear about Mr. Picnic? No. Got carried away by ants. Oh, no.

We had to carry him too. Also, I just thought, yeah, we, they picked him up. A tie-wearing

fedora-wearing vine-swinging grizzly bear as well. Right. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, little Picnic.

Number five on the list of the top six people who were attacked by animals that were asking for

it. Did you hear about bees' grandmother was eaten by a monkey? Sorry, not bees' grandmother, be Nana.

Bees, Nana. Bees, Nana. No, that was loose. That was loose.

She was a grandmother. Yeah. Yeah. Bees, Nana. No. Be Nana. Be Nana. Got eaten by a monkey.

Number four on the list of the top six. I hope they get better.

They don't. Top six other people that got attacked by animals that were asking for it.

Did you hear about that old Jewish dude named Sal? They got eaten by a grizzly bear. Last name

Mon. Um, Sal Mon got eaten by a grizzly bear. Sal Mon, a stereo trotter. I think we're not Italian.

They're more Italian than Jewish. Number three on the list of the top six other people attacked

by animals that were asking for it. Did you hear about Mr. Rackers? No. First name, Colin.

Colin Rackers. Colin Rackers. Oh, you may have seen him referred to in the paper as

C. Rackers. C. Rackers was eaten by a parrot.

I thought this was a sitter. You've gone really filled with these names. C. Rackers.

It's C. Rackers. There's what his nickname was. Craig, Craig Rackers. I'm okay. Rackers. Yep.

Here's how it goes here. Number two on the list of the, um, top six other people attacked by animals

that were asking for it. Mrs. Carrot. Okay, what happened to her? She got nibbled by bunnies.

Okay. Didn't even try that one. Did you miss his carrot? That's just Mrs. Carrot. That was the,

I think that was the second one I wrote. I think the order I wrote them in went six, two.

Mr. Picnic, carry by ants. Mrs. Carrot nibbled by bunnies. Then I went five B. Nanas, B's Nana.

Then I worked my way through four, three, and this is, um, this is number one on the list of the

top six other people attacked by animals that were asking for it. A squirrel nibbled Mr. Pea's nuts.

I mean, his name was Mr. Pea. Yeah. He should have been watching those nuts.

Yeah. Because of peanuts. It was a squirrel. Look, I mean, the worst part was the squirrel

shoved one on one cheek and one on the other cheek. Yeah. It's hard to believe that I'm the

comedian on tour at the moment. We've got these. I know. Well, they didn't ask. They didn't ask

all to happily. I'm really surprised. What have they been bowed up in a motel in a

vicar will tell them these sorts of carackers.

I repeat a B's Nana who got eaten by a monkey. B's Nana. The worst one yet. This is today's top six.

Now a lot of trends on TikTok, right? A lot of fashion trends, a lot of makeup trends,

but this one's had 170 million views in the last week. Okay. That means it's popping off.

Now, I don't know much about TikTok, but for me, that means it's popping off.

This is called the unapproachable makeup trend. Now, for me, when I've always done makeup, I've

always tried. Oh, I used to, I was about to say I've got big eyes, but then I started getting

up at four and they've shrunk. They're sort of like little tiny little kind of. Yeah, right.

Pee holes in the snow as my mum used to call them. But mine was always about creating open

eyes, like big lashes, like trying to make the eyes look as big as possible, right?

And lovely little rosy cheeks. She's looking cute. This is the opposite. So I'm going to

have to change my makeup trend. This is all be creating hard, harsh lines on the eyes so that

they're more glary, so that they, you create a line so that your eye is more like stink eye at all

times. Really? Okay. Yes. You're trying to like, so you do like a wing up the side to make your

eyes sort of like wider this way as opposed to like open, make them sort of wider like they're

snaring at you and then using quite harsh contouring to create chiseled like jaw lines,

so that basically you just look really aggressive and kind of constantly pissed off.

What animal is this based off? Because you know, all makeup kind of represents an animal, right?

Probably a cat, like the angry cat. And you know how like cats always look at you with such a

stink face? Like, excuse me. Yeah. That's the thing. And it's supposed to be the in approach,

what's supposed to be intimidating, too intimidating to approach. Like a bitchy resting face.

Bitchy resting face. So if you're to bar people just like, won't bother coming up to you and going,

hey, I can buy you a rum and coke. Oh, I want, I want them to come and buy me a rum and coke.

Hey, don't worry about her, man. She looks like a real cat. Why don't you come and buy us a couple

of rum and cokes for a couple of hot boys. So you've got big, big open faces. Yeah,

big friendly faces. Whereas I'm all about creating these harsh lines that no one approaches me.

I wonder if the girlies, girlies, do you, do you go for the hard lines, the smize look? Or are you

more of a open, open girly? I'm definitely a bit more of the softer look, but I do see the appeal

of this. It's almost like a litmus test for men of how much of a jerk they are.

Because a lot of men will be like, I only like a woman who's natural. Whereas like, come on,

we can look past that. I'm just having fun. I'm not putting blue on my eyes because of you. It's

because I want to look fun and I feel good about myself. So I do think it's, there's kind of a

value in this. So this is like one of the other parts of his dramatic color contrasts, striking

dark, huge combos and graphic lines, just creating a really like harsh, hard, heavy look,

which is, yeah, not like, not that like, I'm blushing because you're so beautiful.

It's just like, I don't care about you. Don't talk to me. Leave me alone. I'll have you rum and coke.

We can buy our own rum and coke. You know what I mean?

I can't open that. It's $14 at the spot. I mean, this is ridiculous.

Transatlantic flight left Atlanta in the United States of America.

Why are you whispering? Heading to Barcelona. I'm trying. This is my also, I'm just putting

together a tape to narrate air crash investigation. No, they've got a more dramatic. I've seen a lot

of episodes of air crash investigation. Very American and dramatic. It's a British guy.

So there's a couple of different voices, but mostly a British guy that does it.

Delta Airlines Flight 194 was two hours into its eight hour journey to Barcelona.

From Atlanta, when it had to turn around. Yep. Oh yeah, hold on. I don't know how to do that.

Don't you hate it? Just shut down Zoom. Okay, I'm going to shut down Zoom.

You don't need to be on Zoom. Everyone's going to play some audio. I'm going to play you some

audio, but when I when Fletch turned up my audio channel, it was giving us the audio from the chat

we're having with Haley. A little behind the scenes here. Yeah, that's how that works.

Now I can't find it because I have to shut down Zoom. Okay, here is an eight second audio clip

of the pilot talking to you. Ground control about why I had to turn around two hours into

its flight and return to Atlanta. Negative. It's just a mild hazard issue. We've had a

passenger who had diary all the way through the airplane, so they wanted to come back to Atlanta.

The way through the airplane. I'm imagining they're sitting somewhere in the middle of the plane

and they're like, I'm going to shit myself. I'm running. I'm getting up and on their way to

the toilet, they just shit themselves all the way up the aisle. I'm upset by this. I mean,

the thing is, it's like it's not their fault, is it? Like it is what it is. Your body and your

mind is done. But it's not like you're leaving Bali with Bali, Bali. You're leaving Atlanta

on the way to Barcelona. Yeah, what have you eaten? So you know you're sick before you get on that plane.

I guess you've just got it. But it may have had a grumbling and a slight upset,

but this may have been the first eruption of old faithful. Yeah, which will be going off every

10 minutes for the next four days. Just reading this as the plane was tilted, the poo was running

down the aisle. Oh my God. So the mates on it, they were two hours into a flight. Yep. They turned

around and went back. So that's now four hours of flying. Yep. So you're four hours late. Then

the cleanup happened. Question mark, but they said it was a large crew running the cleanup.

Then they took back to the air and arrived in Barcelona eight hours later than they should have.

So does that mean... Not on the same plane. Yeah, dude. Same plane. Burn the plane, burn the plane.

Burn the plane. You've got to burn the plane to the ground. So we're never gonna go on that plane again.

Does that mean they cleaned for four hours or two hours? Because if they cleaned for two hours

and then got back in the air, what are they using? Like make up that next two hours for eight hours.

Like a rug doctor? Go to the supermarket and get the rug doctor. I mean, rug doctor is steaming

mad at shit. That is grim. Yeah. I mean, you've probably got time for a recap, but there I'd

go for a quick. Yeah, you've got to put the carpet, give it a big recap. Oh, that is just

imagining that person. I'm assuming they weren't on the flight when it took off again.

I don't know. You just go home, mate. You just go home for me once. Yeah. Shame on me for me twice.

Shame on everybody because that could happen again. Well, you know, someone unnamed it did

this on a plane overseas. I think they were in Southeast Asia. They were on their way back.

On their way back. It was at the start of the journey back. And they couldn't get out. Could they?

No, no. The poopies in their pants. I think they ditched their pants. But then I just opened the

door. I'd open the door and I'd jump out at the bottom of the story. They recount other times that

there's been an issue on planes. So remember, there was here a flooding once on a plane,

a toilet clogged up and it ran all the way down the aisle. Do you remember that one?

That's not covered. In 2018, a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Hong Kong had to divert

to Alaska after a passenger smeared feces and tore the lavatories and then tried to flushing

his own shirt in the toilet. Oh, he might have had a couple of sloppies and a couple of drinks

or something. All's on 2018 one. Delta passenger found a seat covered in poo from a previous flight,

which apparently had involved an ill emotional support animal. So that was animal dookie all

over the seat. And then in 2021, a man in the UK was out in his back garden during a summer's day

when waste from a passing plane was dropped on him. But yeah, but they always deny that, don't

they? Because they say they can't do that. Jared's MIDI has messaged in. Used to be a

flight attendant. Kid shed himself in his seat and his parents went around. So he just took

his pants off and tried to clean himself in the aisle and got shit over there.

Where were the parents? Probably watching a movie. The rule is if your kid's that young,

one of them, one of you's got to stay with the kid. Yeah, but you could be in watching a movie.

Could be a little sticky. You could be able to see him, aren't you? Yeah. Oh, Dave, don't do that,

Dave. Oh, well, I tried. That one of those. Graham, Graham, Graham, Graham.

This came across my desk this morning, a bit of a question online.

What is the equivalent of flowers for men? And I don't mean to sort of narrow it down,

because I remember once I bought Aaron Flowers, and he really liked it. He was like, that's so fun.

Yeah. But in general, right, you get a woman some flowers, and that makes us pretty happy. And it

totally agree. It's a good quit. You'll quite often get your wife flowers,

won't you, every now and again? Oh, not for a while. Yeah, it's been a while.

Is it because she kept saying it were these free from work? Well, it's because we've got

flowers outside of her. She's that kind of, she can go outside and look. Oh my God. There's some

to grow on trees. There's some to grow. So we've got daffodils at the moment. If she was that kind

of a bunch of flowers, she could go and pick her own or just go and look at them where they are.

It's not the point, is it? Oh my God, it's not the point. Oh my God. I bought her an Aaron.

That's going to die in two days. It's not the point, Aaron. I bought her in a bouquet of broccoli.

I would say that's what I would say. Don't buy me flowers. They're going to die in three days.

And so you can't eat flowers and screw dating either of you to be fair. I used to bring home

flowers and all she'd ever say was like, well, these free from work were they? Well, because

a lot of the times they were definitely wouldn't have them. Has she ever brought you just something

randomly from time to time? No, I don't think so. Because flowers are classic. Like flowers are

classic. We've been together for nearly 20 years and she's even surprised you with the

male equivalent of flowers. It's our sex-aversary, son. You would think she'd have something

lined up. You would. You've got a sex-aversary the first time. Yeah. Well, good for you.

Will you guys remember yours? Your mind lines up with our first date.

Easy to remember one day.

That's actually the male equivalent of flowers.

What? So we don't need to answer this question. Just like, just un, un, what do you call it?

What's a better word for I'm begging for it? And she's saying no.

She just does it without asking, you know? She's keen on it.

Initiate. Initiate. This is the word you were looking for. Yeah, you, you. I reckon that's,

ladies, if you're listening, that's, that's better than any bunch of flowers. You initiate.

All right. Well, there's, that's, that's the answer to our question.

What's the male equivalent of getting flowers? Jared, because it's, Jared, because it's something

from the bakery. We've got to ask more of our woman, Jared. We can't just... No, that's a

guy. I'm with Jared. Imagine a cinnamon scroll. Four dollars, four dollars tops. Yeah.

Yum. Flowers have cost a fortune. Jared's nailed it. I think we can ask for more. Jared is nailed

this. It's the thought that counts. Give me a potato top pie and a can of cola. Initiate it. Yep.

Then so much thought, so much thought in initiating it. I reckon I'm, I'm putting my money on

initiating it. Well, I'm coming back from in the cold to Auckland today. I tell you what,

I'm going to turn up with the boobs out and the potatotop pie.

You two are bickering a lot this morning, aren't you? We are. Got off here. I've got the zoom

going around. You need to get back in the studio because Vaughn's out of control. I'm the peacemaker

what I'm, I'm figuring out here. I'm the middle man between you two. You're like a bloody married

couple and brothers and lovers and boyfriends and it's a lot. I was just being told off because

I've given Fletch a little heads up on what I'm about to tell people. He's, he always tells me

off for the sort of stuff at work. You're so petty. You've got to keep yourself entertained

and happy somehow. I have been for the last little while replying to emails I get with work

regarding, regarding work things. Yeah. If people don't spell my name right, I reply by saying sorry,

who? Now my name is Vaughn, V-A-U-G-H-A-N, deliciously balanced by vowels. Yeah. Some people

A at the start, A at the end. A lot of people leave out the A, don't they? They live out

A. Some people don't even chuck on the A or the end at the end. I've had V-A-U-G-H in an email

recently and I just reply sorry, who? Vo. It's in the email. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And I had

this recently from a Tracy. Yeah. E-Y. Oh yeah. And she must get this all the time just going

straight C-Y. Yeah, yeah. Or C-E-E-E-E. Oh no. Did you reply thanks Tracy without the last E?

Just to kind of show her? No, I said sorry, who you after? Tracy and spelled it right? Yeah.

Oh my God. To let her know that she has put zero if it and I just thought from a Tracy or I always,

it always blows my mind when it's from someone who I look at their name and I'm like,

you must get misspelled all the time. Yeah. I expect that sort of. Mine does too, actually,

for quite an easy name. I always get H-E-L-E-Y. To my email as well and you're like, well,

there it is. People struggle less with Sproul than they do with Haley.

Would be one L or two Ls for Sproul. A little bit major thing. So I've been replying and I've just

been asked to stop. Well, it's PT. It is PT. Just answer the email. What does it matter? You know

it's addressed to you. No, it's respect. It's respect. It's a level of respect I have after,

you know, 28,000 years in the industry. It's a level of respect I have grown to demand.

Right. Okay. That people spelled your name. It is weird that when someone outside of the

organization, because if somebody here at work is emailing you, they just type in VA and then

press and they'd see your name and just click it. They wouldn't even probably look too much.

But if they go VO, the VORM. They're not going to find your name.

I actually would like that more because it's got a little bit of personal to it.

Right. It's got a bit of, I've thought about this and I think he's going to like this.

If someone outside of the organization is sending an email, it won't work unless they put the,

it would literally bounce back and then for them to still spell it wrong.

Yeah. I actually know that for a fact because when we first started here and we got ZM Online

set up, they said, would you like VAUGHN at ZM Online to also come to their box? I was like,

absolutely not. Because they don't want me. They're not after me. Oh my God. You're so petty.

Yeah. You got to entertain yourself. You know, you got to stay happy. But I was just thinking

we could have a sort of a union meeting of the petty amongst us. Now, it doesn't need to be

about having your name spelled right, although happy to hear from you. Yeah. But do you have

little petty acts at work? Or like with customers? Maybe with customers. Maybe with people who you

work with, who maybe in a position that you're like, how are they in that position? I'm just

going to make life a little bit more difficult for them. I used to do this when I worked in the

clothing store because I always had nice clothing. And if they were rude to me, I'd fold it in a way

that meant that I'd have to iron it when they got home. Like, oh, subtle. I would like fold a sleeve,

fold a sleeve in and then like put a little kink in there. I like, now you got to sort that out.

Oh, I really like that. I saw a tick tock of someone that works at a drive-through and they,

their petty act for customers was if when they pulled up to the drive-through speaker, they were

like, hello, hello, hello. If they kept saying hello before they were greeted, before the person

working at the drive-through was ready, they'd make them white. Oh my God, just sit there.

No, nothing's more frustrating than pulling up to a drive-through and you just sit in there like,

do they know I'm here? Because I always say, hello, they know you're there. Hello, cheesy,

please, please. That's what I always say. Hello. Can I get a cheesy, please, there? I always give

them a very gentle, friendly, inquisitive hello. It's not like, hello, hello. Some people will

like constantly like, hello, they know you're there. It goes bing-dong. I don't know. I've

not worked in a drive-through. I'm not familiar with the intricate workings of the ding-dong.

This person was petty enough that if someone was rude or just was constantly like, hello,

they'd make them white. So these are the kind of stories we want to hear this morning.

I'll 800 dials at M as the number. Give us a call now. You can text her as well. 9 6 9 6.

You're petty little acts at work. Petty tribe unite. If you're in the mood to be petty,

you're about to hear some great tips from people who are petty at their workplace.

You've decided not to reply. No, I reply to an email if someone spells my name wrong and I say,

sorry, who are you after? It's so petty. So petty. I'm hearing from lots of people. Tracy,

I'm a Tracy. I'm a T-R-A-T-R-A-C-Y. I always get a T-R-A-E-C-E-Y. But it's close enough. They mean

the- How do they get it wrong? They've literally typed in my email. They've seen my sign-off and

a signature with the correct spelling. Right. But she's giving up correcting people. No, come back,

Tracy. Come back. Somebody else said, you've got a difficult to spell name. You can't expect it to

be spelled right every time. Do you know how to spell everybody's name in the world? No,

and that's not my argument, but they've written it correctly to get my email. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just be consistent. That's what I'm arguing. Allen, how petty do you get? Well, you know,

in first of all, a long time. Oh, I'm going to. I'm going to. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Allen, how would

you like us to spell your name, E-L-L-E-N? Yeah, that's how it's meant to be spelled,

but I actually get a lot of Aaron as well. So I'm not sure what that's about.

Aaron, no, that's a completely different word. Completely different name. Yeah.

That's that. Yeah, that's not your name. No, it's not. But I get a lot of emails and I find that

people, when they're in a hurry to get stuff done, they put that little red exclamation point in it.

High importance. Oh, yeah. I'll decide. That's real passag. That's right up there with the,

they want to read receipt. Oh my God. Don't ask me for a read receipt. As far as you need to know,

I never saw this email. Oh, yeah. Never, ever, ever, ever. Yeah. So I'm going to have deniability.

Yeah. If somebody flags an email as high importance, what do you do, Allen?

I just ignore that little sucker for days. Yeah, good on you, mate.

Do you say sucker or? Sucker. I think she said sucker. Oh, go, go, go, just come with me.

Allen wouldn't tarnish her name like that on the first, as she's the first one called. No,

first time caller. No, thank you, Allen. Sarah, how petty do you get it work?

I used to work at a bar while I was studying at uni. Yeah. And like the regular bedroom

could just be annoying and rude. Yeah. So to get back at them, I would just purposely pour

their beer with a, she'd have a lot of foam. You'd give them a beer with like, what, a couple

of inches of foam? Yeah. Big head. Didn't even, didn't either of them ever ask you to have another

go at it? Probably. And then I would have just ignored them. Sorry, you get what you're given.

Wow. I love that. Whereas if someone was polite, you'd go right to the top. Oh, I'd overfill it

and to charge them. Yeah, right. It'd be nice to me. I'll be nice to you. You could also have done

what Ryan messaged in. He's a coffee drive-through guy when the customer's demanding or unnecessarily

rude over the speaker. He gives them decaf coffee. Oh my God. Then they don't even get their caffeine.

So you could do the same. Sarah, you could just be pouring them 0% beers. Yes. Oh my God,

brilliant. Sarah, thank you, Christy. How petty do you get it work? So I get quite petty. I'm very

similar to born, but so I deliver skippings for a job. So I'm a truck driver and quite often,

quite a few customers will have to text in advance saying that we're on our way or that

we're outside. So I'll go, hi, this is Christy, correct spelling, obviously, from companies that

I work for. I'm here to deliver, I'm on my way by the bar and they'll go, thanks Christy, but then

they'll reply back with the incorrect spelling. And I'll reply, I will reply back with Christy with

the stars on either side. I will see you soon. Oh my God. Oh my God, you and Bourne need to hang

out and just be, that's going to be an awkward skippin' drop off. God, how good is a skippin'?

Also, didn't you say, Bourne, that you wanted to deliver skips? I mean, this is the perfect woman.

Yeah. You can hang out, talk about how people are spelling our names wrong. You need an employee

there, Christy. Love it. Thank you, Christy. Some messages in. I'm a high school teacher

of kids, message me a question on the school app and don't say hello first, they'll leave them on

red. They eventually come and find you if it's important and they always start a conversation

with hello, miss. And I say, see, that's how you start a conversation. Oh, wow. So they just

send a demanding, what's, what's this kind of question? Yeah, yeah. What's this mean, miss?

I used to work at a fast food place with a drive-through and if people would yell greetings

at the drive-through like, hello, hello, I'd greet them the same way they meant greet me.

I'd be like, yes, hello, hello. And they get mad, but they started it.

It's so petty. It's so petty. I love it. See, I'm telling you, they know you're there. You just

got to wait for them. Yeah. My name is Mark. I'm going to get an email starting with good morning,

Mark. I always reply using their last name to start the email, then sign off with my first name

and uppercase. Oh, so then the last name is Mark? My last name is Mark. Yeah. Oh, yeah, right.

Yeah. So they start it with Mark. Oh, yeah. That's his problem. That might also be a little bit of

your problem for having a first name as a last name. Yeah, you can't have two names, Mark.

Yeah. I really recently saw someone with three first names. Oh, yeah, that's their names.

Like John Paul Mark. Yeah, like Paul Mark would have been hyphenated as their last name. And

then it was like, that's too many first names. Too many first names. That's too many first names.

Well, there you go. Be nice to people. Be nice to people. No, be petty, Lena. Yeah, go hard.

The debate's already started off ear and I think we should bring it on here because it's now it's

multi layered. It's multi tier. Okay, the first question that I want to pose from this article

is how often you wash your towel because according to this survey, not often enough. Now this is

out of Britain, but they are washing them like four times a year. So seasonally, that's how often

you're supposed to change your toothbrush. That can't be right. You're saying that they'll

My dude wouldn't have one million dampened stuff. One million respondents wash them once a year.

Once a year. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding you. I wish I was, sir, but I am not.

That's so manky. I'll go every couple of days. I'll just put a new towel on.

That's the recommendation every three days. Use a towel for three days and then get a new towel

or wash a towel. Right. And so then we were talking about this off ear going, oh, how often do you

wash your towel? And then Shannon admitted to being a manky bee. How, how many, how often will

you go before you wash your towel, Shannon? Well, I'll alternate a towel because in my head,

if you don't use it every day, it's not as gross, but I think I'll wash it. What do you mean you'll

alternate? So she's got two towels on the go. Two towels on the go. Oh my gosh. And like ones for

hair and ones for body. So I wash it maybe every two weeks. Is that bad? Yeah. Because we don't

have a, we don't have a washer dryer set you. So it's a laundromat. So it's, you've got to get

the whole flat together. It's no excuse. Get in your car. Wash your towels. Yeah, maybe every two.

Good thing she's pretty. I say it all the time. Good thing she's pretty because boy, she's manky.

Yeah. Yeah. You're building me up too much. Just chicken. Just chicken, Shannon. You're not a

19 year old boy, eh? I could be. Yeah. Some of your habits. The sounds like it. The towels. Yeah.

All I ate is just a piece of meat for dinner. She put herself a kind of surprise yesterday as a

treat. I got a polar bear. So then I was like, I got to bring it. I bought it in a bag of oranges

that I'm very worried about that produces vitamin C levels. Yeah, good. So then we were talking about

this and then Karwin was like, oh, I don't wash it. I'll change it every few days. And then we were

like, where are you putting your dirty, wet, damp towels? No, no, no. In the basket. I'm not,

I'm not putting it in the basket when it's damp. Right. But we're putting it like as in I won't,

straight after I'll hang it up to dry and then I'll put it in the right. And then you'll wash

when you've got enough towels. Yeah. Sorry. So I'll swap them, but I won't do a load of washing

for two towels. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were putting them in the basket. I was like, yuck.

It is not weird. And then you got a musty and you got a musty basket. No, I have a moldy house.

I'm not doing that. You got a moldy house and a musty basket. Oh, you don't want a musty basket.

Producer Jared, because this is very similar to these results. Was it the UK that weren't washing

their sheets? Yeah. March as well? Yeah. They're grubs. God, manky. Jared, how often will you wash

your towels? Like two or three days. Oh yeah. I've also got a girlfriend. Sorry. Just be honest.

Pre the midi, how often were you washing towels? Probably like a week. Is that washing one? I don't

know. You're only going to have a week? Yeah. Because they start getting a residual dampness.

Like they'll dry out, especially over winter. They'll dry out the first time you use them,

and then the second time they feel all right. But then slowly the dampness just builds up.

Yeah. And by the end of the week, you're like, this is too damp now to function as a towel.

Well, listen to this. This might change how you feel about it. Okay. A freshly washed towel,

right, straight from the dryer, contains about 190,000 counts of bacteria. There's bacteria on

everything. So that's not too bad. Yeah. Yeah. After just one use, that level of bacteria increases

to 17 million. And then 94 million is the increase after a week of using it.

Okay. So after like a few months?

Do. Or like four months. Here's my third question to this whole thing. Yeah. If you live with a

partner, do you share a towel? No. Because then it's wet if you get it after they've got it.

Because our towels look the same. So when me and Aaron, when we had a bathroom,

we'd hang them up and I wouldn't quite know which one was wet. I'll just go for it.

Right. Just go for the dryer. What about if you wash yourself properly? You're like,

yeah. And you get out of the shower and when you're towel-ing, you're like, go over your knee

that's got a bit of dirt on it. So then you took it out and it's like, uh-oh. And you've got to say,

you've got to, that's not a skid. You've got to, you've got to at that time alert them to,

you can't let them see it first and say, what's that? And you say it was dirt under

wash my knee properly. You have to let them know. Yeah. You just put it in straight.

Straight in the washing machine or the basket. Straight in the wash.

Yeah. Oh, if you get skids on it, that's straight to the basket. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's it. That's a different or chat altogether. Yeah. If you're getting skids on a towel,

you're going to be washing your bots properly. But let me get the shower. You need a removable

shower head. You need to blast the anus. That's every morning. There are some manky people out

there. Wash your towels, people. If you don't have a removable shower head, get good at a handstand

on tiles. You got to get up there. You got to give that thing a blast. That's incredible cool

strength board. It really is. It's a two for then. Yeah.

Taylor Swift. I can see you. That's today's eight o'clock song. We're listening for that song

at midday with Georgia this afternoon at four when that third song plays for the first call

is true. And when a couple of tickets to see Taylor Swift live in Sydney, like Jan did yesterday.

Jan, you're going to Taylor Swift.

Let use today or last Tuesday. I don't know, but Jan's won some tickets. No,

because Clint wasn't here last Tuesday. Yeah, no, I heard a couple of boys.

Couple of lads. Yeah, there we go. So congrats. Yeah. Okay, guys, you know that I'm on tour at

the moment. I'm in Invercargill. And last night we got home from the theater. We get home about

1030. And it takes me a little bit to wind down. So I got into bed and I was like,

I watched some Netflix, right? Why not? I haven't watched Netflix for ages, because

you know, I've got all the streaming and I'm trying to figure out which ones I want to delete to

save some money. Anyway, so we're not how's that going? He's still logged into all of them.

Every single one. I have every single streaming service, music, film, TV and otherwise. Yeah.

Now, you know, when you go on Netflix.com and it says who's watching? So I've got multiple

profiles because I share my password with my parents. And even though they cracked down,

that didn't affect you for some reason. You didn't get cracked. I didn't get cracked. I've slipped

under the radar even though I've talked about it on radio at least three times. So my options are

Hailey and Aaron, pink smiley face, mum and dad, navy smiling face. And that's always been the way.

Yeah. Last night I went on and it was a green profile at the end. Hailey and Aaron, mum and dad

or Motutara. What? And I was like, who's Motutara? I have no idea who that is. I've never seen that

before. Is that place ring a bell? Motutara is like a, well, I don't know. Motutara road in

Mota Wai was where a lot of those slips were after the. Yeah, there's some Waimoku Motutara's.

And then there was an email address, which I won't say on air, but I was like, I don't know who

that is. And then I've been trying to Google it. I cannot find it. The only piece of information

I have about this Motutara is that the only show they've watched, only movie they've watched from

start to finish is Gladiator. What's a classic? Is it an Oscar-winning movie? Oh, yes, it was.

Big Oscar-winning film. Sequel and the Works. Yeah, they are. But that was the only thing,

you know, because I went, I was like, I'll be able to sort of get a vibe for continue watching.

Yeah. Yeah. And continue watching. They only had a couple of minutes left on Gladiator. And that's

that. So who's Motutara watching Gladiator on my profile? How'd they get my information?

How? Okay, you have to change your password. I can't be bothered though. Have you left yourself

logged on somewhere and they've just proven your profile? I know because I'm traveling around at

the moment, right? And I was like, maybe I've watched Netflix on one of the hotel TVs, but I

haven't. I have. I absolutely haven't been watching other things in the hotels, you know,

not logging on to their TVs. So there's no, there's nothing. And the last time I did log

into a TV was in Melbourne and I know I logged out. And I don't think Motutara is in Melbourne.

Because you can, in your profile, you can see who's logged into your account, right? All the

active sessions. So you can see if somebody's like an ex is still leaching off you. Yeah, totally.

But I've deleted the profile. But they haven't finished Gladiator. But they obviously have

your password. You need to change your password. Yeah. But then I got to tell my mom and then

every time she logs in to watch a movie, she'll be like, now, what's the new password? Can you

tell your father? Put your father on the phone. I can't be bothered with that.

Well, you've got to because they've got your password. I honestly think you've accidentally

logged on somewhere and forgot to log off. No, they've got your password. Because I've only

watched one thing. So that tells me it's an Airbnb and they went on and they were like,

oh, and they're like, oh, I don't want to ruin Gladiator for them. So I'll start my own profile.

But your parents are out of the country. You haven't stayed anywhere. They've got your info

somewhere. You were staying at that Airbnb and you did when you're doing Kiwi Bake Off.

No, that was so long ago. No, I know. But if you didn't log off, they might have logged in there

and watched Gladiator. I can't even remember if they had a Netflix. Because that wasn't also too

far from Motutata, the road. Right. But you didn't watch Gladiator. No, but the other people could

have watched Gladiator. Well, that's what I'm saying. I would have logged on and created a new

profile of watch Gladiator. I'd change your password. No, please don't maybe change my

password. I don't know what it is. Are you one of the people that has the same password for everything?

Maybe. Maybe Motutata has access to more things than just my Netflix. Exactly. Oh, fine. But I

can't be bothered and Motutata, you've annoyed me with this. Okay, so if that's you and you've

watched Gladiator, you said that a couple of minutes left. Was that the credits or the final

scenes of the movie? Better not be the final scenes because those are crunchy scenes. Yeah.

And you've just... But you know sometimes when you stop watching something on a streaming service

and then you go back to finishing, it also takes you back a couple of minutes. Yeah. Give you a

little bit of a recap of where you were in that situation. Oh, look at this. Go on the settings,

security and privacy, control access to this account, view the most recently active devices

and more managed access and devices. Sign out of all devices. There you go. Sign out.

But now your mum's going to be on the blower next time she wants to use it because you've just signed

her out too. Dude, if my parents are living in beautiful sunny Italy at the moment, they want

to watch Netflix. Shame on them. Let's go for a walk. I think you're going to say if my parents

can afford to live abroad six months a year, they can afford their own damn Netflix. Exactly.

That too.

Well, I was alerted to this article at the bottom of another article. The original article was

called Girl Math is just another TikTok trend head of infantilized woman. Oh, shut up.

You're cancelled now, girls. You're cancelled now. You mad ladies, babies. Get a sense of humor.

That's literally just a joke, right? Yeah, I know. Plug the podcast.

Plug the podcast. Fletch, do a seamless podcast. No, you know, it's not seamless if you point it out.

Hey, you've literally highlighted the seam, bruh. Plug the podcast. Seamless. If you go to the podcast

place, all the girl maths podcasts are there in one place. Who else is excited for me to get back

in studio and sort this show out? Seamless. Don't point out the seam. There is that little bit

of part in our podcast feed of all of the girl maths episodes. That's just literally what I said.

So far. So seamless. You just said podcast place, I think. Yeah.

Everyone knows where the podcast place is. It's where they podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts.

www.podcast.com. That's where I get mine. Podcasts. Podcasts. Podcasts. I get mine on the iHeart

radio app. Also streaming ZM live. So, so well done. Seamless. Seamless. There's no seam there.

This said, so much for girl math. Lad's holidays are costing, on average, 900 pounds more. Blame

the beer and tanning. Shoot, that took two grand. Wait, girls, surely guys are not spending more

on holidays? No. So the absolute breakdown of this is guys leave everything to the last minute.

And when you leave everything to the last minute, you have to pay a premium for it.

Except me. So am I not a guy? No, you're a girly. So they say that men spend more on tanning

because they get it done just before they go on holidays, whereas women might have a consistent

tanning regimen. Is this British? It's British. Yeah. Okay. I was like, who's getting a spray tan?

Yeah, no, this is like love island people, I think. So lads on average spent two and a half

thousand pounds, which is 35% more than the ladies' average holiday, the gals, gals, gals,

which was 1700 pounds. And so you're organized. You're organized. You've got the advanced flights

are cheaper because you're planned and your hotels will be cheaper because you've planned

fire in advance, whereas guys are like, should we go to Spain next weekend? No, Spain, Spain, Spain.

And so the flights are more expensive. The hotels are more expensive. Men spend 40, go on.

No, I was just saying, I wonder if like what alcohol is because I've got it right here. That was

exactly where I was going next. Oh, you've pointed out the same. No, you've pointed out the same on

this one. Good luck. We're the Lululemon leggings of the radio industry. My big fat granny panties

underneath my Lululemons because it's seamless. Alcohol is the best one. Men spend 43% more than

women on booze. Really? I would have thought with cocktails. I also love the cocktails.

They should put Hailey in the mix for this. Yeah, ring it. They'll think chicks are lightweight

and kind of have a few chardonnays and then they're on their way. Yeah. One bot. I'm like,

should we do a marathon or something? So 30% of women plan and budget for this for a holiday,

whereas men are significantly less likely to winging it, which of course always means forking

a little bit more. I always find it funny when Vaughn is in charge of organizing a trip. Like,

for example, when you, where did you go to a stag do and see your wife wasn't involved at all?

And you were just, it was all fine. Yeah, but it was weird watching you organize a whole last

minute. It was all very, very fine. Last minute you were worried. I've learned in my 41 years on

earth. Yep. If you're a white male, things tend to line up. They sort of do, don't they?

Things tend to just kind of just do their thing. More expensive last minute,

like the rental car that you were organizing, the flights. You organized the rental car.

You can then, you know, you got me the cheaper one because you said it was a bit of deal and

you'd received an email alert. I just, I just, yeah, I had to look after them. And then I got

there and he upgraded me. He liked the cut of my jib. And you know what I said to him?

It's going to cost me more to run this car. It's a 1800. The last one was a 1600.

Yeah, they looked at me like I was being very ungrateful and I was. Yeah,

they wanted a petrol voucher. They happened to a friend, they were in, uh, getting a rental car

in Italy and they were like, great news of upgraded your rental car. And they're like,

oh, fantastic. Cause they got a little compact car. Yeah. And then they get this massive four-wheel

doesn't fit down the streets. One go down the little Italian, Italian town.

Can't go to the Cinque Terre, yeah. Yeah. So you're going to be careful of that. Yeah.

But yes, a guy is spending more. Who knew? Who knew? I wouldn't have thought. Who knew?

Who knew? Now, if you've been listening to the show this week, you'll know it's Honey Badger Week.

I'm back to the day. And next up, I have. I'm loving it by the way, Vaughan. Thank you very much.

I've had great correspondence about Honey Badger Week. Okay. And a lot of people are

very excited about the Honey Badger. I'm always excited to introduce new, new fans to the Honey

Badger. BT Dumps, do we have any Honey Badgers at zoos around the... Not in New Zealand. No,

we don't. We've got Tasmanian jibbles. What an absolute shame. We should have a Rascals corner

at the zoo. Yeah. Cause I know there's like the Australian corner and the African part of

Auckland Zoo. There should just be a corner called the Rascals corner and they've got all the most

mischievous animals around. Global Rascals. Yeah. Global Rascals corner of the zoo.

Play. Zudems, Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

Hi and welcome to Honey Badger Week for this week's Fact of the Day.

I'm loving it.

Fanned Week. We've learnt so much about the humble Honey Badger. And boy,

I bet it's rocketing up everybody's charts of favourite animals.

Yeah, they're pretty great. Yeah, they're pretty great. Well, today's fact of the day is the Honey

Badger's skin is six millimetres thick. Whoa. Okay. That is comparable to the skin of the Cape

Buffalo, an animal that weighs 50 times more than the Honey Badger. Oh my God. What's a pig?

I'm just trying to think of... Well, I looked up human skin. The mean skin thickness of males

is between 0.6 of a mil and three mil, so half. What about granny's skin? That's always a bit...

Granny's skin's thin. Yeah. Females have thinner skin than men. Oh, okay. So the thinnest of the skin...

Is that what? The thinnest of the skin on females is thicker than the male's skin is thinner skin.

Thinner skin is hard to say. Thinner skin. Thinner skin. No, it's not really.

Where's our thinnest skin? Is it the neck? Because I feel like my neck's aging.

I don't know, but your thinner skin is one and a half mils, but your thicker skin is only 2.8

mils. Is that why some of our jokes... Far less rain. Is that why some of our

personal jokes aimed at Haley hurt her more? No, it's like funny because we're all laughing.

The high-end ones. The high-end ones stay with her longer. We're just like ribbing and...

But the light... We're all getting it. The light jabs don't get through. Yeah.

No, it's funny. It's not. It's fine. Just do it there. It's fine. Yeah, it's funny. I get it.

She's having fun. Don't worry about it. She's laughing. She's laughing. Yeah, I get it.

She's having fun. Fun. Fun. The... So then when you compare that to a honey badger...

Yeah, their skin is twice as thick as ours. That's insane. So it's twice as much to get through.

Terrible for tattoos and piercings. I wouldn't stick. Yeah.

You'd imagine the honey badger would love a tattoo. Yeah, their bad boy's a bad boy.

Yeah. Tramp stamps and stuff just for a laugh. Did you have other animal thickness?

The top 10 animals with thicker skin. I'd love to. Elephants?

Elephants are up there. Number 10. They've got real crusty skin, eh?

Crusty as a... Yeah. Why have you ridden them?

Twice. Oh, wow. Canceled. Not recently. Canceled.

So hippopotamus is on the list. Oh, yeah. As are honey badgers. Camels have very thick skin.

Armadillas, of course. Of course. You've got to say armadilla.

I don't want to hear armadilla. I don't want to hear armadillo ever said.

It's got to be armadilla. Whale sharks have thick skin. Bison have thick skin.

Yeah, bison. Spirn whales, rhinos, elephants and crocodiles.

Bison's make great handbags. Bison's do.

Bison leather. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. There's a company that does strictly

bison leather bags and they're nice. Is that why Native American bow and arrows were

like leagues ahead of other bow and arrows? Because they had to penetrate the thick skin.

Maybe. Maybe. And yeah, but it's the honey badger's one of the few sort of like...

Yeah, because non-pacoderm, land-based mammals on the list up there with camels and bison's.

Thick skin. Yeah, thick skin. Do they have... Are my heels on that list?

So what are your heels made of? Thick. No, she's sort of made the heels of it.

All right. Okay, yeah, right. You thought of a huge thing and she had

heels made out of another animal. Like crocodiles or something.

No, no, no. My natural heels. God, they got to be thick. Yeah.

They've got cracks in them. Oh, mate. Craters in them.

Yeah. You should see them after a sand down.

Yeah. That's when she likes to actually hit them with that sanding thing.

Yeah. After a sand down.

Pummet stone. Get a pummer stone on those heels.

Yeah. But also the skin is rubbery.

The honey badger's skin is rubbery and too big for them.

Do you know why? So if something bites them, they can twist and turn and get out of the grip.

God, they're so smart. Yeah, so smart, so smart, so smart, so smart.

And they average so much on Honey Badger.

The average bee sting can't get through them, which is also very handy,

because we talked about how much they love yumming up honey straight from the hive and the bee larvae.

And yeah, so that they can't get through. They've got to sting them in a certain place to be able

to get through and deposit it into a part of their body that can, you know, the venom can affect them.

The eyeball. The poison.

So today's fact of the day here on Honey Badger Week, tune in two more to go.

And this is a way.

Well, what's next week going to be? We're going to keep theming.

Well, we'll see. Find it organically.

Today's fact of the day is Honey Badgers have some of the thickest skins amongst the animal kingdom.

Oh, fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day, day.

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Now I'm traveling around with a bunch of people at the moment and you get to know each other very well.

And yesterday I was sitting between some lovely comedians and my phone rung and it was Aaron.

You're your fiance.

My fiance of 13 years nearly.

And they were like, why have you got Aaron saved under his full name?

So what do you mean?

And my Aaron saved my phone as he has been from the first day we went on a date.

Aaron Courtesy, like just his first and last name.

And I'm on his phone as Haley Sproul.

And they thought it was a bit odd.

I'm surprised you haven't changed that to TV's Haley Sproul as seen on TV.

Well, once upon a time, do you know what I mean?

Once on TV.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's radio's Haley Sproul now.

I'm like you though as well because everything has to be in order.

And there was a time when I had profile photos as well or contact photos.

Yeah, I've got profile photos.

But that's gone about out the window.

But everyone is first and last name.

Even my parents, like I've got mum and dad home for their home.

Oh, no, I've got mum and dad.

I've got mum and dad.

But I have like first and last name for my parents because it's an order on my phone.

If I go Petsy, no, it just comes up with my mum's email.

But mum and dad and mum and dad.

Yeah, okay.

But Aaron's not like, because lots of people put like hubby or bubba or baby or, you know,

should we do it or like bean.

I call Aaron bean.

Like, I don't know if...

You wouldn't put him in your phone as bean?

As bean.

Beanie.

Beanie.

What about you, Vaughan, with Chateau?

Chateau is Chance McGee.

That's right.

Chance McGee.

And it calls and it says,

you may be receiving a call from Chance McGee or four other people.

Oh, yeah.

I hate that when they're saved under so many different things.

Yeah.

And then you go through and you delete the other people.

But every time it just refreshes off, it's saved.

And puts it that it could be four other people.

But yeah, it's Chance McGee.

What does she have you saved as?

Bertie Christofferson, I believe.

Bertie.

I love that.

Okay.

I like, I love that.

Vaughan, Fletch, when you...

I mean, because you were a single bachelor,

but when you have been in a relationship, did you have a name or you just went...

First and last name.

First and last, I know.

It's always first and last name.

It's got to be in order.

What are the proddies rocking with their, with their lovers?

Well, that was a very Dutch of you.

Your first love first.

Well...

For third love first.

What about you, Karwin?

Well, for most of my relationship, my partner's name has been a completely different man's name.

Why?

Just to keep...

Because you wish you were someone else.

Well, who about our fancy name?

Oh my God, I should change mine to Jason Mamoor,

so when Erin rings me, I get a little thrill.

Hello.

Hello, Aquaman.

No, it just started as an inside joke and I never changed it.

Oh yeah, it's good stuff.

Jared?

Just her name, bro.

Bro.

First and last.

Just the first, last.

Because everything has to be in order.

Everything has to be in order.

Yeah, totally.

Well, maybe we could take some calls and get some messages of what your partner,

wife, husband is saved under on your phone.

Because I'm sure there's some dumb stuff.

Maybe they're still saved as Tinder guy four, you know?

Well, then you got married and had kids, but he's still Tinder guy four.

Because he's Tinder guy four.

Oh my God, I love that.

Whatever it is, 0800 dahlsadam.

Give us a call.

Let's take your calls.

You can message through as well, 9 6 9 6 to text.

What is your partner saved under on your phone?

I want to know what you have your partner saved under on your phone.

Because Erin, my fiance, is just Erin Cortice, his full name.

And some people find that a bit cold and weird.

But it's just ordering like it all should be.

People, they have a messy contacts.

That was my head in.

I know.

No emojis either.

Don't be silly.

You grow up.

Just grow up.

No emojis.

You've seen the hearts and stuff.

Yeah.

That's a vom.

Is that a vom all around?

I'm just making sure I've got no emojis.

No, no, no.

Yeah, just checking.

Greg, what's your partner saved in your phone as?

She's saved as the Cheesecake Factory.

Why?

She's American and growing up in high school,

she was often mistaken as a bit of a Cali Cuoco lookalike.

So it's a nod to the Big Bang Theory and Penny working

at the Cheesecake Factory.

Oh, OK.

Also, this is a hot way of you bragging that your partner

looks like Cali Cuoco.

Well done.

You're going to tell your partner.

I'm forgetting that out there.

I'm going to have a look at you.

Greg, you're the man.

You're the man.

You're the man.

And some brownie points.

And some brownie points in the bag there for Greg.

Exactly.

That's the only reason he called up.

Yeah, he's got a hot misses and everybody should know about it.

Kudos.

Gina, what's your partner saved in your phone as?

More dinner, guys.

How are you?

Good, thank you.

Good.

So my partner's name is David, but boring.

So under my phone, it's Davey, which is a little bit cute.

But somehow my daughter changed it to Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Boots, guys.

I know mobile and I have no idea how to do that.

And in my phone, it's Davey.

I can text Davey, call Davey.

But whenever I'm in the car and I say, Paul's Davey, to Siri.

She just rocks out with the Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Oh my God, that's so –

So I've never changed it.

Never changed it.

Never changed it.

I'm never changing it, and I don't know how to change it,

but I like to show it in the car with a chus friend in there and there,

and I'm like, call Davey and it rocks out with us, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Ha Ha Ha Ha More than two boys.

Calling.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

That's so good, Jenna, amazing.

Thank you, submit more messages.

My husband is from India and I just have him saved

in my phone as Indian love God.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

My wife ended herself in my phone as love of my life.

Oh, OK.

So I made a personal ringtone, which was her snoring.

Oh, my God.

Sarah's got a personal ringtone, remember?

He's got me saved as Haley Sproul,

but it's me singing him a song.

That's right.

That's cute.

That's cute.

My ex-husband is saved in my phone as TC.

Now, the kids think it stands for top cat,

but the C is not for cat.

Oh, it's not for cat.

Yeah, we can imagine.

OK, keep your texts coming in 9 6 9 6,

0 800, Darlsadam.

What is your partner saved in your phone as?

Of course, some people are cute and some people are disgusting.

That's what I am getting from that.

Yeah, we want to know what your partner is saved in your phone

as.

Yeah.

And we were just saying, a lot of people

are putting ICE, ICE, ICE in case of emergency

and then in front of their partner's names.

You don't think you do that with smartphones anymore?

No, because on the iPhone, the big lock on off button,

if you just jam that a whole lot of times,

it'll say slide to power off a medical ID or emergency

call.

Oh, yes.

And then you go medical ID and it says,

Will Smith, 49 years old.

Air to emergency context.

87.

Can you get in trouble for lying about your weight on this thing?

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

I don't know when I did this, but it sees it under information.

It doesn't have my weight.

Why doesn't it have my weight?

But it sees allergies and reactions.

Cuteness.

He's got a big O plus.

Oh, yeah, I got to add my.

I don't know what my blood type is.

OK, but you can add all the info and you can set several

contacts to be your emergency contact.

So Ross Boss is my emergency contact.

When one day he made me stay for a staff meeting, I said,

fine, you've got to be my emergency contact.

And then I'm going to go out this week and do some silly things.

Good luck dealing with me in a coma.

And he's like, and that's why I think he's a head of Shade.

Right.

Do you think that like people in the ambulance do this?

Like the paramedics that is like, I'll just see.

And then they're like, he says he's 84 kgs.

That's what I am like.

My God, my emergency contacts already taken my weight

from a different app.

Oh, really?

OK, I just saw the number and I was like, oh, what the hell?

And I was like, oh, no, that is, that is the number.

OK, well, so you don't need to write ice next to people.

No, you don't need to do that anymore.

They wouldn't even be able to find those unless your phone was

unlocked. Exactly.

Oh, they could use the face thing to like, you're like, blah.

And they're like, face scan.

And they're like, oh, face unrecognisable.

And they tuck your tongue in and shut your mouth.

And yeah, hold your eye open.

Yeah, they might be able to back in first and then hold it open.

And get in that way.

Let's take some calls.

Liv, what's your partner saved in your phone as?

Good morning.

Saved in my phone as Matt from Newsflat, question mark.

Oh, my God, I love a question mark like, I think this is him.

And also you are flatmates turned lovers.

Yes, exactly.

So but at the time, it was when I was looking at a few flats

and this was like years and years ago.

And I wasn't sure if this was the flat I was going to move in with

because it was an all boys flash.

And I was like, I don't know.

No, thanks.

And I did end up moving in because it was a really nice room

and they think, like, great guys.

And yeah, but I left it as question marks.

I was still unsure at the time and kind of forgot about it

because we didn't really text that much.

And then actually ended up moving out, but we stayed friends.

And then a couple of years later, we got together and I still had his phone

saved phone number saved as Matt from Newsflat, question mark.

And we've been together five years and I've never changed it.

Yeah, you can never change that now.

Never.

That's a brilliant story.

Thanks, Liv.

Emma, what's your partner saved in your phone as?

Hi, my partner is saved in my phone as Captain Callipedian.

What is it?

Callipedian.

Callipedian.

And so if you Google it, it means well shaped buttocks.

What's your partner has well shaped buttocks?

I'm sorry.

He's a personal trainer and he has an absolute dump truck.

Dump truck.

Oh, yeah, right, good stuff.

We'll always applaud a dump truck here on the show.

We love dumps.

I don't get who's driving it.

Man, woman.

No, no.

Yeah, absolutely.

Can you pass on our congratulations to our dump truck?

Oh, I will.

I will.

He'll be very proud to know that his dump truck has made it on the official radio.

I mean, we wouldn't say no to a photo, but we will dance up to you.

That's amazing.

What is he just all this?

Not hurry on any hurry.

Let's do more about these buttocks like what can he press?

Yeah.

Oh, no, I was going to say, like, what?

What does he look best in jeans, tight shorts?

He's got like, he wears like, you know, the shorts, the short, what?

The three inch things and are like the small, small shorts, but not super short.

But you know, he's also got some really like stretchy jeans.

They just show it off.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How often do you smack it and say, I have a bit of that cake?

Oh, a lot.

There's a bit of competition now.

So there's a bit of butt envy in our house.

So you're working on your butt, too.

I mean, I mean, yeah, like, I have been nice, but in a relationship.

Well, he's all working on the butt.

Yeah, you've got to work on the butt.

Great stuff. So what is he smacking back?

So now I have a bit of that.

I'm just going to shut the shut of this conversation now.

I'm just in group therapy session.

I think he doesn't want to train you because he doesn't want you, you know,

taking the crown of the household's hottest butt.

I mean, it's like healthy competition.

Like he's trained together.

So like he's always in the gym doing his thing

and I'm actually on the way to the gym now to do my head thrusters.

What are you going to line up some squats?

You going to do some squats?

Head of honey.

You can do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get some head thrusters and some head thrusters.

Yeah, some lunges.

Or does the lunge make it leaner?

Probably makes it leaner.

Hip thrusts are key because they take it shelf.

That's like the top.

They take it shelf.

Oh, this is what I need.

You don't have the right equipment in the mail, Jim.

Yeah, that's where it's at.

OK, yeah, but I tell you what,

I tell you what, let me see that fat cake.

Give it a smack for me.

Yeah, give it a smack for me too.

I'm always out there smacking my way.

But even if you focus more on your own shelf,

got to work on the shelf.

Yeah, well, the shelf slipped off the bloody wall once I had 40.

Some more.

Well, it was only attached to the wall

using those things that go into jib and then

come out of those plastic anchors.

Those things are a waste of time.

I've got to put some structural reinforcement back there

and really get that shelf up.

Skucks Deluxe.

My partner put his own name in my phone for 10 years later.

It is still that.

Oh, no.

Babeface with the tractor emoji.

Babeface.

OK.

There's the tractor there.

His first name with heart eyes emoji three on each side.

OK.

My partner's name is Habba Habba.

Habi Habi Habba Habba.

Habba Baba.

Oh, my God.

What if you're finding, though, what if it's like,

hey, I really didn't like the way that you spoke to me today.

Habba Baba.

Habba Baba Jabba Jabba.

Yeah, they're ringing you to apologize.

And it's like Habba Baba Jabba Jabba.

Shabba la la la.

Um, Tossa.

Always has been and always will be Tossa.

I love my husband to bits.

You don't really sell me on that show.

Yes.

Lots, lots and lots and lots more.

Now everybody just wants to know about that shelf.

Everyone wants to see this person on trainer's butt.

Shelf life, baby.

Oh, another podcast in the bag.

The plastic bag.

Are they back?

No, no, still banned.

They never left.

That's where you come in with the line for.

Boy, man, if you enjoyed that.

OK.

Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review

and be sure to tell all of your friends.

God, I need some sleep.

ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.