ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th September 2023

the ZM podcast network. The Fleshhorn and Haley big pod. Treat yourself to

Mccaffay coffee with my Maccas rewards. Good morning welcome to the show Fleshhorn

and Haley. Three minutes past six. It's my cousin's birthday today. Oh that's

awesome. Do you wish your cousins. I genuinely would not know when my cousins

birthdays were. I know most of them. Really? Yeah. I don't have that many

cousins and I don't even know their birthdays. I see it on Facebook on my

awesome. I don't even know if I've ever heard you talk about your cousins. No.

It's all about you though. I'm in Australia. I've got twins and. It's just less

attention for you. Yeah they know when my birthday is. Exactly. As well they should.

Yeah. Guys I've eaten an underripe banana and I've got. Oh no that's the wrong

end of the ripe scum. Yeah and I've got stanky banana bread. Yeah it's all like flour. Yeah it feels.

Your teeth feel a little corn flowery. Yeah and just it's not good. Yeah. Don't come near me.

I need to. I would love to brush my teeth. Just get some water in there. Well on the show

today this week in fact the last week to get your hands on these Taylor Swift

tickets. Unreal really. So we've been doing this for three weeks. One week left. You

know the drill by now. Eight o'clock. Listen for the Taylor Swift song then

again at midday and be the first caller through at four when that third song

plays name all three and you win those tickets to Taylor Swift has sold out

show one of his sold out shows in Sydney. If you're not a Swifty and you're like

what's it all about. Go check out our TikTok. I wrote a song all about Taylor

Swift and all of her eras and I want to say it's popping off. It's popping. Are you finding some fans in

far-reaching places. I am including my own boyfriend who's just like how many

people are watching you. Millions. He was like unreal. Couldn't believe how famous

we were. Bless him. He's a new fan of the show. He doesn't have TikTok does he. He

doesn't have any of them. So he just didn't quite understand that people can

watch. That we're a big deal. He has a trio. It's good for you to remind him is it. Oh it's

good for me. Yeah. He's been on the TV. He's been on that far north show.

He has. You kind of humbled him there. You've got to beat the shit out of a car in the first

part of that final show. I'm waiting for that. I'm going to watch that all at once. Same.

I'm going to binge it. I would say watching my fiance of 12 years beat up a car on a TV

show was the biggest boner I've had. Literally months. It was rad. I was jealous. It was hot.

I was jealous. It was really hot. Today in 2006 we lost Steve Irwin. Seriously. 2006 which

was not 2016. My daughter referred to the other day as the olden days. It is. But what she's not

olden days. Counting there is that I'm still young. It is so long ago. I know why old A.

So hang on. Three years. That's going to be 20 years. Yeah. No get out. Yeah. No I promise you.

No you've got the dates wrong. Silly little poll on the way. Do you wear headphones at the supermarket?

This is quite divisive this one because I'll wear headphones. Walk around in my own world.

I did gross recesses with my headphones in. Listening to your podcasts or your music.

I listened to a playlist called Fast Classical Music for Dramatic Bitches.

It's a very fast classical. I was in the mood. I would really hope you get the shopping done.

Delving to the poll results soon with Silly Little Poll. But next on the show.

There's a woman who's having an absolute time at the moment due to her name.

It's a very difficult name to have in this day and age.

We all know that the two movies of the year.

Barbie and Oppenheimer. Yes. I still haven't seen Oppenheimer. Have you watched Oppenheimer yet?

I have not seen Oppenheimer. I just watched Mission Impossible. Oh not Mission Impossible.

Top Gun. Maverick. You've got to see Oppenheimer before it finishes the movies.

Everybody says it's a sound and it's beautiful. I also quite liked because people said the same

thing about Top Gun. But I quite enjoyed drinking a far too much lying on the floor at home going.

Faster Tom Cruise. Yes go. Go go go. Well they are the movies of the year and

everyone's talking about them. I would say within the last month everyone's been talking about those

films. Barbie has officially become the year's highest grossing movie in the world. We love this.

Beating the Super Mario Brothers movie. They can't have been many good movies.

Even Super Mario. That was good though. It was absolutely jam packed with nostalgia.

You mean what else was released? Not in a lot. There's been heaps of movies in a

Mission Impossible this year. Yeah. Mission Impossible didn't live up to its box office

expectations. No. It was good though. But there's been a few died superhero movies this year.

Like The Flash. Shit The Bed. Yeah right. Yeah that they were expecting to do better.

How embarrassing. Yeah it wasn't this year anyway. That tanked as well. Well there is a woman who

lives in Boston. Right. And her name is legitimately Barbara Oppenheimer. And she goes by Barbie.

So her name is Barbie Oppenheimer. She's Barbie Hymer. Like she is her name. The Barbie Hymer.

So her name's Barbara and she married a man whose surname was Oppenheimer. Wow. And what they recently

figured out because she was like oh my god it's a nightmare essentially. Living life as a Barbie

Oppenheimer. It wasn't until a month ago. Yeah totally. She's like I can't check in anywhere

with people without people commenting commenting on it. I can't like make a reservation at restaurants

without people. You would think it was a joke if you were taking that reservation. People are just like

oh okay. She's like no I am Barbara Oppenheimer. Anyway so her husband they worked out.

Her husband's father is third cousins with the father of the guy who made the atomic bomb.

Oh so she is of the Oppenheimer. Yeah so very her husband is very distantly

related to the actual Oppenheimer guy. Not a common name is it. Oppenheimer. You'd be somewhat

related with that last name. I would hand on hearts I have never met a Mr or Mrs Oppenheimer

ever. But yeah she's been sharing she was like it's totally a nightmare. She's like I get it.

This is an absolute nightmare. Yeah so her whole life she was Barbie and then she's like as I got

older it turned more to like Barb. So she goes by Barb rather than Barbie but she was like I am

Barbie Oppenheimer. That is amazing. I know. Imagine having a like a name that was so

I've now paints its own picture like aside from your identity. I feel sorry for those

people that just have a normal first and last name and then someone becomes famous with that

exact same name. Oh my friend Sam Smith he's a comedian in New Zealand and he always like as

soon as Sam Smith went huge as a singer Sam was like oh man not a singer. Yeah I'm Sam Smith

not the singer. Yeah don't have it in my friend Shakira. Yeah Shakira with her last name.

Just she didn't know last name. Wow so she just got a single name as well. Yeah and is she a singer

too? You're Shakira. Yes. Oh see that. Oh there's a lot of money to the tax department too.

So very similar. She's got that kind of throaty voice. Yeah. And her breasts are small and humble

which is lucky because I wouldn't confuse them with mountains. Because sometimes I do see a

nice big set of tips. Are those mountains? Are those mountains? Or are they your breasts?

I strap on my boots. I'm halfway up them. Woopsie.

It's well a lot of people on my Instagram are currently in Europe or have been in the last

few months. Yeah I've definitely I think I've passed peak Europe people I know in Europe.

I thought I had and then the next batch go. Yeah I thought it was over because like usually

July or August. Right like that's the worst time. And now it's September and people are still like

hitting off. Where's the lovelest place? I've heard I'm just thinking autumn now because they're

leaving this summer. They'll be moving into the autumn. It might be a bit later given the extreme

weather that we've been experiencing. But we're in the world as the most beautiful autumn spot

because I've heard Chicago. My mother-in-law in Chicago. Oh yeah I like Chicago. She just said

it's the most beautiful city in autumn when it all starts the brown and gold trees and stuff.

And the Ozarks. Oh yeah I want to go there just purely because of the show. After the Netflix

show. What do they call it? Fall. But I feel like in Europe you wouldn't you'd still be doing a ride

in like you know September, October. Yeah right. Still be beautiful. You and my parents have another

month left in Europe. An American student because it is expensive. Like a lot of I'm just like how

do people afford to be going for like two or three months? I've asked people who I know have no money.

Like how'd you get there? How'd you survive? What did you eat? Did they thank their credit cards?

Yeah. Or personal loans. A real like deal with it later. Yeah. Shut down I worked out a trip we

could have if our mortgage if we didn't have our mortgage. Yeah. It would be nice. But then we

wouldn't have a house for our children. So you've got to go. Yeah. Well an American student she has

spent a few months around Europe. She reckons she has saved about 6,000 New Zealand dollars on rent

because she goes and just basically hops around Europe house sitting for European. So she signed

up to a website and not European. She has spent her entire summer months traveling Europe and has

hardly ever paid rent. I think she might get an Airbnb or a hostel when she's in between house

sitting gigs. Yeah. But most of them just work out nice like she'll be in for example Berlin or

whatever and then she'll go to Italy and get the next gig. I looked at this when I first moved to

Auckland and I wasn't sure if I was going to stay or go back to Wellington. Yeah. And I was like oh I

don't want to get a flat and I don't you know necessarily want to keep leaching off of Aaron's

parents. So I was like if I could find a house sitting or pet sitting job and I looked at it

because it is it's free rent. Yeah. See house sitting is you just stay there and it's for free.

But if there's a pet, some of them pay you. You're working. Yeah. Some of them would actually pay you

to stay there. Yeah. Because if it was like a particularly big dog or something. But if there's

a pet, but you're also in someone else's house. There's a lot of stress. There's a lot of stress.

You can't mess the house up. No, I know. Like what if you accidentally flood the laundry because

you left a T-shirt in the sink. Well, I didn't even. Don't leave a T-shirt in the sink. And also

if you want washing machine is draining straight into your sink. I know. Let's organize you a bypass.

Yeah. Let's organize you the little hole in the back of the sink that goes down further into the

plug please. Into the glass. Yeah. Yeah. I will personally pop round and throw that in for you.

It's giving me no amount of anxiety knowing there are people draining their washing machine

straight into their tub. It's a real Kiwi thing. An old old days Kiwi thing. Just drain it into the

sink. There could even be like linty stuff that comes off out the load. It could block the sink.

And then it's very stressful. But you know, but that's the thing. You don't want to be house

sitting all these people's houses. And then someone goes, I don't know. I just you're like

traveling around Europe on your own. What if the night gets away on you? You know, what if you

meet a lovely delicious man in Portugal and now I don't want to go home? I'm going to go home and

feed your dumb dog instead of taking this beautiful Portuguese lover. But then can you take the hot

Portuguese guy back to the house sitting place? No, I can't mess up the sheets. They're not my

sheets. You can wash the sheets, but just make sure that the tub is there's nothing in the plug

hole if the washing machine drains straight in there. Or if it goes into the tub, I wonder if

Mr. Portuguese will be able to fix it. He might. Yeah. That's hot. Just be able to unplug. Also,

you would be the I wouldn't you would I think Haley would be the worst out of the three of us

to house it because you'd get drunk and vom on the patio. Yeah, I have a vom.

I have a vom. You've vomed on my on my pet. You had a vom. Yeah. I keep it all inside for

women. And then I'll take it. I'll take a poo that will really like really ruin everybody's day.

Wait. So none of us are trustworthy when it comes to house sitting. No. Okay.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll,

silly little poll, silly little poll. Today's silly little poll is do you wear headphones

in the supermarket? Yes. Always. You got to drown out everything. I also just love doing groceries.

Like I love it. I just go into my own world thinking about the food I want to make. You

listen to podcast or music? Well, last year, sometimes very heavy music. Okay. Yesterday,

classical music. What was your classical music playlist called? It's called Fast Classical

Music for Dramatic Bitches. It's such a good playlist. Yeah, it's a lot of a Voldy, a lot of

really fast strings. Is that bad when you're at supermarket shopping? Like, you know how you

shouldn't get excited? Yeah, you shouldn't go to the supermarket hungry. Should you be excitable?

Yeah, I am. I was excitable for sure. They made all sorts of rogue purchases, rash decisions.

Yeah, I purchased a very cheap and off-brand Prosecco because I was like, it was $14.

I bought some Prosecco at the weekend. Did you? It was a little out of sorts. I was going to make

my half-time Warriors cocktail. It was going to be an Aperol spritz, but it was going to be called

an aphorol spritz after Bunty, the Warriors player. But Bunty, you're not friends with him.

Bunty, I follow his name. Yeah, just see, just the way you sit up, you sound like you're friends

with them. See, I was going to make an Aperol spritz, but right. I might do this next season.

They were a cocktail at every half-time for the Warriors game. Right. Did it go to a different

Warriors? They were losing, so you just bought it. I packed such a shit. Oh my God, I packed such a

sock. Oh my God, you're deep in when your team's losing. Wow. Yeah. No, you don't deserve it.

Second-rate team. A third-rate team, the baby Broncos. Anyway, we're playing Penrith.

That's what we play next. Okay. Of course, we knew that up the was. Yeah, we knew that up the was.

Do you wear headphones in the supermarket? Yes, 32%, 68%. No. Oh, you got to be forced to listen

to that horrible supermarket music. Unless you're at Schaffer's New World in Wellington,

which is known for its playlist. It's literally got its own playlist on all your streaming services.

Sha said, I genuinely never considered doing this, but it would be great for my easily

overstimulated brain. That's me. Never thought about all the time. Place some relaxing tunes and

all the other noises. I only literally just take one ear out to order ham.

That's it. That's the only time I take them out. Could you pause it?

Then I have to take them out. No, but then it's rude. It looks like you've got your headphones.

Yeah, it's like I'm not engaged with them. It feels rude.

Our witness says, I do this. I'm a busy working mum and it's a little bit of me time while doing

the shopping. Yeah. Yeah, totally. You can go in your own world. Yeah. I imagine she's got her kids

there, but they're just screaming, but she can't hear them because she's got some great noise

cancelling. Oh, yes. The noise cancelling headphones is so great.

God, yes. Especially if you have kids. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Do you know on my hike at the weekend, we went past this mum and her two teenage kids and the

teenage kid had headphones on, on a hike. What a prank. Would you have got a hiding?

Yeah, absolutely. I said at restaurants kids with headphones on. We never let our kids wear

headphones. Like while they're eating and stuff, nothing, but if it's just boring adult chat,

they can go on devices or whatever. But the head there is something about the headphones.

It's rude. I would have got same. Yeah, same. Especially in nature.

In nature, it just would never reveal them. Your parents would have been screaming at you in nature.

You're going to trade. You enjoy this nature. Maddie says wearing headphones in a public

place is a great way of saying, don't talk to me. Yeah, that's what I like.

Yeah. Sarah, I don't wear them because I'm not a rude bitch.

Well, Sarah's words are not mine. Katie, always take them out when you get to check out, please.

Yeah, 100%. Oh, you're always? Yeah, yeah. I'm a self-serve. I'm not taking

them out for self-serve. Yeah, you self-serve your whole bloody weekly shop, though.

Yeah, I'm quick. There's hardly anyone around. I don't care about that sign. 40 items. You're

like, oh, well, what are you going to do? Arrest me? Yeah, they will. What are you,

what are you in here for? I had 40 items in the 12 or less.

Wow, bad boy, bad boy. A bottleneck.

It makes a boring task enjoyable. I listened to your podcast when I'm shopping, in fact.

Oh, yeah, okay. Well, thank you for that, Monique. It just gets awkward sometimes

if I have to stifle a smirk or a giggle. Well, don't stifle it a little loud. Laugh out louder.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what we say, isn't it? That's what we say. Laugh.

Rachel says, only because I do the groceries with my two-year-old, no, I don't think he'd

appreciate that. So she doesn't wear headphones, but only because he's a two-year-old.

He could have his own headphones. Oh, God, I can't think of any words.

Split jack. Doing the groceries with a kid.

Well, with a kid. Well, it's your order.

Bring that to the 70s when you could just leave them in the car, you know?

I know. Outside the traffic. Crack a window.

Yeah. Yeah. She'll be right.

And you wouldn't take the cigarette lighter out, because you'll lose that.

And then later on, when you will light your durries, you don't want to be without that.

Tim says, how's am I going to listen to the FVHZM podcast now available on iHeartRadio?

He's a kiss arse, but we like it. Oh, my God, we love it.

Tim from Timoroo.

Yes, I cannot deal with you screaming little crotch goblins.

That's what Mason calls children. Crotch goblins.

That was actually Fletcher's nickname in high school.

Oh, crotch goblins.

We've talked about elaborate proposals before.

I mean, only last week, here's someone proposed over the intercom at Auckland International

Airport. Yeah. And we all went.

Well, it's just like nobody's ever stepped off a long haul flight thinking, I feel fantastic.

Oh, no. And right now in my stink, I would like to be proposed.

There is must everywhere. And your face is puffy.

Sometimes your passport doesn't scan because you're too puffy.

Because you're so puffy and we're retaining a lot of water.

Yeah. Yeah.

Crotch rock going on.

We're going to get out of here.

Well, apparently there's a huge trend, and I didn't realise this,

of people who are using proposal planners.

So not only like in themselves planning an elaborate proposal, which if that's your vibe,

sure. But spending money to hire almost like a wedding planner, a proposal planner.

Just for the proposal.

Dropping money on things like locations, lighting, gifts, flowers, photographers.

A whole shebang. Oh, wow.

People are spending around about, on average, $5,000 New Zealand dollars on a proposal.

$5,000. $5,000. Jesus Christ.

And wedding planners. Excuse me.

My blaspheme.

Oh my God. I really hit the sa and the cr.

You did.

On that. That's insanity. $5,000 on a proposal.

Some people.

Much more than that on a wedding day.

Let's just pump the brakes on the proposal.

So a proposal planner has shared that one of their clients spent 160,000 pounds.

So about over $300,000 to hire a swanky private venue and have a band there and a

photographer and all this kind of stuff.

And the pressure to say yes.

You'd have to be pretty sure they're going to say yes.

It's a no from me. This is too much.

And then they're like, one of the things that people are considering is having it be Instagram worthy.

So what light you were saying, having lighting ready?

Lighting.

You step onto like some kind of stage that's been pre-prepared and there's a ring light and

360 degree.

What are you, Travis Barker and bloody one of the Kardashians?

It's so weird to me.

This isn't even the wedding.

What is your wedding costing?

If you're spending thousands and thousands on an elaborate.

Oh my God.

That's the most expensive.

A very expensive day.

I know.

Well, apparently it's like this, the increase in proposal planners happen during lockdown.

I guess they said that people just have more time to plan these elaborate things.

You're locked down in the summon.

You realize you want to marry them.

Lockdown had the opposite effect on me.

And there's a people are just spending all this money on these proposals.

My proposal was free other than the ring and the dinner we had.

We had a nice night out.

You had a weekend away.

So that wasn't free.

Was it?

No, but the weekend away was a weekend away.

It was a weekend away.

Yeah, but exactly.

It's just part of a weekend away.

The proposal was only one part of it.

I actually just tagged the proposal on there to save myself some money.

It's a classic smithy.

Yeah, absolutely.

I might as well do it here.

Yeah, cut in corners over here.

Yeah.

From the bustling ZM think tank.

This is the top six.

Hello and welcome to the top six.

It's an extra bit of pod day.

Have an extra serving of pod day.

This is the national day.

This is apparently a thing from England.

This is apparently a thing.

Desserts have been part of the human culture for centuries.

The origins of eating extra dessert day are unclear.

Yeah, but I don't care.

I was struggling for a top six today.

So shut up and put up or shut up.

Put up or shut up.

Wow, we've been told.

Is that the same?

Put up or shut up or put up and shut up.

Put up or shut up.

Yeah, put up or shut up.

I'm going to put up.

Do you reckon that means like put up your dukes?

Put up.

Yeah, put them up.

Put them up.

Top six pods they have a little more of when there's no put in the house.

Doesn't suck when there's no pudding in the house.

And you're in the mood.

Oh, I purposely have no pudding in the house.

Otherwise, all the pudding gets eaten at once.

I bought Aaron a frozen Cerely cheesecake for a while away.

Did he have it for lunch?

No, he's excited to eat it today.

Okay, he's going to have it today.

What cheesecake?

Mixed berry.

Fine choice.

Thank you.

Fine choice.

Thank you.

Yeah, I look after my man.

Yeah.

Top six pods they have a little more of when there's no put in the house.

Number six on the list.

Self-sourcing pudding.

Yum!

My mum makes the greatest self-sourcing pudding in the microwave, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, wow.

I love the microwave one.

I think she knows it off by heart now.

Oh, yeah.

But she'll put it on here.

Caramel.

Wild.

And she makes it out of like nothing.

I think it's like flour, raisins and brown sugar.

Raisins.

Sorry, sultanas is yuck.

Even sultanas, no.

Oh, my God, I used to make self-sourcing pudding,

but I would never put raisins in it.

But a little man likes raisins.

Oh, my God.

She doesn't for a little man.

Oh, my God.

Mummy, there's no raisins in her.

Oh, my sweet little raisins.

Mummy, I like raisins.

Number five on the list of the top six puds

to have a little more of when there's no put in the house.

Cake and a mug.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we do microwave mug cake.

Yeah.

Get it in the mug.

How long's it in for?

Not long, eh?

A ramekin.

40 seconds.

A ramekin.

Yeah, ramekin.

Yeah.

If you're posh, you can use a ramekin.

You can use a ramekin.

Yeah.

Welcome to the good life.

Never.

Surro would never.

Number four on the list of the top six puds

to have a little more of when there's no put at home.

Milo soup.

Ah, yes.

It's where you get ice cream and you let it melt.

And then you just jam in heaps of Milo

and then you just stir it up and it looks like soup.

Yeah.

You got Milo soup.

And then you can go.

But see, if there's ice cream in the house, that's pudding.

That's pud.

So there is pud.

Yeah.

So you just have a scoop of Milo.

So you're just having a Milo.

You're just straight out having a whole Milo.

I'm in a little Milo soup.

Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six puds

to have a little more of when there's no put in the house.

Ah, a yogurt or a dairy food out of a little puddle,

but the deal is no spoons.

Oh, you got to squeeze it.

You got to squeeze it.

That's a good.

Gives a little bit of a genie say, quat.

Yeah.

If you're pulling off the tin foil.

How is genie say, quat?

She's still squatting.

Yeah.

Such powerful flies.

Oh, the quads on this chair.

Oh, she's a absolute powerhouse.

Number two on the list of the top six puds

to have a little more of when there's no put in the house.

Just make yourself a bowl of icing.

I used to do this.

Icing, sugar, butter and.

Yeah.

Chocolate or cocoa.

I used to do this all the time after school.

Make icing.

Make yourself icing.

Cheap icing at Edmunds icing.

Or just make fudge because there was always lots of sugar.

Yeah.

What was it?

What was fudge?

Sugar and butter and.

Sugar, butter and like cocoa.

Yeah.

And then just boil it.

Yeah.

Like boil it.

Put it into a tray.

Done.

Done.

You got yourself some pud.

And number one on the top six puds to have

on either extra pudding day,

if there's no put in the house,

a plate of microwaved baking chocolate.

You microwave it and it goes soft and like gooey and.

You just lick it from the plate.

Yeah.

It's hot though.

Careful.

Careful on that.

It's going to be hot.

These also could have been after school treats.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Of course our last school treats would have been

an entire bag of farm back biscuits.

Yeah.

God damn those things got hiding in the 90s.

That is the day's top six.

Play.

Zerem's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

It's eight minutes past seven.

I thought you just said your own name wrong.

It's felt weird.

Flauch.

Yeah.

You've done it again.

You've done it a couple of times.

You've been someone who's trying to hurry up.

You've done it a couple of times.

Hurry up.

Jesus Christ.

He's going to throw us away.

Please run.

You've run a faffing around.

And you're the one who says your own name wrong.

It's bizarre.

You've had it since you were a kid.

There is an app that I would like to share.

Flauch.

Vorgan.

It's called swipe wipe.

And I can do with this because

I have, if I look on my photos, right,

you know how you go in.

I've got 56,000 photos on this phone.

Oh my God.

You are both photo hoarders.

Yeah, you are both photo hoarders.

Yeah.

And I just, I will never look at them.

I will look at 10 of them a year, I reckon.

There is an app called swipe wipe,

and it's like Tinder for your own photo album,

which is, this is genius.

So you download it, right,

and you give access to your photos.

Swipe wipe.

Well, that's a problem, isn't it?

Swipe away.

You're giving an app access to your camera roll.

Oh yeah.

I can't even imagine what's on his camera roll.

Just foot.

God, he cleans it out.

He cleans it out.

Excuse me, a lot of photos of hiking weekend.

It's like a septic tank.

His photo album has got to clean it out.

So you think yours is fine.

Give me your phone.

That photo is not fine.

Yeah, give me your phone.

Give me your phone.

I'll look through and I'll tell you whether it's fine or not.

I just went deleting photos.

Well, Anili, I wouldn't have this lovely photo of a waterfall.

From a wind.

I don't know, dude.

When did you take that?

It says waterfalls over the years.

I love that.

I love that.

How many percent?

How many percent?

Like, well, I'm going to chuck you together a little present,

and it's something like waterfalls over the years.

Look, I've got remember when.

I've got to remember when.

Oh, that's remember when you had a job on television,

basically.

It's just rubbing it.

That's why BPA.

I've got pet friends.

Oh yeah?

It's my dead cat.

I hate these.

I don't want to talk about that.

Remember when you were thin should be the album?

Yeah.

Do you remember 15 KGs ago chups?

Well, this one goes on and it's like a daily activity,

almost like a game.

OK.

You go on, it says on this day, and you go on it,

and it's like Tinder, where it'll show you a photo

and you swipe left.

Which ones get rid?

Swipe right to keep, as in like, yes, as you would on Tinder.

Keep that photo.

Left to delete, and it's gone.

You still do it every day.

It will move those photos to your deleted items.

To your deleted items.

Oh, because you know, you just Tinder.

You always take photos, like you take 10 different photos.

Totally.

And you only want one.

You only want one.

Well, like, I always take a photo of like the moon.

I'm like, oh my god, that's amazing.

And I take a photo.

I'll literally say, there's a photo.

I'll never look it again.

Yeah, 100%.

Like vistas and sunsets and stuff.

You're like, I might send it to my mum, but then I'm done.

Yeah.

So this one, you just Tinder it until you're over it,

and that's it.

And then just before you close the app,

it shows you all the photos you've deleted,

and you can go through them one last time and be like,

yeah, I'm happy to get rid of those.

Delete gone.

And then they're gone.

And then it comes up.

Oh, it's your success.

And it shows you how many images you've deleted,

how much storage you've saved.

Because they're there.

And then because you're like all the time,

and then you tick it off like a to-do list,

being like, I've done July.

Now I'm going to do August.

And if you were just like bored,

if you're on a plane or waiting for something,

waiting for friends, you could just spend five minutes

just clearing you.

And it's like a game.

It's like a game.

I love this.

On this day.

I'm on an on this day.

I get rid of lots of these things.

Not that one.

That's my proper eating a pie.

It's cute.

Keep that.

Keep that.

That's my friend.

I'm even going to look at that.

OK.

I'm going to look at that.

So what's this app called again?

Swipe Wipe.

Swipe Wipe.

Swipe Wipe.

Tindip your phone.

The same people who bought your house party

during the lockdown.

Well, we all downloaded it.

And a few weeks later, someone's like,

you know that that's a bad app.

And everyone was like, oh, man.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Not by the house party.

It's got the same sort of aesthetic, though,

if I can be completely honest.

Yeah, it does.

It's by Afternoon Products.

Let's see what else Afternoon Products is.

Remember?

That app was loyal.

No, our first product is Swipe Wipe.

Our first product is Swipe Wipe.

But then that was all a smear campaign for house party.

It turned out that house party was fine.

But then everybody got rid of it, didn't they?

Everybody was like, oh, TikTok told us it was bad.

And meanwhile, TikTok's like, yes, it's the bad guy.

It's sabotage.

No, it's me.

Let's talk chickens next on the show.

Yeah.

How they work.

Shannon, she's got questions.

And the social medias has a lot of questions.

Yeah.

Fair enough.

They're bizarre.

You know, I guess they are.

They are weird.

They're really weird.

Bird's on a hole at weird, man.

Play it.

Zedem's, Fletch, Volna Naly.

Oh, we're going back.

Wow, it was before we went on holiday.

The week before we went on holiday,

we got a batch of new brown shavers.

That's a type of chicken that lay an egg.

Do you remember when we were kids

and the eggs were always white?

Yeah.

Why?

That was weird, eh?

Why were they always white?

Different laying chickens.

Oh, OK.

And brown shavers lay those more like familiar,

sort of a brownie egg, a darker egg.

I personally am a fan of your new chickens

because we got eggs.

We got eggs on fire.

But omelette was just orange.

Yeah, it's good.

It's rich.

It's good stuff.

And I bought a whole lot of eggs in

because there's 10 of them now

and two remaining Clark Dash ends

have really upped their game.

They're laying again.

Oh, because they're like,

we've got some new hens on the block.

We've got a lay too.

Just step it up.

OK.

So you're getting like 10 eggs a day?

Yeah, 10 or 12 eggs a day.

Wow.

Just good stuff.

And I bought some into work

and passed them around.

And that was when Shannon started having

questions about chickens.

And I repeated some of these questions to my wife

and she's like, that's all right.

Not everybody grew up on a farm.

I'm like, I don't think you'd have to grow up on a farm.

You just would have been curious.

I didn't grow up on a farm.

Tell me these questions, she said.

Well, we'll just go straight to her

for some questions about chickens.

Chicken curiosity.

Chicken Q&A.

Yeah.

I'm aware this is a big gap in my knowledge.

I know how ditzy I sound,

but it's just something I never experienced.

But I just didn't understand

why they come out so quick.

Like, why do you have so many?

How often are you menstruating?

That's what I thought.

I thought, isn't it like having a baby?

So wouldn't it take a while to make an egg?

I don't know.

No, they can crank out one a day.

Yeah, 24 hours.

They're menstruating constantly.

Yes, and that's the length of their cycle.

But it's not the same as a pregnancy.

Well, their cycle's 24 hours.

Yeah.

From about lunchtime till 6 in the evening, real birds.

Oh, my God, such a bird.

And then after that, quite tired.

Yeah, the sweet spot.

Where's the egg in it?

Do they have like a uterus?

They're just an egg floating.

They've got to, no, no, there's an egg production machine,

and then when it gets ready,

like the end of the chain is their cloaca,

which is the one one-stop shop.

That's the same hole they poop out of and everything.

They've got one hole.

That's one real one efficient egg.

And it comes out.

And that's so, but then it would take that to be fertilized.

And that's the thing like a rooster gets in mates

with the chicken, which is very brutal.

If you've ever seen it happen.

What is it?

What does a rooster's penis look like?

Is it twisted like a duck's?

No, that's a pig.

No, that's a pig's tail.

No, pigs have.

Pigs don't have to be the ones.

Pigs do have curly penises.

Yeah, they do.

Pigs do.

Don't they have cork or screws?

No, you're thinking of a duck.

No, pigs also have it.

The penis, which is long and rigid,

has an S shape on a pig.

Oh yeah, but you've got an S pen now,

like a toilet pen.

An anti-clockwise spiral at the end.

So it goes S, and then it goes halalala.

That's the actual noise.

So that was an actual recording of the pigs.

Okay, so, and what other questions

did you have about chickens?

Oh, so the rooster, sorry, the rooster puts the,

this is just biology, kids.

Puts the semen in.

The chicken can hold on to it for a month

and slowly like add a little bit more

to each egg as it comes out.

She's trapping them.

And so that's why they like still,

you know when they have,

so they're laying one a day,

but then if they're sitting on a batch of 10,

they'll all hatch within like the same time.

It's like they pretty much put a pause on it.

It's amazing, right?

That's...

Chickens are a hell of an animal.

My other question,

do they miss their eggs?

They just made this thing and then you tip them.

When you menstruate,

do you miss it when it comes to that?

Well, no, but I feel like they've worked hard

and like you just, they like,

don't they sit on them to keep them warm?

No, that's when they get like broody,

they'll stay sitting on them.

Yes, and then you just take them

and then we eat them.

Yeah.

It feels a bit...

Yeah, man.

Yeah, you're familiar with the beef

and lamb in the street?

I can't tell you what we do to cows.

It's a little bit...

No, they just like lay them

and then they go about their day.

So they don't...

But if they get broody, they'll sit on them.

They don't have an emotional attachment to them.

No, it's almost like they know that those ones

don't have tricks in them.

Yeah, and they know about omelets.

Oh, okay.

Dude, they'll eat their own eggs.

Yeah.

Oh, now that's weird.

They'll eat their own eggs.

For like, I'm lacking a bit of something

I actually can't afford to be without that.

They'll eat their own eggs

because when you they eat their own eggs,

you're like, oh, I've got a...

Add some calcium.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get some little calcium flakes.

Yeah.

Do they get jealous if they can't,

like can they all lay eggs

or can just some of them?

Some of them don't.

Yeah, they infertile.

Yeah.

Inflospitable wombs, maybe.

And then do they feel embarrassed?

Bearing women.

Does everyone just show up to the morning coffee

with an egg to show each other?

And they're like, here's what I made last night.

And does one of them say, well, I didn't make one?

I didn't make one today.

Don't talk, babe.

Now, I don't know if it's that.

I don't know if it's that.

I mean, I think you're over-complicating things.

Shannon also wanted to know in the group chat

how the numbers get on top of the eggs.

Yeah.

No, that was...

That was Colin.

That was Colin.

You're right.

No, no, no.

I wanted to know what they mean.

I knew that Vaughn was putting the number there.

Ah.

I was...

So they're going to pencil in the womb.

Yeah.

I never thought I'd see them before.

And they're an amazing animal.

Maybe that was the date that they were laid.

Yeah.

So you know if they're officially out.

And you eat the oldest ones first.

This feels like a full-time job for you.

How long does it take first?

Quite a while.

Wakes.

You know what blows my mind is in America and overseas

when you're in a supermarket.

All the eggs are in the fridges

in a refrigerated section, but in New Zealand,

ours are just on the shelves.

You don't need to refrigerate them.

But I put my...

I take my shelf eggs and I put them in the fridge.

Yeah.

It makes them last longer.

Yeah.

But that's why Americans do it.

To make it last longer.

Whereas our eggs are closer to the source,

so they get put in the supermarket.

Yeah, eat them, yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah.

Right, it's from Asta.

From Asta Plate is a bit quicker.

Our A to P ratio is...

A to P.

That's a really fast...

That's a quicker thing.

ZM.

GirlMath.

GirlMath.

GirlMath.

GirlMath.

Well, it's taken the world by storm.

GirlMath.

That's right.

All over TikTok.

It's been on BuzzFeed.

It's been on all these incredible news websites around the world.

Absolutely.

And some brands are using it, right?

To advertise things.

They're saying, like,

if you think you can't afford this thing,

GirlMath it.

I admire their...

It's basically free.

Exactly.

Now, fun is...

Well, they're jumping on a trend, aren't they?

They aren't jumping on a trend.

We are trendsetters.

F-E-H, ZM.

Now, Bunnings, a massive company,

have shared on their TikTok

a bit of GirlMath, right?

They have a stool,

an outdoor decorative stool.

It's cute.

Is it for sitting on or a table?

Well, that's the debate, right?

It's an outdoor decorative stool.

Okay.

So, in their GirlMaths,

they've said,

GirlMath, your way to owning this decorative stool.

And they show the stool,

and they say you can use the stool as a seat,

as a plant stand, as a side table,

as an accessory stand to display home decor.

Basically, you're getting many pieces of furniture

for the price of one.

And if you use it every day,

it's less than a dollar a day.

So, this stool is basically...

They don't say it's basically free.

They're saying it's a dollar a day,

if you use it every day.

They've absolutely missed the mark.

I don't know if a business can say it's basically free.

Because then people are going to rock in and be like...

People like Shannon,

that don't know how chickens work,

are going to walk into Bunnings

and say, I want my free stool.

Good thing she's pretty.

I say every day, good thing she's pretty.

Now, girlies, the thing...

The whole point of GirlMath

is to get it down as low as you can imagine.

Yeah, exactly.

To the fact that it's basically free.

They're saying a dollar a day,

if you use it every day.

So, they say it's $89.

So, they're saying this stool,

that I'm spending $89,

is only going to last 89 days.

Yeah, surely it's going to last longer than that.

We've just looked up the material at cement.

Yeah. It's cement.

Oh, I've got it.

It's going to last for whatever.

Exactly.

I've probably finished curing properly yet.

And after you use it as cement,

you can put it into some kind of grinder

and use it as driveway.

I mean, already I can think of a thousand

different uses for this stool.

Well, I've just seen, it's about 19 kgs

and looking at the price of concrete,

you know, that's about $20 to $30 worth of concrete.

So, you're already knocking that off the price.

You're already whacking off the cost

of the materials that they're making here.

So, you want to do better GirlMath.

I want to do better GirlMath.

For bunnings.

For bunnings.

Okay, right.

Now, in the bunnings,

have we got the bunnings theme tune?

Yeah, I can bring that in for you.

Yeah, I'd quite like that.

We'll also need it delivered in style

of bunnings employee.

Okay.

You know, the ads.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know.

Okay.

Here at Bunnings, we like to keep prices low.

So, I want to tell you how to GirlMath this stool

so that it's not $80 died dollars.

It's basically free.

I love my job.

They're not paying me to do this ad.

Can't believe it.

They actually don't.

They actually,

remember we knew some of, we worked this one.

They're going to call me on on my day off.

Yeah, they'll do that too.

Hi, I'm Cassandra.

And I work at Bunnings.

Here's how this stool is not a dollar a day.

It's way less.

Now, you can use the stool five different ways.

That's what Bunnings told me.

If you're using this every day for a year,

it's not, it's, it's 365 divided by five different ways.

So, that's, oh, that's 73 dollars.

So, you've already knocked that off

and you remove $30.

Now, it's $40.

Divide that by five for the use.

It's $8.

So, it's not $89.

It's $8.

And then, if you're going to gravel it up

and put it into a driveway,

how much does it cost to re-gravel a driveway?

Thousands.

Now you're making thousands.

You'd have to go down to old 37 and ask them.

I think it's not really my area of expertise.

It's Bunnings.

They won't know either.

Oh, shots by.

Shots by.

Shots by.

That's my 10 girl.

Let's say it's $2,000 to re-gravel a driveway.

You've just made yourself.

What, are you going to smash up the concrete table yourself?

Yeah.

I don't think it's going to re-gravel an entire driveway.

No, it'll do it like that.

And here's some backfill, though.

It'd be great for backfill if you're doing a retaining wall.

Here at Bunnings, you can buy this still

and make $1,992.

Bunnings, you can count on us to keep our prices down.

That's the countdown.

That's the countdown.

That's the countdown.

We'll be able to compete at this price by 15 percent or more.

We'll beat it by 15 percent.

Oh, well, let's add 15 percent there.

You're literally making about $3,000.

Roughly.

Basically free.

It's basically free.

Per table.

Bunnings thought that it was going to be a dollar a day.

They've grossly overestimated the cost of this still.

It's basically free.

And I love Bunnings and I love working for Bunnings.

Thank you, Cassandra.

Thank you.

I'm Cassandra from Bunnings.

And cut.

Cassandra, get back to the garden center.

Sorry.

I'm going now.

Jesus.

Sorry.

I'll leave.

There are big, really big, weird, flat trolleys

that need to be put back in the rack.

OK.

Oh, God.

Get out of here.

Do I get paid for this ad?

Absolutely not.

No.

You don't.

I'm not advertising the company.

Yeah, but it's great experience to get your face out there.

If this was a 19-year-old get paid.

A casting director might see you on this ad

and feel like that's who I am.

Hang on.

Now this person who works at Bunnings

is going to be making...

What did someone make on their last film?

I mean, what is...

Well, Margot Roberts just made,

what they reckon close to over $100 million.

Oh, my God.

You buy the stool from Bunnings

and you're a Bunnings employee.

You're making...

You have potentially sitting on $100 million.

Adele.

Now, she's a cool girl, right?

She is a cool girl and she's trendy

and she's fashionable.

And we think of her as having a luxe

life.

When I think of Adele,

I don't think of her house as including

mini Christmas house.

Like a little Christmas village.

If you watch the latest series of The Kardashians,

Kris Jenner does this.

She gets little doll houses and Christmas themes them.

What?

And gave them to all the kids who are all like 40.

Yeah, and like, what are we going to do with this?

So she...

Like Adele does this as well.

She collects these little mini Christmas houses

and creates these small Christmas villages.

What?

It's so off.

It's so weird.

Thousands and thousands of dollars worth

of miniature Christmas houses.

So she'll just go on like,

what their version of Trade Me eBay, I'm guessing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then just spend thousands of pounds

on little mini Christmas villages.

Yeah.

So she has like a...

She had a few and then it got out of hand

and she like couldn't stop collecting them.

Yeah.

And now she just has like a huge collection

of mini Christmas houses.

Right.

It's so off.

Like, where are you putting these things?

They're the tackiest little things.

Yeah, she'd have like nice houses, right?

Because does she live in L.A.?

She lives in L.A. and the UK.

Yeah, totally.

Where are you putting these weird villages,

these strange miniature villages?

Is this the man, the man version of having a train seat?

Kinda, yeah.

Like the woman version rounder?

The woman version, these little weird Christmas villages.

Yeah.

Also, what are you doing with these for the other 11 months?

Here's some here.

Like, they're just really tacky.

They're so tacky.

So she would just have rooms.

I'm imagining she's got more rooms than...

She's got a mansion.

Yeah, so she'll just get the help

to put it all in a room, wouldn't she?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's bizarre, but she said that it just started.

Like, people bought them for her for like Christmas girls.

And she's like, oh, I like these.

A lot.

Yeah, these are bloody nice.

And then she's like, I want to get some more.

And like, bought a whole lot more.

And now she's like, I can't stop.

And then her boyfriend was like...

And then people will buy them for her as gifts.

She's made herself known as the crazy...

Christmas village lady.

The Christmas village lady.

So if anybody is even anywhere and sees one,

of course they have to buy it.

Yeah.

So she just goes on Amazon and buys entire collections.

So it's like someone dies and she's like, I'll buy it.

Yeah.

And her boyfriend's like, okay, well, calm down.

Like, don't go too much.

She's like, I can't.

I've been buying them on Amazon, these huge displays.

And she's like, I'm just trying to work out

how I can display all of these effing villages.

I don't want to sell them.

And I can't put them away and store it.

So I've got to work out how to display them.

Some of them are battery operated.

I've got little lights.

Yeah, I know exactly the ones.

I think my mother-in-law's got a handful of them.

She's got...

She says she reckons she's got about 800 of these houses.

800.

800.

And it's only going to get worse now because people who make them

are going to send them to her.

I hope they make the gram, get the tag.

Minutum village obsessions.

Yeah.

I wonder if we could take some calls and texts

of what your weird obsession is that you can't stop collecting.

You know, maybe you started, maybe you're like one of those people

that have like the beanie babies.

You're like, I'll just get a couple.

Now you've got 800 of the things and you're like,

well, I've got to display them.

Well, you started collecting like Happy Meal toys

when you were a kid and now you're 40.

And now you've got so many.

Yeah.

And you just can't stop.

Can you beat 800?

And what is the weird thing that you can't stop collecting?

Because some people collect pens, eh?

Like pens.

Oh, yeah, totally.

They just keep them up on springs and stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

Wet lighters.

And it's like one day you just sort of thought,

oh, I like those.

I might get a few of them.

And now I've got 20 and you're like,

oh, I think I might start collecting these.

And then it just gets out of hand.

And now you've got 800 miniature light-up houses.

What is it that old people love?

Is it elephant statues or dolphin statues?

Oh, those are dolphins.

Dolphins are a big dolphin.

Crystal wear.

Yeah.

Swarovski.

Swarovski crystal statues.

Yeah.

OK, 0800-DALZED-M, maybe you're like Adele

and you've got this weird addiction

to collecting unusual things.

Yeah.

Give us a call.

0800-DALZED-M, text in 96696.

What is the odd or strange thing

that you just cannot stop collecting?

I'm wanting to know the strange thing

you can't stop collecting.

Because Adele collects weird miniature homes

that all light up and they're Christmas themed.

Emma, you collect scented candles.

Yes.

Do you burn them at all

or do you just leave them in their containers?

No, I definitely do use them.

There's been times where I've left them on for hours.

But yeah, I think at one point

I had almost 30 in my room.

A lot of them had been used,

but I just couldn't get rid of them.

I didn't want to get rid of them.

How do you breathe?

I don't know.

I just love them so much.

Your room would smell like one of those lush doors.

It's just too much.

You know, there's too much scent.

Yeah.

We should send Emma one of your girls' candles.

Well, she can pay, actually.

She's, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

We're doing freebies?

Are we doing freebies?

Friends get freebies.

Because I tell you what,

the girls gifted me a candle yesterday.

God, it's so strong.

It smells so good.

Emma would lap it up.

Emma, thank you for your call.

Sarah, what is the item you cannot stop collecting?

I collected soaps.

Soaps?

What?

Like soap?

Soap bars.

Well, you know, like...

Oh, yeah.

Body shop soap.

But they would seem like a bunch of grapes

and a banana in a lime.

Dude, this is what we used to buy our mum

for Mother's Day every year

when we didn't know what to buy for Mother's Day.

A little basket and it had like all the soaps in it.

The shape soaps.

Yes.

It's a banana.

So, yeah.

And I used to just go mad on those and started.

I had an Avon key.

And this was probably going to be about 40 years

when it first started.

And it was a pink Avon key.

So, it was a heart made out of soap.

And then you lifted the lid off

and there was a white key on the inside.

And it was very cool.

And I loved it.

And that's where it kind of all started.

Can you hear how jazzed she is?

You are so jazzed.

She's taking a big walk down this road.

Sarah, what are your thoughts on liquid soap?

Because I don't like a bar soap.

Look, liquid soaps really have...

Because I never used these soaps.

So, you know...

Don't you...

What's the point of collecting them then?

Hey, it's a collection.

You don't use them.

Do you know who's inheriting these soaps, Sarah?

Have you got some of them?

Well, kind of.

When I went to our house and you thought I was a bit nuts

with about 275 soaps I didn't use.

And by this day, half of them didn't have the smell.

They had all faded.

I had wrapped them carefully in tissue

when I went overseas, came back.

And, yeah, unfortunately, I had to kind of bin

quite a few of them.

Listen to that.

You see how they tear you down?

Track down on the track on any words.

We're wanting to know the strange things that you collect.

Adele has an issue.

She's got an addiction.

Yeah, there's like many Christmas houses.

She's got like 800 of them at the moment.

Like whole villages and they light up.

Yeah, and she was like, I can't stop.

My boyfriend keeps saying like, stop.

I can't.

We want to know what you collect.

Abby, what is the thing that you can't stop collecting?

Hi, I collect soft toys.

Any kind?

Any specific kind or just all soft toys?

Just all soft toys.

How old are you at the moment, Abby?

I'm 12.

Yeah, see, still OK at 12.

And another 10 years, I am going to be slightly worried.

Do you have a favorite, Abby?

Oh, Kermit the Frog from the Muppet show.

Yeah, Kermit rules.

Yeah.

How old is Kermit?

Has he been one of your original toys?

Yeah, I think I've had him since I was three.

I stole him off my mum, actually.

So you all say to Abby that you might not have these things.

I got my quali when I was three.

I sleep with quali every night and I'm steady three.

So you've got a long life of these soft toys.

You used to look after them.

Don't put them in the washing machine.

Yeah, don't wash Kermit.

Abby, it's been a while, but I will dust this off for you.

Oh, God.

Hi, all.

This is Kermit the Frog for Sesame Street News.

Yeah.

It's a good good.

Just for you.

You got Abby's approval.

Yeah, Abby, thank you.

Some messages in the things you just can't stop collecting.

I've been obsession to anything elephant.

So I have so many elephant related things all over my room.

And family says I'm like an old lady.

An old lady.

Yeah, my husband collects Lego minifigs,

but he's mad now because they've started coming in boxes

and you can't feel the, because they were like blind bags.

And you had to, you could grab a bag,

but if you knew what you're feeling for,

you might be able to work out when you don't have.

But now they're in a box.

So you can't feel the minifigs up.

You can't get a good groping before, you know,

and then you get double ups and you have to do the trading.

Yeah, I see some minifig trading and it was like,

you remember when how crazy it was at the end of like countdown

things where they have the tiles and everything

and they do the trading, it was like that level

of obsessive trading.

I've got a obsession for collecting key rings

from everywhere I go, whether it's New Zealand or international.

So it's like a French magnet.

That can make a trip expensive

when you're doing the fridge magnet thing.

Yeah, totally.

And you're like, man, I've gone to like eight countries.

It's eight magnets.

$5 a magnet.

Oh my God, it's $40.

My husband collects Pokemon cards.

I don't care what anybody says.

It's bloody odd.

Bloody odd, is it?

It is a Jared's shaking his head.

When I was a kid, I wanted to collect cards,

but my parents wouldn't give me the money

and I didn't have the money.

Yep.

So when you're older and it was always something you wanted

when you were younger and you've got the money to do it,

I can see how...

It's a bit like when we were talking to Ed Sheeran,

how we went out and bought all the toys he never had.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, totally.

I can totally see it.

Now, like if you're an adult, like eight bucks

a couple of times a week on a pack of Pokemon cards,

it's something you can't afford when you're a kid,

but when you're an adult, you might be like,

well, this is my, this is my vice.

Better than smoking meth.

Also grow up though.

Yeah.

But you're right there.

It is better than smoking meth.

That's how I justify it.

That's Vaughan meth.

Is it better than meth?

Is it better than meth?

I'm yet to find anything that's worse.

Taylor Swift and Gorgeous.

Remember that song.

The next one coming up with Georgia at midday.

Remember that song and be the first call of through

this afternoon with Clinton Maddie.

Maddie filling in while Breeze away.

This afternoon to win those tickets.

You know, I'm a certified Swifty now

because I've been going through the Swifty school

of the producers.

That song rolls.

I hadn't heard that one, girlies.

I like that one.

I like that.

I really, really like that.

I'm officially a Swifty.

Yeah, you are.

You're right.

I can't believe it's happened.

Listen to a lot of Metallica over the weekend though.

Just balance it out.

Yeah, I do.

Now, speaking of the weekend,

I've been traveling around with the Seven Days Live Tour

so much fun off to Wellington after the show today.

Then to Inveracoral.

She's been flying so much.

She's a gold now.

I'm gold.

She's pretty.

She's a big deal, guys.

She's a big deal.

You know, I've been working hard for that too.

I've been really excited for months.

As the show's only forever, Jade,

I will say it's nice to be one with the people.

Yeah, yeah.

The last common man on the show.

I'm gold, baby.

All right, I'm going to leave you with my dust.

Yeah, it was nice having you, but good luck out there.

Can't wait to get my new bag tags.

Yeah, someone has to sit at the back of the plane.

Someone does.

Oh, the seats are just back there, I guess.

No point in them being empty.

I'm up here in 4A.

Well, I'm loving it.

I'm in 4A.

4A.

Yeah, man, I'm in 4A.

Did you get 4A?

Oh, that's exciting.

Just far back enough to keep your head to the ferns on

during the safety briefing.

Yeah, you got it.

Yes, yeah.

Row one, they tell you to take them out.

They don't care what we're doing at the back of the plane.

We're likely to not survive an impact anyway.

Yeah, see you later.

And you know what?

That's just what it's like being a working class.

Man of the people.

You are a man of the people.

Thank you both.

What I've been touring around and on tour with me

is like the creme de la creme of like great comedians

who have been at it a long time, right?

You've got Corby, you've got Dye and Paul,

you've got Ben Hurley, Josh Thompson, Justin Smith,

and little old Hayley.

Definitely the youngest and the newest.

Yeah.

But I thought, I kind of thought I was doing quite well.

I've hosted a TV show or two.

I've been, you know, I've acted in a sitcom.

God, she gets a gold.

Co-host this radio show.

Gold frequent flyer and you think you're bloody.

Oh, I just thought, I'm going to say, I thought it was hot shit.

You think?

Yeah, okay.

I thought it was hot shit.

I would say at least three times,

I've been hanging out with this gaggle of classic comedians

and not even I has been cast my way.

Like we'll be walking through a venue and people go, oh my god,

oh my god, we're going to the whole,

we went to one of the hotels in Christchurch.

And everyone was like, oh my god, oh my god, it's Josh Thompson.

And I was like, here we go.

And they were like, oh my god, looking around.

Oh my god, it's Jeremy.

Oh my god, it's Paul Hager.

Oh my god, it's Diane Wood.

Diane Wood.

Love, Justin Smith.

All right, here we go.

Headlining this moment.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing my way.

Literally nothing.

I was like, are you serious?

You don't even know who I am.

This is unreal.

And then yesterday, we all grew.

This is absolute unreal.

And then this is a bold take to voice this in New Zealand.

I know.

Yeah.

I'm shocked that people are unaware of who you are.

Of my importance and my weight in this industry.

Yeah.

Then yesterday we got off the plane and we had lots of stuff,

like we travelled with a bit of the crew and stuff.

And we're like, well, we might as well get a shuttle.

Yeah.

We were commandeered a vehicle.

You know, you need the shuttles.

We don't want to go with the plebs.

We wanted a shuttle to ourselves.

Yeah, sort of a closed off shuttle for a gold lead.

Yeah.

For the Hollywoods.

Yeah, the gold lead.

That's right.

And so we were trying to go, oh, how do you do it?

You know, do you just go and say,

can we have a shuttle just for us?

And so me and Josh Thompson went, oh, we'll go sort it out.

And we went outside.

And then we went outside and we were like, excuse me.

We're hoping that we might be able to get a shuttle

for five of us with quite a bit of gear.

And he goes, oh my god, Josh Thompson.

You're Josh Thompson.

Huge fan.

And I was like, here we go.

All right.

Oh, fan of Josh.

Holy shit.

You must love me.

You know, here we go.

Oh, here we go.

Absolutely nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

This is good.

This is good.

Yeah.

So he's sort of got Josh.

I'll sort you out.

Hops on the blower.

Organizes us a shuttle to turn up with everything.

Other people turn up.

Oh my god, it's Jeremy Corbett.

Can't believe it.

And I was like, oh, wow.

Well, here we go.

And he says, you wouldn't take a picture, would you?

Giving me the phone to take a picture of him

with Josh Thompson.

You're humbled.

You're being humbled.

Yeah.

And then Josh could see on my face that I was like, okay.

And then Josh did a classic gag, which was like,

oh, Mel Bracewell does a bit of stuff.

And the guy goes, oh yeah.

And then just walked off.

I've been so humbled.

Not only did he not know me, for me,

he didn't even care that I was Mel Bracewell either.

So I've been doubly insulted.

He's sexist then.

So we can put this down too.

Yeah, women aren't funny.

Women aren't funny.

Well, you guys, you've been humbled.

Brought back down to earth.

Can you feel it that I've come back to earth?

Because I went up.

I was gold elite.

I got gold status.

And then I've been brought back down.

It's nice.

I think it's good.

It's good for the ego to be humbled.

Yeah.

Also, a couple of times people were saying,

I love Fletch Vaughan Haley.

You're so lucky to work with Fletch Vaughan.

Great guys.

I was like, oh, I'm also bringing something.

It's because we're quite humble, I think.

Yeah, but I'm also on the third part.

And I don't like it when people say that.

Really, when they say that you guys are great.

Don't want to hear it.

Leave me alone.

I do want to hear it.

So, Nick, if you see me out in the wild.

She needs a lot.

Make a deal.

Haley needs a big, yeah, she needs some attention.

Justin, oh my God, it's Haley Sproul.

That'll just do my day.

That'll just absolutely do my day.

So, where are we headed next?

You're leaving.

Off to Wellington today, which is my hood.

Yeah.

So you're going to be around Wellington.

I'm going to be around Wellington.

I'll probably, I'm going to go up Cuba Street.

It's my favorite street.

Yeah.

So if you see Haley.

Just a little, oh my God.

What were you even wearing?

Maybe we need to get you a t-shirt.

I'm Haley Sproul.

What am I wearing?

What am I wearing?

No, give one of these t-shirts as seen on TV.

Yes.

Oh, that, but my show's got cancelled.

Yeah, scene's post tense.

Yes.

Humboldt again.

Humboldt again.

That's good stuff.

I just want to say thank you to everyone

who's texted and made a big deal out of it.

Don't do that.

Jesus Christ.

No, it's nice.

It's really nice.

Got my niece.

She's messaged.

One of my best friends.

She's messaged.

So I feel validated.

Yeah, great.

Okay.

Thanks guys.

Now we received, we were talking about a really funny moment

in which a friend of Fletcher's had taken a scantily clad photo

in your bathroom.

Well, by the way, we were all drinking in the lounge.

Why we were literally there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Producers and us.

We're all there having a few drinks.

And have you asked, has this picture achieved what it set out to achieve?

Has this been a sort of a real troll?

I've heard from a handful of people that have recognized my bathroom.

Yeah.

Well, it's a bespoke bathroom.

Oh my God.

It's got a revolving door.

Yeah.

I don't know what.

The whole house.

It's got a few people.

Yeah, a lot of people know what your bathroom looks like.

The best part about that picture of your bathroom is you can't tell

that the ASOP bottle is full of palm olive.

Oh my God.

It's quite orange.

Can you stop telling people I refilled my ASOP bottle?

You start refilling ASOP with palm olive.

And it's not palm olive.

It's another cheaper soap that's not green.

Well, it's quite orange.

It's tough.

What he does, he moolies up a dove bar.

He makes his own soap.

I make my own liquid soap.

He pours a whole lot of dove bars into a butter churner with some whale oil.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we were talking about this last week.

And we received a text about like funny, you know,

weird people had taken funny photos.

And someone texted and saying,

I know a girl whose Tinder photo is one she took of herself

at her own mother's funeral in the bathroom.

Capitals, her mother.

So, you know, very sad.

Your mother died.

I can't imagine anything worse.

Yeah, but you're at your mother's funeral.

And you're looking at it.

You're really sad.

You go to the bathroom and you see a mirror like I've got.

And you're like.

It's basically a ring light.

And you're like, I'm looking great.

Yeah.

Do you take a photo?

I guess you do.

You're like, goodness gracious.

Grief.

We as well on there.

Some people do look harder to funeral.

Myself included.

It's, you know why it's black.

You and a blazer as well.

A nice blazer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Black is slim.

Fresh shaved head.

Bed trim.

Yeah.

Riddled with grief.

You riddle the shadows in the face.

Skinny black tie.

Yeah.

Has it eaten?

You know, a couple of days.

Streets and grief.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Absolutely.

You catch me before I hit that wake bar though because I'm getting

I am getting past it and I'm eating so many club sandwiches.

I'm, I'm puffy.

I'm not going to be a little puffy.

I'm carrying a lot of white bread.

Yeah.

I'm carrying a lot of white bread.

I don't have to process my emotions.

I'm sloppy drunk and I'm eating egg sandwiches.

So we asked on Instagram, what is the dating profile photo

that gets a lot of attention?

Yeah.

Like maybe you've taken a strange place.

Listen to this.

I cannot believe this.

Okay.

Someone said it's not a picture, but I do have a prompt in my bio saying,

I bet I can guess your mum's name and it goes hard.

Oh, excuse me.

Up the last.

Wait, did they steal that from you?

Yeah.

Jay Hickey.

Okay.

Jickey.

Jickey is the, uh, Jickey is, this might be Jim Hickey.

This might be ex-weather presenter Jim Hickey.

Okay.

Who has maybe moved from being a hardline conservative Christian

into, you know, a middle-aged man looking for some, for some pun to do.

I don't think that's him.

I don't think that's different.

Jay Hickey then.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He said it's not a picture, but I bet I can guess your mum's name prompt goes hard.

And then of course it would start some back and forth.

And then you're in a convo.

Oh my God.

We're happy to be part of, um, creating connections here.

Hookups.

You listed ZM.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You listed ZM.

Yeah.

But we've got, but we do have to take our percentage cut.

Yeah.

We're going to need.

Nude pics.

No, we'll just say that.

Who said that?

And then like to the wedding.

I don't want pictures of the naked people together.

I don't mean that.

Just send them my through.

Carwin at ZMOnline.com.

Send them to her and that.

So my hands are clean.

What if she forwards them on?

No, no, no, no, she'll call me out on her computer.

So some other messages in.

Morgie says any pic with cleavage, the slightest bit of visibility.

There's a zoom in.

Guys will comment.

I like a bit of the cleave.

But a bit of the cleave.

I'm not a big cleave girl.

Maybe we could get into that a bit more.

Would that be like an opening line or something you'd bring up?

Nice cleave.

No, no, but it would get them.

Yeah, right.

It's not an opening line.

It's just you're just giving them a little.

Yeah.

Okay.

You get a bit more traffic when you've got a bit of cleave.

Yeah.

And then they'll message your match or.

It is distracting.

Maybe that time I had extreme cleavage on the show.

Yeah.

You said to all look away.

I had so many hall mirrors after that show.

I really had to.

Nothing I could do about it.

Repent.

Sally message saying a picture of her holding a fish.

See, I like the spin.

The spin because it's usually the dudes doing the hunting

and the fishing on the on the on the on the tinder.

But if I was a girl, I'd just be like,

this guy's going to come back home smelling like fish.

She's a girl who's going to smell like fish.

Yeah.

I don't want anyone smelling like fish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All of them.

You got that lovely palm olive in the bathroom.

They can wash off the fishy smell with.

It's actually Aesop.

It's not.

It's not.

It's not.

It's not.

It's hospital grave.

Yeah, dude.

It's orange.

So cheap.

I'm pretty sure that's outlawed in the EU.

It looks like Aesop.

European Union was like.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Hush.

Someone is SJ.

Right.

Me and a homemade Pringles can costume.

Low-hanging fruit for snack-based pickup lines.

Oh, yeah.

I love it like a snack on you.

Yeah, you look like a snack.

I'll pop you your cat lids.

Put your cat on the top.

Do you come inside for him and shine?

Yeah.

I'll put my hand in and get.

Nope.

Nope.

Probably wouldn't.

I'll put it right up to my mouth and get,

tap the end and get all the problems.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I do.

I'll put you right up to my mouth and tap the end.

I mean, it is low-hanging fruit.

There it is.

I love, Tabby says, Bikini pick, of course.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, right.

Of course, it's the togs.

It's the togs, baby.

Oh, yeah, of course.

Stephanie said, my sausage dog.

She's got a sausage dog.

No, is that a euphemism?

Euphemism?

No, no, no.

I think it's an actual sausage dog.

She follows it with the dog emoji.

I just say so long.

See, if that hadn't been Stephanie,

if that had been Steven saying my sausage dog,

I would wonder if there was a double meaning down there.

My sausage dog.

Shannon says, sausage, dog.

Yeah.

Hands down photos with pets in them.

Really?

If you want hands down your pants,

you've got to go hands down on pets.

That is Shannon's slogan apparently.

Well, if you don't have a dog or a cat,

just go and pretend to have some pose or something.

Just go to a dog park.

Yeah, yeah.

Find one off leash and get a quick snap.

Yeah.

So, a photo of me with people dressed up

as the Mandalorians at Armageddon.

Nerds.

They didn't get you.

No, they didn't get me.

Yeah, you were saying that.

He was under that helmet.

Wearing a bikini in the snow.

You got your hot and cold there.

You got a reel.

That would, I'd have, I'd have questions.

Yeah.

I can see why that one works for Kirstie,

who messaged in that that's her most popular Tinder pic.

I get some most interaction and comments.

But there you go, some tips, I guess, as well,

for the singles out there.

Fact of the day is next.

Do we have a week this week?

Honey Badger Week.

It's Honey Badger Week.

It's Honey Badger Week.

It's Honey Badger Week today.

Play Zerims, Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.

This week's Fact of the Day theme is the humble,

unstoppable, fearless, beautiful, really cute,

extra cheeky Honey Badger.

Are you going to play the original Honey Badger video?

That guy?

Yeah.

That's a Honey Badger don't give a shit.

The Honey Badger's like just doing all that wild stuff.

Here he is eating a snake.

So good.

I mean, people have got to have something to do

on their own time and I would encourage you to see.

Yeah, it's great.

All sorts of amazing Honey Badger content.

Aren't they super violent?

No, they're just not scared of anything.

Wasn't that the thing that the Honey Badger was like a wild?

Yeah, wild, unstoppable.

The big thing is they are, they are commonly,

this isn't even, this is a sub fact.

Oh my God.

We'll say them as a whole week of this.

The most fearless creature on earth.

They do not know retreat.

Is that the Fact of the Day?

No, no, no.

This is a sub fact.

They are generally considered by zoologists and animal experts

as a fearless creature.

They don't exert, they don't show fear like other animals.

They're so cute.

Damned cute.

I don't like it.

For those who don't.

They're like a South African Tasmanian devil

and you know I've got love for the Tasmanian devil.

It's my favorite animal.

Quite sloth-like.

So they're around eight.

Yeah, they are.

They do look a bit sloth.

With those claws.

Like a fast sloth.

A fast sloth.

Not as a less slothful sloth.

Well, today's fact that I'm going to ease you in

was why it's called the Honey Badger.

Please do.

It is the Honey Badger.

It's Latin name, it's scientific name is Malavora capensis

which translates to Honey Eater of the Cape.

Now the Cape they're talking about is South Africa.

Because that was where they were first identified.

They also know in South Africa as a rattle

which is a Dutch word they think.

Because it makes a rattle-y sound.

Is that it?

Yep.

And it also rattles as a Dutch word for honeycomb.

Right.

Double R-A-A-T is a Dutch word for honeycomb.

Because they love honey more than anything else.

Honey badgers.

Have a big old sweet tooth.

Well they're like what do you have to poo?

That's why they're called Honey Badgers.

Because they get into beehives

and they just like gorge themselves.

It's like immune to bee venom.

Really?

Immune to bee venom.

They just eat the bees too.

Like they wouldn't mind.

They'll eat the bees.

If they've got honey on them, they'll eat it.

They just get in here and they just

um-num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num.

Does that spike their blood sugar levels?

Well they'll have crashed in the afternoon.

They don't give a toot.

They're a Honey Badger.

Honey Badger don't give a toot.

And they're out there and they just get in there

and they'll eat anything.

They're omnivorous.

So they'll eat, you know, honey.

Basically that's honey and meat for them.

Which sounds like a hell of a diet.

What a great diet.

What about um-

Honey and meat?

What about honey soy chicken wangs?

They'd love them.

Oh my god.

They would absolutely love them.

And they would go to no end.

Honey, what about like a honey glazed fried chicken?

You know like crispy, like a little lobster.

Yeah, yeah.

So they are all over Africa.

Also, I didn't know India and the Middle East as well.

The Honey Badger.

Okay.

They're all around there.

But they never made their way to Korea.

Because if they had, they'd be in big trouble.

Because you know the Koreans love fried chicken.

Yeah, they do.

Sweet fried chicken.

They'd be in real trouble.

So.

They've got the honey glaze.

So cute.

So cute.

So wild.

And like their little hairlines.

Yeah.

I guess they've got like a little real straight hairline.

Straight fringe with the white.

Did we talk about last week the video about Stoffel?

Stoffel the Honey Badger?

No.

Okay.

That's everybody's homework.

Stoffel, we should have sold us some fact of the day week.

Long sponsorship to Honey Badger Saloon in Wellington.

I thought you were going to play the same song.

Hey, there's their Honey Badger Saloon in Wellington.

Yeah, there is.

It's a saloon?

It's a saloon, yeah.

That gives me a real like, this is a crazy place.

This gives me like,

shit goes down at the Honey Badger Saloon.

Cool.

Yeah.

Yeah, what happens?

What's on there?

Is there specialty cocktails?

Haley's after Wellington.

We could send her on a reconnaissance.

I'm happy to go.

Yeah, Fetherson Street.

So get in there.

I love Fetherson Street.

Please.

Please get a photo.

Oh my God, look at the photo.

Yeah, you look at this.

Yeah, good stuff.

Look at that.

Oh, now we all need to get a wedding tour.

That's a good pass.

Oh, get on my flight.

One o'clock.

Yeah.

All right, we're going down.

And she'll be sitting at the front.

She's gold now.

I'm 4A.

It doesn't matter.

We're down the back.

I'll be down the back.

Jade.

I'll be down the back.

I'll be down the back.

23B.

Like the little Honey Badger I am.

So today's fact of the day is the Honey Badger.

It's its Latin name.

Translates to Honey Eater of the Cape.

Because it loves nothing more than getting into a beehive

and just gobbling up all their honey.

Fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day.

People are learning.

I love hearing that.

I love hearing when people learn from fact of the day.

I've just realized that my entire life,

I thought a beehiver and a badger were the same thing,

but I thought everything was a beehiver.

When you were calling them Honey Badgers,

I imagined you were calling them Honey Beehivers,

which for some reason I was not okay with.

But I'm now very okay with the Honey Badger.

We're learning.

Welcome aboard.

I'm just trying to find out exactly how much rain

fell at the Burning Man Festival.

But all of these sites, what do I mean?

I've searched inches, millimeters.

It's bad when it rains in the desert, I reckon.

Yeah, I reckon it's probably not ideal

because it's sort of an environment where the environment

doesn't know what to do with that much water all at once.

So Flash Flood's basically washed out Burning Man.

Everyone knows what Burning Man is.

It's just a big festival in the middle of the desert.

So part of the end of Burning Man

is that they burn all these structures that have set up.

They burn the man.

Yeah.

And they've had to delay all the burning.

So the Burning Man has not been burnt.

There's another whole temple that gets burned.

I can't help but say on the environmentally that

feels like it doesn't align with the hippies that are there.

But all of it can't get burnt.

So Burning Man is not burning.

Well, people are trying to evacuate.

They can't get out.

Can't get out.

Like the clips on TikTok and Instagram are insane.

I know.

Screw that.

Sorry.

I would hate to be there.

Because usually it's so dry and arid in this desert

that everyone has to wear goggles and sort of balaclavas

because if the wind gets up, the sand will just strip you.

You know what it's like in the sand in your mouth and your eyes?

It's horrible.

So this is not at all in the warehouse of what they're usually dealing with.

And I just read if you're in a four-wheel-drive vehicle,

you may be able to get out but something's getting stuck.

But if you're not in a four-wheel-drive vehicle,

it wouldn't be advised that you try to leave.

Who's driving into the desert in a non-four-wheel-drive vehicle?

And then I'm knocking and there's like these two-wheel-drive camper vans

and like, you know, electric cars.

Normally it's so dry that people can't just drive it.

Of course, yeah.

Well, the traffic in looks awful.

Yeah.

Oh, it's your worst nightmare.

Like it just turned to mud.

It went from sand to mud in no time at all.

What about their owners there?

And we can't get ahold of her.

Steve from the office.

It's like his third burning man she's been to.

Yeah.

I've got a lot of questions when she comes back.

I know.

Like why?

Why are you there?

I would love to go.

I've always thought it'd be an incredible like experience to see once.

I just feel like it's too big.

They built a whole city.

You got to get your bikes in and food and all that.

I'm more of a big day out girl, you know,

get on a bus back to Auckland City and then I'm fine.

And then you're fine.

Yeah.

Well, that's long gone.

Unfortunately for you, the big day out.

I know.

I've abandoned the festival before.

You have because I thought of you when this happened.

Not that it was a torrential rain that caused this, was it?

No, it was just torrential dish bags and a campground at Rhythm and Vines.

And we did one night and someone got in their car and drove over a tent

and there was a guy stuck in the tent and he was fine.

But it was under the car and they were screaming.

And then there was like poos everywhere.

And I was just like, not for me.

This was back in the day.

It was a lot looser back in the day.

Yeah, yeah.

And then this was the one where they were like, actually, you know what,

if you can't all behave, we're going to not have this festival anymore.

Festivals have tied themselves up a bit.

Well, they kind of had to, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like restrictions on booze and the campgrounds and stuff now.

Yeah, and they've got those drug testing stations,

so no one's going to be bloody.

And I was exiting my party era.

Like there was times in the early 20s that I probably would have got stuck in.

Yeah.

But no, I think I was on the exit there.

I prefer a calm New Year's with some chums.

Sitting around.

Nice steak in the barbecue.

Yavi Airbnb.

Oh, well, we've got to have something that was meat and not a flash cook.

It's going to be a lower and a slower process.

Oh, of course.

Yeah, of course.

Of course.

We wanted to ask this morning, when was the bestie not the bestie?

When did it all go wrong at a festival?

Because the rain ruined things.

The mud.

So many, you see all the time in festivals in New Zealand,

you see crushed tints.

And we're like, people are sleeping in these things.

Overseas as well, like Glastonbury.

I think this year it wasn't muddy, but most years it's like a foot of mud.

And you're like, I don't see, I don't see the point of that.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

When was the bestie not the bestie?

Yeah, it doesn't mean you had to have been rained out to something that went wrong

while you were camping at a festival or an event.

Yeah.

We'd love to hear your stories.

I'd love to hear if wildlife were involved.

Like just in my mind, imagine, you know, a North American Canadian festival

where a bear was just like, keep it down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That'd be good stuff.

A bear.

This bestie was not the bestie because there was a pestie.

There was a pestie bear.

Yeah, or you're a festival in Australia and there's snakes.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, maybe you got bitten by a snake in the mosh pit and you're like, oh well.

I don't think there are snakes in a mosh pit.

Yeah, the snakes get in there.

Primarily in the snake pit part of the middle of the mosh pit.

Give us a call.

I'll 800 dials that Amazon number.

Text through 9 6 9 6.

When was the bestie?

Not the bestie.

Talking about the time when your festival experience wasn't great, when it maybe took

a turn for the worst.

When it was sour.

I think someone has died as well at Burning Man, like the Flash floods.

One person, yeah.

People stranded, a lot of mud.

I think it's all just been kind of called off now.

I don't think they know whether the person who died is because of the floods.

I think someone dies at Burning Man every year.

It's the mongo.

Burn, the thing.

No no no no no no.

They ran into it when I was on fire and I think after that they put up the...

So, we want to know this morning.

Ah.

Once it's got a mood.

We've got a computer issue here.

Here we go.

Let's go to Phil.

Phil, good morning.

Good morning, how are you guys?

When was the bestie, not the bestie?

So, it wasn't quite a festival.

It was New Year's in Wanaka and I'm thinking it was mid-2000s, 2005-2000.

Okay.

Albert Towns camping ground was the place to go.

So, we pulled up and we're like, oh, it's really busy.

Let's just walk in and we'll see where we can pitch the tent.

We're like, yep, sweet.

We parked outside the venue.

We start walking in and there's a lot of commotion going on,

but it's just music, noise, whatever.

We get in.

We start heading towards where we can see a small fire going.

We're like, okay, this is not quite right,

but we just keep going to where all the noise is coming from.

As we get closer, the police vehicle starts reversing out of this area as fast as

it possibly can and all its panels have been kicked in.

All the windows have been smashed.

As you can hear, this chant starting up after police, after police.

Oh no, in Albert Town, goodness me, in Albert Town.

We decided to carry on walking towards the commotion.

We get there and where this fire had started,

these people would obviously got up in arms,

flip this car over and let it on fire.

Oh my gosh.

The tires are exploding.

It's going nuts.

Wow.

Yeah, I'm like, thank God we parked outside of here

because we are not staying here.

Yeah, I'm just trying to have a nice New Year's with my friends.

Incredible, Phil.

Thank you, Athena.

When was Festi not the bestie?

A few years ago now, mid-2000s, me and my sister and brother-in-law all went to Rhythm and Vine.

We turned up to, I can't remember what the campsite was called, but it was a few days before New Year's

and me and my brother-in-law decided that we'd go watch some live gigs on and we got a hot dog

just to steal us for the next few hours and woke up late at night, not feeling so good

and we both ended up catching food poisoning.

Oh, screw it.

Having a roof.

Having a trotty-botty at a campground.

Anybody's idea of a fun time.

A trotty-botty at a festival.

You knew.

You knew.

I'd just go home.

Yeah, just be straight home.

Call the chopper.

Athena, thanks.

You got it.

I don't know if they evacuated.

Call the chopper.

I'm shitting myself.

I'll pay for it at home.

Keep your texts coming in 9-6-9-6.

You call us at 1-800-Tiles-ZM.

We'll get to more of those next.

We've asked when the festy wasn't the besty.

Burning Man is turning to absolute sludgy cucker over there because it's had a big rainfall in the desert.

Yeah, do you know what?

Flash flooding.

Do you know what I'm really surprised about?

We haven't had a single text about the early, late 90s, early 2000s, vans warped to it.

Now, those were the ones where picket fences got set on fire, cars got flipped,

and Fonga Matar was like, you are not coming back here for punks.

And then it happened somewhere else, and then Waihe Beach was like,

you can come here, but you've got to behave.

And everyone was like, promise.

And then it went there, and it was the worst one.

Yeah, and they were just like, no more vans warped to it.

Yeah, that was wild.

I remember those.

Some of the messages we're getting are absolutely insane.

Chandra, you had a bad festy experience.

Chandra?

Yes, yeah, I'm here.

Are you driving a tractor?

She's at Burning Man.

She's going to live on the spot report of Burning Man.

Sorry, now I'm driving.

Okay.

It's a terrible connection.

No, you're fine now.

It's fine now.

Just stop right there.

Tell us a story.

Sweet, sweet.

So I was at Olm Festival, New Year's Festival,

about to celebrate the year 2020.

And some year.

Yeah, such a great year.

And so because I'm a New Year's baby, yeah, you're lucky me.

We were setting up camp and stuff for the day of my birthday.

Now, my boyfriend was being a little bit weird that day.

And I was like, okay, I don't know what's going on with him.

But, you know.

Oh, he's going to propose.

He's going to propose.

Oh, maybe.

He's nervous.

He's nervous.

Got to the end of the day.

And I was like, joined him in the tent for some snuggles.

And I was like, okay, you know, like, now I get my happy birthday cuddle and stuff.

And, um, yeah, and a tent.

So remember that birthday.

And then he decides to tell me on my birthday that the reason he's been weird all day is

because he cheated on me a couple of days prior and possibly caught an FBI.

Oh, no.

Chandra, that sucks.

Needless to say, we broke up a few months later.

A few months later.

I know, I know.

Well, you know, let him do the course at Antibiotics.

Yeah, yeah.

See what we're like on the other side.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

But see, that's just as bad as having the runny poos or a flash flood, isn't it?

It's devastating.

Yeah.

Chandra, thank you for your call.

Some messages in.

In New Year's Eve campgrounds.

My friend and I were in our tent the night before New Year's.

Even some guys thought it would be funny to collapse the tent.

Guys are dickheads.

I want you all to stay away from them.

My friend was claustrophobic and started hyperventilating and panicked and tried to get out and she hit her head on the gas bottle.

Okay.

And it was so bad we had to go and spend the night in a hospital, which was something out of a horror movie because it was a small regional hospital.

Oh, yeah.

And made a cinder block walls in a hospital.

We were all very scared.

We had a message in from Bella on Instagram.

Got pushed over in a portal.

Six hours waiting in ED to see if I needed my nose stitched up.

They would have been guys.

They would have been guys.

I want you all to stay away from them.

They're bad news.

I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards.

Well, that means the show's backwards, isn't it?

We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.