ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 4th October 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Flesh One and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McAfay coffee with my Makers rewards.

Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

Oh, she's a chilly one this morning.

I know, and I wore a t-shirt and no jumper.

Let me bring up the temperatures.

Silly goose.

Mum was sending a photo of Mount Taranaki.

Oh, yeah?

Covered in a fresh dusting yesterday.

Oh, Kota, was it a clear day?

Yeah, she was.

Minus 3.6 is the coldest at the moment in Tupor.

Oh, wait.

Single figures for all of the country at the moment.

Kraschic currently 2.8 in tropical Dunedin right now.

What are we looking at in the White Cuts?

Four in Wellington.

One degree at the moment.

But it's going to be a beautiful day

for especially the North Island clear skies

for most people and lots of sun today.

Just a chilly start.

Nippy.

We'll give you the chance to win some cash again

with Cash Catch Up at 8 o'clock this morning.

It's our last week of Cash Catch Up.

We'll play at 8, midday and 4 o'clock.

So listen up for the activator then.

We've got the top six on the way.

Yeah, the New York Times wrote an article

about New Zealand children getting involved

in the eradication of possums.

You know, this is where schools do like possum fundraisers

and you pay the enter and then you go shooting possums

all weekend.

We'd go around our mates' farms and shoot them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, they're pissed.

I know, but I've never shot anything before.

Not even a possum.

What about a target?

Have you shot a target?

I've shot a claybird.

Oh, yeah, that's fine.

One step away.

Well, possums don't move like a claybird.

I was very good at it.

Yeah.

I couldn't.

They're so sweet.

They're not so sweet.

I know.

I know, but they're so soft.

Yeah, great.

Let's shoot them.

Have you seen them?

Have you seen them?

Have you seen them?

Have you seen them?

Have you seen them?

Aaron had to shoot one with like a paintball gun.

No.

Man, no.

Yeah, I know.

That's not right.

When he lived in a trailer on a paintball farm.

Was he playing, was the possum playing paintball?

The paintball, the possum was on the roof of his trailer

that he lived on this paintball farm.

So was this before or after clown school in France?

Well before.

Let's write a book.

Every time you tell an Aaron story, I'm just like,

we can squeeze that and we're the same age.

He was a librarian, a mechanic.

A butcher?

A butcher.

It's so strange.

That's amazing.

He's had a wildlife.

He has.

Oh, don't say it like it's over.

Oh my God.

Touch wood, everyone.

Touch wood, yeah.

It's still going.

I didn't mean it was over.

Yeah, God.

He's had a good run.

He's had a good run.

God, he's done some things.

Anyway.

We shall remember him.

Raise a glass to him.

Yeah, raise a glass.

The New York Times have written this article about how we're

feral.

Yeah, yeah.

And how should kids be involved in pest eradication?

I've surmised the top six other headlines.

The New York Times could write about stuff New Zealand kids

have been doing for generations.

Right.

I've got a subscription, too, for The New York Times.

It's fantastic.

Can you read the article?

Because I got that open paragraph.

That was kind of got this right here of it.

My question, did you read the article?

Did you say, wow, you're posh?

Subscribing to The New York Times.

Yeah, no, I had a special come up.

Because I was like, oh, yeah.

OK, that's something.

A dollar a month or whatever.

It's like you're on the pulse of the world.

Yeah, yeah.

Of New York specifically.

All right, the top six are coming up.

Next on the show, though.

There is a woman who has won a beauty pageant.

Not news.

But this beauty pageant is slightly different.

They're not allowed to use one thing that is very prominent

in most other pageants.

Bikinis.

No, they're still bikinis.

Still legs.

Still crowns, still flowers.

Just something else is missing.

There is a dental nurse.

Shout out and good morning to our dental nurses.

Shout out to the dental nurses.

Yeah, shout out.

Are they still a thing?

Yeah, schools and stuff.

Can they travel a bit more?

Because we had David Street in Morinsville.

David Street had a dental.

I thought you just go to the dentist now.

The school just sends you to the dentist.

I went to the dentist on Monday.

God, they're clean, man.

They're so clean.

That's what you go there for, aren't they?

That's what you want.

Gaps between my teeth where plaque once was.

I love it.

They scrape it off.

Dental nurses are still a thing.

That's the branch of dental study

that producer Jared's M is doing.

Oh, is she going to be a dental nurse?

Is she going to make the little buzzy fees for the cats?

Yes.

Does she have a good nose to look up?

What's underneath of her nose?

She's very pretty.

She's got a dainty nose.

There'll be a mask on it.

There'll be a mask on it.

It would be nowadays.

Yeah.

Whereas in the 80s and 90s,

it just breathed a lot of the earth.

Right out of that dental nurse's nose.

Straight after a durring.

Straight up the nursery.

Yeah, they smoked.

They smoked.

Yeah, she's studying oral health therapy.

So when she graduates, she's a hygienist,

but also hygienists are school dental nurses.

Can she do fillings and stuff?

Will she be able to do fillings on kids?

On kids, yeah.

Yeah, because it's just this.

It's just kids.

It's just kids.

So if you guys want to say you're under 18,

maybe some free fillings in the future.

Yeah, I look under 18.

Yeah.

Can I just apply?

Why did you hear how hard

the rapturous laughter?

Yeah, I did.

It was the face you made.

It was the face you made.

I'm just trying to keep it tight.

I'm just trying to keep it tight.

So this dental nurse,

she has won the world's first

ever make-up-free beauty pageant.

Oh, okay.

So this is part of Miss London 2023.

Had 24 contestants

who were all make-up-free

to the point they weren't even allowed

to wear.

They could have a moisturizer on.

So no brows done.

Oh, yeah.

But can't some of the moisturizers

don't they have a few tints and stuff?

Yeah.

So you could probably chase.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

More of a BB cream.

Mmm.

That's what you were thinking,

the BB creams.

I don't know.

I just know that some of them

aren't fully moisturized.

Shut up.

I got a BB cream.

Yeah.

BB cream rose.

It's just like a light cover.

Well, it's every brand.

Oh, it's not one brand.

Sweetie, there's not one brand.

That was the name of the brand.

There's not moisturizer and mascara.

There's all brands.

I thought BB baby was a brand.

But the baby was the brand.

Right.

I do apologize.

What does the BB stand for?

A BB moisturizer.

Oh, I can't remember.

Be a bottom.

Be a bottom brand.

Beautiful babes.

Beautiful babes, perfect.

Yeah.

So, yeah, basically,

that's all it is.

It's that they were hoping

it's part of Miss England,

which has been around for 95 years.

They're still the full,

get your Keeney out

and your heavy make-up

and spray tan and whatnot.

It's a part of that pageant,

but they're hoping this make-up-free arm of it

would empower women,

boost confidence

and promote a more realistic body image.

So, what do they all look like?

Do they look...

Beautiful women.

There's the winner here.

She's got a stunning glow on.

Yeah.

Wait, you said no lip gloss.

That looks like lip gloss.

Yeah, I know.

She, like, wet the lips.

She might have licked them.

Do you know what?

I feel like she's got a...

She's had a bit of...

I suspect she's had some tattoo

and done, you know,

like some eyebrows.

Okay.

Because those eyebrows...

Well, that's disqualification.

Sure.

Yeah, I know.

If you've got tattooed make-up.

Yeah.

That's right.

No, that's a full-body work around.

But look at them all.

They're stunners.

So, they're here, isn't done either.

Like it's just out

and not styled up or anything.

Beautiful women.

Mix bag, though.

I mean, she's wearing leather collots

and she's wearing hot pants.

I don't know what the dress code was.

It's a bit all over the show, isn't it?

Yeah, it's the first time.

I think they're working out

the kinks on it.

Right.

Okay.

You know, man,

I always rock a make-up for your face.

Yeah, and you could easily be

in that line-up.

He's good, isn't he?

See, see what I did there?

See what I did there?

You did it very well.

Because I'm such a natural beauty.

You are a natural beauty.

Every day we see this.

Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.

I cannot believe you've never

played The Sims.

It's a...

It's...

You have to.

It's so much fun.

Yeah, it's not that I was

interested in it.

I just never got round to it.

Yeah, poor.

Poor.

Yeah, well, that sucks.

I never played it through.

I restarted it all the time.

No, no, yeah.

No, I never played it to anyone's

line.

Just put in cheats

and so you had to eat some money

and then build a real cool house.

Real cool houses and cool lives

and make lots of affairs

and lesbian couples.

Yeah, yeah.

And then you'd be like,

oh, put the baby in the bin

and set the house on fire.

Yeah, exactly.

And then build a new house.

Yeah, yeah.

That was me.

It's wild.

So people are still playing it now.

It's kind of had a bit of a

emergence because they did it

for iPad and I played that

for a while, but it was a bit

lame.

And now people are going back

to the OJ.

Yeah.

Sims 4.

It's pretty good.

I'm going to play it.

Can you play it on PS

and consoles?

Or is it just PC?

I don't know.

Surely you can.

Surely you can.

Let me go.

PlayStation 5 seems a

waste of such gaming power.

Because do you still play

your tractor?

Do you still play your

tractor farm simulator?

Every now and then.

When the weather was bad

over winter.

Yeah.

You felt the need.

I'd power up the tractors

and get out there and harvest

some corn.

Yeah.

But then I found a cheat

where I could have heaps of

money.

So I just bought all the farms

around me and I just

monocultured.

I just corn.

Oh, right.

I bought all the

flashes equipment.

Yeah.

And then it kind of took

the fun out of the game.

Right.

Well, you can always

you can always buy

like modifications.

You can download them

from websites and

download them and import them

into the game.

And one thing that the

girlies are doing on

TikTok is giving their Sims

chronic illnesses.

So I followed a couple.

One's given the Sim.

You can download a

CAD or something like that

or something that you then

put in the game and it gives

them Crohn's disease.

Okay.

Why?

I don't know.

And it just gives them this

game is hard enough to balance

the right thing to make them

happy.

I know.

Intelligent to make them

social.

And now they've got Crohn's

as well.

And then another one I

followed, they given them IBS.

Right.

So they eat and then they're

like, oh no.

Hard and doog and fro.

And then they go to the

toilet all the time.

They should have a floor.

They should have a floor.

Because you haven't finished

building your house yet.

Yeah, exactly.

And then they're embarrassed.

Yeah.

And then they're embarrassed

and their whole life story

changes.

This is such a weird

thing to do.

Because you obviously

suffer from IBS.

I've got the IBS.

Would you make your...

I wouldn't wish it upon a Sim.

No.

So you wouldn't wish it upon a

Sim.

No.

We wouldn't want to make your

Sim life any harder than your

real life.

I'm bloating?

Can they go get a colonoscopy?

It's so bizarre that they're

doing this.

I wonder if you get polycystic

ovarian syndrome.

No, I'm sure.

I'm sure.

There's mods.

She just like keeps woo-hooing

and like, no baby.

She's like, what is it?

And then she goes to the bathroom

and she's got a muster.

She's like, oh my God.

Goodling her symptoms.

Goodling her symptoms.

18.5.6.

You can get that on

PS.

It's in the PlayStation store.

It's in the PlayStation store.

I'm going to go home and download

Sims 4

on my laptop.

I'm back.

You're back.

I'm back.

Well, Sims 4, one of them was free

and it was all the...

Yeah, yeah, so Sims 4's free.

Right, okay.

But it's all the add-ons that

of course you get in a minute.

They get you.

Yeah, yeah, one of you more.

I'll pay.

Play it.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Haley.

Fletchvorn and Haley.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

Silly little pole.

Do you like turbulence tummy?

We seem to have had a lot of

turbulence over this country.

How late?

The winds have been insane.

I was reading an article.

Apparently this is going to be

the new norm with the climate

change.

There'll be a lot more

turbulence in the skies.

So get used to it.

Yeah.

I thought it was little

I thought La Niña was coming as well, but then someone said to me the other day when

I was bitching and whinging that La Niña means a very active spring and in the north

island that could mean just rain and wind.

It is on the west coast, yeah quite a lot of wind, but windy and really changeable

days like really high temperatures one day and then the next day could be cold.

And that's a nice consistent summer.

Really windy means that there's a high pressure and a low pressure, right?

Yeah.

And you're kind of stuck between them and that's the wind, the wind is going for it.

So and then the east coast is going to be ridiculously hot.

Yeah.

We're all going to hell.

Well, and what, what was the news, 10 New Zealand's worth of ice shelf broke off and

tart.

I know.

It's solid ice.

You know, when you get those ice cubes in there really like blue and clear.

Those would be so good.

The outside melts a little bit and then you can see through.

They would be great.

We should get some for margues.

Oh no, but it'd be salty.

We could call them.

I love salt on a marg.

Oh yeah.

It is slowly melting.

And tart to margaritas.

And tart to margaritas.

And tart to margaritas.

And tart to margaritas.

And tart to margaritas.

Margaritacticus.

Yes.

Margaritacticus.

It would be worth helicoptering down to pick up some of this ice.

Chip, chip, chip.

I have to sell them in a premium.

Do you reckon I can get it in time for my birthday this weekend?

Didn't Martha Stewart wear it for doing this recent?

Who was the celebrity that was on an Alaskan cruise and they went past an iceberg and they

went sprape.

What?

And then they poured vodka and made their own drink.

Oh shoot.

Oh no, don't.

I forgot.

We're the worst.

We're the worst.

Sprape.

Humans, eh?

So good.

We're so bad.

So do you like turbulence, tummy?

I mean, this isn't a huge surprise, 75% of people said no, 25% said yes.

I love it.

Is that dropping feeling?

I like it when you're in a car and you go over a hump and you go, because you're in

a car.

Yeah, but when it's in a plane, you've got a long way to fall if it all goes badly.

Yeah.

But it doesn't always go, you know, like in New Zealand.

I like it on a roller coaster because it's meant to be there.

It's not just, it's not just happening.

So let's talk about it.

Hannah messaged in.

I love turbulence, full stop.

Yeah.

Hannah.

You're sick of it.

Kara says, I didn't know I had one until I almost died landing in Wellington.

Like a fair of them.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

So she does not like it.

Oh, I shouldn't know.

She had a turbulence tummy until she's landing in Wellington.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Wellington.

I think maybe coming from Wellington that I just am used to it.

I thought that was what all airport landings is supposed to be like.

Sarah, I was on a plane that tried to land a couple of times at a Wellington airport

two weeks ago and couldn't due to the Galforce winds.

I also had caught Crypto Spiridium from being in Queenstown.

She's one of these people we're hearing about on the news every day, catching Crypto Spiridium.

We're running out where that's coming from.

Sarah's bumhole apparently.

And now it's being spread person to person too.

So watch out.

Don't kiss anybody that's been in Queenstown in the last few weeks.

Kissing.

Kissing.

Hand stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wash your hands before and after hand stuff, mouth stuff, butt stuff, cancel the butt stuff.

I'd say put a hard pause on the butt stop.

Yeah.

P&B.

P&B and B.

P&B and B.

P&B and J.

Always wash though.

Just in general.

Just, yeah.

Just stay clear of anyone from Queenstown.

So she said it wasn't a fun time for anybody.

Turbulence is the perks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you were close to shitting yourself, I can absolutely get on board with Wyatt didn't

help.

Wyatt, do you lose a couple of K&Gs from this crypto sprition?

I've put the flat horn.

I don't know if you can stop though.

Wait up, Tore.

Blue canoe.

Blue canoe.

Blue canoe.

And then back to the hotel to drink all the water out of the tap.

Yeah.

A bit of P&B.

Crypto sprition.

Yeah.

Crypto sprition.

Yeah.

It feels like I'm talking about cryptocurrency, doesn't it now?

They've got crypto.

Yeah.

They jumped on it.

Sounds like a transformer.

Oh.

I'm crypto sprition.

Yeah.

Except for the mechanical noises, it's just shitting yourself.

Crypto sprition.

Mason said, I also clap every time the plane lands too.

Oh, no, don't be that too soon.

It's not Europe.

Yeah.

Europe and America, they big on that.

It's like, well done for doing your job.

Yeah.

No one claps me on the radio.

They're probably at home clapping now.

You reckon?

But you just can't hear them.

We'll pause for applause.

Thank you very much.

You know what?

Someone's got a birthday on Friday.

Oh, yes.

Would you like everybody to pause?

Well, it's Aaron's birthday Friday, mine's Sunday.

Yours is Sunday.

But if we're on the radio on Friday, yes, I'd like to pause for a pause.

Okay, pause for a pause.

Rather than a minute's silence, then I expect when I die and I want you both on to that.

Okay.

Yes.

Radio stations can't do that because the silence kicks off the emergency music track.

We can play the final post.

Which is normally something from the fray.

Play the last post.

Fray, yes.

Yeah.

In the shadows by Rasmus.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, In the shadows of my life.

That's all my gym plans.

So like after ten seconds of silence, the machine would check in.

The Rasmus comes in.

And the Rasmus.

The Rasmus comes in.

That's what Heli would have wanted.

Yeah, I thought the Rasmus.

This feels so appropriate for her.

She loved Rasmus.

She loved Rasmus.

She loved the Rasmus.

Shay says it's like a rollercoaster, how fun.

No, no, again, I'll reiterate, not when you're in the air.

So how many people said they didn't like,

25% said they liked it, 75% said they didn't.

But I'm imagining if you don't, you're just like,

I don't like it.

And then if you do, you want to tell people about it,

because Ingrid said, yes, the more should you.

Sounds like an alarm.

This is genuinely my gym playlist.

I'd say listen to this weekly.

Do you?

That's so good.

Let's take shoulders.

I had a video game where you could put your own music

into it, but it always started with this one.

So every time you started, it was just this song.

Very rarely, because you get out of the car

and then you get into another one of it.

This song would start again.

Yeah, right.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Anyway, carry on with our responses.

Ingrid said, yes, the more the better,

like a bonus theme park, right?

She's insane.

Yeah, that's how I feel.

It's like a free ride.

Yeah, I love it, I love it.

Georgia, I have a theory of falling, being dropped.

So turbulence is the worst.

You know, that's one of the fears we're born with,

being dropped.

Right.

Babies are only born with two fears.

One of them is being dropped on one of them's...

The dark?

Is it the dark?

No, they love sickies.

But you come out of the wind.

No, we don't come out of the fear of sickies.

We come out of the wind, but we're like,

oh, God, gagging for a durry.

Oh, shit, yeah, mum, yeah, you were right.

Those things aren't bloody good.

And Sherry says, I'm the worst flyer ever at turbulence

and I'll just throw up as I have done multiple times.

There's something funny about being on a plane

and being cool with turbulence,

but looking around and seeing grown men and women

who are just so terrified.

So the two innate fears that we're born with?

Yep.

The fear of falling, the fear of loud sounds.

Yeah.

And the fear of not hearing the Rasmus.

Like the Rasmus.

And the fear of not hearing Rasmus.

What if you would live your life without hearing Rasmus?

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey.

Play ZM's.

Right.

What are you shaking the desk for?

Making all my little mini memoirs dance.

There's a lot of mini memoirs on there.

Yeah, it's a little cardboard kind of Jackson Mamoys.

I certainly do.

It's really cute.

Yeah.

It is getting towards the end of the year

and this is where we get our end of the year lists.

Things that happened in February

that you totally forgot about.

Yeah.

And you're like, that's right.

That happened that year.

Oh, my favorite is, oh, my God, that's right.

They died.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My favorite is baby names.

Oh, the big baby names?

Big baby names of the year.

So this is.

Cluaca.

Cluaca.

Cluaca James.

She's the one hole that can do it all.

Well, Miriam Webster have released a list of words

that they have officially added to the dictionary.

Is this your Miriam Webster?

Miriam Webster, the Aussies.

America's most trusted dictionary.

I think it is.

Right.

Which is your Australian?

Oh, Macquarie.

Macquarie.

They're the ones that had bachelor's handbag last year.

Yes.

You remember that?

They always have a great list.

I like Oxford.

I like Oxford's English.

If I'm being honest.

I love the Oxford comma.

The Oxford comma.

How do you use it?

Go.

I don't know.

Just know the song.

You just know the song.

Just know the song.

Here's a list of their slang terms

that have been added to the Miriam dictionary

and what they mean.

Riz.

How embarrassing.

A slang noun for Romantic Peel or Charm.

It comes from Charisma.

Turn on the Riz.

Turn up your Riz.

Turn on your Charisma.

Turn up your W상.

Wham!

留你们.

Ar.

Now this one,

I was like,

what does it mean?

Because I've always

wanted how

to spell,

Jeuge.

What?

Or do you guy

do something like,

I've like llamada,

I'm falling to the floor

One simple technique this word for

i should show you.

And it's,

it's not untouched.

It's vaguely

called originative.

Right.

It's phonetic,

puja호오o Quad,

ield,

puja wooh

villie,

I remember my brother called me once late at night from Melbourne being like hails

How do you spell judge and I was like oh man?

We went on like a one-hour debate like is there an s?

Yeah, Google that like how do you spell I thought it was ZDSH you ZDSH you

Jojo

Forget the last you forget the last you ZH U ZH. So almost you put an S in it. It's a Z

ZH U ZH give that little judge. Okay

Dog oh, that's just now for dog isn't it? Yeah, dog. Oh, Padawan, which is great because that's a Star Wars term

So that's crossing over. Um, what is Padawan?

Padawan tie a medium Padawan

A young person, especially we're in regard as naive and experienced. Oh, that's not right young

But it shouldn't have Star Wars nerd stuff creeping into the dictionary. Yeah, you can just make up words

Somebody's taken stuff and it crosses over into the mainstream and then you get what in the dictionary bingo card

So that's a noun for a list of possible expected or likely scenarios

Usually the face of one's bingo card got bingo wings in there. No, no word on the bingo wings

Simp

It's a verb

It's an informal word to show excessive devotion to or longing for someone or something like he's a simp, right?

Okay, puppy dog. We used to call it whipped

Yeah, never there. Yeah, he's whipped. He's whipped. Yeah

But then you would simp you can simp for things that aren't people right? Yeah simp for

Musely bars

Goated comes from goat like greatest of all time. Yeah, it's considered to be the greatest of all time. So they've been goaded, right?

It means their admission to the greatest of all time

Basin is an adjective

African-American English slang extremely good. Excellent. Especially delicious or tasty. So that is Basin. Yep

Cromulent

Cromulent Cromulent is informal and humorous

Acceptable or satisfactory that's from the Simpsons

Mid is neither very good nor very bad. It's just yeah, ma something's mid

NGL the abbreviation for not gonna lie. That's not a spelling. That's not a word. No, it's an abbreviation

TFW are that feeling when use especially on social media and text messages to introduce a relatable scenario or an image that evokes a specific feeling

right and

TTYL talk to you later some of those seem a bit TTYL is like

Why are you looking up how to spell TTYL? It's literally TTYL

Mmm

You might also be looking up for a definition. Yeah, that's the American dictionary. That's Miriam Webster

That's Miriam Webster, they're the new words

Oxowell, you know what we'll see we'll see cuz that list will be out any day now. It's gonna be way more chevy

Zedem's Fletchvorn and Haley

From the panoramic Zedem sink tank. This is the top

Hello there the New York Times read an article about Kiwi kids killing invasive pests

Should get should children join the killing in New Zealand's war on invasive species a hunting contest is exposed tensions over which animals deserve protection

Who gets to define humanness and how children should be taught about conservation rich coming from America?

Yeah, dude, I mean you can literally as a kid go and buy a gun. Yeah

Yeah

Pick up trucks rolled up one by one fearing a stream of dead animal carcasses into the showgrounds pigs

Deer possums and even feral cats would all be weighed and showcased the biggest animals

The smaller ones laid out on rows that became heaps as the day went on. Yeah, you see your cats are the worst

The big Easter hunters well, isn't there in central Otago for all the rabbits rabbits

Yeah, cats just need a little bath and a shot and then

Talk about stray cats

Stray cams save a ball feral cats gone. Yeah gone. They're their own species now

I saw a feral cat up the mountain and Tadamaki once we're like

No

So are the whole articles about like

Pictures of kids running around with like dead pigs on their back and it's just having fun

I guess cuz we're like we've grown up with that. It's not weird

Normal to us. Yeah, but they are piss. It's not like we're hunting

Like urban dogs and cats. No, no, no, no, no, we're not hunting other people's pets. No, like an invasive species. Yeah

It's like dad. There's a possum in the pump shit. He said I'm busy get the shotgun out of the cupboard

Close to this

You just feel like sorry, mate

And then you're like dad, there's lots of holes in the water

There's holes in the pump shit roof. Yeah. Oh, we want the how'd you shoot it at the roof?

Oh, that's the possum was now you're bloody throw sticks at it until it comes out and then boom

Anyway, that's rural lifestyle. Well, if they didn't like that

I've got the top six other headlines the New York Times could write about our kids here in Altearoa doing things

They've always done number six on the list. The article is called a burning rage

Should Kiwi kids be left in charge of lighting bonfires on farms

Yes, God, I said love lighting a bonfire with all the junk mail I was meant to deliver. Yes. Oh my god

Because it all falls on its own breathe. You've got to have stacks sticks got to get rid of the evidence. Yeah

No, so Decker went under so she was such a brat. I went under because

For Decker was a new plumber the new plumber store. Yeah number five on the list of the top six other headlines the New York Times could

Write about our Kiwi kids doing what they've always done is an article called double drink

Should Kiwi kids left be left in charge of mixing their own raro when they're gonna put in an extra sachet

Let's make this thing pop these are energy drinks before energy drinks

But the energy lasts one hour

And comes with a crashing headache

Number four on the list of the top six other headlines the New York Times could write about our kids in New Zealand and

Doing things we've always done is a headline call an article called child labor

Should Kiwi kids be working at the appearance business for free all summer long

If you kids want to go to the beach at the weekend

Monday to Friday, this is a busy time of the year for us. We can't just be bloody taking time off

Number three on the list of the top six other headlines New York Times could write about our Kiwi kids doing things

I've always done is one called kitty construction. Is it safe for New Zealand children to be building non-certified houses and trees with stuff

They stole from Dad's shed

Yeah, higher up the better higher the better that was a roll sometimes you look at a train

You've like the only like why in the tree where we can put a platform's

12 and a half meters up

You climb up put a rope over it drop the rope down

I'll tie the pallet to it you hoisted up into the tree. That's how we're gonna roll

Number two on the list of the top six headlines the New York Times could write about kids doing things. They've always done here is

Shandy gate

Should Kiwi kids be having a half beer half lemonade lemonade refreshing beverage with their grandparents

Do that time that story went viral in America

Possip wouldn't the uni students are playing possum up the tree. Yeah, we got your drink

You can't come down to your finished drinking though falling out of the tree. Oh, no see even that's too silly for me

It's good fun. You had to whee from the tree if you want to yeah, good big splash even the girls. Yep. Yeah, everybody

everywhere, yeah

Someone's just walking underneath

Shows come from nowhere and number one on the list of the top six other headlines the New York Times could write about kids in New

Zealand doing what they've always done is an article called solo century

Should New Zealand children be left at home for just a little bit while mom pops in the shop or dad nips of the gym

Yeah, it's gonna happen. I'll be fine. Yeah, just don't play with the matches. All right. Yeah

That is today's top six

Fletch Vaughn and Haley. We just did this off here, but we'll do it again on ear

Hold on. Wait a minute because I needed to confirm. I haven't forgot any flavors on the count of three

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait that one's on the count of three

Your favorite flavor of aren't its shapes one two three

Peaches don't eat them

They're too dry and then they get all they're very dry they get between your teeth. Yeah

There's a box going around and purchase them. There's a box going around. I'll leave and go and get some cheese balls

Oh, yeah, sorry. You know, I forget they were dealing with a classy man. Yeah

I forget he can't be dabbling in our no, I'm a cheese balls. Oh nothing. Um snacks. Yeah. Yeah

So aren't its shapes in Australia did a online, you know, sort of a

Like what you call it your vote off and then like elimination elimination got down the grand final took them to chicken crimpy

very

polarizing flavor controversial flavor and

Barbecue because I want to say pizza wasn't even in the run pizza would have been the winner. Yeah

The end result was chicken crimpy is Australia's favorite flavor

Of aren't shapes and this is my favorite. I love chicken crimpy

I was once eating a bag of chicken crimpy and comedian Ben Hurley said to me

What are you doing you monster and I said this is the superior flavor and he didn't talk to me for a year

So a wise choice. I get it that it's not everyone's cup of tea cup of tea, but I love a chicky crimpy

It's so manufactured and

It's I love it because it's ultra processed and fake

It just tastes like the idea of a roast chicken

They've launched a crispy army

Chicken army shape. So is that tomatoy cheesy? How do they capture the and how do they capture the?

Do you know that was a palette?

Pleaser that is great crime when we went to Melbourne recently. I didn't have a chicken palm. I didn't have a chicken palm either

God, you've got to have a chicken palm in Aussie. I've actually never had a chicken palm and I go to Australia all the time

It's not weird that they're not a thing here the chicken parmie

So it's chicken crumb chicken. See it's chicken snitzel

with

Like a tomato paste and then cheese grilled and then fries and salad on and then massive

Massive they beat the breast. So it's like flat like a shitty. It's the size of a plate

But it's so weird because any parbo or restaurant you go to you can get one in Aussie, but here it's not the same

We're so close. Oh, it's so different. I just love chicken crumpy

Also, the funny thing about chicken crumpy is like all the flavors are flavors and then crumpy is just part of the chicken one

What flavor is crumpy?

It's the shape. Yeah, it's the shape of the shape. I know but you don't call it barbecue squares

And you don't call it hexagon pizza. Yeah

Yeah, I've had a problem with that too. Um on

The last time they did this in new zealand

Um, this was a post this was a post from 2018

Uh in november

Wow, so coming up five years ago on the arn't shape new zealand

Facebook page chicken crumpy also one new zealand's favorite flavor

I guess it's a lot of like kids eat them too. Oh my god bacon and cheese and bacon's pretty good. Oh, yeah

That's fake bacon the pink one. That's pretty good. It's because it's it's a

Um, it's a

It's a cheesel. Well, what was cheese and bacon flavored in rations rations. It's rations rations on a drier base

Rations tastes like velvet. I love rations. Have you ever tried? Um,

Chicken crumpy with cream cheese. Oh, yeah, but I can picture it. I can picture it in my mouth

That would make the less of the shape less doughy less wet

Yeah

What about a chicken crumpy into a kiwi onion?

Yeah, that could work don't sound like the chicken

I don't know chicken flavored chips. That's weird. Okay. Well, there you go. I'm gonna snack on something chicken flavored

Do you know what's really good chicken?

It's like wings get yourself a bachelor handbag. Yeah, it's all some wings. Yeah, I want to dry it up and sprinkle it on

Play zm's flesh for the nailie. Well, if you've got instagram, you definitely will have seen somebody walk the tangerero crossing

Absolutely dress once you get up the top beautiful walk, you know, give your makeup a little bit of a refresh

some um amen

Walking walking get the booty shots those booty shorts that lift up the booty. Yeah scrunched

Scrunch the wonder bra for the ass get those on get a good angle get some lighting and get a couple of photos to prove that you did it

Because if you're not doing it for the gram, what are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, exactly?

Well, it's a very very busy walk

The tangerero crossing you said last time you did it. Which was when what a minute a few years ago

Yeah, for like three or four years ago. Yeah. Well, it's one of new zealand's busiest day walks

It is new zealand's busiest day walk. It is it's frustrating because it's like a line of people

Especially at the start because the buses are dropping people off

And you're just behind people and there's parts of the track where you can't pass and there's some old

Speedy gonzales here

Tells me who ditches his friends and runs to the top of the manga and then waits for them

So the department of conversation had a conversation with the department of conservation. Yep

They conversed about con about conservation

um, they

Have set up a voluntary booking system

So it's voluntary. It's voluntary. You won't be penalized, but they'd really like to know if you're going

So they want they want to know numbers so that then they can charge us. Is that where they're going with us?

They said there were there's absolutely no plans in place to put a charge on the on the walk. It's purely just to

Sort of you can go on and you can see oh my god 500 people have already registered this day. Oh, yes

So you don't do it that day. Yeah, and so the idea is that you can turn up unannounced

But it'd be great if you just said when you plan on going so that other people who like old spitty gonzales here

Doesn't get stuck behind people and yeah

Intentions don't rise on what's supposed to be a beautiful calm. It is beautiful after walk. Yeah

So it's 19 kilometers. Yeah, it's it's nearly a half marathon. It's a long. It's a long day

mung at the popo valley to

Kete tahi on the alpine crossing. Yeah, and once you get to those lakes you think well, it's all downhill now

It's long. It's it's long and downhill from there

You walk up where you walk up because when I did it at school, which is going back a long time

Like there was still like ice caps and stuff. Yeah

You went up and then we went from there. We went up not a hoey now. You're not allowed to do that anymore

You're not allowed to go up. We scammed up that scoria. Oh, yeah, right to the top of that

Volcano that was

Work it up the top the view was insane and then you came down and went down the same path you came up

Yeah, but now do you go up and over the saddle and down to the other side and then get a ride back around

Yeah, just sort your own ride. You get a sheath to get shuttles. I can't remember this from a kid because I'm like

I remember doing a crossing

With the blue like lovely blue like I can't remember much about it

Well, it's fun. It was and then you'd go up. Yeah, so yeah, when did they say you're not allowed to go?

I'm not a hoe anymore. Oh, I can't remember as a while. Yeah a few years ago

insane

But yeah, it's kind of getting to I mean there's a fresh dump of snow on

Oropehu and the Tongarou

That plateau there's more coming. It's negative one there at the moment. I just like national park. I mean you're getting

End of october. That's when it gets every weekend is pretty much heaving. So you need to go

like midweek

In the morning when everyone's at work, you know tourists I guess but then there's a lot of tourists as well

Also the busiest area for call out

290 people a bit needed to be rescued in the last seven years

Oh, god just last week two walkers were rescued from the summit ridge by a land search and rescue team because they were attempting to walk

In winter conditions

They become trapped on a patch of ice. They had no crampons ice axes or even appropriate footwear for the conditions

Yeah, because it's it's when they're fine and sunny. They're all like doot doot in the snow and then the

Sun goes behind the clouds and the soft snow ice is over and comes a death slide

Yeah, the the guys that got rescued out of there. They were uh in jeans and sneakers and t-shirts

All right, well you can read to start if you're gonna do the tongaro crossing the summit

If you see if you feel a breeze go past you it's fletch

I know I want to do it in a few weeks, but yeah, we'll see how the weather goes

It's the grumpiest sounding breeze you've ever

Get out of the way. I'm just saying kick to the left

Uh yesterday Aaron was out

Visiting his parents and I was home alone

When I got a text from the courier driver saying hey, I'm here with your

Delivery and I thought it was my delivery to top up the prosecco

Shelf rack which had have been drained recently due to increased levels of stress in the household

Yeah, so I was like, oh, yeah, can you just pop it?

um

In the gate by the front door all good and he was like no, I can't I can't put it there

Can I leave it just outside of the gate and I was like on the berm

You know that berm at the front of my house sort of slows down. Yeah, I parked the chimney on the grass berm

It's raised a few you got a telling off. Got a telling off. What did you it's a light forward drive?

I'm not going to get stuck. No, but there's gravelly

Yeah, but I need to be out of the way. I need to be out of the way. You got a telling off from everywhere

I was just like

I got a telling off from india in august. Well, you can't park here. I got a telling off from hayley

Aaron just shrugged his shoulders and I shrugged my shoulders there. Wow

Anyway, won't you do that again? No, I won't

Anyway, so they said can we leave it there and I was like sure I was literally like, you know

Going home very shortly after this. Yeah, and then I got there and it wasn't my um wine that was on on the doorstep

Yeah, okay that courier knows

He just knows where I like it. Yeah. Yeah, he might as well let himself in and then stack it in the rack

So to speak. Yeah, anyway, it was um giant palette and on it was a mirror that I've ordered for my walk-in wardrobe

I'm excited for this and I've been waiting for it for ages

But I didn't realize I thought it was just going to come in the box of the mirror

And they would just deliver that

But instead they had it on a crate like a big like two big crates

And it was all taped up with like the

Kind of glad wrap like industrial glad wrap. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, and then I just got there and I was like, huh

Okay, no tradies at the house yesterday. No, Aaron at the house yesterday. Just just weird a while me

Uh, and I was heading off to go do the project last night. Did you catch me? Did you catch me on the night?

She don't watch tv. Oh weird

You and everybody else um anyway

I had to leave so I was like, I can't leave this mirror here

The weather looked like it was turning and da-da-da. So I was like, I have to try to get this in myself

And I started trying to lift this thing. How big is that heavy?

I think the mirror itself is only like 30 kgs, right? But the crate added to it

Well, it's for it's forklift heavy if it's on a crate. Yeah

They've used a forklift to pick it up at some stage

So I was like trying to do it and obviously I can't just like pull this thing around either

It's got a mirror on it. Yeah, so then I was like, oh, what do we have to do is like

Try to get the we've got one of those trolley dollies trolley dollies

I was like I would try to get that and try to flip it on to that

So went up the drive

I got the trolley dolly came back down the driveway and I was struggling it was too wide the crate

I couldn't get my hands on either side of it

Couldn't go that way I couldn't do it and then this man runs past on the street and I was like

Looked to him to be like maybe and maybe I could stop him

Yeah, but he's out on a jog

He literally clocked me with his eyes and then kept on running and I was like

Well, also like if I'm if I was running or if I was cycling or I might be timing on my watch

And this would be stopping my time. Yeah, I'm gonna ruin you. You're gonna ruin my splits

You're gonna ruin my timing

I don't like to offer my services to a woman

Because whatever the helping version of mansplaining is I don't want to be tagged with

Yeah, I'll totally help but I'm not going to somebody

I was sort of feeling the same. I really wanted to do it myself

So he didn't stop and I was like, all right on would we go

Keep struggling with this thing and then I was sort of like looking over at my neighbor's house

But they weren't home looked over towards my other neighbor across the road

Also a male. He wasn't home my other neighbor on the left. They're not home. So I was left on my own

Another couple walks by and it was like a guy their dog and a kid and I sort of looked over again

They walked past me and at this point I was like, I'm gonna start sort of audibly and that sort of really playing up the struggle and I

Yeah, just in my heart of hearts. I knew

I needed a man

I needed a man

You wanted this I know

So you wanted this I know

I literally just needed a big man

This is all started in 1893 when you wanted to vote, you know, I know and then we sort of got all independent

Yeah

You got about lippy. We got lippy. I'm technically unmarried without children as well. I'm 34 this weekend. I mean that spins the material

That spins

Anyway, so by the time the third guy came around I was I just given up on all feminism and I asked him to help me

And then he suggested well, why don't you just cut the

I was gonna say that before I was like, why didn't you just cut the mirror out of the

Yep, cut the plastic and get the box off. I love which was only 20

We reluctantly asked a man for his brute strength and he gave you his thoughts on something

I need a lift he's like, why don't you just cut it open and you're like

No, I've asked and you've given me the way I should have seen

I know so I did I went in and got a bloody blade and I cut the mirror out and I did that

I still had to trolley dolly the 30kg mirror because it was just really awkward size

Yeah, so I did that and then the crate I've just like

F you basically and just left it on the berm

And I run Aaron and said by the way, there's a crate on the berm your problem

So I'm not a feminist anymore. I need a man

And you've got a mirror and I've got a mirror for your giant by the way this walk-in wardrobe. It's the size of a flat

Oh

Oh my god, this story is wild

Oh my god, so there's a uh, uh, sort of an uber company called lift

We don't know where there's a big in america. It's as big as uber. Yeah, right l y f t lift

Uh, there was a customer called palash. He was taking his pet cat

Tux to the vet now. He lives in america

Probably looks like this is a good name for it. It is it is a good name

Um, he was taking his cat wait, is that um black and white and it's got like a little it looks like it's wearing a tuxedo

Is that why it's called tux? Yeah, he's got a little like white v. Okay. Good. You're cute. Um, now he took to

Twitter I refuse to call it x stupid

He talked to twitter to share his experience. He was tagging in lift

To his tweets. Mm-hmm my lift driver drove off with my pet cat still in the car

I was taking my cat to a vet appointment. I was sitting behind the driver and had the cat carry on the floor of the passenger side back seat

pulled up

Got out went to walk around to get tux out of the car

car takes off

I'm always worried that like if you're coming back from the airport that's gonna happen. So I always say I'll just get my bags out of the back

So I always say that always say when there was a yeah, and you're like well

I'm just saying yeah

so

The driver drives off this guy plash. He's like banging on the back of the boot going

Off they go

Then this lift app like the uber style app

Only lets you message the driver and call the driver three times

Your message is three times calls three times. No response from the driver. He can no longer make contact

The cat's in the car

So he cats in the car and the silver spoon

Little boy tux is gone too soon. Anyway

So then he contacts lift. Yeah, and you know what that's like. Oh 800. Oh my god. Yeah

If you've ever lost anything in an uber it is it's hard. Especially tech companies like that. Yeah work all on an app

No phone calls required

Yeah, getting through to a call soon as a nightmare. Yeah, and when they're like, how can I help you? You're like talk to human

Anyway, so he calls them and

He says they weren't helpful at all

um

It's cat. Where's the driver not realized he's a cat in this car two hours. Okay, like got like gone

Yeah, he spends two hours trying to get a hold of them finally lift comes back and they say oh my god

We're so sorry about this. Here's a $20 credit for your lost item

It's a cat. Oh wait. So this isn't like here's your cat back and $20 credit. It's like hey that cat that you love

No, we're putting its value at approximately $20 when he dollars

So he is trying all the different channels instagram all the social medias calling everything saying to

Left like you have to help me find this cat then apparently we how long

So this happened in late september

Mm-hmm on the second of october

Monday two days ago

The cat was an america. Yeah. Okay. Oh so two hours after the the car's gone

The driver finally made con makes contact through lift and says i don't have the cat

What was this like a really nice cat? Do you think like he bought him?

No, it just looks like a moggy like a little it looks like a rescue cat. Yeah, like a rescue cat

Just a normal cat. Yeah your public cat

Two hours later the driver says he doesn't doesn't can't find him this guy is absolutely distraught

He's like trying and trying and trying and trying all these avenues posters everything now

So that's like two weeks later. Yeah

He is there's reports of a cat that's been found at a real estate

Uh agents. Yeah place covered in fleas looking absolutely worse for wear and it's tux

And he's reunited. How do you flee so quick?

In two weeks, i think it fleas in the blue. Yeah, it's probably hanging out in the bad areas. I'm not sure

I'm actually not sure we this is. Oh, for some reason i assume new york. Well, probably

Taxi cam! You got my cat in it!

Isn't this horrendous? He's my cat now buddy. So what somebody took him?

Or the drive was only in the driver mode just opened the door and then like

Actually no explanation the driver. Yeah, i feel like someone in fleas

Why are you fixating on fleas? Well, if it didn't have fleas

It does it does matter. He was very tired. How do we get fleas that quick?

It's because he's out in the wild. You just rub it around on the cats and stuff.

Other cats and the fleas and this that quickly

That's not the most important part of the story. The fleas.

Taking with the fleas. They didn't have a collar, they didn't have a treatment. They can put a spot on

They can put a spot on the net and he's not been keeping up with the spot on the net.

Put a squirt on the back of the net. He'll be fine. Yeah, very tired covered in fleas dehydrated and then

You didn't fleas too. That'd be the worst the least of your worries if you were let loose in new york homeless

for a few weeks. Oh, yeah, I'd be a ninja turtle at the end of living in the sewer.

You would be in the sewer. I had a rat that was a master and I had several weapons at my disposal.

Well, this is an ongoing story because it's literally happened two days ago.

Yeah, well one day go if this is america, right?

With their time zone. So he's he's said on reddit. I want revenge

He's

Pallash is not happening. Pallash wants revenge. Yeah, this is how great movies start.

Like do you remember that? John Wick. Yeah, John Wick that time. They messed with his dog.

People took Liam Neeson's daughter. Yeah, yeah. And now they've taken tux the cat from Pallash.

Yeah, so Lyft has given him money to help with vet bills and whatnot and ongoing recovery for the cat.

Anyway, horrendous. Oh, there you'll be happy about that.

Terrible story. There'll be some flea treatment money in there.

Yeah, a bit of a squirt on the back of the net.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I want to know what you left in the back of an Uber or a taxi or a taxi or an

Ola or whatever. A blue bubble. A blue bubble. Do you want to hear Wellington combined? It can't be

Chunny. Oh no. Yeah, I left my hands in the back of my vanity. I left my dignity in the back of the

cat. I've done that for sure. The only thing I've left are keys in an Uber and it was impossible

to get them back. Like you try through the app and it's just like I've left my phone and then

they're like trying through the app and I'm like you've got my phone. Oh yeah. I don't have the app.

I don't have the app. Yeah. So what are we going to do? In the old days of like not being able to

trace your phone, I used to leave phones and cabs all the time and you'd ring up. You'd have no way

of knowing what cab you'd been in. Yeah, what time? It was like 3 a.m. on call in place. I was the girl

with the J&M's Chinese smorgasbord container. It was a Nokia. One of those ones you could change

the faceplate and put a photo of you like loved ones in it. That one. That one. It's got literally

a photo of me and my girlfriend in it. Well mate, because we talk about the things left in Ubers

before. Maybe you've done this. Maybe you've got a weird thing you left in an Uber or an embarrassing

thing. Was there a pet? Was there a pet? We want to know what you left behind in a taxi or an Uber.

We've just had a taxi driver message. I've had so many people ring up the depot and they're asked

to get in touch with me personally because they left their drugs in the back of the car.

Hey, I think I left a small bag with icing sugar in it. It was us. We were on the way home from

the party with the Ranfield Shield. I had a broken fist from punching it and breaking it in half.

Yeah, actually, you might. Don't worry about it, actually. We'll get to more of your texts and

calls. Next, keep them coming in. We're talking about what you've left in a lift, a taxi, an Uber,

a corporate cab, an economy city sales, the RSA courtesy van. Well into combined taxis.

Yeah, they'll get you home as long as you live within, you know, 10Ks. 4444. Yeah, easy PC.

Somebody said, my flatbed lift is rugby bag and a taxi boot after a game in a night out. Didn't

notice for a few days. Finally tracked it down and the taxi lady had taken the car to get

professionally cleaned as she couldn't work out where the stench was coming from.

Oh my God. Is it all that time she never popped the boot to check? Yeah. Yeah. Like you're always

putting people's stuff in your boot. You'd check that. I tell you what, we're hearing a lot of

people leaving their children or babies in taxis. Generally back in the day where you didn't have

to strap them into a car seat. You could just kind of hold it right. Yes. When I was a new mom,

I forgot my baby, got paid the driver, got out through the passenger side. As he pulled away,

I realized I don't have my child and I banged on the boot. It was back in the day of no cell

phone. So I was lucky. I realized when I did, I mean, he would have come back. Yeah.

There's so many mothers leaving newborn babies. Also once got off the bus and forgot my pram

and my baby just completely got off the bus. I don't know how my children made it to adulthood

with me as their mother, to be honest. Oh yeah, do you remember when the bus used to like hook

the prams onto the front of the bus? Yes. That's right. Because you couldn't take them on,

but you knew them when you got there. I left my driver's license in the back of a taxi after

a night out and Hamilton took me out just to get it replaced because, you know, you've got to have

a good hair day for the photo. Of course. And my mom, when I ended up having to admit to her,

I lost my license. She was convinced I'd done something driving that meant I'd lost my license,

not just lost my license. She thought I'd lost it and I was just too scared to tell them.

You're a little shy. I left my phone in an Uber, 2% charge.

R.I.P. That sometimes just unlocking the screen is enough to train the battery.

Tried to give it to the driver who was not interested. He then, then he rang a number of

my friend that popped up on it and he took it with him, picked it up from him at his work

next day and he'd fully charged it for me. What a legend. That's nice. That's good stuff.

How about this person here? I left my bra and body suit in an Uber. As I got out,

I went to grab my stuff and the Uber driver drove off and took my friend's chili bag,

also filled with alcohol. That's another one that people aren't getting out of Ubers. My husband

left a chili bin full of booze and his Ui Boom speaker in the boot. Oh, that's Ui Boom. Remember

I left that Ui Boom in the hotel on New Plymouth? Yeah. They were like, no idea what you're talking

about. He's like, bullshit. Bullshit. I bet your cleaner is cranking those beats down the hallway.

Cranking those beats. You're cranking those beats.

But it occurred to me the other day we don't have a crock pot at the moment. Now apparently our

crock pot cracked. You've always been a crock pot family. I'm a big crock pot guy. Yeah. But I will

also do, I've got these big beautiful cast iron pots and I'll get everything in there and I'll

leave it in the oven. I'll say to shout it's in the oven if you could turn it on when you get up.

But it just takes so much more power in the oven. Probably a lot more power to do in the oven. But

then I said, what happened to our crock pot? And she said the crock pot cracked. The crock

cracked. Now that's slow cookers because crock pots are brand, aren't they? It's a slow cooker.

Yeah. So I said, I'm going to get a new slow cooker. And she said, you're going to get a pressure

cooker. Got one of them. Oh, got an instant pot. Yeah. Whenever I do it, it burns on the bottom

and it's like, era. So I just like slopping things in a pot, walking away. You come home and it's

like an electric nana. It's got your house smell and all dinnery. And you walk in and you're like,

man, I'm looking forward to dinner. And then there's that constant reminder that you're

having dinner soon. Yeah. It's one of my favorite reminders. And so I looked around, I was like,

I don't need an expensive one. Kmart had a six and a half liter crock pot slow cooker for $57.

Now that's a bargain. I can't turn down. Oh, I might be there. Because what are you paying at

your normal stores? Like couple of honey for a bigger size like that. And I still don't have an

air fryer too. So don't come at me with, where's do you have an air fryer? I don't have an air

fryer because I'm an adult and I've got an oven. So yeah, I do want an air fryer that you may sign

through that bit of bravado that I put on there that I'm too cool for an air fryer. I do really

want an air fryer, but might have been told by my wife. There's absolutely no way to store it.

Yeah. Well, just buy a mine. We got an air fryer.

Oh, she doesn't like your bootless pantry. She doesn't like things on top of the cabinets

and the butler's pantry. Oh, no.

She's not telling you to get stuff off the bench. Yeah.

You should live on the bench. I'm not going to use it three times a day if I had one. Anyway,

I don't have an air fryer, but I do now have a $57 slow cooker. I had to go to a far away

Kmart to get it. Apparently, they've been so popular. There's none left. Oh, no. I'm literally

on the Kmart website. Closer Kmart. So I went to Kmart yesterday and classic Kmart.

The front couple had been like opened and looked there. Yeah. Someone was like,

oh, I'm thinking about buying one of these. I might destroy the packaging on another one

to have a look at what they look like and then take the perfectly nice box and leave the other one.

So that's what I did. I went right to the back of the, they were, they were stacked too high

and like four deep. I went right to the back and got the bottom one. The one right at the back at

the bottom. It was the eighth, if you accounted them from the front, one, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, eight. It was eight, no matter if you were going up, down, up, down or

right the weight of the row and then starting to get on the cigarette. So no one's touched that.

For the rest, slow cooker. Yeah. From humanity. Right. The box, perfect condition. Oh my God.

Not even a little, it didn't even look like the little safety flap had been pulled out and the

box had been pulled out. Oh yeah. I love that. The safety flap was so snugly tucked. It indicated

to me that that factory, that was factory. That was a factory tuck. Yeah. It's a factory tuck.

Yeah. It's the first and only time it's been tucked. Yeah. In the family. In the factory, yeah.

Tucked once. Not untucked. Boy, I was looking forward to getting that home and untucking it.

I bet you were. So anyway, I pay for it. I get it home. Did you join that long winded line

it came up? There was absolutely no one in the line. And I was playing with cash. Oh my God.

The lady, where can I pay with cash? And she's like, this machine accepts cash. I've been dealing a

lot of drugs. You've got to make your way in this economy. Yeah. When people have got cash,

I'm like, drugs? Yeah. That's the only reason you would have cash. Nah. Do you do drugs?

No. No drugs. Well, explain. Cause you're dancing around this. Someone paid me back

for something and they just gave me cash. Okay. They do drugs. They paid you back for the drugs

you gave them? Yeah. I was in a row of 20s and it had a hell of a time at the Hawkes Bay Rugby Union.

Party. So I needed to wipe because the money wouldn't go in the machine. Yeah. Plaster on it. Yeah.

The same plaster that they surround the broken ranfully shield. So yeah, I had to wipe the

so it would feed into the machine. Yeah. So I fed the cash in. I'm home and hose.

Bit of an awkward size to carry, but that's fine. Yeah, it's a six litre slow cooker. Yeah. I'm

be lining it for the park because they say pay for parking. I was like, I'm not paying for parking

in a mall. That's ridiculous. So I got back before they took it at me. Yeah. Yeah. Albany mall. Albany

Albany. Albany. What do you say Albany? Because my friend Albany. My friend Albany. Pay for parking

there. It's priority parking. It's outside where they have the restaurants. They wanted me to pay

for parking. Oh, what am I made of money? I can't pay with this. I'm paying the cheapest

slow cooker I could Google. So then I'd get it home. Very excited about it. My wife not as excited

about it. It doesn't hit the aesthetic apparently. It's just like ugly, trashy and but I don't care.

So I'm unboxing it. I pull it all out of the box. I sent you guys a photo. I found a sucked

chubba-chup stick. I'm guessing rasberry flavour because it was red. A sucked lollipop stick

in the bottom of my Kmart slow cooker. So gross. You fished for that box. I fished for it. The

factory talk. There was a factory talk. I had a factory talk. How did it get in? I don't know.

And I was like, where did this come from? Yes, the factory. Chinese factory workers allowed to

pass the time with a sucker. I don't know. I don't know the ethics of the Kmart factory. Where was

it made? Because a lot of the stuff's Indonesia as well. It wasn't New Zealand. It was definitely

a production country. That's a nice way of putting it. A production country. Sucked. A sucked

a sucked stick. I wonder could you put that into one of those? You know when you do a rat test

and you put your swarm into that solution, could you put the chubba-chup stick into that for say

half a day and then send that to ancestry.com and track down where this is from. It'd be funny

if it was one of your kids. They haven't been home. How did they get to Kmart?

Sort of around. How did they get to China without you knowing? They might be in China.

They could be. The one quarter Chinese. Yeah, they are. China might be recalling its people.

If I get home and my wife and children are gone, they're like everybody. Even like the

tiniest amount. Come home right now. We're calling our people back before we launch war on the world.

So what did you do? Did you bin it? What? The chubba-chup stick. Oh, you bin the

slow cooker. No, why I washed the slow cooker and it's kind of got a beautiful beach in it.

What? Yeah, I washed it. I would have taken that. No, I don't know if I would have.

No, because it was really weird. It was underneath the polystyrene.

It was like- It's got to be from the factory. The weird part was the box. As I said, the flap on

the front. Factory tuck. Factory tuck, yeah. The side bits. Factory sides and seals. Factory

sides, but of course someone could go in under there. However, it was at the back in the middle

where it would have to- I reckon a stock room person's been like,

and then shoved it in through the little slot in the flap. Yeah, I reckon.

I reckon it's from the factory. It's starting to fall in the factory.

Yeah, like they're about to put it in and it falls out and they're like, oh, wow. Who cares?

Yeah, there's thousands of these. Yeah. Oh, that's grim. I got the photo. I got the photo and like,

I'm not a lollipop guy. It's not like I was, you know, doing this for a gag. It's really,

it was really weird. Interesting. You didn't go straight to the Herald with this because they

love a story of it. Honestly, it wasn't polystyrene. It was that molded cardboard. Yes, it was

underneath the molded cardboard, which is no way against the sides. It's factory. There's no

way someone's done that in the store unless you've taken it out. But as you said, factory tuck.

Factory tuck. No, it's factory. Factory tuck. Chris Box. Yeah. Okay. Well, interesting. Yeah.

Raspberry.

No, don't zoom in on it. I don't like to see it. Raspberry. That's been in someone's mouth.

Not mine. I sniffed it. Are we doing my phone and topic idea?

What was your phone and topic idea? When did somebody, when did somebody already sucked on

your purchase? Oh, 800 dials at him. When did somebody already lift it?

ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Just an update as well, because we did speak

yesterday on the show. We put a poll up on Instagram because you bought a chair on TradeMe.

I did. I did. I did. And we were worried it wouldn't fit in the mass.

Beautiful drive out to the Hibiscus Coast. And it fit, didn't it? It did fit.

How much Hibiscus did you see? Not a lot. No, neither. I've always felt that. That name's

highly misleading. Do you know what was terrible is I had in my car a laundry hamper

because I was going to do laundry. A whole bunch of salvation. There was just a gym bag.

The car was already packed. You had a Salvation Army in the boot, did you say?

The whole army. The whole army. The whole band. They're just practicing their Christmas

carols for me as I drive. And I got to the place and it was a nice house, by the way.

Oh yeah, right. Nice house. And good people, nice house. Yeah, good people, nice house.

Turned up, picked it up, got it in nice. The footstool's quite large as well. So I was like,

here we go, put it in, wouldn't shut. But then a little bit of adjustment. So I got it in.

Just. So all the haters tell you why it's comfortable. And also it was built by a farmer

in England in the 60s. That's good stuff. Crazy, eh? I was like, what's the maker? He was like,

it's just a guy from the UK because this was a British guy. Yeah. And taking it so addictive,

isn't it? I love it. Now, as we head towards the end of the year, we've been talking about end of

the year lists. They start coming out, Oxford Dictionary and whatnot, Spotify, Playlist, Wrapped.

Hinge is doing a Wrapped. So you can see, reflect on your year's activity on the Hinge

dating app. This is again, my problem. It's only October. Do you want to? Is my question,

would you want to know the things that you've done? At least with Spotify, you're like, I get

that. I listen to that band or that artist a lot. Yeah. You know, those are my top songs.

These are my jams. Like, what's Hinge stats are they giving you? So what they will show you is,

how many people you've encountered on the app? How many you've said yes to?

I pause proceedings momentarily and ask which one hinges.

Hinge is, I don't know, girlies, do you know what makes Hinge different to Tinder?

It's like a bajillion questions. You've got to fill out.

Yeah. So there's like more prompts. There's like audio prompts, and it seems to be a bit more serious,

I think. So like people are going on there if they're actually wanting to date rather than a

little hookup moment. Have the guys infiltrated yet? I think it is for all. I know they were their

own app, but they just want to, they want to end in everywhere, don't they? If there's a possibility,

it's like they want to fish all the oceans. They've got their designated fishing. They're

Norway. They've got their designated fishing signs, but they'll go everywhere.

Because do the lesbians bumble? The lesbians scissor. No, that's not a real app.

No, there is. Is that right? Yeah, there was. It was. It's like all dating apps are misses the last

vowel. There's Waffa, Tamey, Pink, Lips. Waffa. I'm sure there is. I do apologize if I've spoken

out too. No, they can use Bumble. Okay. Lesbians. Good morning. You can use Bumble. Okay. No,

there is a dating app called Scissor. Yeah, there is. So the hinge wrapped all your likes,

matches, rejections over the year. Rejections. I don't even remember my rejections. Yep. The time

of the day you send the most messages, how many people you've chatted to in total,

and how long those conversations have lasted, your longest conversation of the year,

the emojis you use the most, and a bit of a word cloud, i.e., the words you use the most with

matches. Wow. Tats, you know. Nice tats. Or what you say to people. I want you to say to them,

and how to get the data. Open the hinge app on your phone.

Navigate to your account settings and select download my data. So accounts settings generally

looks like a cog or something. Download my data. Thank you. Thank you. I would have been so lost

about that. I'm telling my mom how to download a hinge stat. And then it can take up to 24 hours,

and then they'll send you a zip file, a link to it again. That sounds like you're about to be

hacked. Fronting stats. Nobody needs these. Yeah. Inside you'll see a file called matches.json.

This is what you will use to build your hinge wrapped. I don't want to know. It's just in the

moment a lot of the time. Yeah. Don't show me my rejections. Yeah.

Today's fact of the day. It's Sesame Street week here at Fact of the Day. And yesterday,

there was a good point raised by producers that I maybe dabbled a little too hard in Muppets.

The Muppets side of Sesame Street. Yep. But they're still part of Sesame Street, right? So the

Muppets were on Sesame Street, but they were also on the Muppets show now. A lot of Muppets did

10 years on both. Yeah, right. But there were some better known for their time on the Muppet

show, such as the Swedish chef, who we talked about yesterday. Yes. Your favorite. But Big Bird

was more Sesame. Correct. But made a rogue appearance on the Muppet show. But not like you

wouldn't say Big Boo. You'd say Big Boo was a Sesame Street. Grover, Sesame Street.

Elmo. Elmo, Sesame Street. So I'm pitching back. I will save my Swedish chef fact that I was going

to use today for a Muppet week sometime in the future. So you know I'm a huge Jim Henson fan.

Recently rewatched Labyrinth. Flawless. Beautiful. August has become obsessed with it.

Knows all the words to dance, magic, dance. The David Bowie classic for me. Beautiful song.

Hard to keep your eye off his package though, isn't it? Very tightly wrapped. Very. It's a factory

tuck. It's a factory tuck. Well, today's Fact of the Day is the first ever celebrity special

guest that they had on Sesame Street. The year was 1969. This man was 38 years old.

He is still alive, making him 92 years old. More close. He's got an amazing voice, arguably

like the best voice in history. Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra is dead. I have terrible news for you.

All blue eyes is dead. You did just say he's still alive. This guy's alive. He's 92 years old.

He's been the voice of two very famous film fathers. Morgan Freeman. No. The Darth Vader guy.

Yes. James Hill Jones. James Hill Jones. James Hill Jones at the age of 38. Approximately

nine years before he was even Darth Vader. Yeah. He was an actor. He'd done theater. He'd done film.

He was on Sesame Street's first ever special guest. Look, this means nothing for everybody at home.

But look, what a handsome, handsome black man this was. A beautiful black man. Beautiful.

Like timeless too. That's 1969. That could be today. Just a long sleeve black. Do you want to

hear him? What he did on the show? Sure. Now, not the strongest first ever celebrity special

appearance by somebody for Sesame Street, but James Hill Jones read the alphabet.

Yeah. C. At this speed. Oh, okay. D.

God, we could really run it along a little bit. There's a song. Yeah, there's a song now.

But like, and even his pacing, obviously his voice and his theatrical delivery, but it could

have totally, modern television would have run him through a lot quicker. But yeah, all he did was

he took one minute, 35 seconds to read the alphabet and that beautiful voice. That's a 20 second job.

Yeah. Well before it became Darth Vader. Well before it became Mufasa from Lion King.

Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the first ever special guest and there has been a myriad of

them since everybody who's anybody. Ricky Gervais has talked to Elmo, everybody that's everybody's

been on Sesame Street. But the first ever celebrity guest on Sesame Street was James Earl Jones.

Oh, fact of the day day, day, day, day.

Hello there and welcome to the great Kiwi kettle off.

Well, just an update read the great Kiwi kettle off. This is something that happened last week.

Spare the moment idea. Hailey, you purchased a kettle that claims claims claims claims. Yes,

I claimed it. And then we came in here and we proved it. We're going so fast. They blew the

power points. Yes. Our kettle's effectively rendered useless because of the power sockets and the

mine prevailed boiled. The question wasn't who's has the lowest quickest drain on the power

supply was who's can boil what are the cookers. How when what have we we've hired a box like a

multi a proper multi box thingy. We sure have. I have to go to a big fancy electronic place

today and be like, hi, I am a girl. I do not know what this is, but please give it to me.

Hey, I want to boil six jugs at once. It's called a lifeguard 16.

And I thought they drew for an upgrade. Yes, we've got the 16 now.

Okay. And so this means we can plug all the kettles in and definitively find out who's

kettle is faster. If mine wins, can we just put it to rest? You can let me have the fastest kettle

out of our company. And then we move on yet. Absolutely. But what we experienced last time

was faulty plugs that I believe cost me and my cambrook. Yeah, it was a cambrook. No,

no, you've got your anger. Sorry, I tried to posh up my suburb there. You really do.

Jared's on the camp. Briskos have jumped on board. They're going to give us some $500 vouchers. So

you just text kettle to 9696 followed by I believe followed by the name of who you think will win

Fletch Vaughn Haley, Shannon Cowan, Jared. Those are the contestants.

You'll go in the draw. So whoever's winning kettle wins will draw three Briskos $500 vouchers.

Nice. And then when are we going to do this tomorrow? Okay. Okay. I'm really excited for this.

We would like to talk about the lessons you learn the hard way because I stumbled across this on

TikTok. It was a girly sharing the lesson she learned the hard way. Why would you ever share this?

She said when I first got my period, I bled through so many pants because I thought that the tampon

sat between your labia like a hot dog in a bun. I can see like that. If you were never told and

you're like, that's what's going to stop it. I'd look at it and I'd be like, wow, Jesus. She

says, I literally have eight sisters. Why did they not tell me? Why did no one tell her? That's

so rough. So instead of plugging, it was just sitting bridging. It's insane that you would

have children and not explain this stuff to them. Why did you? Yes. Who's buying your

tampon? When I first got my period, my mum bought my sanitary items to tell me how to use them.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Like a hot dog sitting in a bun. Just let that image

sit with you, bled through a lot of pants until finally she was like, these don't bloody work.

Something's wrong with me. And then when my sister had these problems,

you put it in enough and she only said, what do you mean in? Oh my God. Between the buns.

We want to know the lessons you had to learn the hard way because maybe someone just didn't tell

you, you didn't know these things. Yeah. You've just been doing it wrong forever until one day

you learn the proper way and you're like, huh. These are the kind of things the mistakes people

make when they move out of home and they go flatting, like not putting the laundry detergent

in the middle. They put it in the top back and it's like, all the clothes are streaky white.

I would never clean out a lint. Try until the dryer catches on fire. Yeah. Yeah. Number one

calls the house fires. Yes, I know. Yeah. I take it very seriously. I don't use the dryer often,

but I always check that lint. Yeah. And were you still telling Shadowfif she's using the dryer?

Correct. I am. Yeah. Look at this beautiful day. Yeah. Because it's got dead day.

This is beautiful. You do have to juice your towels at the end of it. My dryer is hooked

onto the Wi-Fi faggot notification that the dryer is in use. It narks. It narks. Wow. I will say

I've actually borrowed a towel from Vaughn within the last couple of weeks and it was soft and fluffy.

So he is, he is finishing in the dryer. We're talking about the lessons you had to learn the

hard way because the woman is shared on TikTok that when she first started menstruating, she

didn't know how to use a tampon properly and she used it as she says, like a hot dog in a bun.

Just not, you know, a plug in the canal. Now we just got a message about belly buttons

and Vaughn, this is news to you even though I've been there for two kids. Yeah. Somebody said,

I learned that belly buttons weren't tied off like a balloon when my son was born four years ago. I'm

35. Well, I thought they tied a knot and then they clamp it. Yeah. And then you cut it on the other

end. Yeah. And then they leave some, the little bit on it until it shrivels up and it just falls

off on a side. I thought there was a knot. Do you remember? I had an ouchy belly button. I had to

get plastic surgery. Yeah, that's right. That's because they tied a knot and they didn't slide it

right back together. Yeah, they didn't slide it right back. Yeah, exactly. Jen's called, Jen, what

did you learn the hard way? I put dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher. Oh my God. That's really

bad. And it would foam up enough that it would pop the door open, wouldn't it? Oh my God, there

were so many bubbles. I didn't know what to do. How much did you just feel the whole, like, little

container? Pardon? Did you just feel the whole container? Where the tablet should go? And a

little bit more, yeah. Yeah, and a little bit of a squirt in. And a squirt in. Yeah, because you had

a pre-wrapped. Yeah, and everywhere, yeah, and oh my gosh, no one's to gave me. I mean, who,

I mean, dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher. I mean, it makes sense. You'd think it would work,

but no, it doesn't. Good Lord, we got some messages on the things you had to learn the hard

way, like the woman who was using a tampon wrong, like a hot dog in a bun. I've also just learned,

even though they've been there for twice, the belly buttons aren't tied off. There's just a clamp on

them these days. Yeah, and they use to tie them off, right? They naturally seal. No. Yeah, they

naturally seal. There's no time. It just squiggles on. I'm sure there was a knot. There might be a

knot to stop the guy coming out of there. How much gnaws did you had? I was a bit of gnaws between

friends. Sarah, what did you learn the hard way? Sarah. Oh, sorry, so me. Hello, Sarah. Hello,

Sarah. What did you learn the hard way? I didn't learn the hard way. I've been with my husband

for 16 years. And when we first started dating, he was relying in bed and he was looking through

my bedside cabinet and he found a sanitary liner for the really thin liners. Oh, yes. And he was

starting to tail us and he started rolling it up and he turned around to me and goes,

is this a roll it yourself tampon? Oh, a roll it. Oh, my God. It's like ziggies. It's like ziggies.

You can buy the tailors. They're a little bit more expensive. You can buy a roll and they save you

backs. Rollies for the jump. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, my God. That is so funny. Hey, guys, apparently

being the company's most successful podcast isn't enough. They want us to tell people to

tell more of their friends. So people are clearly liking it, but we have to tell them to tell others

to like it. Yeah. See, I would concentrate more on the shitter podcast that the company makes.

Yeah, same. You know, the real losers out there. Yeah, like, hang on, I know, we're just,

yeah, we won't, maybe we won't say no. Maybe we should even encourage people to listen to other

podcasts that the company makes. No, but only after ours. Yeah. No, don't do that. And not more than

now. Yes. Give us a sexy little review, though. ZM's Fletch Von and Haley.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.