ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 3rd October 2023

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The Fleshhorn and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Mac's reward.

Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletchhorn and Haley, two minutes past six.

Hawkes Bay. Hawkes Bay, you naughty, naughty Hawkes Bay.

You're a naughty.

Rugby team.

I know.

Breaking the Rand Furley Shield.

Absolutely deal the Rand Furley Shield.

They want a caretaker.

This would be someone with the shield who would be with it 24-7.

So, in the changing rooms.

I mean, I know there's a lot of history there, but it just seems ridiculous

that adults can't be trusted with a trophy.

Yeah.

Because it was Upsier got dropped on the floor and we were all like,

Oh, shit. We know rugby players.

We all know young jacked up alpha males.

Some help the back of the victory.

Who wins the Rand Furley Shield? Like, who, what kind of rugby is it?

It's regional.

Yeah, regional.

Yeah, so it's not.

The NPC plays right now. It's not super rugby.

Yeah, yeah.

And not every...

Somebody said I thought it was high schools. It's not.

No, they've got multiple ones around there.

There is one for high school all over New Zealand,

but there's also regional high school ones.

So, somebody also drove their car into a fence and got done drink driving.

It's quite a wild celebration by the sound of things,

but there were some lines in a photo spotted on the Rand Furley Shield.

And we're going to deal with this in the top six.

White powder.

White powder.

On all the news stories, it was like a unknown white powder.

Well, I've got the top six white powders that found it,

that could have been on the Rand Furley Shield.

Let's not rush judgment. They could have been anything.

They could have been just Ritalin for the ADHD sufferers.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't care how you take your Ritalin.

Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.

I mean, I'd probably take it in pill form just for...

I mean, really, that's how ADHD sufferers take it.

You shouldn't be railing with it.

I don't know if you're railing with it at that time of night.

You'll be up all night.

I've got the top six powders that could have been on the Rand Furley Shield soon.

Your chance to win some cash this morning again at 8 o'clock with our Cash Catcher.

Make sure you listen out for the activated just before the news at 8 o'clock.

Next on the show.

Christmas is coming.

We're all thinking about what we're eating for Christmas,

but one woman doesn't have to think about it.

She's prepared.

This is the mankiest story of the year.

It's manki to me.

Play.

But I don't know why.

I'm not against freezing food.

In fact, I think it's especially in a time like this

with the cost of living being so high.

Sometimes it's smart.

You see a bargain, you got to freeze it.

Yeah.

But there's a woman who prepares for Christmas lunch or dinner.

Yeah.

It's from Boxing Day.

Right.

She does this.

So here's her freezer so far.

It's all in like blue bags.

She's just come off the end of a Christmas.

What does she want to start thinking about the next Christmas for the next day?

So she doesn't have to think about the next Christmas on Christmas.

But she's got 364 other days to think about it.

I know.

So she doesn't do all of it on Boxing Day.

She does parts of it.

Right.

So what she does is she goes on Boxing Day and she gets a whole bunch of deals

on Christmas decorations, Christmas gifts for the next year,

Christmas food like Christmas mints, pies and all that kind of stuff.

And freezes them.

Which is all heavily discounted the next day and freezes them for a year.

And then throughout the year she does things.

So she peels potatoes and freezes them.

She has all of her veg ready and done by September.

So that on the day all she's doing is reheating Christmas food.

Yuck.

All the meatballs she has with Swensale sauce.

That's frozen.

Meatballs with Swensale sauce on Christmas.

Interesting.

I love Swensale meatballs.

You're saying that.

I've never had Swensale meatballs.

Oh, it was a Patsy classic.

It's not a.

A pasta.

It's not a Christmas.

Wait.

Swensale with meatballs with spaghetti and a traditional tomato sauce.

You've mixed three dishes there.

I know.

So a chicken.

Patsy would make a Swensale meatballs with normal spaghetti pasta.

Was it a Maggi packet thing?

No, no, no.

It wasn't because she's given me the recipe before.

Were they beef meatballs?

Beef meatballs.

Pineapple.

I mean, she was a very busy LJ Hocker real estate agent.

She was.

She was out there flipping houses.

Right, so if I put all my effort into preparing you a post school

chateau.

Chateau.

I wouldn't be bothered cooking a full meal.

Oh no, I also got a cooked dinner.

A full cooked dinner.

Oh no.

A half meal.

She's second to none.

So she's already done red cabbage.

Her apples appealed.

But the stuff she's freezing right after Christmas,

like on Boxing Day, that's not going to last.

No.

Even Christmas Mints pies are not going to last.

You look when you get a freezer,

it'll tell you how long things can be in the freezer.

Yeah.

Not a lot of things at 12 months.

No.

So apparently she was inspired by a Mary Berry who is one of the judges on

A Legendary.

The Great British Bake Off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A Legendary British.

Yeah, a legend.

She wrote a book in the 70s, it looks like, just from looking at it,

called Freezing for Christmas.

And it's all about getting prepared.

And so this woman who follows this book said that she reckons she spends

half of what normal people would spend on a Christmas.

She's got a big family, so she's like...

Yeah, right.

I don't have money to just spray around on Christmas Day.

She's got a YouTube and an Instagram if you want to follow her.

No.

Right, no.

No.

Good thanks.

I just want fresh food on any day of the year.

It's Christmas.

Yeah.

I want fresh, delicious food.

Why don't you forget to get something out on the 22nd,

and you get it on the 23rd, and it hasn't defrosted properly.

Oh, I know this towel when something's been reheated.

She makes mackerel pate and freezes it.

No, you don't defrost pate.

That's a no.

Fitch pate.

Sounds like a gross Christmas.

Yeah, I don't want to go to her Christmas.

11 past six, next on the show.

I will tell you, while big penises, why big...

I'm a little flustered.

Why big penises are overrated.

Okay.

Play Zodiacs, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Um, Albin, do you...

I knew you should have taken this story.

Let's go whip around the room.

How big is your penis?

How big is Aaron's penis?

Mine's very, like, averaged.

It's slightly on the smaller side of things.

I knew you should have taken this story.

You should have taken the lead on this story.

We left it to him and...

Does the job.

I am the side penis story, if I may.

I'm playing a game...

What?

I think you should tell people why we're discussing this.

No, I'm playing a game called Baldur's Gate 3.

No, I won't stay on it for too long.

It's a Dungeons & Dragons based game.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You get to decide.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's penis related.

It's penis related.

Wait, I'll bring you back with some penis.

There is a stat, what, that 76% of women...

Yeah.

...believe that large penises are overrated.

I was going to get you that.

How did we...

You can't serve them the main without giving them a little entree?

You've lost so many people now with Dungeons & Dragons.

You've got to build your character at the start.

Your penis is getting smaller with you talking about Dungeons & Dragons.

You've got to build your character at the start.

Right now, under the fact you need to pick what kind of genitals you can give them.

Really?

Because they can be anything.

They can be non-binary.

They can be anything.

Right.

A very diverse world.

Okay.

That world of D&D.

But can you choose the size of the penis?

Yes, you can.

So I was choosing my dragonborns...

He looks like a dragon.

Wouldn't all men just be like,

Mercer?

No, but there was a thing.

I was picking his penis and I was like,

well, you've got to think about aerodynamics.

Yeah, you do.

That's in a way.

It's a dragon.

If you're running...

It's fapping about.

It's fapping about because I don't know what undies are like in the world of D&D.

But I picked a small penis yesterday because the kids are away on holiday.

Too small.

I know you can undress the characters.

So I was just playing and I was like,

hey, check this out.

And I said to shout out and I was like,

this is my guy.

And she's like,

oh god, he's got a small penis, isn't he?

Because I undressed the other characters.

There's a couple of characters in there with massive wangs.

Right, okay.

And she's like,

and I say,

yeah, I gave him that penis.

She said,

just make me feel better.

Just make me feel better.

There's other people rocking around there.

Yeah, okay.

Also, interestingly enough,

men's penises have grown by a quarter in the past 30 years.

I know, I know.

I remember reading to me about this.

Because this stat was out of Australia, right?

Where they asked women, they were like,

what do you think?

Is it like one of the most important things?

And yeah, 76% of respondees said big penises are over-related.

Over-related?

Don't say related.

Especially big penises.

Big penises that you're related to.

Yeah.

They're over-rated as well.

Super over-rated.

Yeah, but she said they were over-rated.

I get it.

It's sometimes, there's a line.

Well, underneath the penises, there's a line, yeah.

There's a, you know.

Yeah.

There's a line.

They're not all of that.

Where it gets to a point, what do you mean a line?

Well, it gets to a point where it's just too...

It's not comfortable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

You know, you've got to...

And everybody's line's different.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

Tell you love's a big pen, it's the guys.

Which is weird, because...

Which is weird.

Tidicism.

No, that's what I'm saying.

It's a small rarity.

We're in trouble today.

I think it's 18 past six already in trouble.

Well, you are.

Tell me I'm wrong.

I'm still waiting on an answer from this guy.

Next on the show, the top six.

Yeah, the top six.

I mean, if we're getting in trouble already,

we're in real trouble next.

The top six powders that could have been on the Randfellyshell.

I mean, we're not as much trouble as the Hawkes Bay Rugby Union.

No, not at all.

Play it.

ZM's Fletchford and Ailey from the Panoramic ZM Think Tank.

This is the top six.

Hello.

Hello.

To everybody.

Except the person that broke the Randfellyshell.

How?

Oh, like yesterday on Sunday night when it was like,

Hawkes Bay, congratulations.

You've won the Randfellyshell.

And I think keep it for summer.

Because you've got to defend the Randfellyshell at home, right?

Yes.

No way games don't count.

No way games that count.

So they've got an away game against Bay of Plenty,

but it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter because it's not for the Randfellyshell,

which is good because they broke it.

Now, last on the news, they had the guy on that made it

because this is the original Randfellyshell,

like legendarily old.

And so this year they were like, actually,

let's get another one made.

Yeah.

That can go around because this one's kind of reached the status.

As Scotty Stevenson called it on the news last night,

Tohunga, like a treasure.

Yeah.

It's been around for so long.

And Scotty Stevenson was very emotional on the news last night

about it.

Oh, yes.

Oh, big rugby man, big, big fan of history.

Yeah.

So a guy made another one.

Now that old fellow was on the news last night

and he was really like, bloody kids.

He stopped himself just short of saying that.

And he's like, this wood, the grain that we use and everything

just would not break.

Like something astronomical has happened to that shield.

Really?

It's a pile.

Yeah.

Strong wood.

And he's like, the part was picked because it was strong.

So the photo that was of the shield in half

with the mysterious lines on it.

That was the one that went around second.

The first one that went around was just a guy with the shield

and someone was kind of laughing, which they found insulting.

The second photo that surfaced was a Snapchat

because it had the words across it.

But that was in one of our group chats on Sunday night.

Wasn't that sort of doing the rounds?

Yeah.

And it had some lines of white powder on it

and rolled up some of the summit.

And it was only a matter of time before that hit the news headlines

and boy, it didn't take long.

So what is that mysterious powder

that everyone just kept calling a mystery white powder?

Well, these are the top six powders

that could have been on the Rand Fuehler shield.

Number six, colour-free raro.

You need your electrolytes after a game?

Yeah, you do.

You do go ahead of fast carbohydrates.

Yeah.

That's the stuff.

And they might have just mixed the raro on the shield

and some fell out the side of the jug

and went around the bottom of the jug.

And that's all that's in the line.

Actually, that's probably it.

I reckon that's it.

It could also be number five on the list of the top six powders

that were on the Rand Fuehler shield.

Towel compowder.

Yes.

Helps with the post-game chafe.

Oh, yeah.

Have a shower.

Yeah.

Towel the bowls.

And then there could have been a bit of a towel.

Get some of the talc on the shield

and the powder settled in that line

around the base of the talcum bottle.

Yeah.

So I thought, is producer Jared still talc

in the bowls every morning?

Oh, yeah.

Because, you know, they didn't have

that multi-bedillion-dollar claim

against talcum powder.

No, cost of living hit 3R.

Yeah, bad.

Oh, nice.

You're just raw.

You're just raw as anything down there.

I'm just raw talking there.

I'm just raw.

Oh, my God, Cohen's upset that we said

that the bowls are raw.

Someone's got a birthday coming up.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't know if we've got a birthday coming up.

He's going to be 30.

Should we chip in for a talc?

Let's get him a matching talc body wash comp.

When you're a kid, did you have crossbones?

Yes.

Yes, I remember crossbones.

They're little kits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were for young men.

Yeah.

It was before Lynx.

It was before Lynx.

You get crossbones and it was talcum powder body wash

and like a...

Yeah.

Like an aftershave.

Yeah.

Maybe we could give them a Lynx body wash pack

and a talcum.

A talcum.

Oh, well, let's not spoil it.

Let's not spoil it.

Yeah, let's not spoil it.

Let's close your eyes.

It's not December yet.

Number four on the list of the top six white powders

that could have been on the Redfriarly Shield.

Chalk.

Yeah.

I said at the gym, people put it on their hands

for a little extra grip.

Yes.

They're going to lift things.

They said they were doing some lifting, bro.

Well, they could have just been lifting.

And then as they put their hands down,

two incredibly formed lines just happened to appear.

Cup your hand.

Look.

Line there, line there.

Yeah.

That's what it was.

That's what it was.

Yeah.

That could totally be it.

Number three on the list of the top six white powders

that could have been on the Redfriarly Shield.

It could have been corn flour.

Yeah.

It could have been trying to make some oobleck.

It could have been trying to make oobleck.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Do you know what, guys, when you just, like,

put your finger in it slowly, it's liquid.

But if you tap it, it's like a hard thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It's like a Newtonian liquid.

Because that's what I'd imagine a lot of rugby players

want to talk about after a big game.

Yeah, Newtonian liquids.

Newtonian liquids.

Yeah, 100%.

Yeah.

Number two on the list of the top six powders that could have been

on the Redfriarly Shield.

Milk powder.

Times are tough.

Milk's expensive.

Yeah.

Powdered milk.

Lasts for longer.

Yeah.

Can take it anywhere.

Yeah.

Can we have a powdered milk at uni?

Is there any way I can keep up?

Really?

Yeah, where's a powdered milk?

I don't know why.

You didn't do it too for Dairydale.

No, I didn't.

Okay, interesting.

Yeah.

Powder milk just reminds me of lambing season.

You'd have to mix up a big or carving season.

You'd have to mix up some powdered milk.

Big powdered milk.

Yeah.

And number one on the list of the top six powders

that could have been on the Redfriarly Shield.

I've never heard of this one,

but what is this one?

I don't know.

What is this white powder?

Yeah.

Cocane?

Cocane, yeah.

Cocane.

Cocane.

Cocane, yeah.

Cocane, yeah, yeah.

Cocane, West.

Cocane, yeah.

Yeah.

I've never heard of it.

Yeah.

No.

Never heard of it.

Sounds Mexican.

Oh.

Don't know if you can say that.

Just so, anyway.

The word sounds Mexican.

I'm going to go and do some more research on what this.

Yeah.

Cocane, and again,

And again, good luck to the Hawks Bay, is it Hawks Bay?

Hawks Bay, our comms team today.

Yeah.

That's probably just someone fresh out of uni who just wanted a job.

Oh, no.

And they're probably also in charge of their social media, their comms,

their PR, their advertising, and dealing with all the sponsors.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Man, good luck to you today.

Thanks. How about tacos and boil heights tonight?

The best tacos are in Southgate.

The best tacos, right?

Excuse me, I thought my tacos were the best tacos.

What's the school holidays at the moment?

Roads are quiet. I'm enjoying that.

I went to the mall yesterday.

Not enjoying that.

So take the good with the bad.

It's also the school holidays in Australia,

and this comes from New South Wales,

which is your Sydney region.

Yeah.

The health authorities in New South Wales have issued a warning

after the school holidays have led to a spike

in children's suffering burns from instant noodles.

I'm talking your meagerings.

I'm talking your two-minute, your maggies.

Is this because Mum and Dad aren't home?

Mum and Dad aren't home.

There's a babysitter, and you make your own noodles?

You've got to fend for yourself.

Your parents are just like,

make your own bloody noodles. You're old enough.

Oh, my God.

So I would have thought it would be like maybe they'd make it in a pot.

Yeah.

We used to make it in a pot rather than pouring hot water on it.

But you just also could microwave them.

Yeah, microwave them.

Because it was easier.

I never ate it. I just never ate two-minute noodles as a kid.

Yeah, but you went to private school,

and your mum would make you a charcuterie board

after school every day.

Exactly. I'd much prefer that.

Beautiful slice of fined cheeses from France.

Truffle fried rice.

Oh, my God. The truffle cheese.

It was delightful on an oaty cracker.

The rest of us didn't have that, Hailey.

My mum used to peel my mandarins for them

and have small segments across the board.

Lovely.

I would have thought they would have been like

water from the pot when they're pouring into the bowl.

Are injuries to the thighs

or genital areas after they've

rested a scalding bowl of noodles

on their laps?

Oh, this is why.

My parents said it before me.

Would you eat that at the table, please?

Yes.

When I see my kids carrying a cereal

from the kitchen to the lounge, I'm like,

back into the kitchen.

Not on the carpeted area.

I still think they can get away with that.

Taking it into the lounge.

So cheeky.

So someone from the Burns unit.

This is terrible.

Has said that boiling water in a hot noodle containing

the ones you'd pour it in to the actual cup

can take an hour

to cool down to a safe temperature after cooking.

Oh, wow.

Whereas you'd just boil it, put it in

and then be like...

And then so they're sitting on the couch

and it's spilling onto them and they're getting

and they're saying they can cause long

lasting injuries and lifelong scarring.

People are getting that burnt by this.

Oh, wow, okay.

So they're just saying, don't

don't do it.

And if you're going to do it with boiling water,

just don't make it that hot. It doesn't need to be that hot.

Yeah.

We'll just microwave, but I guess

you must be talking about the in the cup ones, right?

Will you just add water?

Yeah, that's what I had for dinner last night.

And I just turned the

mug off early.

Yeah.

Well, so you've kind of done that opposite to how

Vaughn and I did it.

When your mum's not around,

you have to make your own noodles.

Yeah.

You have to fend for yourself. You go noodles.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'd go crazy if my parents went around

though they'd come home and we would have like

microwaved the frost at a steak.

Yes.

Yeah.

Which is why I turn the tomato sauce over.

I never went steak or meat.

I'd always just make icing or eat jelly crystals.

You would make icing. I'd do a loaf of bread.

Oh, just bread.

While we're waiting for our steak to cook and sometimes we would let it cook for about an hour.

We would have a

scoop full of raro.

Yum.

Into the mouth and just like...

God, the weird stuff we ate.

Yeah.

I used to do microwaved bread, like bread

with cheese.

And microwave it and the bottom would be wet.

And the crust would be like...

Yeah, yeah.

But yum no way. Yum no?

Yeah.

Play.

Today's silly little poll.

Mmm.

I'm just looking at the X-ray

and like surgical procedure

pictures of leg lengthening.

It's becoming more and more popular.

I feel like I'm reading more articles about

particularly men.

Yeah.

Most always men

getting leg lengthening surgeries.

Jefferson Cosio from

Columbia.

Acquired four inches

in height

from a painful limb lengthening surgery.

Yeah.

Cos I've heard it's really painful.

Yeah.

Cos they basically what extend your

leg bones?

Yeah. They break them

and then put an extension in them.

Right? It's not worth it.

Two years ago I had an issue with my legs

and I don't really want to talk about it because it's very personal.

He said to his 10.6, 10.9 million

people.

There was a lot of speculation and conspiracy

theories,

which I don't really care for.

But one of the things that had the most impact on me

was to do with leg stretching.

I looked into it, met some people and found that yes,

it exists. It had gone into my head that that was something I wanted to do.

Your skin would,

you'd get quite, you'd get a lot of stretch marks, wouldn't you?

Because your skin would have to over

the course of a day

lengthen.

And the muscle would stretch so it would be small,

you know?

Just don't bother.

We stan a short king.

This is what we asked for silly little poll.

If you could pay, would you do it?

Would you get surgery to become taller?

6% of people said yes.

Small amount of people

and 94% said no way.

So just to

clarify,

so they put in a rod

that's extendable and they extended

an inch over the course of

extend, extend, extend.

So they don't just go in and rip your leg apart.

No, so they're jacking your torture device over,

they're torturing your leg over

a period of a few years.

This is making me feel queasy.

Yeah, it sounds painful.

It does. Get some platform shoes.

You're not on earth for that longer time, really.

You don't want to be given years of it

to not being able to walk around properly because of the stretchy

stretchy legs.

I want longer legs, says Courtney, so I'm guessing she must have said yes.

Okay.

So do I. Brett said

I love being a short king.

Also plays well into the Golden Retriever

boyfriend narrative. Yeah, great.

Okay. Does he

ride his Golden Retriever?

Into battle.

I imagine he's

riding his Golden Retriever around the dog park

and just picking up chicks. Yes.

Hey, you want to hop on?

Or no, it's too much for a Golden Retriever.

Put on the back. You're not two people.

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, I've got it wrong, have I?

I mean, no, you're Golden Retriever loads.

Small, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny

foxes. Right.

And a far off land ruled by the Goblin King.

Sam said I'm a short king

and economy is like first class baby.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'm on board with

that. So yeah, because my kids

can do the sky

couch. Yeah. Oh my god, you'd be

able to do the sky couch. You'd be able to do the sky couch

if you were short. Yeah.

Have a little snooze back there in economy.

Julie says, yeah, if it was free and painless,

well, that's not our question, Julie.

Our question was, would you pay for it? And apparently

very painful. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like saying

would you skydive?

Yes, as long as there was absolutely zero

chance of death. Yeah.

You know, you got, there's risks in life, Julie.

Hannah says, not worth

the pain at all. Yeah.

Speaking from experience.

I don't think many people in New Zealand

would have this. No. No.

As long as it was safe, I'm just shy of

1 meter 60 and I'd love to see

slash reach the higher shelves.

I'm going to just get a little step ladder.

Get one of those pincer.

Pincer things getting out.

We're metric, but all of my height

that I'm familiar with is foot in inches.

160, so she's that tall.

That's not even short. That's not even short

for a ladder. I've got my chin

on your head. Yeah.

That's not that short. I've seen shorter.

Kevin says, I'm 6'3, but

if I had an ungodly amount of money, I'd consider

going to a solid 6'6.

What? He'd go higher.

No. No, being 6'6

is not good. It's not fun.

6'4 is about, that would be my maximum.

Yeah. 6'6, you can't buy pants

in a store. Yeah. Yeah.

And you're ducking through doorways. You can't put it on a plane seat.

Yeah. Yeah. No, Kevin, you be

happy with what you've got there. You've been given

6 foot 3 inches of God's gift.

God, that's a good height.

It's a great height, Kevin. It's hot.

Yeah. It's just under 6'4.

Easily over 6'4. No one's going to look at Kevin

and be like, that guy's under 6'4. Yeah.

No, no.

Gemma said, I'm 5'4

and just a few more inches would really help with clothing

lengths, etc. But also,

only if it was pain-free and cheap, but that's a game.

Yeah. That's not the question. That's not the answer.

That's more if you had the money. Yeah.

Yeah. That's not from the Gemmarino

who's just about 5'4 as well.

The Gemma's short.

Do you know any tall Gemma's?

Gemma...

McCore. McCore. She's tall.

Gemma Chan, the actor. She looks tall, but that

won't be the Gemma's, to be honest.

I think you'd be surprised at how many Gemma's you know.

Yeah, you'd know a lot of Gemma's. I have to think.

Yeah, there's a lot out there. Have a think.

Ah, that is a little...

Well, the first of October, I didn't know,

but it was National Coffee Day.

Oh. Happy National... Good morning to our coffee drinker listeners.

Coffee drink. Remember when you didn't

drink coffee? Well, I still kind of don't,

but every now and then in this sort of

second half of the year, I've been having a little

coffee, but I couldn't possibly

have more than, say,

like three a week.

That's mild.

That's a low level...

I wouldn't even say I'm a coffee drinker. I just have little...

Espresso Martinez.

I actually... I'd probably drink quite a few

a year, actually. Yeah, when you add up

your Espresso Martinez... Yeah, that's added my numbers up.

Well, they did some research, and this is based on

Americans, but the average American,

and I thought, this was

quite... This made me think about how much

coffee I drink. The average American

drinks 460

cups of coffee every year.

I think they're writing that like, oh my God,

that's so much coffee.

That's like one and a half, one and a

third a day. Yeah. But we're like...

Three? I'm three a day.

You're three a day? And the weekends maybe

two? Maybe three? I have more

on the weekends, do you?

I think so. Oh, because

probably not, because I have three a day. I have two here

and then one on the afternoon.

You've won in the afternoon. Why would you do

that? About three o'clock, I have a cup of tea and a big

cup of coffee. Yeah, I just

I've got to find my afternoon

energy. But you won't...

Does it impact your sleep? No.

I sleep better on

the tail end of a coffee than I do if I don't.

Oh, interesting. And your mum,

when we've talked about this... My mum goes to bed

before she goes to bed and then complains that she hasn't

slept. So South Africans that I know,

apparently there's a big South African thing to have a coffee

before bed? That's it. Well, some people, it doesn't even touch

the sides, does it? Yeah.

So three a day,

which is like... There'd be the odd day I'd go

over, but there's also the odd day I wouldn't do it.

That's 1,095 a

year. Like if we go to the

diner down the road, they do bottomless

coffee. And you'll have three in about 20 minutes.

Yeah, and then you've already had like two at work.

So that's like five, having five

in one day. Yeah, true.

So you've looked out that it's not bad for you, right?

Coffee. I don't think so.

It's one of those... It's an addiction,

but you get addicted to it, but you're

addicted to something that's not particularly bad for you.

Out of all the addictions, it's

low down, right? And so according

to this research... Is it a bubble below meth?

It's just under meth. Simmering.

They interchange. Oh, it goes

one over the other. Meth, ciggies, coffee.

Right. Right.

Who wouldn't boost fit in there? Right, it's up

there as well. That's at the bottom.

As well as finding out that the average American

drinks 460 cups of coffee a year,

they also found that for

81% of people that responded,

getting up

out of bed is what motivates

them for that coffee. Getting that coffee

gets them out of bed. That's what they get out of

bed for. That's what they get out of bed for.

Helps your poop as well if you want a morning poop. Keeps

you regular. Yeah.

I remember

when I... I think I tried being

a coffee drinker when I was at university.

And that's when I also was a smoker.

Right. And I would wake up and be like

coffee and a cig.

Wouldn't finish it. I'd have to abandon it.

Abandon the coffee. Run to the toilet. What about the

cig?

You got two bowel cleaners there.

Because people who smoke cigarettes reckon that morning

cigarette gets them going. Yeah, I know.

Relaxes everything. Yeah.

Four adults in our house

and we all drink seven plus coffees a day

each. Seven.

That's a lot.

Are they sleeping at all?

No, that's a lot.

I don't think so.

There's an Airbnb host.

She has a two-story

house in Miami.

Go Miami He. Nice.

Miami and it's like a

houses 15 people

and it's basically set up to be

a party house. Like she's got

a dance room

with lights

and stripper poles and...

Normally, you have to lie on Airbnb

and say, oh, it's just

really quiet weekend with really well...

Old friends. Yeah.

But it's just high tea

and there's four of us.

It's got pool tables, a wine

cellar. It's, you know, it's

set up for the good life. Yeah, nice.

So lots of party groups hire this house

and then this woman,

Juliana, that's her name, not

Guiliani,

has been sharing on her TikTok

weird things that her guests leave behind.

There's all sorts. I mean, there's a lot of junk

and a lot of people like trashing the house,

half-eaten cakes,

ice cube tray with rosebud-shaped

ice moulds,

an exercise hula hoop

that will vibrate

like this.

Quite a few penis cups.

Oh, yeah.

She's got a sort of a number of those.

A lot of like hats with

bride on it and sashes and that kind

of stuff.

Dekka Unokart's massive bong.

Big old bong.

Biggest bong I've ever seen.

Do you like purchase locally and then just

like purchase for a gag and then

it's too big to take home, leave it there.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, look at this thing.

It's huge.

It's massive.

What else did you got? She gets a lot

of unconsumed alcohol which she keeps

including bottles of Verve Clico.

A lot of champagne.

Fine.

But anything that's even been cracked

at the seal, she has to tip down the sink.

I was going to say, would you take

like a half a bottle of bodies?

No, you'd have to get rid of it. Only

unopened. Yeah, I don't know why.

They might have laced it with something.

I think there's a couple of cleaners or maybe

other Airbnb owners that have gone viral

for all the food they get. Yes.

That people leave in Airbnb.

So she says anything that's in the fridge

goes in the bin, but a lot of people leave

in the fridge.

And then there's the other ingredients.

They've got all the intentions of cooking

while they're there and then they just don't.

Pastors and flowers and

all that kind of stuff. She keeps those.

A floor baby booster

was found in the rubble of a hens do.

Like, you know, there's little ones

you put them in and they wheel around

the little babies and stuff.

She was like, oh I hate to think.

A pair of false eyelashes

neatly stuck side by side to the wall

and peeled them off.

Yeah.

She says a lot of it.

Once she found a pair of Christian Dior

sunglasses, she kept those

and a Mark Jacobs handbag

with a thousand dollars.

Oh wow. And she said she even

reached out to the person and was like, hey, you left this year

and the person was like, you just have it.

Just have it.

What a hangover, right?

I just can't.

I better go to the airport. You keep this.

A lot of what you read out was hens.

Not stags.

If you owned a party Airbnb

would you rather have a hens do

or a stag do?

There's neither an option.

No, you have to have one. Hens.

Hens.

They're more likely to clean up afterwards.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, you're right.

Less likely to be like so aggressive

or just crash.

It'll just be like a wipe up mess.

And a lot of penis stuff.

Yeah, a lot of penis.

A lot of dick straws.

A man in the UK

has discovered a price glitch.

Which feels pretty good. I love that.

Yeah, I love that.

Very rarely these days.

If it does happen at the supermarket

it's always the old price,

not the special price.

And you're always like,

I swear these avocados are a dollar cheaper

and then you're like, if you bring it up

they'll all die off.

And then you're like,

I don't know.

And then you're like, if you bring it up

they'll honor it.

It's a lot of effort.

So there's fellows at the

Sainsbury's

using the self-serve checkout

and he scans

a 10 pack of Peronis.

Now this is supposed to be 11 pounds

with a nectar card, but after he scans

through his nectar card it drops to 6 pounds.

So he's like, well that's half price.

Well that shouldn't be, that's way too cheap for beers.

I gotta get more beers.

And you just say Peronis.

Oh nice.

That's about a dollar a beer.

Yeah, that's pretty good isn't it?

New Zealand price at a dollar a beer.

So he goes back and he gets more.

He ends up buying 540

cans of beer.

So 54 10 packs.

Yeah, because that's what I thought was weird

but then I'm looking at a picture now and it is.

It's a Peroni and a can.

I'm Peroni's a bottle.

It's a great tap beer.

It's on tap at a pub.

It's a great tap beer.

I'm more of a raspberry cruiser on tap

kind of guy.

Same.

Do you do your beer?

Do you stop being silly?

I'm a little much shaken tap.

I've never seen a much shaken tap.

Sometimes you'll see something on tap

and you'll say, you have no business being on tap.

There's pals on tap in places.

You've got no business being on tap.

And espresso martini's on tap?

No, no, no.

Yeah, rubbish.

Make me one.

Not on tap.

So he's like, well, I'm going to do it.

And so he did it and nobody pulled him up on it.

Did he do like several trips back

or did he just go straight back while he was there

and he was like, well, I better take advantage of this price.

Well, I think he got to the car

and then he was just like, he called his mate

and his mate's like, he sounds like a great deal

and they came down and they sorted it out.

He said, I've got a bar at home so this is great

and then there's a picture of how many boxes he's got

and it's all over his bar.

So he's going to need to find somebody to stack those.

And has the supermarket come out and said,

oh, you, we got that price wrong.

Gives us our beer back?

No.

Sainsbury's haven't said anything about it.

I'd imagine they just changed the price.

Yeah, I'd take advantage of that.

Hell yeah, I would clean them out though.

Yeah.

They don't have pallets of it, do they?

They have to be a big Sainsbury's.

But they're not going to have it all out in the front.

And if you ask them to go get more from out the back,

you're really going to raise their attention to it.

So we were wondering if you ever had a price error

in your favor, maybe it came to an online checkout

and you put in the code and they'd done the code.

Oh yes.

All wrong and it gave you some horrific,

not horrific because it's good for you.

Horrific for them.

Discount on the product.

Oh, the poor supermarkets.

I know.

They're terrible for them.

They're going to run it a loss that they're probably

other businesses.

It's probably more likely to happen to smaller businesses.

I know. I'd feel bad if it was a small business.

I probably wouldn't.

I say that now.

But when there was a price glitch and you were just like,

I'll take it.

I love when someone puts,

I'm selling on a $1 reserve on trademark.

And for some reason it just doesn't hit the...

Yeah, they don't get the views and someone

swoops in and they have to sell it for $1.

The person selling starts up a second trademark

and starts bidding against you.

You can tell it is because it's a brand new trademark.

Yeah, 100%.

You know what we should talk about this soon?

Haley's purchased something from Trademey.

That'll fit.

I think what we should do is put up a photo now

on an Instagram of your car

and the chair that you've purchased

and then we do a poll.

Will this fit in a Mazda 3?

Because I don't think it's going to fit.

You're going to drive 45 minutes.

You're going to have to shape and size in your car.

Yeah.

You've got such a thin car, babes.

Yeah, you do.

We'll get into this soon.

But right now we want to know when you had a price

error in your favor.

A man in the UK went to a supermarket

and the bear scanned at half the price,

which was an error.

And so he was like, well, I'm going to buy

500 cans as you do.

I would.

100%. I would too.

Chris, when did you get a price glitch

in your favor?

Shopping online at bras and things.

I got a bra.

There was $180

for free.

Oh my God.

Just because they hadn't put the price in right?

Yeah, I just put like

the cheapest bras, like lowest to highest

and it sees $0 down from $180

and I thought nothing was going to show up

and it was my favorite bra.

Wow.

So it comes purely from a financial

standpoint. Did it make your breasts look

$180 better?

I'm never felt hotter.

Yeah.

So when that one's kind of done, do you think

you'll buy it again in that brand

for the full price?

No.

She's got a free one to pay.

Exactly. Hard to justify.

Amazing. Thanks. You're cool.

Lily, you're on the other side

of this. You actually worked at a place

where your workmate stuffed up the price.

Yeah, so

we used to do our own signs through mail

merge and she didn't

quite correct the price on the ticket

and was selling a brand new

Bosch oven for $314.

Oh my God.

Those are like thousands of dollars.

Bosch.

He came in and I thought, cool, got a

customer and he was like, I'll take

that one and I thought, oh my God.

He's, yeah, and we had to honor it

because that's what we do.

You do. You have to honor the

average price.

$300.

What did the boss say about this?

He wasn't very happy,

obviously, but

we had a big meeting afterwards and then

we had to get double checking done on all

our signs that we were printing and

had to get somebody else to go through them.

But yeah, he got a good score that day.

Oh my God.

That guy would have been stoked.

That was probably from $300 to what?

It was probably around, I think

it was like maybe four, four and a half

and we had mapped it down.

So yeah, so we used to mark

them down to like if it was like on a big

special to like just above kind of cost

and then this guy got it for

cost.

He's

cooked a few roasts and every time

the cocks are roasted, he thinks $300.

$300, man.

So good Lily. Thank you. Some messages in.

of Karlsburg beer and the sign said 12.99 for a dozen.

And I was like, that's cheap.

And that was the price for the six pack,

but they'd accidentally put it out for the 12 pack as well.

Mustana, mustana.

Mustana.

Mustana.

Bought 15 boxes.

Yes.

I bought six bottles of GHMUM.

Oh man.

For 35 dollars each account and they scanned at 70,

but I got the manager and showed him the price label

and that to honor it.

Oh my God.

Yeah, they do.

They've got honor.

Grabbed another couple of boxes.

Yes, I am.

My friend told me that the warehouse had a listed price

of Samsung S10s for $100 instead of $1,100.

I bought three of them and soon after they removed it

from their website, had an email saying they would honor it

because they hadn't listed at that price.

And friends and me ended up with multiple latest smartphones

and we sold the other ones for profit.

Literally $1,000 profit each.

Wow.

At countdown in Cambridge a few years ago,

I got a whole beef eye fillet.

So the whole fillet for $2.79.

Oh my God.

It was so huge.

I made a lovely large beef Wellington.

The lady at the checkout said,

congratulations on profiting from the epic markup in Butchery.

Yeah.

I wasn't even looking at that.

But when I saw $2.79, I was like, oh, let's go.

Was it meant to be like 26 or something?

Yeah.

Oh, here's one for you guys.

Ordered cocktails at a bar.

One of those QR scanning apps.

Fancy espresso martinis, not on tap.

Yes.

When listed at $2 instead of $20,

three rounds of espresso martinis later

in the bar staff never noticed

because they never see the amount

that's all taken care of behind the scenes.

This happened at a bar that I went to as well

and someone told me that that had happened to them as well.

Oh my God.

$2 espresso martinis.

Oh my God.

And why did they stop at three rounds?

Oh yeah.

But I would keep drinking until I shit my pants.

You're same.

Play.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

We're upset.

There is news if you're voting in the selection

that you may not get a sticker.

No, you're not.

They're not doing them.

You're not getting a sticker.

What is the last time I just voted,

and it was the orange guy and the dog?

Yeah.

Or it's a orange guy.

An old flat's going into a box.

It's not a leaflet.

It's your voting paper.

Well, your voting paper, yeah.

Well, it's not a leaflet being delivered in the mail.

There's an upside down mailbox, and someone's

putting a pamphlet in it.

Something close enough.

So it looks like that.

Now, you can go on twinkle.co.nz,

and you can buy your own.

I don't want to.

But they're not giving them out.

Apparently, the reporter overseas just had one on,

but that's probably been sitting in the basement

of the New Zealand Consulate for like three years

since the last election, right?

Yeah.

There was some left over.

You'd imagine that it would have a few rolls.

This is the only reason I vote.

Beware the fish on Twitter or X or whatever it's called.

I actually finally deactivated my account.

I'm going to turn mine off.

I'm going to turn mine off on Twitter.

I'm not doing it anymore.

I did mine like 10 years ago.

Let me just double check to see if anyone's talking about me,

and then I'm getting rid of them.

Do we get orange man stickers after voting?

This year says, beware the fish.

The Electoral Commission.

Electoral, electoral.

Electoral.

Putting an extra syllable in there.

Classic Vaughn.

Kia ora, we will no longer be providing stickers.

So it's official.

They have not made stickers.

Yeah, but you can.

They say, we're providing stickers at elections.

However, you can use the digital ones from Giffy,

or if you would like, giffy.com slash voteNZ,

or search voteNZ in your GIF selection tool.

You're just.

Is this because of the lame environment?

Yeah, it might be, actually.

And the environment is like a kid.

It loves stickers.

Yeah, I don't care about the cost of the environment.

I want a sticker.

I want a sticker.

Are we doing pens this year?

We have a COVID election.

We're allowed pens, because it was like,

maybe you don't want to touch it.

The pens are what we've been touching.

Yeah, maybe.

I've still got that pen.

Or you can BYO pen.

I might BYO pen.

Yeah, I've got a nice pen.

It hardly ever comes out of the box.

Oh, yeah, I've got a nice pen too.

Pop it in my top pocket, and I better lose it.

And then I'll be like, I lost that nice pen.

Got a nice pen from when I was a celebrant once.

Oh, yeah, good.

Not when you were in my license by the way.

I'm glad as a celebrant you had a nice pen.

Do you have a nice folder?

Had a lovely folder.

Good girl.

Yes.

I'm not standing here with a clear file.

No, some do.

Some do.

Some do.

How embarrassing for them.

How embarrassing.

Oh, this is disappointing.

No stickers.

I'm not voting.

No, I'll vote.

You got a vote?

Got a vote.

Got a vote.

You say, but you're not getting a bloody sticker if you do.

Or a pen.

It's disappointing.

This year's been crap all around.

Probably still get to have a bit of a look

around like a school or something, though.

You know, it's weird going into a school.

Oh, I love that.

It's always in a school.

You're like, let's have a look around this school.

Weird.

And you walk around, and you say things about the school.

Like, didn't have these on my day.

So apparently, in lieu of stickers, there's gifts.

You take a photo of yourself, say, I voted, and then use a gift.

But you can't take photos where you vote.

They were always like, no phones.

No photos.

OK, there's a photo of myself.

And what would I say?

They always say no photos, but you're

allowed as long as you're not showing your voting papers

on who you voted for.

I'm just looking at these gifts.

NZ election.

So that's just not the same.

Oh, yeah.

Just prancing stickers.

No, they're quite cool gifts.

Somebody said I voted yesterday.

Someone messaged and I voted yesterday

and actually said to them, is there stickers?

And they said, not this year.

And I was a bit disappointed.

Yeah, see?

Yeah, the people are upset.

People are upset.

You've got three years to sort this out.

Yeah.

Play.

Let's vote in Ailee.

Play.

Zed in.

I have bought a leather recliner and footstool.

How have you not got?

Always buying.

She's always, is there ever any selling?

Yeah.

Also, I've got some.

I sold a shelf.

I've got a lounge suite of yours in my garage.

You're buying more furniture?

I think we need to address the fact you've got a problem.

I actually, I may need to store this in your house if possible.

You know what?

You can't, as long as you can store it inside,

it looks like a bloody good shit.

Yeah, I want you sitting in it.

I could do some real thinking in this chair.

I love this.

You showed me and I was like, I want this.

It's a mid-century inspired, but I don't know if it's genuine.

I can't remember which category I found it in,

you know, whether it was just furniture or if it was retro.

It looks posh.

So it's a second hand.

It's from Trade Me.

From Trade Me.

I paid more than I wanted to, but I got it.

Yep.

And it's quite tall in it, like reclines.

Now, I don't know.

I just, I remember today that I have to pick it up.

Yep.

The guy's sick of my shite, you know, and he's just like.

Oh, you're not, no, you're not one of those people.

No, I'm not.

It's just that I, the sale went through and then I paid

and then I went away and then, you know, so he's like.

Oh my God, you are a posh.

Can you come and get this place?

This is, you are the reason I hate Trade Me.

Yes, I hate it too.

I sold something this week and now I've got to organize a herd

to come get it.

And I'm like, yeah.

Blah.

And then she'll come in and chew your ear off me.

That's famously said.

Blah.

So I, and then I just figured today, I just remembered now

and I've got a car that's like, I've got my laundry in there.

I was going to go do that today.

It's just a mess.

So you're driving the Maz.

The Maz is three.

And you showed us a picture of, and this is on our Instagram story.

The picture of your car, Hailey, and the picture of the chair

that you've bought.

Yeah.

And I don't think it's going to fit.

Well, what did the people say?

Let me have a little lucky.

We'll see the latest, latest result.

Do you want to borrow the Jimny?

Well, Hailey's new chair fit in the car.

My car is so much bigger than the Jimny.

Yeah, that's so tiny.

I've got the height.

You've got the roof racks, though.

I've got the roof racks.

You could tie it on.

Well, on my own with, no, no.

I've got some straps.

I've got some load straps in the car.

Always carry load straps.

How ambitious is a little Jimny carrying load straps?

I don't know.

Never know when I need a strap on the down.

Never know.

Will Hailey's new chair fit in her car?

For sure or no, you're Dalulu hon.

No, I'd ask.

Dalulu means delusional.

Yes, thank you.

58% of people think that it's going to fit.

58%.

But the fact that the thing is.

Not enough to form a government.

Oh, no, it isn't enough to form a government.

It's not like you're driving 10 minutes down the road,

and if it doesn't fit, you can go get Aaron's ute.

It's an hour away, and then an hour back.

And then so if it doesn't fit, there's another two hours

I always do this.

When I buy something on Traymail, I say Auckland only,

because that's where I live.

And then I never look at the thing.

Golf harbour should not be counted as Auckland.

It should be counted as Fungarene.

Fungarene, yes, is that by the way.

I'm nearly going to Poo Hoy to get this thing.

Yeah, you might as well get some cheese while you're up there.

Go and see the old wire wearer.

It might pop to Poo Hoy.

Yeah.

Why not?

You're going to have to pay a toll.

To get there, you're going to have to pay a toll?

No, it's pre-toll.

Just pre-toll.

Is it just pre-toll?

No, it's pre-toll.

Yeah, I know, because I would always head up to Dargavall that way.

It's pre-toll, but God, it's close to toll.

Very close to toll.

I might as well go to Matakana for the day

and just have a beautiful afternoon on my own.

At the market stalling.

At the market stalling.

At the market stalling.

At the market stalling.

Tuesday, you damn fool.

Well, wish me luck.

I shall try to document it as best as possible,

unless it goes wrong, in which I have an absolute tantrum.

Is this person going to re-list this item

though, if you don't pick it up today?

Like if you have to come back another day?

You paid for it, you said it.

I've paid for it, and I want it.

And I've stuffed them around a bit, so I've got to go and get it.

So if you see a bloody Mazda...

With the boot open.

With the boot open.

Do you want to borrow my Strops?

So you can put it on the roof, strap it on.

You have to...

I took the harness off a little bit.

Your harnesses.

Your what? Strops.

Strops, the loadstrops.

I don't need to borrow your blaze.

And you've got to go click, click, click.

What is that going to do for me?

How's that going to heal me?

How's that going to heal me?

It's not going anywhere.

Which is what you also say when you strap something

into a sex way.

That's not going anywhere.

It's not going anywhere.

I love a wedding.

You know me, I love a wedding.

I love attending a wedding.

I love getting dressed up.

I love the ceremony.

I love to cry.

I love love.

And...

Imagine born and I when we're at your wedding.

Oh my God, imagine.

We are so excited.

I cannot imagine.

For 2024?

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

You know, let's not put a date on it.

You know?

Let's just see what's happening.

Floating.

Yeah, it's floating.

Okay.

I'm always curious about the food.

Sometimes you go to weddings and there's like a buffet

or a bit more formal.

I've gone to a few like really casual weddings

with potluck and they were awesome.

A potluck wedding?

Oh, yum.

There was so much food.

You've got to get dressed and think about what to make.

Yeah, but no gift.

That was the thing.

Oh my God, it was so good.

And everyone like brings their best thing.

But then once you end up with...

The balance isn't right.

Is it like bring a salad and a meat?

There's like an online form.

Okay, of what you'll do.

Breads, meats, salads.

Okay, I like this.

Like a gift registry.

Yeah.

Except a potluck registry.

Okay.

Well, if you do a potluck,

iBags bring in the mumma for your rallies,

garlic bread.

You are not invited to the wedding.

You're on it.

You're on it.

Thank you.

How much mumma for your rallies, garlic bread

is he going to have to bring?

I'll bring five.

I'll bring five.

Five.

I'll bring five twin packs.

I'll bring five twins.

So ten lives.

Yeah, that's good.

How many people are at this wedding?

No, like no one.

Oh, okay.

But at that wedding you went to?

This wedding I went to,

her uncle went to the local Indian takeaway

and got two bay mares of butter chicken.

Yeah.

It kicked.

It was awesome.

Then you've got a bit of ceviche

and a bit of nachos.

Yeah, what a weird.

You've got just a weirdest mix of food.

Okay, I'm on board.

That sounds so good.

Anyway, there's a couple that's gone viral

for having their wedding catered by McDonald's.

Yes, and I'm here for this.

We're talking your nuggets,

your burgers, your chips.

And when I think about weddings,

I'm like, man, I've been drinking.

I've been drinking since 2 p.m.

There is never enough food.

No.

I've been starved at weddings.

Born has been to weddings recently

and he's not been happy.

Here's the problem with them.

They've also been in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah.

It's very hard for me to just nip away for a snack.

Yeah.

Which I'll do if it's like in an event place

and there's like, it's in town

or an area where I can just

sneak away, get somebody to come back.

I'll take care of myself.

That's fine.

But if you're in the middle of nowhere,

Big Daddy's got to be fed.

Maybe he's so hungry.

Maybe you've got to start taking some snacks,

a little lunch box.

That's not a bad idea, actually,

because yeah, the gays have starved me out

two weddings in a row.

The gays are the worst.

The gays have starved me out two weddings in a row.

Yeah.

I'm just like, let me eat.

They're like, oh.

Is it because they've gone to fancy with the nibbles

and so they're quite petite?

Little petitey things and then...

Or divs.

Yeah.

And then the food, it kind of tribbles out.

And the key is...

You want a gushing torrent of food.

I want to open my mouth and just have food flying.

Yeah.

And I want to...

But then constant.

You've also been on the other side of things

where you've had a wedding

and you know how much food costs to cater

had a wedding.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

And our dinner was a little bit late.

But we'd fed everybody up.

We had those boards circulating.

Yeah, right.

I said the people must be fed

because these people will get too carried away

on the bubbles and the wines and the free drinks.

These people need to be fed

or we're going to have a blowout later on.

Yeah.

So now we did.

We fed them up.

Dinner was late.

The blowout was pushed right later in the evening.

Yeah.

How you need it.

This is where you want your blowout.

You can't go wrong with some big,

giant, charcuterie boards.

Yeah, totally.

Some planets and nibble kind of stations.

Just anything in the afternoon.

Yeah.

Anything.

Like sliders.

Just lots.

Or if McDonald's is catering your wedding.

Dude, yeah.

Maybe just pre...

Some nugs.

Yeah.

And fries.

No.

Just cheese and berries.

Oh my God.

Hordes of McDonald's.

How delighted would you be?

Yeah.

You'd be so...

I'm going there on the way home anyway.

But a parsley on the top.

Oh my God.

Oh, is that a wedding quarter?

You've garnished it.

A wedding cheeseburger.

A few people have commented saying like,

oh, you know, it's not bougie enough.

Or, you know, for your wedding day,

hell yes, man.

People would remember it.

People would remember it fondly, too.

And they won't be upset.

Yeah.

100%.

Oh my God.

I want to go to this wedding.

If I do end up...

If I ever had a wedding in New Zealand,

holy hell.

Potluck.

Oh, yeah.

Potluck would be awesome.

Potluck would be awesome.

As long as someone brings two bain-maries

of butter chicken.

What is a bain-marie?

A big serving plate.

You know, the big, like, catering...

Oh, the big steel things that you put

over the hot water in it.

Hot water.

Oh yeah, like the buffet trays.

Yeah.

Two of those butter chicken.

Butter chicken.

Yes, please.

There's some nuggets on the side.

I'd be in the butter chicken sauce

with the nuggets.

Oh my God.

I want to dip a nuggy into butter chicken.

What up?

Oh my God.

Next time we're not.

The curry sauce was sold.

We went to Mackers the other day.

The girls got nuggets and it popped up.

What sauce do you want?

Curry sold out, it said.

Yeah, it's good stuff.

Oh my God.

We need to go to a mall.

And we need to go to a mall, curry.

And a mall, nuggy.

Yep.

And dip.

Dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.

I don't think we can hear me dancing.

But I'm not.

Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day.

Day, day, day.

Day, day, day.

Day, day, day, day.

Day, day, day.

Day, day, day.

Day, day.

Day, day.

Day, day, day.

Day, day.

Day, day.

Day, day.

I just found Tamaru's Fact of the Day for Sesame Street Week.

You do a little wiggle.

I got really excited.

It's one of my favourite.

I want to talk about hands today.

Okay.

For Sesame Street.

Hands.

Cookie Monster and Ernie

are the only left-handed Muppets shut out and they've made they made them

specifically to represent the left-handed community how do you feel about that

Haley being a lefty yeah yeah they were like we need left-handed Muppets

because they're a left-handed people I remember watching need to be represented

and left righties won't notice it but lefties will notice as well I remember

those early episodes where they try to beat it out of them yeah yeah yeah no son

and whenever you have a left-handed fairy whenever we have a Cookie Monster wrote

with his right hand they gave him a cookie as a result and gone was writing

with his left hand but he'd picked up a very bad food reward program he was

rewarded with food he became addicted to food he developed an unhealthy

relationship with food yeah do something good get yourself a treaty

well as we talked about in the show yeah yeah so Cookie Monster and Ernie the

only left-handed Muppets Cookie Monster and the Swedish chef are the only Muppets

with five fingers that all move oh every other Muppet has four fingers have you

ever seen how the Muppets with two hands work like your Cookie Monsters your

Ernie's your Swedish chef there's two people isn't there two people yeah one

person operates the mouth and one one and the same person operates one of their

hands now so in the Ernie and the Cookie Monster who are the left the puppeteer

would operate the mouth with his right and their arm with the left oh yeah

meaning that they could do the you know do that and the other person would

operate the right hand right individually only does have five fingers yeah

no he doesn't he's four no no not Ernie sorry Cookie Monster and Swedish chef are

the only Muppets with five fingers that all move oh Cookie Monster and Ernie are

the only ones that are left-handed five fingers I don't know why it looks weird

that he's got five fingers yeah just used to them having four some of the other

Muppets have five fingers but they don't move because of the Muppets that are

controlled with like the sticks and the wires yes they're not oh yeah articulated

fingers hmm interesting yeah now it was during this I just went to check

something hmm about the Swedish chef that will bring us tomorrow's fact of the

day for Muppet work I think he's one of my favorite chaos when I was a kid I

loved animal yeah I loved animal was one of my favorites because it was just like

chaos when he was playing the drums it was chaos Swedish chef because it was

pure unadulterated madness that I just was just like I love this I love this

and fozzy bear because he just couldn't do it

he bombed every time and that was what made him break and you know what he never

quit he never quit he got out there and he gave it another go what a beautiful

message yeah if you're a terrible comedian just keep going just keep trying

and try harder and harder and harder and harder push yeah yeah even if you

weren't born with a sense of humor at all keep going or get into politics

today's fact of the day Sesame Street hands Cookie Monster and Ernie are the

only left-handed Muppets and Cookie Monster and the Swedish chef are the

only Muppets with five fingers that all move

daddee

a number of different celebrities are announcing that their children will

get none of their inheritance

Mick Jagger's just done it.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher.

Just a little bit.

None, my darling.

I'll feed you.

I'll feed you.

But you're not getting any.

It's like, you know, so they learn the value of hard work

and all that.

Boo.

Boo.

Boo.

If I had a rich daddy, I'd be living it up.

Completely.

Hell yeah.

Completely.

If your dad was Bill Gates, if your mom and dad were Bill

and Linda Gates.

I'd be Bill Jr.

Call me BJ.

No, if your dad was Bill Gates, you're not getting any.

He's another celebrity who was like, no.

All these celebrities have come out and said,

you're not getting the $500 million or my billion dollars

or whatever.

But are they getting like a million?

Am I getting a car?

Are you going to buy me a car?

Surely they're getting a couple of million, right?

Or they're getting nothing.

Well, they're not inheriting it.

So for example, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis,

Jewel Worth is $421 million US.

Always forget their worth because he invested a lot

in a lot of Uber and tech startups and stuff.

Yeah, and they've been going since they were like kids

and still have quite successful careers now.

None of that.

None of that.

So I guess like, you know, because I'd live in nice houses

and you get to live as a kid in nice houses,

probably have nice clothes.

And you'd be flying everywhere in a private jet on holidays.

But when it comes time to you getting out of the house,

see you're on your own.

But what if they were like, dad, I really

want to start a business and here's my business plan.

Then they're probably, they're pretty good money for that.

And then he's like, here's a million dollars.

I don't know.

It feels that it goes against the whole NEPO baby thing

that they don't want to do.

Anyway, I would happily for the record be a NEPO baby.

Yeah, also, oh my God, same.

They should just give their kids all the money

because they already wrote a character reference

for Danny Marsden.

Yeah.

I mean, that reputation's tarnished.

No one's going to remember if you gave your kid

all your money after.

I know.

Oh, we're giving it all to charity.

Like, don't bother now.

Yeah, no.

I want to know if you, if this is sort of your circumstance,

is your family rich, but you're not?

And what was the decision around you not getting any of your?

Well, maybe you fell out with your rich family

and you don't get any of that.

Maybe you left.

Yeah, maybe you were written out of the will.

Or maybe you've just got parents that are like, no,

you don't get any of this.

Yeah.

You've got to make your own.

Because Rich and Branson did the same with his kids as well.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm pretty sure he did a while ago.

Someone's got a one here at that island.

Yeah, he's got a home.

You get the island.

Although in a few years, that island will be underwater anyway.

So, you know, get all the spaceships and claims and stuff.

Oh, yeah, he has spoken out saying he hopes he'll help his children

carry on his charity work, because he does a lot of charity work.

Yeah.

He hopes he'll help them, like, by putting money into the charities

and they can run it other than that.

No.

Only in warm places, though.

Can't wear a white linen shirt open to the navel in two-fold.

Oh, he won't put on a jacket.

No.

He's going to stay between the tropics of cancer and capricorn.

Yeah, yeah, beautiful.

Absolutely.

Anyway, however it's happened, whether you've had a falling out

or your parents have just taken a stance and said,

no, you had a job, is your family Rich, but you're not?

I do love when parents do this.

Because, yeah, it teaches you.

But God, it must suck.

You want to make a better human being, but yeah.

Yeah, if your parents are like multi-bejillionaires.

Kill your Whittlebird.

And he could be a Whittlebird.

Would you always be like, I've learned my lesson.

Little bit of money, please.

Yeah.

I've learned my lesson.

I've got a job.

Yeah, I mean, is there anybody?

I want a new duet.

I want a new duet.

It's almost an impossible phone and topic, maybe.

Yeah.

But are you in this situation?

Are your parents like stupid Rich and you or not?

Well, they don't give you a single bit of it.

Oh, my God, like Jella Lawson.

What?

Is she in Nippo, baby?

She's not giving her children nout.

Because she's going to blow it all on cocaine.

She said it ruins people to not have to earn money.

Do you know how much money she comes from money?

But money, I'm a chocolate lover.

You've also said, though, that you would work even if you won Lotto.

Yes, I would.

But that's not because my father told me about hard work.

It's just a personality trait that I can't stop busy brain.

We're talking about, because a lot of the celebrities

are cutting off their kids and saying,

you're not going to get my millions.

You're going to have to work for it.

We're talking about women.

It just went in this car.

We're talking about whether or not

why you aren't rich, if your family is,

if you've got the rich parents and they're not giving you money.

Maybe you've been cut off as well.

Becky, your grandma was cut off.

She was.

So her parents were sir and ladies in the UK.

And they considered her a spinster.

So they sent her out to look after her grandparents in New Zealand.

Wait, she was a spinster, they said.

Yeah, she was 20 seven and married in the 50s.

Oh, my God.

Fair enough, she was a spinster.

Oh, yeah.

So they sent her out to New Zealand

and she met my granddad on the boat.

And he was a Catholic and they were Protestant.

And because she didn't want to be a spinster,

they said, well, if you marry him, you're done.

You are cut off.

And so they were either like, you're a spinster and you're cut off

or you marry a Catholic and you're cut off.

No, because she's coming to look after her grandparents

who are quite wealthy as well.

So she would have been fine.

But I mean, she chose poor life.

She chose love.

She chose love in the world.

Oh, no, no, she didn't love him.

Trust me, she paid to get rid of him.

She told everyone.

Oh, so it was a loose situation for herself.

OK, so how rich were her family?

Like, well, her uncle was a lord.

So I mean, they were fairly wealthy people.

Yes. Wow.

And then, yeah, chose, yeah.

OK, amazing.

Becky, great story, great story.

Some messages in.

We want to know if you're in this similar situation,

like all these celebrities cutting off their kids.

Does it count if my kids are rich and I am not?

They're in primary school and each have an inheritance

of $2 million waiting for them.

My husband and I are absolutely working class.

How is their biological father, not my husband,

their biological father has very wealthy parents,

hence the inheritance, skipping us, going to them.

Oh, my God.

But they have good wealth, and you're going to have it all

tangled up on a trust sort of thing, right?

I feel so impious, I'm impious to these kids.

You're like millionaire kids at like what, primary school?

Yeah.

And they're like, ma'am, can I have some money for roblox?

You cannot have any money for roblox.

Well, I've got $2 million in one day,

and you're not getting a cent of it

because you didn't earn any roblox.

What would that do to you?

Oh, my God, yeah.

Would you work hard at high school?

Would you go to uni?

It would be best not to tell them, right?

I wouldn't tell them.

Yeah, no, you wouldn't tell them.

And then on their 18th birthday, they'd be like,

no, no, no, no, 25th.

20th, yeah.

I was going to say 21st, but then I was like, no.

God, could you imagine tuning 18 and having like two,

and by the time they're 18, it's probably $3 million.

I'll just be on a boat somewhere.

You'll be on sail, Croatia.

I have too many champagne, so go over the edge.

Yeah.

Clench, stand up.

Stand up.

You just said remind me to get my stand out.

Oh, pass on.

Stand up.

Oh, my God.

You've got to move.

No, you can just stand.

No, it doesn't.

Stand and while you're talking, move all your arms.

No, that's cheating.

Yes, that's nice.

I'm trying to close the stand.

Can we radio, please?

Sorry.

Thank you.

We're talking about if your family are rich and you are not.

How does that work?

What's happened?

Now, this is the sort of one I can kind of...

I've been working for the family business my whole life.

I'm an only child, but my dad wouldn't let me inherit

the business.

I had to buy him out.

It took me six years, but now I'm the girl boss.

Your dad sought your valuable lesson there.

He built that.

I was assuming he built that thing from the ground up.

He's not just going to give it away.

That's not how the real world works.

Also, he needs to get his money out when he leaves.

Wouldn't he rather stay on in some sort of cushy consulting

job and just take a drawer away, just a nice wage

from the company and slowly...

I hope he did you a good deal, though.

Not an inflated price.

Yeah, I doubt he did.

No, well, he's a hard businessman.

He's probably inflated it.

My dad didn't leave me in his business.

I could be running bloody pioneer finance right now.

But oh, no.

You would have passed that away years ago.

And the nicest possible way.

What time is it?

And the nicest possible way.

You're a train wreck.

Come on.

Yeah, you're very funny.

Finance is a terrible idea.

Giving you access to a company, a work credit card

with unlimited lunches is a bad idea, Haley Sproul.

Well, you wouldn't be here.

You'd currently be in court defending yourself

on a Ponzi scheme.

I can get you great returns.

See, great returns.

30% see, two weeks.

30% see.

This is kind of me.

Mum has set up a trust for education

for the generations to come.

We've all had our education paid for.

But then what if you've got someone

that don't want the education?

Or they don't want kids.

I mean, I know it's not free to go through trade school.

But then that's the deal.

This is that old school thinking of give me grandkids.

Yeah, give me grandkids and then give me great kids.

But then if they all do, there's too many of them.

And then the money gets very thin at the end.

We've got access to the batches.

Don't get me wrong, we're very spoiled brats.

But no dollar inheritance and such.

Just a little update from the text earlier

of the rich dad for the kids with two mil.

They don't know.

And they're not going to be told.

And they're not going to be told.

That's a good way of doing it.

That's a good way of doing it.

Because I would have been a brat as a teenager

if I knew I was a millionaire.

But if I had my 48.

You were a brat and you were dirt poor.

I know.

You're a brat.

I know, yeah.

My dad's under and well in his engineering career

and retired at 55.

He told my sister and I that when he dies,

we'll inherit, but it'll be in a trust until we're 50.

What?

You could die by then.

Oh no, no, no, no.

My life's for living in your 20s and 30s.

I'm nearly 50 and he's still alive.

So I bet he'll make it to 60.

So he'll make it 60 now just to be a dick

because he's still alive.

But you can't do that.

You can't do that.

You can't do that.

You can't do that.

You can't do that.

Because he's still alive.

But you're dying.

Because we're two and here at a 50, but he's still alive.

You've got to enjoy the money if it's there.

There's no point locking it up.

Yeah, also what you want to do is buy a house with it, right?

It makes more sense to buy the house now

because the house is just going to be more expensive

than 10 years.

Fingers crossed.

As a homeowner, fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed, I don't keep going down.

Fingers crossed, fingers crossed, fingers crossed.

Those interest rates come down.

Fingers crossed, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We're being told they won't.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Can I get in on her dad's inheritance?

Marry her.

Sorry, shards.

You out.

There's no need to get rid of shard, are you?

You can just do three.

Oh, yeah.

Polygons.

Polygons.

That's actually four, so we're going to need a fourth

if anyone's in here.

Oh, no, it's not.

Listen, growing up, I just knew my dad worked in an office

and traveled a lot.

I found out at 16, he was a CEO of a multimillion

and a multimillionaire.

I asked if he could help me out financially for uni.

He straight up said, no.

I couldn't get the student allowance

because he earned too much.

And now I've got a $50,000 debt all thanks to his tight arse.

Wow.

Wild.

That is wild.

That's wild.

Crazy.

Just pay the fees.

Well, make them finish uni and then pay off.

If you're worried about them going for a couple of years

and mucking around and then coming out with nothing

and no qualifications and a debt, say, finish uni

and I'll pay for it.

Yeah, because that's wild.

Wow.

Great stories.

Shivers, guys.

10 out of 10 podcast, that one.

Yeah.

I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't.

Or who was that?

Which one?

We'll just leave that.

We'll just leave that there.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast,

give us a rating and review.

Please do.

Unless it's a bad one.

Oh, yeah.

Don't know.

Don't bother.

Yeah, no, don't.

Don't bother.

ZM's Fletch Von and Haley.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.