ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 31st August 2023

NZME 8/30/23 - Episode Page - 1h 21m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Fleshhorn and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my MACAs rewards.

Good morning.

Welcome to the show.

Fleshhorn and Haley, three minutes past six.

Happy Friday Eve.

I thought you were going to say Friday and I was like,

no, no.

It feels like it because I'm off.

I'm off on the road again.

You're about to embark on the seven days live tour

of New Zealand to be in and out of the studio.

Yeah, in and out of the studio.

You won't miss me though because I will be beaming live

from cities across New Zealand.

From hotels and motels across the country.

Motels.

Oh, it's a budget.

Wow.

The budget's a bit higher than that.

It was a real asset in that split.

Oh, there was.

It was motels.

Wasn't there?

I've done my time.

She's fan of moteliers.

You are.

I've done my time.

You love a floral duvet.

I do.

I love making my children's sleep on a fold out couch.

Yeah.

I love a full kitchen when I'm on holiday.

You know.

Oh, yeah.

Kitchenette.

Yeah.

That's good stuff.

The house is on the seven days tour.

Is it the same lineup the whole time?

Yeah, it is.

I think there's one day where Dye swaps out for Paul Douglas.

But it's Dye Hemwood.

Paul Ego.

Jeremy Corbett's there obviously.

Ben Hurley.

Josh Thompson.

Justin Smith, myself.

Is that everyone?

Yeah, surely.

Old school seven days.

Loaded up with men.

Well, every two women on the tour is a real moment in history.

So usually only one woman on tour?

There has been for years.

Wow.

Over the last few years has been too.

Well, check it out.

It could be coming to your town, city around the country.

Indeed.

Big show today.

Not only will we play you after the news at eight o'clock, the Taylor Swift song.

We have a big announcement, a concert announcement.

I thought you were going to say the return of Hailey's version.

Is that not the announcement?

There's that too, right?

What are we not excited about?

I put a lot of effort into it.

There's that too.

But you have been shunted a little bit for this big announcement.

I have been shunted actually.

When this announcement happens, I believe we will have tickets as well.

Tickets, yeah.

And people have been hanging out for this announcement.

Just to clarify, it is not a Taylor Swift New Zealand show.

No, absolutely not.

Yeah.

That's why.

That's not happening.

But yeah, make sure you're listening at eight.

Not only for that Taylor Swift song, but that big announcement.

Huge.

Next on the show.

A ski instructor is in trouble.

Oh.

And it's not for using his mates annual pass.

It's not.

It's hard to tell.

It's hard to see the face because you're all kind of covered up with goggles and stuff.

And maybe you could be sharing a season pass.

It's not that.

Well, no, it's not that.

But I mean, that's a great idea to put that in the back pocket for later.

I have often wanted this at gyms.

You would need to kind of go.

I think because I go to any time fitness and you've got one key tag,

you can go to any, any time fitness, right?

Yeah.

You've got like a base.

Anytime fitness.

Yes.

And if you go to one anytime fitness way more than the base,

they email you and say, you are now switched your home base.

Your home base is changed.

Right.

So you could do this.

And I've always wanted what would stop people doing this on the slide.

Personal training people, but not paying to use the gym.

Because I believe if your personal training at a gym, right,

you've got to pay the gym a little something, something to use their equipment.

Yeah.

A little slice of the pie.

Yeah.

But on a gym where you can access any of them,

especially like around Auckland, there's so many of these gyms.

Yes.

You could just say, I'll meet you at the central Auckland one or I'll meet you at

a West Auckland one.

Yeah.

And then you just act like your friends with them and you just like work out with them.

But you are secretly training.

But you're secretly training them.

Yeah.

Without anybody else flipping the ticket.

Now, I've often thought that now apply it to ski fields.

Because that's what South Island ski fields are saying is happening.

Wow.

People are pre-organising, teaching people how to ski.

Yeah.

And meeting them up on the mountain and doing it for less than

their official instructors.

Exactly.

The ski field instructors charge for a lesson and one-on-one or smaller groups.

Now, someone who got caught at Treble Cone is saying,

I'm actually just literally teaching my friends.

They are saying that no.

They're not your friends.

You're not.

You're working.

Yeah.

So this is, could you teach your friends actually?

Well, my kids did like an hour like intro and the pizza and the fries and the pizza

and the fries.

And then they were like, can we come with you?

And then we went up to the next.

You mean at the cafeteria?

No.

Yeah.

I get the wedges.

Oh, what's the wedge?

Yeah.

Oh, that's a snowboard one where you go sideways.

Oh, yeah.

That's the wedge.

And then they just came and I was like, oh, you just do this and wait this way and that

way.

And I guess in a way I was teaching them, but I don't know.

Yeah.

But they gave you 50 bucks each, right?

For the hour.

Absolutely.

And they were like, oh, God damn right.

They did.

Yeah.

I was offering them invaluable advice.

So this might be why.

Yeah.

One hour.

What do you think it cost her a one and a half hour ski lesson at Tribal Cone?

Couple a hundred probably.

Yeah.

$240.

Yeah.

$240.

It's just everything about skiing is expensive.

Yeah.

$800 for a full day.

And a full day of group lessons.

So that's like where it's not one on one is $150.

Yeah, but lame.

No one's even watching my technique.

Yeah.

In a group.

Yeah, you're like Mother Duck.

They follow you down and the ski instructor goes backwards.

Yeah.

And I mean, I'm saying, I don't know how much is getting passed on the ski instructor.

I don't know.

And it's certainly not cheap to run a ski film.

I'm not trying to poo-poo anything.

Yeah.

But I'm just saying that's what some people are doing as an alternative is organizing

it at the base.

Yeah.

You know, down in town and being like, I'll meet you up there.

You sort out your passes and then we'll meet.

I'll do $150 an hour.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I won't give the mountain a cut.

Cashy cash.

That's just king.

Well, it's a mountain ski field.

They can do what they want.

Can they?

They make rules.

I suppose so.

So this, I've always wondered, someone told me once what the deal is because you can't

obviously own the mountain.

Yeah.

Because you can own the, it's the chairlifts they own, which give you access to the parts

of the mountain.

Right.

If you just wanted to straight out walk up, you could.

I think you don't need a pass.

Nobody's doing that though.

But it's a lot of hiking.

Yeah.

You might get two runs in a day.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's fair.

Yeah.

And you're burning quads.

Yeah.

Quads and hammies would be absolutely a hammock.

Well, I've had two ski lessons.

And thank God they were both on television so they were paid for.

Oh, no, that's a lot of money.

Are you over it?

Can I just figure it out on, you know, in situ?

Yeah.

Do you think so?

Yeah, I think so.

How hard can, how can...

And the good news is ACC will cover the outcome of that.

There you go.

Hey, we've all had an ACC from the mountains.

We've all had ACC.

We've all had.

Multiple ACC.

Multiple.

Multiple ACC.

Потомуaying.

Multiple ACC.

It's good news for our community.

Beautiful heat.

Wonderful transformation.

you see it on Facebook page.

Okay.

Exciting news.

We're excited to announce the launch

of TimTam Coconut Cream.

Oh, yeah.

So a bit of a bounty bar vibe.

Yeah, so it looks like there's a bit of a,

like a filling in the middle, which is all coconut-y.

Give it, I reckon this is a bit of me.

This sounds yum. Yeah, bit of me.

Toasted coconut cream. I've not met a TimTam

I didn't like though.

Yeah, you're actually right.

There's not a bad one, eh?

I don't really get, I don't go for him.

You know, please turn your microphone off.

I know, I just thought- TimTam's a bit much.

I don't think I've ever bought a packet of TimTam.

How does it a bit much?

If Tim's a not a bit much.

How does it a bit much?

It's too much.

What? It's not.

It's a log.

A log. It's a log of this guy.

You don't have to take the whole thing.

You don't have to take the whole pack at once.

I go one at a time.

I never like to, I always start the TimTam

with the best of intentions.

For want to make it last.

Nibble, nibble, nibble. Nibble, nibble, nibble.

And then you've done a whole packet.

And you're like, man. Yeah, dude.

Cause we found in the back of the cupboard

is a salted caramel TimTam.

Oh yeah, those are good.

And the girls said, can we open them?

I said, yes, and they opened them and had one each.

And then Shade came to have one and there was one left.

Yeah.

And I was like, who ate all the TimTams?

And the girls were like, we literally had one each.

And I just subconsciously eaten all but three.

Oh my God.

Not honestly, not an effort, not thinking about it,

not constantly being like,

oh, I shouldn't have another one.

They're just, yeah.

They were just thin and gone.

They're best in the fridge.

Like they go a little bit hard.

Oh, you're so good.

The coconut ones I could get down on, for sure.

How many, are we being stiffed in any way here?

This is bad.

But you know, like with shrink flation and stuff

is there like one least biscuit in the pack?

Cause they always try to pedal that off too

when I had a whole packet and I was like,

I think there's just less in the pack.

Yeah, they've definitely put like finally.

Smaller. Yeah, yeah, no, they haven't.

No, same, same size. Guys, dammit.

But you know, I don't know when, when they're out.

Well, they're out in Australia.

Okay. Oh my God.

Yeah, I'm already standby.

Like last month.

Okay. Yeah.

Well, yeah, this was two days ago, this post

on Arnott's TimTam New Zealand's page.

So I mean. Out of stock in Australia though,

they've obviously gone well.

Okay, well. If they're not here

cause you guys are going to Australia, right?

We're going to Melbourne in like three weeks tomorrow.

If they're not here yet, can you get some?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Cool beans.

Oh, no, no, no, no,

because then we have to line up in that meeting.

Don't line up.

Then we have to line up in the dev.

Somebody to the clear line.

Just declare sealed biscuits.

Yes, you do.

I'm not going to prison

so that you can have coconut biscuits.

You never declare sealed food?

If you get caught and you haven't declared it,

you're screwed.

Ways of time.

I mean, you don't declare sealed food.

You declare all food products.

I've got sealed biscuits.

No, no, don't worry about that.

Go pass the Sniffy Dog, you're what?

My sealed fish eggs?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, yeah.

No.

What about my sealed butterflies?

I want to bring in several moth and larvae type.

Yeah, you said it wrong.

Sorry, I've gone worse.

I forgot about your trigger word there.

Play ZM's Fletch Von Naly.

Now there is a man called Caden.

So I can only assume he grew up being a bit of a brat.

Yeah, got Naughty Boy written all over him.

Good Naughty Boy indeed.

He works for a company called Loyalty Test.

OK.

Loyalty Test, where you can hire him for $100 US dollars.

So quite a lot of money.

Yeah, what's it, $160 New Zealand?

And he will run a test against your girlfriend

to see if she would cheat.

So he won't go through with it?

He must be hot, right?

He is hot.

He will never go through with it.

He will never send an explicit photo.

But what you do is you can go on this website,

which I've just gone on, loyalty-test.com.

And you can hire these testers.

And so you can look at them.

They're all gorgeous.

There's men, women, everyone.

And, oh, God, this man's name is Light Cheese Larry.

Light Cheese isn't the plural of Light Cheese.

No, Light.

Or Light Cheese, isn't it?

It's a Light Cheese.

So you can go on.

You can pick someone and be like, yep, that's, say,

I was doing the staring.

Yeah, that's a bit of him.

Well, because you'd want to pick their type, wouldn't you?

You'd want to pick their type.

Yeah, and then they can.

There's various costs for, I'll charge

$65 US for a little chit chat.

Right.

What, and do they just slide into, like, the DMs

of whatever social?

Yeah.

OK.

A chit chat extension, which is taking it a bit further

and getting to know them and maybe chatting

for at least five days.

And then you've got the FaceTime session,

a flirty one-on-one FaceTime session

with your loyal significant other.

Call will be recorded and then sent to you.

So what they do is basically slide into your partner's DMs.

And test them.

Test them with just a little, like, hey, cutie, and what's

up, and hey, this guy who opened up about this,

a guy who works for this company, was like saying,

oh, you know, I've never been to South Africa,

and I really want to come and have a look.

And then the partner that was being tested

was like, you should totally come over.

And he was like, well, what if I booked a flight?

She'd be like, that'd be awesome.

And then just like screenshot it,

send it to the partner, and the partner was like, thank you.

It's over.

I've got enough, and then breaks up with them.

I mean, I think if you're even signing up to the service,

your relationship is probably a bit doomed, right?

Lambell.

Yeah.

It's already a real flag.

Like, there's no trust there.

Yeah.

Save yourself the money.

Yeah.

So basically, it's kind of like you

can join this company almost like an only fans.

It's up to you how far you want to go.

Right.

As a tester.

And then you advertise your services,

and then you go to put them to a test.

Would that be a fun job?

Would you like to be one of the testers?

Hell, yes.

I'm not hot enough.

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are hot enough.

Sorry.

Yes, you are hot enough.

Coming up on the show, the top six are today.

Sorry.

What?

Sorry.

Hang on.

So I just feel like that gap was like way too long.

Well, I was just going to tell everyone

I was coming up on the top six.

I would think this would be a really fun job.

I would love to do this job.

I'm great at chatting, but I'm not hot enough.

Oh, my God, you're so hot enough.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Jesus.

God.

You took a while, didn't it?

What?

I was just going to tell everybody

what the top six was, because I was still

talking about the service.

Turn your headphones up.

I didn't know that.

You didn't have your headphones quite down.

Yeah, they're in the wrong.

Because I was just saying that I'd

love to work for this testing company.

Yeah.

But I'm definitely not hot enough, eh?

OK.

So the top six.

You're not getting any compliments today from Vaughn.

God.

I had to fish for that.

You had to bottom troll for that.

Yeah, God.

No, I had just agreed.

I wasn't.

What?

I mean, I think his headphones are off.

Yeah, I think it's headphones.

You can get them and you see headphones.

Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.

Play ZM.

From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello there.

This weekend in the Farah Parma Cup.

The Farah what?

The Farah Parma Cup.

Farah Parma.

Farah Parma Cup.

Oh, gosh, Farah Parma.

Cup.

Oh, Farah Parma.

Hawks Bay to be playing Canterbury.

When you're nine, you don't say the Hawks Bay.

Like, you're going to the Hawks Bay,

so I'm going to Hawks Bay.

Yeah.

But if you're referring to that specific team,

you would say the Hawks Bay to me, right?

Yes, the Hurricanes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Auckland Blues.

OK, good.

Now, and this is quite a feat.

This is a mum and daughter, Taylor and Julie Ferguson,

mum and daughter, same team playing together.

And this is rugby.

Yeah, yeah, full-blind rugby.

Full-blind rugby, they're playing it.

Things hurt when you're that old.

Ouch.

Golden oldies.

They should move back to Ripper when you're up.

I'm just speaking as in a week over 40-year-old.

But Julie looks like she could take it.

Oh, yes, she looks like an absolute machine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So given that, you know, that is what I feel good.

Yeah.

I've got the top six things my mother and I

could do together at a national level.

Oh, great.

Quite a bit like my mother.

A little like my father, but quite a bit like my mother.

Number six on the list, Laundry.

We both run a tight laundry ship.

Yeah, yeah, you do.

I believe we compete together at a national level.

Are there laundry competitions?

I don't know.

Yeah, there will be somewhere, right?

You do too many loads, though.

No, you don't do lots of loads.

You're actually bleeding the environment dry.

No.

The only laundry competitions I can find

are like Winner Washing Machine.

Oh, OK.

You know?

Well, maybe we could compete in the laundry

to a laundry washing machine.

Is there a laundry folding competition

if you Google Laundry Folding?

One moment, please.

That's our least favorite part.

Oh, is it?

You just like the more putting it in the machine.

Yeah, getting it on the line, getting a good dry,

getting a line dry, getting it in before it rains.

Oh, you'd get points off if you didn't get the forecast, right?

Same removing competition near me.

Near me?

Oh, it's just ranking.

I simply won't travel.

Well, I'll tell you what, if you are a laundry liquid company,

that's the start of a laundry company.

And I'll tell you what, my father-in-law, Phil Cordersey,

he'll see you there.

Hey, Willie.

Oh, wow.

He will see you there.

Oh, we'll be there.

What does he do for a tomato sauce stain?

Gets rid of it, is what it does.

OK, right.

No, I just want to do that.

It's too rough on the material.

Already you're losing, man.

Yeah.

It's that sad soap that's always hanging around

in the laundry that you wash your hands with every now and then,

and you look at your hands and you're like, what is that?

That was, man, he's real clear.

Oh, fuck.

Number five on the list of the top six things my mother and I

could do at a national level together,

absolutely let someone know it's time to leave

without saying a word.

I learned.

I learned from my mother.

I said, it's a look for her.

It just gets her a certain part of the night

and she'll try to catch dad's eye when he's

in the middle of one of his stories.

Yeah.

And he'll be like, oh, well, I'll finish this one next time.

I think it's time we left.

Beautiful.

Immediately.

Artful.

It's not a wrap it up, it's let's go.

No, no, no, it's a now.

He's been well taught.

It's time to go.

You have to.

Number four on the list of the top six things my mother

and I could do together at a national level,

much like Taylor and Julie Ferguson and the Hawks Bay Tui.

Happily turned down multiple invites to socialize.

Really?

Yeah, Christine's a big, oh, no, thank you.

Not even a reason she'll just sometimes be like,

oh, no, thank you.

God.

Not even I can't because?

No, no, no, no, sometimes it's just a straight, no, thank you.

It's ruthless.

Oh, no, thank you.

It's ruthless.

Oh, no, thank you.

Number three on the list of the top six things

my mother and I could do together at a national level,

say we're full, but immediately find room

for a little bit of putt always room for putt always room

for putt.

Oh, no, thank you.

Again, I don't know if there's a pudding championships.

I I do have a cheesecake.

Putting a little bit of putt.

Putting each other.

Definitely a pudding eating.

Putting eating championships.

A pudding eating.

Well, there's one specifically just for banana pudding.

Oh, no, no, thanks.

What is a banana pudding?

Like a like a self sourcing caramelised banana.

There's not a new Zealand pudding.

Well, there you go, there you go.

Launch that.

Yeah.

I know a tour on the list of the top six things

my mother and I could do together at a national level.

Um, quietly, but but but absolutely

destructively tear someone's achievement down.

What like a very Kiwi way of bringing them back down to us.

Yeah, I just remember I were on the way home

and I said I came second in speeches

and she was driving the car.

She kind of looked at me and went second, second.

Just that.

Yeah, that you didn't win.

Did you?

So Andy's hockey team came third.

She's like shut.

I said, third's not too bad.

I said to tell you what's better, second or first.

And then afterwards, I was like, oh, I can't do that.

And I was like, you know, third's great.

Third's great.

That's great.

Oh, I feel triggered.

It's no second.

And number one on the list of the top six things

my mother and I could do at a national level together,

much like Taylor and Julie Ferguson, the Hawks Bay, two

in the para para par, but the cup this weekend, snitzel.

Oh, wow.

Good, snitty.

I haven't had your snotty.

I feel I put too much pressure on.

I'd have to have forewarning

because we're out of rice bran oil doing a panko.

You've got to, of course, thank you.

Of course.

I just wanna make sure it wasn't a crumb.

I like to flavour the crumb as well.

Oh, you're fast. Yeah, yeah.

It's a missed opportunity at the last.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Wasted.

My mum's a bit more old-school.

She doesn't flavour it as much.

But different generations.

That is today's top six.

We read this new story yesterday.

Shocked me to my core.

A man called Sean travelling around our fine country

said that he'd returned from overseas

and he was absolutely shocked about the cost of living here

in Aotearoa, New Zealand.

But he said it never hit him more

than when he saw a $14.50 sausage roll.

It would have been bougie though.

It would have been a cafe bougie.

Like, not huge.

It looks smaller than a pie.

Like, you know, you expect a gourmet pie to run it.

You could expect a $14.50 gourmet pie in places.

With something.

Like, with chips or with a decent sort of side salad

or something.

But it's got to be big.

But it's got to be a big pie.

And gourmet.

Like, it's got to have good fillings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But a sausage roll, that is not $14.50 worth of anything.

Minced up boobs.

Yeah.

Well, this cafe, which remained nameless,

did say that it is one of their bougie products.

It's made with love.

Okay.

Yeah, it's not just a bakery one, is it?

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

They're made in-house.

Right.

It has apple for sweetness, plus onions, herbs, spices,

and a mixture of sausage meat.

Mm-hmm.

It's made with love.

It comes with a deli-made relish and a garnish.

But leave the garnish.

Don't charge me for a garnish.

If the garnish is part of the expense,

I will have it left out happily.

No parsley knob on top.

Thank you.

Yeah.

If the parsley's free, I'll eat it.

But I don't want to pay for it.

Yeah.

So this is the most expensive sausage roll he's seen.

He's working around the country at the moment.

Right.

And he said he saw, was it a $6.51 on the inter-islander?

And he was like, that seems expensive.

Well, that's the inter-islander, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything's kind of checked out.

They've got you.

You're on the boat.

So yeah, he said that, you know,

it seems to be around the four or five dollar mark.

That was going to be my question,

because I'm not a sausage roll eater.

See, I love a sausage roll.

Really?

Yeah.

Especially if it's got carrot in it.

Carrot.

I don't know why I really love it.

You know, when you go to a bakery

and you just want a cheap pie or a saucy roll,

when they've got carrot in it,

it's got a sweetness to it.

Yeah, right.

Even make your own sausage roll.

And I've never made my own.

Yeah.

It's pretty easy.

It's just,

it's just getting the mix of stuff you like, and then.

Rub it in, wrap it in some pastry.

Yeah, bake that sucker.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess meat's quite expensive at the moment.

Yeah, meat.

That would be the, obviously,

the most expensive part.

And I don't know what veg was in this expensive sausage roll.

Yeah.

About $14.50.

Now, and sane.

Hang on.

Someone's written an article in the New Zealand Herald,

my news source of choice.

She's a company.

Now, this is only from a couple of years ago,

trying to search for Auckland's best sausage roll.

I'm sure there's a nationwide one.

One of them's across the road.

Why did you do that?

I've never had this.

We're across the road, down there.

No.

There.

Other way.

Really?

Yeah, I think we're getting sausage rolls.

That's how easy it was.

We'll be the judge.

Sausage rolls for breakfast.

Better have carrot in it.

Now, that's really important for me.

Over the road, that'll be, it won't be $14.50,

but it'll be $15.50.

It'll be up there.

Well, I'm not shouting.

You know, you can all pay for your individual sausage rolls.

As long as I get one,

then I'm happy.

It is so silly, silly, silly.

That's a silly little poll.

Silly little poll.

Today's Silly Little Poll is about

the Netflix cracking down on Password's situation.

After they did that, did you delete your account?

It never happened to me.

I never got that Choose Your Prime location thing.

Because your mum has your login?

Yeah, and a couple other people.

Me and Aaron share it.

And my mum and dad use it.

And I think a friend of ours uses it.

Okay.

Periodically.

I just never got that notification saying,

you know, when people had to choose their...

Yeah, Prime location.

Whereas I've heard some people, it did crack down on them,

but it's kind of loosened up a little bit.

Yeah, right.

Now, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, after it happened, did you delete your account?

Was what we asked.

16% of people said yes.

Okay.

Deleted that.

77% of people said no.

And 7% said I finally got my own account.

Oh, yes, they were the leeches.

The leeches.

I think at the moment, Netflix has the worst...

like the worst stuff, the worst content.

Yeah, it's definitely not.

There's way more stuff on other platforms,

like Disney+, Neon and Prime.

An Apple.

Yeah.

Oh, really? Is Prime pumping at the moment?

Prime's got some good stuff.

Cause I have them all, but I have friends that just go one.

Yeah.

Exhaust it.

That's a good way.

Cancel it.

Then you get another one exhausted.

Okay, well, that's coming out.

Yeah.

That one.

Especially at the moment, cause when you add them all together,

it can be a lot of money a month.

I'd pay over 100 bucks a record a month on all my subscriptions.

Whereas do what you say, just exhaust it.

Yeah, they just sit there.

Yeah.

That's a great idea.

But then you've got to have a series done by the end of the payment month.

Otherwise, you're staying on that platform another month.

Are you still watching 2002's The Shield?

I am.

I'm about to season two.

I've nearly done season two.

Nearly done season two of a 20-year-old show.

It is wild the language it was used.

Like some of the episodes, you're just like,

we wouldn't say that now.

No, we certainly wouldn't say that now.

We wouldn't act like that now.

No, we certainly wouldn't.

Danny said, we keep saying we'll get rid of it,

but then finding under the show we want to watch.

Oh yeah.

Okay.

That's what we're experiencing.

Yeah.

Somebody else said, it still works on phone and Chromecast TV,

but don't tell people that.

Oh, well, I mean, it's too late now.

That needs to be at the start of the message.

Yeah, why don't you text us and say something we can't say?

Still using my friend's account who lives in the Netherlands,

and my parents are still using my brother's account,

but it works.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Also, I saw a headline the other week about Disney Plus.

Cracking down on it.

Cracking down on this as well.

I heard that too.

Yeah.

Everyone I share my password with still has access.

It's a message that I had to set my default network connection,

but ever since everyone still had access.

Yeah, it's wet.

Do you think it's just scared enough people to sign up themselves?

Yeah, maybe it wasn't fully developed and ready to go.

So it's scared enough people,

but the other people just, yeah.

Yeah.

Didn't take no.

I'm just a bad, bad girl, you know,

I'm just a bad girl like that.

Yeah, you are.

Thinking about getting my motorcycle license.

Someone said, I had my sister's one

and she lives 100 metres over a paddock,

but she still couldn't use hers.

So I had to make my own.

So that's weird.

They live like very close to each other.

Yeah.

But that's why the system was never perfect.

Because you're technically in the same house, right?

Yeah, but someone's using it in the Netherlands and in New Zealand.

No, I haven't used Netflix in years.

Mum life.

I ain't no one got free time for that.

She says, well, endlessly scrolling Instagram.

Yeah, add up your doom scrolling timer,

but you would have had time to watch a good series.

It would have been probably a lot better for your mental health.

But it's not, though.

When you delete Netflix,

because I haven't had it for like three months,

they email, they're like, you've dumped someone

and they are not over it.

Do they see new sweetness?

You know, sometimes when you're like leaving a subscription,

you'll go cancel.

It'll be like, well, what if we gave you 10% off this month?

Yeah, they just, they just say,

here's a whole lot of shows we've got.

Oh, we've got new shows.

New shows.

Come see our shows.

Here, here, here.

But yeah, no discounts or offers.

Right.

Callie said, no, I'm still able to use my in-laws.

Don't ask me how, but it works.

And I haven't been forced to get my own account.

Libby said, we made the decision to cancel all of our subscriptions

and go back to our youth of downloading movies off Pirate Bay.

Oh, Libby.

They're probably going to be hearing this conversation.

You know, they monitor the media.

AI.

And they transcribe it and send it to there.

I mean, is there a bounty on turning in Pirates?

Because I don't know, Libby.

From a bar of soap.

I'll happily trade her for some money.

Maybe a money's worth of Netflix.

Maybe.

Well, good idea.

I'm just on Netflix looking to see if I would be ready to part,

but I've been a bit slow because I was watching so much Love Island.

Yeah.

So I've got quite a few shows to catch up on.

OK.

Right.

So you're not canceling any time soon?

No.

It's going to let hundreds burn.

Someone said, I use Plex.

If you know, you know.

Yes, I know.

I know.

We know.

Plex.

Yeah, we know.

We know.

I reckon, I don't even know when this first started,

but I reckon it would have been like 13 years ago,

maybe 12 years ago, a long time ago.

There was no better feeling than putting on a nice color of nail polish

on your nails.

Say I've chosen silver glitter.

Yeah.

I put that on and then I open up my OPI crackle nail polish

and you put a top coat on and you watch it as it crackles apart.

Now we all had crackle.

I know the girlies, you crackled.

You dabbled in the crackle.

Oh my God, I went hard for the crackle polish.

So wait, would you put it, because I just Googled crackle nail polish,

would you put a color underneath?

Yeah.

And then the top coat goes on and covers it.

Yeah.

And as it dries, it crackles.

So the crackle stuff on top was its own color.

You didn't put like a clear coat on that crackled the underneath?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You had two colors.

You had to, the crackle revealed the underneath color.

And then you'd be like, oh my God, she's got a very expensive design.

Shannon, did you crackle?

Dabbled in the crackle?

Oh, I dabbled hard.

I love it.

And like, yeah, I could go back.

Well, what is the hard version of dabbling?

Committing.

Because you said dabbling hard, but I think dabbling is always indicating a light,

a light, a light entry.

My brain thought doubled, but I don't think...

She doubled in it.

You're just going up through the vowels.

So you dabbled, then you dabbled, then you dabbled, then you doubled, then you doubled.

Double.

You doubled.

So I'm going to double because apparently it's back in fashion, guys.

So essence, which is a very, very cheap nail polish.

It'll probably last you, I reckon, two hours on the nail.

Right.

Before it chips and flakes away.

No, I won't hear a good word set about them.

Wow.

Now, they've shared on their TikTok that they've got the crackle top coat back and

people are like, this is so cool.

I think probably Gen Z is like, this is so cool because they weren't really, you know,

they were probably a bit young for the crackle.

Yeah, right.

But man, I don't even know.

I think I threw all my crackles out.

I did OPI crackle.

I feel like that was nice.

The older it is, the better it'll work now though.

It'll be more crackling.

Yeah, you barely have anything left.

But are OPI going to do a crackle?

Surely if it's back in.

They'll retaliate with a crackle.

And so I don't even know if their crackle went off the market.

It's just, it came so, it was like everyone had crackle nails and then it was just gone

and they were tacky.

And they never once like that.

But so now they're not tacky, they're back.

Well, everything that is was tacky is back.

Yeah.

That's just how it works, isn't it?

That's how fashion works.

Tacky is backy.

Yeah.

So you've got at the moment, you've got lovely fluoro orange nails.

Thank you for doing yesterday.

I love those.

They're great, eh?

So if you got some crackle, what color would you go?

Do you know what?

Orange is most complimentary color.

Blue.

Up the wires, blue.

So you'd go blue.

I screwed up my nose, but then you set up the wires.

I'm automatically on my board.

A navy blue crackle top coat over the top and you'd be like,

why is she painting blue?

And then it would go, and then I just have blue crackle

with the orange peeping out from underneath.

You could go red, like red underneath on one and then green on the next

and then white on the next and then go over with the navy blue

at crackles.

You've got the full wires.

You've got the full warriors.

Oh my God.

The full warriors.

Because I get my nails done every three weeks.

The wires still going to be.

Mate, the warriors are going all the way to the grand final this year.

Well, if they go to the grand final, you can do some crackle,

wires, nails.

I'll commit to do some wires, nails.

I'll also get crackles, wires, nails if they go to the final.

Will you?

Okay, great.

Now my lovely nail girl and friend Sophie listens to ZDM

every day, all day, actually.

I got my nails done at 5pm and she was still listening.

I was like, good for you.

But she'll be listening going, oh, we're doing wires.

Are we?

We're doing the wires.

Three weeks time.

I'm going to have some wires, nails.

Pretty excited.

Now yesterday at the gym, I was doing what's that one with the

cable tricep?

Oh, you know, you get into a bit of that.

They get into a bit of that.

Those, you know, you stand in front of it and you pull it down.

You have a clinchy little.

You clinch it.

You try.

Tucked in.

And you know what?

It's like real close to your face because you stand.

If you're doing it right, it is.

If you're doing it right, yeah, exactly.

Good boy.

I accidentally licked the cable.

So.

That's not so bad.

I thought you were going to lick the...

Is yours a rope?

Yes, it's a rope.

I thought you were going to lick the rope.

It's a rope.

I didn't even know what to do with the rope.

When I'm finished with that thing, I always wipe with the...

Who do you wipe down?

Nobody's wiping down anything anymore.

No, not so far back.

There's no pandemic.

It's over.

No.

Someone's talking to you saying it just tested positive for COVID.

It's still here.

People are dropping my flies.

No, you wipe the rope.

You wipe the rope.

You also love the...

It doesn't wear when you're holding the rope and you're giving it the stroke.

And you're holding the ball at the bottom of it and you just absolutely...

You're just stroking it.

No, it's not like you're milking a cow because I hold the top and run the hand down.

Nobody wipes the cable.

No.

So it was just...

I was really close in and I was like right near the end and I was like...

And then I just poked.

I just was like...

And I put my tongue just like...

And I licked it.

And I was like...

I was going to ask what's your tongue doing out when you're doing that.

But I get it the last ones and you're like...

And then for some reason it just licked the cable and I was like...

What did you do?

Did you drop the way?

Yeah, I was just like...

And then it's kind of like licked my shirt just to be like...

Which was probably even dirtier because you were swearing.

Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, but at least it's my own.

No, the worst thing you've licked this week.

I would dare...

What else would I licked this week?

He's a big ice cream boy.

But he loves the scoop.

But I was wondering this morning and this...

I mean maybe this is an impossible phone-in topic.

I don't know.

But have you ever accidentally licked something?

Yeah.

Have you seen that video?

Somebody just sent it to me the other day.

Some guys in his car filming himself and his mates outside the window playing silly buggers.

He's like checking his hair in the window reflection.

He's like...

And then a bird flies over and poops on the window.

Yeah.

And the guy's like...

Oh my god, I can't believe that missed.

And the guy goes...

Pretends to look at it and his mate presses the down button on the window just as he goes underneath it.

And he licks the entire bird...

Bird poo off the window.

It's wild.

Yuck.

I can't even try to think about...

Yeah, I mean maybe it's an impossible...

An existential lick.

Yeah, maybe it's an impossible phone-in topic.

I don't know.

But I just thought...

I've definitely gone to lick my food off my fingers and realise I haven't washed my hands

and there's something gross on it.

Oh my god.

Yeah, there'll be stories like that.

People that have licked their fingers.

Because you know I pick my nose.

I'm a big nose picker.

Yeah, but that's like your own boogers.

Whereas if you're out in public and you touch something and you lick your fingers and you've touched something...

Yeah, maybe you fell asleep on a park bench and you're like...

And you accidentally licked a bench.

Why are you sleeping on a park bench?

Tough times, man.

Tough times.

No furniture in my house.

Oh, okay.

I'll 800 dials an M.

I want to take some calls this morning after I accidentally licked gym equipment yesterday.

Is this the phone-in?

What did you accidentally lick?

I want to take some calls.

I'll 800 dials an M.

You can text in as well.

9696.

You can be an anonymous if you want to text in if you've accidentally...

Yeah, don't be rude either.

Lick something manky.

I've accidentally licked that, you know?

I'll 800 dials an M.

Give us a call.

What have you accidentally licked?

I love you, Rodrigo.

I can't be just going to text it.

That's really funny.

Yesterday at the gym, I accidentally licked...

I accidentally licked the cable when I was doing an exercise.

That's so yuck.

The cable doesn't see a lot of hand though.

It sees a lot of grease.

Don't they have grease on that thing?

Grease is better than other people's sweat.

Yeah, at least it wasn't the cable rope thing.

But we want to know this morning, what have you accidentally licked?

Oh, there are some great stories coming through.

These are really making me laugh.

Really making me laugh.

So good.

Let's go to Steph.

Steph, what did you accidentally lick?

Well, it wasn't so much as lick.

A few years ago, when I was working in Auckland,

we had a sort of workers night out

and we went to this nice place.

Really lovely.

Mexican calf and it's quite sort of cosy

and dimly lit and everything.

So we had our table and they bring all the food out and stuff

and nice little hors d'oeuvres and snacks.

So we're all chipping away.

And I bought a nice little bowl of Honey Roasted Peanut.

Oh, yum.

So I hooked into those.

It was actually, there was also bowls of olives

and they were people's olive pitch that they put into this.

Oh, yeah.

That is so gross.

You were sucking and licking on the olive stones.

Yeah.

I only ate one because as soon as I put it

and it was like rock hard, I'm like,

rock hard.

It's not a peanut.

Salty brownie.

Ooh.

And everyone's like nibble around them.

Yuck.

Dom, what did you accidentally lick?

Oh, hi.

I'm a chef and about 15 years ago,

I was doing a big massive function

in the middle of the garden somewhere.

And there was buckets of things for the buckets of salt

because it was 2,000 people.

There was buckets of salt, buckets of sugar.

Oh, yeah.

So I turned around and I'm like,

oh, is it the salt or sugar?

So I licked my finger, dipped it in, put it on my tongue

and it was caustic soda.

Oh, my God.

What, wait, so it wasn't salt.

It was, what, for the wash?

Acid.

Yeah.

It was caustic soda for the, yeah, for the,

I don't know why.

That should be labelled.

That should have been labelled.

Yeah.

Like, it's a harsh description, dude.

It should have been labelled.

Exactly.

Oh, my God.

You're still upset.

Was your tongue all right?

Yeah.

No.

Well, it took maybe three months to heal.

It was the most painful thing ever.

I can't tell you how painful it was.

Oh, my God.

It was horrific.

And I couldn't eat anything slightly acidic.

Oh, my God.

So as a chef, you're like stuffed?

Yeah.

Pretty much.

Oh, my God.

That's insane.

This is always, should always be labelled.

It should always be.

Oh, my God, Dom.

Everything should always be labelled.

Dom, thank you.

Some messages on what have you accidentally licked?

This is our favourite text.

I accidentally licked the dentist's finger

while I was having a check-up.

Then I went to say I was sorry,

and I was like, sorry, and I bit her.

I was so embarrassed.

All right, guys, all right.

I look at that would happen more than you think.

Full of time.

Their finger's in there, and you're just like,

oh, and the dentist is in there,

and your fingers are gagging, and you're like...

Need to swallow?

Oh, no.

And then you're going...

I've seen it all.

I was eating a block of chocolate,

and it got to the end, and I found some chocolate

on the back of my hand.

I was like, how did you get there?

And I licked it.

And as I licked it, I was like, that's not chocolate.

That had been patting their dog.

It was dog poos.

And that's beautiful ours.

There's so many.

There's some that are really like...

I think we may need a podcast special.

Oh, my God, can I read this one?

I was hanging out in town with a group of friends

including potential boyfriend in my teams,

and we were eating souvlaki's.

I looked down and saw what I thought was tzatziki

from my souvlaki on my school blazer,

and I said, oh, whoops, and I whipped it off.

Oh, it was bird poo, wasn't it?

And I licked it, and a seagull had pooed on me.

Oh, I'm good.

I'm blue.

Wait, does she like carry on and pretend it was...

No, everyone had seen the bird poo on her,

and as she was doing it and looking at it,

I was like, no, a seagull just shout out to you.

Oh, my God.

Somebody said it's disgusting.

This is a bit...

Excuse me.

Are you all right?

You know, when their children were younger,

they'd go to the supermarket,

and they'd just kind of, like,

kind of free-range the kids in the supermarket,

and they found out their two sons

would go to the meat department

and lick the chicken juice off the...

You know, when you buy a tray of chicken

and the juice somehow gets around the gladiator

in the bottom,

the kids would lick the bottom of the container,

lick the raw chicken juice,

and they'd pop it back in the...

I don't think that's an accidental lick.

That's just...

That's disgusting.

Got a lot of numbers in front of me.

We are 115 days, 16 hours,

and eight minutes away from Christmas.

That's good.

That's time to feel good.

You know it because it's September tomorrow.

And the first day of spring tomorrow.

Yeah.

Daylight savings...

Probably a pretty good time.

Well, if your frosts are done,

and the frosts are unpredictable,

because it's got cold again.

Good time to plant the Christmas spuds.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, you want to get those in the ground.

You just buy them from the supermarket.

You don't want to get the purlets.

You just shake your mouth.

Ma'am, ma'am,

respectfully,

sir or ma'am, shake it out.

Scott, he's got no time to do anything.

He's too busy.

You don't get a lecture to buy everything

in the supermarket.

Oh, yeah, you can't better

freshly-dug Christmas spud.

Yeah, they dig them up.

Cheesy Benny, baby.

Daylight savings three weeks away this Sunday.

Yes.

No, two.

Two.

Yeah, no.

Three.

That's three.

I think you said two and a half earlier in the week.

No, it's definitely three,

because I'm going to be in Melbourne.

I'm really...

The time is going to really stuff me up.

So...

What are reports of Christmas?

That's definitely starting to flow in there.

115 days away,

one news reporting,

as well,

of the penetration of Christmas.

Yes, did you...

Stay in your lane, breakfast.

Did you see them...

Someone was advertising Christmas puddings

that expire on the 25th of December?

Yeah.

That's good.

That's a great excuse to have a Christmas cake

or pud before Christmas.

Yeah.

It can just be a fruit cake, you know.

Have a hot cross bun as well,

while you're at it.

Yeah, do it, all the seasonal treats.

What are you thinking in that factory?

Like, just tick the date

over, like, two days.

Yeah, you'll be fine.

Get it done.

So, that is actually one of the reports

of Christmas.

Hannah said,

breakfast is getting in our lane.

I'll ask them to stay in their own lane.

Even though we are borrowing

Maddie McLean for the week,

so maybe we can merge lanes for a...

Oh, I did get Nick tonight to that.

I've written him a wartime love letter

and reply.

Oh, my God, it's huge.

That's for his eyes only,

from the western front.

Other reports of Christmas are Rod.

See, we mentioned that one news mentioned

they were selling advent calendars.

Yeah.

That was their report.

These other advent calendar news as well.

Rod sent to me the toy world mailer

that he just got saying the early Christmas

toy sale is on now.

16 weeks to go.

Okay.

Yeah.

Jessica reports the sighting of caramel

baubles.

What?

Baubles, of course.

Synonymous with Christmas.

Caramel.

Yes, caramel baubles.

Let me get a little closer.

Wait, what?

You eat them or they go on the tree.

Creamy caramelised white chocolate baubles.

Yeah, they're wrapped.

You can hang them.

In New Zealand.

Oh, I don't know where Jessica's report came from.

It looks like a New Zealand shelf.

My word.

What's in the food market?

I can't wait to get a Christmas tree.

You're getting your first tree?

My first Christmas tree.

Yeah.

Another report from Tracy of a family block Christmas cake.

Now, this is best before the 22nd of September.

Fantastic.

She got three weeks to eat that Christmas cake

months before Christmas.

Yeah.

But she said it says Christmas on it,

so this definitely counts.

Ally has reported Smigel having 20% off their advent calendars.

Okay.

I've never had a Smigel advent calendar.

Do you think it's Smigel products?

What do you open like, yeah, three days before Christmas,

you get a pencil or something?

Yeah.

I mean, that's cool.

That's awesome.

Oh, man.

That's good.

Just, you know, keep people.

I want chocolate.

Yeah.

Can I also tip of the hat?

Wilson.

You know Wilson every year.

Wilson every year.

It's the only part of the show that Wilson truly loves.

I think he participates in the long weekend group,

too.

He does.

He has.

He just had in the long weekend group, too.

Before he said, I was in Countdown Green Lane

and beside the little fridge that holds the little,

the little coax and such.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

There was a big stack of advent calendars.

The Cadbury advent calendars, too.

Oh, yeah.

You know, one of your higher level advent calendars.

Those junky Australian.

Yeah.

Yucky half chocolate calendars that are always around.

Yeah.

But official Santa Canterbury.

Canterbury.

Cadbury Christmas advent calendar.

So with all that in mind and 115 days away from Christmas.

Oh, get busy.

Right now, Christmas penetration is at...

9%.

Holy.

Oh.

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Ooh.

So we're on ZM, Fleece Vaughn and Hailey yesterday.

Maya picking up the double pass to see Taylor Swift live.

Hey, Maya.

Yes.

You're off to see Taylor Swift live in Sydney.

Oh, thank you so much.

You've got to be listening for those next tickets

at the next Taylor Swift song at midday

and four to win the tickets to see her live.

Okay, another announcement.

God, we're full of them.

Are we ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

Well, we can finally announce...

Ooh.

We've been...

We have known this lineup for how long now?

Yeah.

Months?

Cogs were turning. Cogs were turning.

Parts were clicking in.

Announce time.

So excited to announce...

We were going to launch, but then it was cloudy.

Yeah.

It's very much like a rocket, isn't it?

Oh, hell it is.

Yeah.

It is.

Now, ZM presents Friday's live.

This will be on a Thursday.

And this year, November 16th,

Spark Arena.

I love Spark Arena.

So you want to...

And not just because the staff are very nice to us,

in particular.

But they...

Oh, my God, we get looked after.

We get looked after, but very good venue.

This will sell out.

Yes.

Because this is...

an incredible lineup.

Yeah.

This is an incredible lineup.

Tickets will go on sale on September the 12th.

Last year was so much fun.

Macklemore was the highlight.

Absolutely right.

One of the best nights out of my...

Yeah.

On my year last year.

Let's find out who is playing at Friday's live.

Returning to our stage for the second time.

It's Mr. Savage Love himself.

Ah!

Jason Derulo.

Ah!

He's back.

Ah!

He loves New Zealand.

I like him.

He loves New Zealand like it is.

Pumping iron.

Yeah, that's a lot.

He has his spies, his tries, and his...

What's that?

Lats and his squats.

The crowd's all going to be doing the dance to their...

Yeah, 100%.

He is headlining Friday's live.

Jason Derulo.

Okay, I'm excited about this one.

Most excited about this one.

Ladies and those boots with the fur.

It's Flowrider.

Oh, my God.

Now, do you know it was you who told me that Flowrider means Florida?

It means Florida, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it was only a few years ago that I also just...

The rest of us kind of worked it out immediately when we saw it written down for the first time.

Flowrider is absolutely iconic.

So many songs.

So many bangers.

Whoo!

Send her a text via Excel spreadsheet.

It's Kelly Rowland.

Yes, Kelly Rowland at Friday's live.

That's right, she sent the text.

The Excel spreadsheet.

In the Nali and Kelly video.

In dilemma.

The dilemma, yeah.

The dilemma was he's not getting your messages

because you keep typing them on her blackberry in Excel.

Yeah.

So many bangers.

So you kind of forget how many songs in the 2000s she was a part of.

She's incredible.

Kelly Rowland at Friday's live.

Did you ever think you'd get to see Boys to Men?

Never in my life.

No.

So good.

I reckon there's going to be a lot of phone tortures.

Yes.

And a lot of big tears.

Big singalongs.

These will be big slow dancing.

Slow dancing, yeah.

Can we have a slow dance?

Yeah.

Slow dancing in courage.

Find a lover and have a slow dance.

Find a lover.

Bring a lover.

Find a lover.

Oh no.

Get out right now.

Oh yeah.

It's JoJo.

Yes.

JoJo is coming to New Zealand.

I think this will be her first ever show in New Zealand.

I think so, yes.

It feels like, because JoJo is like my age,

but it feels like she's been around for so long

because she was so young when that song came out.

Yeah, she was 13, 14 when Leave Get Out.

Yeah.

This is going to be so good.

He's got to be a billionaire by now.

You'd hope so.

Travis McCoy.

Okay.

This is a blaster in the past.

I know, mate.

Jim Class Heroes.

Travis McCoy.

Yeah.

And I think we met him like 10 years ago,

and he's pretty tall.

Dude, it's way longer than 10 years ago.

Don't make yourself feel all.

We've been working here for 10 years.

Oh my God.

It was like 2006.

Oh my God, was it?

Yes.

But if it feels like 10 years ago,

granted.

We've been working here for 10 years.

Oh my God.

It was like 2006.

Oh my God, was it?

Yes.

But if it feels like 10 years ago,

granted.

I think it's time we got you to bet.

It does.

He's so tall, too.

He is.

So beautiful.

And talented.

Rounding out the lineup.

Baby Bash.

Havana Brown.

And hosted by the one and only...

Fat Man Scary.

Well, that is the lineup.

Woo-hoo.

Friday's live, and to reiterate,

it's the 16th of November.

It's a Thursday at Spark Arena.

And now with that lineup,

as I said before,

it's going to sell out.

And with that lineup,

I reckon it's worth a day off work on Friday.

I think we will need a day off work on Friday.

Can we talk to...

Ross Boss?

I was going to say the Prime Minister

about making that a public holiday.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

We'll have a word.

So, Jason Derulo, headlining,

Boys to Men,

Flow Rider,

Kelly Rowland,

Jojo,

Travis McCoy,

Baby Bash,

and more.

Now, tickets on sale,

11 a.m. September 12th.

Someone just messaged saying,

yes, I'm not pregnant this year.

Last year, I was so sad.

You can go to ZDM Online

for all the details.

ZDM, and on our Facebook and Instagram,

we'll have another chance

for you to win tickets.

Comment to win.

We do have the first double pass

to Friday's live,

which is happening in November.

If you would like to win that,

first call us through,

right now gets it.

Billboard.

I'll wait a hundred.

Dial ZDM.

And, plus, tomorrow on the show,

we're going to speak to Jojo.

No biggie.

Leave, get out.

Jojo.

Get out.

Right now.

On the show tomorrow.

I just yelled Billboard

because the line-up was already

on the Billboard outside our window.

There you go.

We're not mucking around, mate.

She's quick.

Play it.

ZDM's Fletchboard and Haley.

Chase, congratulations.

First call of through.

First tickets to Friday's live.

Woo-hoo.

Yes.

Thank you so much.

Nice to see you there.

Who on the line-up are you looking

forward to the most?

Oh, one of it's Boyz II Men

or Jason Derulo or Trevi.

I mean, do you take Mum to Boyz II Men

or the Mrs. Trevi McCoy and Jason Derulo?

I'm going to keep Mum.

This is the hell away from Trevi McCoy.

I take Mum for Boyz II Men.

I take Mum because, yeah,

there's less chance of, yeah,

I enjoy all the details.

ZDM online and second chances as well

to win ZDM online on Instagram

and Facebook.

Project Swifty.

Oh, and it's Haley's version.

Of course.

Oh, my God, you guys.

Niza, you have been tasked

with writing a Haley's version.

I have been.

It's been a real hot minute.

But the girlies tasked me with this.

And do you know what?

It kind of had a double effect on me

because not only did I have to run through

all of her eras and learn about them.

And now I feel like I know quite a lot as a Swifty.

But also I had to listen to almost

every Taylor Swift song to find

our song that I could sing.

I was like, oh, I'll sing this one.

And then she's like, I was like, OK, no,

can't reach that note.

What about that?

Oh, this one's easy.

I was like, oh, no, so I can't do that.

Literally, there was one song

that I could sing.

And so you're going to change

the lyrics to the song to encompass

all of her eras.

All of her eras, of which there are a number.

So let's just get into it.

I don't know how you do this, by the way.

Every time you do a Halley's version,

it's never prerecorded.

You always do it live.

I know.

You read the words from your screen.

Sharon's been saying all morning,

what are we using for the background?

What's happening?

Can you send it to me?

And you're like, yep.

And then like 15 minutes ago,

you were like, ta-da-da, singing to yourself.

I was like, oh, you're just finishing touches.

Yeah, so how's this going to go?

Well, because I'm writing a song about an artist

who has made so many albums.

I couldn't leave any of them out.

All the Swifties would have rioted.

So here's my version of, look what you made me do.

The only Taylor Swift song I can sing.

And this is me recounting all of her eras.

Thanks to the Swifties who gave me

this seminar on the eras.

Buckle in.

Blonde girl with a country flair

And lots of curly hair

Debut is on the air

And it's fine, if you like a Christian vibe

Then her next album it hits

While she's dating Joe Jonas

That album was fearless

And she won for best album

But then Kanye West showed her up at the VMAs

He thought Beyonce was better

And so he stormed the stage

And we can all never forget the look on Taylor's face

When he said, I'mma let you finish, Tay

Oh, ooh, you hear the audience boo

Like what did he just do?

Like what the hell is effin' Kanye West actually up to?

You need to calm down, dude

Yes, single ladies ruled

But so was Taylor's video love story was good too

Then next came Speake

Now this third, I don't know this one that well

But she wrote it all herself

And it called John Mayer out what?

Cause I hear he was inappropriate, giving her age

So she broke up with him and put her feelings on a page

Ten years on she'll write about him again

Cause nothing sparks a Taylor hit like disappointing men

And then we move on to an album that I actually know

One of the tracks on rent went viral due to screaming goats

And now Jake Gyllenhaal inspired all the songs she wrote

Jake, you were never ever getting back together, bro

Hi, her next era is fine

It's 1989, which makes me realize that we were born at the same time

But where are her frown lines?

Cause you can see all mine

She probably wears sunscreen and drinks far less fizzy wine

Suddenly there is a reptile on stage

It's Carmen Kanye West called Taylor Swift on Snake

Reputation also was the last for Scooter Braun

And from what I know, we don't like Scooter Braun

No, finally she parted ways with that awful dude

And the next era looks like a unicorn spewed

Every era sadly got nipped in the bud

Cause COVID-19 really effed things up

We're getting through these eras

This is the iconic moment of the song

I'm sorry, Hailey can't come to the phone right now

Why? Cause she has to write a song in a night

Oh ooh, there's two more to get through

There's three more we could do

Three more eras that I have to cover in this tune

And folklore is just one

With hits on Cardi Gun

And then released evermore

Which was its sister album

The last era is here

It was released last year

The midnight era hits we always play them all on air

And now she's on tour

So listen 8 and 12 and 4

Because her ticket sold out

But ZM still has more

Oh my god

There was no like repeating chorus

Highlight what you have written down

And word count that for me

The information that you just got across in that time was

Outstanding

Not a single mistake

There was a little trippy up there

That's right

Little trippy up is not a mistake

Holds, word count

I have just given you

500 words

On Taylor Swift eras

None of them are missing out

Girls, do they miss any?

Four marks?

Should she get four marks?

Like a thousand out of a hundred

I could cry

I'm so proud

And now I know it all

And I also know that Taylor Swift has

A higher singing range than me

And that's the oldest song I can say

Does that make Haley a Swifty now, officially?

Yeah, I say it does

You've done so good

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Haley

Fact of the day

Day day day day

Day day day day day

Day day day day

Day day day

Welcome to Windweek

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It's short week, but it's Windweek