ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 2nd October 2023

NZME 10/1/23 - Episode Page - 1h 16m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

I was crossing the street when I met the love of my life.

I chased after her.

Nothing would stand in my way.

Not the dog walker, nor the hot dog vendor.

Finally reaching her, I asked,

what do you call that amazing smell?

It's Gain Flings.

Gain Flings.

My love had a name, but more importantly, it had a scent.

Fall in love with Gain Flings.

Seriously good scent.

Try Gain Flings today with special savings at Family Dollar.

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Fleshbone and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Mac's rewards.

Hello, everybody.

Good morning. Happy Monday.

Can I just start the day by saying a big thank you

to all the ZM listeners who came to my Christchurch show.

Now, there is a moment in the show

where I have a sort of mythological child.

Yeah.

It grows up, it becomes a teenager,

and I tell it to be home by nine o'clock.

And every night I don't try to think of a name.

I just think of the name.

The early show, 6 p.m., the name that came out

with my kid was Vaughn.

Yeah, somebody messaged me.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I don't know where it came from.

I said, oh, hey, Vaughn.

And it was Vaughn.

Yeah.

And they were tickled by that.

Oh, I wasn't insulted.

No, it's high praise.

Yeah, high praise.

To be on top of mind.

I'd name my kid Vaughn quite happily.

Hmm, the spelling.

A lot of people can't spell it.

No, I do VORM.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just for ease.

Fees.

Yeah.

For them growing up, the G and the H out of it.

Yeah.

Those two As confuses people.

That's a lot.

You're the second A, you're like, huh?

Where'd you come from?

Cash Catch Up continues on the show this week

and throughout the day.

So we do Cash Catch Up eight o'clock midday

and then at four o'clock.

So if you want to win some cash,

I think it's the last week.

Is it the last week?

Last week of Cash Catch Up.

Is it?

Last week, so.

I enjoy it so much.

Make sure you're listening at eight

for your next chance to play.

The top six is on the way.

Yes, MAFs is back.

New Zealand MAFs.

Over the weekend.

No one's more excited than Vaughn.

Yeah, you know I love MAFs.

Me and then you are not so much Fletch.

No.

So we're Vaughn's bell.

Oh, we have to ding it every time we say that acronym.

Married at first sight, New Zealand.

For season two or three?

No, they've done, I know they've done two.

Only Angel and Brett remained.

Well, they aren't home in a way.

Who about Steven Kelly?

Are they still together?

Steven Kelly.

Yeah, they've definitely won.

Well, from the New Zealand one.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't think so.

What about Russell and Hobbs?

Yeah, right.

What about Fisher and Pichle?

Yeah, oh, there was Black and Decker

in the second season as well.

What about Sachi and also Sachi?

They were related.

That was yuck.

It was weird yuck.

That was really yuck.

Oh, well, I've got the top six predictions

for the next season of New Zealand.

Married at first sight.

All right, it's coming up.

Next on the show, though.

A quarter of us set off with the best intentions

for a journey to health.

Oh, it's Monday.

It's Monday.

How many people are starting their Monday journey

to health?

Me?

Oh, really?

But something is bound to derailer.

I'll tell you what that is next.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I feel like also embarrassing just outside our building

is a big billboard.

Run by our company.

And it's time to restart to maintain your device.

I do love when you said digital billboard.

And these are like a Windows era update thing pop up.

Shame.

Now, look, October.

I feel like October is always the time

when people are cranking up, getting ready for summer.

Right?

Like it's warming.

And the gym gets so busy now.

People are like, oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Going to the beach soon.

I left it a little late.

And now I'm off to the beach.

And, you know, being a Monday, everyone's like, right,

I'm starting now.

You were just saying your friends.

Well, my temporary roommate, our friend, James,

he said he's on a journey to health.

But I said, well, are you going to come to the gym

tomorrow with me?

He said, no, I'll start Tuesday.

I want to sleep in tomorrow.

Yeah, I had the same conversation yesterday.

I said to Aaron, right, and he just sort, you know,

crank it out.

I'm feeling a bit rough.

I want to, you know, crank it up a level.

And then he was like, right.

And I went to the supermarket and I got chicken

and salad ingredients.

And then we sat there and had lemon drop martinis.

And I said, should we go to the pub?

I said, OK, right.

Yeah.

Starting today.

Anyway, there was a.

Why can't he just go later in the day?

He needs to sleep.

And your mate, James, what is in his bedroom?

Well, I don't know.

He just, once he goes to work, he doesn't gym after.

He's a morning gym or no gym.

Right.

Yeah, got to get it done or it's gone.

Well, there was a study out of King's College in London

that looked at the impacts of snacking.

Oh, OK.

And they found that 95% of a snack,

which snacking they equate to eating a meal that's not

breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

So that could be put.

Yep.

It could be morning tea, afternoon tea, little snack.

Something from the vending machine.

Yeah, a couple of cookies.

Yeah.

But snacking, even though these are supposed

to be the little peppered meals,

are equating to 25% of our calorie intake.

Oh, wow.

Meaning that our snacks are really high in calories.

Is that your first time reading that word?

Calorie.

I believe that called calorie.

Calorie intake.

Which is meaning that our snacks

are supposed to be little top-me-ups too high in calories.

And it's absolutely derailing, at least a quarter

of people's, like, healthy eating.

Because when did people, like, actually start, like,

hard-out snacking?

You know, like, back in the days, it was just three meals,

eh?

Like, yeah, yeah.

Well, I ate morning tea and afternoon tea as a kid, as you

know.

Are you talking more historically?

Yeah, more historically, like, as humans.

Well, there was never, like, a surplus of food.

I think snacking wasn't just, snacking was a meal, because.

Like, you might have an apple or something,

but, like, snack food has kind of become a thing, what,

since, like, the 50s or 60s?

Yeah, probably.

Yeah.

Like, you're talking, like, really, like, purposely

produced food.

100%, yeah.

Cupcakes and crumbits were a long way off.

There is some evidence that humans, at that time period,

were eating starchy, cereal-based snack a long time ago.

That's when we started feasting on grains.

It's like a biscuit, like a bicky and a tea or something

like that.

Yeah, but you can't have a couple with that a bicky.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Gotta have a little bicky.

Well, bickies aren't on this list,

but they were saying that the snacks

accounting for the greatest caloric contributions, cakes

and pies, breakfast cereals, ice cream and frozen dairy

desserts, donuts and pastries, candy, cookies and brownies,

there's your bicky, and nuts and seeds.

OK.

Nuts and seeds came in.

Because they're very high in calories, aren't they?

America and snacks, I've found a timeline.

OK.

1900s and 1904 at the St. Louis World Fair,

yeah, which is quite a famous World Fair, cotton candy,

hamburgers, hot dogs and waffle cones for ice cream

were introduced.

So it was almost like America was like the eyes are on us.

We've got to have things, and that's kind of the start of it.

So they're saying a hot dog's a snack, not a meal.

The Oreo was introduced in 1912.

Really?

Yep.

Were they vegan then?

Oreos, I'm not, I, that's one of the coolest things right

about them, is it there?

Tasty bacon.

Company began to sell tasty cakes that individually wrap

chocolate, that revolutionized on the go snacking.

Snacking began to flourish during the jazz age

when legendary sweet snacks such as Nestle, drumsticks,

Butterfinger, Mike and Ike, Heathbars, Reese's Peta Butter

Cups, Mr. Goodbar and Ohenry appeared on the market,

so that's the 20s.

Wow.

Then in the 30s, here come the chips.

Oh, OK, here we go.

Potato chips, corn chips, Ritz Crackers

were introduced during the Great Depression

because they were a way of getting more bang

for your bucket of potatoes.

Oh, yeah.

At the same time, Girl Scout Cookie, all the fundraisers

became so popular that they had outsourced cookie production

to commercial bakers.

They used to make their own biscuits.

Oh, they used to make their own.

These chips and bickies in the 30s.

Yum.

What had a popular, the biggest impact on the snacking

industry in trends of the decade was the US involvement

in World War II in the 40s, popular and practical

additions to soldiers, ration kits,

or Tootsie Rolls, M&Ms, and other heat resistant chocolate.

Tootsie Rolls.

After the war, new products appeared on the market,

such as Smarties, Almond Joys, and Cheetos.

Cheetos were around in the 40s.

That's wild.

They feel very 1980s, don't they?

It's too orange.

50s.

You want to give yourself a way on a trench

with Cheeto dust all on your fingers?

Yeah, when you're like the glow.

Licking the dust off before you picked up your gun.

Be quiet, be quiet.

50s, 60s, and 70s of the booming economy of America

began to see the rise of fast food franchises.

Look, it's been around for a while.

Has been snacking.

Your Pringles, your Doritos, your Lucky Charms,

your Pop-Tarts, join the-

What you're doing, Vaughn, is you're making me hungry.

Yeah, this is derelict solid good stuff.

And derailing my JTH.

Yeah.

Well, good luck.

I'm going to blame America.

Yeah.

It feels easy to blame America.

It feels like their fault.

Let's do that.

It's not your fault, it's America's.

Yeah, bloody Al America.

Play Zerim's Fletch, Vaughn, and Haley.

Fletch, Vaughn, Haley, silly little poll, silly little poll.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poll,

silly little poll, silly little poll, silly little poll,

silly little poll.

Today's silly little poll.

Should you text before calling?

Like texting someone and say, hey, are you good to take a call?

This sounds like a younger generation thing,

doesn't it, versus older, do you think?

Yeah, I feel like younger people are anti on the phone call.

They'd rather do voice memos and messages.

Voice memos, good.

Voice memos do roll.

Love that.

But sometimes when it goes back and forth

so you're like, we should just have a phone call.

Have a good conversation.

And you're going to have like group audio calls, aren't you?

Yeah, you can, yeah.

I appreciate a text if it's going to be a long call.

I had like a good girlfriend catch up the other day.

Oh, yeah.

And she was like, hey, are you free for a call?

And I was like, yeah, great.

And then ended up being like an hour.

So I always say that's bad news.

Hey, can we give you a call?

No, I don't give you a call.

Yeah, yeah, hey, can I give you a call?

It's bad news.

Well, let's call for a goss.

Yeah, yeah, free for a catch up.

Yeah, oh, yeah, I think you'd rather have a goss.

Don't just call me out of the blue

and then keep me on the phone for now.

I'll be down for some goss.

Yeah.

Oh, you've got to call away.

Yeah.

Should you text before calling?

Of course, 37%.

No, it's fine to just call 63%.

It's quite a lot.

Depends who says Brian.

Mum, sister, hubby, I'm just calling anyone else.

I'll text first unless it's very urgent.

OK, yeah, fair call.

Rebecca said, I can't text.

That's why I'm calling.

Duh.

OK.

Duh.

It might be driving.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I do that sometimes.

Chris, I say, nah, it's fine, but they don't answer.

But if they don't answer, send them a note telling them

why you called.

So he's like, call, they don't answer,

then you send them a note.

Yeah.

But then sometimes when you call people,

they're surprised that you called them, eh?

They're like, hello?

Hello?

What do you want?

I'm just calling because it's easier than sending

a million messages.

It's like this to tell you.

Yeah.

Samantha, I'm just going to ignore the call

if you didn't text first.

Oh, really?

Even from a close friend?

She's absolutely not going to talk to you.

I always know when Vaughn calls, it's good, Goss.

It's going to be good.

Otherwise, it's voice notes or messages.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know it's great, Goss, when he's video calling the group

and you're like, oh.

Yes, you're like, he's got something good.

There's something happening.

Pull me a glass of wine.

It's modern day David Hartnell, I'll say.

He's bloody.

My lips are sealed.

Unless the person you're calling has a newborn, just call.

So there you go.

That's somebody else you're like.

They might have the white noise.

Yeah, they could be dealing with the baby.

But then that's on you.

If you don't want to be called, you've

got to have your phone or do not serve.

Oh, I mean, that's on you for having a kid.

And that too.

Both.

Both are things you've got to deal with.

Sarah says, because I need to be prepared.

So text me first, but don't make sure it's not

in an ominous way.

Yeah, I'll panic.

Grumpy Lisa.

Oh, Grumpy Lisa's message.

Grumpy, she actually says Grumpy Lisa repotting for Judy.

She's made a typo there.

She should be so angry herself.

That or her roots have reached the bottom of the pot.

So she is indeed getting repotted.

I don't answer the phone unless I know who it is.

My kids will text me to see if I'm at work and call if I'm not.

So yeah, text before calling.

And I feel like that wasn't even that grumpy.

So calm your tits.

That's what she said.

She grumped it up at the end.

It wasn't until she told us the calm that tits.

Yeah, nice.

Thank you, Grumpy Lisa.

Don't bother calling Grumpy Lisa if she doesn't know who you are.

No.

Because she ain't bloody answering.

And if she's at work, you bloody kids.

Would be her loss if someone's calling to say she's won a prize.

She'll be so grumpy when she finds out

that she could have won a prize, but then she didn't win a prize.

So there you go.

Silly little pole, done.

623, next on the show.

The rule of 12.

I'm going to teach us this.

It's from a psychiatrist to help us stay calm.

In these troubling times.

You tell me to stay calm.

Calm down.

Relax.

Play it.

Get him splashed for an ailey.

There is a psychologist.

No, psychiatrist.

I beg your pardon.

Can't remember the difference.

What's the difference?

One medecates and one does something else.

Talks.

I've seen them all.

Psychology versus psychiatry.

Psychologists talk.

I like that we Google things as we're doing.

Psychiatrists has studied medicine first,

then gone into a further four years of study

and works with mental and the psychologists

only use therapies based on talking or doing things.

Whereas psychiatrists sometimes use medication

to help in treatment.

Yeah, so they can't medicate because they're not doctors,

psychologists, psychiatrists.

This guy's a psychiatrist who also talks.

He has shared online the rule of 12

that he gives to every single patient of his.

It's a way for them to basically accept that shit happens.

Yeah.

And we can't always react to it.

So he employs the rule of 12

that he kind of developed himself when he went on holiday.

Now holidays with family's got a big family.

Stressful.

And he was like, I'm gonna get grumpy.

I know I've got a bit of a temper.

I know that I've got a short temper.

I've got a short fuse.

I don't have a lot of patience.

I don't want to blow up.

So the rule of 12 is that 12 things can go wrong.

And on the 13th, you're allowed to react to it.

That's a little, you're waiting a long time.

Well, here's the point, right?

I want to pop off now.

I want to pop off at four.

Yeah.

Does it reset though at the end of the day?

Yeah, it's literally for an event.

So like a moment or like a, okay, we're moving.

So for example, producer Jared,

he moved this weekend and came into work

and told us no arguments.

Wow.

Unheard of.

Absolutely unheard of.

One of the first 11,

they're reset in the billboard for the people who've been

on the show for a while.

Oh, thank God, thank God.

Playlist 01.

That's the user.

Oh, look, it's on the huge desktop.

Imagine if it logged onto the desktop

and there was something inappropriate

linked on the desktop.

Screenshots and whatnot.

Or a folder called recipes.

And then that got put up on the big screen.

Anyway, one of the person that sets you off the 12th time

had nothing to do with the first 11.

It doesn't matter.

It's the 13th time.

So that's when you scream at them.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

You would have screamed at the first person

or the third person or the fourth person,

but you've actually just delayed it so much

because he writes it down.

So you go, one number one.

Fletch.

What did I do?

Did this.

Fletch.

That's what I'm saying.

That's unfair.

Number two.

Vaughn farted.

Number three.

This is us on a trip together.

Number three.

Fletch and I are sharing a room.

Unexpected.

Number four.

Right.

And then we get to 12 and I'm like, one more

and I'm out.

Number 13.

I pop off.

But usually people find by writing it down

and just going.

It's kind of got it away.

It's got it off your chest.

Yeah.

And you don't even get to 13.

Right.

Cause you're just like, you'd go off the flow.

By the time it gets to eight,

you might look back at one and you'd be like,

actually that wasn't a big deal.

Actually that wasn't even a huge thing.

And old me would have popped off at one,

but now reflecting back on it

and I've gotten all the way to eight without popping off,

feel a bit stronger.

Yeah, but there would be people listening now

that work with people that by the time

they get to not even 10 o'clock,

they're probably up to number 15.

Six.

Yeah, totally.

They're like, how am I going to get here?

How am I going to get through this day?

Yeah, what happens after 13?

You pop off.

You're allowed to pop off at 14, 15, 16.

And then you start again or do you start again?

You probably have to restart.

Back to one, yeah.

No, I think you just pop off for the rest of the day.

And then research at the end of the day, right?

Yeah.

Imagine dealing with someone who calmly dealt

with 12 mistakes and then 13 just popped off.

Or what's worse is you work with this person

and you see them opening their notes.

Yeah, you say something.

And they're like, okay, are you able to do that now

because I'm a little bit behind?

Sure, I can do that.

And then you're number 10 and you're like,

how do we get to 10 already?

Yeah, how are we at 10?

Steve being very demanding.

It's 9.30, he's already at 10.

Everyone, just stay away.

He must have had a hell of a drive to work.

Play ZM's Fletch for the Nailie.

Play ZM.

I think I abide by this new trend of the treaties.

Now I'm saying treaty is not a signed document

in which two parties agree to something.

Well, agree, I'll put that in quotations

but let's not get political into it.

These are nice blankets and muskets though.

The finest wool.

Just sign here.

Now I'm talking about treats as in like a little snack,

a little sweetie, a little something that makes you feel good

when you have achieved something in the day.

So it doesn't even need to be food,

just a treat for yourself.

So there's a few examples, people saying,

the one I just watched is a girl who has like chronic illness

and anytime she goes to an appointment,

she gets a little treat.

She didn't cry during the appointment,

she gets two treats.

Now there's a woman who goes to a lot of appointments

and I'm like, yeah, I get it, man.

If you're gonna do something in your day

that is like not delightful to you,

get a little treat when you get through it.

But then everyone else is jumping on board,

they're like, got up, get a little treat.

I was gonna say, be at work for a quarter of an hour.

That's a little treat.

Well, you've been at work for nearly an hour.

That's four treats.

That's what I've been doing.

I've been getting to seven o'clock

and being like, should we get coffees?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

A little scone treat.

Yeah, I know.

But I do this, I do this, I don't know why.

Sometimes I will like finish breakfast

and be like, no, just a little treat.

Because you finish breakfast.

Yeah, because I always have dessert after each meal.

So dinner dessert, lunch dessert, breakfast dessert.

Little treats.

Do you guys do this?

You treat yourself?

I guess.

You do something?

Because you do a lot of bloody manual labor warning.

I mean, a little treat.

Well, that's how I just justify drinking, I think.

Yeah, well, it doesn't have to be a little sweet treat.

It can be a little drinky poo.

I was like, yeah, I did that.

So yeah, yeah.

You might have a drink.

You're giving yourself an incentive, isn't it?

Yeah, exactly.

Or, I know that producer, Jared,

every now and then he'll finish a difficult task

and then he pops out for a little vape.

Thank you, Jared.

A little vape reward.

A little vape treat.

I don't know if that's a reward, is it?

For me, it is.

You take what you get.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

It's just a little something to be like.

That's nice.

Treaties.

Little treaties.

Treaties.

Play ZM's Fletch One in Haley.

From the self-driving ZM Think Tank,

this is the top six.

Married at first sight.

Okay, so I can't remember

because it was pre-pandemic and I think I just stopped.

Just stopped learning?

I think it was at the start of the pandemic,

I just kind of purged anything in my brain

that wasn't essential for day-to-day living.

But Brett and Angel were from the first season

and married at first sight.

Haley, as you said before.

And I followed them both.

On the Grams.

So they're still together?

Yeah, man, they got married, they're a baby.

They got a baby.

Oh, no, they didn't get married

because the New Zealand one,

they actually legally get married.

Whereas in the Australian one,

I don't think they do.

Right.

They have a ceremony, but they don't do it by law,

but the New Zealand one caused a lot of controversy

by making it legal.

By actually making them.

Yeah.

All right, well, I'm on shortaudition.tv

slash copy underscore maths NZ.

Married at first sight as New Zealand is back,

but this time with a brand new spin.

Oh, we're looking for that.

We're looking for brave singles to take the plunge

if you're aged 25 plus and genuinely looking for love.

Then apply today in order to continue to the next step,

please read and approve the terms of use.

I don't need to read that.

I'll just click yes.

Am I my name, my birth, my gender, my pronouns,

all of this jazz, some questions.

Oh, I got to fill out the form before I can get

to the next stage.

So that's not me.

Do you want to be Instagram famous?

Do you want to be famous?

That kind of stuff.

Top six predictions I have for the next season

of NZ Maths, number six on the list.

No one's mental health is going to be in a better state

at the end of the show than it was at the start.

Yeah, safe to say.

No ones.

No.

No ones.

Number five on the list of the top six predictions

I have for the next season of New Zealand Maths.

Someone's going to be set up

with someone they've already slept with.

Yeah.

It's very possible.

It's a small country.

Maybe.

What's, you know, like in New York, how they work it out,

like per square meter, how many rats there are.

Yeah.

In New Zealand, it's per square meter,

how many people you've already slept with.

Sexual relations that you've already had.

Yeah.

Number four on the list of the top six predictions

I have for the next season of Maths.

Someone's really only there,

thinking it's going to kickstart their careers

as an influencer.

Yeah.

More than one.

There'll be more than one.

Number three on the list of the top six predictions

I have for the next season of Maths.

The experts won't do an expert job

of putting the right people together.

I feel it's more TV producers putting together

explosive couplings.

Yeah.

Number two on the list of my top six predictions

for the next season of New Zealand Maths.

Someone's dad's face at the wedding

is really going to say where did I go wrong

without actually saying where did I go wrong.

But the face says it all.

Yeah.

And number one on the list of the top six predictions

I have for the next season of Maths.

Coming back to TV next year,

the person that comes out of the show looking the best

will be the person that said the least

during the filming of the show.

Yeah.

That's normally what happens when you're on TV rules.

If you want to come out, look at them the best.

Say the least.

That is the day's top six.

Play Zerim's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

Now apparently, according to this Staudet,

two in three.

No, that's not it.

Two thirds.

You're private.

Two out of three.

Two thirds.

Your private school education really shows through again.

Two in three.

Yeah.

Two thirds of people, in particular millennials,

can't unplug from work.

They said there's too many distractions.

They've got their phone, they've got their emails.

They can't go home and just like switch.

Oh, you've just got to do it.

You've just got to, like I deleted the work email app.

If I want my work emails, I just log on.

Are we boring?

No, I'm bored.

I'm really bored.

I'm literally not even half through the work day.

Born is about to switch off, not just after work,

but during work.

During work.

He's switched off.

I'm thinking about becoming a life coach.

Wow.

You wouldn't be the lowest millennials

had to disconnect from their work.

You'd be the most low energy life coach

anyone's ever met.

What do you want?

I feel like,

cause I do lots of other things.

It could feel like I don't switch off from work,

but I switch off from each thing differently.

Like when I leave radio,

I'm not really thinking about radio,

even though we just still chat all day long.

And then if I leave theater,

then I'm not really thinking about that.

You know, like I've always been able to just be like, bye.

Compartmentalize.

You got a busy brain, as you've said before.

So you got to be doing something.

We're going to be doing something,

but it doesn't have to be the work thing.

It's going to be something else.

It's going to be something.

Yeah, 65%.

So that's almost exactly two out of three.

Yeah.

Two of three.

The individual was born between 1981 and 1996.

I think that's the last,

the difference being that the following generation, Zed,

yeah, Gen Z's, Gen Z's,

who I take my hat off to them,

cause they don't buy it.

I don't think they buy into it as much as millennials do.

Yeah, they're all about the soft quitting

and all that kind of stuff.

The corporate bullshit, yeah.

The quiet quitting, you know, prioritizing.

What do you pay me to do?

Oh, you'll do just that.

I will do exactly what I'm asked to

and paid to do and not announce more.

Yeah.

But I think the generation before millennials.

Now, what's the silent generation?

Cause there's a stat here on them.

They're like my grandmothers age.

Above the boomers age, yeah.

Above the boomers, 10% say that it's hard to switch off.

Well, they're not working anymore.

They're not working, yeah.

We're not, we're not, we're not going to need you.

We're not going to need you anymore.

They're not working anymore.

We don't need that.

And the ones that are on silent generation

would be quite old now.

And they probably just do stuff like deliver pamphlets

or, you know, go get out there and just keep the brain,

keep the brain going.

Gen X, that's just before Millens, right?

Yeah.

They, same thing, 12% of Gen X individuals

would review a work email before their official day starts

or ends, you know, have a look at their work emails.

That's not a lot.

If it's urgent enough, someone's going to call you,

you know, I'm not answering that.

I'm also like, yeah.

I'm always just like, yeah, get in touch with someone else

who's more important than they can call me.

But yeah, here are people that go through the,

and replying to emails at like nine o'clock at night or at,

and they're at home, so no, don't do that.

Life's too short.

What do you need?

Bit of money?

Food on your plate?

I'll tell you what you need.

All you need, chips.

Salt and vinegar chips.

The best flavor chip.

I was going to say, love?

They make, oh yeah, and that too.

Oh, you needers, chips.

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Well, Consumer NZ have released their best list

of the salt and vinegar chips.

This is controversial.

Yeah, this is controversial.

I haven't read it, so I'm listening with intrigue.

Play, Zedem's, Fletch, Vaughn, and Haley.

Chips.

I love them.

Chip hairs.

I love a chip too.

Salt and vinegar is my favorite flavor.

Always has been.

Oh, probably always will be.

Don't get me started on people that do really salted chips.

I don't mind it every now and then.

I'm a sour cream and chives.

Salt and vinegar is.

Hands down, Snackachangi.

Snackachangi's the numbbled one.

They just came from nowhere.

Over a few years, they are the number one chip

in my heart and mind.

Same.

My heart and mind.

And your mouth, and guts.

And guts.

Well, Consumer NZ did a blind taste test.

How we taste tested.

A panel of 12 consumer staff members, blind taste tested.

Nine varieties of salt and vinegar chips

available at Supermarkets in New Zealand.

Participants were asked to complete a small short survey.

They scored each chip's taste out of five

and commented on appearance, taste, and texture

on each sample.

Participants had access to water throughout the taste.

I was gonna say, like, what happens at the end of each chip?

Do you refresh the palate?

Do you come back in 10, 15?

A palate cleansing of sour cream and chives.

Yes.

Or a chicken.

No, not a chicken.

Even the Snackachangi chicken's better

than all the other chickens.

Yeah, no, you're not wrong.

That's a good chicken.

It's just a good chip.

It's a good chip.

Not spawn, by the way.

Eight.

Pan salt and vinegar.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's all right.

Tastes like cardboard.

Terrible flowery taste that's lacking in flavor.

It is flowery.

They are flowery.

Have you had them?

Vinegar is barely perceptible.

Oh, no.

So that was that scored poorly.

But at $1.26 per 100 grams, not bad.

Yeah, not bad.

If you were catering for a large party,

you know, rather than a small group,

you could Snackachangi.

And you didn't like them.

If you had, like, 50 people there.

Yeah, you got to hit the pams.

That's what pams are all about.

Seven is Countdown Salt and Vinegar,

which has got the Woolworths brand.

It's a crinkle cut.

Some comment, I expect a more flavor.

This might be a budget brand.

Overall, very meh.

Okay.

$1.20 per 100 grams.

So the taste testers all knew the budget chip.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, you can sniff the budget chip.

Here's the surprise.

Number six on the list,

Copper Kettle Chip Salt and Vinegar.

Are they raw?

Yeah, not a Copper Kettle fan.

I love a Copper Kettle.

Significantly more expensive per 100 grams.

Yeah.

Over twice that of its budget competitors,

but right down there,

tastes like old deep fry oil,

not in a flavor crunch,

but not in a satisfying way.

Tastes like good old fashioned hot chips

with vinegar poured over them.

So, but mixed reviews.

Okay, yeah, right.

Next, Eater Ripples Salt and Vinegar.

Yeah, there you go.

At number five, Unremarkable Does the Job.

Don't know if I'd have been classed

these as Salt and Vinegar.

Somebody else said, wow.

That's actually the perfect representation.

Unremarkable Does the Job.

Yeah.

But for Eva, that would have been the number one.

Yeah.

Wouldn't it?

I bet people still buy them just because

it's Eater Ripples.

It's Eater Ripples.

And the big taste always gets through.

Do you remember the ad with the job?

Bluebird, Salt and Vinegar over Eater,

Salt and Vinegar wouldn't you?

Oh yeah, you would go Bluebird number one.

Because of the penguins.

So number four is proper chips.

Side of vinegar and sea salt.

These look a bit posh, right?

And it says, side of vinegar.

Side of vinegar.

It's not just salt and vinegar,

it's side of vinegar and salt.

I do like those though.

Very vinegary, not salty enough.

Lacking depth of flavor.

Vile.

The worst, somebody said.

I'm sorry.

You asked for salt and vinegar chips

and now you've got too much vinegar?

Too much vinegar.

It's okay.

They still made it to number four on the list.

It was number four.

Yes, yes, yes.

Number three is Heartland Salt and Vinegar.

Now this is a good South Island chip brand.

Yeah, that is.

That is.

I like them.

I think Heartland chips.

I believe so, yeah.

They're quite kettle based.

Kettle like, but with a crinkle cut.

Okay.

It looks like a beautiful potato corrugated iron.

Well, still haven't said my favorite.

Crunchy thin and light.

Number two on the list.

Bluebird Originals.

Oh, there you go.

That's your classic salt and vinegar.

Decent crunch.

Nice crunch.

Not too strong on vinegar flavor.

I don't like salt and vinegar chips,

but these are palatable.

Now what was that person doing on the channel?

You get out.

Get out.

Get out of the taste panels.

I don't want to hear from that.

First equal, or what?

This is where my problem starts.

Because one of the first equals kettle chip company,

salt and vinegar, sea salt and vinegar chips.

How can this kettle chip company be number one equal

and your copper kettle ones were like near the bottom?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're the same chip.

Yeah.

Strong vinegar flavor, but in a good way.

Look like real crisps, not kid's party crisps.

Lots of good blistering on the potato.

Crunchy, but light.

Yeah, they are well blistered.

And the number one is the snack of Changi.

Yeah.

Vinegar and salt chips.

I think you see when we were going to be surprised

that Snack of Changi wasn't going to be number one.

It's clearly number one.

I hate a first equal.

Do get some more people in to break that tie or something.

Get rid of the person that didn't like someone with chips.

Yeah.

And then let's have a recount.

Also, Eater owned Snack of Changi now.

Do they?

No, they all, I think they always owned Snack of Changi.

It was his brand.

But it was his brand.

But why?

And he wouldn't say, can you do this?

Right, so he's told them how to make the chip.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

But what he wants out of the chip.

I don't know if Lee Hart himself went in and said.

No, I think he did.

Yeah, I think he's like, it's weird

because you've got fit cut and you've got crinkle cut

and you've got kettle fry,

but they don't all happen on the same chip.

Yeah.

And it's good.

They're good chips.

God, they're good chips.

I'm just looking at the chips.

I'm just, they're just good chips.

Good stuff.

Oh, well done Snack of Changi and Ketel.

Now that is, so far on the show,

we've talked about giving yourself a little treat

when you do your job.

Yep, junk food.

We've talked about 25% of people ruining their,

kicks out of their health journey with junk food

and which is the best chips.

So I feel like we really aren't trying to see

Ralph and Junies to health.

Send Junies kick off on a Monday.

Sending some real mixed messages.

Yeah, we are.

Although you've done well, we haven't derailed you

because normally by seven o'clock,

you'd be ordering a cafeteria treaty and you didn't.

I didn't.

The girlies went to the bakery

and you didn't order anything.

Yeah.

And I walked in, I walked past, it's a waft of a scone

and I thought, I'm all right.

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Play ZM.

Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

83 days, 16 hours and 28 minutes until Christmas.

Oh yeah, baby.

Thank you to all of our wonderful listeners

that see Christmas creeping in, Christmas penetration

in the wild and send it to us.

Have a little sneak sneak.

Yeah.

Ah, let's start Fiona said this is from

the Cambridge, New Zealand grapevine,

your online community and information page.

Oh, okay.

It's a mouthful, isn't it?

Yeah.

Could just be called Cambridge.

Cambridge and Z.

Could be.

She said it has been noted that inspired by two

florist and giftware having a sale of 30%

of all Christmas stock.

They're doing their Christmas sale

on the wrong side of Christmas.

Yeah.

It's after Christmas that you have a massive sale.

Might be good for you though

because you need all your Christmas decorations

for your first ever treat.

I do.

Yes.

I do, but I want them to be really cute.

Yeah.

Is that what I mean?

This has got big Christmas trees.

This has got a white Christmas tree,

a blue Christmas tree, a red Christmas tree,

a green Christmas tree.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

No big pink Christmas trees.

They've got a taxi-dermi Christmas decorations.

What are you gonna get with the squirrels though?

Do you know what I mean?

Little like ducks little squirrels.

Oh, that would be cute.

That would be cute.

Yeah.

Little.

That would be cute.

Nothing like a dead duckling on the tree

to say Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Is he caroling?

Fantastic.

Oh, it's all rats and stuff.

Of course it's gonna be.

Everything else is too big.

And hard to come by.

Ben said,

Wittkels and Rickerton has an entire display

of Christmas books.

Oh, it's too early.

Oh, it's never too early to read Christmas in New Zealand.

That's a classic.

We've got that one.

What was that one we had?

The girls loved it

because it came with a CD.

It was about Santa and Rudolph had the farts

because he ate too much, too many carrots and hay.

No.

Ben said,

It's such a good movie.

Billy Bob Thornden.

Oh, it's so good.

Billy Bob.

Piece of work.

Fantastic.

That movie was.

Anthony says almost in warehouse,

full blown, like three foot tall Santas

that you put at your door

who do a little dance when they sense somebody's coming.

Oh, yeah.

Above some Christmas scented candles

and other Rudolph inspired regalia.

Justin says bunning.

My local bunnings has had Christmas decorations for a while,

but they've really stepped it up now.

They've got pallets and pallets and pallets

of Christmas lights.

Bunnings go hard early.

Yeah.

So they've really stepped it up.

And Craig sends in reports from Tirrapa Countdown

and Hamilton.

The posh advent calendars are out.

Oh.

The kind of surprise ones.

Your Cadbury ones.

Your Smarties advent calendars.

Advent calendars.

What are they?

October, November.

So we've got two full months before you even start

an advent calendar.

But they're getting the people that break them early.

Or do you think people actually buy them

to do for all of October and then do one in November?

No, because it's only 24 days.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, no, you do create.

It's just Christmas, December.

It's just December.

Right.

But people don't buy them now to stockpile them for then.

I think somebody's literally buying them

and eating all the chocolates.

And eating all the chocolates.

Yeah, I mean, just buy and block a chocolate.

Yeah.

Yes.

Maybe because there's 24 hours in a day.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe you could just yum one an hour

and get through a month's worth of chocolate in one day.

Yum.

How many months worth of rain in one day?

Well, I've had bloody six months worth of rain in three hours.

We might as well be eating chocolates.

Yeah.

By the same premise.

All right, with all that in mind, and how many days?

83 days until Christmas.

83 days away from Christmas.

Comet Cupid Polish the Sleigh.

Right now, Christmas penetration is at...

47%!

Oh!

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

And if you see any Christmas creeping in,

send it to us, FVHZM on Instagram, Facebook.

Also, yeah.

We're very close to 50% and you know what that means.

What does that mean?

You might have some little in-studio visitors next time

we do it, but then it's going to look a lot like Christmas.

No.

That's 50%.

Oh my God, they're going to be a year older.

They are.

They are going to be a year older and they stay until they...

No.

I wasn't going to say who.

I was going to leave it as a surprise.

The Christmas orphans are banned.

No.

They've been raised by Mummy Cowan and Daddy Jared for a year.

No, they've been well actually did that because I've...

They've been trespassed from the building.

Oh my God, they get returned.

Don't...

We'll find out next time.

No.

I'm just beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Oh no.

Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

So yesterday I caught up on the new season of the Kardashians.

Well, there's only one episode.

Yeah.

And one of the episodes, they go on holidays somewhere.

Cabo.

Cabo?

Oh yeah.

Mexico?

Yeah.

And they're at this very fancy beach house and they're looking out and then someone

sees, like someone who's like running the house sees, oh, we've been really lucky because

we've had lots of whales recently.

And if one's like excited to see a whale and then Chloe Kardashian's like, oh my God,

I feel like I could be sick.

Like, oh my God.

She's like in a real state.

And then they see a whale and turns out she's got a phobia of whales.

Like actually...

Like a full-on, like she's like, I feel unwell, thinking about them.

She revealed that her daughter, True, draws photos of whales, draws pictures of whales

and gives them to her mom, like knowing that she hates whales.

I could draw a pretty good whale.

Can you draw a good whale?

Give us a whale his pen.

Give us a whale.

This was the way to do it is you did like a big lump and then down and then you went

wave, wave, wave, wave, wave.

And then you went tail.

I mean, this doesn't work on the radio.

But the whale's not even...

That's not even the whole whale.

That's a silly whale.

Most of it's underwater.

Listen up, most of it's underwater.

Then that's the trick.

Let the water hide the whale.

That's cute.

Oh, it's quite cool actually.

It is quite cute.

You've done well.

I haven't done that for ages too.

I could probably get better if I practice.

All right.

We won't upload that to social media.

This is a whale.

And then I'm going to draw a little boat over here because they're out whale watching.

But I can't draw a rubber boat.

So I'm going to draw a kayak.

Okay.

And then when it comes to drawing the person's hands on the kayak, I'm just going to knuckle

them up.

Yeah, you do that.

You draw fingers.

So apparently she was like, didn't you hear the story of the people who were swimming got

sucked into a whale's mouth and then spat out again?

That happened one time to like a scuba diver right there.

It was like, it was a little bit freaky, but it was over very quickly and like I was in

its habitat.

It's happened one time.

She's not thinking of that Bible story because I don't believe that one or Pinocchio.

I don't know either.

But I think it's a very kind of a silly phobia and this comes from a woman who herself has

a silly phobia of which we cannot say on the radio.

But it seems.

Vaughan and I are not even allowed to say the word around you.

And even every now and then when it pops out, it seems like a bolt down my spine.

I'll say it now.

So the listener knows moths.

Just like that linger in the room.

In fact, did you see when I killed that one right by you?

That was one flying by you this morning.

Fletch was like flapping behind me.

And I was like, what the hell is he doing?

You do.

That's why you do it.

Yeah.

We just do it subtly.

We just do it.

Yeah.

I think I want to hear from our listeners.

You silly phobias.

I'm afraid of heights.

Makes sense.

If you fall off it, you die.

That's not an unusual phobia.

I'm afraid of flying.

I get it.

If a plane crashes, you'll die.

Yeah.

I'm afraid of whales.

You're never going to be near them.

Yeah.

You're never really going to be near them.

What about people that are like clown phobia, allergic to clowns or balloons?

I'm allergic to clowns.

They're not allergic.

I've been singing latex balloons.

You scared them.

Yes.

The phobia of clowns.

I'm afraid of balloons.

That's probably more the movie, right?

Like it.

Yeah, totally.

Have you seen, there's that thing on, there's a video of the woman on TikTok and she's

like, is there a sound you can't stand?

Mine's...

Starafa.

Oh yeah.

She's like trying to open up the take away.

She's like...

Starafa.

She like can't say it.

I can imagine that's because of the texture right in the sound it makes.

Here's an example.

Someone just texted in wet glad rap.

What?

That's what we want to hear yesterday.

So like if they're opening up a wet sandwich.

Like a soggy sandwich.

A soggy sandwich.

Because you put in too much tomato and juice and relish.

Oh no.

Well that's your fault.

I love a wet sandwich.

You're a terrible sandwich architect.

Yeah.

The sandwich got to be wet.

Okay, so what is your unusual phobia?

We would love to know this morning, like Courtney Kardashian, phobic of whales.

Yeah.

Phobic of whales, is that the right...

Phobic of whales.

Yeah, sure.

Whale phobia.

We are talking about your strange phobias and we're not here to laugh or judge.

I've got a silly one as well.

Khloe Kardashian is afraid of whales.

You don't like...

No THs?

Georgie, what is your phobia?

Oh, hi guys.

Good morning.

She's just thinking about it.

Wait, it's not me.

This must be hard to ring up and literally talk about the thing that terrifies you.

You can describe it.

So we appreciate your brave and say the word.

I'm scared of thinking about it.

Really?

First of all, long time listener.

First time for...

I could feel it.

You grab the bell.

I could feel it.

Okay.

So Georgie, safe place.

What is it that you don't like?

I think it's called Khloe phobia or something.

But it's the fear of buttons.

I don't think buttons on clothes or push buttons.

Yeah.

All of it.

Buttons on clothes.

Oh, buttons on clothes.

So I don't wear anything and my partner's not allowed to wear anything that has buttons on.

Wait, what about a shirt?

What about a shirt?

Yeah.

Yeah, no.

Not at all.

I won't wear it.

What if there's a wedding and you've got a nice dress without buttons and then your partner,

what's he going to wear?

A T-shirt?

I would not be able to touch him with a T-shirt button.

Wow.

I wouldn't hug her or anything like that.

What about jeans?

If you wear jeans, it's got one button at the top.

Like the denim.

Yeah.

I'm getting okay with that.

More of a dome, actually, though.

It is more of a dome, isn't it?

You can kind of cover that with a T-shirt.

Yeah, but that's a big initial thing.

Yeah.

I'm wearing a shirt today.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

There's so many buttons.

They literally disgust me.

Yeah, they're big.

Wow.

Big buttons, too.

Where did this start?

I have no.

It's from as long as I can remember.

So, like, back in school when you had to, like, have a couple buttons on your shirt sometimes,

oh, hideous.

Oh, like a polo.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

This is so interesting.

I've never heard of this.

Never.

Have you ever heard of anyone that's in the same boat as you?

No.

Have you ever heard of anyone that's in the same boat as you?

About Chrome, Edge of Your Life.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you'd Google it.

It says it's, like, relatively rare, but yeah, I've never heard anyone.

Or at least not anyone's going to admit that.

Yeah, yeah.

Componophobia.

Yeah.

Is a button phobia.

OK.

Well, wow.

And one of the things it brings up is if you've heard that movie Coraline, where she,

like, wishes for a better family or something, and her mum from the other one has buttons

for eyes, and that's the big difference between her.

That's the photo that they use as a photo

and that triggers people with your phobia.

Kieran, what's your unusual phobia?

Hello, Kieran.

Kieran's dead.

Talk on the phone.

Kieran's dead.

Could be talking on the phone.

Could be talking on the phone once.

Let's go to Bekka.

Bekka, what's your unusual phobia?

Mine is the sound of cutlery banging together.

You know, when you're like putting it away in the drawer.

It's like, pshh.

But yeah.

Like, could you stir something?

Like, could you stir a coffee in a cup?

Yeah, no, I could stir a coffee in a cup,

but I can't put it away.

Like, I have to leave that job for someone else

when it's clean over the dishwasher.

You're right.

What, is this just like a stainless steel?

That's fine.

Is that okay?

Yeah, that's fine.

It's like clanging it.

Uh-oh, we've got two.

Oh, no, don't.

Like that, that noise there.

Oh, yeah.

You must have hated it when the top twins used to play the spoons.

Oh, yeah.

Your least favorite instrument.

Hey, we're talking about your unusual phobias,

Chloe Kardashian.

Yep.

It's whales.

It is whales.

So much so that her daughter taunts it

by drawing a picture of whales saying to mum.

Emma, what is your unusual phobia?

Mine's cotton balls.

Oh, yeah.

I had a few messages from people who were scared

to freak out by cotton balls.

Is it like styrofoam, it's a texture?

I'm fine with styrofoam, but yeah, it's just a texture of them

and like, especially if they're wet.

Like, I just cannot deal with them.

Yeah, they're actually feral.

I actually agree with you there.

I think they're disgusting.

Like, they almost hurt my teeth.

Yeah, they squeak.

Yeah, I know you can.

Oh, yeah, but what about if like the dentist

has to chuck on those big ones

if he's doing a filling out of a cotton ball?

Oh, rather not.

Yeah, I'd rather tell him to get stuffed, bite on his finger.

Yeah.

Somebody said an old colleague of mine

was terrified of cotton balls as well.

I would run screaming from the room.

Gag starts sweating all of it.

We're terrorizing with them.

We thought it was fun.

No, we didn't expect them to be a 50-year-old farmer.

Kara, good morning.

What's your phobia?

Cornflower.

Oh, yeah.

Cornflower, yeah.

Yeah, Kara, go cornflower.

Yeah.

And that's a texture, right?

Um, smell, texture, sound, name, everything.

Can you eat?

Can you eat marshmallows?

No.

No, I don't quite...

Is that cornflower or marshmallow?

Yeah, it's cornflower or marshmallow, so...

Yeah, that's why it makes it.

So, yeah, gross.

It's why they don't stick together.

Yeah, yeah.

This is the stuff I'm sticking together.

Yeah.

Must be a thing about life.

It makes a squeaky sound.

Yeah.

It's not a good thing.

What about halloumi cheese?

No, it's just revolting.

My kids think it's funny to say the word around,

but even though it's worm and, like, wrench and bug way.

It's like Hailey with the word N-O-T-H.

Yeah, I didn't say it.

I just spelled it out.

Do you know they've learned to respect it?

Yeah.

Kara, thank you.

Some messages in.

I've got a jewel fear of balloons and clowns.

When my kids go to a birthday party and bring a balloon home,

I come out in a cold sweat and have to make an excuse

to my husband to pop it or to let it go.

And also just the thought of a clown twisting balloon animals

makes me want to vomit and cry.

I'm scared of old potatoes.

I get this one.

I get it.

When they start to sprout, when you've got them in the grave

and you leave and you forget about them and they sprout

and they throw out those alien looking tentacles.

Tentacles that are their roots because they're trying to find nutrients

so they can continue to, you know, replicate themselves.

But they do get it.

They are a bit warty and weird.

And they go in the green.

It's like what?

Monsterers do that as well.

They put those roots out.

Those arrow.

Oh, yeah, the arrow roots.

Just keep going if you don't cut them off.

Yeah, cut them off.

Um, birds.

Someone said my fear is Dr. Seuss.

Oh, not sure why you're scared of Dr. Seuss.

He's a rhyming story teller.

Yeah, but not actually medical professional.

Is he?

No, he's not actually medical professional.

No.

We've met the hard way.

He's from a lot of people with trypophobia,

which is the fear of a cluster of small holes, like crumpets,

crumpets should be thrown into the sun.

Yep, which would actually toast the crumpet quite quickly.

So you'd want to only have the sun very momentarily.

But don't you just think about those holes as an opportunity

to fill them up with some golden syrup or honey?

Yeah, or I think it's what's hiding in the holes

that freak people out.

Well, like little monsters, little monsters.

My old boss was petrified of baked beans.

Why?

Yeah, I don't know.

I have a massive phobia of seeing boats on the water.

It's so strange.

I just can't stand out of water.

Sorry, I just can't stand the side of the bottom of a boat.

There's one of those dry ducks.

And I accidentally said, I'm like, no, no, no.

I don't know.

What?

The texture of the what?

The texture of popsicle sticks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is when you finish an ice cream.

It's like those things they put on your tongue.

And they go, say, ah, and I'm always like, ah.

It's like you doing COVID test.

Oh, my God, you're the pets.

And then I have a car for the sneeze and it's had to have a spat.

Yeah, good stuff.

Joining us for catch, catch, catch up is Angel.

Good morning, Angel.

Good morning.

Good morning. All right.

Well, by now, we all know how the game works.

You've just got to say stop to lock in the dollar amount

before Kashi blows up.

Now, we've had some big wins.

Yes, we have.

Some average wins.

You're feeling, you're feeling lucky.

Oh, I'm hoping so.

It's the start of the week.

It's Monday, so I'm hoping.

Yeah, but Kashi was at the party with the Hawkes Bay rugby union

when they won the shoot off Wellington.

So he's a bit, he's a bit slow this morning.

I think he might be a bit.

Yeah, OK.

Well, let's let's see how it goes.

You yell at stop when you want to lock in that cash.

Here we go.

Ready.

Go!

125.

Yee-hoo!

214.

Catchy!

367.

Woo!

495.

That's a term to present.

555.

Oh, wow!

Oh!

We're going to have to go to the audio replay of this.

I think I did the explosion started.

I did too.

I thought I heard explosion before stop.

Now, if that is, you can't unexplode an improvised device

once it's exploded.

You can't.

Can we listen back?

Because it was, it was literally split second.

I heard the sound.

I screamed it, but I didn't hear the explosion.

Okay.

Producer Gerrace is going to give us a replay here.

Let's have a listen.

No, go back.

Back for the Gerrace.

Go back.

No, go back.

Go back again.

555.

Oh!

Come on!

Go again!

Come on!

We might, this is all on the fly.

I don't know if we can slow it.

55.

Oh!

It's kind of the same time, isn't it?

It's like she would have opened her mouth to say stop.

What does the wave file look like?

Jared, you know what a wave file looks like.

Oh my God!

Explosion will look like.

I mean, look, to be honest with you, it's not my money.

I don't care.

We should just give it to her.

Surely.

She literally would have gone before the bomb went on.

Yeah.

We could actually put this money towards fixing the Rand Fully Shield.

It's what I'm saying.

I don't.

We're not.

One more time.

Now, Jared's just looking at a wave file.

He's leaning right into the screen, too.

Angel, we take this very seriously.

It's not our money.

We should just give it to her.

I swear.

Jared's shaking his head.

He's going to be bad cop.

Oh, Jared!

How can you do this to Angel?

It's Monday!

You heard her!

Let's put this to a jury of our peers.

The listener?

No, no, no.

There's seven people here.

Georgia.

Georgia Street and Georgia Birch.

She could hold it.

Yeah.

All those in favour of giving Angel the money.

Put your hands up.

One, two, three, four, five.

Wow, Vaughn.

Yes!

You voted no.

Angel Vaughn didn't put his hands up.

I was abstaining.

Angel, we're just going to give you the cash.

$595!

$555!

$555 is yours.

It was tight, but we'll give it to you.

Awesome.

Thank you so much, guys.

Also, I'm a long-time listener and first-time soloist.

Oh, yes!

First-time winner now, too.

Yeah, congratulations.

Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Now, I went to Christchurch on the weekend.

Thank you so much for everyone who came to my show on Friday.

My showza.

Did two shows.

And it was a bit wild getting there, I have to say.

We got a flight that Aaron wasn't even booked on,

so I had to book that if you were listening last week.

If not, catch up on the podcast on iHeartRadio.

That was an expensive mistake from you.

Truly was.

And I woke up because I can't stay away from planes.

It's like a superpower I have, which I'm very grateful for.

I woke up to the plane basically like diving to the side

and like down into the side.

And it was the most, this is from a Wellingtonian,

the most outrageous landing I have ever experienced in my life.

Really?

She's been windy.

She has been windy.

More wild weather as well today.

So I had friends flying into Auckland even on Friday, late Friday,

and they said that was crazy.

Yeah, this was like no fun.

And Aaron was having such a bad time,

and he'd already had like kind of a crook guts

and was almost reaching for the bag.

Oh, really?

It was so bad.

Martaewa?

Martaewa.

And then it kept doing that thing, you know, we're like, it drops.

Yeah, I love that.

I love it.

I'm going to roll the coaster.

I don't like going on a commercial aircraft.

But not only doing the dropping.

It's the wind going.

Not only that, but like also just diving to the side, like tipping like this.

Jesus.

It was brutal.

And then the captain comes over the thingy.

Yeah.

And he's like, can everyone...

Race for impact.

When he started talking, I was like, oh my god,

they're going to drop the bloody oxygen masks.

But he was like, no, can everyone turn on the air con,

let the little twisty knob to release some of the pressure from the cabin?

What?

He's like, it'll help us.

And I was like, what?

Where does that air come from?

I always assumed that air was just circulating in the cabin.

I know.

Are we taking a bit of it from the outside?

Wait, I've never...

What, like when you land, you might pop or something.

So weird.

I have no idea.

You're in a soda bottle and he's like,

if everyone could just open the lid just a little bit.

Yeah.

Wait, I've never...

So everyone's hand was like...

Like twisting all the nibbly bits.

I've never heard that in my life.

I know it was the most bizarre thing.

I'm going to need a pilot listening to explain that.

Yes, please, yes, please.

Or a flight attendant.

Why would that have happened?

Yeah.

Well, so everybody undoes the events.

Yeah.

For landing.

Yeah.

Ruffer's guts landing.

I mean, shout out to the pilot.

He absolutely did his best.

Yeah.

Anyway, we get there.

We make it alive.

Did Aaron show?

Aaron did not enjoy.

He didn't spew, thank god.

Right.

And then we get there and...

Oh, it's a beautiful day in Christchurch, though.

Yeah.

It's crisp, but like sunny, stunning.

Loved it.

All the cherry blossoms are blossoming at the moment.

Do we have an answer?

Apparently the plain doors have pressure lights.

And if the lights are flashing,

they aren't allowed to open the doors due to pressure.

Well, that didn't really answer the question.

Yeah, well, yeah.

No, we need...

We need more on this.

Why did we need to turn on the aircon?

I told you it was a bad idea to have too much kombucha on board.

Yes, I know.

But it was for more of a chompane I'd had.

Anyway, so it was good.

It was a good trip to Christchurch.

However, there was another little plot twist

that almost was a disaster.

Actually timed out quite well, but I was getting ready.

We had a nice afternoon.

Went to the theater, packed in.

Had about an hour and a half

until the audience, until the show was on.

You didn't forget your dress again.

No, no, no.

The costume was at the theater.

I was getting ready, sort of warming up a little bit.

Did my face.

And then Aaron was hanging around for me to start.

And then I was like, it's time.

Audience is about to come in to the building,

which was like half an hour before I was going to be on stage.

And I was like, I'll go put on,

because I wear two pairs of control underwear on stage.

Just helps me feel all tucked in in time.

You don't want to Lenny Kravitz, do you?

You don't want to Lenny Kravitz.

Two pairs of control underwear and a pair of tights.

Who aren't familiar with the Lenny Kravitz event?

Would you run us through that?

Well, Vaughn, he squatted...

He was wearing leather pants.

He squatted down and his penis popped out of the rip in his leather pants.

He was commando.

He was commando in leather.

And we all saw his Lenny Kravitz.

Yeah, we did.

Has it touched the ground?

Did we see the Lenny?

Did we see the Lenny or did we see the two Kravitzes?

Just the Lenny.

I thought we saw the two Kravitzes.

Well, have a Google.

Have a Google on your computer.

Don't work with Lenny Kravitz.

Well, I was trying to avoid Lenny Kravitz.

Two pairs of undies and a thingy.

And then I go to the bathroom to get changed.

Take off the undies I'm wearing.

Got my period.

Now, I'm literally about to walk onto stage.

Like...

So you'd say great timing at this point.

Great timing.

No, because I don't usually use tampons.

So I've got no tampons on me.

All my period undies, they're in Auckland

because I wasn't expecting this.

Because, you know, I'm off the pill at the moment.

So it's all rogue.

I've got no way of tracking it.

Actually, thank God it's arrived.

Actually, come on.

Why don't you go to the doctor?

Better than a little arrival at nine months time.

Am I right?

You still won't go to the doctor?

No, I don't want to.

If it hadn't arrived, it wouldn't be a little arrival

at no month's time.

Your fiance is 6'6 and you're pushing some sport

at a bigger arrival.

She'd be a long one.

Anyway, so yeah, I had to...

I was like, all right.

It was literally about to leave

because he was going to babysit the nieces

while our sister-in-law came and saw the show.

And he had to do a little boyfriend run up the road

as texted me like, what size?

Oh, he's a good man.

Regular.

Came back and was like, are these it?

I was like, they'll do.

All bloody.

You'll only buy Maxi or SuperFly once

if your partner's not that.

You're told in no uncertain terms.

Well, it's not, yeah.

It's about the flow of the size of the ocean.

What do you call it?

Tunnel.

Size of the tunnel.

Yeah.

It's about the flow of the river.

Yeah.

Anyway, sorted near disaster though,

because if that had arrived 30 minutes later,

she would have been on stage.

Yeah, that would have...

She would have been parading around,

as you've seen, I do, in that show

in a very tiny little skirt.

Heaven to Betsy.

So there is someone online

who's been sharing a theory,

sort of mathematical theory,

I guess, on how to know when you're dating,

when to sort of go, that's the one.

Right.

And this person, she likened it to

hiring a person for a job.

She used the example of a secretary

and was like, you've got to interview,

say you interview 100 people for the job.

At some point, if you go over that number,

you've already missed all the best people.

Now we're moving into the Driggs territory.

But if you land on hiring someone too early,

then you don't know if the best is yet to come.

Right.

So she said, the way that you do this,

where you would hire someone

or land in a relationship to know they're the one,

is to get to 37% of your dating pool.

So say you go, I'm going to date 30 people this year.

Yep.

Or whatever.

Or however long you want to be on the search for.

That's a lot.

At this 37% mark,

you've dated 37% of the pool that you're going to date,

you choose the best one,

and that's your bar of that, right?

So you go, this is a person.

This is the bar that they need to meet.

The best of the bunch.

Then you can keep on going.

But if they don't meet your...

If they don't best that bar,

that's the one.

That's the person.

And then if you get to,

because it's quite early on, 37%,

if you get to a new bar,

you don't go back and start again.

You go, oh, I met someone at 60%,

met, it was better than the 37%,

so that's my new bar.

But you never go past your quota of like...

You never go back down.

Right.

Yeah, and once you reach 100%,

you can't just like keep on going.

You go to the top bar.

But what if they've moved on?

Yeah, hard to go to that bar,

and you're like, well, hold on, mate,

because I haven't got to my 100 yet,

and they're like 58,

they're not going to wait around.

Yeah.

This assumes that...

That's crazy.

This assumes everybody is waiting for you

to complete your numbers.

It assumes that you are so good

that you are the only driver of this decision.

Yeah.

Essentially, yeah, that's what it's saying.

But you can hang out with that person, I guess,

for a while and keep it on the Brewster.

Like, simmer them on the back burner.

Keep them on the simmer.

Yeah, right.

That's right.

People don't like being simmered.

No, they don't like being simmered.

They don't like being simmered.

I don't know if I've been simmered.

I've been boiled and I've been turned off.

Boiled up.

Overflow in the pot.

Overflowed.

Yeah, yeah.

I had a wooden spoon put on me.

Oh, yeah.

To reduce that.

To stop me boiling over the top.

To reduce the overflow.

Or I've just been straight turned off

and turned back to cold.

Right.

But never simmered.

I'm also reminded of that motivational post

where two people are digging.

They're mining.

Yeah.

And one person's like,

I give up.

And they were inches away

from getting to the diamond cave.

Oh, but they didn't know.

And you never know what's just on...

You never know what's on the other side of it.

That sounds like gambling.

Yeah, like just one more $20.

One more $20.

Yeah, one more $20.

Because they don't know

how it could be right there.

The wind could be right there.

He's got a great point.

Let's go to the casino.

Let's go.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

This week's theme for Fact of the Day is Sesame Street.

Oh, my goodness.

Love me some Sesame Street.

And I was told a fact or a fact.

And I thought, surely over its run since 1969.

Nice.

Sesame Street has been on TV pretty much nonstop.

Yeah.

So surely it's full of facts.

And this is the fact that's kicking off Sesame Street.

Fact of the Day is that there is an episode of Sesame Street

that was recorded but never aired.

Oh.

The name of the episode is Snuffy's Parents Get a Divorce.

Oh.

Snuffleupagus.

Yeah, Mr. Snuffleupagus.

Now with Snuffy.

Some cultural inappropriate reaction.

Nope.

OK.

Nope.

It was when they decided to cover the serious topic of children of divorce.

Oh, OK.

And parents get divorced on what that means for the children because they got in 1989,

which was when they first wanted to do this.

1992 was when the episode was finished and read for airing but they never aired it.

There was a report from the US Census Bureau that 40% of American children had experienced divorce.

And they said, we've covered serious issues.

Yeah.

Which have had significant or less across the board impact.

So let's try our best to cover divorce in an episode.

And they were like, what muppet can we use?

And Snuffy.

Snuffleupagus.

Snuffleupagus was the one that they chose.

Because it wasn't one of the main.

It was like an elephant looking.

It was Wally Mammoth.

Wally Mammoth.

It was Wally Mammoth.

Yeah.

And for a while there, Big Bird thought, everybody thought Snuffleupagus was Big Bird's imaginary

friend.

Because he was never around when Big Bird would talk about him and no one ever saw him.

Like Fletcher's girlfriend in high school.

It just went to a different high school or a different town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She was older though and super hot.

Yeah, she's a model.

So it's hard to like get it a continue for the weekend.

But he wasn't imaginary.

Oh my God.

He was, well, he's a muppet.

Yeah, she was real.

He existed.

And she existed too.

No one's questioning that.

She was gorgeous.

So they made the episode and they made it in conjunction with like therapists and everything

that they always consulted for the sort of thing.

Of course.

And then they decided to do tests with focus groups for children, younger children.

Sort of the core demographic of Sesame Street preschool and early years of school.

And they decided not to air it because of at the end of it, even though they were constantly

reassured by the other muppets of these things, they said they believed that any argument their

parent had, their parents had would leave to divorce.

Despite Big Bird saying quite the opposite.

They were also when they were asked like about the relationship with the kids and the parents,

they said, oh, no, I think the parents stop loving each other and they stop loving their

children.

So they were like, oh, we can't have that out there.

They said that every argument in divorce, their parents, one of the parents had to move away

and the kid could never see them again.

And the parents didn't love them as their children anymore.

And they said, despite like the whole episode was based around the fact that those three

things don't happen.

Yeah.

In divorce, you still get to see the parent that you don't live with full time.

Everything.

So they were like, we just actually can't air it.

And the accountants were like livid because they're like, this was a very expensive episode

to make.

We had to make it.

Who had not been on Sesame Street before.

Right.

His mom had been stuff.

His dad hadn't been.

And that's maybe why they got a divorce.

Yeah.

She was left at home raising the children in the mammoth cave.

And he was what, golfing and pissing up with his mates.

No doubt.

It's time.

Another Lance trip.

Yeah.

Think how big that bus would have to be together.

They were all mammoths.

So they never ended up, they never ended up using it.

It wasn't until in 2012 that they made a non-televised special for, it was called little children

big challenges.

And this one was divorce.

Right.

Where they did address it again.

But this time I'm using Abbey Cadabby, not stuff like this.

Right.

It was not used at that, at that time.

They've also done episodes after September 11.

And Hurricane Katrina were two other serious ones.

Very serious history.

But they made it to ear.

Yes.

Those made it to ear.

But that is the stuff these parents get a divorce, never made it to ear.

And of course a burden in a gay marriage.

That was a big one.

That was contentious.

But they did it.

They did it.

They knew all along.

We've known forever.

Yeah.

And the key is the ones got vertical stripes and horizontal stripes.

That's right.

Okay, right.

That's how it's going to work.

So today's fact of the day is in 1992 Sesame Street made an episode about Snuffy's parents

getting a divorce that never aired because it didn't test well with children.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Well, we love it when our listeners do all the work for us.

Thank you.

Don't tell them let's have a whole show with us.

Oh my God.

It's a whole show.

The bosses might hear.

Son of a bitch.

We came up with this.

Shut your mouth.

I mean, we thought of this.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

So I received a message over the weekend from Laura on the Gram.

She said, I'm currently watching an in-flight safety video about to take off.

Impossible phone or idea.

Has anyone actually used the emergency slide on a plane?

It's bucket list stuff.

I mean, it is, but it isn't, right?

Because if you're using that slide, something bad's happening.

And you're needing to evacuate a plane very quickly.

Well, but if we're using it, it means the plane's landed and I'm not dead.

Yeah, but it could have crash landed.

Yeah, I know.

I could have slid in you, but you're not dead yet.

What have we crashed into?

I don't know.

But this is the question.

The ocean.

This is the question.

Will they become a raft in the event of an ocean landing?

Has anybody, and this could actually be the impossible phone and topic because how often

do you hear of people actually going off the slides?

Very rarely.

Not often.

Not in New Zealand.

Yeah.

Let you see the odd emergency landing overseas and there's a slide.

Yeah.

And we will not.

We won't be accepting like, because the flight attendants practice going down the slide,

like course and stuff.

Yeah, no.

We're not accepting course.

If you've done course, we're not training.

Training for the slides.

Only accept.

Have you used the emergency slide off a plane ever?

Is there anybody listening?

Because I think this could be the very first impossible phone and topic.

I'll tell you, the techs aren't pouring in.

No, this is, I think we've finally done it.

We could finally do it.

Is there anybody listening?

Or do you know of someone that had to get off a plane using the emergency slide?

Yeah.

0800 does it.

It is the number you can text through 9 6 9 6.

The impossible phone and topic.

I think we may have done it.

Me too.

I'm excited though.

I may have a chance.

Give them a chance.

They are composing a long sort of articulate and poetic retelling of their tale of setting

off the slide.

Okay.

Well, the impossible phone and topic 0800 does it.

It is the number you can text through 9 6 9 6.

Have you ever had to use the emergency slide on a plane?

Well, the impossible phone and topic.

I think we've come very close.

We have come close.

Today, the impossible phone and topic.

Have you ever used the emergency slide on a plane?

Yeah.

I feel like we would have heard of it.

Overseas a lot.

Anonymous joins us.

Good morning, Anonymous.

You have used the emergency slide on a plane.

Oh my God.

Yes, we have.

Oh my God.

When did this happen?

It was back in 2012.

Okay.

And where was this in New Zealand?

No, it wasn't in New Zealand.

It was from flying from Gatwick to Florida.

Oh, wow.

And what happened?

It all happened really quickly, and it was a while ago.

But in short of it, we were in the air for about 20 minutes, and then they realised that

there was fire in the hole.

Oh, it was my stuff.

My jacket.

Yeah.

And then we returned back to Gatwick Airport.

Yep.

And we came in pretty hard and had landed, and then the doors flung open, and the emergency

slides were inflated, and we were all going down them, essentially.

Did you go, whee!

What was it at the time?

At the time?

Not so fun.

I'm looking it up.

It checks out the dates, the locations.

Oh my God.

Wow.

Everything.

It checks out four people were hurt.

You weren't one of them.

So obviously the fire trucks turned up and extinguished the hole in the fire.

Was the plane gutted or like?

No, no.

It wasn't.

Wow.

I think you can see pictures and stuff on mine.

It kind of looks fine from the outside.

Did that put you off?

Did that put you off flying or you were fine?

No, we had to get on the plane the next day to continue our flight.

So you were...

I'm sure we were on that plane.

You were working for the airline?

No, no, no.

We were on holiday.

Oh!

And so we were flying to Florida for a holiday, and we got on a different plane the next day.

The fire in the hole, did you lose anything?

Yeah, this is a big battery.

This is pre-checking lithium batteries.

So you got your suitcase out and all that.

Yeah, yep.

Wow.

And does this make you pay attention in safety briefings now?

Yeah, absolutely.

Well, you need to.

Unless you've already done it.

I'm looking at the slides.

I'm looking there.

There is the...

I definitely just count the rows to the exit now.

There is the Virgin Atlantic Airbus.

Yeah, wow.

That's a huge plane.

Oh, my God.

Anonymous.

That's crazy.

Because I fly us on planes.

Like, that's lethal stuff.

Yeah, it is.

That's really full of gas.

Thank you so much for sharing, anonymous caller.

We did have one other tech sensor.

This is, it's ruled, not impossible.

Not impossible.

Used to be a practice passenger for aircrew.

And fake crash practice.

Oh, how I...

Like how I used to act for the police.

Yeah.

So they'd be sitting on the plane.

Ugh, it's crashing.

And then they...

I don't know, maybe they opened an envelope

and that was their...

Their role.

I'd make it really hard for them.

Like I'd ship myself.

Yeah, so...

I wouldn't actually force out a ship.

I'd become paralyzed with fear.

Yeah.

I'd start rocking...

Sir?

Back and forth.

I'd be doing money another drink.

It's flat crash landing.

I'm gonna need another gin and tonic.

I just need to get my laptop.

It's got important files on it.

I need to get all my bag.

My bag, my bag.

I'll grab you some other people's bags, dude.

Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver

five stars because you wanted five stars back?

Yes.

Let's do that with this podcast.

Oh, yeah.

Review at five stars, tell your friends,

and we'll do the same for you

if you ever need a review for anything.

But where are you giving me my five stars?

Well, I don't know.

Do you own a restaurant or something?

Yes.

If you give us five stars on this podcast,

tell us where you would like your review.

Oh, yeah.

We'll review.

We won't even go.

We'll just review your thing.

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is.

I'm doing one of those secret restaurants.

Oh, it's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

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