ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 26th September 2023
NZME 9/25/23 - Episode Page - 1h 17m - PDF Transcript
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The ZM podcast network. The Fleshhorn and Haley big pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with
My Mac's rewards. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fleshhorn and Haley Haley's back.
United we stand. Did you breeze through the busy Auckland airport yesterday?
It was nothing. It felt busy but then I just I don't know just flew through. I was prepared. I
downloaded podcasts. I was like chill. I'd had about five drinks on the plane to just keep relaxed.
And then I just totalled out of there straight into an Uber. Right through. Did anybody get me
any duty-free? No. Well you didn't ask. I think it goes without saying mate. I pack a carton of
pawmills. You don't smoke. Oh my god. Remember buying people cartons. My friend always asked me
for wickelies. Oh my god. Yes. Every time. Every time. Was it about cartons? No. Simon travels
lots but he was smoking more does he? Does he? No he doesn't. No. Everyone had a mate that would
ask a Brad Watson. He was a shocker for a carton of pawmills. We should do a name and show on
the show where you ring up and tell us who used to get you to buy a carton of cigars. And I was
always so torn. I was like you shouldn't be. No I can't. This is a lot. Yeah but it's so much
cheaper so I'll just save you the money at least. Yeah. They didn't get you some pawmills. Sorry
mate. Do they do duty-free like mince and cheese vapes? I don't know. No they don't.
Do they even do cigarettes anymore? Yeah. I don't think you can bring in a carton though.
I don't even think I've seen them. No I'm pretty sure they restricted their number.
You can bring in it was like four packs or something. Right. Actually that's a good call.
I don't think I've ever, I haven't seen them in duty-free New Zealand for a long time.
Wow. For travels to New Zealand duty-free tobacco is now limited to 50 cigarettes or 50 grams of
cigars or cigarettes or 50 grams of a mixed river three. Wow. Two packets. It's one little pouch.
So that's why they're not selling them at the airport anymore. Oh my god. That's
incredible. That's good. That's good. Yeah okay. Wow. When did they change that? That's a while.
Well that's why we haven't been there. That's a while then. Yeah. Coming up on the show we'll
give you the chance to win some cash at eight o'clock. Cash catch up. Hailey in your absence
yesterday. Cashy how much should we dish out? Five hundred and thirty one. Oh I like that.
Yeah. So we play three times a day at eight o'clock, midday and four o'clock. So your next
chance at eight o'clock. Listen now for the activator. The top six on the way.
Alicia Keys. Well she keeps on falling. Falling in love with you. This is why I didn't
make that was his song when X Factor. Yeah. Auditions. Wow. I keep on falling in love.
Oh don't remember her doing this. It's a hard song.
Great for Barato. She has trademarked Alicia Keys. No. Alicia Tees. Oh for god's sake.
As in a loose leaf teen. No as in like teasing you. That you know what I think this is good from
her. It's funny. It's made me laugh. I'd buy a bloody peppermint Alicia Tees. Yeah. I'd buy a green
Alicia Tees. Yeah. I'm not a fan of a green. Oh just Alicia coffee. She'll only be so long before
she branches out to a coffee. Yeah. Doesn't rhyme though. Does it? I got the top six.
Other celebrities that should trademark properties like Alicia Keys, Alicia Tees.
There is a mother from the United States. Her name's Tammy. Now I'm going to say alarm bells
are already ringing. Tammy. Yeah. I'm Tammy. Tammy was looking for a babysitter for her kids
and she posted a notice around town and it's now gone online and people have a lot to say about it.
She says babysitter needed ASAP, which is as soon as possible Rocky I believe. That yet is.
Now it said I need someone to watch my four kids age two, three, five and seven. Gosh
she's pumping them out. I mean already know that sounds like too much work. That's a lot.
Busy ages from noon till six, Monday to Friday, occasional weekends. So that's six hours a day.
Here are her requirements. Must be a great cook and avid cleaner, great cook, over 25 years old,
minimum education master's degree. Oh. Now that's what you get after you do a whole normal degree.
Yeah. No social media, brackets. I don't even get seeing that. Okay. No drinking, no smoking,
not even vaping, no tattoos or piercings, need five professional references. Background checks
and drug tests will be conducted. Okay. This job pays $200 a week. This is six hours a day.
Okay. Wow. Must have own transport to get to and from while also running all my errands.
All right. Please call Tammy if interested. Wow. Master's. Yeah. And then divide that.
How many hours are you working? That's a lot of hours. It works out to $6 an hour. Oh wait. And
so she wants someone with a master's degree to earn $6 an hour. Yeah. To work six hours a day,
Monday to Friday. So a full-time job essentially. And also run up
K's in their own car doing her errands. Own transportation. Yeah. Right. Okay. And no social
media. You want to find a 25-year-old in America that doesn't have social media? I mean, I get
that you want someone good looking after your kids, but you just get the neighbor, right?
That's all we did. We just had the neighbor. Well, just they popped over. Yeah. Well, they just
down there's under the fence and they just kept an eye out for like smoking stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
You guys all right? Leave some chips and earn a bowl and lock the door and come back in six hours.
I remember asking, I kind of remember her name, but she was our babysitter for a couple of years.
And always just teenagers. You always thought they just knew everything. They were in charge.
And I remember asking one of them to wipe my bum. I remember going to the toilet at that age where
you were still, I would have been like four years old or something. Yeah. But I still needed a bit
of a hand. And I'm doing a- You remember that? Yeah, I do. And a teenager wiped your bum.
I remember going to the toilet and then coming up to him being like,
This bum ain't going to wipe herself.
Basically.
That, were you just being a brat on purpose? Or did you actually need it wiped?
I think my mom used to wipe my bum. Oh, God. Oh, God. Patsy really tanned it to you, didn't she?
Yeah, she did. She really did.
Guys, I just have that interaction in my head. Yeah. The rest of us were on our own,
weren't we? Yeah. We recorded our babysitter screaming at us, like yelling at us. Oh.
The little Walkman that we had under our bed and we said to the radio and tape songs off the radio,
we pressed record and had her yelling at us. And that was the same night that mom found,
she'd made her own dip using onion soup. And yeah. And what's that stuff called?
French onion soup. Reduce cream. Reduce cream. Not sweet indeed. It's milk.
I'm listening. And she had made the dip and then obviously they're not like that and
scooped us all straight into the bin. You know, my parents, huge-
Oh, that would have been a lot of waste. A lot of waste in the 90s.
Also, lost respect for her. She doesn't like a Kiwi onion dip. He doesn't either.
I don't either. You know this about me, don't you? It's disgusting. Yeah, it's wallpaper paste.
Oh my God, it's the most delicious dip. It's disgusting, no.
Ask nine things of what is tomato sauce. It's average. Yeah, I think it's average too.
Yeah. Give me a chutney any day. A Whitlock's Chut. Give me a Whitlock's Chut.
You're a different guy. It's a different guy. It's a Whitlock's Chut.
That's a Chut. Wait, so your parents found this throwing out dip and then you had
and trapped her on an audio recording device. We had the lead up.
Because we knew it was going to happen because it happened previously and they didn't believe us.
But we'd go to bed or whatever and we'd just be like quietly talking. And she'd
yell at us. And Mum and Dad were like, it is just insane.
So they fired her? Yeah, well, they just never got her back.
When they went to their rock and roll dancing. Oh my gosh.
Which they said they were going rock and roll dancing, didn't they?
Yeah, they're having a bit of car action, I reckon. They've parked up somewhere for a little bit.
Who could blame them? Oh God, yeah. Have you been in the house with children?
Yes, I have. Three of them. Yeah, horrible. Two boys and a girl all irritating and loud.
Yeah. Good for them. Paper thin walls. That was a very old house. Yeah. No insulation.
Oh, I'm happy for them. Play Zerim's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.
I'm just doing some some co-aculations here. Yeah, babe.
On every time you say Ed Sheeran, every single time you say Ed Sheeran,
my Siri thinks. Yeah, mine just went up as well. It's so annoying.
Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran. I don't know why it just does it.
Is it ZM Ed Sheeran? ZM Ed Sheeran. So Siri thinks ZM Ed Sheeran.
But it doesn't sound like Hayes. Hayes. How many minutes and two hours?
So 120 plus 11 is 131. Okay, so let's just go 130.
There has been a record set for the women's marathon.
132 minutes. How do I calculate this? Give us the hours.
She did two hours 11 and 53 seconds. Two hours 11, 53 seconds to do 42.2 kilometers.
Just divide that. What's her average speed?
So per kilometer, she was doing three minutes and 7.53 seconds.
That is insane. That is that is honking. That is insane.
So it is so fast. Kip Trogie did the men's one in two hours, one minute and nine seconds.
So she's 10 minutes off his pace. Which for a lady.
Because of the boobs. The boobs.
The boobs. She doesn't have massive.
No, of course you wouldn't if you're a runner.
Yeah. Tegist, a seafar of Ethiopia smashed the record by like three minutes.
Like that's a big shave of a record. Yeah, over 42Ks though.
That is insane. What is that? Is that 20Ks an hour?
Yeah, it's 19.2Ks an hour. Have you ever had the treadmill up that fast?
Did you see the videos when Kip Trogie did his record
and people were getting on the treadmill and running his pace? It's a sprint.
It's insane. It's a sprint.
So every second, she did 5.33 meters.
What is she? She must have a stride on her. Is she a horse?
Is she a lege? Is she lege?
Is she lege or is she a horse? It's got to be one of them.
Oh, she's a lege horse. She's a lege horse. That's it.
It was both. Isn't that just crazy?
This is... It was emotional.
That's okay. It's got to be emotional.
He's a feminist, man. He's a feminist.
Yeah, he loves. He loves a speedy woman.
I will say, and I don't want to be seen as trying to attack this record or this runner.
Here we go. This week.
Here we go. It was done in Berlin.
Have you been to Berlin? Flat.
Very flat. No hills.
Of course. No hills.
Yeah, you're right. What a little bitch.
She should have taken it on a bloody hilly one.
She used to be an 800-metre specialist.
And now she's doing...
So she's become a long distance.
A long distance from what is... 800 medium or is that still in the short umbrella?
I don't know.
1500 to medium distance.
200-meter sprint.
She is 26 years old.
She's from Ethiopia. She's one meter, 68 tall.
Okay.
And 53 kilograms.
So she's light.
Has anyone checked she didn't get on like a lime scooter?
Yeah, I think she got on a lime scooter.
No, lime scooters. She could run faster than a lime scooter,
especially in Berlin. They have a lot of limited speed zones.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
And also she would have had to have like got off and taken a photo of where she left the scooter.
That takes time.
Yeah, that takes time.
That takes time.
And there's a lot of no parking zones in Berlin,
so she would have had to have found a place that it was okay to park.
Even in like the what...
How long do you reckon it would take you to stop your scooter,
put it on the stand, get out your phone, take a photo, how many seconds?
Well, she's probably done a kilometer in the time that takes you to get on.
Look at her gait.
Look at that stride.
She just striding.
And this is at the end.
Those shoes look massive.
They do look massive.
Spring age.
They're in at the moment though, aren't they?
Big shoes.
I don't think she's trying too much about fashion.
I don't know if it's a fashion thing.
Yeah.
Look at that stride.
She ran like that.
That's like...
That stride and the way she's running and the arms that she's using to get herself going,
that's the sort of run...
You could only keep up for a little while and that was 100%.
And a bear has to be behind you.
Yes.
It's pure panic of being chased by that dog that everybody's like,
No, he's friendly.
He's friendly.
He's not.
Play it.
ZM's Fletch for Naly.
From the Panoramic ZM Think Tank.
This is the top six.
Alicia Keys is set to release her own tea range.
Alicia Tees.
Alicia Tees.
Good.
It's good.
Good from here.
Alicia Tees.
Um...
The move comes three years after the fallen hitmaker's husband,
Swizz Beatz, presented her with her own Alicia Tees collection during her birthday celebrations.
So he had a little thing made up.
Crafting something up.
And then put a little...
He might have a cricket.
Cricket.
He might.
Tell those vinyl things.
Or a little label maker.
Yeah, and he put it on there and she was like,
Oh, I like that.
I've got a brother label maker.
It's good.
Brother!
It's your sad brother.
Brother!
So handy because when I go into your pantry, I can see that's pasta.
Yeah.
That's the sugar.
Yeah.
Otherwise, how would you know?
You wouldn't.
You just wouldn't.
You just wouldn't.
You'd be so lost in there.
Hmm.
But the brother ones are on the white.
Yeah, they're not as nice as the other ones.
Cricket.
Cricket.
All right.
Cricket!
Cricket!
We're at your side.
Cricket!
Do you remember when you...
I know, Fletch, that's what you're referencing, but Hailey,
do you remember when once big time New Zealand celebrity,
Nicky Watson, lost their dog Cricket in the surf at Matarangi Beach?
I don't remember that.
And a reporter went down in the...
It must have been quiet.
It was before the days of, like, pandemics,
world destruction, global pandemic.
Yeah, yeah.
And there's a book called The Good Old Days?
The Good Old Days, when they had the time to go down,
send a reporter down to Matarangi to walk along the beach
with Nicky Watson, and she was screaming...
Oh, my God, it was dead!
Dead, too.
Oh, my God, I didn't even knew they found the body.
Oh, well, now we all feel terrible, don't we?
It was years ago.
What was it?
2007, I'm guessing.
What's that thing called?
The Statute of Limitations?
Statute of Limitations.
Yeah, so...
Cricket!
She was walking down the beach, and the reporter said,
wait, you've never even got to the best part yet.
She's like, Cricket!
And he's like, your horse.
And she said, no, my dog.
Dude, it was a moment.
It was a moment.
You can't.
It was a moment of music.
I found the clip for you.
I found the clip for you.
I'll play...
Well, I've got to edit it.
I don't know what's before and after.
Yeah, don't get that breath.
You find the bit.
I'll take care of this.
OK.
Because we've got well off topic.
The top six other celebrities that should trademark properties
like Alicia Keys or Alicia Tees.
Number six on the list, if you're after the mountain this winter,
what better than the Taylor Swift chairlift?
Yeah, Taylor Swift chairlift.
Taylor Swift chairlift.
She could do that.
And I would say if you were to draw a diagram
between the rich white girls that go skiing
and the rich white girls that like Taylor Swift VIP,
I'd say there'd be a lot of crossover.
Yeah.
Then the local radio stations reading out the snow reports
would be like, the Taylor Swift chairlift is open.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's what they say.
Would you just call it the Taylor lift?
Taylor lift.
It has to be the Taylor Swift chairlift.
It could be, yeah, it might be a bit confusing otherwise.
You might have other Taylors jumping on like Taylor Lorna.
Oh, Taylor handsome.
Yeah, lots of Taylors.
Ross Taylor.
Number five on the list of the top six
other celebrities that should trade back properties
like Alicia Keys, Alicia T's, Mark Zuckerbergers.
Now I know that there's
Warburgers.
Mark Warburgers.
He could get it on a bit of that
and he could just have as much advertising.
Mark Zuckerberg just is so creepy.
He's not eating many burgers at the moment.
Nice.
Jack's ripped.
He's jacked.
It's gross.
Doesn't suit him.
No, it doesn't.
It is weird that it does look like AI.
It's going to be a nerd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Number four on the list of the top six other celebrities
that should trade back properties like Alicia T's,
Dwayne The Rock, Johnson, Wisconsin, Cheese.
It's a mouthful.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, great.
But Cheese from the heart of America's Dairyland, Wisconsin.
We thought he was selling rocks, but he's selling cheese.
He's selling cheese.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There was another one I could have run with Rock,
but it was not appropriate.
Number...
Dwayne The Rock, Dwayne The Sox, Johnson.
Yeah, that would have been good as well.
Dwayne The Sox.
Yeah.
Number three on the list of the celebrities that should trade
back properties like Alicia T's, Selena Gomez's Glow Fezzers.
Now, you're familiar with the Fezz, the hat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of sort of...
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like a little, like an Egyptian hat, the Fezz.
Round hat.
Brimless hat.
These are glow-in-the-dark Fezzers.
OK.
So Selena Gomez's Glow Fezzers.
OK.
There's a limited market for those.
I think she'll be able to sell it
because she's got millions of Instagram followers.
Yeah.
Number two on the list of the top six celebrities
that should trade back properties like Alicia T's,
the Tom Cruise booze cruise.
Yeah, that's good.
Yes.
I like that.
And the music choice is blues.
Yeah.
So you could say the Tom Cruise booze cruise.
Yeah.
Yeah, great.
On the Tom Cruise booze cruise.
Yeah.
Unlike one of those old Mississippi steamships.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Paddle stands.
Paddle stands.
Yeah.
You know what?
And number one on the list of the top six celebrities
that should trade back properties like Alicia T's,
the Rihanna banana.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Liking it to bananas.
Chiquita bananas, but the Rihanna banana.
And wait, has Chiquita got bananas?
Chiquita.
Chiquita.
That's why she owes Spain all those tax dollars.
Right.
Yeah, a lot of bananas.
Man, some people love bananas.
They do.
Me, count me in.
I'm one of them.
I love bananas.
That's the day's top six.
Play.
It is.
The man has been applauded online for...
Playing the man online.
The genius way.
Carwin just walked in with her toast and just started clapping.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll just...
We're applauding men, Carwin.
Great.
And Shannon.
And what a wonderful job they're doing, running the planet.
No?
Yeah.
No, now she's stopped the floor.
She's canceling her applause.
She's taking the clamps back.
Just how they're on top.
Can't take the clamps.
Well, you can take the clamps back.
You can.
It's like, just takes a week.
It's not like Tiggie.
Yeah.
You can't take your master.
Oh, right, yeah.
You can give that straight back.
You can.
Now, he is being applauded because he has come up
with a way to keep up with his wife's friends.
And I feel like his wife sounds like a bit of a Haley,
a collector of friends of sorts.
I thought you were going to say a bit much.
His wife sounds like she's a bit much.
I'm not a word.
Sorry, wow.
I think I'm just right.
I think I'm Kellogg's just right.
Now, she's got a lot of friends and he's always like,
I can't keep up.
You talk about Sandra.
Which one's Sandra?
Yep.
And then Becky came in.
Who...
Now, which one's she...
What's Becky's husband?
What does he do again?
So he keeps a notebook and you'll write a title like Becky,
husband, Mark, job, seamstress.
I don't know who Becky is.
Food allergies.
All right.
Doesn't eat pork.
Kids, hobbies, likes, dislikes, things he learns about her friends
so that when she starts talking about Becky and Mark,
he can flip through his book and go,
I don't know exactly who that is.
And how I'm supposed to know them and where my wife knows them from.
Why doesn't he just do what the rest of us do and just go...
Oh, yeah.
Can I mate?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then just go along with it.
Because he's in a tent of husbands.
How's work going?
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
I always used to do that one.
Yeah, how's it going?
Um, work.
I suppose you could call it work.
Yeah, between jobs at the moment.
Yeah.
See how long you can keep it going, Vaughn.
Okay.
You don't know me.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey, Vaughn, how are you?
Look at that man, how are you?
Yeah, yeah.
Bloody good, bloody good.
Wow.
You know, considering.
Oh no, what's happened?
You know she told you last week.
Yeah.
Are you...
Oh, there.
You're still on about that.
Jesus.
Is this all right?
I mean, I want to go over it.
It was a pretty major life event.
She was only your mum.
That's the right thing.
Oh, there we go.
I don't know.
What?
What a buzz...
No, I think, yeah.
We're still in it.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I think you do need a notebook.
Yeah.
How are the girls?
Well, who's...
What girls?
Your girls.
I don't have girls.
Yes, you do.
You've got two daughters.
I guess we're both confused who we're talking to.
Anyway, I'll catch you later.
No, you wouldn't last...
You couldn't even last a minute before your call out.
I'm tapping out.
Keep a little notebook.
What a great out.
But what...
See, some people just think this is creepy though.
Well, some people were like, it's weird.
Like, what if your wife found him?
Was like, why is he keeping tabs on my friends?
But he was like, he shared it on Reddit and was like,
this is what I do.
And then other people were like, no, it's fantastic.
If you don't have the ability to hold that information in your head,
why not?
Yeah, because I forget those little details about things.
He wants to be a good present husband.
Then when your friends come around, you can say,
Martha, I see that you're back in the saddle.
Because she's a horse rider.
She's a horse rider.
Right, yeah, right, yeah.
She'll be like, yeah, I am thinking you, Kevin.
Yeah, I wouldn't imagine anyone called Martha's back having sex.
No, no, no, she's definitely horsey.
No, she's a horsey.
Yeah.
Well, this is a good idea.
I think if your wife or your partner or anyone
is too many bloody friends to keep up with.
Get out of 1B5?
Is that the notebook?
Is that the 1B5?
The notebook?
Is that the little one?
No, it's not a 1B5.
You want the letters down the side like a spelling book.
Oh, no, like an address book.
Like a roller deck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can put it straight to their name.
Oh, address book's good.
Yeah.
Get yourself to the warehouse station and get an address book.
But if they're too much, get a 1B5.
And if you get a 1B5.
Hey, silly little poll.
Silly little poll.
It is so silly, silly, silly.
That's a silly little poll.
Silly little poll.
Silly little poll.
Silly little poll.
Silly little poll.
Have you started, Yain?
Christmas?
Thy old of shop.
What?
With two peas and an E.
Yeah.
Have you started your Christmas shopping?
89 days until Christmas.
That's nice.
That's time to film nice.
That's starting to get to like X amount of paydays.
You'll be able to say that's X amount of paydays
till Christmas.
Yeah, I know.
That's not as nice.
That's not as nice when you work that out.
Yeah, not nice.
Not nice.
22% of people will say, yes, they
have started their Christmas shopping, 78% have said no,
they have not.
When is that big Black Friday shopping thing that's
never as good a deal is it on?
No, isn't there something before?
Cyber.
Cyber.
Nice.
Cyber Mondays after.
Singles Day is the November the 11th.
That's a traditional Chinese shopping day.
Not for people who are single, by the way.
We made that mis-assertion a little while ago.
Someone said it's because it's like 1, 1, 1, 1 on the day.
Oh, OK, right.
That's what Singles Day.
Black Friday sales will be 24th of November of Nov.
But then we've talked before about those.
They kind of hike the prices pre so that any discounts
aren't actually that great.
You stay out for those massive Halloween sales.
Yeah, that's what you want to get in.
Pumpkin-themed gifts for Christmas.
Yeah, 100%.
Well, some feedback.
Ruby says no, but I've planned out most of my gifts.
So I guess if you've got them planned,
you can keep an eye on them for specials and such, right?
Yeah.
Kayla said no, because I'm all for the last minute.
Nothing like a panic shop.
Yeah, love it.
Sarah, because I'm only just back from maternity leave,
so I'm poor, so no, I haven't started.
Well, tell you what, Sarah, you don't have to worry
about this Christmas.
You've got a baby.
Also, with console-loving, the pressure's on.
It's going to be a strip-back Christmas presents-wise
in our house, definitely, because apparently interest rates
are going to go out.
Did you hear this?
Interest rates might pop up again before Christmas.
Wouldn't that be neat?
Wouldn't that be neat?
I'm locked in.
I'm locked in.
Loaded.
You're all locked in.
I'm locked in.
Loaded.
Oh, I've got a big chunk coming off soon.
Yeah, I know.
I reckon it's going to come off just in time for another pros like.
I reckon I'm just going to be there, burning, burning money,
burning it, burning it, burning it.
Who is that well-planned, says Emma?
Certainly not me.
Nervous laugh.
Smile cry.
Just get vouchers or experience.
Oh, my God, I love a voucher.
If you give me a Prezi card, 20 bucks on it.
I'm stoked.
It sits in my wallet and then one day I'll be like, ooh.
Oh, I've got that.
Yeah, totally.
Vanessa said, yeah, I've started a shop throughout the year.
And Joe's another one that does that, too, to spread the cost
and also ease the stress of panic buying.
Yeah, that is really good.
I will not stress.
You know, like if you're stressing about Christmas,
just don't don't do it.
Don't you know when people will understand.
Yeah, just don't tell you.
Now more than ever.
Like Rose, who said, I am refusing to be a part of any gift exchange in this year.
Yeah.
I want a little something.
No, no, you can't.
I want a little something to open on the day.
Emma said, no, I've got three November birthdays to get through first.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Linda says I've actually nearly finished.
Well, Linda organized, organized Linda.
That's what they call it.
They do.
Yeah, life admin Linda, and she's all over it.
So you've got 89 days left.
Well, my birthday's first.
Don't forget that.
That's just over just under two weeks.
Are we doing something?
We're just having drinks at the pump for your birthday.
Yeah, but also like going all the way there.
Well, it's eight minutes down the road for Vaughan, which is eight minutes.
Yeah, but that's like a fifty dollar Uber for me.
So you'll be split sharing it with other friends.
Yeah, but that's 25 each way.
So that's kind of my presence.
My presence is your presence.
Yeah, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
And maybe I'll buy it.
That's good.
Is that OK?
No, because the weddings cost you way more.
That's why we're coming to your wedding, too.
And now presents at your wedding is probably birthday and Christmas.
Yeah, that's enough because we've got to get the flights over there.
Yeah, that's going to cost a lot.
But you're already going to be over.
Like, there's no need to make a special trip.
Vaughan Hailey, very drunk on Friday, invited us to her wedding.
Oh, my God.
Interesting that she's backtracking now.
Interesting that she's backtracking.
No, I didn't say you're invited to the wedding.
I said, look, whoever's in Europe at the time to which the room said,
we all are.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I won't be because of those interest rates.
So she's talking about.
Yeah, that's all right.
Except you're you can just give me the cash equivalent.
Excuse me.
So bartenders are all chiming in and saying this is true
because a short clip from a bartender has gone viral
because she was saying how she tricks people who ask for stronger drinks
like a bit without wanting to pay a double shot.
Now, Shannon, producer Shannon, who has worked in a bar or in the hospital,
this is a thing people are like, make my drink strong.
Yeah. And they always say, I'd be like, do you want a double shot?
No. So that's a single this week.
Even a doubles week.
But I thought double was standard at bars.
Yeah, it depends.
But it's weak.
Yeah, half of what you pour yourself at home.
Yeah. And I'm thinking more cocktails.
This is more of a thing.
Yes, order a cocktail and then be like, it's too strong, too weak.
And then they don't want to pay for a stronger drink.
Yeah, because like 80 percent of cocktail ingredients
are not alcohol. Correct.
And so it's all just mixy wixie.
Yeah. So the trick that she revealed is that if I was to go
into a bar and ask for a stronger drink, one, they might change the glass
and make it even smaller so that some of the mix is going out.
But you've still got the same amount of booze and then they'll add
an extra bit of the sour element of the mix, like lime or lemon
or, you know, bitters or whatever, which in New Zealand,
if you're actually adding lime, it would probably be cheaper to add more alcohol.
Add more alcohol, but that makes it seem like that more like bitey,
like far out, you know, that's a good drink.
Is that is that what you do?
Yeah, absolutely.
And then there was another trick we used to do if someone kind of came back
a few times, this wasn't for nice customers.
This was when someone would real haggle you and they'd be like, make it stronger.
We would have a cup of spirits under the bar, just like a cup of vodka.
And you just dip the straw in there, chuck your finger on like siphon.
Yeah.
And just put a bit of vodka in the straw.
So that first sip tastes really strong.
And they go, oh, thank you.
And I give you a big tip.
And then I think this is some drink that give you a tip because they want
a more booze in their drink.
Well, why don't they just buy themselves another drink, another shot?
Another shot into their drink.
People are so dumb.
I think it's weird as well, because I was at a place where we would get tips,
whereas normally, I know, across the country tips aren't that common.
But yeah, so we would just kind of make them think the first sip of their drink
was quite strong.
And then that's genius, though.
That's really smart.
Hold your finger on the straw.
It's right there.
Yeah, so you're like, oh, get out.
That's crazy.
I've even seen some bartenders like pour it directly down the straw,
but I don't have the coordination.
I feel like then you'd be taking a shot accidentally.
Yeah, I've seen the dip in the straw.
How put your finger on the top, put it in and then just leave it.
And the alcohol sits in the straw.
So that first sips just really strong.
I mean, I'm also going to do that to myself at home with my little metal straws,
just a little kickity wickity.
Because I've got a hefty pour.
Because that might stop me doing a hefty pour.
I like to taste it, you know?
Yeah, well, otherwise, why wouldn't you just be having a lemonade?
Yeah, exactly.
Get a lemonade.
Oh, we're very smart.
Something I've noticed a lot lately.
And I don't know if you guys have noticed this, too.
What's irking, yeah.
It is.
It's irking me.
I noticed this on a couple of websites the other day,
ordering a few things and you go to like their, I don't know,
FAQs or there was a postage delivery kind of section.
And they're like, due to COVID, due to like restrictions at the moment,
due to like due to like staff shortages.
And it's like, is this still a thing?
No, I reckon it's because I had this the other day as well.
And it was like, you know, we're we're attempting to fulfill your order
as soon as possible, but due to COVID delays.
And I was like, what's done?
It's done.
What's the new variant?
Spirola, Spirulina, Spirulina.
No, but it's not even the code.
I don't know, just these weebs.
Like, I think I sent an email to someone yesterday and there's Spirulina.
Yeah, he's got a Spirulina.
Send an email to an organisation yesterday and they're like,
due to the overwhelming high demand at prison.
It's like, you can't see that anymore.
Get more stuff.
No one's like, no one has any patience for this at the moment.
Yeah, I also think they've just left shit on their website
and left like reply email bounce backs.
Yeah, I think so.
I don't I saw a chicken QR code on a door.
Where was I?
Like a COVID killer as a joke.
I opened up the app and scanned it because it's still because I deleted
that app from my phone, but does it still work?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
It doesn't do the the Bluetooth tracing anymore.
I got a notification the other day saying we're no longer
letting you know if you've been in close contact with someone.
Right, right.
But the same thing, like, take down your QR codes.
Like, yeah, they're not triggering.
We don't need the reminder.
I hate reminder of a simpler time.
I hate walking into a shop and you see them.
You just like, well, you do a shutter.
It's like, come on, we're moving on.
I know. Yeah, it's horrendous.
Update your websites.
Update your bounce backs.
Send me my parcel.
Where do you order?
What are you shopping for?
Well, no, when I got the bounce back about the overwhelming demand,
that's when I was complaining about my parking fee at Auckland Airport.
You're such a bum.
Well, so they said we were going to struggle to get back to you.
Yeah, due to overwhelming to blah, blah, blah.
But it is busy at the moment.
You were there and it was busy.
And that was why you were delayed,
get into your car park and you were charged more.
So you lived through their busyness.
No, it's not the pandemic anymore.
You get more staff.
I think that's what they're struggling with though, isn't it?
Yeah.
But then no one wants to pay anybody.
Also, no one wants to deal with you.
It's just pay up.
And they just hoping that'll be enough and you'll give up.
No, it needs your $25 from the quoted parking amount, Haley Sproul.
Is that 25 bucks that's going to, that'll end you?
It's not, it's the principle.
You're a childless homeowner.
It's the principle.
Oh my God.
Not what I thought you were going to call him.
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This happened the other day at home
when Shade was stropping around.
Oh, she's stropping?
Stropping around.
No, she was just like,
Who's left this here and get the stuff off the bench?
She was just stropping about walking around.
As she was walking around,
I started going doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing,
as she walked.
Wow.
He's got a death wish.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know what was happening there.
It just was funny.
And then when she stopped, I'd stop.
And then she'd start again and go doing, doing, doing.
How?
Doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing.
And then she'd slow right down to see
if I was doing it in time with her feet and I was.
And then I said, man, that's a fun noise to make.
Doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing,
tongue control required.
If she won't be able to do it,
he's got terrible tongue control.
Doing, doing, doing, doing.
Oh, wow.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Your spring's broken.
Doing, doing, doing.
I sound like one of those things behind the door,
you know.
Yes.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing.
So that was my, she was walking around
and I was doing that.
So that was a fun noise to make.
Yeah.
I'm not very good at noises.
No, you're not.
Nah, you're not.
You're not in a strong suit.
And then I was like,
we will do a phone-in topic
on what is your favorite noise to make.
And I mean, look.
I've got a goodie.
I've got a goodie.
Yeah.
That's pretty amazing.
I reckon breathe across
because we're hearing too much breath
and not enough to weep.
That's better.
That sounds like a drip, doesn't it?
So good, Aimee.
I could work in folly there.
Thank you.
I was derailed.
Thank you.
Someone did it to once and told me,
I think my cousin taught me how to do it.
You go, like blowing out
and then you flip the bottom of your chin.
And I can't do it.
I can't do it because I think I can't get enough.
You can't get enough.
Your head absorbs too much shock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what do you want people to do?
Call out to me.
Do the best noise they can do with their mouth.
No, no, no.
Just their favorite noise to make.
By the way, behind the scenes,
this boy's been like,
we should do this thing.
We should do this.
And everyone's been delaying it.
And I said, we do it tomorrow.
We keep pushing it.
We keep pushing it.
We do it tomorrow.
So I can't do it then.
I was, as a kid,
I was constantly told to stop making that noise.
Like, really?
Because I'd make a noise
and then my parents would be like,
please stop that.
Because I would just do it over and over and over again.
And I used to get told off when I worked at the petrol station.
I should have told them to shove it up their arse
because they were only paying me $4.
I used to walk around the forecourt
doing that multi-finger clicking.
Oh, my God, that would be annoying, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but I managed,
they weren't paying me enough to really care too much about it.
Yeah, they were like,
please stop making that noise.
You've got to take home the adult magazines
with the covers ripped off the front of them.
So I don't know why you're complaining.
No, because they never work Sunday nights.
And that's when they came for the magazine covers.
Oh, no.
Scott worked Sunday nights.
Oh, Scott's a bastard.
He's always requested to work Sunday nights
so you could get the Rudy mags.
Yeah, because he's like, oh, I do other stuff during the week
in days so I'll work nights.
Yeah.
It was fully for the Rudy mags.
Yeah.
Fugger mate.
Fully for the Rudy mags.
Cut the cover off.
Send them back.
And then you get to keep the Rudy mags.
Like at the end of the week, a Rudy mag expires.
Yeah, I know.
It's so weird, yeah.
Oh, my God, look at the new edition.
It's the last week's breasts.
Oh, I can't look at those.
That's not going to do the job.
It is February.
I will not be looking at January's breasts anymore.
They're already out of fashion.
Yeah.
Doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi.
That's the noise they make.
Doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi, doi.
You are proposing that people call on the radio show now.
Yes.
And make your best noise.
Well, your favorite noise.
I'm looking forward to this.
Your best of your favorite noise.
It doesn't even have to be like,
it doesn't have to be a groundbreaking noise,
but if you're like good at noise and making art noise.
You can just be like, ah!
Many people are good at noise.
Well, she's not going to be really good at dogs or birds.
This person messaging on the phone saying,
I can whistle like a bellbird when I've got nothing to do.
Come on.
What about toies?
People that can do the toie.
Oh, yeah.
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
It's that.
It's that.
That the toie do that I can't quite roll into
off a whistle.
There you go.
There's your best noise.
I've been out of nature.
Ah!
Jesus, the birds in town are different
to the ones out west, I tell you.
The fantail's easy to do.
I'll teach you right now.
Okay.
Lick your knuckles.
The ones that are closest to your fingernails.
Not the big, grumpy knuckles.
What are these?
A secret trick.
No.
And suck.
Oh, that sounds disgusting.
It sounds disgusting.
It's a fantail.
Mine is so weird.
Yuck, yuck.
My fingernails.
You over licked your fingers.
I do over licked the fingers.
You over licked.
Okay, so I'll wait a hundred dals at him.
I don't know how successful this is gonna be,
but we have to do this.
Otherwise, Vaughan said he was quitting.
Yeah, we need him.
Despite the fact that mortgage rates are going up
and he will have no other way to pay his mortgage.
Yeah, I'd love to see him walk.
I'd love to see you walk, but it's not gonna happen.
I'm just in the whole place there.
I'll wait a hundred dals at him.
Give us a call.
You can text through 96696.
And make a noise.
Make a cool noise.
The best noise you can make.
Make a fun noise.
It's really a chance for you to show off your noise, isn't it?
I love the people texting and saying,
I can do this noise.
Well, it's no good twist.
Sure.
You're cool.
Well, we can't hear it through your texts.
Vaughan said, I want to do this phone in Taipei,
or I'm quitting, and I've been pushing for Wax
to get this off the show, to keep it off the show.
Oh, no, it hasn't been Wax, it's been.
Oh, it's been months.
It's been years.
He's been trying, but today was the day
that Vaughan gets his way,
and Vaughan wants people to call up.
And I'll say, I don't think the phones are...
No, the phones aren't ringing.
No, they are.
Oh, there's a couple of calls.
Yeah.
It's not as, I just thought people might have wanted
a sort of a way to express themselves.
Oh, people love making noise.
People aren't show ponies like you.
Mm, yeah, that's true.
People aren't show-offs.
People don't have noises.
People do have noises.
No, they don't.
Everybody's got a noise deep inside them.
They just don't know they can do it.
They don't.
Somebody said, I didn't even know I could make
the do-y-oy-o-ing noise, and I can't answer.
Well, Haley's got a better day.
Haley's drip noise really set the bar, I think.
See, that's a good noise.
God, that's good, ain't it?
How you die just don't know...
That's the important bit, the slap of the skin,
because that's the slap of the drop on the water.
It hurts.
It hurts.
Pain is, you're feeling pain for your art.
You don't say, ah, as you flick your chin.
Because that overrides the drop.
Yeah, but it's not, I'm not getting the drop noise when I...
No, you're not, you're not even making the...
Oh.
Oh.
No.
I think I made it, and you bloody yapping all over it.
You've got to get the...
Yeah!
Yay!
Good work, that was really good.
That's nice.
Somebody said it's a slow radio day.
It's the day's as fast as we want it to be, mate.
Yeah.
It can be a slow radio, it can be a fast radio day.
It's just that Vaughn has crowbarred in this terrible idea
for a phone and topic, but we are having it.
We do have a couple of calls.
Cassinia, good morning.
I make this noise a lot now.
Good morning, hi.
Good morning.
You finally heard a radio topic that you thought
I can call in for this one.
Hmm.
Are you a long-time listener, first-time caller?
Yes, first-time, yes.
Oh, welcome, welcome, welcome.
Now, what is the noise that you can make?
Well, I can do cat, hiss, and fight.
Oh, give it to us, give it to us.
I like that.
Yeah, I'm here for it.
Okay, all right, okay, go.
Which one do you want to hear?
Oh, let's go cat, hiss, hiss, well, what about both?
Let's do both.
Okay, hang on.
Okay.
That's good.
They do do that.
They do that.
They wind up like a siren there.
We're gonna be singing all the people listening at home.
She's out on the street, we're out on the street.
And then they're getting at that low belly.
And then we're like, oh god.
Wow.
Wow.
To be honest, I actually did it once to the cat.
And they actually, they were like, what?
What's happening?
Oh, the cat's here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're hissing and now the cat's speaking in.
Yeah, you're like, the cat's like, what?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, the cat just said, what?
Fantastic.
Thank you so much, George.
Good morning, George.
Yeah, good day.
How are you guys?
I don't know if you're going to beat a cat fight.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, have you ever heard of the blue chop?
What?
The poo kicker?
Yes, yeah.
I'm a blue chop farmer in Hawkes Bay.
OK.
You don't actually farm them.
They're just everywhere, aren't they?
Well, they're pretty much farm.
They don't leave them.
I get it.
I live in Auckland and I've got two of them.
What do you, what do they sound like?
They do.
That's so noisy.
They're the worst native bird.
Can we get it one more time, please, George?
Sounds like something else, I've got to tell you.
That'll set the cat off.
And George sings.
Wow.
OK, I'll come around.
I like this phone and topic now.
I've been highly entertained.
I've been crying with laughter.
Someone said, Outcome the Gremlins.
That's what's happening right now.
Someone can do a whale.
Don't text in, Sarah.
Are they?
They're not here.
I want to hear the whale.
Yeah.
I think we'll put an end to this.
Someone said that they were the one that said
they could do a bell bird.
And then we did the 2E with the eh on the end
and they said that's the main difference
during the 2E and a bell bird.
They did, though, didn't they?
Oh, it goes without saying.
It's a fantastic noise you made there.
We've all discovered something today.
Yeah, perfect.
Oh, my God, it's a two-person job.
Taylor Swift, you might have seen this over the weekend.
She was at a...
Baseball.
Football.
Football.
Miami Dolphins.
Absolutely destroyed them.
Sports, your absolute forte.
Sports is my thing, especially American sports.
It was like one point off being
the biggest defeat of all time in the NFL.
Wow.
How do you know that?
I'm crazy for the dolphins.
Is he in the Dolphins' fellow
or is he in the Chicago Bears?
He's in the Chiefs?
Yeah.
The Bears weren't playing in that game.
Is his brother in the...
No, no one's in the Chicago Bears.
This is Taylor Swift's new boyfriend.
Suspected new boyfriend.
It was the Denver Broncos
that the Miami Dolphins beat.
It's irrelevant.
She attended an American football star
Travis Kansas City Chiefs game
against the Chicago Bears.
So he played the Chicago Bears.
Apparently, and she was there watching with his mom.
And everyone was like,
wait, and apparently they were dating.
And then afterwards,
she tried to go out for dinner.
And apparently, she went into a restaurant
and then paid for everyone in the restaurant
to essentially finish your meal
and get the hell out of here.
And get the hell out of there.
Paid for them all so that she could have
their whole restaurant for her
and this Travis fella.
Is this Wright Swifties at the booth?
Yeah.
So basically, a while ago,
he went to her concert
and said, wow, that's a good move from them.
Actually, that's hot.
And so then when he was asked about this
on a sports radio show,
he said, I'd love for her to come watch me
at the same stadium that I watched her play.
Right. Oh, cute.
So that was this weekend. She was there.
Now, we're not sure if they're dating.
We're not sure if they've met before this,
but they were seen leaving the game together
in a convertible.
Hot.
So it's not hot if the stance raining.
Then you're looking around
and the whole cars soaked.
She was seen like really cheering from the box.
He kept,
supposedly, he kept looking up towards the box.
He was mic'd up a few times.
Why did you put a B in, supposedly?
Supposedly.
No, you said again? Supposedly.
I didn't know if you did this.
Supposedly. Yeah, supposedly.
Whatever.
God, we're talking about Taylor Swift.
It doesn't matter.
He wears two earrings.
That's it.
He's got one in the gay ear.
He's got one in the gay ear.
He's got one in the straight ear,
and he's got one in the gay ear.
Oh, God.
What does that mean?
I still don't know which is the gay ear.
Is it the left or the right one?
It was never a gay ear.
It was never a gay ear.
It was a gay ear.
I'm just having a look to see if I think
if he's a cutie. He's not my type.
Oh, really?
He is. He is.
Oh, yeah, but apart from that,
he's got a beard. I would have thought
he's totally your type.
No, the short he has thrown me.
He does look a little bit like
a country singer, though, eh?
Yeah, and he's quite goofy and fun.
He's 6'5", 113 kgs.
33, so he's the same age as
Taylor Swift.
If someone, if someone,
if you're in a restaurant...
Did they know that Taylor Swift was paying
for their meals?
I'm not sure, but I think people kind of
put the dots together.
No surprises, Georgia Burt's just messaged.
He's so hot.
It's totally her type.
Yeah, she would say that.
He's got country vibes.
He could easily be from Canterbury.
Absolutely.
No, Otago.
Really?
Yeah, okay.
A little bit bigger.
Well, stay tuned, I guess,
to see if he becomes
Ms. Swiftie's new lover.
We were over in Melbourne for the weekend, together and separately.
Yeah, because I had you filming on Sunday.
I was filming on Sunday,
and on the Sunday,
I went to get a quick bite to eat
before I headed to the studio.
And I was sitting in that...
It was like...
I was in a really small,
not great restaurant
in South Yarra, Melbourne.
Okay, it's the Yelp review.
I was on my own.
And then I was just...
I had my laptop and I was like,
you know, doing a bit of work.
And then I just heard this like...
And I was like,
someone's got the same name as me.
Interesting.
And then quite loudly,
I heard like,
and I was like...
And I turned around and I looked at the screen.
So there was highly,
so they were like,
that B-I-T-H...
Pretty beautiful woman.
To die for.
No, it was like they were trying to figure something out.
It was like a weird...
It didn't sound like they were calling my name.
It didn't sound like they were...
It was weird.
They didn't know what they were saying.
They were talking about you, not to you.
Yes. And then I turned around and that was exactly it.
I was like, why aren't they looking at me?
Did they just sort of yell out,
and then turn away?
And then I looked at them and I was like,
hello?
And then they looked at me and they went, hi.
Oh my God, how desperate it was there.
I know.
I was just...
Who are you?
And they just looked at me.
No, I don't do a lot there.
And then I just looked at them and then I said,
hello? And then I said, hi.
And then one of the girls looked at me and she was like,
and then I went, did you just say my name?
She was like, are you Hailey Sproul?
And I said, yes, I'm Hailey Sproul.
She was like, what the hell?
Like, what are you doing here?
And then she just goes crazy.
And she was like, are you actually...
Oh my God, it's Hailey Sproul.
And she was like, this is the thing, this is the thing.
What are we talking about?
And these two girls who are with one guy,
we're talking about GirlMath.
And they were trying to tell him,
and they were showing him videos,
because he's obviously been living under a rock
and hasn't seen one himself,
of GirlMath.
And they would just happen to be talking about GirlMath,
and then one of the GirlMathers
just happened to be in that restaurant,
even though I'm from a different country.
Their mind was blown.
That's pretty nuts.
Circumstance that they just happened to be talking
about GirlMath in a restaurant,
that I just happened to be in.
And they were Aussies.
Yeah, we're trans-Tasman guys.
We're global.
So they weren't Kiwis living in Australia.
No, they were Aussies.
They were Aussies.
No, stop it.
Just jokes.
Just jokes.
Well, hopefully they bloody GirlMath their lunch,
because it was expensive.
Oh, it really hits.
So this is, here comes the review.
Yeah, and I was good.
It was just, it was like a Vietnamese
style street food style place.
What, like a...
Like I got a couple of...
Summer rolls.
Summer rolls.
Was it a fa?
There's a fa.
Burmachelli salads.
Yeah.
Crispy duck.
Real deep.
Yeah, anyway, I've got to tell you, it tickled me.
It tickled me somewhat.
And it tickled them too.
Imagine just talking about someone.
And then they just there.
You're like, what?
Like some kind of magic or something.
Who are you talking to?
Why are you talking about me?
Hailey Sproul.
They really hit the sproul.
Play.
This study that we're talking about here
was completed by a
adult Funtoy
site. Okay.
They run some great surveys.
Yeah, they do. It's just New Zealand.
So it is New Zealand. Or is it overseas?
No, this is in the UK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, I imagine it's similar.
They found that one in 10 women
in particular admit that they do not
feel comfortable talking to their partner about their own
sexual desires.
Trust me.
We'll probably be into it.
No, 31% said
they're more likely to
reach the peak of the mountain,
shall we say? Yes.
While enjoying solo
time, more likely
when they buy themselves and with their other half.
So when Fletch goes on a hike, you know,
he's always waiting for somebody else, but he's buying
South and just power up that mountain and get it done.
Exactly. I'm talking about doing the Tongarero
crossing soon. I almost don't want to do it
because I'll be waiting like five hours at the end.
No, you have to go on your own.
Do you have any optimism here
or are you actually going to do the Tongarero
crossing? What is the optimism
for a Tongarero crossing?
A couple of wet lakes in the middle.
Oh, my
god.
There are two crater lakes,
Carwin. Don't call us that.
Don't call us crater lakes.
And they're really beautiful and blue.
High altitude.
Yeah, they're a bit of snow at the moment, so don't do it now.
Among the top reasons for finding it easier
to please themselves, then being pleased,
knowing their body better,
tapping into their own fantasies
without having to explain them, not feeling
rushed.
And then all the inhibitions
and insecurities go out the window in them by themselves.
I mean, I can understand that.
Anyway, so we asked
our very own sort of
series of questions, didn't we,
of what are you not comfortable
talking to your partner about when it comes to
intimacy?
An anonymous question, anonymous.
An anonymous question box.
And we have some responses.
We do.
That he needs to be more sensual and
adventurous to satisfy me.
Now that is from
a female.
I think they say the name. I was like, no, no, no.
To avoid this, I've had their
names cropped off.
Just in case. You can't be trusted.
It needs to be more sensual and adventurous to satisfy me.
And then they've done the face
that's like, with all the teeth showing
and then are
boring. Do you think it's hard because they're
so into the relationship, it's too late
now for this chat? No, that's the best
time, I reckon.
What do you got to lose? Is this the person you know the most?
Why not?
I mean, I know it's hard. But how do you bring it up?
Hey, how's it going? You suck
at pleasing me. No, never like that.
No. I don't know.
We should have got Lady Morgan in to talk about how to approach this.
Yes.
She would say Gensley.
We've got someone of an adventurous
chat myself.
A few drinks.
And then just start chatting about it.
Send them a
message during the work day.
Nope. That could be hard.
Well, I need you to
be more adventurous.
That could start there, you know,
lead by example.
The other thing is this person leading by example.
Or are we just expecting
someone to read our mind?
That could be the desire is that they want to be
lead to the world of adventure.
You need to lead.
For sure.
Communication.
We don't need Morgan for that.
We know that.
High five.
You go so hard when you high five.
That's really hard.
It's stinging my hand.
You've opened up to me now.
I know you needed a more sensual high five.
A sensual high five next time.
High five my butt.
Great. We're all opening up here.
Group actor.
This is the next submission.
Group activities.
I'd love to, but I know she'd never.
You don't have a problem with
the fact that you're going to bring up.
You just got a problem that you want something that she does not want.
That's a different problem.
If she doesn't want it,
it's not going to happen.
You could keep asking.
You're talking about a shore shank.
You're talking about Chinese water torture.
Just a drip, drip, drip.
Drip.
Say it over and over and over again.
Reminding them to get,
this is another person, another submission on
what you aren't comfortable
talking to your partner about.
He's flustered, isn't he?
This one's confusing.
Reminding them to get tested regularly
even if they're monogamous.
If you're monogamous,
you suspect that they are not monogamous.
That doesn't sound like a relationship.
It sounds like a friend with benefits situation.
It may be.
Also, when I get a pap smear,
they'll always do an STI check
even though I've been with my partner for so long
and she says, I've heard that so many times.
Oh, you don't need to do that.
Really?
And the amount of times they should be like, well, how have you got Chlamydia then?
You or him?
You can get it from the toilet.
I think I got it from the swimming pool.
Yeah.
Other things people aren't comfortable
talking to their partner about.
Anonymous submissions from listeners.
Scheduling it.
I find it weird to discuss this
and I'm not sure how to approach it
but I feel like if we don't put some plans in place
it can be a long time between.
Sorry, but it's not sexy to say on Thursday
at 5.35 we're going to get...
Hey, is Taco Tuesday sexy?
You're damn right.
Well, that's a perfect day to do it, isn't it?
I have to do a taco.
I have to do it.
Sprout that in the comment about the lake.
You're canceled.
Excuse me.
I get too full.
I got the tacos.
Maybe it's better for you at 4.35
before dinner.
I'll keep eating until all the tortillas are gone.
I don't want them going in the fridge.
They just don't warm up the same.
By the way, this isn't a euphemism.
I'm just very passionate about homemade Mexican food.
Okay, next one.
Do it.
Relations at a certain time of the month.
I'm too scared to ask my partner
if he's into it or not.
Some women, they're all for it.
Yeah.
Can't hurt to ask.
If he's like, oh, gross.
You're broken up with better to know that now
than someone like that's going to gross a guy out
and scare him off.
When you're giving birth to his child
and he's like, oh, God, no, yeah.
If a woman ever comes up to you
and says, hey, would you ever do this?
Don't say, ooh, gross.
Even if you want to say, no, I'm not into it.
Just say, I'm not really into it. Don't say, ooh, gross.
I haven't extended my knowledge
not into it.
This comes...
Interesting.
This one's a bit dangerous.
This one comes to us from a male...
Okay, now for women's camps.
A male submitter.
A submitter.
I want to know if she will
restrict,
grasp me around the neck.
Oh, okay.
You can say choking, but then in this
right field of play,
choking is a weird word to say, but
yeah, I want to know if she'll choke me.
You can ask.
I'll just guide her hands there and see what happens.
There you go. That's someone who's done it before.
And initiating it.
This is a conversation.
This is another one.
This is the other one.
Wait, so they don't know how to talk to their partner
about initiating.
Yeah, they want the other person
in the relationship to initiate it.
And the final one, someone just said all of it.
Why is it so awkward, but I can easily
talk about it to other people that I'm not intimate with?
I know it is.
But then the person you are intimate with talking about any
aspect of it is more awkward than just
doing it.
Yeah.
So there's lots of people out there as well.
It's all about communication, isn't it?
Delicate communication.
We did not do a great job dancing
around those ones.
There were other submissions that would have
been even harder to dance about.
Yeah, so we'll leave those out.
But Mia, like you say, just communicate.
Just communicate.
It's important.
Fact of the day is next.
We've got a week, haven't we? What's our week this week?
The fact of the day.
Ancient Rome.
Oh my God.
That's all you guys ever think about.
It's all guys think about.
Yeah.
Fact of the day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Day.
Today's fact of the day is
it's ancient Rome week.
Yeah, good.
Lots of great weird facts about ancient Rome.
Here for it.
Yesterday we talked about the gladiator
energy drink that was goat
dung and vinegar.
Wow.
Often powdered.
Yeah, right.
G-goat gives you wings.
It gives you horns.
Is that what G-forces?
Man, I used to drink those.
That's why it's not around anymore.
Everybody said finding out what was in it.
So today's fact of the day is about gladiators.
Another sort of one about the gladiators.
Not the energy drink they used to
drink.
But the fact that
if they lost
in battle and they would die, they would bleed out
that their body was used for medical
purposes.
The blood of wounded gladiators
was sometimes
drunk by the rich folk.
Yeah, I know the rich ones.
Because they believed they could cure epilepsy.
Why epilepsy?
Don't know.
Because they were such strong
characters.
Also, after they'd been in the arena,
even if they hadn't fought to the death
or they were very
sweaty when they'd come off, they would
collect the sweat of gladiators
and use it in
cosmetics.
A wealthy woman would use it as face cream
or perfume.
Because they admired these
gladiators and strong men so much.
Yeah, the gladiators were sort of held above
the rest of
the population
because everybody loved them so much.
And different body parts
were used for different things. Their hair was used
as good luck charms.
Apparently collected in pockets and stuff.
Modern day equivalent of
the all blacks coming off of Eden Park
were like, scrape them down.
Scrape them down for the sweat.
You maybe take a little bit of hair
from Will Jordan.
Yeah, why not?
You take a Barrett's pair of undies or something
for whatever reason.
Whatever reason it's up to you.
Speaking of post-match
and undies, did you see the Warriors
sitting around in their undies after the weekends game?
Feeling sorry for themselves.
No, they were just having their post-match wine
down in their chat after they'd lost.
What was the sponsor or something?
No, they were all sitting in their undies though.
I just thought I'd chuck that out there for anybody who's
maybe missed that.
They wouldn't be jockey because that's the all blacks.
Or they be.
Where would Hailey find that for them?
Pleasure State.
Pleasure State.
No, I reckon there'd be a few of them
would wear those Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday undies.
Tradiundies, they very well might.
But yeah, today's fact of the day
and the second day of the Ancient Rome
is the first day of the weekend is a new theme.
Fact of the day week.
Fact of the day of the week?
Yeah.
Is that, are parts of gladiators be used for upbeat
areas?
Non-Gladiat risk,
ppp masse.
Fact of the day.
Day day day day falando
Now, how do we, I can't even remember how we got into talking about hurting tail bones,
some story and then I talked about the time that I chipped my tailbone and the pain was
so excruciating that I like drove hovering and then I got to my parents house and I had
a hot shower and the whole combination of pain and heat made me hit the deck and then
my mum had to come in and see me nude and the the idea that they hadn't seen it since
when was the last time they saw it? There's a time we're going to see your kids nude and
then you'll never see them nude again.
12?
Weird because usually I get emotional about these stories about a time that's not, yeah
that's not, that one is like one time, sometime your parents pick you up and they put you
down and they never pick you up.
Don't do that.
And that freaks me out.
I said to the girls every year on their birthday I'm going to pick them up because you'll
do your back out so hard.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
I think this came up again at the weekend because a friend said they sat on a seatbelt
in an Uber or a taxi and it was one of those hard seatbelt kind of sticky out and it
just dropped them.
Yes, yes, that's what it was all about and it's like, it's so, so embarrassing when you're
like, oh yeah by the way since you last saw it, it became an adult when you've been naked
in front of your parents.
When was the last time you were naked in front of your parents?
Have you ever been as an adult?
It would have been when you were a kid.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, I think so.
Well, I want to know why were you, when did your parents see your naked adult body and
like what was the circumstance?
Maybe you had an accident, maybe you were really drunk, maybe.
Oh no.
I mean lots of mothers attend the birth.
Yeah, true, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they're going to see all of it.
Yeah, that would be weird, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be weird.
It must be wild for a mother to see their daughter going through what they went through
to have them.
To have them, yeah.
I imagine it's very emotional.
Yeah, yeah, be full on.
My mother would demand to be at my birth, I imagine.
I think you're going to say she'd demand an epidural.
Oh yeah, probably.
She'll have a sweet drug since she'll have one too.
My mum had me, she had some champagne in her system.
That's why I came out like...
Of course, yeah, that's why she's...
What was that?
What was that?
Can I have that again?
That's why she's a champagne hoover later in life.
Yeah, exactly.
So, okay, it's a weird one.
It is a weird one, but there are these circumstances where maybe they just walked in on you and
then they saw her.
Oh yeah, you hear about that happening when you're walking on...
What do you mean?
Adult times.
And then you're all out and about.
Shabumba.
Okay, Shabumba.
This is almost an impossible phone and topic, really, isn't it?
No, I reckon they'll be...
No.
Do you reckon?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll 800-dars at him.
We want to take your calls now.
Text through 9696.
When did your parents see your naked adult body?
I don't know if people are going to want to admit to this.
Well, someone's on the phone now.
All right, give us a call.
Now, asking you now to call in or text.
When was the last time your parents saw your naked adult body?
Why?
What happened?
Yeah, because, I mean, like you say, there's just a time when that's it.
Yeah, I guys stood up out of the bath and then I bloody hit the deck and what am I going
to do?
Some Instagram responses because we asked there, Anne said when I had to run from the shower
to my room as I forgot to tell.
Classic.
You know, you do that thing when you pick up from the door and you just scream.
Ma'am, ma'am, I need a towel.
Owen says yesterday when they were babysitting my four-year-old and I was getting ready
for work.
Oh.
Were they barged in?
Wow.
You barged out?
The four-year-old kicked the door open.
They chased them in.
I don't know.
Um, breastfeeding a week after birth to be telling us, I didn't care.
Yeah, totally.
I was on the stage where I gave a damn.
Breasts are different after birth.
Yeah.
There's lots of those stories about people whose mother, mothers more than fathers were
there during birth.
We'll talk to some of them next because there is, keep your texts coming in.
Good Lord.
I wanted to know when your parents saw your naked adult body as my mum did after I had
slipped.
Well, I fainted after I had a sore tailbone and I was neared and the messages were going
to get a lot.
I mean, a lot of birth ones, obviously.
Yeah.
It's almost like the birth, motherhood, breastfeeding thing is almost like a different nude body,
isn't it?
Because it's so functional in that moment.
Yes.
I mean, I wouldn't know.
I haven't had a kid.
But that is, like, generally people are like, body.
Yeah, you're not going like, oh my God, how embarrassing.
Look at my breasts.
Could have been on a billboard.
Yeah.
Anonymous joins us.
Anonymous, you were staying with your parents and they saw your naked adult body.
Yes, they did.
I was really sick and was in the shower and passed out in the shower.
I managed to get out and walk up the hallway with a towel on and passed out again.
The towel fell off.
I ended up pooping myself.
On.
Oh, darling.
On.
Oh, no.
You fainted.
Now you're naked and then you share yourself.
Yeah.
And then my mum found me, took me to the shower again.
Had another shower.
So she had to shower you just like she did when you were a kid?
I feel like the worst, I mean, at least it was your mother and not like a boyfriend
or like a friend or something.
Exactly.
And I'm so sick that I just didn't care.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh my God.
Poor thing.
Anonymous, thank you.
Some messages then.
Maybe that should have been the phone.
When did your parents see your naked and you share yourself?
Doubling down.
Any good, any texts that start, so do not call me back.
Love it.
Always good.
Always good.
I was engaging in, I think they call it self.
No, no, no, with boyfriend.
Okay.
With boyfriend.
Let's just say I was on top.
Yep.
Facing the other way.
I was playing cowgirls.
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Cowboys and Indians.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My parents were home.
Oh, that's such a terrible.
My mum saw my naked bodies when I was drunk on Christmas Eve.
I didn't make it to the toilet in time and my mum had to throw me in the shower.
There's another one.
Wow.
Mum had to throw me in the shower afterwards.
Not my parents.
I jumped off a bully point in Topor and my in-laws were on a boat at the bottom.
I lost my tie at Bikini Top and bottom.
I had to climb up onto their boat completely naked.
You don't cliff jump in a bikini.
Not a string bikini.
A sensible one-piece.
Yeah.
Well, two reasons.
If it doesn't come off, it's going to cut you in half.
Yeah.
Absolutely will.
Oh, my God.
I saw my son's naked body when he sent me a dick pic that was meant for his girlfriend.
Oh, no.
I replied, wait, you don't see that every day.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I love the chill nature of that reply.
Hello.
What are we looking at here?
Yeah, what are we looking at here, Mum?
Oh, my God.
I was having a shower and my mother was there looking after my toddler at the time.
And the toddler booted up in the door and ran into the shower.
And my mum ran into the shower, too.
But then she slipped over on the tile floor and just landed straight at my feet in the shower.
Brilliant.
Okay, good.
Oh, my God.
He's like, squint back, crash up.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God.
This one, absolute doozy for you, fellas.
I woke up from a short stint and a coma.
What?
And my mother, father, and sister were there, which sounds great and was great until I realized
that I had a catheter in and then they had to whip it out of my literal vagina.
And I was so amazed at the little tube that I showed everyone.
I showed everyone my vagina and more specifically my whole urethra, props to anesthesia for bringing
families close together.
I was going to say, so they were out of the coma, but by the sounds of it, still very much under
the influence of some.
I just went, woof, what is this?
My 17-year-old and 20-year-old daughters are forever flashing with their nakedness.
I try not to react, but I act every time, which they find hilarious, which means they're
going to do it.
They share nakedness of your children.
They're just so entirely weird.
One of those nude families.
Yeah, nude families.
Mother-in-law saw mine.
I accidentally didn't make it to the shower when I went into labor.
So home birth it was, and she was helping the midwife deliver her granddaughter.
Wow.
So there you go.
I had really bad gastro.
What gastro seems to be?
Yeah.
It makes you vulnerable and weak.
Yeah.
It returns you to a childlike form.
Yeah.
And mum found me on the floor of the shower, completely naked, curled up and coming out
both ends, as well as just crying.
And mum patted me and said, it's okay, but then shut the shower door and walked away.
Oh, that's bleak.
Yeah.
And lots of people, lots of people saying, yeah, my mum saw me naked during birth and
I just didn't care.
Can I say this?
There's a really good naughty one.
Post-babies, trying to get back in touch with my body.
I was having some fun alone with some toys.
My mum lewed herself into my house and barged in on me.
I died.
Oh, my God.
Changed the locks.
I just never talked to her again, I guess.
Shivers, guys.
10 out of 10 podcast, that one.
Yeah.
I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't.
Or who was that, which one?
We'll just leave that.
We'll just leave that there.
Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review.
Please don't.
Unless it's a bad one.
Oh, yeah, don't bother.
Oh, yeah, don't bother.
Yeah, don't bother.
Don't bother.
ZM's Fletch Von and Haley.
Like iron, zinc, choline, B vitamins and protein,
it's vital for strengthening little minds and little bodies.
Making that first bite of beef,
a moment for everyone to savor.
Together, we bring more beef.
It's what's for dinner, funded by beef farmers and ranchers.
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