ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 25th August 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Flesh Fawn and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my MACAs rewards.

Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleece Fawn and Haley, it's Friday.

Did you know I woke up this morning?

Well, I didn't wake up, I woke up in a dream and it was 9.01 a.m.

And Aaron was like, did you go to work?

And I was like, no.

I have those dreams.

Yeah, and there was like nothing absurd about it.

I was just like, man, I had such a good sleep.

I just did not wake up.

So technically you've already done today.

You can just go home.

I've done a whole day already.

Day B.

Yeah, this is Day B.

Friday B.

More Taylor Swift tickets today.

You've got to be listening for that Taylor song at eight o'clock.

Then the song at midday and four to win the double pass to see Taylor Swift.

The top six on the way.

Yeah, sure is.

Have you not?

Nope.

Working on it.

Working on it, working progress.

Nothing's really jumping out of me.

Nothing's sticking.

I want it to be easy.

We want a fun Friday one.

Yeah.

OK.

What about top six things you're looking for when you come over to rummage through

my renovation skip?

Oh, he's not doing that.

Is this up in the skip?

Nah.

OK.

I'll help you put it in the skip.

Nah, it's going on Tuesday.

Tuesday, the skip's arriving.

Oh, the skip's not even here.

OK.

I'm going to come out of the pile.

Right.

Because we're almost done.

A lot of good stuff goes in the skip.

Yeah.

I only see skips around the city.

I'm just like, oh, that'd be cool to rummage through that.

It's quite fun.

You can really build a lot out of what we've got.

We've got, like, windows and wood and floorboards.

To the windows?

And to the walls.

Yeah.

To the sweat drips down my lower back.

Yeah.

The silly little pole on the way as well.

Is it OK ever to wear white at a wedding?

I can't say I've done it myself.

No, it's a ballsy move if you do.

It is ballsy.

It also depends on the style of the dress.

But I feel like I've been reading so many articles recently about women being like,

It's OK.

Look at this bee at my wedding in a white dress.

Yeah.

Next on the show, though.

Well, Mercury's in retrograde.

What?

Retrograde.

Mercury's in retrograde.

It's Friday.

People always say, oh, God, no, don't worry about me.

Mercury's in retrograde.

I'm just having a bad day.

Yeah, I know.

But I had to apologise yesterday for being snappy.

Oh, so this is why?

And I think I've figured out why.

It's because Mercury is in retrograde.

OK.

Can you tell me when we talk about this next what that even means?

Probably not.

Probably not.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, look at that.

OK, you give it a go.

Because it's an official astronomy term.

Yes.

Yes.

That astrologists use.

But it does something in particular to women.

Yeah.

Well, 40% of people are using astrology for something pretty major.

Play.

I'd like to just recommend a local business I've recently employed.

Vaughn's missed a minute.

Vaughn's just taken a watch link out for me.

And it's just a wonderful fixer.

I think you would love working at a tinkery place like that.

I would love to.

You know, he's my favourite dude on the repair shop,

the guy that does the clock fixes and the minute mechanical.

Vaughn, you can do that.

No, no, I don't have the eyesight for it.

And all the, like, I was going to say, your thumbs.

I've got a pretty steady hand.

You're quite chunky fingers for my new pieces.

Never get any complaints about my chunky thumbs.

Oh, God, no.

Maybe, though.

Your little lady fingers.

You see, I'd be getting in for a tank out.

Fine work.

You would be getting, you could get right over there.

You'd be a good tanker.

Terrible lesbian.

Yeah.

Great.

Now, have you figured out what Mirchah and Mirchah and Retrograde means?

I was actually doing my other job on this company's time.

I was doing my Vaughn Smith watch repair business.

Well, you figured that out.

What actually happens when Mercury is in Retrograde?

Because everybody loves to say it.

Well, Retrograde's like moving backwards, right?

Retrograde means to basically, like, retreat.

I'm sure that Mercury doesn't go backwards.

But yesterday, I was, I was a snip, snap, snappity do, right?

And then at one point, I heard it and I had to do it.

I had to do a little apology to Aaron.

I'm sorry.

I'm feeling sharp.

I said, perhaps, you know, my, my cycle's on its way.

And he was like, okay, I understand.

And I realized now it's not, it's Mercury.

Right.

It's in Retrograde.

Yeah.

And I don't know if this has any impact, impact on this survey result that found that 40%

of Gen Z's believe that astrology can help them make better financial decisions.

Are you kidding me?

But I hope Mercury doesn't impact that because it's already silly enough as it is.

Ty, what's the, what's, what's the stars going to tell you about your bank account?

Do they mean that they will read a horoscope and then from that decide if they're going

to make a purchase?

Make, like, finance, big financial decisions.

Is this something Shannon would do?

I feel like it is.

It does have a, yeah.

It's got big Shannon energy.

It's got big Shannon energy.

Shannon, do you use astrology to make any decisions whatsoever?

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, I knew it.

Like, I think it's because I feel like I feel like a Gemini.

So.

Okay, you what?

Like, I feel like I am a Gemini.

Right.

But you're not a Gemini.

Well, wait.

No, she is.

If someone told you you were a Virgo and you read Virgo.

Nah.

I feel like I feel like a Gemini.

So then I subscribed to the idea of astrology more.

If I was told I was a Virgo, I wouldn't believe in astrology.

Where's the paper?

Oh, the paper.

It's just been delivered.

It's just been delivered.

I'll read two completely anonymous star signs.

And then one of them is Gemini and she has to say which one.

Oh, yeah.

I like this.

Like, do you know what I hate?

Just as a side note, people that are like, oh, Scorpio.

We're snappy.

You're just a bitch.

Like, it's nothing.

Yeah, it's got nothing to do with what time of the year.

People.

You're quite a nasty person.

By the way, that is such a cancer thing to say.

Oh, my God.

It's full cancer energy.

Oh, my God, it is.

So apparently Gen Z is obsessed with astrology for a number of reasons.

Oh, my God.

It's personalized.

It's not.

It's not.

It's not.

It's vague.

It's genuinely not.

58% of Gen Zs think that they are, it's like personalized.

It's really not, guys.

No.

They say it's comforting.

The aim is it's generic in general so that you attach to it, right?

Like broad sweeping statements.

Right, go on.

Give us two.

One being Gemini and one being not.

And one not being Gemini.

Things go differently depending on who you spend the hours with.

Sometimes you forget you have a choice,

but it's one of the most important choices you make.

You are the casting director of your life.

Does that feel like your star sign?

I want to hear the other one before.

Your return to an old scene with a fresh perspective

and see the opportunity you missed earlier.

Also, you don't need anything extra here.

You can use what's there and shape it into something new.

No.

First one, hard.

I'm a casting director.

Nope.

No, Gemini was the second one.

Hardly.

Yeah.

Do me, do me, do me, do me.

You feel like a Capricorn.

No, I hate Capricorns.

What do you hate, Capricorns?

I don't know.

What is your star sign?

I'm Libra.

You're Libra, so I'll read Libra and I'll read another one.

And you tell me which one.

Remember when things went off plan, but you still help,

but you still sump.

That's all right.

It's okay.

You're a tinkerer.

They've made a spelling mistake.

Remember when things went off plan, but you still something

unexpectedly wonderful out of the day.

That's what it says.

Oh yeah, they've really made a mistake there.

Remember when things went off plan, these hippies,

but you still made something unexpectedly wonderful out of

the deal.

Well, this will happen again.

So try not to control the action too tightly.

You can trust life to delight you.

That's Libra's quite controlling.

So stick with your own purposes and projects today

and you'll attract money.

People want a chance.

People want to take a chance on you because of what you're doing

seems like a lucrative opportunity.

Number two.

Yeah, that was the Libra.

I'm a money attractor.

I think that was just the coolest sounding star.

You're a money spender.

I was just hoping number two was that.

I was hoping I'm going to walk around today attracting money.

Situations will bring out heightened emotions and relationships

have an intensity level that could get uncomfortable.

For these reasons, you'll need to make a conscious effort

towards moderation.

Fletcher, by the way, I'm doing two and you've got to pick which one.

Okay.

It's cancer.

Moderations in one of them.

You have to make a conscious effort towards moderation.

You got cheese balls?

You got a bag of cheese balls at home?

He's going out tonight.

Or it is brave to speak your mind,

but that doesn't automatically make it your best option.

That sounds great.

These are absolutely righting home to Fletcher.

Sometimes being vocal is not the kindest or most effective choice.

Think about the role of diplomacy and your overall strategy.

Oh.

I mean, both of those could have worked for me.

Do you know what it means when you don't put the title on it?

Yeah.

Oh, absolutely.

Which one was the cancer one?

The second one.

The one that was actually you to a T.

Think about the role of diplomacy and your overall situation.

Oh, my God, this is great.

I believe in astrology now, guys.

Yeah, same.

And now I'm going to let it dictate all of my financial decisions.

Mercury and retrograde is when a planet appears to be moving away from us

and it kind of can look like it's changing.

Right.

Direction, but it's not.

It's just right.

The way it's orbiting around us.

So, but yeah, or you could just be a bitch.

Yeah.

I think you're probably just a bitch.

Try to sleep more and drink more water and get some exercise.

And quit being a bitch.

Today's the little poll.

Is it ever a right to wear white to a wedding?

This is obviously not your own wedding.

This is when you're attending a wedding.

It says that only the bride should be wearing white.

Yeah.

It's sort of like a distraction, isn't it?

That's the main thing is the all eyes on the bride.

Not the, not the groom if there's a groom.

When I got married coming up 13 years ago.

Yeah.

It was big purple was a big color at the time.

Yes.

Oh, a lot of purple in the crowd.

Oh, so much purple.

A lot of purple in the crowd.

Why is there always purple at weddings?

Purple.

Like we just don't rock a purple in day to day life.

It used to be a, you know, the only people that ever wore purple.

I'm going back hundreds of years with royalty because it was such an expensive dye.

It was very hard to dye things and very expensive to dye things purple.

Yeah.

But now it's just synonymous with Cadbury and tacky.

Yeah.

Cadbury and Pagani.

Yeah.

Was pumpkin patch purple?

No.

No.

Isn't it?

No.

How orange weren't they?

Yeah.

Yeah.

At least it's a crown pumpkin that are green.

Yes.

Come in here with your crown pumpkins.

Bring me a butternut squash though.

Oh, yeah.

Every day.

We should write pumpkins one day.

Yeah, dude.

I'm so good for Friday rankings.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pumpkins.

Is it okay to wear white to a wedding?

10% of people said why not?

Sure.

And shrug.

Yeah.

90% said no way.

Do you think those 10% were just like...

Don't get invited to weddings?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not anymore.

Courtney says it's one day just for a different color.

It's really not that hard.

No.

It's really not that hard.

It's not.

Look, you'd get from everybody as well.

Not just a bride.

Especially if it's quite a formal dress you've got on.

Yeah.

And then it's white.

Yeah.

Like a gown.

It could be a bridal gown.

Yeah.

Ah, that is the one fashion rule of attending a wedding.

Yeah.

This is Rachel.

What about at a gay wedding when both the guys are in suits, like black suits or grey suits?

Like could you rock...

Could a woman wear a white gown?

Yeah.

Would that be allowed or could it die?

I've been to two gay weddings.

Yeah.

Did you wear white to either of them?

You were at both of them.

No, you were at both of them.

Well, like, obviously, did I have a white shirt?

Oh, yeah, you were allowed to wear a white shirt, though.

Yeah, you were allowed to wear a white shirt, but not.

But nobody was wearing, well, I can't believe that.

I'm sure there would have been.

But I guess it wouldn't matter, right?

Why he net and white?

Yeah.

Why he net and white is dancing with me.

The chicken dance.

Full of bits of weddings.

You've got to do the chicken dance at some stage.

Renee says, oh, when your sister-in-law wears a white dress

to your small wedding and then claims it's not white

because it has some flowers on it.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't realize that the flowers cancel that.

The very clearly essence of a white dress.

Yeah, that's just don't do it.

We're in the trouble.

There's some trauma there.

Josh says, no, it's somebody's special day.

And if there's even a small chance of it upset them,

don't do it.

And there's lots of other couples.

You're last time I checked.

Last time I checked, there are lots of other colors.

That's so true.

Yeah, he's not wrong at all.

You've been to a resin lately.

Oh, God, endless.

Good Lord.

So many colors.

Katie says, someone wore a white dress to my wedding.

Worst thing was, she was late.

So I was waiting for them to get into the ceremony

before I walked in and she walked in.

And everyone thought she was the bride and stole my glory.

Oh, what a bitch.

That hurts.

That hurts.

Dissone them, Katie.

Courtney says, what a shame if you were a white wedding

to my dress and I was to accidentally spill red wine on you.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, also, like I tend to get, I'll say it, sloppy at weddings.

Especially when there's a barter.

Just at weddings?

I hold off for weddings.

The rest of the time she's very much in control.

But I'm a, I slop.

I wore a white shirt out the other weekend.

I went home with like two espresso martinis down the front.

Yeah, I don't wear white.

My wedding suit is the same fabric

as the Auckland Transport bus seats.

It's very hard.

It's great.

Very busy.

Anna, you can rub some chuddy into your t-shirt.

You'll never notice.

Also, just a great fashion statement.

Yeah, just for you.

Really attention grabbing, chuddy me up.

I think people would wear t-shirts

with the bus fabric print on them.

I think it would be quite a statement.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, if they screen printed it on.

Yeah.

That would be a hot statement piece.

I'm not familiar with.

We should get that.

We should, if you are a listener

and you take public transport,

we should try to get the different patterns

of the different cities around New Zealand.

Because I'm sure they wouldn't be different.

They're quite different.

Yeah, they're quite different.

Like the trains are different.

We could release a range.

And some of the buses here have the ferns.

Yes, the great.

Yes.

That's a bit of me.

They're all made great t-shirts.

With Peytonness, you can't take that out of here.

No, no, no.

It's not our idea.

It's our idea.

I beat you.

Someone's done it already.

Bus seat t-shirts.

New Zealand.

New Zealand.

Okay.

It has been done.

It has.

Who's done it?

Let's see.

Let's see.

Unbelievable.

Ireland.

Lad Bible when your shirt matches the seat on a bus.

That may have been purely coincidental.

Oh, no.

We're going to do the New Zealand ones.

I think we've got to do the New Zealand ones.

Oh, that's a cool idea.

A sports team.

Yeah.

A Dublin sports team played their special uniform.

You know how they'll do the warriors do the retro week

or whatever.

They did a bus seat week.

And they made the uniform the same as the city buses.

Yes.

Yeah, let's do that.

I like that idea.

That's great.

We just had a brainstorm live on air there.

I like that.

That's fantastic.

I've seen a little bit of a glimpse of what happens

behind the scenes.

Yeah.

Just a peek behind the curtain.

I've seen how the sausage is made.

Oh, they still want the sausage.

That's a sign of a good sausage.

If you've seen how the sausage is made and you still want it.

That's good sausage.

Good stuff.

That's good sausage.

What do you mean Paula Bennett's already done it?

Producer Jared.

What do you, Paula Bennett?

I was Googling and there's a Reddit post of the awkward moment.

I think that's accidental.

Yeah, that's good gear.

That's good gear.

That's good stuff.

That's good stuff.

Paula Bennett hasn't.

That's pre-surgery Paula.

That's Paula and a Panini.

She is having a Panini.

Right, but she hasn't done the t-shirt.

No, no, no.

She just had a ghastly vest that looked like a bus leaker.

Okay, fantastic.

That fuel crisis averted there.

Paula's not coming for our idea.

That's a great idea.

That's a great idea.

Next on the show, scientists have invented something

that could finally solve all of our problems.

Oh, thank God.

Well, one minor problem when we go to the toilet.

Right.

So it's not climate change.

That's not fair.

Cancer's still around.

All right.

Inequality.

Yeah.

Oh, look, okay.

Not all of our problems.

Yeah.

Launching wars all the time.

Okay.

Not all of our problems.

Plastic in the oceans.

Asterisks.

Asterisks.

Well, researchers have developed a toilet.

Well, something like a coating that they can apply to a toilet

that will make them forever skid-free.

Skid-free.

Skid-free.

Slip on down and not leave a trace.

So Chinese researchers.

May my three cheese lasagna.

See you in the morning.

Do you want to maybe get in touch with the lab and say,

Yeah, I'd like something.

I'll test this for you.

So Chinese researchers have developed a non-stick toilet

bowl surface that they say will make brushes obsolete.

Wow.

Because the brushes are so mank, man.

How's your, because we talked a few, maybe a month ago about

toilet brushes being made.

My grab one, my grab one toilet brush.

And I told you about the silicon.

Yeah.

So I got one.

So it's like, it's a bit like plastic-y.

It's cheap ass.

Yeah, your hand.

Cheap and nasty.

So I checked mine when I got home.

Our handles are one piece.

Handle.

One piece handle.

I had to clip my hand.

So yeah, it's a bit, but you can hide it behind the toilet.

So you don't see it.

But I tell you what, the silicon toilet brushes, they're amazing.

He's on board.

You're on board.

He's on board.

Because when you, you know, when you use a brush and you do

the toilet.

Yeah.

And then you got to tap it.

You got to flip.

And then you flash and flip.

Yeah.

And then there's always a little bit of like dots of poops on

the brush.

Nothing.

Do you find this nothing sticks to the brush?

Yeah.

That's what I was telling you.

And I think because the, the nubs of silicon are so much

shorter.

Yeah.

There's not a lot of room for it to get lost in the brush.

And then it just comes off.

Yeah.

I need one that's aesthetically pleasing.

I know.

Okay.

So the bad news is there is not a single, there's not a single

silicon brush that is, it's, it's, it's aesthetically, aesthetically

pleasing, aesthetically pleasing, aesthetically pleasing, aesthetically

pleasing.

There isn't a single one that's been made.

Cause I, cause you know the toilet brush I was looking at close to

what's over $200.

And it's in a brass holder.

Yeah, but it's brass and our house is all brass finishings.

So I want that one.

But now you're doing, you just go for it.

Should I get some paint?

Oh my God, paint this silicon gold.

Yeah, that's not going to look good.

That's not a vibe.

Yeah.

No, just get one of these and hide it behind the toilet.

Yeah.

Or hide it behind someone.

Cause I tell you what, they're pretty amazing.

We don't, we don't have a behind the toilet.

To the side.

It's buff to the wall.

Oh, it's your toilet.

That's nice.

Thank you.

Can you hide it behind something like a bar, a wicker basket?

Maybe a toilet brush, roomless.

Where does the water come in from?

Man, where does it, from the ceiling and it's buffed against the wall.

That's good stuff.

Cause those are your two cleaning problems of a toilet.

You got to get behind it because the dust builds up and then the room,

you got to get up, up under it.

You just need the silicon brush or this new Chinese science.

I want the Chinese.

No, no stick.

That, that would be amazing.

Do you know who bloody sticks women?

God, sometimes you go into the work bathrooms and you're like,

open a cubicle.

Oh, fuck.

The, I don't get the next one.

Oh, fuck.

What do you mean?

I don't know what it thinks.

I thought you said sticks, sticks, sticks.

No, women, there's, whenever there's a phantom pool, it's always in the woman's.

Sticky, sticky poops.

Oh, really?

I mean, they don't clean up afterwards.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Women are absolute, so they get in there.

Is it that people don't want to touch the yucky brushes?

No, I just think that they're just,

someone else is probably your feral women everywhere.

Clean your poops.

Play ZM's Fletchboard and Ailey.

Play ZM from the bustling ZM think tank.

This is the top six.

Yeah, get out of there tonight.

Round 26.

The Warriors last home game of what has been a hell of a season for the Warriors.

Up the wires.

Up the wires.

It's way up the wires.

What do they call Vodafone now?

They've changed their one.

They changed their, yeah, one in the top left-hand corner of your phone.

If you're a one customer, they've changed their signal name to Up the Wars.

A lot of people were like, what is going on?

I like that though, I like that.

APM kick off the night at Go Media, Ericsson, Mount Smart Stadium.

Yep, great.

And everywhere on board now, aren't we?

Because they're winning lots of games.

Yes, exactly.

Scrappy games against some lower teams in the last couple of weeks,

but away we go tonight against the St. George, the Warrior Dragons.

And you might be watching and you might be thinking,

what can I yell?

I've got to get involved.

I just can't keep screaming up the wires.

Even though there is absolutely no limit to the amount of time

you can scream up the wires during the Warriors game tonight.

There are six other things to yell.

Number six on the list.

That's Shawn Johnson's an absolute sitter for the Daily M this year.

That's Shawn Johnson's an absolute sitter for the Daily M this year.

That's an award, isn't it?

That's the player of the year, the Daily M.

Got it.

Yep, that's good.

Number five on the list of the top six things you can scream

apart from Uptah Waz.

During the Warriors game tonight,

DWZ better do one of those diving for the corner fly tries

that he does every game.

I bloody love those.

What does that mean?

DWZ is out there on the wing and he does this thing where he runs

for a corner and he dives.

Yeah.

And he just goes, touches the ball and then like rolls out.

That's cute.

Beautiful and slow.

Let's get a replay.

We'll go upstairs.

It's good.

Try time.

Hardest part of the field to kick a goal from.

Wow, the corner out there.

Number four on the list of the top six things apart from Uptah Waz.

You can say during the Warriors game tonight,

you can say something like this better be a repeat of round 17

where the Warriors dismantled the dragons and put 30 points on them.

Oh, God, I was literally about to say the same thing.

You were.

I could see it.

Yeah, back, back in Friday, Friday, June 23rd.

Took them to bits.

That's it.

Number three list of the top six things to yell apart from the Waz.

Tonight during the Warriors game,

I told her to Harris is going to absolutely make some meters to

celebrate his hundredth game for the Warriors.

I'll just scream his name to be honest.

Yeah.

I'm glad you've just found him on my name.

I just said, I think I got someone that might be up your alley.

She said he is my alley.

He is married, though.

Isn't he's married?

He's been married for a while.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's get your hands off.

You stopped me before.

No, it hasn't.

Oh my God.

I don't know why I said that.

Sorry.

I'm out of control.

I'm out of control.

I'm out of control.

You are out of control.

Number two on the list of the top six things apart from up the Waz.

You can say during the Warriors game tonight,

but start practicing some names because some of them are a little bit of a mouthful.

Now you heard me say DWZ before.

Yeah.

That's Dylan Watini's the Lesniak.

Cheapest.

Oh yeah.

I can see why they say DWZ.

Chance, who's out the back,

who's also tickled the fancy of some people in studio.

Chance, Nickel, Claude Stat.

You've got to get a...

Claude Stat.

Claude Stat.

Claude Stat.

Stad.

Claude Stat.

Claude Stat.

Okay.

Get that around the end.

Sounds like a town you go on a train through Austria.

It does have a real...

We're going through Claude Stat.

Oh yeah.

It does have a real Germanic feeling to it.

An Adinfanoe Blake.

You want to get your...

Adinfanoe Blake.

You want to get the tongue round that one.

Okay.

And number one on the list of the top six things apart from up the Waz.

You can say during the Warriors game tonight,

Sean Johnson's 250th game in the NRL

and he's still got to face that fresh.

What's his secret there?

Yeah, I know.

Gorgeous.

That's a gorgeous face.

Gorge Man.

Yep.

That is a good name.

Top six.

Remember up the Waz.

Play.

Zedem's Fletchvorn and Haley.

We're joining studio by the legend himself.

Dye Henwood.

Good morning.

Oh, pleasure to be here.

What's up, man?

It's great to have you here.

It's good, you know.

I'm actually...

I'm in a really good spot at the moment.

I've just last week, I finished my 20th round of chemo.

I'm in a break now pretty much for the rest of the year.

From treatment.

So it's happy days.

I can just get out and enjoy things now.

When you do, because you've done 20 rounds,

when you're on, when you're in the round,

it's pretty crap, are you feeling awful?

Yeah, the week of the round is very awful.

It's like having the worst hangover of your life for five days

so you just feel like...

It's a little bit worse.

I reckon.

I've had some gnarly hangovers, Dye.

But you get that, but without the good times

that brought the hangover on.

So you have that,

then you just feel like smashing some burgers and some fries

and then you sort of come out of the fog,

then you have a good week of...

And I sort of choose to...

When I get out and start doing comedy,

start herning around, that makes me feel better.

So then I have a good week, then back into it.

And I think I knock things back quite a bit.

We sort of do a scan in a few weeks.

And then just have some time off.

And it's been awesome being involved with the Cancer Society

and that because it's actually...

People have contacted me saying it's awesome you've been public

because it feels like it's helping me.

And then it's selfish.

You know, sometimes doing things for other people make you feel good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is going to be a real buzz.

Dude, totally.

I listened to a podcast about how there's no such thing as a selfless act.

And he talked to all these people that believe they were doing selfless acts,

but it boils down to the fact that it makes you feel good to make other people feel good.

So I had this the other night, right?

I went, I did a full deep clean of the kitchen.

We're talking a deep clean.

And then I went to myself, actually, all good deeds should go unmentioned.

I'm not going to say anything.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Tell your wife what you've just been doing for over and over and over and over for months.

My wife hadn't even shut the front door and I said,

I'm going to take a kitchen nap.

And then she goes into a cupboard and you're like, how was that?

How was that?

I just the bloody grouting, babe.

Oh, did she dig it?

Because my wife gets horny.

All right.

Yeah.

I do it unasked.

Even if I then parade around a bit of a cock of the block sort of walk around,

she's still horny.

That's pretty good stuff.

I don't know, but you just wish that you could do it without showing off about it.

And then I'm giving her a full walk around of how I folded the sheets

and then how on Tiktok I worked out this thing with a toaster where I could change.

What do you want?

What do you want?

I don't know.

In return?

Or you just wanted to say, well done, darling.

I don't really know what I want because I mean, I wasn't ready for anything.

I'm so proud of my cleaning that I'd already self-sourced.

Good Lord, this looks good.

The smell of jiff will get you going.

Hey, so you're ANZ's ambassador for Daffodil Day.

Yes.

Which is so exciting.

So it's awesome because they bought on, so I never knew really what Daffodil Day was about.

I was going to say, we know it, right?

We always know it every year.

We're like, oh, have I have a yellow flower?

No, you go, yes, great cause.

Yeah, I can't say, of course.

So the good thing is that ANZ get behind the Cancer Society.

So they do sort of all the admin of getting things on.

We did an amazing comedy show last night that they put on.

We raised money that way.

Very funny.

So it means all the money goes to the Cancer Society

and to the actual tangible things they do.

So if people are coming in from outside of Auckland for treatment,

the Cancer Society put up the patient and their whanau.

Oh, that's cool.

So in Auckland, close to the hospital.

So that's a lot of cash.

They do massage therapy.

They do lifts to and from treatment.

They do, for me, which both myself and my wife have used is counseling and therapy.

Yeah.

Cause like you've got, everyone does therapy these days,

but most therapists don't deal with cancer, right?

Oh, so you have a bit of anxiety around going to parties, do you?

Yes, yeah.

Oh my God.

One's like, yes.

But you know, there's also, there are, they're heavy issues,

but they're like, they do a lot more personal therapy.

And then you go, hey, so I've got this really heavy cancer donation there.

Oh yeah.

Hey, you should give my mate a ring.

Right, right, right.

Whereas these therapists at the Cancer Society,

that's all they, they deal with cancer, how to talk to families,

how to talk to kids about it, how to deal with it.

So that's not just your illness, is it?

We are a dad and a husband.

I reckon cancer is a diagnosis for two,

because your partner goes through the exact mental trauma

and the exact anxiety that you go through.

I just have the physical side of it.

But it's, so they need a lot of help as well.

And everyone knows therapy costs money.

Accommodation in the City of Auckland costs a fortune.

So it's like, the good thing about the Cancer Society is when you're donating,

you know there's real tangible costs.

So that's what you're covering when you donate.

I love that, because I know when you were first diagnosed,

you know, you kept it to yourself for a while and friends and family.

And I remember chatting to you and you saying,

you were going to wait to kick it in the, in the dick.

And then come out and do something really meaningful with this burden

that you've been given. And it's amazing now.

I mean, you are kicking its ass.

Yeah, the weird thing was it was,

last August was when the oncologist,

I just finished filming, I have you been paying attention.

And I was sitting in the car park at Sky City talking to my oncologist

and that was when he had gone from, said,

we had an intent to cure it, which was what I'd had for three years.

And he went, hey, where it's popped up in that, it's incurable now.

And that was like a huge shift.

Because then it was like, wow, now,

my analogy I suppose is I'm like a classic car

that I've got to keep on the road

and do a bit of spot welding here with chemo, you know,

got to keep war on a fitness going for the next year, that sort of thing.

And then I was like, OK, now I want to try and figure out

how I can go public with it.

I got through a few months of the sort of just crying

and woe is me and what's going on.

And then I was like, right, I'm in a good way.

I want to actually get out there.

And the messages I get every day from people

have just blown me away from people who are going through cancer.

I can share some tips or just go back and forth with them

and sort of deems.

Plotting into people's deeds.

A little different.

Legitimate way.

Legitimate way.

Well, as you say, to fix so many New Zealanders,

if you can help out today at Staffordal Day,

buy at Staffordal,

donate some money, as you say, it's all...

Big or small, right?

Every little bit counts.

That's the thing, because you know where it's going,

it's going to a good place.

And the sad thing is so many people, you know,

if you look through family and friends,

you're going to look far until you find someone

who's dealing with it or going through it.

Yeah, you're just doing it now and probably hours will come

or to someone we love soon, you know?

So check your coffee money at Staffordal Day.

Love it.

Dye him with a pleasure.

Score prediction for the warriors.

Oh, of course.

Of course, Up the Was.

What I love is...

I just wanted to talk to you about leg.

Up the Was.

This has gone from like people just...

Some people walk past me in the street and they're just...

Up the Was.

That's sophisticated now, isn't it?

Are you commentating ACC tonight?

Yes, I'm on the ACC tonight and

I want this to be a statement.

We haven't made a statement

of Mount Smart going into the finals.

I think my feeling

is it's going to be

30 points to 2.

I don't care about the tries,

all I care about is the defense in this one.

Yeah, we're just...

Yeah, we're just going to keep the dragons

out of the castle, man.

We're going to just...

If you have not listened

to Dye Henwood commentate rugby league,

you've not watched it.

The way you've changed the game and I

love it, the passion.

It's so good to listen to.

If you want some just horrendously biased commentary

with a few

airy borderline lines

that maybe shouldn't be on broadcast television.

That's the best.

We love the ACC best.

SkySport 9.

We're on 9 to 9

and the kick-offs 8pm.

It's the best thing about these bloody pirates.

They come on about 2 seconds before the games start.

SkySport's got this big hour-long leader

and these guys are like,

kick-off some 10 seconds next time.

It's so good. Thanks anyway.

Up the camps.

Yesterday,

God, we had a good workout, didn't we?

We had a bloody good workout.

We had a little joint workout.

Oh, boy, tell us about it.

I know everybody listening.

Can't wait.

We're really exercising at the moment.

Anyway, I

hadn't eaten and I was

so hungry afterwards.

So when I just popped somewhere quick and I was like,

I'll just get a little salad or something.

Can I just... I'll just pause proceeding.

Yeah, go ahead.

We had the workout and now we're about to talk about a salad.

I mean,

I would just like to remind you both that it's Friday.

Can I just please...

No good story starts with salad.

Let you know that I ate the salad and I went home

and took Aaron a salad and then we had a bottle of wine

and then we went to the pub for dinner.

There we go. Now I want to hear about that.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

But you started so good.

Roaring start to the day.

And I went in there and there were

three employees and no customers.

And I was like, can I get this please?

And they're like, yep.

And then I like went off to the side waiting

for it and I was on my phone for a bit and then I looked over

and I was still chatting and I was like,

okay, like

they haven't started

my salad.

Chatting about the salad, but God, we have not

started it, have we? Yeah.

And then I was on my phone for a little bit more and then

they were sort of messing around with the salad.

And then I just said,

and I didn't want this to come across as passive-aggressively,

did my order come through?

Is my order? I mean, they literally took it.

Yeah, it's my order. Did you get my

you've got my order, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. And then I see

on there's two women

and then one younger woman.

So three women in total.

It's a private school education right there.

And the young one had

trainee.

I was like, I see what's

happening. They're teaching her how to make this for me.

And I was like, that's fine.

She can take a little bit longer.

Tuck. Yeah, because when you

see someone has a trainee badge, you're like, well,

you know, that's... How else are you going to learn?

You've got to learn on the job. It's like seeing someone

with a learner's plate on the K. You get right up their ass.

You flash your lights. You put the pressure on

because you have to learn under pressure. Pressure

creates diamonds. Exactly.

I do do that as well being like, you need to know

when I'm this close to you, you've got to pull over.

Yeah. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

I'm helping you here. I'm helping you here.

Do you remember when you were learning to drive?

I was instantly good at it. Anyway.

I had my mother doing that to me in the car.

Screaming, grabbing things.

What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

Hand on the handbrake. That's a crazy way to teach

your son to drive.

It's just giving a little drive down there.

Anyway, trainee, and I was like, I understand

why this is taking so long.

And then she gave it to me and it was all

sort of like spilling out and it didn't

float in the fork. And then she was like, sorry.

And I was like, oh God, sorry for what?

Then I never wait.

I got in my car and I was like, I'm going to

hoon a couple of bites before I start driving.

Okay.

One, where's the chicken?

Okay. I think I got two cubes.

I think Aaron got one.

Two, weird addressing. That thing dry.

Oh yeah.

That thing was dry.

That cheap lettuce alternative.

What is it called?

Musculin. Oh yeah. I hate that.

It tastes nutty, doesn't it? It's got a nutty taste.

It's so dry.

Three, weird assault on pepper.

It was the worst salad I've ever had.

So you had a box of musculin.

I had a box of dry musculin.

With two cubes of chicken.

Well, it's a trainee's fault.

Well, she did apologize to be fair.

And then I got home and I gave Aaron his and I was like,

by the way, it sucks.

And he went in and he was like, where's the chicken?

Yeah, you should have stopped going.

And then you get a bachelor's handbag.

So then you can, you know, add your own chop.

I don't pay for salads.

That's my rule.

I don't pay for salads.

If you go out for lunch and someone's like,

yeah, I'm going to get this salad.

I'm like, we are out.

You can make that at home and a better one

and probably cheaper.

Anyway, look, it is what it is.

But trainee, you know, I've had my run-ins with trainees before.

You never want to see it in a beauty salon.

I'll give you that.

I will tell you that.

Gosh, you made these brows a bit thin, haven't you?

People have got to start somewhere.

We've all been trainees.

We've all been trainees at one stage.

Yeah, I'm still really a radio trainee every day.

And then I say the F word.

And I learned that that's not allowed.

Yeah, in other words.

And I've said a few other words.

I, when I gave blood once, I think we talked about this.

The trainee.

The trainee.

Like miss the vein and try twice

and then have to get the supervisor.

Train on your own arm, trainee.

These are good arms.

You can see the veins from their horn.

Fantastic heroin addict, if you ever, you know, came up.

It's an addict's dream to hit the blues like that.

Yeah, look, they're all there.

And she couldn't even get it in twice.

Well, perhaps we could take some calls

and get some messages in of when you messed up as a trainee.

How bad was it?

Maybe you were a trainee waxologist.

Forklift driver.

And you dropped everything.

Dropped everything.

Well, no, the forklift,

the bladders and they just slightly missed through the height

and put the fork right through the bladder.

Wine everywhere.

It's a huge floor suck.

Yeah, but then you have to get a license

before you even get on one of those, right?

Yeah.

Well, look, we've all been there.

It's in my wallet somewhere.

We've all been there.

When did you mess up as a trainee?

Well, if people don't want to admit

their mistakes as a trainee, will we take calls

from people that have had a trainee?

Have you been done dirty by a trainee?

Have you been done dirty by a trainee?

I'll accept.

Give us a call now.

You can text through 9 6 9 6.

When did you mess up as a trainee

or when did a trainee mess you up?

I had a terrible salad made for me yesterday

by a trainee.

And look, it's not their fault.

They've got to learn.

You said there was two cubes of chicken.

Two cubes of chicken.

First of all, gross that chicken even comes in a cube.

Chunks of chicken.

But that would be what they were told to put in there.

I feel a little sorry for them,

but will they get fired if they just go ham?

Yeah.

I don't want ham.

I just meant heart out.

I love it at the Donbury Bowl when you get the person

that works there versus the person that runs the franchise.

Yeah.

They're always stingy with the condiments

of chicken and stuff.

I used to always do that at pit-a-pit,

be like more, more, more, more onion,

more mushroom.

More of that, more of that.

They can't shut the pita.

They can't fold it at the end.

You're like, oh well.

I want to know when you as a trainee

stuffed up because it happens

or when you were dealt with by a trainee.

Zoe, were you the trainee

or on the receiving end?

I was on the receiving end.

And what was the service they were providing you?

Ear piercing?

No.

Don't train any.

They need to pierce your own ears.

How does a trainee learn though

without pork or tattooing?

Yeah, don't they train on pork skin

because it's similar to humans?

You could pierce a pig's ear.

Or they trained on Zoe instead.

How badly did it go?

It was a gun.

I got my second low piercing done

and they put the dots on.

I checked and they were all good.

And then she did it

and she missed the dots on one of my ears.

How bad is it?

How close is it to the first hole?

It's further away.

Oh, it's too far.

Every time you look at it, you just feel like

did you get it redone?

I haven't. I've let it healed.

So you've just got janky ear holes.

Nah, you can't be scared.

It'll scab over.

You can't get one slightly lower

because it's going to be one big hole.

At least you've got giant earrings

to cover them.

Anonymous, do you got a trainee?

I did indeed.

Okay, and what was this for?

A bikini line wet.

No.

I'm in the balloon.

Were you a hairy Mary down there?

Because you'd think they'd give the trainees

a slightly less hairy person

to work their way up to deforestation.

I've been going to somebody else

for a little while

but I was helping out my friends

because it was their clinic.

They had someone new who'd done their training

but was new on the job.

So I just gave it a go

and almost cried through the appointment.

Wax the right temperature?

Where did they really go wrong?

Yeah, kind of

in the censors part

right down under your legs

but it was the pulling.

It held tight.

You've got to put it to it.

You've got to put it tight.

Because if you rip like that, the skin comes up.

Yeah, no.

Okay, yeah, no.

Thank God it was just a bikini wax

and not the full brassy.

That was what I thought.

I always threw it.

Was this free? Were you paying

because it was your friend's place?

Small discount but yeah, I was paying.

Yeah, it wasn't free.

Anonymous, thank you, Allie.

You were a student nurse.

I was.

You were the trainee?

I was the trainee, yes.

We had a death on the ward

and elderly lady who died

so the nurse sent me in

to put the false teeth in

because if you don't get them in in the first 20 minutes

there's no chance you're going to get them in.

Because of Rega Mortis?

Yeah, they just stiffen up

and you can't get them back in.

I struggled and struggled

and I got them in and I put a pillow under a chin

to hold a mouth shut

and I came back out of the room

to find her daughter coming back in

to look for her false teeth.

She's left on the table

because she had a mouth ulcer

and she'd taken her teeth out

and the mum had no teeth.

Did it please?

Oh no!

Wait, could you get them out?

these teeth out of this woman's mouth and she was a mess.

She was a mess.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, that was the funniest thing ever.

Oh my God.

Did you give them a rinse?

You gave them a rinse and they were...

I gave them a rinse and gave them back in.

They never told her what had happened.

Imagine if she hadn't come back in time, though,

and the rigor mortis had set in and they were stuck in there.

They were stuck in there.

Push the false teeth in on top of teeth.

No, no, the lady had no teeth.

She never had any teeth for years, apparently,

but we just assumed false teeth on the side must belong to her in makeup.

Oh my God.

Okay, so that makes it a little bit easier.

But then false teeth are like...

I didn't know this until recently.

Really specifically made to fit.

Yes, every rivet of the roof of your mouth is unique.

Yeah.

Oh my God, Allie, that is so brilliant.

That is absolutely brilliant.

Thank you, Matt.

You were the trainee?

Yes, I was the trainee.

The trainee forklift driver.

Oh.

Yes.

Why'd you put it through?

Why'd you put it through?

I just had a massive pallet of chicken

and managed to have the sprinkler with it,

which then set off the sprinkler,

destroyed $7,000 worth of chicken

and caused the whole factory to be evacuated.

Wait, wait.

Are the chickens alive?

No, no.

It was all frozen.

Oh, no.

And what, because is the sprinkler water

not up to standard?

Oh, it's disgusting.

It's like black, so it just sits on the mud forever.

Oh my God.

What a gross sprinkler water would be.

What does it need to be?

It would just sit.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

Did you lose your job, Matt?

The best part of it was that my dad

was the general manager of the factory

and he was the general manager of the factory.

Oh, no, that's good.

That's family.

It's good to be a Nepo baby, isn't it?

It works great.

Especially the chicken industry.

Matt, thank you.

Some messages in.

Working at a supermarket,

I scanned a few things twice by accident

or when I didn't know the product code,

I'd just put it in the bag and they'd get it for free.

Sorry.

That all evens out in the end, though.

Yeah.

That all evens out if you're scanning things twice

and some not at all.

Now, I think that's in now.

I was a trainee at MITRE 10

and I accidentally gave away a $3,000 clothesline.

But because it never got scanned,

they couldn't tell what checkout it had gone through.

Oh, I love that.

And they were like, it's impossible.

No one could have stolen this.

It's too big.

And I just sat there quietly knowing I'd obviously

buggered up scanning the exact clothesline

someone had got bought that day.

Oh my God.

My friend was training to be a beautician,

so I kindly did who waxed my chest.

I've never bled so much in my life.

I'm still traumatized.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I can't watch the scene from 40-year-old Virgil.

Yeah.

I bet.

I bet.

I had a trainee nurse that did my smear test.

Now, nope.

You've got to stop.

I've got to learn.

Yeah, you've got to learn.

I let her have what I would describe as a pretty hands-on look

at my cervix for about 15 minutes before I said,

okay, I think you should perhaps go

and get the person who's in charge of your training.

Guys, I cannot tell you what it's like

to be prodded in the cervix.

It's a lot.

It's like getting kicked in the guts,

and you're like, ugh.

That feeling where it just...

You're just like, what is that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where is it?

Where am I feeling that pain?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't usually feel that.

What is that?

Oh no.

Oh my God.

Trainee hairdressers.

I'll do you one more.

Trainee for a cosmetic tattoo artist.

Nope.

I've got my eyebrows tattooed on,

and it hurt.

Not too bad a shape,

but then it went all in septic and flaked off.

So thankfully, the tattooed eyebrows are gone now.

Oh thank God, they flaked off.

So they can't have gone deep enough.

No.

They're not super permanent, so thank God.

Oh my God.

Wow.

Joining us via the magic of telecommunication

over the internet is Charlie Puth.

Hello.

Hello.

Now, let's talk about the new single.

Lipstick.

The video is out.

It's horny.

It's horny.

It's sensual.

It's horny.

That's not the music video.

I know that because I'm working on it right now.

It's like...

What have we...

I'm sorry.

What have we got horny on?

What have we got horny over?

Yeah.

You're getting that on a...

What is it?

In label terms called the visualizer.

The official...

Oh, right.

Oh, so...

The audio going along with the imagery.

Well, we used to call that a music video back in my day.

You know the video part where the music plays

and then a video happens.

So this is the precursor to the music video.

Yeah.

It's just my...

It's a way for me not to put up a slap a picture of my face

and be like, official audio.

It's just something maybe 10% more interesting.

I'd give it a bit more than 10%, to be honest.

I know.

Just now producer Shannon up off the floor

when she watched your visual.

Oh, hell yeah.

She's a...

She's a big fan.

She's even cooler here.

Even though she's cooler here today,

knowing we were interviewing you,

even though she's not on camera.

Would you like...

Can we just bring her in so you can see her cool here?

Yeah, come on.

Show up if you're cool here.

Oh, Jesus.

Don't run too quick, Shannon.

You'll hurt yourself.

Say hi.

Hi.

Do you have any questions?

She's a big fan, Charlie.

Hi, Charlie.

Hello.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

How's the mic, darling?

It's the closest you're going to get.

Hey, Charlie.

Oh, my God.

This is embarrassing.

I love it.

I'll hand you back over.

That's cute.

Thanks, Charlie.

Love your work.

She had about as cool as I did

when I met Jason Momoa.

Thank you.

To be fair, to be fair,

I'd be the same way if I met Jason Momoa.

You haven't met Jason Momoa.

The dude is huge.

It's very hard not to be.

He's spending a lot of time in New Zealand as well.

Are you planning on doing the same, Charlie?

Are you going to come our ways

and hang out with us?

Well, you're here in November.

Are you going to stay longer?

I remember you've been here before.

Yeah, I was there for about five hours before.

I didn't have enough time to really take in the air.

That's the perfect amount of time to be in New Zealand.

We're pretty small.

Everybody says you don't need to spend any time

and really engage in with the beautiful nature.

Well, I don't know what...

In the UK, it's Deliveroo,

and we have Postmates out here

with all these food delivery services.

So it's sometimes so much easier

than to find parking.

How much takeaways are we eating?

I'm looking at the bot here

in this horny, not music video music video.

This is a body that has required sculpting.

Please don't tell me this comes naturally

without any effort.

Oh, don't say that.

It's no fun.

It's no pizza, no indulgences.

It's all fistful of protein

and fistful of vegetables.

And I got sad.

I was like, I can't believe...

I immediately, after that video,

our visualizer, not music video...

We got you, we got you.

After it was done, I immediately ate a cheese steak.

You should do...

Because I've got a diet that I tried earlier this year,

and you could say it was successful.

It's called not giving a shit.

And you said fistful.

I did fistsful of just anything I wanted.

And then you gain a bunch of weight,

and you just deal with it later.

That's...

I guess...

I'm definitely taking that motto for now

and just, you know,

maybe I don't need to be so shirtless

in the next visualizer, not music video.

Well, that's the thing.

You're more prone to being shirtless than probably I am.

You know, I get fun things like boobs and bums,

but you'd just get a belly and sort of...

Yeah.

But fluggery, I guess.

I'll put the white t-shirt on from now on,

although I am enjoying some healthy papayas right now.

Oh, that's a good one, yeah.

It'll go right through you, though.

Is that how it works?

Yeah.

I got Lyme on here, too.

I'm sure that's...

Citrus won't help me either.

You squeezed the Lyme on the papaya.

Yeah.

You squeezed the Lyme on the papaya.

Exist up the papaya.

Yeah, it's great stuff.

Keeps it fresh.

Yeah, sounds good.

Now, we've mentioned your first single,

but tell us about the album,

which is due soon.

Hmm.

Sorry, you're midmouth full of papaya.

I apologize.

I apologize.

Oh, my God, it was only 17 US dollars, too.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Can you believe that?

That wasn't for the radio.

That was actually the price of the...

Oh, dude, we can't believe it.

The price of food in New Zealand is horrendous.

It's up there.

Wild.

But the album, this is...

Lipsick is basically setting the musical groundwork

of what people can expect the rest of the record

to sound like the album, to sound like,

because I will admit it is a little bit of a left turn

from the last album.

But it's just...

If you find this interesting at all,

I'm not using any headphones to record any of these songs.

It's all making the instrumental, making the beat,

and then just turning the...

That's how Michael always recorded his music in Westlake.

He made the music really, really low,

and it felt like a performance more

than just getting every note perfect.

I mean, I go flat on a lot of these songs.

The vocals aren't perfect, but it's just more real.

I like that.

I like that a lot.

Not so heavily manufactured.

Your true artist?

I really respect that.

As a true artist myself, I play the piano.

That's good.

What is your favorite thing to play on the piano?

Chopin.

Chopin's nocturnes, any of them.

Mostly C-sharp minor.

A nocturne and C-sharp minor?

I thought you were going to say some shit like

Mary Had a Little Lamb.

That's great.

No, no, no.

I'm the real deal, Charlie.

I'm the real deal.

Oh, don't you dare insult me like that.

It's a great song.

It's a great song.

I've played it on a piano.

Yes, I can play it, but I refuse to at parties.

Don't even ask me.

Everyone's always asking for a thousand miles.

What?

It's a great song.

It's a great song.

Well, when you come to New Zealand,

maybe you could get on the vocals

and I could hop on the piano

and we'll delight the masses by playing a thousand miles.

I thought you were going to say,

maybe when you make it to New Zealand,

you can make your way downtown running fast.

Homebound.

The bass is passing home.

Well, you hear our fourth in November.

When can we expect the full horny music video

and the album?

Well, I haven't promised that it's going to be

a horny music video.

That was I was going to ask is the music video

even more horny than the precursor?

All right.

Does it tone down the horniness?

Well, I have such an exciting answer to that.

You're just going to have to watch it.

No.

But I actually think it'll be a bit more tame,

but there's more to it than just that.

It's really about putting this song out to show

that I've not evolved from the last tone,

but I want to be capable of making different music.

My biggest fear is sounding like,

oh, Charlie had a hit last year, hits last year.

He's just copying what he did last year.

I'd rather sound like a different artist every year.

Well, I hope it does really well

because you're buying $17 papayas.

Someone's going to pay for those.

I should always look at the price first

as the receipt popped up right before this came on,

and I was, I gasped.

Well, I hope they were worth it, Charlie.

So good.

So good.

Hey, we'll see you in New Zealand soon.

Thanks so much for talking to us this morning.

Thank you for taking the time.

I really appreciate it.

Awesome.

Appreciate you.

Thank you.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

It's the final ranking.

Travelers.

Yeah, we do this every Friday.

Normally it's kind of food stuff, isn't it?

Normally.

I think next week we'll do type of fries,

crinkle-cut, straight.

I thought we were going to do instant puddings this week.

Yeah, we've also got that bent up.

I don't eat instant puddings.

I can't play.

But you must have used to put it in your mouth.

No, my mum would always make us a nice homemade crumble.

Hello, darling.

I'm going to make a peach or perhaps a barb.

I should make a peach crumble.

Today, though, I think this is going to get quite heated.

Yep.

We're going to do electrical.

What do you call them?

Sockets or plugs?

Yeah, international electrical plugs.

Can we out the gate start by saying the UK has the worst sockets

in the whole world?

Three flat prongs and it's like the size of your hand.

So booty.

So booty.

So booty.

So when you go to like, you know, like a Kathmandu or whatever,

and you get your adapter or you get your plugs,

you just like what the UK one is twice the size of anyone else.

I like to leave that purchase to the airports.

I'm paying an absolute pay.

Beautiful.

Forget.

Yeah, yeah.

And now I have a few.

What's the European?

Two dots.

Two perfect prongs.

So that's the C type.

If it's circular with two circular prongs.

Yes.

So I have a couple of European lights that need a full time adapter.

It's wiggly.

It doesn't have enough.

It doesn't grab you.

It's about time to spark.

He's around.

Get him to change the ends.

He's got enough on his hands.

Like rigging my whole house.

Good luck with your wiggly.

Good luck with your wiggly.

I do.

If you wiggle or wobble or you move your bedside table.

But it's the same as the two prong American.

What I love about.

And I think that the American and used in a lot of central and south America, the two

pins.

They're little and a lot of their like cords are little and it's just so it's better for

space.

And they can fold down.

Yeah.

You can like fold it down and then fold up the pins.

But then that, that, that doesn't to me because they're straight up and down.

They're two vertical pins.

They can wobble out.

Yeah.

That's why they wobble.

I love call me patriotic.

I just love ours.

New Zealand.

New Zealand.

I love the eye area.

Because it goes in and because of its angle, it holds itself in better than the American

straight up.

Yeah.

But again, our classes can be body.

Fold down.

They can be big.

Yeah.

And I only like the two ones, not the three ones.

Yeah.

Same.

If we don't need the grounding.

Oh, I know.

If I don't need it.

I don't want it.

How good does it feel?

I like it too as well.

Absolutely fine.

But when you get a three, it just.

I had a little tickle when you're trying to get a PowerPoint in at night.

And you put your fingers on the two prongs to line them up with the hole on the wall

and then you take about and push them in.

But you didn't quite get it out enough.

No.

Little.

Little.

The Japanese ones are silly.

Two skinnies like slots.

They're almost like the European one.

But lines to lines.

Like the American.

Is that the American one?

The American one.

Okay, right.

American.

There's an owl type.

Skinnier.

I found this website and you can literally like click on different countries and it

tells you what one they use.

Well, that's good if you're traveling places.

There's an owl type one and it's from South America like Chile and it's three prongs and

a straight line and they go in vertically.

What?

See, that's hot.

That's hot.

I've never seen that one before.

That's pretty hot.

Where is that?

Chile.

Chile.

We must go.

What?

Just for the electrical sockets.

Yeah.

We should go for the socket.

Is it European that have like you, when you put it in, it kind of goes into the whole

thing?

So yeah.

I don't like those.

One of the types.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That is the F type.

I believe it's circular and you push it in and it goes into an actual indentation.

Yeah.

Before the pins can connect and sometimes they'll go click and click and hold itself in.

See, it's nice.

I like it.

Click and hold itself in.

But then on the wall, when there's not a socket in it, it's nice.

Exactly.

Whereas New Zealand ones, like they're just not much gone.

Small.

Small.

Okay.

I'm going to go American.

New Zealand.

New Zealand.

Europe.

Like I said, I've just turned in when he talked about a lot of, a lot of talk about prongs

facing different ways and just jamming them in.

We're talking about alpha.

We're ranking.

Electrical sockets.

Electrical sockets around the world.

Yeah.

Georgia, you've just been traveling.

Do you have a favorite one?

Did you like Europe?

Yeah.

You were in Europe for the most part.

You just, you just, you didn't stop going on about being in Europe.

What was your favorite there?

Yeah.

So I just got back from Europe.

Yeah.

Yeah, we know.

I went to Bali a year and a half ago.

So, you know,

What power points were in the Louis Vuitton store when you dropped an insane amount of

money on an official Louis Vuitton roller?

Vaughn.

Wow.

Did you check the power points?

Exposed.

Vaughn.

Georgia.

You weren't even allowed in one store, right?

They told you there was no appointments.

They looked at her and they're like, you can't afford what's in here.

Excuse me, ma'am.

That's my favorite story from your whole trip.

Please leave.

Damn it.

Okay.

Do you like the Europe plug?

Do you care about the plugs I like or not now?

Yeah.

I prefer the European one.

New Zealand.

Oh, no.

Wait.

New Zealand's number one.

New Zealand's number one because you just have one plug that goes in.

You don't have to add like multiple different layers.

What?

What?

No, when we talk about putting an adapter on it,

we're just talking about using it.

Okay.

Which is aesthetically pleasing.

Well, either one.

Look, I don't care.

She doesn't care.

She doesn't care.

Nobody cares about Friday rankings.

That's why it's fun.

We get really angry at each other for not agreeing on a very...

But do you prefer the American plug over the European or the New Zealand?

Oh, sweet.

I haven't been to America.

I don't like that one.

That's the American plug.

Can I make a vote for the African one?

It's upside down.

It's got one hole on top, two on the bottom.

No, it's circular.

Absolutely not.

That's booty though.

That's as booty as the British one.

Yeah, I like that.

No, the British one's dumb.

What's C?

What's C?

See, there are so many kinds.

I like the little one.

Okay.

I'm going to go American, New Zealand and European.

I'm going to go New Zealand is number one.

Followed by Australia is number two because it's the same.

Yep.

And in last place is the UK.

Third, I'm going to go African.

You've never had one.

I'm going to go first, New Zealand.

You've never had an African.

Never had an African.

Big body plugs.

One, New Zealand.

I love it.

It's simple.

It's got the strength to hold it in there.

Two, American.

The two, because it can fold down and it's very minimalist.

Yep.

And then third has got to be Chile's three prongs.

And a skinny line straight vertically.

Wow.

It is sexy.

Yeah, it's a sexy.

It'll be a sexy thing to see on the wall.

Okay.

Well, there it is.

New Zealand, Wednesday, thank you.

Play ZM's Fletch for the Nailie.

Play ZM.

It's your eight o'clock Taylor song, New Romantics.

You need that song, the one at midday and four to win the tickets.

You've got to be the first caller through when that song plays at four o'clock.

And if you can't be near you ready, you can stream I Heart Radio,

the app or on your desktop if you're at work.

All right.

A lot of people sneakily listening.

Somebody said to me, and I finally figured it out.

How do I get around the slight I Heart Radio delay?

Yeah.

Well, you just start calling before the songs even started playing.

Oh, yeah.

Because the song's like three minutes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're not going to ask you the songs till you get on air.

Yeah.

All you've got to do is get through and have an air on the I Heart.

Exactly.

So as soon as you hear them talking about it.

Done.

Skip.

Well, we've really annoyed the brand Clint producers, I reckon.

You know what?

Don't care.

Yeah, true.

Now, this is a study out of America and you have to, this is about healthcare

and we have to acknowledge that the healthcare system in America is quite different to ours.

It's terrible.

But we've also talked about going to the doctor in New Zealand is very, very, very expensive.

So I guess it kind of relates because 53% of Americans choose to skip going to the doctor

because it's just too expensive.

Tough times.

Well, like every, everything's going up for everyone.

Yeah.

Doctors are the same doctor.

Like medical practices.

They've got to pay the power.

That's gone up.

Yeah.

Plasters have gone up.

Do you go to the doctor for your plasters, do you?

The bandages and those things they put on your tongue have gone up.

It must be nice.

You've got enough money to go to the doctor.

Plasters.

Those.

And that like go around your arm and you're like blood pressure.

They've gone up.

I think they think my arms are skinnier than they are because they were still too tight.

They were always too tight.

They were always like stooop.

Yeah.

Like that's really full on.

Quite jacked.

You can stop.

But people avoid the doctor for all sorts of reasons.

I mean, a lot of people do it.

They're embarrassed if it's something perhaps more intimate.

Well, you're putting off the doctor.

Is that because of the price?

I'm just, I'm playing.

I'm playing.

I'm gambling.

I've been to the doctor once for a penis-related issue.

And I got there and I put it off for ages and I finally went and the doctor was like,

I wouldn't worry about that.

It'll be gone next day.

Gone.

I was like, if I'd waited one more day, I wouldn't have had to show my penis to the doctor.

You've only been once for a penis-related.

I suppose.

Yeah.

Because women, we're constantly getting a look in there.

Yeah.

Whereas men, at least something's up, you don't need to.

And then prostates, bum, once you start getting that.

Yeah.

Are you guys, what's the age for bum checks?

I think, I've asked, every time I go to the doctor, I'm like, you want to have a look.

Please.

And he keeps saying, stop it.

You've been in once already this week.

Hey, she, any of the doctors, I try to get a different one every time at the practice.

Just to try to catch one on the back foot.

And they say, yes.

But they said, at my age, if there's no symptoms, then no.

Oh, right.

Yeah, right.

They weren't a judge's on yet.

Yeah.

Well, I'm avoiding going to the doctor because I can't get my pill unless they weigh me and

take my blood pressure.

I don't want to have that conversation.

So.

They don't like, they never judge you.

I don't want to do it.

It's their job to judge you.

What are they going to say?

They're not going to say, but isn't it better to get the...

Yeah, it's always a chat.

It's a chat.

They can't be bothered.

So, you know.

Right.

We'll see.

Us Catholics have a few measures to get around having to get more contraceptive pill.

My measures.

And it works famously.

Look at how small Catholic families are.

Yeah, right.

Tiny, tiny.

Well, look, I want to talk about when you didn't go to the doctor for whatever reason, embarrassment.

Or the cost.

Or the cost.

Because it's so expensive.

And it backfired.

You know, like you went for a peony related issue and it cleared it so far.

Literally the next day.

If you hadn't, maybe something like that happened.

And you let it get two out of hand and then...

Well, this is basically the synopsis of that show, Embarrassing Bodies.

Where someone's like, oh, this kind of popped up, but I didn't deal with it at the time.

And then it got a bit far.

And I was like, oh, I can't.

And now I just was too embarrassed.

So why don't I do it on national television?

Yes, because you'll pay for it.

Yeah.

Because you'll pay for it.

I didn't go to the doctor because when I got shingles, I thought they were really ugly,

really full on pimples because they were on my face.

So I was like, squeezing them and squeezing them and trying to pop them and stuff.

And I was like, what the hell?

And then I finally was like, it really hurts.

So I went to the doctor.

They're like, that's shingles.

You shouldn't be around people.

And I was like, oh, I'll take the week off of uni.

And he was like, oh, no, it's, you've passed the point.

I think you were picking people.

I was rolling around with my open shingles because I was popping them with my classmates.

No, you can only give, you can't give other people shingles.

You can only give people chicken pox.

Chicken pox.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, okay.

We want to take some calls.

I'll 800 dahls at Emma's number.

You can text her at 9 6 9 6.

When did you avoid going to the doctor for whatever reason, but it backfired?

And you realized, oh, I should have just gone.

I should have gone.

53% of Americans are avoiding going to the doctor because it costs too much.

I'm sure a lot of Kiwi are doing the same because it's very, very expensive.

Yeah.

80 bucks.

Some of them are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've got a pimple on my butt.

Yeah.

Can you lance me please?

Just not speaking from experience.

Not speaking from experience.

Very specific example.

Not speaking from experience.

But we want to know when you avoided going to the doctor and it backfired, when you went

like, oh, should have just gone.

Should have just gone.

Yeah, it might not even be the price.

It's just you were maybe you were embarrassed or you were just like.

We're just like, oh, it'll sort itself out.

Yeah, it'll come right.

Got to chop it off.

Yeah.

So many calls and texts.

Joe, when did you avoid going to the doctor?

So this is actually my fiance, not me.

Okay.

She is terribly going to the doctor.

She had like an ear infection and been complaining about a sore ear for, I'd say about a week.

Yeah.

And she just put it off.

And so we're actually musicians.

So we had a gig out in the middle of like the country for someone's 21st.

And we're wearing in-ear monitors so that we can hear ourselves on stage.

Yeah.

But by the end of the gig, she took the in-ear monitors out and it started like oozing out

her ears.

For the whole gig, she was like complaining about ear pain and then it was just chronically

like hurting and she's getting a bit of like a headache with it and the glands around the

ears are kind of like swelling up.

Oh, God.

No.

I would have been.

You would have been at the end of the doctor's like a week before.

Straight away.

Like a big sign of anything.

A week.

A week.

A guy told her, go see the doctor.

I'll give you some ear drops.

And she's like, nah, nah, it'll be all right.

Wait, so even after the gooey, after the gooey expulsion on stage and the screaming headache,

she was still like, I'll be okay.

Yeah.

She was like, oh, I think I'll just go home and rest.

Nah.

You're going to the ER.

So I had to pack up all the music.

Yeah.

Like we're doing subs, PAs, like mixes and everything.

So one of the other bandmates drove it to the hospital to the ER and they're like, yep,

you got an infection.

Here's some antibiotics and ear drops and then she'll clear it up.

Clear it up in three days.

And the price that she paid was straight after the reaction at one o'clock in the morning,

goes to the hospital and didn't get home till like 6 a.m.

Yeah.

Whereas if you had just gone to the doctor's.

I hadn't had a really good sleep.

I'd sleep like alone.

You're loving Robin this thing.

Like Joe dropped a bit of it.

I told you so.

Yeah, I'm not heavy.

I told you so.

Heavy.

Leo, this was your partner?

Didn't keep putting off the doctor?

He sure did.

So he had a piece of like metal in his arm and it got a bit red and infected.

Hang on.

How did he get it?

Did he know that he had the metal in his arm?

No.

No.

He just returned from Narm.

He's a typical bloke.

Yeah.

Okay.

So he's like.

It'll be sweet.

It's all good.

Anyway, he started getting like quite ill.

This is a number of years ago.

Yeah.

He ends up in a hospital with blood poisoning.

Full on septicemia.

Oh no.

Everything.

Oh dude.

He could lose his arm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he ended up like losing feeling to the arm and damaging the nerves.

Oh my God.

Needing acupuncture and like full on needling.

He's like got a massive scar there now.

It can't be told.

It can't be told.

It can't be told.

It can't be told.

It's a body's will though.

I know.

It's a body's will.

It's like that's not meant to be here.

Attack it with everything we've got.

But sir.

Yeah.

So how big was this piece of metal?

They got obviously got it out.

Tiny.

Tiny.

Tiny piece of metal.

But the body doesn't like it.

It doesn't want it.

Like maybe the size of your fingernail.

Oh.

That's big.

That's big.

That's big.

I was expecting a tiny splinter.

Lea, thanks for your call.

Some messages.

I fell asleep on a hot water bottle and burnt my leg.

Oh.

The burn was bad but it started to look all right and I was like oh that must be healing

now.

I ended up going to the doctor.

Turned out that the skin was necrotic and dying.

Three months of hospital visits to try to resolve the fact.

Yeah.

Don't put it off.

Get in there.

Oh my God.

He's cooked your leg.

Oh no.

My husband had a sinus thing going on.

Ignored it.

Started getting really sick.

Finally went to the doctor that had developed pneumonia.

Oh okay.

All of the story is listen to your wife.

Yes.

You don't want pneumonia.

Pneumonia.

Pneumonia.

Pneumonia.

You've got pneumonia.

Stomach pain.

Now this is probably the one we've had the most.

Stomach pain.

Okay.

It's just something weird and progressive.

Need a poop.

Something I don't like.

Need a poop.

Ignore it.

Ignore it.

Ignore it.

Burst the pendix.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

They can kill you.

They can kill you.

Because it poisons you.

I had a growth on my titty.

Their word.

Not mine.

I had a growing immunity.

It left it for years thinking I just had a third nipple.

Eventually when I had it cut off, turned out it was some form of Aline van Disides.

What.

It was�׀ Fortis.

Yeah.

Also Boxes.

to go to the doctor because I had bad heartburn because heartburn is embarrassing, it just

meant I ate too fast. Finally went days later because it turned into nothing but a breath

probably and I had clots in my lungs.

Is this the same person?

That's the same person.

Goodness.

Oh my god.

Didn't go to the doctor for an itchy mole.

Oh no, no, no.

Do not tangle with an itchy mole.

Lumps, moles.

It was so itchy, got the consignage, the doctor googled it, then looked at it and was like

what you might have is melanoma skin cancer.

It was stage 3 melanoma, damn post-halosin my life, that is not to be taken lightly,

we'll never skip a doctor, now don't ignore a mole.

If your doctor have, can you see their computer screen?

Yes.

Because if I was a doctor it would be more like sit across from the desk.

Sit across from the desk so that they couldn't see me googling, what's wrong with them?

The doctor's office where the desk is in the corner and you sit at one end of the desk

and you can see straight into the screen.

Yeah.

Turn around.

With your patient there.

I'm just checking things on my phone.

I'm okay to be over here.

Lump on to T.

Itchy.

Itchy.

Itchy.

Gross mole.

I had an ingrown toenail that was becoming problematic, didn't want to go to the doctor

so I asked my dad what I should do, he's a surgeon, I could wait and see if it grows

out or he can sort it.

So two pannadol in a light soak later I was biting a towel and he cut vertically down

my toe with some nails as it's so painful.

Why would you read that out?

Why would you read that?

It's Friday.

It's Friday.

I was trying to read that out.

I love the word.

Where is the status surgeon?

1800 Civil War Battlefield?

Jesus.

So I put my teeth around the leather belt.

Yeah.

And he told me to bite down and I passed out from the pain and when I woke up I was in

a canvas tent.

I feel dizzy.

Oh my God.

I feel dizzy.

Play.

Residents, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day, now this is fascinating to me.

Well we'll be the judge of that.

Please be the judge of that.

Today's fact of the day is about England's sinking churches.

Oh no.

Really old.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Oh no.

We know Venice is sinking.

That's sinking because they decided to build a floating city on a bog land.

They didn't really think too much about this.

This is really old English churches, which there are many of.

Some of the first buildings in England were churches.

Smaller churches out for villages, et cetera, and they've been around for so long that

if you see photos of them, the ground around the church is higher than the lowest stone

of the church.

Oh dear.

Now for a long time people thought they're heavy, they're made of stone, they've been

around for a long time and just it will be the sub-siting of the ground underneath as

they sink in.

Yeah.

They didn't know a lot about foundations when they were laying them.

Yeah, they did not do nice deep concrete.

Foundations?

They did.

Because the churches aren't sinking.

The ground around the church is burning.

Amazing.

It's coming up because this, okay, side fat.

You're really into this.

Cremation only became legal in England in 1902.

Oh yeah.

You couldn't cremate before that.

You had to be buried.

You legally had to be buried.

And you had to be buried in consecrated ground.

And the only place that was was church around churches and villages.

The bodies are making the ground rise.

So keep in mind there might be churches that have been around for a thousand years.

And in that parish, say the average population is 600 people.

And so around about every century, 2000 adults will die, not taking into the fact child mortality,

which was high back in the day.

And so they would dig a hole and bury them.

Not always in coffins, but sometimes.

And coffins only recently have become a bit more durable.

There wasn't the resource to waste on a hard, mahogany coffin that would last longer.

So the way I'm having Bluetooth speakers in mind, have I told you about that?

Oh, are you going to talk to us?

Or you want to listen to the music?

Are you going to have some neon lights underneath?

So when we're lowering you in, you look like a Mitsubishi GSR.

Yes.

Dancing with the ropes.

Lights underneath.

Yeah, fun.

Some spinning hubs.

Yeah.

Also, me assuming that you're going to die so early that me and Vaughan is still physically

capable to lower it down and have a little party on the way.

He'll be lowering us in, if we face facts.

We'll be lowering you in, and then you'll be lowering me in, and then Fletcher's for class.

And then Fletcher will be all by himself.

That's the way I want to go.

I want to go first, so I don't have to miss anybody.

Yes, I want to die before everyone.

What is that one-eater poo thing?

Well, I live to be a hundred.

I hope you live to be a hundred and one day, so I don't have to spend a day without you.

Oh!

Is that the one-eater poo thing?

My heart.

Oh, my heart.

It's one-eater.

Oh, my heart.

Oh, my heart.

So, back to my stats.

So you're basically burying 2,000 adults every century, and the century, there's been ten

of them.

So there's 20,000 bodies in this area.

So, effectively, you're just making a bigger compost heap, and it's growing, and it breaks

down into the earth, but it's not spreading out, it pushes up because it's the path of

least resistance.

Yes, of course.

So, old English churches, if you ever see one, and it appears that it's sinking, it's

not sinking.

The ground around the church is rising because of all the bodies, and they just keep putting

them in there.

It was a grim fact of the day.

Really grim?

When I was a kid, I didn't like cemeteries and death and stuff, but now that I'm older,

it's fascinating.

Oh, you know what?

Okay, I've got a question to ask.

Yes.

Okay.

Have you seen the TikToks and the channels that go around and clean old graves and tell

you the story of the person?

Tell the story of her was?

Would it be weird if I started doing that?

Yes.

No.

I think so.

I can absolutely see this fitting into your aesthetic.

Especially when your own driveway needs a water blast.

What?

Whoa, wee.

I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.

Get your own stones in order before you go.

Waterblasting some dead grandmother from 1840.

It has been noted.

It's been noted.

It's been noted.

It has been noted.

It's been noted.

It's been noted.

It's been noted.

Most in mil toothpaste that's what I'm saying.

It has been.

It has been noted.

So today's fact of the day is English church's are not sinking the ground around them is

rising.

the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Play ZM's Fletch for the Naili.

Play ZM.

Yesterday, while Fletch has really encouraged me back to my journey of health, that made

it sound like you were like, hey.

Like I was like, whoa, boom, boom, walking through the room.

No, he doesn't do that.

But we used to do gym classes together, and they got, I got unfit, man.

I just took a break off of fitness.

When you've been very sidetracked with your rehabilitation.

Sadly, no.

No regrets.

It's been fun, but I've wanted to feel fit again, and those classes are amazing.

So I was like, coming back to these classes, having a great time.

The best part about it is when you come out of these classes and you talk about them.

Everybody who wasn't at the class is like, wow, tell me more.

What's it called?

Wow, what happened?

So we started with sled pushes, and then we went, and then we did, no, the good thing

was that yesterday's workout was a partner's workout.

So you pair up and you kind of like switch, and you're with each other the whole time.

But Fletch was running late because he had to pop home, and then this sort of person

was next to me, and, and then they like didn't move when Fletch arrived.

So we were like, oh, we're not partners anymore.

The best he's got separate.

Well, I did say that you're talking too much in class.

I did say to highly save me in place.

I tried.

I tried.

I tried.

I panicked.

I'm too nice.

I was like, yeah, you can go there.

Anyway, so we got separated to the other side of the room, and then the person I was with

was really nice as well, but it meant that I was sort of like surrounded by strangers

and my suffering, which is much fitter than I, and sometimes that motivates me, and sometimes

it annoys me.

Anyway, sometimes it's great for me because I get more of a rest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's good stuff.

When he's with me because I'm slower.

Anyway, I ended up being near this woman who was there with her, her friend or trainer,

I think, and they were really like, have it a great time.

They were in a lot of fun, and I was really picking up on their energy.

And at one point she was doing an exercise, and she had just paused and was like looking

into the depths of hell, and I was on the floor, and I had paused, looking down into

my own depths of hell, and we just caught eyes, and she just turned to me and was like,

I want an effin' wine, and I was like, hello, soul sister.

Yeah.

Hey, soul sister, ain't you miss the mister on the radio?

Stereo, the way you move is.

I started singing that.

I didn't really know the chorus of that.

That is the chorus.

And you clearly did it.

All I know is, hey, soul sister.

Well, that's what I thought when I saw this woman.

It was so great.

And then I was like, come on, and then so she started moving, and then when she started

moving, I started moving again, and then for the rest of the class, we kind of kept catching

eyes and laughing about how much we just wanted to leave.

She was like, maybe I'll just leave.

I was like, maybe I'll just come with you.

Shall we go get a wine now?

Yeah.

And it was so nice at the end of the class, she came up and introduced herself.

She was like, I'm JJ, not a scandal queenie, by the way.

You'd know that, though, because she would be wearing her crown.

Yeah, she wasn't wearing the crown.

Okay, so you knew.

There's a scandal on the thing.

Yeah.

And then it was just a beautiful friendship and a beautiful moment, and I really, really

enjoyed meeting her.

And then she was like, thank you so much for the encouragement, really helped me get through.

And I was like, thank you so much for the encouragement.

I was really suffering there.

And then I said to her as we were leaving, she yelled at me like, you got to get a wine?

It was 11 a.m. in the morning.

And I was like, it's actually a little bit late for me to be getting a wine.

So I said, next time we'll go get a wine after this class.

I said, I'll see you in the next one.

You've made a friend.

I've made a friend.

Now, you know me.

I make friends anywhere and everywhere I go.

Awful.

I collect them.

Yeah.

And it was, it was really nice.

The power.

All these wines though, they really have it, you know, like they're only going to make

it harder.

Sorry?

What?

What?

I think doing a really intense class followed by a glass of wine.

It's a painkiller.

It is a painkiller.

It eases recovery.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Play.

Zedem's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Science has worked out that what you see in the mirror is not what other people see.

Two reasons.

Pardon me?

Oh yeah.

It's mirrored.

Yeah.

It's mirrored.

It reversed and you do look different reversed.

Like sometimes if you put your, is it a setting?

Oh, it's a setting on zoom.

Yup.

When you're looking at zoom and it's mirrored, you can go unmirror.

So it just shows you and you're like, what happened?

I know.

You look like a different person.

There's, I think if you do a selfie on, in Instagram.

Yes.

It mirrors that, but if you just put it on your phone, it flips it.

It flips it.

Yeah.

It flips it on the phone.

And when it flips it on the phone, I'm like, ooh, what a dog.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Cute.

On the phone.

Dog.

Wait, so you like the flipped one better?

No, the flipped one's worse.

Dog.

Really?

Dog?

Cutie.

Oh, do you think Instagram's got a bit of a built in smoother?

Sorry.

No, I'm not saying I can't smile.

I'm known for my smooth skin.

Oh yeah.

I can't see from here.

This is interesting.

I'm just wondering what else.

So the majority of people think they look different than they do.

Yes.

And here's the, the kicker.

Yeah.

Professor Epley, who did this research, also co-authored a study in how people see themselves

and found that people recognize their own faces as being more physically attractive than

they actually are.

Oh no.

So if you think we're way uglier than we think we are.

Yeah, well you're ugly.

You're not as hot as you think you are.

Yeah.

It's depressing, isn't it?

Unless you're one of those people that sees it as a compliment fish because you know,

you know you're attractive.

Ugly people don't tend to air the issue.

Oh God, I'm so ugly.

Oh my God, I know.

You are.

You are.

Oh, I was fishing.

No, but he's talking about when attractive people say.

Yeah.

That was a good fit.

Not when mingas profess their mingerness.

Yeah.

We're like, the man's bigger than truth.

Yeah.

It's nice that, you know what, it's nice that, you know, it's a bad thing.

Yeah, it's good because it will be so awkward to have to tell them.

You guys keep me grounded and that's what I love about you guys, you know.

Some more to keep grounded.

Okay.

Absolutely.

Why do they say this?

Is it because we, the mirror itself or we just don't see ourselves enough?

Well, when we see ourself, it's a reflection.

It's not what they see.

Right?

It's a mirror.

But it's not even that.

It's a bias to one's own face.

It's like a.

A bias to your own face.

A primal part of the brain to be like, you have to, I mean, it's a kind of is by definition.

I don't use the word arrogance on this, but it has said the, there's an enhancement bias

for one's face and a friend's face, but not a stranger's face.

Right.

So we'd look objectively at a stranger.

Because I guess you can associate with your friend.

You're like, that is also a person I like.

Yeah.

So I'll give them a couple of extra points for that.

For that ming and billboard they got on the, on the front of their head there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because I like them a couple of points.

On the five head.

Because I like them.

But yeah, you don't give a stranger.

So that's why when you don't know someone, you might not be into them, but then when

you get to know them, you find them more attractive as well.

You get more attracted to them.

Okay.

Because you've given yourself a chance to get to know them.

You like other things about them and it adds a couple of bonus points.

Be realistic.

Take a couple of points off this weekend.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take yourself down from a 10 to an eight.

Yeah.

From an eight to a six and six to a four.

Four to a two.

I mean, you know what you are.

You know what you're working with already?

Yeah.

Just make it a slight deflation of it.

Yeah.

I know there's a lot of talk about inflation lately.

Yeah.

But we need to deflate those numbers.

Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards.

So.

Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it?

We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give us a review.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.