ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 24th October 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Flesh Fawn and Haley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McAfay coffee with my MACAs rewards.

Good morning, welcome to the show Flesh Fawn and Haley, hello short week.

What's up?

Hello short week, you beautiful thing.

Thank God I needed it.

She needed a bit more.

Could have had a week a little bit shorter.

Yeah, I could have done another day.

Kids are going to teachers only day today.

Oh.

Teachers now that one ain't.

Teachers are good at that.

Teachers now that one.

They know what they're doing.

They have now that.

Yeah, well done to teachers.

I mean, they could have had a teacher's only day in a couple of weeks time.

No.

No.

Have it today.

No.

Smart from them.

Really smart.

Just your kid's school or all teachers.

Well, I'm sure there are other schools, but I can't speak to them.

I can only speak for my children's school.

So I think you're not speaking for all schools.

I wouldn't dare.

Some would.

Far be it from a white straight man to speak on behalf of all schools.

Yeah.

I appreciate it.

The top six coming up.

Lord has been spotted.

Yes.

The Lord.

The Lord.

Jesus himself.

Oh my God.

I knew this day would come.

I told you.

I told you.

Yeah.

Female Lord musical recording artist.

Yeah.

Ella.

Yellow Joe Connor.

Yeah.

Right in the subway in New York.

Like an ordinary pleb.

I know.

How dare she.

And people are like.

What?

What?

I love when like big celebs get spotted on though.

Kiana Reeves.

I love that.

I'd say Kiana Reeves subway photos are the best ones.

Because if you've ever been to New York, you've got to take the subway.

Yeah.

You can't be getting ubers or taxis.

Take forever.

Don't some people catch the bloody subway to the Met Gala and stuff like that?

Yeah.

Have a bit of fun?

Why not?

I thought she would have had like a mask or something for disguise.

Because you have a mask for COVID.

On the New York subway.

I didn't share a mask.

Oh, the photo I saw she had it off.

Oh, it's the same.

Yeah.

Okay.

Right.

Well, the top six are dealing with this celebrity sighting.

The top six are the normal thing celebrities do apparently.

Goodness me.

Believe it when I see it.

Delvin to that.

So next on the show though.

I watched a lot of sport at a weekend.

Yeah.

Just releasing the vents, the pressure vents.

I watched the all blacks.

I watched the black ferns.

I watched the Kiwis play rugby league.

I watched the black cats.

I fell asleep in a band bag.

Watching the cricket.

Okay.

No, I watched the start.

Oh, you watched the start.

Okay.

And then fell asleep.

And then at the end, you probably were getting up to watch the end.

But something happened.

Very interesting statistic about something that happened around half time of the all blacks game.

Eight o'clock.

Approximately.

Eight o'clock in the morning on Saturday was the all blacks kickoff.

It'll be Sunday this week.

The...

Yeah, Sunday, eight o'clock.

Final.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What do they call it?

The grand final.

It's just the final, isn't it?

It's the final game.

It's the grand final.

NRL calls their final the grand final.

The grand final.

Maybe they've taken it.

Yeah, and they're a bit up themselves.

Yeah.

Right.

So this is just the down to earth humble World Cup final.

No Jimmy Barnes at half time.

Tina Turner.

None of that.

Yeah, carry on.

It would be nice though.

Crying show.

I think there's some half time entertainment.

Half time goes for a long time too.

Are you having a watching viewing party?

Apparently.

Fantastic.

I'll come.

Yeah, I got an invite.

Apparently.

Didn't come from Vaughan, but it came from Chateau.

So it's just as good.

Vaughan's happy.

Yeah.

Weekend mornings when Chateau doesn't get up for a while,

he generally my video game times.

Okay.

And lately she's been wanting to watch rugby games.

I've been getting right in the way of my boulders go through.

Oh yeah.

I mean everyone's supposed to get this out of the way and get on a Spider-Man 2.

I don't know.

Okay.

With my work hours interrupted.

What will we do with Spa afterwards?

I've been promised mimosas.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So I was thinking mimosas.

I'll lose interest in the game.

Bring tons.

We'll slip to the Spa.

Fantastic.

Carry on the mimosas, but remove the orange juice from it because it's just taken up bulk.

Unnecessary calories and orange juice.

And then I have to call Aaron to come pick me up, I guess.

Okay.

So the power grid, the demand in megawatts, and just before eight, about 10 to eight,

it goes up.

Yeah, right.

That's everyone switching on their tellies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Everyone's switching on their tellies.

That was about 4, 4, 5, 0 megawatts.

How much is a megawatt?

I've got no idea what this is.

It's a million watts, isn't it?

Is it?

Well, I don't know.

I generally have megas in front of something.

It means a million.

How much does the kettle use?

Well, that's what we, they think happens at about 850.

Huge spike.

And they think it was everyone getting a half-time cuppa.

This is like the British one where it would get to the first ad break of Coronation Street.

Oh, yeah.

And everyone, the massive drain on the national grid because everybody would flick on the

jugs.

And of course they're a high drain device.

But yeah, it jumped from 4, 4, 5, 0 to 4, 6, 5, 0.

So a massive jump.

So kettle power will use 2,000 watts between 2,000 and 2,400.

During the Great Kiwi Kettle Off of 2023, we blew a lot of fuses in this room.

But you're talking about megawatts.

So yeah, that's a lot of people switching on the kettle.

Yeah.

And it boosted right up and then just tapers back off back to basically what it was.

Yeah, right.

But it took a while.

But see, half-time I think that's when I was on eggs.

So I had the oven going in, I would have had the jug going.

See, you were using a lot of watts.

Yeah.

OK.

There's really what?

What?

Out there.

What?

In the kitchen.

What?

Yeah.

Well, that's why this weekend when we're watching it, we don't need a kettle.

Just pop a bottle.

No, it'll be the fruit.

You'll be able to see this so often though.

It'll be a spa bubble.

Oh, yeah, the spa will be cranking.

The spa will turn the spa bubbles on.

Yeah.

Because there are way we could tilt your TV to face the spa.

No.

Run an AV call.

Can we run an AV call?

Can we get an AV call?

Can we get a projector going on the outside or something?

I guess it's not going to happen.

You guys can watch it.

No, no, we can make it work if we just remove your TV from the wall.

No, we can watch it on my time.

What's the weather doing?

It's going to be rainy night.

That's cleaning.

I can't take my TV outside if it's raining.

Oh, we'll put a brolly over it.

It'll be a perfect little setup, actually.

A little warehouse gazebo.

What are you making us for lunch?

We're doing brunch, brekkie.

Oh, he's going to get on the barbecue.

He's going to cook some bacon.

We'll bring some bacon.

You'll bring bacon.

We'll bring bacon.

Don't bring middle bacon.

Oh, no.

You'll bring middle bacon.

You'll bring middle bacon and a mulled fryer for your rally.

You'll bring shoulder.

You'll bring shoulder.

You'll bring shoulder.

Yeah, then he's going to be bacon and eat pies.

That's only going to be chopped up and used in a bacon.

No, no, no.

No, he's streaky.

He's too expensive for him.

He's going bet-a-lay.

No, he's going middle.

They have the only streaky bacon.

Oh, he's going middle.

Oh, I'm embarrassed.

Oh, do you dare tarnish me with being a middle bacon person?

Oh, bro.

And streaky.

And streaky, hon, don't worry.

My God.

And here you can cook your middle bacon on the pan.

That'll get all pulled up.

The skin will go real chewy, like bloody rubber.

Leather.

How dare you?

Now, there is a mum on the talk who has basically exposed what she is calling a double standard

between husbands and wives that exist in heterosexual family structures and one that

would be you.

Yep.

Unless I mean I actually I just I just pigeonholed you then I don't know what you guys get up

to on the weekend.

If it's completely heterosexual, perhaps it could be might can be completely bi sexually

nothing sexual.

Okay.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Just chilling just chilling just couple of mates sharing a mortgage and getting ready

for their friends to watch rugby next weekend in this bubble and we really need to get this

TV issue sorted though.

I've just had terrible news I'm getting COVID on Friday.

Oh my God, I had to test this morning because everyone know one person that I was hanging

out with that the weekend got it and I was like, don't you dare give it to me when I

saw that I was like, oh no, here we go.

Third time around.

But when did you last see them?

A while ago.

Yeah.

Thursday.

No, you would have been fine.

Oh yeah.

True.

We all did.

We were literally all arms around each other.

Thank God I haven't seen them for weeks.

Thursday bro.

Oh, I'm near.

No, anyway.

We're near you.

We're near you.

Anyway, so this mum.

Secretly though.

Vorensite.

This would cancel the rugby party.

This would.

Give me.

I'm going to look at my cowl and find out if there's a mooch event this week.

They're opening a new store.

I'd like to miss it.

Okay.

And then we're doing cocktails on Friday.

It's really not a good weekend for me actually.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'll tell COVID.

Thank you.

Report it to COVID.

Anyway, this mother has called out basically the difference between men and women's hobbies

within the family and she's like, like men's hobbies often remove them from the house.

They get to go out and spend extended periods of time.

Golf.

Golf is a massive example.

She has highlighted.

Golf blows my mind that men with children on a weekend will just be like, hey, I'm going

to play golf and I'll be gone for eight hours.

I'm going to come back pissed and don't see that it's, yeah, it's rough.

Yeah.

It's so rough.

I'm coming back.

Booze.

And I'm not going to be able to do.

I'm not going to have to come and pick me up from the club.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's one example of it, or like you say fishing or cricket or rugby, social sports

often takes the men out of the house, whereas the women who are still very much considered

the sort of default parent in a lot of traditional setups have to work their hobbies around the

family structure and the family schedule and that a lot of the hobbies that they think

that women like or that they're kind of forced into actually end up serving the family.

Things like gardening.

Yeah.

It's kind of housework.

Yeah.

Now you might really enjoy it.

I know, you know, when you enjoy working in the garden, but it's still serving your

family and keeping you in the house and available to your, to your family, to your kids.

So they say like women's hobbies, gardening, book clubs, painting a yoga can all be done

around the family schedule, whereas a lot of men, they get to just take these like massive

hours away from their families.

They're like women love baking.

I'm still cooking food.

You're going to eat it.

Love gardening.

You still get to look at this garden.

Whereas in your house, it would be completely flipped around because your cocktail kind

of events, your hobbies, cocktails do remove me from the household for quite a while.

Yeah.

Eight hours would be a pleasure.

And yes, I will be coming home intoxicated.

Well, when you were marching, though, that would be hours at the weekend, wouldn't it?

Months.

Yeah.

I'll just be gone.

So yes, the role is different in our household.

And a lot of Aaron's hobbies, like doing things with his hands serve the household.

Well, I haven't played with themself when you're at marching.

Serves the household.

Serves the household.

Just takes the job off my hands, doesn't it?

Keeps his testosterone levels at a manageable level, doesn't it?

Yeah, exactly.

Isn't it?

Sorry.

Distracted.

Um, Lord, at the weekend was spotted in New York City right in the subway.

And people are like, look at this celebrity right in the subway.

How rich is Lord?

Do we reckon?

Rich.

Rich.

Rich?

Well, she wouldn't.

I wouldn't be ridin' the subway.

I wouldn't go like Lord net worth, but if you Google mine.

Fletcher's was $69 million.

Oh yeah, I think they really got their wires crossed there.

Yeah.

Good Lord.

No, but if you lived in New York, you would 100% take the subway even if you were rich

and famous.

Screw that traffic.

Because the traffic just doesn't move.

Let you get on a subway, you're there.

I'd probably have a pretty cool bike.

Oh, you're like a little e-bike.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm just saying around the 20 mil mark, American.

Okay.

Okay.

So, uh...

It's got nothing on you, does she?

$69 million.

Fletcher's $69 million.

God, I wish that was true.

Probably photo on the train there with an excited fan and people are like, what is she

doing?

Having a normal life?

I've got to say, you've got this giant cube hanging off your beard.

Do you?

Yeah.

That's not a cube.

That's literally someone else's hair.

Someone's hair.

They look like my hair.

Oh no, too brown.

It's brown.

But it's too light for...

Are you cheating on me?

Oh my God.

Exposed.

Got ya.

Got me.

Got ya.

Who is she?

I don't know.

Maybe my wife.

Well, here again.

See, there I am shoving you into a heteronormous box and I really apologize.

If I was a dataman, I'd say I'd want his hair to be about that long.

Just so I could get a good handful.

Yeah, a bit of Aaron, eh?

That's what you want.

Is someone a tug on?

Nah.

Aaron's is too long.

We'll be blocking up the bloody...

Clogging up the train.

Clogging up the train in the shower.

So, Lord's got a normal life, guys.

So, over in the top six things that apparently...

Top six normal things that celebrities do.

Okay.

Number six on the list.

Apparently they have to sleep.

Did you know this?

Well, that's wild.

How do they fit that into the day?

But being a busy all-go, all-the-time celebrity.

Well, didn't Michael Jackson did it in a chamber?

It was propofol.

Delicious propofol.

Delicious.

Maybe a bit too much, you could say.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, yeah.

Someone say it's a sometimes treat.

I get some in a couple of weeks getting colonoscopy.

Have you asked specifically for it

so they don't give you the other junk?

This is what I got last time at the same place.

It's on my medical notes now.

The other one they gave me didn't work real well.

Oh, I will touch base.

I will touch base.

Yeah, make sure it's a propofol.

Are you worried you're going to embarrass yourself again?

Yep.

God knows what I'll say.

Number five on the list of the top six

are the normal things celebrities apparently do.

Normal everyday pleb boring

waste of space people like me and you.

Word is they have to drink water to stay hydrated.

Wild.

Jeepers.

I thought they would have just been drinking liquid gold.

Yeah, and champagne.

And champagne.

Actual champagne from the Champagne Valley in France.

Not just bubbly, prosiequial.

They don't go out of the tap though with their water, do they?

No, no, no.

I reckon they got mouth straight on the tap.

Okay.

Like a horse.

My bloody daughter,

pushing the button on the fridge

and getting water straight out of the fridge

into her mouth.

And when I called her, I was like,

hey, and she went and spat the water and I was like,

how long have you been doing that for?

And she's like, oh, I'm just doing what I can't be bothered

getting a glass.

I'm like, that is feral.

Is she a teenage boy?

That's what a teenage boy would do.

Big teenage boy energy.

She's lippin' the milk as well.

No doubt.

Because we buy the milk and the three liters.

I don't think they're strong enough to lipp the milk.

True.

Get the whole three liters up there.

Before on the list of the top six other things celebrities

apparently do, just like normal people,

I've heard rumors have it

that they do poos.

No, they don't.

Celebrities do poos.

Well, that's insane.

No, they don't.

Celebrities do poos.

Oh, no, they don't.

Absolutely don't.

In fact, your favorite celebrity

has probably pooned in the last couple of days.

Imagine that.

Think of the hottest celebrity,

like the celebrity that you've got an absolute crush on.

And right now imagine then,

Jason Marmowe's dumps would be huge.

Yeah, I can imagine.

Huge.

He drinks a lot.

I had had booze poos.

And it'd have a tang to it.

He's a big dude.

You know he's on the pro.

He's on the pro.

Loves meat.

Yeah.

That dude would lay monsters.

He would.

But you would forgive that.

It would be my pleasure to smell it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was disgusting.

That was creepy.

The queen does poops.

Did poops.

She's dead.

I hope she doesn't still do poops.

Yeah.

She's in a container.

The queen and queen, they do poops.

Everybody does poops.

Yeah.

Number three.

There was an R.E.M. song, hey.

Everybody poops.

Yeah.

Sometimes.

Number three on the list of the top six other things celebrities apparently do like normal

people.

You know what they say about celebrities now.

Some of them have self-doubts.

Good.

No, they're full of self-confidence and perfect lives.

No, I'm beginning to think maybe behind the scenes.

No, I can see it.

There's a platform form.

You're missing it.

There's a platform called Instagram.

Yeah.

And you can see into their real lives unfiltered.

Unfiltered.

Perfect.

Unfiltered.

This is going to blow your mind.

I think a lot of them are just putting their best foot forward and not sharing their moments.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I don't know about that.

Unless they're those ones that are constantly sharing their bad moments in an effort on a

pretension or something.

Really?

Yeah.

Number two on the list of the top six other things celebrities apparently do like normal

people are argue with their partners about stacking the dishwasher.

I saw your story at the weekend.

Go to your wife is not getting any better at that, is she?

She's terrible at it.

I got to open it up last night and I was like, I saw the spatulas on the lower level.

Sorry?

Yeah.

The spatulas in the cup level.

The spatulas on the lower level.

She's just stacked up.

She just chucked them all on top of each other.

She's mad.

She's absolutely mad.

I was on Team Shade, but...

No, she's crazy.

No, she's got no idea how to stack a dishwasher.

That's actually loco.

That is straight loco.

Yeah.

And then somebody said to me, because it was plastic and then they said, oh, you don't

put plastic in the dishwasher.

It releases chemicals.

And I said, all right, Lizgum.

And then they sent me a link to an official Fischer & Pico part of the website, bang,

what we do not recommend washing plastics in the dishwasher.

Really?

Can you believe it?

I thought all of that was dishwasher safe, though.

You know, like a silicon spatula?

Yeah.

But it was like, okay?

It was like, okay?

Or just plastic.

Okay.

But then if one does say it's dishwasher safe, I'm assuming that, yeah, that it's fine.

Loops the plastic.

I'm just trying to go on your Instagram to see this.

Oh, it's a story.

It's expired.

It's gone.

I don't really keep tabs on you.

You know, I need to visit more often.

Please do.

Pop in any time.

Pre-occupied Nelson at the weekend, were they?

From what I remember.

And number one on the list of the top six other things celebrities do, just like normal

people, like the Lord was spotted on the subway.

Having a panic attack in the middle of the night that one day their internet history

will be leaked to the public and they'll have to explain everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is that coming from?

I had once upon a time, I can't even explain it, I wasn't on drugs.

I hadn't been drinking that much.

I was overseas.

Maybe I was a little bit sleep deprived.

And I was like, what if one day someone releases your internet history?

And I was just like...

But I erase it regularly.

The cookies are actually the case.

You do the cookies in the case.

I do the cookies in case.

Once a week.

Cookies in case.

I love a slice of cake with a couple of cookies in the class in October.

They're going to know.

Nothing will clear that.

They're going to know.

That is today's top six.

Now on Friday last week, was that?

Yes.

After our Fletcher Vaughn Hayley live show, which again, thank you so much for those.

Bloody great.

Huge night.

Huge night.

And the next day, we were somewhat dusted.

I think it took me two days to recover.

Lack of sleep and a few drinks.

Yeah, totally.

And then just your adrenaline, it's a lot.

But the next day, Show Spawn McDonald's delivered us some nuggies,

because they know that we love the nugs.

And we knew this was happening.

And we had spoken about, we'd dreamed up how good it would be

to have Donald's nuggies dipped into butter chicken.

And we talked about it for a while.

A few listeners had messaged in saying, oh my God, you simply must.

You simply must.

And so Vaughn, king of our hearts, ordered a butter chicken with his family curry.

Well, because we went, we went out for the live show and Shade went out with the gaggle

for a Mexican pre, but she ordered for delivery, Indian food for the kids and her dad,

who was looking after them.

And I said, chuck an extra butter chicken on there.

And she said, why?

And I said, you will not question me all from this.

So I'd rather not tell you.

Yeah.

And then I've got pulled in the fridge in the next morning.

I bought in the butter chicken.

So then we had the heated up butter chicken, the nonnies nug, and then we dipped.

And it was heaven.

It was amazing.

It was amazing.

And we were talking about this.

And then either my algorithm has heard this or we've actually created a movement.

Okay.

On my Instagram reels, I kept getting shown and I sent it to you guys.

Butter chicken dumplings.

Making dumplings, chicken dumplings.

You made them by hand.

Are they pan-fried?

Yeah, pan-fried.

Yeah, good stuff.

Whether they're a kiss of water to steam the top, then the butter chicken over the top.

Butter chicken dumplings.

Yeah, that's good.

So she actually makes these dumplings by hand.

Yeah, I make dumplings by hand.

You know what?

There are some great supermarket dumplings.

There are.

Save the time.

So a couple of dollars a bag.

Save your time.

Yeah, they are good.

But they aren't fun to make.

So you'll never be able to make them cheaper.

No.

No, you won't.

It's like homemade pizza.

It's like making homemade pizza.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, my God.

How was this 40 bucks?

So, Fletch, you said next dot time with a gassed face.

And Vaughn said, f off and get in.

Get in me now.

And now I'm like, are we ignited something?

Because I've always said on behalf of white people.

A macaroni cheese with butter chicken sauce will be legit.

You're not wrong.

That would be amazing.

What else can we put with butter chicken sauce?

Sausages.

Oh, my God.

Like a deviled sausage.

There's kind of a deviled sausage.

A curried sausage.

Yeah, but a butter chicken is not a traditional curry.

No.

Very creamy.

It's not a curry powder, curry.

What else could we do?

What about toast?

What about cheese toasty?

Oh, yeah.

White bread, butter, cheese.

Maybe a bit of onion.

Or just like dipping a ruben into a butter chicken.

Yeah, good stuff.

Oh, that might take too much away from the existing like pickly.

And mine.

That's what I mean.

Just a classic cheese toasty.

Yeah.

Really buttered.

Yeah.

Dipped into a butter chicken sauce.

I think stuff.

Just anything that's traditionally saucy,

you could change the sauce out for a butter chicken sauce.

Yeah, totally.

You could.

Fish and chips.

No.

No, that's already a thing.

Like in England, you can get curry sauce on them.

No, but not butter chicken.

But not butter chicken.

Man, this is all I'm saying is this week,

if you ever feel like you want a little treat,

think about what you want and then add butter chicken.

You've got to pre-plan your hangover day.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah, with some butter chicken sauce.

This is genius.

If I know I'm going out, I'm going to order a curry

and put it in the fridge and be like,

nobody touched that.

That's tomorrow's treat.

Life's just better with butter chicken sauce.

That's a fact.

That's a fact.

Put on a t-shirt.

Well, over the long weekend, Vegemite turned 100.

Happy birthday, Vegemite.

I'm off tutorial.

I'm off tutorial.

Three years after it was made, it was sold to Kraft.

And then a few years ago, it was sold back to Beggy Group.

Well, Beggy Group, which is like a big food,

dairy and food group in Australia.

Yeah, the cheese.

It's back.

Yeah, it's Australian again.

2017, that happened.

Right.

They bought it back for $460 million.

$20 million jars of Vegemite are sold a year in Australia alone.

I love Vegemite.

Yum.

So do you reckon they've paid it off yet?

At $460 million?

Do you reckon they've paid it off?

I don't know, maybe.

$20 million a jar.

$20 million jars.

What does that make in a couple of bucks on a jar?

Yeah, make in a couple of bucks.

Yeah.

Well, you can only pick one.

Vegemite or Marmite?

Which is it going to be?

Marmite.

Was it during, no, it was before COVID, the Marmite shortage?

Yes.

Was it the Marmite shortage?

And was it something to do with the Christchurch quake?

Earthquake.

Yeah, remember that?

It was the factory.

The factory, yeah.

Correct.

I remember that.

People went nuts.

People went nuts.

We'll just eat Vegemite.

It's better anyway.

It's a real conundrum for me because I don't like Vegemite,

but Sanitarium don't pay tax.

And that's a real sticky point there, isn't it?

A sticky point for me.

No, Marmite's too bitter for me.

Vegemite's just got a kiss of, it's lighter.

Vegemite's brown.

Marmite's black.

Like black, black.

Wow.

When you're spitting on your toast, it doesn't look.

And it tastes like that.

It's so tea.

Really?

No, it's definitely better.

A lot of butter.

And just a kiss of Marmite.

A lot of butter is a must of both.

Yeah, a butter is an absolute must.

And avocado.

Vegemite.

And a couple of Peccals.

Chilli flakes.

Peccals.

Poached egg.

No, no, no.

Yeah, good stuff.

Yeah.

You can only pick one Vegemite or Marmite.

67% of people said Marmite.

33% said Vegemite.

Yes!

That's the whole Marmite's made here situation, isn't it?

I knew I was normal and in the majority.

That's wrong.

Okay, Josh says Marmite mostly because of the black color.

Vegemite's browner color is a little off-putting for me.

A little pussy.

Right the other way around.

It's less threatening.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

At least daunting.

It's just a spread.

It's like you're putting motor oil on your toast.

Yeah, that's for me.

Versus putting a savorineatella.

Right, yeah.

Yes, savorineatella.

Ah, Ramon says how about neither?

That stuff is rank.

Yeasty spreads is a no-go.

Yeah, I don't mean to be honest.

I hardly ever eat it.

Yes, same.

I'm a type 1 diabetic, says Melody.

Okay.

And one time my blood sugar levels were dropping fast and all my friends had at their flat.

In terms of food was a jar of Vegemite.

I had to eat half a jar of Vegemite straight with a spoon and I've never looked at it the

same since.

I feel like there were more options there.

Just have a spoonful of sugar.

How's the medicine go down?

Yeah.

The medicine go down.

I don't know if that works for a type 1 diabetic.

Yeah, but with your blood sugars were crashing, don't you need a fast hit?

They have jelly beans and stuff.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

I don't know how it works.

Well, half a can of Marmite.

Both.

They're horrid.

They're the devil's version of Nutella, says Bex.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Don't bring the devil into this.

Selma, because my mum didn't force us to eat Marmite, like she forced us to eat Vegemite

and let's face it, Marmite hits different probably because it's a tad sweeter.

It's not sweeter.

I've never noted it to be sweeter.

That's not sweet about it.

Gemma said I'm an Australian Vegemite.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Rachel, I actually use Bovril.

Brits know what they're doing when it comes to spreads, but would put Vegemite out of

these two.

Bovril.

Bovril is black soot.

It's the same, right?

It's a yeasty spread.

Yeah, it is.

But it's runny.

But Marmite, I'm reading this article about...

Oh, it's beefy.

Is that?

Oh, beefy on a...

Salty meat extract paste.

Bovril is a trademark of the thick and salty meat extract paste, similar to a yeast extract,

except meat developed in the 18th century.

Dusting.

How is British Marmite different?

Because Marmite is what Vegemite ripped off 100 years ago, so they made their own version,

which is Vegemite.

When you go to the UK and you have Marmite there, it is.

It's really runny and thin.

Oh, really?

Like almost a golden syrup.

Gold and syrup consists...

Yeah, like a honey.

Really?

Okay.

As opposed to ours, which is more gelatinous.

Like...

Okay.

Take it, take it, take it.

And Terrell says,

No, thank you.

Yeast spreads are gross.

Long live jam.

Sweet delicious jam.

Jam's pretty great.

Jam's pretty, pretty bloody.

Do you know when this radio show interrupts our catching up, doesn't it?

We were just trying to catch up, and then the song finished.

We could have done another verse there.

Very rude.

Very rude, actually.

Very rude.

TBC, to be continued.

Now, there is a man who is a millennial.

Stop touching your pimple.

You're blocking the microphone.

I know, I know, but I just feel like my whole mouth can't move.

It's fine.

Oh, no.

He is in his 30s, and he is the same age as me.

And he is a millennial.

And he was told by a Genzia at the club to leave.

Because the way he was dancing was too old.

Now, the millennial, the dance move in question was,

he put his hands up in the air.

Wait, do we not put our hands up in the air anymore at the club?

Put your hands up in the air.

Put your hands up in the air.

As someone commented, we've been told to put our hands up in the air

and wave them like they just don't care.

That is our legacy.

Yeah.

That is what we do.

Yeah.

Now, apparently, let's head to a Genzia.

Shannon.

Oh, Shannon shaking her head.

Oh, guys.

Come on.

Put your hands up in the air.

Why don't you put your hands up?

Because we're not in our 40s.

Wow.

Most of us are.

No, it's not about that anymore.

What do you do when you get excited when the beat drops?

What do you do?

I feel like it's a one-handed like...

So it's more like a...

Your fist bumping.

Yeah.

Kind of like a...

All right.

You're holding the shoulder, but the arm doesn't extend.

And the cowboys back.

Everyone kind of will be like, woo!

Cowboy lesson.

Okay, guys, we've got this completely wrong.

I put my hands up in the air.

Do you know what this happened to me on the weekend?

I was in Nelson.

Yeah.

It's the Nelson Arts Festival at the moment.

Go and see some things of you down there.

But after my show...

Oh, my God.

Okay, maybe we'll talk about this later.

Do you just have a flashback?

No, no, no.

I just was...

For the first time, I had an interpreter at my show.

Oh, you're a sign language interpreter.

It was so amazing.

Oh, my God.

Because you've seen my show.

It's very forward.

It's very...

Yeah.

Physically graphic.

And these poor two interpreters had to keep...

Yeah.

Interpreting.

Interpreting, I said.

I hope you know the sign for the term labia.

And the guy was like, I've got it.

And then every time...

What was it?

Every time I would say...

Get out of town.

Get out of town.

I know.

New Zealand sign language.

I don't know.

Because sometimes they do it differently to capture the humour

and to capture the joke.

Right.

So when...

Oh, it was amazing.

Did he hold it?

Maybe we should get into this in a podcast only.

Yeah, we will.

A little bit of pod because then we can be explicit.

Yeah.

And it was actually just one of the best experiences.

They made my show so much funnier.

Like, because I would do the joke.

The audience would laugh.

And then they'd want to look at the interpreter and be like,

how the hell are they going to say this?

That's what I always do when there's a sign language interpreter.

Because they're like a couple of beats behind.

Yeah.

Because they're doing the translation.

I know.

Anyway, amazing.

Because after my show, I was on such a buzz.

I went out and saw this band and I was so cool.

They were called Keita.

And I went...

My friend was like, do you know Keita?

And I was like, yeah, I know Keita.

Thinking it was Keita of Keita and Anita the drag queen.

And I turned up and it was like, cool band.

And I was like, OK.

And then I was like...

My friend was like, let's have a dance.

And I just was in there like, I don't know how to dance anymore.

And there's like cool, like, Gen Z singer of the band.

She was so cool.

Anyone around me was so cool.

And I was like, oh my God, it's happened.

And I put my hands up in the ear and I was like, it's just so cute.

And apparently I was like...

You don't know you don't do that.

You don't do that.

Now, if we're not supposed to put our hands up,

why did LL Cool J make a song about it?

Yeah.

DJ Khaled made a song about it.

Kylie Minogue knew.

Yeah.

But again, these are about it.

The people you're naming are right now...

What's your hands up in the air?

Over 30.

Benny Benassi.

Heard.

Are you telling me that Benny Benassi has put his crook this whole time?

Matchbox 20.

Okay.

The Bomb Funk MCs.

Yeah, these songs are all like 10, 20, 30 years old.

Fiddle it around.

We're going to see Matchbox 20.

Let's not highlight how old that is of us.

Well, anyway, if you're over the age of 26 or something,

apparently we've got to stop putting our hands up in the air.

Put your hands down.

Put your hands down.

And just like kind of sway side to side.

Is that...

Yeah.

Okay.

We could grab onto a glass of wine with two hands

and then that's your hand sorted.

Bop.

Bop around.

Bop around.

Yeah.

Good luck to everyone out there.

I can't wait till it does the full loop

and Mum's wedding dance comes back into fashion.

When Mum's...

She twists the wrists.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they always twist in the wrists.

Thanks.

Chanel!

Chanel!

Come on!

Get up!

Chanel!

Come on!

This is so good.

Okay.

So you know that I recently had a birthday?

And...

Won't stop going on about it.

You're still making it?

I have won a year.

Do you?

Coincidentally.

I skip a few.

I'm actually 56.

Are you?

Yeah.

But I'm 34.

That makes sense.

Yeah.

And you know on your birthday,

all these places you sign up to,

like mailing lists of clothing stores you like

or beauty brands or whatever,

they all send you a little birthday treat.

You know?

I feel like they used to.

Not as much anymore.

Maybe, maybe...

I don't know.

To pub.

Halitow, where we spent my birthday,

gave me a $50 voucher for my birthday.

Yeah.

But that's only a small percentage of the money

you've given them over the course of a year.

Invested.

Vaughn Race is a great point there, Hailey.

I've invested in them.

Right.

Okay.

That's like the Casino giving a problem gambler

a free token, you know?

Like it's just...

Okay.

He's feeding the problem.

Hey, I put it towards our tab.

Yeah.

Or places that give you like,

are you there when the tab was settled, Hailey?

No.

Well, my card paid for it

and my wallet behind.

It's so nice of you.

Thank you.

But places when it's your birthday,

they're like, oh, happy birthday.

Here's 5% off.

So they're saying, okay, happy birthday.

Come and spend money.

Yes.

And we'll give you a minuscule amount of money.

I'm not trying to pretend that they're being generous.

I'm just going, I love the little treat.

Mecca does a good treat on your birthday.

You get a little birthday box.

This year, I got...

You don't have to spend anything at Mecca.

Well, if you're going in,

top up a couple of things.

Right.

Okay.

You're a very cheap moisturizer.

So I'll just grab one of those while I'm there.

Yeah.

So this person shared on TikTok that they basically sign up

to one thing for every day of the week,

every day of the year, sorry.

So that each day of the year, they get something free.

So going like...

But do you have to prove to them it's your birthday?

No.

Or are you just when you sign up and say,

this is my date of birth?

Yeah.

So they go, other than Christmas and New Year's,

because they're like, I'm not going out on those days.

So they would sign up to something free.

And they'd put it in a spreadsheet.

So it'd be like, today is October 24th.

I'd open up my spreadsheet and be like,

I've got a voucher for a movie because it's my birthday.

And they said the admin of it is extreme.

Because every day, they're getting an email saying,

hey, here's your birthday surprise inside.

You're going to spend it by this day.

But that's also the thing is because it's your birthday,

when you get those emails on your,

on the lead up to your birthday,

often you'll just be like, oh, that'll be great.

And then you get busy and forget you've got them.

I use none of mine other than the Halitel one and the Mecca one.

But I was like, this is genius.

So anytime we sign up to something,

just put a different date in your spreadsheet.

Put, OK, for this date, I've signed up to this clothing brand.

They're going to give me 10% off or a little,

I like the ones that are a little treat,

like free cheeseburg or something.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Free fries.

I guess you could do one every day.

And then your admin for the next year ahead would be done.

Yeah, exactly.

All you got to do is have the email.

You got to keep track of the email arriving,

because they always arrive like before your birthday,

around the birthday.

Could you, I can even think of 365 things

I'd want to sign up for.

No, neither.

I'm just like, I'm just like,

I'm punishing with emails every day,

even when it's not your birthday.

You'd have to have, I do a birthday email address.

So that was just the admin for that.

Haley's birthday at Gmail.com.

Yeah, Haley's birthday.

Not suspicious at all.

No, not at all.

And then you'd just have to check that once a day

and be like, right, allocate them,

maybe have a folder.

You could drag the vouchers into,

it'll be worth it.

Freebies.

I love freebies.

I'm just trying to see if any of mine is still valid.

Birthday.

And like you say, usually it's like $5 off or something.

Yeah, but it's within the month of your birthday.

Happy birthday to you.

What are they giving you?

$9 off.

What a weird amount of off.

$5 or $10.

Yeah.

$9.

That's such an odd amount.

Yeah.

It makes me uneasy.

I don't want to.

I want to know where that other dollar's gone.

Well, that's valid for seven days.

That's gone.

Let's delete that.

That was our birthday bear from your birthday.

Maybe I'll sign up to Magic Fingers.

Everyday's your birthday at Magic Fingers.

Tell you what.

Feels like it.

A few of my favorite things at the weekend.

Did some water blasting.

Bloody love water blasting.

Spent a lot of hours water blasting.

Did you leave lots of lines though?

You know when people water blasting?

Excuse me.

Surf.

I know the lines.

They're like people leave lines in their driveway on their path.

Yeah.

You've done a professional job here.

You've got to feather the ends.

That's got big electric water blaster energy.

That does it.

Those lines.

I'm a petrol-powered bad boy.

Oh, okay.

32.

3200 psi there.

Wow.

Your kids will have no planet left.

What?

They'll have a clean planet left.

Not a drop of moss or mold on it.

Get clean up those tiles.

And then I did an unsupervised trip to Mitre 10.

Shouldn't have.

Dangerous.

I was in a silly mood.

Okay.

And I came home with something I've wanted for a little while.

A flamethrower.

What?

When I saw this on your story, I was like, what have you bought that for?

How much was it?

I wasn't cheap, but it's New Zealand made and I'm all about supporting local industry.

It's made in New Plymouth.

It's made in New Plymouth.

Practically charity.

You know, yeah.

I like to do a bit of charity for that in New Zealand.

Of course it's made in New Plymouth.

Didn't they have the, what were they?

Google searches?

Bombs and...

Gay sex?

Yeah.

Gay sex and how do they come out?

And that was a long time ago.

Maybe things have changed.

I would like to see what they've been doing.

The latest things New Plymouth have been Googling.

Yeah, what's New Plymouth been Googling?

But so here's why.

And I did a little bit of girl math on the spot.

You would have been proud of me.

Oh, that's good.

I was doing the math.

I'm back on board now.

Because I'm using it primarily for weed eating, for weeding.

Get rid of weeds.

Why don't you spray?

Because I spray.

Huh?

Why don't you spray them?

Spray?

Not even spray is not great.

Right.

I saw on your Instagram story, you put the flame, it's, I mean, calling the flamethrower

is a little bit of an exaggeration.

You carry around a barbecue gas bottle, which I've got a 4kg one.

So that's good.

Because imagine hauling around a 9kg.

Yeah.

And it's like a can at the end of a stick?

No, no, no.

It's not a can.

That's the thing that protects you from the flame, points the flames in the right direction.

So you turn on the pilot flame.

You turn this little dial on.

Yeah.

And then you go click, click, click.

And it goes.

And then there's a flame there.

And then you give it a bit of gas on the old handle.

Right.

Like a pistol, like a trigger.

And it goes.

You're burning your weeds off.

Yeah.

So it destroys like the plant's ability to feed itself and then it dies.

Are the roots still there?

You're not burning the roots.

It kills down into the roots.

It dies.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, for those ones, I'll be giving them a little extra on for.

But it just seems like the weed that you were killing, you could have just literally pulled

it out of the ground.

But there's thousands around like those that I don't even know what that plant is.

This little greenie thing.

They're a pain in the ass.

We've got these wild lilies.

I'm a big weed guy.

Yeah.

I know a lot.

No, you've got the wrong weed.

People are like, yeah.

Wrong weed.

Not marijuana.

I'm talking like weeds.

I know I'm going to be like, oh, woolly nightshade.

I've got my top climbing asparagus.

I hate it.

I can give a whoop.

And now I can set to it with my flamethrower.

Can you come and flame ours?

Yeah, dude.

I just feel like I'll be nice.

Your driveway would be perfect.

Your driveway is just how it awaits.

The one in your stone's can't catch.

I don't know about round.

I understand on a large scale things sometimes that's the easiest way to do it.

But just around I'm like, well, I can do this and it's no harm, no foul.

And there's no like the dogs are always, when I'm spraying the dogs are always following

me around.

We've got two very dumb dogs.

They're like, but if they do that to us, it seems a burnt plant.

Seems a bit overkill.

So then I had some sticks, so I let them on fire and then I set a little outside fire

and put some sticks.

And then I can use it to blight my charcoal barbecue.

Just stand there until that's going there, turn it off and I'm away laughing with the

barbecue.

Wow.

And just stand.

Just get a lighter?

And go.

Flamethrower stuff.

How much should this cost?

We don't need to worry too much about how much it costs because.

How'd you grill method?

Well, it's got three jobs.

Yeah.

Weeds.

Lighting the barbecue and starting like burning fires for sticks and stuff.

See, there's a lot of trees.

A lot of sticks full of the trees and you've got a bit of a pile of sticks.

You're going to start a bloody scrub fire.

That's what everybody would reply to me.

My dad got one.

This was always the line.

My dad got one of those and then dot, dot, dot.

He burned a hole in the fence.

He burnt down his garden shed.

He blew himself up.

No one's blowing themselves up yet.

Is it the hot devil flame torch?

No.

That sounds pretty good.

Is that smaller than yours?

That's a baby's.

That's entrance.

That's something you'd make a creme brulee with.

Yeah, that's a bloat.

I could make creme brulee with mine.

Smaller.

I could totally do a big creme brulee with this.

You would evaporate a creme brulee with that flame.

Sorry, you've purchased.

I'm trying to find it.

I want to see this thing again to reiterate.

I didn't look at your stories over the weekend.

I know.

Is that what hurts the most?

Haley did not notice your stories over the weekend.

Did you notice my story went for a hike at the weekend?

Yeah, I saw that.

And then I made a mental note to myself, never to go on a hike with you because you made

a friend vomit.

I want a flamethrower.

Yeah, dude.

The flamethrower rules.

I'll bring it around.

Aaron will be in today.

Aaron will be in today.

I lost him.

Woodworking.

You know that Japanese, when the Japanese woodworking, when you burn the wood, it kind of like treats

it and stuff.

They also do that for hats.

You could become a hatmaker.

Wall hats.

You do a burn on them and get all the crap off.

You've got to get them off your head quickly, though.

Otherwise they melt your head.

Oh, don't do it with the hats on your head.

I don't know much about hatmaking, but this much I do know.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

I'm sorry, Vaughan.

Look at Fletch right now.

Yeah, I know.

Oops.

I turned my microphone off.

I've got the morning light bouncing off the spark building into my eyes.

Take a photo.

I'm going to take a quick, quick little photo and I'll add it to the socials.

Go more, go more.

Go more front on because you're casting a shadow of yourself.

No, sort of look over.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now stop frowning and now just being just casual cool.

There you go.

Ready?

Three, two.

Now take your pants off.

If you take your pants off.

Take your shirt off.

I can't pay you today, but I can pass this photo and series of videos on to the producers.

Onto an agent?

Yeah, yeah.

And they will pay you up to $5,000.

Okay, fair test.

Now why you got your shirt off?

Hit my socials.

You put your pants back on now.

Thank you.

Honestly.

I might make that my desktop background.

18 minutes away from 8.

It doesn't do.

God, he's gorgeous.

Now a mum has shared that when she does the school pick up, she has to basically scale

the walls and do like, not scale the walls, but like, you know, like shuffle along the

walls like crab walking.

She's got a whole new pants.

No, she's got rude tattoos on her legs.

What are they rude?

She's 27 years old.

Yeah.

And she's got some swear words.

Well, like on the back of her thigh or leg or something.

One on the back of each calf, one of them says, please.

And the other one says, you ain't shit.

Oh my God.

She's got a lot of tattoos.

Right.

Like they blend it in with other things, but she's like, oh my God, I'm at the school

pick up with young kids and they'll be able to read them and be like, ha ha, swear words.

So she does.

She like literally just sort of like walks side by side.

Could she do a plaster on each leg, but then that's expensive.

You know, every day, you're picking up the kids, you're remembering a plaster.

Just wear pants.

A big plaster too.

One of those ones, you cut your own length.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

I hate those.

Yeah.

Those are always outchees to pull off.

Yeah.

Those are always outchees.

The fabric ones, I know.

Got a grip.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then, you know, the plastic ones come off too easy.

What do we want?

We're hard to please, aren't we?

Gosh, when it comes to plasters, we're hard to please.

Um, a lot of people were jumping on, sharing it as well.

Um, that they've got old tattoos that they have to hide now that they're proper adults.

Well, some people still hide tattoos from their parents.

Yeah, my friend, my friend.

I've got a friend who has one on his torso.

Yeah.

Parents have never seen it.

And I was like, why?

And he was like, I just can't.

And I was like, what do you do at like summer if you're like hanging out and go to the beach

together or something?

He's like, I'll wear a rash shirt.

Oh yeah.

Well, that's important to even just, you know, without a tattoo, wearing a rash t-shirt.

It's great to keep the sun off.

Yeah, but not great for the, um, for the sexiness.

No offence.

I mean, the sun's smart and all that whole neozone layer, but you look silly.

Anyway, rash shirt, mullet, flat hat, uh, you know, kept the sun off the neck.

Yeah.

Some zinc.

Love a flat hat.

And some reef shoes.

I mean, you took a sexy, sexy, sexy media.

I might, I might need a moment.

I'm around.

Man.

Yeah.

I am officially after.

Nothing says.

Aggressively patterned board shorts.

Down below the knee.

Yeah.

Like just under the kneecap.

Yeah.

There is nothing sexier than reef shoes.

I know.

Cause my parents live near a river and would always go river swimming and they've got

reef shoes because there's the boulders are too much.

Yeah.

And every time I wear them, I'm always like, I hate myself.

You're in togs looking like a little.

And then you walk.

Dumplings.

Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet.

Other people are sharing this.

They've got, um, someone has a Mickey mouse.

Yeah.

Flipping the bird.

And when they went to Disneyland, like all kids could see it and stuff.

And they're like, oh, dammit, this is bad.

It's weird that someone would get that tattoo.

And that would be the same person that years later be like, oh, I don't want kids seeing

this at Disneyland.

I know.

You're going to get that tattoo.

You don't really care what kids think at Disneyland.

You just be doing your own thing.

Yeah.

Or you'd get it somewhere under a t-shirt or where it wouldn't normally be seen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just speaking of tattoos, just I thought, God, Billy Eilish got a massive back piece

and it's horrendous.

Anyway, I want to know if you've got a tattoo that you still have to cover up or hide.

Maybe all the time or maybe just some of the time.

Maybe because of your parents or because it's offensive.

Maybe when you're picking up your kids, you know, that tattoo of FBs and get money isn't

so good, you know.

Yeah.

And you've got to like cover that up now.

We're asking if you have a tattoo you cover up for some reason, because there's a mum

who has swear words on the backs of her legs.

And so she sort of crab walks along the walls so that people don't see it.

It's a good idea, maybe, in your early 20s.

Yeah.

But as you get older, maybe you're like, well, that was a silly mistake.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or you have to hide from the parents.

Taylor, what is the tattoo that you're hiding?

I have two on the back of my legs as well, and they are marijuana leaf.

You naughty, naughty.

How old were you when you got those?

I would have been, oh, gosh, I'm 26 now, and it was only a few years ago, to be honest.

Hey, live, love, laugh, you know.

Yeah.

And like, some know, like, you know, I was four years old, child, and I feel like I, you

know, when I go pick them up in there, I feel like, you know, oh, I've got to wear tights

because I don't know, they might see me go, oh, this, this girl, I don't know.

This girl.

This story could literally be your story.

Exactly the same.

I mean, maybe why don't you just put some tomatoes on it near them and then say the

tomato plush.

She's a big gardener.

Yeah, loves a gardener.

You take lots of gardener.

I just say they're maple leaf, right?

Yes.

Just put the Canadian flag.

Yeah.

Just a little touch up.

Brown them up a bit.

Yeah, brown them up.

Yeah, beautiful.

Out of interest, how old were you when you got the marijuana?

22.

Was that?

22.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roughly I'm 26 now.

Wow.

And it's changed.

Your opinions changed that much.

No, opinion hasn't.

She just doesn't want people to see them.

She's just the audience.

So, yeah, like, and it's like, oh, okay, if I take my four year old child to the swimming

pool, you know, can't really cover them up.

And then I don't know, you just kind of feel judgy, but I love them.

Yeah.

Just work it.

Your body, your choice.

Exactly.

And then just take your, Taylor, thanks for your call.

Some messages in.

What?

I'm just going to need to work on how to tell that one over the next song that plays.

I'm not even sure how that would, I would like to see a photo of the person with the

Virgin Mary as or something else.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, we've got Michaela on the phone.

She can explain it next.

No, she can explain it next.

I've seen, I've seen a version of these, Michaela.

You might have seen mine.

I'll take you guys on Instagram.

No, I thought it was really funny.

Well, let's find out next.

What it is?

Wait, let's find out next one.

I guess give the people a tease.

Oh my God, Michaela.

Stay with us.

Stay with us.

Stay with us.

Which one about tattoos that need to be covered up for certain occasions that are inappropriate.

Yeah.

And we had lovely Michaela who has a tattoo that needed some description.

Yeah.

Is it an oyster?

Is it a papaya?

What could it be?

So, I just thought it was really funny to get the Virgin Mary as a vulva.

Now, funny on a t-shirt, funny on a t-shirt, funny on a postcard to send her a prudish power.

Hey, the vulva we celebrate.

Oh, yeah, we do.

But wait, it's not a tattoo around the vulva that incorporates.

It's somewhere else on the body.

No, that probably would have been a better idea.

Not on the side of my leg where everyone can see on the outside.

You sort of get it because I had a little Google of the Virgin Mary as a vulva.

And it's because she's got the sort of...

Yeah.

The clothes.

It's flappy.

Yeah, she is flappy.

You're right there.

The robes are flappy.

Yes.

And she's got her little robe over her head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you like it for a deeper, more poetic reason or you just, as you said before, just thought it was funny?

No, it was funny for about four days.

And then you realize it's forever.

And then I'm sort of trying to incorporate it.

I'm going to turn it into flowers or some sort of...

Oh, wait, you're going to do that?

You're going to cover it up and try and make it a little bit?

Yeah.

I have a professional job now, so I work for the government.

Midwife.

I work for the government.

Well, we do keep church and state separated, don't we?

Yeah, we do.

So they shouldn't be allowed to judge you for that.

Oh, I love that.

How old were you when you got it and how old are you now?

I'm almost 40 and I think I was about 33.

Oh, okay, so still within the last three days.

Wow, okay.

The same age as Jesus was when he departed.

God bless.

She knows.

She knows.

You can't fodder on your biblical knowledge.

I love that, Michaela.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Ask some text messages and the tattoos that you're hiding.

I have my husband's name on my bum cheek and I probably cover it up because it'd be inappropriate

to walk with it out because people are like, I've had it before.

People saying who's...

Yeah.

Who's Kevin?

Yeah.

Who's Kevin?

I don't have any tattoos on my butt, but I would like one.

You do have tattoos, though, eh?

Yeah.

But they're all covered because I had lofty dreams of being a famous actress, slipping

away at a rapid rate.

But I didn't want to put any on my arms and legs.

Right.

They can cover those up.

They're on the torso.

But then you've got to be so good that they've also got to be like, okay, so she's an actress,

but you've got to bother to cover them up.

I've got to say, I'm not that good.

Somebody has their penises tattooed.

Yes.

Out.

Out.

And hide and always have to cover it up, going for showers at the gym, et cetera.

LOL do not call.

That's what their text said.

Question.

Do you have to...

Yes.

Because I know someone that had a tattooed willy and you do, yes.

You have to be in a state of excitement.

You have to keep it flushed.

What?

Or tight.

Tweet.

Tweet.

Keep it tight.

Not hard.

Yes.

You've got to get it.

You've got to get it.

It's like if you ride on an inflated balloon and then let all the air out, it goes through

a little, doesn't it?

Yeah.

The writing goes a little weird.

It goes a little shriveled.

Shriveled in.

Shriveled in stuff.

Yeah, but it'd be funny though.

I'd be like, what the hell is that?

And then...

Wait and see.

Oh, okay.

Just you wait and see.

Out.

My husband has...

How do you keep it at full...

You've got a lot of questions.

Attention for that amount of time.

Yeah.

Tattoos do take some time.

And his pubis, the top, was tattooed.

And she said it was so painful.

It was the most painful experience.

What does the tattoo say above the pubis?

It's like a heart.

It's like a design.

It doesn't say anything.

Because the next stage, there were people all getting just above the pubis getting the

little lawnmower.

Yes.

Yes.

Keeping and lasering off some of your pews.

Yeah, exactly.

My husband has two road signs on his butt cheeks.

One says dirt road and the other says no entry.

It's very embarrassing for him.

Now 10 years later in the change rooms at the pool because he doesn't know where to face,

where to face getting changed.

Front exposed or questions from little kids about his bum, which used to family change

room now if they're available.

Yeah.

I've got Bite Me written on my ass.

It's slightly too low to be covered by a bikini bottom.

Forgot about that when I was lining up for the slides at Hamner Springs and the kids were

laughing behind me.

So now I either have to have the ass cracks showing or Bite Me.

I don't know which one's worse.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So many people have butt tattoos.

Like 50% of these messages are about the butts.

The most coverable area, really.

Yeah.

Oh, what a shame, buddy.

Sarah Forever.

Gosh.

Oh, yeah.

Someone got Sarah Forever tattooed on their neck like Sarah and then the number four and

then ever like all in a row, no gaps and nothing.

Yeah.

No capitals.

And when did that end?

Yeah.

Oh.

Sarah for now, actually.

Yeah.

It's just Sarah just for now.

Play Zed and Flex for the Nailie.

Play Zed and.

This weekend I was in Nelson before we had the Nelson Arts Festival, which is on at the

moment.

It was an amazing time.

It was such a great show.

The Theatre Royal in Nelson, built in 1978, same year as my house.

Loved it.

Yeah.

Beautiful theatre.

Afterwards, I went out with some friends.

I had some friends who were down there and I'm one of my old friends who is actually running

the festival.

We went to this band, had a great night, went out and again, two o'clock in the morning

I got back to the hotel.

Two o'clock in the morning.

You know what it's like.

Now you feel the post show adrenaline buzz.

It's hard to shake.

Anyway, so the next morning I woke up with 15 minutes, I reckon, before I needed to check

out.

Okay.

It's been a while since I've had one of those checkouts or like you wake up and you're like,

oh, flight leaves in an hour.

Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah, flight wise I was okay.

But I had to check out was 10 and it was 9.45.

And to tell you that I had torn apart my clothes when I got back in and everything was everywhere.

It was terrible.

And so I quickly, one, I was like, well, I can't go to the airport without having a shower

because this would be my last opportunity for a couple of days.

So I had a shower.

Yeah.

And then it was quickly like dumping things into my bag.

And then my hair was dripping wet.

And I was like, oh, I've got time.

It was 10 o'clock on the door.

And I was like, but what are they going to do?

Yeah.

And I was like, I'll quickly get my hair just a little pre dry to get it going.

And so I was in like skin colored undies, high waist undies, skin colored bra, rough,

head upside down, like towards like this.

My head upside down in the hair dryer with my AS pointed towards the door.

And then it was like the cleaner went knock, knock, knock open.

Oh yeah.

The knock on the door.

That's not how.

Yeah.

I mean, I know it's 10 o'clock and technically I'm not supposed to be here anymore.

Yeah.

You should be out of the room by now.

I would be interested to know having never worked at a hotel if the people on reception

are letting the cleaners know who's checked out.

Because sometimes you see them, they've got a lot of walkie talkies and they're like,

yeah, six, four, two is clear over.

Move in, move in.

Well, they clearly didn't have that chat because she just did a knock as if it was just habit.

Not actually checking if anyone was there.

I don't know how she didn't hear the hair dryer.

Yeah.

I don't know how.

I don't honestly.

And then all she would have seen is like a fleshy ass pointed her way.

It probably looked like it wasn't wearing undies, but I was.

I swear they were just flesh colored undies.

And I was like, huh.

And she goes, ah, and she like screamed.

Oh, no.

She screamed.

She screamed at the side of my face.

And she's a cleaner.

So she's seen some things.

I know.

She's used to dealing with a real mess.

Oh my God.

It was terrible.

And then so I had to like abandon the hair, quickly chuck clothes on, put shoes on, realize

I'd cut my bloody laces the night before because I couldn't get the knot.

Chuck Taylor laces.

You were that drunk.

No, no, no, no.

Just the Chuck Taylor laces.

Aaron thinks I tie them funny.

Right.

Because I can't ever get them undone.

They just get tighter and tighter and tighter.

You know that fabric of a Chuck Taylor lace?

Yeah.

So I had to slice those off.

So then I'm retying these shoe laces.

And then I was so embarrassed to like, oh, you know, do that little thing like peep through

the door and make sure the cleaner wasn't just like standing in their way and slip away.

So sorry to that cleaner.

Gosh, you're really.

Who let out quite an audible screen.

Yeah.

Like that.

Not, not like, oh, sorry.

Just.

Are you going to knock?

She did knock.

As the door opens.

No, but you should have been out of the room.

Yeah, to be fair, like I, by the time I got to the checkout, it was 10, 15.

But how did that?

No, that's did not.

It took.

It was tight man.

But she was at the door at 10.

Hundreds of rooms.

Are we talking 20 rooms?

Split the diff.

Okay.

Yeah.

She was because that is somewhere else.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, she could have.

Someone that was confirmed.

For her own sake.

I mean, what would you, what do you, wouldn't it be too much for your ID even figure out

what's happening?

Because I was, I was so tired.

I wasn't just like blow drying standing up upside down.

In a real magic eye puzzle for that Paul Kleiner.

Yeah.

Well, she was looking right in my magic eye.

It's one shot.

In me is Britney Spears impending book.

The due date is today, but American time.

So imagine we'll get tomorrow.

I haven't pre-ordered or anything.

Sort of hoping I'll just be able to walk in somewhere and grab it, but it's going to

be like.

Hot.

Have you been excited for a book release?

I've never seen you excited for a book release.

Ken Fullott.

Oh yeah.

Ken Fullott's fifth part of the Kingsford series.

It's her.

Yeah.

You and I don't get excited for books.

But no, not like this.

Yeah.

Not like this.

Not in a way where I'm just like, I want it.

Cause she's fascinating.

And I love Britney, but she is a fascinating watch.

And I feel bad.

I don't follow her on Instagram or anything.

I just felt bad that it was just.

Cause it is very voyeuristic.

It's like we were like watching a bit of a train wreck happen.

Yeah.

Exactly.

You feel sorry for her or people are laughing at her or not.

But I feel like this book might take some of that away.

It's been so long since she's done any kind of sit down interviews.

And this is what we've all wanted to know.

The social media is so bizarre.

Oh yeah.

That you don't actually get to learn anything of where she's at.

I mean, she went through a divorce and then it was just like dancing around in circles.

And you're like, Connor, you okay?

She had knives last week.

Yeah, she had knives and stuff.

She said that those weren't real.

Yeah.

It's fine by Shakira.

Yeah.

Anyway, so there's little excerpts that have come out, little reviews and stuff.

And I've got some of the takeaways you would have heard before.

One that she had an abortion with Justin Timberlake.

He was her first kiss.

Also that he dumped her.

She was on a set filming a music video.

And then she just disappeared off the set for like hours.

They couldn't find her.

And then someone found her and she was like on the floor crying and the text and it was just,

it's over.

That's all.

It's over.

Just, something tells me Justin's not going to come out very well on this book.

No.

Honestly.

Wasn't his, weren't his people, one of the reasons they got delayed the first time around.

There was a few people involved in the, that were mentioned in the book.

All right.

Yeah.

That I guess if you're going to make those accusations against people,

you've got to get their comment on it or rather than put the book out there.

And then of course you're going to get the lawsuit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's like, I'm all right.

Yeah.

She said that the conservatorship, I can't, that's what I want to know about.

I know.

That thing was bizarre.

Did I read over the weekend a nurse told her about the Free Brittany movement?

Yeah.

Like that's how she found out about it.

She was like, what the hell?

Yeah.

Do you even know?

She said it made her feel like a child robot that it, because it started from like years

and she's always been like childlike.

So those child stars that they always, they never quite reached their adulthood.

Yeah.

They just sort of get thrown into it.

Michael Jackson.

Pretty well balanced.

So you know, he was sound, pretty sound, pretty sound of mine.

She talked about why she shaved her head in 2007.

She said it was her way of pushing back and taking what little control over her life that

she could.

That she'd been watched and like eyeballed and photographed and, you know, people making

money off of her when she didn't want to be doing it.

So she's like, I'll just make myself ugly basically.

Yeah.

And that's, I'm in charge of that and I can do this.

So she did that.

And then there was another thing she mentioned that, you know, because if you follow on Instagram,

she's like always half nude or like doing these weird sexy things.

And people are like, she's crazy, but she's like, no, I'm fully understand.

She's like, people don't know why I love taking pictures of myself naked or in new dresses.

But if you'd been photographed by other people thousands of times without your consent, prod

and imposed for other people's approval, you'd understand why I want to claim back my own

body and show it off on my own terms and be like, this is actually my body.

And I'm showing, I'm choosing to show it to you, not being forced to.

It's going to be a good read.

It's going to be a good read.

Yeah.

A lot about Justin.

She also explains why she stopped acting after Crossroads.

Did she have a say in that is all I'm asking.

So she said, she revealed that she was almost cast in the iconic film, The Notebook.

She said it came down to her and Rachel McAdams.

She said, even though it would have been fun to reconnect with Ryan Gosling after a time on the Mickey Mouse Club

and glad I didn't do it.

I am.

She also talks about her alcohol with her relationship with drugs and alcohol.

Saying that it was like normal for a while, but then she would like get into drinking quite heavily.

Yeah.

Because there were those sort of days of her when she'd hang out like Paris and then go to the clubs and then flesh her.

Who are in the back of a can.

Anyway, I'm honest.

I don't know why I'm so fascinated.

She's just fascinating.

I demand an Oprah.

Oh yeah.

I demand an Oprah.

I reckon if the book sells well enough, she won't do an Oprah.

But if it's not moving as much as they wanted, they'll do an Oprah.

It'll move.

That's my prediction.

It'll move.

She's an alien to us.

Anyway, out tomorrow-ish, I guess.

Welcome to lingerie week, ladies and gentlemen.

This is an attempt to sexy it up after last week's stamp week.

Let's see if we hear from international lingerie lovers.

We may do.

With facts.

Like we did last week from the stamp collectors and the stamp lovers.

Well, I actually mentioned this word on Friday when I laughed and said we could do lingerie week about the monobism.

And today's fact of the day is indeed about the monobism.

Monobism?

Monobism.

Start of the 1900s, the monobism girdle was the lingerie of the moment.

What is the lingerie of the moment now?

Comfort.

I reckon we've gone the other way.

So it's less about looks and sexiness.

It's more just comfort.

Smooth, soft comfort.

Right.

Thick strap.

Thick back.

This isn't just you pushing the nana agenda on us.

Does it get more nana-y than this?

That's comfort.

Oh my God.

That's trash.

That looks like a comfortable strap.

Steamed the rumor.

Even that clap of it against you sounded comfortable.

Hang on.

Oh.

Thicky.

Oh.

She's a thickie.

It's a thick strap.

It sounds comfortable.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Well, it ended around World War I, but the monobism girdle was basically pushed the

boobs together.

Girdles.

That was...

He was with Hitler, wasn't he?

Yeah.

He was a really bad German.

You're thinking of Goebbels.

Goebbels.

That's the one.

Yeah.

And not to be confused with Paris.

Goebbels.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

So the girdle pushed the breasts in and up, but the dresses worn over the top were loose

fitting.

So it appeared as if there was one sort of central almost cycloptic breast.

Like a pigeon, eh?

So it was called the pigeon breast because I, and this is something else I learned, pigeons

have a very prominent chest bone.

Yeah, right.

You know when you get a chicken?

You know when you get a bachelor's handbag?

Just take your bachelor's handbag and you get the chicken and you can see the two breasts,

but the bone in the middle sinks in and then when you get down into it, it's just that

gristly pull it down here and there's the wishbone at the top and there's a joint there.

So a pigeon...

I'm having a roast chicken tonight actually.

This is great anatomy for me when I break it up.

You can think about that if you were eating a pigeon, apparently, I've never seen it.

I wouldn't eat a pigeon.

I wouldn't eat a pigeon.

I would eat a pigeon.

I'm doing all right for myself.

I'm not.

I don't need a pigeon.

Well, why do you think the keridu is in such short supply?

See, I never said I wouldn't eat a keridu.

It's on you.

I think one of those, they look delicious.

It's of the pigeon family.

Honey soy.

Honey soy.

I do a honey soy keridu.

Oh yeah, right.

I do a buttered keridu.

Buttered chicken keridu.

Buttered chicken keridu.

Buttered chicken, yeah.

The chicken sauce would be nice.

I think you'd probably have to go with a more traditional flavor, wouldn't you go kawa-kawa

in a kumara?

Oh yeah, you could.

Kawa-kawa kumara stuffing in it.

Yeah.

Keridu.

A lemon herb.

Yeah.

Sweet sour.

Maybe just subtle.

I think that would take away from the flavor of the keridu itself.

I'd batter it.

I'd deep fry it.

Like to put a crumb, like a panko.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Keridu schnitz.

A keridu parmesan.

Yeah, right.

Oh yeah, now we're talking.

Yeah, good stuff.

Let's stop talking about eating deliciously at the point.

I'm hungry.

I'll eat it.

So the bone, apparently, of the pigeon is more prominent, which means it's rounded

to a point.

Right, yeah.

When the girdle was pulling you up and in, and it would arch you back, you almost had

a pigeon chest.

And it was called, it was, yeah, the monobism girdle or the pigeon breast.

Yeah, looking at like the silhouette of those times, the, the, you are arched it back.

Yeah.

And forward in the breast.

Yeah.

This is a quote, bosom's a beautiful, sexy and feminine.

Femin, feminine.

He's all flustered on lingerie week, isn't he?

Bosoms.

Beautiful.

There's actually no pictures in my fact of the day.

Paragraph today.

I didn't want to be distracted.

They conjured up some images.

Yeah.

He's got a powerful mind.

He's got a powerful mind.

A bosom's a beautiful, sexy and feminine.

Before a, at the start of the century, monobisms, the single breasts were a very popular look

and considered a prideful way to wear one's breast.

Right.

Woman dressed in such a way that they appear to have one large breast, almost in a pigeon-like

fashion.

Wow.

Yeah.

Paragraph today and the first fact for lingerie week.

I'm excited for the 60 week.

The start of the 1900s, the monobism was the look of the time.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah.

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,

doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.

Play it.

She moved at the weekend.

And I'll commend her.

She's moved to West Auckland.

The best compass direction.

Yes.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

The best compass direction.

Caroline.

Hello.

Yes.

Hello.

Speaking.

You moved at the weekend.

I did.

It didn't go flawlessly.

No, not really.

What was the most stressful part?

Oh, trying to do like the jigsaw of putting all the puzzle pieces onto one trailer.

Oh, no, that's my thing.

Oh, no, that's the best bit.

That's the best bit.

It's getting it out at the other end that I hate.

Yeah.

It's just, it's just.

It's unpacking.

I hate the lifting.

It feels like you've done a lot and then you haven't even unpacked.

Yeah.

And then you sit in the new flat for a good couple of months thinking, I'm really going to move

in here soon.

That thing's storage box has got to go.

Yes.

I'm going to unpack that or donate it.

No, well, I was very lucky because Georgia from the day show and her partner, fiance,

sorry, helped me move.

Oh, how'd you get roped into that, Georgia?

Georgia, can you please join us in here?

I think Georgia's got a tow bar.

Oh, she's got a tow bar.

I've got a tow bar.

I don't have a tow bar.

Don't worry about shoes, mate.

It's not a professional working environment.

Oh my God.

She's got many likes.

I'm sorry.

Got to let the dogs out.

Yeah.

I'll have you know it's my car.

Your car's got a tow bar.

Yeah.

Well, because it's Hame's old one.

So yeah, there you go.

I love a tow bar.

I've been roped into this because my old car had a tow bar and everyone who ever needs

a tow bar is like, are you going to tow bar?

I'll just have a tow bar.

That's why when I had a tow bar, I cut it off.

Yeah, you did.

So friends would stop asking.

I'll shut off.

Rather than unscrewing it, he just cut it off.

He cut it off.

He took them out.

Yeah, he just cut them out.

It was a hacksaw.

Yeah, long time.

It took all day.

On that hard and steel.

It did.

So you offered to help the move?

I did.

Well, I offered and then Kaun kept saying, no, you don't have to.

You don't have to.

And I was like, no, you know, I'm going to use that BDE energy, you know.

Yeah.

I've got a tow bar, so BDE energy.

Yeah.

Big.

Ball.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you were a very stressful person to apparently work with.

Yeah.

What?

That's sorry.

Kaun came in and was like, oh my God, I wish I had taken up right.

Yeah.

I did not say that.

Well, you did have one complaint though, didn't you?

Yeah.

I had a couch that, to get it out the door, you need to take the legs off.

And I've moved twice now, so I knew that.

But someone was insistent that we didn't need to take the legs off.

I thought you could do a little shuffle.

Yeah.

Side shuffle.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we gave it a go.

But in the process, something was broken.

Yeah.

Look.

Was it the leg that you said I should take off in Georgia's leg?

Yeah.

I know best I'm Georgia Burt.

What was it?

Pretty much.

Yeah, on my couch.

Oh.

I have to say, it's only because I didn't gym much last week.

So my arm muscles were like weak as, because I had to drop it.

But it doesn't happen that quickly.

This is BS.

Oh, you dropped it.

And broke it.

I did.

Well, because Ham was like, oh, okay.

Well, I guess we'll try.

Because you suggested, and obviously he wasn't going to be like, no.

And he's a simp.

Yeah.

He does what he's told.

He does.

So he's got to, you know?

Yeah.

Well, Georgia comes from old Christchurch money.

And they're quite, they'll have you dead.

Quite intimidating.

Yeah.

The old Christchurch money.

That's pretty faint now.

Oh.

Probably be a raw, sweaty dog's in here.

God.

So yeah, you've broken her couch.

Well, Ham's gone and fixed the league, though.

How do you fix it?

Is it fixed enough?

Is it home?

Are you happy?

I forgot it.

She didn't even bring it in.

She took it away.

So that's got a wobbly couch.

That's got a wobbly couch.

No.

But hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If we go back a second, I felt bad about the league.

Took a little percentage off the trailer we hired.

Told Cowan this morning.

Meanwhile, she's removing.

They're just shuffling around the house.

Broke another league.

I wasn't even there.

Oh my God.

No, no, no, no.

What is your couch made of?

Hang on a moment.

No, it's not the leg that broke.

It's like the little stump that attached us to the frame.

Yes.

Now, I told Georgia that we broke it, but I don't know who broke it.

Yeah, you broke it.

Oh, I see.

You could have broken two.

Well, hey, get rid of the couch.

Get rid of the couch.

How much did you knock off the trailer?

Must be nice.

She's like, oh, just get a new couch.

Cowan, just get a new couch.

Yeah, easy as.

Yeah, yeah.

Everyone has old crotchage money, Georgia.

Georgia dropped yours.

Someone's going to buy it.

They're just chucking a marketplace to get all sorts coming at you.

Oh my God.

No, absent.

Broken couch on a marketplace has crazies knocking.

Big energy.

Multiple times we've talked to semi-broken fridges out in our front lawn.

Gone within an hour.

I just didn't realize how trash she was.

She's literally putting out her trash as if it's a charitable gift.

I want to know if there's anybody listening that's been in this situation.

I'd love to take some calls on this.

So awkward.

When a friend breaks something of yours or you break something of your friends.

Yeah.

Because then there's this whole, do I have to pay for it?

I've told this story before, A, about my best friend's mum's engagement ring.

I don't think so.

So my best friend's mum's engagement ring.

Now the engagement didn't go ahead, but she had the rage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was nice.

And then Jess was holding it and showing me and I dropped it and it started rolling.

So to stop it, I put my phone on it.

I squashed it.

Like phone in half gets worse.

I was like, I'll take it to my friend whose dad is a jeweler.

Then I wrapped it up in a little thing.

Lost it.

How good was the ring if you could squash it?

I don't think it was extremely expensive.

Soft.

Soft.

Right.

I know.

Terrible.

And then not only did I say, get fixed.

So you were like, oh, I dropped ring.

Rolling ring.

I stop.

Oh, no.

I was like 12 years old or 13 years old or something.

I was like, I will fix.

It just works.

Oh, no.

I lost it.

It's over here.

Yeah.

Well, that was me as a 13 year old.

Maybe your friend passes you their phone to look at something and you drop their phone.

You just drop and smash it.

It's always all you borrow.

Like when people borrow.

Yeah.

Borrow clothes.

I would say the same best friend borrowed address of mine and then returned it with an absolute

perfect Ziggy Burn in it.

So.

Even.

Even.

Even.

Okay.

I would love to take some calls.

1,800 dials at MSL number.

You can text through 96696 and then your message.

Is someone as a friend broken something of yours or have you broken something of your

friends?

Yeah.

And maybe it led to a friendship breakup or just an argument over who.

Like George R.

Cowan who aren't friends anymore.

We're done.

Although to be fair, Georgia did not $5 off the trailer hire.

10.

I'll have you know.

10.

10 dollars.

10 dollars.

What kind of couch are you going to buy with 10 dollars there, Cowan?

Oh, go crazy.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.

Play ZM.

Well, Georgia broke producer Cowan's couch legs.

She just shaved 10 dollars off of the trailer fee for Cowan to replace the couch.

She's helping her move.

We want to know when a friend has broken something of yours or you've broken a friend's thing.

Yeah.

As some Instagram responses, Chris said I was the one breaking things that reversed my

friend's Mercedes into a digger bucket as a learner driver.

Oh my God.

Digger buckets.

Remarkably hard.

Actually you probably wouldn't guess looking at a digger that the bucket's quite hard.

Yeah.

My friend scratched the heck out of my new Green Day CD.

Oh.

And then proceeded to tell me it wasn't her.

I, girl math tired and bought a Gorman leather jacket.

Oh, is that spinning?

Yeah.

Lend it to a flatmate for a date and I came back with a rip in the arm and she said nothing

and neither did I.

No, you've got to say something.

You've got to say something.

You've got to pay to take it to a fixer.

I changed my friend's phone code and then forgot what I changed it to.

And after a while of trying to get into it, it didn't, it never worked.

It got locked and she lost everything on the phone.

Whoopsie-daisy.

Oh my God.

Oh, that's so hard.

Yeah.

I'd be pissed.

I'd be pissed.

You think it's funny, do you?

You think it's so funny.

Love it.

We want to know when you've broken something that belongs to a friend.

Mm-hmm.

My husband and I were visiting our friend's house.

This one just came in.

Yep.

And around their marble dining table.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Must be nice.

Crushed each old money.

Husband, who's quite a solid unit,

lends on the middle of the table to get up and the whole table snaps like a biscuit.

Oh my God.

We didn't know we should laugh or cry.

Offered to pay for it, but our friends wouldn't accept it.

Still friends, but we don't see them as much.

But also, this is what you've got insurance for.

Yeah.

A solid marble table shouldn't break a marble.

I don't think it was a solid marble table.

It sounds like they had a...

Veneer.

A veneer of marble.

A sticker.

And they were trying to come across a little fancier than they were,

and your husband exposed them to the fool that they were.

I think so, too.

Ah, Beren, when did you break something that belonged to a friend?

Well, it was actually me that received it.

Oh, okay.

A friend broke your stuff.

Well, so I had a Mercedes, which had a nice white cream interior.

Oh, God.

That was pretty nice.

And my friend was sitting in the back with a Fanta and cup holder.

You know, I didn't think people who owned Mercedes-Benz

had friends who drank Fanta.

Yes.

They don't usually go hand in hand.

No.

Well, we're on a long journey, and we just stopped at a Mackers.

Show sponsor.

Show sponsor.

Thank you for that.

Thank you.

And went to get back in the car and hit the Fanta

whilst getting into the car.

And it went everywhere across the back and stained all the feet.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

So that was lovely.

But we're still friends.

We just joke about it all the time.

How did you get it cleaned?

Yeah, I had to get it professionally cleaned.

But the stains are still there.

I think you should.

Korea's on wrong, but you get Fanta out with Mountain Jews.

Isn't that the situation?

Yeah.

No, I told her pouring.

More.

More.

And then one white wine, they bring each other out.

Do you know if I...

Because I've got one of those, what is my bench made

at Four Michael?

Like it's real 90s.

Yeah, I love it.

And when we have drinks, like of Aperol, I'll have rings

of Aperol on my bench.

It's weird how porous that is.

Yes.

But do you know what works best?

And I don't know if this would work for you, Bernd.

But you get exit mold.

That's bleach.

And it just bleaches it.

And it bleaches your seats.

No, I don't know if you should bleach your leather.

But it works on a bench.

Maybe you find a test patch.

No.

No, don't bleach your teeth.

In a pint you can't see, do a teeth.

Just do it in the little, in the little cupboard.

What do you call it?

Yeah, crevice.

Maddie McLean's bench is a very porous, open concrete.

And remember when we were making our Turkish delight,

things I had pink, I had pink food coloring.

I was like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, and it got on it.

And I was like, came out, but jeez, I was nervous.

Yeah, you were worried, don't you?

Leah, what happened?

You had a friend that broke something?

And not so much broke something, I guess,

but her son drew on my bonnet with a stone.

Oh, no!

Oh, that hurts so much.

Did your friend pay for the fixing?

Yeah, she did.

Then did I have him to go to a panel beater to get it done

because he had gone through right down to the bottom,

where you can't come back from.

I'll say it.

Little shit.

Yeah, little shit.

That's what I'm saying.

My kids just never did something like,

you see people are, I left my kid unsupervised,

and you come back and there's just like,

they did it all over the wall.

Yeah, no, we did it on a hard scratch door.

Yeah, that's it.

Sometimes I wonder if people draw on their own walls

for the social media content.

Oh, you turn me, yeah, absolutely.

Leah, thank you.

Matt, this is a mate that broke something of yours?

Yeah, actually, I'm sorry, a $500 marquee

that he borrowed for a party.

Shredded it in the wind because he got too drunk

to take it down that night.

But he was kind enough to snapchat me

while it was happening.

I got live coverage of my marquee and Shredded.

Now, Matt, I don't mean to play down your marquee,

but it sounds more like a gazebo for $500.

Is it a gazebo?

It was one of those big, large pull-ups

with big center poles.

And it was, but the point was he did it again

to another new marquee that I bought six months later.

Well, that's a full-me-one same on yours.

He's seen to pull, yeah.

Full-me twice he can get fooled again

in the words of George Bush.

Yeah, that's my marquee.

Next time, get a gazebo and you won't care so much.

I have, yeah, I've invested less money.

He also dropped a car back to me that he borrowed

missing a rear bumper and then told me

that's how he picked it up.

It sounds like a nightmare.

It's time to get rid of him.

Yeah, this sounds like a terrible friend, Matt.

That's a three-straight policy.

He's gone.

More messages in.

I'm on a photo shoot for work.

We were shooting a multimillion-dollar home.

The photographer forgot to lock off his camera

and the dolly and the whole thing,

it went whoop down to the end of the dolly

like a little railway track.

You imagine a choo-choo train and the camera on top.

It got to the end, it went tip and fell over

and the camera chipped the piece of one-off bespoke furniture.

Rookie mistake.

Glue it back on.

Never.

Glue it back on.

Yeah, just glue it back on.

Glue it back on so you can hear it.

Borrowed a friend's van for a road trip to Mangafai.

Not sure if it was a mechanical fault or my driving,

but it burned to a crisp at the top of Dome Valley.

West Park Water was relatively new.

Found out later, they hadn't had a chance to get it insured.

Oh, that's on there.

Idiots.

You get your car insured before you pick it up.

This is coming from me.

If your bare minimum of life admin

doesn't reach my very low bar.

Yeah.

You've got to re-evaluate.

But even I will insure a car before I pick it up.

From anywhere.

Quick call to the insurance company.

Yeah.

New policy.

Beep.

They're on the phone like that.

They don't want to talk to you when you're making a claim,

but boy, if you're getting new policy,

then we're straight away right away.

That we're on the phone as I'm making a claim

and be like, hold on just a minute

and hang up on them and be like,

New policy?

Yeah, sure.

But boy, boy, boy, if I got to deal with you,

boy, boy, boy.

Well, congratulations to you, podcast.

Listen, you've reached the end.

So I would assume if you've listened all this way through,

you'll either asleep, in which case, wake up,

or you enjoyed it.

So drop us a review and tell your friends.

That's how podcasts work.

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