ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 20th October 2023

NZME 10/19/23 - Episode Page - 1h 18m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Fletch Vaughn and Hayley, Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

It's two minutes past six.

That delivery couldn't have come at a better time, could it?

We just received some beautiful sunglasses, courtesy of Karen Walker,

and honestly, they're all on.

Everybody had sunglasses on.

A bit dusty today.

Honestly, last night's show was so much fun.

Thank you so much to everyone who came to Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Live.

It was wild.

I know, and then the adrenaline was so high afterwards.

We just had to have a few drinks.

We had to.

One drink turned into a few.

Yeah, dad.

Yeah.

Awesome audience.

And then when we were leaving, Hayley said we could leave

or we could have one more.

And I was like, why are you spearheading one more?

Classic Hayley.

We've got, no.

The earliest start.

Stop it.

That was your wife.

Oh, yeah.

Your wife is really great.

I think it was a good night.

No, she was easily led.

No.

She was a horse led to what a parched horse.

Vaughn was ordering one Uber for four,

and I was ordering an Uber for two.

Me and Vaughn had our phones out hovering.

Yeah.

But both of us were hesitating.

And then Shade said, are we leaving?

And I said, well, technically, yes.

Or, and then she said, we could have one more.

So we, you know, the horse was led to also.

But you said, did you say, or?

And you would never let her open.

You never let that woman open.

That is nothing that's asking for trouble.

Wow.

Awesome audience.

Thank you.

It was.

And last night you performed a Hayley's version.

That is going to be on the show this morning at 10 to 8.

What's up?

That was bold of you to make that.

I feel like we maybe maybe need to change a line or two

for the radio show as opposed to the live show.

Just a little twink.

But yeah, Hayley's version, 10 to 8 this morning.

And then at 8, we're kicking it off.

The long weekend group two has been so long

since the last long weekend group two.

Join us in traffic from 8.

Who's Friday Flashback?

It'll be yours.

Yours.

Mine last week.

I know.

Come on, Will Barrow, don't let us down.

I once opened my notes app and put some suggestions in there.

Well, got to be a banger next on the show.

There is a Guinness World Record for the loudest cat purr.

And it's official.

Cute.

Find out how loud this is next.

Today would be a great day for the show sponsor

to deliver nuggies.

I've actually, I've in that bag there,

I've got nuggets and butter chicken.

God, you're good to us.

I love this man.

He's so good.

I love you, man.

I wrote myself a note when I got home.

Don't forget about the chicken and the chicken nuggets.

We had some of our promoter, our sponsors at the show last night

and we were chatting to them.

And I pitched the idea for a more curry butter chicken sauce.

They don't know if they seem to be coming.

Nuggies, obviously they didn't seem fizzed.

They didn't seem fizzed.

They're like, oh, yeah, we'll look into it.

There is a Guinness record for the loudest cat purr.

Go on.

Cute.

It's a big fat cat.

Medium tabby, just a medium tabby.

A little.

Just a moggy, your stock standard moggy.

Plus a bad cat.

But it's all official.

The Guinness World Record people went over

with one of those decibel readers.

How far away from the cat do they hold it?

So there's a big video that goes with this story

and they are about, I'd say, a metre and a half away from the cat.

So this is a metre and a half away from the cat.

This is an official attempt for the loudest purr by a domestic cat.

By a domestic cat.

Cole, Bella, are you ready?

Yes, we are.

Yes.

That's a metre annoying.

That's a metre and a half away.

It could be so annoying.

That sound has big dribble energy.

That's why I'm imagining a big fat, sloppy cat.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

When Rolly Pears, it's joyful, right?

You're like, oh, that's nice.

He's happy.

But it's just a low hum in the room.

Not that.

That'll be, it's like a snoring partner.

Drip, drip, drip, drip.

What silent people have like a French bulldog

or one of those dogs.

Oh my God.

And they're like.

That's the dog slowly dying from oxygen deprivation.

Looks like a cat's slipping.

Yeah, struggling to survive.

Yeah.

God, what a record, eh?

What a thing to behold.

Yeah, all day.

Do you want to know my claim to fame?

My cat is the world's loudest pig.

It's 11 past six next on the show.

I don't know.

I don't hate to reiterate the fashion is indeed my passion.

And if you did see Fletcher on the live show last night

and you were like, God, he's looking good.

We went shopping.

I chose that t-shirt.

Shopping.

We went shopping.

Yeah, we did indeed.

We actually made a fashion friend.

Yeah, we had a fashion friend.

A retail assistant kept coming up to us and be like,

can I help?

And I was like, Han, get out of here.

Fashion is my passion.

But next, a move in fashion that is honestly upsetting

and bad for us.

Play Zerian's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Just announcing to my boys, I'm rocking a Birk,

first day of the year,

so that I've worn them to work.

I was wearing Birks yesterday in the sun.

It was like 22 degrees.

By the way, a good long weekend,

labor weekend forecast too.

Nationwide?

Nationwide.

Not like it might not be the hottest in places,

but there'll be some sun, which is nice.

Lovely.

Bit of a drizzle though, right?

Isn't there a little bit of a drizzle?

I'm only going off the headline,

settled and mostly dry weather this long weekend.

I haven't read the storyboard.

Don't ask for details.

Yeah.

This guy always asks for details.

Ask for details on a hungover Friday.

You prick.

Sorry, guys.

Let me slide.

Details on my back and the necks, you know?

He's a man of detail.

Yeah.

Anyway, so...

I'm getting stuck in his own details.

Speaking of Birkenstocks,

because Birkenstocks, I think, are eternally fashionable.

Did you see, like, the start of this week or last week,

they launched on the stock exchange,

and they are worth billions of dollars.

The Birkenstock exchange.

I think they, like...

It was literally beer to grab,

and it tickled me in a surprising way.

How much?

Is it called, like, five billion dollars or something?

God, they used to just be for, like, lame and camping trampers.

I know.

Because I walked...

There was, like, one of the...

The train station in U-market, there's this, like,

little kind of off-the-strip set of shops.

Right.

That is, like, full of, like, you know, a beaut...

a beautician and, like...

Yes, classic.

Like, maybe a martial arts store or something.

An associate.

A martial arts store.

And then there's, like, there was an old Birken...

And I was like, oh, my God, that's where the Birkenstock store was.

And it was, like...

It was, like...

It was, like, a nana shop.

Abandoned.

Yeah.

Abandoned.

And you can see one now on the corner of where all the expensive shops are in New York.

Yeah.

It's because they're...

I'll give you one hundred dollars.

Yeah.

Cash money, if you can guess the exact year that Birkenstocks was founded.

Oh, right.

Seventy-six.

Oh, sixties.

Seventies.

What, when was that?

Seventeen-seventy-four.

What?

Seventeen-seventy-four.

I nearly told you that.

Wait, no, you're not older than New Zealand.

No, dude.

German sandal maker.

The resurgent German sandal maker Birkenstock, once beloved by healthcare workers.

Really?

Pre-croc.

They were the 1700s croc.

Pre-croc.

They've been valued at 9.7 billion US dollars for the soft exchange.

Yeah.

And, yeah, started in 1774.

Oh, wow.

That is wild.

Founded in 1774 to make orthopedic shoes by 1897 Conrad Birkenstock of the Birkenstock

family had made the first flexible sole, fitting the contours of the feet.

I've got a flexible sole.

I love when you wear them and they're the best, they're the best.

They are great.

Now, speaking of Birks, more shoes are back in fashion.

Now, this is a shoe I rocked to death.

You'd go to number one shoe warehouse, you'd pay $10 for a set of these shoes, you'd wear

them and you worked a full hospo job, terrible for the feet.

I am, of course, talking about the humble ballet flat.

Oh, I saw a kid when I was doing school pick up.

Well, you said it the day before and this kid was wearing ballet flats as like school

shoes.

And I was like, are they what they used to call kung fu shoes?

No.

Slightly different.

A little bit different.

The ballet flat.

Kung fu shoes could very much pop up again.

I've seen a lot of people wearing these.

Girls wearing a lot of these.

Yeah, like 20 years ago, 15 years ago, they were at, that was what you wore, set of skinny

jeans, ballet flat, nice top, like ballet flats, ballet flats.

That was all it was about.

I used to work in a cafe, you'd wear jeans, the work shirt and a ballet flat and then

your feet, which is so unsupported, so flat to the ground would hurt and worse, smelly.

Yes.

That's what I always remember about ballet flats.

Because you just, there was no, it was before the socket.

Yeah.

So there was a raw dog in there.

Even with a socket on, you're going to see a bit of sock.

Most things were, you know, tray revealing.

Have you ever tried those, if you've gone, if you've been wearing, say, you go out and

I bet I have.

I bet I've tried it.

Okay.

I bet I've tried it.

When you go out and you try on boots or shoes, but you're, because you're wearing jandals

or Birkin socks, you have to try those weird socks that aren't socks.

Yeah.

So men always get like a thin, uh, cruise, yeah, like a stocking and then women do get

like a stocking.

You're like, but when I wear these shoes, I'm not rocking a stocking.

No.

No, I know.

But when the J-Flat is back, I'm literally on Mipiacci's website and they've got many

tons of them.

Mipiacci, I'm not a fan.

I'm not a fan.

Always ahead of the go.

They're terrible.

They are terrible for your feet.

They are terrible for the nose and they're terrible for fashion dialogue.

Play it.

and Fletch Vaughn and Ailes.

Fletch Vaughn and Haley, silly little po, silly little po.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little po,

silly little po, silly little po, silly little po,

silly little po.

Silly little po, do you shower before, during, or after,

adult fun times?

Showering.

What kind of shower are we talking about here, Vaughn?

You've got a big shower.

I was going to say, you've got a big shower.

Big shower coming.

Probably the one that you've made.

Big energy, Ailes.

Yeah, it does.

Do you know, we were going to put in one of those built-in

seats, you know, like one of those tall seats,

but it didn't seem practical.

Because we moved our old house.

The shower had this leg-up thing in the corner.

Oh, yeah.

To shave your legs.

Yeah, it didn't work that out for me.

I just thought it was four or 60 times.

Worst seat.

Great for a leg-up during shower, adult fun times.

But then I was like, ah, it's a leg-up.

Shave your legs.

Genius little invention.

Not as genius as laser hair removal.

And you never have to shave your legs again.

Yeah, that's also up there.

Do you shower before, during, or after adult fun times?

Lowest, during.

Yeah, of course.

Because afterwards, you don't need a clamp.

It always seems like a better idea than it actually is.

Yeah.

Before.

Yeah.

46%.

After.

47%.

After.

Always shower after.

But it's the night time.

I'm going to sleep now.

You're going to yuck.

Always shower after.

Oh my god, no.

I would sooner have a shower before.

It's not as time the microphone goes off for a minute.

Just a second.

One second.

One second, listener.

Good question.

Sorry, I lost the bird.

Leaving none of it.

I can answer that off ear.

Off ear, OK.

Yeah.

Off ear.

Let's.

You should shower.

There's a bit of a run.

I like to be honest.

I'll go before and after.

But I like to be clean.

I like to be clean.

If it's spontaneous, like it happens, right?

And then you shower after.

But if you knew it was going to happen, like if it was your.

In the mood.

Yeah.

Then you would shower before.

Before you went to bed, you'd hop in the shower.

Yeah.

Clean your birds.

Yeah.

Although there's nothing worse than jumping in the shower

before bed, then getting into bed.

And then it happens.

And you're like, now I've got a shower again.

Now I'm filthy again.

That's why it's a quick shower beforehand.

Yeah.

And then a more thorough shower afterwards.

Oh, no, I can't be bothered with that.

Nanky.

No, I can't be bothered.

Well, I'm going to sleep now.

I'm satiated.

Yeah, you're going to sleep in all the mess.

I am.

Sir.

I am satiated.

I shall not be removed from this bed.

Lauren messaged, saying, I knew my husband as a friend

long before we got together.

That's nice.

That is true.

You've got to build that solid foundation.

So it's a running joke at this point

that he religiously showers after the fact.

The very first night we did it, I knew he would go and shower.

So I took that moment to run out,

because I may or may not have still had a boyfriend at the time.

Oh, crossover.

Crossover.

But a crossover there.

But a flatmate situation.

As you were saying, you need a solid foundation.

A solid foundation.

Nothing like starting a relationship by cheating on somebody.

Hey.

Sheridan wants to know why all three aren't an option.

Oh, OK.

I guess that's the jewering was kind of.

So you're having a shower.

Oh, and then they join you in the shower.

And then you do it.

And then after you take it to the shower.

Yeah.

Only if your shower's big enough.

Also, if it's a shub, you've got a real chance of an accident there.

If you guys are in the mood for a bit of shower sex,

please know you are welcome at my house with my massive shower.

I appreciate that.

Tiled.

Floor to ceiling.

So nothing is an issue.

OK, well, no, I've got a big shower, too.

Yeah, actually, you've got a great sex shower.

Thank you.

I don't have anything to hold on to.

No, but that's when you get to an older age

to put in those handrails.

The rain head.

Oh, I'll rip that straight out of the wall.

You don't want to hold onto that.

The glass with a heavy set, boy.

Oh, glass.

I'd really like to get a bit of leverage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

They call this dark and matey's lever.

Yeah, you do need those elderly rails.

Yeah.

Yeah, they are always a great look in a bathroom.

Well, that's the thing.

Put them in at a younger age.

Use them for the sex.

And then when you're old, use them for just not dying.

Yep.

You know?

So they're really for all ages.

Yeah, they're for all ages.

Rose says, try it out during our new double shower.

Oh.

What?

Try it.

We've just tried out a new double shower,

although neither of us are particularly athletic.

So we ended up on the floor of the shower.

Oh, on the tiles.

What, like a missionary?

On the.

Trying to be sexy and use.

Oh, this is too missionary.

Oh, come on.

I can't be a classic.

Next thing, old mate's making these weird noises

and fumbling around.

Turns out the water was coming off me at such a rate.

He was literally drowning.

She was waterboarding.

We'll stick to before and or after from here on out.

OK.

You don't want to waterboard your partner in a shower.

No.

You'll have the U.N. all over you.

They will call that out.

Could you pop into the garage and get the snorkel set?

Yes.

The mask and the.

The does interrupt the flow.

Yeah.

True.

Yeah, for you.

I love you.

Don't you move.

I'm just going to go get the snorkel.

Where are you going?

Just going to grab the, well, I can't find the snorkel.

So I'm just going to go cut a piece of garden hose.

And bend it.

Yeah.

Well, what do you do with that?

Breathe through it.

Oh, OK.

Olivia says both big white eyes after that.

Often before and after.

But I've just got a new man.

So you sometimes have fun in the shower, too.

Oh, yeah.

Fledgling relationship.

Look at this, Gresh.

I'm so happy for everyone who's just living in Poundtown

at the moment.

Travis said, Travis said, who's showering these days?

I couldn't agree more.

It's Travis.

As a woman who hasn't had a shower for nine months,

couldn't agree more.

We were showering too much.

Yeah.

Every couple of days is all right.

Katie says no.

OK.

Just no.

She was just says no.

OK.

So I don't think that's full of detail there, Katie.

Yeah, thank you.

And Lee says, I'm a before and after guy.

Yeah, thank you.

I appreciate that, because little rinse beforehand.

Yep.

A thorough deep clean after.

Yep.

Got my Facebooks being a real dick today.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That was sent through Messenger of the show chat.

Yeah.

But I can't click out of once I click into a picture.

I can't click out of it.

That's going to be a hard day.

It really puts the world's problems at risk.

It really does not.

Oh, now it's the scale of the world.

This is the page that needs to be killed.

Let's go to the world.

Play, sit in, switch for the nightly.

You say you'll never join the Navy.

Never climb Mount Fuji on a port visit.

Or break the sound barrier.

Joining the Navy sounds crazy, saying never actually is.

Learn why at navy.com.

America's Navy, forged by the sea.

Play, sit in.

OK, I'm going to show you.

I've just restarted my computer.

It's completely forgotten how to computer.

It's like it's once had a real not a tick night.

Yeah, it's forgotten everything, my dude.

Yeah, everything.

OK, good luck, everyone.

I haven't unplugged on like it's the long weekend.

Just I'm going to wait to unplug.

He's got to write the top six.

And then he's done.

Shit, you better get writing.

It's forgotten.

Facebook exists.

It's forgotten.

Could you reset your cookies?

Did you delete your history?

It's got to be the cookies.

It was like, hey, babe.

I'm like, yo, what's up, computer?

It's like, do you want to access to the key chain?

I'm like, yep.

It's like, no, can't do it.

Oh, so then that's why it's just forgotten everything, right?

Yeah.

Why do you like everything?

Good luck over there.

Yeah, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers at this time.

I've got to do it with Hannah's God right about now.

Yeah, I've hung up on her.

She's gone.

She's disconnected.

Now, here's a TikTok with a hashtag wedding, hashtag

cool, hashtag innovation.

I always find the coolest things are hashtagged cool.

That's why I put on all my Instagrams, hashtag cool.

Yeah, so people know.

And this is an idea for weddings.

Someone executed this and they shared it saying,

this is a great idea for weddings.

Your guests get to your wedding.

They line up at sort of like almost a ticket booth style

desk and they are handed a phone bag in which they can slip

their phone in this way and they're allowed to use their phone

if they need to get hold of people or do things.

But they are unable now to take a photo.

The bag's locked.

The bag locks the in front of what, the camera?

Yeah, it's got a panel facing camera.

How does it do that?

Yeah, it must have a little slot down the top.

Let me look at you.

So it's got a little fold over pouch.

You'd cover that much of your phone, the camera.

So you can still use it and whatnot.

You cannot use the camera.

So you can make calls, you can get your Ubers, text,

check on the babysitter.

And they lock the bag with one of those like security tags?

Yeah.

Yeah, OK.

Yeah.

So is it that's just-

I hate this.

Yeah, but it's to stop people putting up the big day

before they get to publish their wedding photos.

I mean, we've got a wedding and our friends in it

said you're welcome to take photos during the day.

You want to take photos yourself?

I always look my best at weddings.

I've got to do it for the gram.

Well, you've got the new Karen Walkers now.

I've got the Karen Walkers now and I've got a Karen Walker

dress.

I mean, I'm ready to go.

Yeah.

But you don't- and then the invitation that we have,

it just says like, we just ask that you don't post online

until we're-

And then the NC says it again.

And then ta-da.

Oh, that's going to be me.

I don't need to put the other-

You are the NC, yeah.

But you don't need to have a bloody locked bag.

I'm not a child.

Yeah.

This doesn't make bloody NCEA level three exams.

That's it.

But do they not want them posted, the bride and groom

and this-

Well, it's a mixture, right?

People are- so there's these bags and then there's other bags

where like, you know, when you go to like a screening

or something, you put your phone in a bag

or you have to leave it.

Yeah.

That you're not- they want people to not be on their phones

the whole time.

Yeah, because they don't want you to record it.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, but I'm just like, don't, you know.

You just ask and if people are the dicks,

then they shouldn't have been at the wedding.

I'm reading the comments on this and one person said,

oh, just bring my iPad then.

But you know a mum will.

You know a mum will.

Oh, she looks lovely, doesn't she?

Get the iPad.

Play.

Zidem's Fletchvorn and Haley.

From the self-driving ZM think tank,

this is the top six.

Wow.

It's just, I was just checking if I had my stand hour

as we approached the top of the hour.

Who cares today?

And I had four stand hours.

I was like, that's not right.

Look, I had one-

Midnight.

Jesus of Nazareth.

Midnight.

We're a little dusty after the live show last night.

It was a late night.

The, now, is he the CEO?

Tony Fernandez, the CEO of Air Asia,

is getting a massage from someone

who looks like they came straight from catering.

Yeah, I know.

I've got like an apron on.

She's not loving it.

Yeah, she, honestly, it was like, give us a rub, love.

And he's going to be like, what the hell am I not?

He's like at a boardroom table with his shirt off

and an office chair.

Yeah, like business slacks on, shirtless.

And no body shame here.

But he's got a set of boobs on him, you know?

It just feels rude.

He's owned the airline for more than 20 years.

He's made a few social media gaffes.

In 2023, he said, these are my three goals,

one of them, which is to lose weight.

And then he posted a picture of himself with his shirt off

and detailed how he planned to lose weight.

Like how bizarre.

You're the CEO of a company.

You don't post a before photo.

Yeah, we're not doing gym updates.

He's also posted on LinkedIn, numerous images of his daughter's

wedding and photos of himself with his shirt off

on previous occasions.

He won a Formula One racing bet against Richard Branson in 2013,

forcing the British entrepreneur to dress as a stewardess

and serve drinks to aeration customers.

Fantastic.

I mean, if you can do it, why not?

But so he posted this photo on LinkedIn

and then everyone was like, do a Zoom chat.

Yeah, he was on a Zoom chat.

Well, it was happening.

So the staff were all looking at this.

He's since taken it down, though.

Yeah.

He said, I can't explain my thought process,

but it doesn't always work.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, I love that as an hour.

This is a mess, mate.

Yeah.

So I've got the top six on the inappropriate behaviors

for a CEO on a Zoom chat.

That wasn't right.

A CEO on a Zoom chat.

Number six on the list, you never

want to hear your CEO talk to their pets in their pet voice.

Oh, hold on, guys.

Hello, really?

We'll get to the filings in a minute.

But.

Hello, puss, puss, puss.

Hello, puss, puss.

Everybody, puss, puss, puss, puss.

There's got to be a boy, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.

You've got to do that.

You're so handsome.

Who's got a belly?

You've got to be a boy, puss, puss, puss, puss.

Number five on the top six inappropriate behaviors

for a CEO on a Zoom chat, not muting their Zoom

before having a little toot.

Oh, yep.

Yeah.

Number four on the list of the top six inappropriate behaviors

for a CEO on a Zoom chat.

They do the Zoom chat from their bedroom,

and you can see their masturbation station.

Yes.

You don't want their masturbation station to shine.

Box of tissues, aloo.

Aloo.

Yes, some hand cream.

I just get very dry.

Yeah.

The farmer's catalog.

Things hanging from the wall.

Yeah, a couple of suction things.

Yeah.

The farmers do or still do a catalog?

Surely.

Yeah, dude.

Oh, OK.

Well, look at him.

There you go.

There's your answer.

Yeah, dude.

They do one.

Well, I mean, you have people that shop at farmers.

Like, can I be on the line?

You don't get it delivered like a junk mail.

I can't say I've received a farmer's catalog.

No, I don't have a farmer's mail.

No.

In your circulars?

If you're listening, please let us know.

No, I reckon those days are gone.

Really?

Yeah, I don't reckon junk mail is a thing now.

It's not a big thing.

Would you say the dog days are over?

The dog days are over.

Like, when I used to finish school

and have to deliver, like, the warehouse catalog,

farmers, all the mailers, or just

a big massive pile.

Yeah.

Postie plus digital.

That was always a one on its own individual plastic.

I think they mailed that out to people that.

Yeah, yeah.

Easy buy, the same.

Yeah.

Almost a magazine.

Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six in appropriate behavior

is for a CEO in a Zoom chat, eating and talking and slurping.

Yeah, don't slurp.

You're the CEO.

Yeah, no eating while you're talking.

Number two on the list of the top six inappropriate behaviors

for a CEO on a Zoom chat, screaming at their kids.

Yeah.

And number one, and I think this is bad for anybody to do,

especially CEO, lurking with their camera off

and they're mic muted so you don't know they're in the chat.

Oh, yeah.

That's not good behavior.

You're trying to trip someone up because if you're not

in the chat, they're going to be bitching about you.

Yeah, and then you're there and you bring the camera on,

you go, gotcha.

Gotcha.

Yes, today's subsets.

Play, Zerians, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

It's the final rankings.

Today, we rank Leafy Greens.

Yeah.

How do we get into talking about Rocket?

We were talking about my, it was a top six and my mum

and my nan were going somewhere and how my mum hates Rocket

and will like specifically ask.

I'm interested in the salad, but is there Rocket in it?

Really?

And they'll be like, oh, yes, that's her and she'll be like,

and then screw her face up like, yuck.

Rocket is not going to be in my top three Leafy Greens

and I hate when they put Rocket on burgers.

OK, I'm going to throw some out.

No, no, no, there's going to be lettuce on burgers.

It's going to be a fancy or like an iceberg.

Yeah, it's going to be nicer.

Rocket on pizza, though.

No, even that.

Or Rocket, a.k.a. arugula, same thing.

What?

Arugula.

I say eradicate it from the entire world.

I'm going to throw some out.

Khaled Greens, Mustard Greens, Spinach.

I'm talking.

I actually started it and you interrupted me.

How how leafy greens are we going?

That's what I reckon.

Like, let's not get too.

I mean, dandelions, turnip greens, not Brussels sprouts

isn't included.

OK, that was going to be my question of Brussels sprouts.

No, no, no, that's not leafy greens.

Sprouts aren't leafy greens.

I reckon your rockets, your spinaches, your lettuces.

You go straight out the gate and say spinach number one.

I'm so disappointed.

Why?

Yes, spinach is good for you.

It's good in cooking and it's really good for you.

But it's not tasty.

It's not yum.

It's yum because you put it with other things.

Springer, yeah, cream.

It's called a sag.

What's the stuff that's normally in burgers,

just a normal lettuce?

Iceberg.

You know, fancy number one.

Fancy.

Fancy is my number one.

Fancy is zero.

Oh, no.

I love fancy.

It's empty.

I'll go fancy iceberg spinach.

Done.

I'm going rockets number one for me.

If I was going to the supermarket

and I wanted to make a nice high-end salad,

rockets through my go-to.

Musculine can get in there.

Absolute trash.

Yeah, that's a bit.

Mixy or the mixed with the purple and shit.

Yeah, the miscellaneous feels like you're just

having the dregs after they've done all the salad clean up.

And someone's sweat the floor of the salad factory.

I mean, like, let's bag up this bullshit and market it.

I'm going to go rocket number one.

Number two, I'm going to go at iceberg.

It's great.

Yeah.

It's a classic.

Number three, I'm going to chuck a bok choy in there.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm chucking a bok choy.

Yeah, I like a bok choy.

Like nice, sauteed, soy kind of Asian-styled bok choy

with some dumplings on the side.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going bok choy.

What's that on the side?

No, the bok choy is too stringy.

You're a console to that.

Half of it starts migrating down your throat

while you're chewing it.

You're like, yes, you're tanking too much there in the mouth.

I will accept cabbage.

Oh, actually, cabbage is an unsung hero.

Again, we grew up on cabbage, and it was only ever popped

into the crock pot with the corned beef about an hour

before the corned beef was finished.

Good Lord.

The cabbage was strong.

And then also, cabbage, you turn into sauerkraut.

Which is good for your gut health.

It is really good for your gut.

I would say cabbage is also really good.

Not so good on the gut health is with an obscene amount

of Japanese mayo.

Yum.

You cancel out, though.

You cancel out.

Yeah, we're all thinking of a Tanuki's Japanese restaurant

in Auckland that does literally cabbage with kupi mayo.

Anyone's like, yeah, can you eat it?

You're like, oh my god.

Romaine, no, I'm sorry.

I'm taking out iceberg.

I'm putting romaine.

Oh, yeah, okay, there's some.

The one that you can like a cause is the one

that you can grill, eh?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

That's a versatile.

But romaine's the same.

Are we including herbs?

No.

But I mean, they are leafy.

Well, I was saying coriander.

It is a very leafy herb.

No, it's not a leafy leaf.

We're talking about yourself.

You know, we can't know.

OK, spinach.

What about spinach?

Baby spinach.

Yeah, baby spinach.

Well, that's just number one.

Well, what's your, what are your choices number three?

OK.

The one that you can char grill is number two.

Romaine, romaine, or cause.

And number one is just a fancy lettuce.

I love a fancy lettuce.

You're the only one that did rocket.

Rocket rules.

It's peppery.

It's actually got a flavor.

The rest of it is just grass and leaves.

Rocket, yeah, it sucks.

Your trash, your trash, spinach.

Rocket sucks.

Fancy lettuce, the least fancy thing.

I was trying to just try to find what it's actually called

and everybody's just like, no, we call it fancy lettuce.

Fancy lettuce because it's curly.

Next on the show, Sports Talk is back and joining us from Europe.

James Mccony to talk about the All Black semi-final,

which is tomorrow morning.

Play it.

Zidem's Fletchvorn and Haley.

The America's Cup is now New Zealand's Cup.

The steamer, Adams.

Oh, beautiful connection.

The All Blacks celebrating already.

Sports Talk.

It's where we talk about sports.

Yeah, we talk about sports.

Sports and joining us from, I believe, Paris

is James Mccony.

Good morning.

Good morning or bonsoir here.

Oh, bonsoir.

Oui, ça va, ça va bien.

Ça va fatiguer, actually.

When I say ça, you say va, ça va.

Yeah, that was good.

Yeah, a slight delay.

The rhythm was off.

Yeah.

Now, the big game tomorrow, this is obviously mass win

because it's semi-finals and we're up against Argentina.

Is it right to assume we're going to absolutely romp home?

Yes, I'm thinking I'm in a land of very nice pastries

and this will be one of the cakewalks of the tournament.

No, I don't know.

It's one of those ones where we've already peaked for Ireland.

That was massive.

Yeah.

And they didn't get this thing zombie.

It was one of those games.

I was commentating with Elliot Smith on News Talk ZB

and I was wriggling around in my seat for the last 10 minutes.

It was literally squeaky bum time and we got through.

Is it OK to say we?

You all think Scott's through.

So now it's all about all the messaging is like,

we've got to forget about that.

We were grumpy four years ago.

Remember that and we're taking Argentina seriously.

But I think we're going to get through.

Come on.

Yeah.

I know, but you don't want to curse it, do you?

Because there have been a sort of a few upsets

during the World Cup with other countries.

So you never know.

We might be sleepy.

They might have had a big night the night before like us

and be a bit dusty and not play their best game.

You're actually right, Haley, because you know what?

It's good there.

It's good analysis because everybody's saying,

well, actually Argentina, they're beating us,

beating the Orblets in Christchurch.

Yeah.

They're a dangerous side with players playing all around the world.

Now, not just the Haguartes.

And the Pumas, the Pumas are a dangerous beast.

Not as dangerous as a cougar in my experience,

but certainly up there.

Now, are they quite an attractive team, the Argentinians?

Oh, they're hot as hell.

Yeah.

The thing is, the hard thing, yeah.

Googling, Googling, stand by.

I remember that hell of an ass on them, like, really,

like a meaty...

Oh, it's built, like, brick-shedding out.

Like, as you just pop a glass of champagne on it.

Yeah, I feel like some of our...

There's not a lot of really, like,

dumb asses in the Orblacks.

There's a couple, but I feel like Argentinians

are really packing it back there.

Is that a fair assumption and observation?

Yeah, great ass.

Great ass, yeah, great assumption.

And also, no chest hair.

Or if they do, it's perfectly designed.

Chest hair, it's not scraggly.

It's weird, you know, like, I don't know how they...

Do you think they're getting...

They won that.

Do you think they're getting lasering, maybe?

It's possible there was a Casey Climac in Buenos Aires

taking a turn this through.

Ches, I'm having a look.

But they are immaculate.

I'm having a look at the Argentinian team.

Now, immaculate is not generally my type, right?

I like it a little bit rough around the edges.

I like a bit of a gut on a man.

I like a little bit of a mow or a beard.

But God, these are so...

Well, hello.

I am in. Good morning to you, sir.

I mean, what are we doing?

Let's just pop off here.

But looking at this... This team is...

Yeah, I've got a few of my types in there.

Marcos Cramer and Lucas Poros.

Cramer, oh, my God.

They're right up your alley, Hailey.

We've obviously got hot Orblacks as well,

but do you think that the Argentinians

edge us out in the hotness,

but we edge out in the Skills Department, maybe?

There's some edge, aren't you?

Yeah, I think they do.

They've got the Cramer, but we've got the rest.

We've got a team that is functioning perfectly.

We've got the experience.

Did you see the veteran play by Sam Whitelock?

He's about six-foot-seven, six-foot-eight,

and he was bending down like a giraffe

drinking at the river in the Serengeti.

And it was just amazing to win that turnover.

It was just a thing of beauty.

Yeah. Beautiful stuff.

Sam falls into my category, doesn't he?

He is, he is a behemoth.

He's a bit of you.

Well, you can catch James Mcconey's commentary on News Talks ZB.

Also, the ACC commentary with G. Layne and Matt Heath

on iHeartRadio's Saturday Morning New Zealand Time.

It kicks off at 8 a.m.

You can also catch my wife's commentary at our house,

because she bloody gives me a play-by-play.

Who's that?

That's my commentary.

Oh, no, shut his nose.

She's all about to get into it, boys.

From Paris, James Mcconey.

Thank you so much.

Merci, au revoir.

Merci.

Let's kisses.

Moin, moin, moin, moin.

Play ZDM's Fletch Volna Naly.

Play ZDM.

Yesterday, I went and got a beard trim before the live show.

I'm just thank you for presenting yourself.

Just need a little bit of a trim up.

You did look good, actually.

Yeah. Thanks.

Thanks.

Oh, anymore?

Oh, you won't want to return.

No, I'm not asking for that.

If you thought that I looked good,

then I would be the time to say it.

But if you didn't, then... Lovely.

I gave you several compliments last night.

I liked your little silk jammies.

Yeah, I was wearing a little set of silk jammies.

A little moochy silk jammies.

A little moochy jammies.

Big ol' head of fake hair.

So I went in at the lads at the barbers

and was sat down.

And I had a young fellow that I haven't had before.

You remember the other time I had a young fellow

I hadn't ever before in his hands was shaking.

I was like, I'm in big trouble.

And the other time you had someone you hadn't had before,

he gave you a real Craig David.

No, that was a she.

She gave me a Craig David.

Boy, I was a little bit about that.

I was like, when people get bad haircuts and they cry,

I'm like, it'll grow back and we fine.

And then I got a Craig David and I was like,

I can't get it here because I've got to grow out my Craig David.

Not as bad as that time you got the Jonah Loma

and they did the 11 into your eyebrow.

Yeah, put us like that grow back.

Oh, yeah, that was just the time.

Yeah. It was a different time.

And I can't remember what we got.

We got talking about like,

have you got any summer plans?

And I was like, it's crazy.

We're already talking about summer plans.

You said that or he said that?

Oh, yeah.

You got any summer plans?

Did you say it's not that crazy?

No, I said it's crazy.

He said it's crazy.

Jesus Christ.

I'm asking everyone, what are you doing for Christmas?

Would you listen?

It's very simple.

He says to me, do you have summer plans?

Yeah.

And I say, it's crazy.

We're already talking about summer plans.

It shouldn't be crazy.

It's literally nearly the end of,

it's nearly November.

It doesn't feel like it should be.

I don't understand you.

It's crazy.

We're already talking about summer plans.

It's not crazy.

And he said, what are you doing?

And I was like, I know real plans.

And then he was, he did that classic thing.

Young guys always ask, any New Year's plans?

Oh, yeah.

I'm 41 years old.

If I see midnight, it'll be a bloody miracle.

Yeah. Oh, who cares?

I cannot wait for your New Year's party.

Oh, actually, yes.

I say who cares.

I'm looking for New Year's.

My New Year's plans.

And Vaughn is hosting me.

And my other friends that I've invited along

that he does not know.

It's crazy you're talking about it now, though.

It's crazy.

I meet your Montessori friend.

Steiner.

Yeah.

It's all a turn of education to me,

but let me get into the public system.

Oh, what, because she's an actor and a potter?

Stop it.

Anyway, no, she's just fallen to those career.

You always meet someone you're like,

you went to Steiner school, didn't you?

Because they're like really happy and lovely.

Yeah, they're actually really nice.

We are really, really well-rounded people.

Lovely people with perfect manners.

And you're like, ugh, bloody Steiner kids.

Steiner, I am.

And I was like, oh, no, no plans, no real plans.

And he's like, oh, I see what about you?

And he's like, I'm thinking about going to the Mount.

Oh, at New Year's.

And I was like, what is the Mount like at New Year's?

I haven't been to the Mount for a few New Year's.

I was like, but I, and because then I realized

I'm talking to people who would have been babies

when the Mount was like the right home of the riots.

Yeah.

And they used to build Alcatraz, didn't they?

Like a temporary-

How in the cell?

Yeah, a temporary-

A temporary prison.

A temporary holding cell.

Out of like higher pool fence.

Yeah.

And they'd chuck you in there if you were too drunk

to just wait it out.

What a wild thing of that.

That's a wild concept.

A cage full of very aggressive late nineties,

late tens, early twenties males.

Too drunk so they chuck them in a cage together?

Yeah.

They fight.

And so then I noticed when I'm talking about

how in the cell and like the riots

and how like it just always got out of hand,

you vans, warped to us.

I realized that all of these young guys

are sitting there listening to me

and I'm telling them about the good old days.

And it's happened.

It's happened, it's happened.

Oh, shoot, mate.

Yeah.

I fully old-mated it with a yarn about the old days.

Back in my days.

And these young fellas are just like,

really, really?

And I'm like, yeah, nah, she was a different time.

Oh, no.

I even said it was a different time.

Oh, no.

I know.

It was a different time.

Did you hear yourself?

I did.

41 and a half and it's happened.

Yeah.

It's there.

Old mate, holding bloody-

What is it?

Court.

Holding court.

Yeah.

The young fellas telling them how it used to be.

Gather round, kids.

Yeah.

Oh, Papa's got a story.

But then they were just like, oh, I said, oh, people

don't drink like they used to.

Yeah.

And they're like, yes.

Some people don't.

Some of us are clinging on.

I was like, and I was like, it's good.

It's a good thing.

It is a good thing, it is.

Because that was a really weird, aggressive time.

Yes, slain.

The end of the 90s, early 2000s.

Mask.

Yeah, horribly toxic.

Horribly.

You know me.

I'm always trying to look hotter.

No, I don't.

Your name is?

Oh, I'm Hailey.

I've been here for two years.

Nice to meet you.

OK.

We did a show together, bro.

Just last night.

Do you remember?

No, literally like a TV show every single week

for about 80 episodes.

No recollection.

Really, I was the host.

I always said.

A woman.

Yeah, yeah, I hosted.

I said, all right, and welcome to the show.

Vaughn, lovely to have you here.

OK.

Sounds like we had a good time.

Well, I'm always trying to look hotter.

That's what I was trying to say.

When I'm always trying to look hotter,

and apparently there's two simple tricks

that will make you feel more attractive than ever before.

Oh, OK.

That have been shared online.

The first, oh my god, I hate this.

One is to take a lot of pauses when you talk.

Why hate that?

Slow it down.

Why?

So people hang on your every word?

It's really attractive.

We're going to do this.

Is it?

Can I tell you the second one?

Mm.

Oh, there was a pause.

I was like, I'm ready for the second one.

I can feel, I can feel the steam rising from both of you

as I'm getting hotter.

This is a guy who shared this online.

He's like a psychologist.

And he was like, here's two tips.

If you're on a date, they're going to make you appear

immediately hotter.

Nothing to do with the face, the bod.

So you could be a minger.

Could be a minger, but as long as you go, hey, I'm a minger.

With a pause.

Slightly hotter.

The second one.

I'm going to whisper.

If I went on a date and some guy was like, hey, I would run

for the hills.

It's creepy.

Yeah, it's weird, right?

Hey, so tell me a little bit about your life.

Like, what do you do?

Well, I have little cows.

And I also have a life.

And I have goats.

This is his trick.

Really?

And I mean, he's a psychologist.

He said it brings you in, lean in a little bit,

tell them a secret.

I have heard that before, but that's just to get people

closer to you as you speak quietly,

because then their automatic thing is to lean into you.

Oh, you're right.

Close and they pick up your pyheromones.

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Well, people replied to this online and said, no.

That's a no from me.

If I'm on a first date, don't be whispering in my ear

and taking long pauses, mate.

Creepy.

That's really creepy.

Play Zerians, Fletch, Vaughan and Hailey.

Hailey's version.

Song sung with different lines.

That's the concept.

Today's song sung with different lines, Doja Cat's,

Paint the Town Red.

Yes, one of my favorite songs on air at the moment.

Because I really feel like we've got some great songs on air,

and I love this song a lot.

And so I chose that as my Hailey's version for our Fletch

for an Hailey live show last night.

Once again, thank you to everyone for coming.

Why did you guys put on sunglasses

and not tell me we were putting on sunglasses?

Because I know usually when I do a Hailey's version,

we film it.

And I straight up look like shit today.

The eyes tell, people that were hungover.

The eyes tell a different story.

Thank you to the show's sponsor, Nonny's too,

who have just delivered some nuggies.

This day literally couldn't get any better.

Oh yeah, that's so good.

Pause for a small burp.

And now, look, you know what, the people love,

well, the thing they love about this show

is that we're open and we're honest.

We're not hiding anything about ourselves.

Today we're a little bit dusty.

And I can feel it in my vocals.

And you're going to hear it in my vocals here.

Now you chose the song and you based it on

the events of last weekend, the election.

Still ongoing in terms of settling in on the government.

But yes, Paint the Town Red is no longer red.

It's Paint the Town Blue.

This is Hailey's version, Paint the Town Blue.

Last night, the boys, I had a triangle and an egg shaker,

didn't you?

I did real good.

You did real good.

Thanks.

We don't have it today.

But yeah, you could just do it vocally if you like.

Go on.

Oh.

Ting.

OK, here we go.

Apologies for the vocals.

Trick, I said what I said.

New Zealand is no longer red.

Now we're under national instead.

Run by your thumb from ANZ.

Trick, I said what I said.

Hipkins has been put to bed.

Now get ready to be led by the former CEO of ANZ.

Ooh, the election.

New Zealand voted for a new direction.

But there's one exception.

Whispitas has to get a resurrection.

Ooh, the election.

New Zealand voted for a new direction.

But there's one exception.

Whispitas has to get a resurrection.

The votes are in.

We have a new government.

Lapis out and National is running it.

This election was full of befodiment.

Unlike McDonald's, I was not loving it.

Quite difficult to choose who I would pick.

Who would get my illustrious orange tick, mostly men

playing who's got the biggest, other than cannabis.

Angel, Chloe, Swarbrick, who's for the renters,

who's for the farmers, who's for the rich men,

who's for the llamas, who's for the gays,

and who's for the babies, who is for Fletch,

and who's for Vaughn and Haley.

No one feels that appealing.

Not that guy from Air New Zealand.

Not David Seymour smiling funnily.

Certainly not Brian Tamaki.

Trick, I said what I said.

New Zealand is no longer red.

Now we're under national instead.

I run by a thumb from ANZ.

Trick, I said what I said.

Hipkins has been put to bed.

Now get ready to be led by the former CEO of ANZ.

Ooh, the election.

New Zealand voted for on your direction.

But there's one exception.

Winston Peters has to get our resurrection.

Ooh, the election.

New Zealand voted for a new direction.

But there's one exception.

Winston Peters has to get our resurrection.

Fine will forgive old Christy Lux,

claiming that his groceries cost 60 bucks.

Meanwhile, old Chippy has decided to stay,

but wants everyone to know that no, he's not gay.

Green Party head, the leftist of the policies.

Chloe Swabrik, please will you marry me?

You are a queen and everybody says so.

Please let me be your fellow woke lesbo.

Winston Peters is called the king maker.

David Seymour is called the life taker.

Luxon calls himself a change bringer.

Hipkins calls himself a little ganger.

James Shaw probably gets called a stoner.

The top guy probably gets called a loner.

Chloe Swabrik gives me a bone.

Sorry, I'm really disrespecting her.

Trick, I said what I said.

New Zealand is no longer red.

Now we're under national instead.

Run by a thumb from ANZ.

Trick, I said what I said.

Hipkins has been put to bed.

Now get ready to be led by the former CEO of ANZ.

Hew the election.

New Zealand voted for a new direction,

but there's one exception.

Winston Peters has to get a resurrection.

Hew the election.

New Zealand voted for a new direction,

but there's one exception.

Winston Peters has to get a resurrection.

That is Hailey's version.

Woo!

Thank you very much.

Phenomenal. Fantastic.

Phenomenal.

Amazing. And especially being that you're so hungover.

I'm so hungover and I also did some on-the-fly censoring

of that version.

Thank you very much.

It is our long weekend group toad,

and it is all thanks to Foursquare.

We've embraced the warmer days and nights

this long weekend with Foursquare.

We've got a good weather forecast for the country as well.

Everyone's excited.

Now, this is how the long weekend group toads

work for those that are new to the show

or don't know what it is.

We need you to call from traffic.

You need to be around cars, crawling maybe on the motorways,

you know, the busy roads.

You don't want to be hooning it, you know,

one team, no one's around.

You give us a call on 800 dimes at M

and you give us the first bit of the long weekend group toad.

And then somebody else listening near you,

hopefully also listening, replies with...

So hopefully it goes...

Success.

Now, phones have been against us in the last couple of years.

Phones are getting better.

The iPhone has a gate which cuts off background noise.

So that can...

Out of the gate.

That can cut off...

Out of new diamonds.

Some toads.

But...

We've just got a hot, you know.

Hey, mate, and there's bills to pay.

And it's all thanks to Foursquare

Embrace the Warmer Days and Nights this long weekend

with Foursquare.

Whether it's a springtime feast or a quick bite,

Foursquare has you covered.

Are you going to tell him I literally did that?

I was not listening.

I'm Neil Diamond.

He's too busy doing a Neil Diamond impersonation.

Now, it's alright.

I'm Neil Diamond.

It's alright, it's alright.

Thank you to Foursquare, though.

That's a freebie for Foursquare.

Whether you're vacationing or staycationing this

weekend, Foursquare is your one stop shop

for all your essentials.

Thank you.

Let's go to John and Harvey first up

for the long weekend group two.

Whereabouts are you?

Oh, we are at the Basin in Wellington.

I love the Basin Brazilian.

Oh, I...

When you're ready, window down.

And we were part of the legendary

Ten in a Row group.

Oh, God.

Killed us, honestly.

One for the boss.

We're ready right now.

Ready right now.

Go, go, go.

Yeah!

What is this?

We are Neil Diamond.

Oh, John and Harvey.

There was a four or five.

We only need one.

We only need one, but I'm glad you got

the four or five for the spirit.

So good.

John, Harvey, what a way.

On your way, thank you.

Let's go to Rocky and Krasic.

Whereabouts, Rocky?

I'm on Kalimba Street, so I should have

picked the people around me.

We need it.

Oh, all right.

When you're ready.

Oh, my God.

What's the bell?

I don't know.

The bell was at the...

We took the bell for the last night.

Okay, wait.

Kalimba is literally running.

She's not moved all morning.

She's been very sluggish.

And she is sluggish.

On your feet.

She is spiraling.

Okay, we will do...

We'll do you in a moment.

As we'll carry on, but we will put you

on hold and ding you when we find out.

Here it is.

She's running.

Oh, slug's running.

Yeah, don't call her a slug.

Come on, slug.

Come on, wait again.

Say it again.

You are a...

Whoa.

First time...

Long-time...

Long-time listener.

No, she's got to say it.

Rocky's got to say it.

Rocky, what are you?

A long...

Long-time listener.

First time caller.

Yeah.

Okay, let's do the two.

Let's do the two.

That was so lucky.

All right, when you're ready, Rocky,

give us the bell.

Yeah, we're ready for the two.

Go.

Ready, go.

Yes!

No!

I heard it.

Rocky, we didn't hear.

I heard the indicator.

We're going to need...

Oh, come on.

Okay, let's go again.

Go again and window down.

Hang on.

Window's down.

I'll go again.

Okay, go again.

Window down.

Ready?

Yep, go.

Yeah!

Oh, it was so exciting.

Yeah!

It was so exciting.

Rocky...

That was so good.

So good.

Thank you, Rocky.

Let's go to Chloe and Shay and Hamilton.

Good morning.

Chloe and Hamilton.

Good morning.

We're about to you.

Um, Gordon's roundabout Hamilton.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

You sound like a kid.

I hope you're not driving, babe.

Are you 11 years old?

It says...

She's not driving.

No.

It's Hamilton.

I'm with my mom.

Oh, my gosh.

So she's doing the pedals and you're doing the steering.

No.

Okay.

I feel just...

Okay, no.

She's not going to...

Oh, my God.

Don't be ridiculous.

No.

It's Friday.

All right.

When you ready, give us a long weekend group.

We're ready.

Go.

Woo.

Yeah, that was it there.

They were on...

They were right on you.

Wait, did you hear it?

Yeah, I heard it.

Yeah.

We're locking it in?

Yeah, lock it in.

All right.

Thanks, Chloe.

Thanks, Shady.

Thanks, Hamilton.

That is so good.

All right, let's go to Grace and Miranda and Tim

and the rest of the crew.

I think we're ready to go.

We're ready to go.

Miranda and Timeroo, good morning.

No, we're in Fungaree.

Fungaree.

Could not be further from Tim.

I absolutely apologise.

I was told Timeroo.

But, well, Fungaree,

when you were here,

you were told Timeroo.

No, it was here down there.

It did.

Fungaree.

All right, we're going for four in a row here.

No pressure.

Let's go.

I think we're coming up to roundabout now.

We're just coming up to roundabout.

You are a very well-spoken young man,

Grayson.

I appreciate you joining the show this morning.

Yep.

Hit it.

Hit it, mum.

Go.

What was that?

No, no, we need to go again.

Go again.

We missed.

Go, go, go.

Yep.

Give me three seconds.

Mum knows it.

Does mum know the toot?

Yep, yep.

Give me three seconds.

Okay, go.

Yep.

You're going to have to find out.

Yep.

Oh, no, fangaray.

Oh, fangaray, give it one more, I reckon.

One more go.

This could be the end of the run, though.

No, shut your mouth.

Stone Cold Killer.

Okay, we've got a communication break down here.

Satellites are down.

Satellites down.

Well, at least that way, you can always come back.

Let's go to Justine.

Good morning, Justine.

So wait, are we counting it as a fail

or a did not complete?

Yeah, that's a did not complete.

Good morning, Justine.

Whereabouts are you?

I'm just at the green lane in section.

Right at the front with the red light.

Okay, go.

Yeah, go on, go on.

So, three seconds.

Let me just pull up the front of the line.

I pulled over to get the good, good angle.

We're getting good skype.

Yeah.

Add a girl.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Great turning.

Go again.

If you're in green lane, please reciprocate.

Yeah.

Oh, you can't do that now.

You can't vocally finish yourself off.

There's no left.

You can't finish yourself off.

It's not allowed, unfortunately.

You broke the rules and you will pay the price.

Okay, we're still sitting on three.

Three from five now.

60%.

Let's go to Callum.

Good morning, Callum.

We're about to you.

I'm in Crosschurch, Belfast.

Okay.

All right.

Car's around.

Yeah, there's quite a few at the moment.

Okay, let's go.

Belfast.

When you're ready.

I almost sounded like somebody else was doing the...

The lead code.

I think it was just a bit of an echo down the phone line.

Can we go again, Callum?

Oh, no.

Callum on deaf ears.

God, it was...

That's a good tooth, though.

It's a straight fail, though.

Callum, we've started off at dizzying heights.

I know, and we're coming crashing down.

We're spiraling.

That's all right.

Let's go to Todonga Max.

Good morning.

Morning.

The Max, octopus number nine.

Oh, Max.

It's been a while.

How have you been, Max?

I've been amazing.

Oh, you are amazing, Max.

Have you been in any more school productions?

What are you doing at school at the moment?

Um, I'm actually not at school,

because I just came out of the semester.

I got my appendix removed.

Oh, no.

No heavy lifting for you, please, Max.

I think that's the advice after a...

You're better off without it, you know?

Use the appendix.

Useless.

Spacekeeper.

Okay, Max, when you're ready,

let's get the long weekend group two from Mum.

Okay.

Yep.

Um...

No.

No, no.

One more time.

Otherwise we'll move on.

Yeah.

We kinda.

We kinda on the highway.

Uh...

Oh!

Should we come back?

Yeah.

We'll come back.

We'll come back, thank you, Max.

Max and Mum.

Priscilla, we're about to you.

I'm in Hamilton.

Okay.

We're about to end the tron.

I'm right on the intersection

of a big strip.

Um,

intersection of a big straight.

Just come up everyone drive.

Get it when you're ready.

Okay.

Are you driving a

a very petite horn?

Are you driving a 1930s airship?

Okay, again.

Okay, I'm

in the section.

Yeah.

don't you people probably can't hear

that horn?

It's a whisper.

Is it a

a horn?

We're really taking liberties with horns.

We're such a jump to west Auckland, Amy.

Good morning.

We need a win.

We started off so well and it's just gone to

absolute crap. It's gone to cuckoo.

I am at a train tracks

Brails have just gone down.

Come on.

At least three guys here.

Yeah, good.

Are you noise gates to

Subaru?

It's not picking up the horn. Is the window down?

We couldn't hear your tooting.

Are you screaming? Are you being murdered?

Do we need to call the police?

It's missed the toad.

We didn't hear a thing, Amy.

I don't know.

You got the Subaru horn of

phones on your hands.

Can we try again with the window down?

We're not picking up the horn, Amy.

I'm out of traffic now.

This is just

for you, but it can't be counted

against our long weekend group.

I'm so sad now.

Don't give up.

We went from 100% six to two

and now we're at 30%.

We're going to take a time out.

Let's just embrace the warmer days

and nights this long weekend with Foursquare.

Are you going to say like six times?

That's my job.

Your job is to be cute and funny.

No, you're a place boy.

We'll come back with part two

of the Long Weekend Group 2.

Yes, Jesus, shake it off.

We need a bit second half out of you lot.

Stadium's Long Weekend Group 2.

Cheers to Foursquare.

I'm warning,

warning, warning, warning.

Part two, it's a chance for us to

re-gather and get it together, New Zealand.

Yes, come on.

We had lots of group turts and now

it's just a bit of a mess.

We've had failure after failure.

Well, we started hot.

Don't let our hangover

bring the energy of the country down.

I'm off my seat. Let's go.

Laura, good morning. We're about to in Hamilton.

Are you?

I just hit the speed off into a car park

because I was in the prime time spot

and just ducking back

into roundabout territory.

I'm kind of in

Rototuna slash Widerty Drive

area, which has always been

good in the past. Okay.

It used to be a farm when I was a kid.

It's a successful hunting grounds for the Group 2.

Rich, rich bird-eye soil for the Group 2.

Are we ready for the toot, Laura?

We are really

as we'll ever be.

Go.

Was it enough?

Go again, Laura.

One more chance.

Hang on.

Here we go.

You missed one off.

You checked

an extra one in the first one.

So it averages out.

And again.

We can do this.

Hang on.

Here we go.

No, Laura.

Great toot.

We got there in the end.

Let's go to Kass

in Christchurch. Good morning, Kass.

Kilda.

All right. When you're ready, give us a long weekend Group 2.

Okay.

See, you've stuffed up the rhythm there as well.

He's

bound to that out.

He's already in.

He's in the

a bit more sensitivity.

Okay, Kass, go again.

You do the work.

You reap the rewards.

Beautiful choice.

Go on. What kind of mum wagon do you have?

Good horns.

Let's go to Bronte

on the Capiti Coast. Good morning, Bronte.

Good morning, Fletch.

Good morning, whereabouts? Good morning, Bronte.

Good morning, Gawain.

Good morning, Bronte.

You just wanted a personal...

I'm going to high.

If we've got beef, Bronte.

No, no, I really love you.

I'm at the red light now.

Go, go, go, bro.

You ready?

Slow it down a bit, Bronte.

Just get the window down

because I think it gated off there.

It cut off any sound.

Okay, going again.

As you were.

I saw one.

It's slightly delayed.

Because your phone cut out, but then it just

opened up just when the toot happened.

Oh, that's good.

It opened up.

Bronte, you're on the board.

Fantastic.

Max, back in Toto.

Are you guys in good traffic now?

Yeah.

Let's get it.

Go.

No.

It's hot there.

Brilliant.

Thank you so much for trying.

Amy, we're about to you.

We're Stalkland again.

Amy, Amy.

Hit it.

I talked over you, Amy.

Actually, what's happened there?

It's your phone.

Yeah, it's your phone.

I'll try again.

I'm going to throw the phone out the window

and start again.

If we don't get a toot, I reckon

just throw the phone.

Yeah, bye, Amy.

No, we tried.

It was fun.

This sorted affair is over.

Wilson, good morning.

Good morning. Hello.

Hello, Wilson. We're about to you.

Wilson.

It's Christmas penetration live show.

We meet you.

Good morning, Wilson.

I'm going to start.

I'm going to do it now because of the green light.

Go, go, go.

And again, Wilson.

Go again, Wilson.

On Simon Street.

You've had success in Wellington, haven't you?

You've moved to the Big Smokin.

Jesus, guys, this is really bad.

Thanks, Wilson.

Thank you, Wilson.

I don't even want to be faced with the stats.

Five from 14 to eight.

Get a grip.

A foot.

You're kidding me.

That's atrocious.

I think we're just...

We're ploughed through.

We're about to go to Alisha.

Is it traffic around?

Yes, I'm going to read like now.

Go, go, go!

That was such good trading.

Such good trading. We're going to give her another chance.

One more.

Oh, Dunedin, suck!

Dunedin does suck.

I didn't say it.

It is my least favourite big city.

No!

Wow, shots fired.

But if you'd got a tooth, then it would be top five.

It would be top five.

I'd be booking a flight here right now.

I'm actually just sitting here now at TVNZ

that taking her off the weather flyover.

Oh, wow.

Thank you so much for trying.

Let's go to Bex in Upper Heart.

Good morning, Bex.

Good morning.

Come on, Bex, you've got to turn this around for us.

I think we've just got to finish with one.

I'd just love to finish with one.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Any ready, Bex?

Okay, here we go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!