ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st September 2023

Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleece, Vaughan, Anne, Hailey, and an Eros tour movie.

Does Taylor Swift need any more money?

You can never have enough.

You can never have enough.

No.

I think you can.

Oh, yeah, I mean, wow.

To me, once it gets to a billion, I'm just like, ah, yeah, totally get a grip.

More tickets today.

You're going to be listening at eight o'clock for that Taylor Swift song midday and four

by the first caller through this afternoon with PJ and Maddie to win that pass.

You're on the road, Hailey.

You've been hit up for tickets.

Oh my God, I arrived in Tauranga yesterday and checked in and the girl was like, look

at me.

And I was like, okay, well, maybe she recognizes me because I'm mega famous.

And then as I checked in, I was like, Hailey Sprosh, I know, can I get some Taylor Swift

tickets?

It's like, no, babe.

Well, like you just had some in your purse or something.

Yeah, sure.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Fleece is the only one that works for the show with the Taylor Swift tickets.

He's in charge of the Taylor Swift tickets.

Yeah, I've got them all in my purse.

Have you ever seen Fleece in public?

By all means, hit him up for Taylor Swift tickets because he's in charge.

He has the physical tickets.

He's in charge of all of them.

Yep.

And I've even got some spares as well.

You've got spares?

So many.

So many.

This weekend, have you seen Fleece?

Yep.

That's what you've got to do.

I'm open to bribery.

Okay.

Cash moneys.

Well, in what form you want cash moneys?

Cash moneys.

Or cakes.

Yeah, right.

Cash moneys.

Lamingtons.

Guys, I wish you guys were here because honestly, the sun's dead.

Sunrise?

Oh, sorry.

Sunrise.

Pond, it's the morning down.

Pond.

Wait, where am I?

What about the moon?

The super moon.

Oh my God, it was so super.

I don't have a moon.

But I've got a beautiful sunrise over the ocean in Tauranga.

When it came up last night.

Yeah, she's a beauty.

I kept waking up through the night thinking the security light was on, but it was just

the beaming moon.

The beaming moon.

The moon.

Maybe she'd get some better curtains.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

I do have to solve.

Because we got rid of our bedhead.

Oh, yeah.

So we don't have a bedhead.

Why don't you have a bedhead?

Too much bedhead.

Too much bedhead.

Oh, yeah, man.

Leave it to the dead on the wall.

Leave it to the dead on the wall.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Lads, lads, lads.

Lads.

Had to replace the bloody gym.

Right, man.

Bloody holes in the water.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, give me the neighbourhood away.

I'm guessing it was more than it wasn't aesthetically pleasing.

It was, no, when we just upgraded the size of our bed, we just didn't get a bedhead.

Right.

So, yeah, our heads are a little closer under the high window, so I catch the light sneaking

under that curtain.

A bedhead should take care of it.

Okay.

Yeah, okay, right.

Gorgeous.

Okay, coming up on the show, the top six is a new trend.

This is the dumbest.

This is, I read this.

Oh my God.

It's just angry.

Yeah, it's called silent walking.

Which is just going for a walk without, like, it's silent.

Without headphones.

But it's not silent.

It's just walking.

It's walking.

This is how my, this is what my mum calls walking.

But I guess it's that so many people walk now with headphones that it's a treat to walk

without them.

You go, oh my God.

Well, the top six will delve into this and other trends.

Yeah.

Top six names for things that are just things.

Like silent walking is just going for a walk.

Next on the show, though, yesterday, we had an ad for the Electoral Commission, Electoral

Electrical.

Yeah.

With too many syllables in that every election.

I was encouraging people to vote, enroll to vote.

Enroll to vote and all you needed was your driver's license.

Hmm.

Which one's right?

Yeah.

Drivers or driver license?

Some grammar.

Some England next on the show.

Yesterday, when we were doing our radio program, we play ads because ads pay the bills, bitch.

They don't.

I don't say that.

No, no, that's quite aggressive.

That's, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They pay the bills.

Come on in a bit hot there, bud.

Baby.

They pay the bills, baby.

It was an ad for the, for enrolling to vote for the upcoming election.

Yeah.

And it said, all you needed to do it was ID, like your driver license.

And I was like, we were all, but like, that doesn't sound right.

Yeah.

I was like, he's misread that.

He should be driver's license.

You need your driver's license.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because it's the license of the driver.

Yeah.

It is the driver's license.

But is that a specific, but then when you are referring to a specific driver, you can

do the possessive license, but when it's a sweeping possession, it doesn't need the

possessive apostrophe.

Yes.

No, because, but, but we still all own them.

You know what I mean?

Like collectively it's the driver's license.

Well, let me get out of my man purse.

My driver's license.

Not Velcro.

It's a Z.

Yeah.

You don't do Velcro anymore.

Because we're not at high school.

Um, it says on the top, look, New Zealand driver license.

Right.

No, they're missing an E.

They're missing an E and an apostrophe.

What about the song?

I got my driver license license.

You'd be like, Olivia, Olivia.

It's my driver's license.

Got my driver's license.

You'd go like an American, a Californian driver's license.

American.

It says drivers or, oh no, that's, so it always says this is drivers versus drivers, but

one's possessive and one's not, which is correct.

And it's like drivers possessive is always the correct spelling to indicate official identification.

Well, let's check Olivia Rodrigo's song, how she spells it.

Olivia, who I'm loving at the moment, by the way.

No, she spells it with no, she just rams an S on the end with no apostrophe.

Oh no, possessive apostrophe.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's simply must have a possessive apostrophe.

But I'm arguing whether it's driver or driver's license.

I just lost a little bit of respect for Olivia Rodrigo.

That should be drivers, shouldn't it?

It should, drivers possessive.

Because I wanted to find my Ohio license, it's called a driver license.

It's very awkward to say it like that.

Doesn't it, doesn't everybody else just say drivers license?

This is a question on a language, English language and usage page.

Yeah, that's it. We've found a California. It just says California driver license. Yeah,

they all seem to like this. It should say drivers. I'm upset by this actually quite

deeply. I don't even care if it's got an apostrophe or not. I just want an S on it. No, I need

the apostrophe, the possessive apostrophe. Seeing it written, um, driver is just describing

what kind of license it is, not whose license it is. Other examples would be a bartender

license, bartender's license, not bartender's license. If you were just to describe the

type of license. Now on your, on your license, it is just saying this is a driver license.

I've got my pen license, not my pens license. Okay, here you go. I will present you now

a UK driving license, driving license. They've got driving. See, I almost like that better.

I like that better. Yeah, it's a license to drive. Do you think it's stopped this very

argument that we're having? I reckon, I reckon the UK couldn't figure it out. So they just

went, oh, okay, we'll just say driving license. Yeah, it does. It says driving. I got my driving

license last week. That works, right? Yeah, she can do that in the UK. That works. Silly

little poll is next on the show. And today, the big issue, do you use the toilet brush

at work or are you just like, it's work. It doesn't matter who doesn't every other woman

in our body.

Today's Silly Little Poll. Do you use the toilet brush at work or are you disgusting? Are

you a monster? Everybody does it at home, right? Without fail, right? Yeah, it's your

home. I've lived with some guys that were big to do that. But when it comes to work

for some reason, and even, and I'm going to say it, I think females are the worst judging

from what you and the other females in the, in the building. I can confirm. Women are

the pets. So like you, in our, in our bathroom, I think, I've been saying it for years. It

just in general. But you go into our bathroom and there's four stalls, three standard ones

and one accessible. And sometimes you'll go in and be like, oh, go to another one. Oh,

God. Yeah. To find the one that you don't have to then take responsibility for. And

then my splats, not my splats, because all the toilets have a brush, right? All of them.

It's so bad when you go to a place and there's no toilet brush. I know. I like hotels. Yeah,

hotels hate toilet brushes. How many times have you wrapped a hole in a toilet paper

around your hand, flushed it before it refilled, got your hand and then given that like the

best. I can't leave this for the cleaners. I just can't. I simply won't leave. My name's

on the booking. I can't. Yeah. So we asked you when you're at work facility little poll

today, do you use the toilet brush or are you like, it doesn't matter. I'm at work.

Oh my God. As guys, I don't know if women know this. As guys, if there's just a little

bit of a skid, we'll use our powerful urine to blast it off. Yeah, we will. It's a fun

game. It's a fun fire hose game. Using one's penis. Anyway, I don't know if you guys can

do that as well. No. Blank looks from the producers. Yeah, no fair enough. Do you use

the toilet brush at work? 59% nice. Said yes. I do use the toilet brush at work. 41%

said no. We should have followed it up with is this different at home? Like then done

it at home. Oh, how do you do it at home? Because it's your problem to deal with later

if you don't think so. Rachel said if we had one, I would, but this fancy office I frequent

has hourly cleanings. Hashtag miracle. What hourly cleanings hourly. But then it's a picture

at American station. America's different because the water goes right up to your butt. Yeah.

Kisses your perineum. Yeah, there's no skitties. It just all floats there and then you flush it.

That's why they're techniques different, right? Josh says yes and so should everyone else.

As a person at my work who cleans the staff toilets, it would make my job much easier and

less gross. Oh my gosh. Josh. Is that a name of shame campaign if I could if you had rock

hard evidence? Send them in if you've got rock hard evidence of some names of yours.

Well, if it's rock hard, it's not leaving skids. Yeah, no, it'd be bouncing around. Maybe

a float. If you leave a skitter, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Said Hannah. Yeah,

you've already told Hannah's spoken. Yeah. Brittany says only the office girls use it

and it's too awkward if you leave any damage. Yeah, that's what although do you know what

at our workplace because we're like a five story building. I've seen people come up from

like level two or three to use the ground floor toilet that we use and then go back

up to their office. Yeah, definitely. So they come downstairs to take a dump and then go

back to your I know 100% you can never tell who's leaving the you know, who's the

you know, who started that tradition at this company, Leighton Smith or talk back host

really because he was on after Hosni come down for an 830 dump. He'd ever and he's

high back to dude. Yeah, he's a lot of Kiwi fruit, dude, explosive. It's not just his

opinions that were shut. Yeah.

Gianna says whoever said no is fair or clean up after yourselves. I was a cleaner for a

while and some people are just effing disgusting. Yeah. Abby says no, because I don't

should it work. One of those people you have to she has the ultimate power. We get up too

early and then drink too much coffee to not you just have to just I read it. Yeah. Lane

says no, because our staff bathroom is also a public toilet and not paid enough to clean

up everybody else's residue as well. Your staff is also the public toilet. I'm so sorry

for that. I'm so sorry. Yes, always. There's one woman who doesn't at my workplace, Farrell.

She is Farrell. That's from SJ. Oh, yeah. Farrell. I love that she knows the woman who's

leaving the squirts. Yeah. Yeah. I feel sorry for the females because you have to sit down

regardless of one or twos. Hmm. So yeah. Thank you for feeling sorry for us. That really

means something. Yeah. I don't. You don't. I don't feel sorry for you in that regard.

There's other things I definitely feel sorry for you about, but having to sit. Like what?

What a beautifully relaxing spot. Yeah. Wearing a brazier every day. Yeah, that looks like

it sucks. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. That's the little poll. I was expecting a song with a

bit will possess to take us out of that to be honest. God, you really sent it up, didn't

you? And I was like, the volleyball went up and then someone was like, Hey. Hey. No.

I've never knowingly been cheated on, which I've just sort of thought about. Yeah. Yeah.

All my boy, all my boyfriends kept it secret. It's so nice of them. They're very crafty men.

No, I genuinely don't think, I mean, because I haven't had that many boyfriends to be fair,

but I don't think I've ever been cheated on. But when I think about it, you know,

like a lot of people, uh, you read lots of articles and a lot of people talk about how

they exposed their partner, how they like caught them or called them out. And sometimes I think

about, I'm like, yeah, that'll be fun. Man, I get real crafty, but then I probably wouldn't

be devastated and really surprised and kind of impressed with our, do you know what I mean?

I'd be like, good for you. Yeah. Cause you don't think he's just got it in him. Just

organizational wise. Just on his physical size alone. Sneaking would be. Sneaking would

be hard. And also as sort of a, like a tech illiterate man as well, like texting secretly

different apps. He doesn't know about the different apps. Yeah. So he'd just be texting.

He sounds like, he sounds like a dream to cheat on, to be honest. Maybe I will.

Anyway, there was this woman, right? And she shared it all on TikTok. It was like almost

like a master plan. She discovered that her partner was cheating on her. Like she, you know,

found out and they had a big trip to Europe booked a nine week Europe trap. So like you,

they couldn't have called it off because it's all booked and paid for booked and paid for. Oh,

yeah. Okay. Also, you know, when Europe's in your forecast, you need to get to Europe,

otherwise it's devastating. Yeah. As a woman who has canceled a trip to Europe before. Yeah.

Um, so she found out and was like, okay, well, I'm still gonna go in this trip. And what she

did is every destination, she took a picture of her partner, but she had a little post-it note

and she would write on it a story that she then played out on TikTok in a video. And each photo

revealed the story of how she discovered he was cheating. And she would get him to stand in

front of landmarks all across Europe and hold up the post. It don't be like, I'm taking a photo of

you. And in it, the video is like, I've been with my partner for six months. This, this time he told

me, I just discovered he's cheating. After this trip, I'm going to break up with him. And the whole

time it's hashtag, I know. And then she put it all together in a video. And it's just him,

poor, poor, poor bastard. It's just him, like standing in front of these landmarks, smiling,

and her saying like, he told me six months in that he loved me, hashtag, I know. We moved in

together and started planning for our future hashtag, I know. And then it goes on and it's

like, he did all these little things. Then I discovered, so after this trip, I'm breaking up

with him. And then she uploads and seems it to him.

And the world and post it to the world to see women. God, we're twisted.

And so it's obviously over. Like, what was the follow up from this?

No, she's taking it back.

Would it be married now?

They thought a child might solve their problems. So they decided to try that.

I've heard that that's a great way to save a relationship. Yeah.

Bring another innocent human into it and make them sort of like weaponize them.

It's healthy. I've heard it's a very healthy way to do it.

I mean, you've tried twice and you and Shade. Oh, my God, yeah.

Yeah, we might need another one. That's why we keep getting more dogs and animals.

Just constant patchwork.

This is the top six.

Silent walking.

This is a TikTok trend. Look to be peddled by Gen Z.

And it is a it's just going for a walk.

The worst part is they've gone their phones.

I'm going for a silent walk and say, no, no, no, you're on your phone.

You immediately my documenting your silent walk made your walk not silent.

Now, this isn't a walk where you wear like noise cancelling headphones with nothing playing.

Nope. That's me. I hate nature.

It's that's what it is. It's going for a walk without headphones.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

Give me strength. Yeah, it's going for a walk.

It is. I will reiterate once more.

It is just going for a walk.

So today's top six is the top six.

Names Gen Z have for things that we, which is just how we used to do things.

Numbers six really sounds like you're a boomer yelling over the back fence.

Because they took a Mandarin.

And I was not their Mandarin.

They wouldn't eat my mandarins because I got seeds in them.

Oh, yeah. OK.

Do your mandarins have seeds in them?

I don't have. I don't have mandarins.

OK. You've got 10 Jellos.

I got 10 Jellos. I got oranges.

I got this other weird sort of orange.

Did you know who's got mandarins growing oranges out of you two?

We both got oranges.

Did you see that video I tagged you in?

Yes, sir.

This girl peels her oranges, cuts them into like quarters,

freezes them and then gets them out and blends them for like an aparole drink.

I mean, I've been, I've been leading them fall on the ground

and then Vorny comes over and picks them up for the pigs.

And the pigs don't deserve my aparoles.

You know, no more.

Stop freezing.

Why does the piggies love aparoles?

No, it's run dry now.

I'm freezing them.

Yeah, good.

We're going to have some frozen aparole cocktails.

I've been giving my oranges to the cows.

So much vitamin C.

Which is why they haven't been catching colds.

No, no, that really eject.

So the top six names.

Gen Z have for things which are just how we used to do things.

Number six on the list, clackety typing.

That's just typing on an old keyboard.

But according to Gen Z, clackety typing is a new form of typing

that just really lets you feel the letters that you're typing

and the impact they may have on someone you know.

OK, great.

That's good.

That's good stuff.

Number five on the list of the top six names are Gen Z

have for things, which is just how we used to do things.

Number five is daytime sleeping.

Hon, that's a nap.

All you had there is a nap.

Sleeping during daylight hours is a new form of nighttime sleeping.

But it's traditionally when you're awake

because you've got to rest, Queen.

OK, yeah.

Yeah, Queen.

Yeah, Queen.

Number four on the list of the top six names, Gen Z

have for things, which is just how we used to do things.

Manually handbrushing your teeth.

Hon, you're just brushing your teeth in the electric toothbrush.

I'm still doing it that way.

But manually handbrushing your teeth takes the electricity

out of your mouth and lets you get in tune with your teeth

like our ancestors did.

Wow.

Or like our ancestors.

Oh, my God.

What?

Yesterday, August said to me, they had a choir thing.

She's like, oh, my God, there was this woman at choir

and she was like wearing a denim top and a denim skirt.

Like they did in the old days.

So we called her 2006 Karen.

I was like, for a start, 2006 is not the old days.

Oh, my God.

2006 is not the old days.

And she's like, you know, no, no, no, wait, wait,

way back, way back, like, way back in like 2002.

Do they look at me for encouragement

that 2002 was any better than 2006?

I was like, that's not the old days.

Yeah, is that why they call Hailey Nana?

Yeah, Nana Hailey.

Oh, no, no.

Nana and her crow's feet.

No, no.

OK, she's booking Botox this weekend and it's your fault.

I'm going to have a stapled face next week.

Don't call her Nana Botox.

No.

Number three.

Why is Nana's face all tight?

Nana's got tight.

Number three on the list of the top six names

Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things.

Phone free in-person communication.

Come on, you're just having a conversation in person

that's been done for a millennia.

But.

It's called talking.

Phone free in-person communication.

It takes the tech out of your already overloaded tech life.

It lets you communicate and establish a connection with someone

in a physical manner.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, that's good for you.

Number two on the list of the top six names

Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things,

are multi-family, multi-food meals.

Hon, you're describing a potluck dinner.

But multi-meal, multi-food meals are great for the community

to feel and establishing group dynamics.

It's how our ancestors used to do it.

They did, yeah.

Kia ora, kia ora.

And number one on the list of the top six names

Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things,

latex-free love-making.

Hon, that's raw-doggin.

But, and I will say it, you should only be doing that

with someone you trust.

And Fletch, who can we trust?

Nobody, when ever, full stop ever.

Gotcha.

Never trust anybody, full stop ever.

Just like our ancestors used to do.

Yes.

That's the day's top six.

Last night, am I ready to talk?

Yeah, am I free to talk?

Yeah, you're free to talk, yeah.

York, you can talk whenever you want.

Don't let anyone ever tell you you can't.

Shut up, woman!

I'm just, I'm future off.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'll just mute, I'll mute.

OK, that's a sign that I've married the right person at work

and I've married the right person at home.

Which leads me nicely onto last night was one of those moments

where you're like, oh yeah, I've married the right person.

Yep.

Shaday, it was after dinner.

Yep.

I was on the computer doing fact of the day research

and such, because it's Windweek.

It's Windweek here at Fact of the Day.

I've got great Windfacts for you coming up.

Oh, yes.

But I heard from the pilot yesterday,

you'll remember World War II fighter pilot,

getting the skill Worthington, who gave you the fact of the day.

He gave me another fact of the day and it was so scary.

I was like, I can't tell people about that.

I won't get on planes.

Oh my God, no, shut up.

Yeah, well, you have to give us that one.

It's about microbursts.

Maybe I'll give you that one as a little side fact.

A little taste.

And so I was doing that and Shaday was sitting in the lounge

folding some clothes and Seven Sharp started.

And this, this, this happened.

And Ali, how did the idea come about?

One night, my husband and I had been out for a few drinks.

He just kind of thought it'd be really cool

if you could just get like a burrito out of a hole in the wall.

So originally it was like burrito hole.

And then it just blew from there.

So, what?

She, she said, but without a few drinks,

we went out and he wanted a burrito from a hole in the wall.

So it started out as a burrito hole.

Now, when she said burrito hole,

we both literally went burrito hole.

And that's when you knew that you married your soulmate.

That's when I knew that we're, you know,

you need a little reminder every now and then

that you're married to the right person.

Wait, so you weren't, it wasn't even that you were like,

oh, we both love burritos.

It was the term burrito hole.

It was the way the ladies say we went out for a few drinks

and my husband said, wouldn't it be good

if you get a burrito from a hole in the wall?

So it started out as a burrito hole.

And when she said burrito hole,

you both immaturely giggled burrito hole.

Literally like that.

And say, burrito hole.

Wow. Yeah.

You married your soulmate.

Yeah. That's again, it's confirmation.

Yeah. Yeah.

But man, I know I want a breakfast burrito.

I'll just take any burrito.

I'll take a daytime burrito right now.

Breakfast burritos are amazing.

Breakfast burritos slap.

Because there's egg and there's bacon and there's, oh yeah.

Well, there's no rules.

No rules, yeah.

What can go to burrito, breakfast burrito.

As long as there's, I think there's egg at the very least.

Some chives.

There's no rules in any burrito.

You could put carrot in there.

You could put.

I wouldn't have squirt in a burrito.

I don't like eating squirt anyway

because of the cephalopod.

Yeah.

They're too clever.

Yeah.

Squid burrito.

It's a hard no from me.

Yeah.

Says a guy who happily ate a pig.

I can't eat a squid, it's too intelligent.

It's the final rankings.

Final rankings, we do this every Friday.

We rank different things.

Fight, we argue sometimes, don't we?

Yeah.

We haven't ranked as FVH.

You know?

Haley number one.

Is that what you want from this?

She needs number one more than us.

She needs it more than us.

Yeah, she does, yeah.

She needs a daily number one.

Oh my God, born who's your number one?

You are.

Oh my God.

Well, there we go.

OK, well, today's final rankings.

We're doing chip styles.

Yeah.

And this, I think we got onto this earlier in the week

because I think I said I detest.

Hates a strong word, but I detest.

No, crinkle-cut fries.

I've just got no time for them, mate.

No, they're a classic.

Nothing says they're in the freezer.

A couple of new releases from United Video on a Friday night

with a no-frills pizza out of the freezer

and chuck that in there on the bottom rack,

on the fries on the top rack, and you've

got to keep moving them around, and some get crispy,

and some don't, and some seem barely cooked.

No, it's straight-cut for me.

Straight-cut.

You mean like a push-and-chip style?

It's still a wedge, but straight, I'd go straight.

OK, so they're all.

You're doing just a standard chip.

Just a fish-and-chip-chip.

A standard, yeah, a standard fish-and-chip-chip.

Yeah.

There are waffle fries.

Waffle fries rule.

What about cooling fries?

Too much in a waffle fry, and they go too crispy.

I think cooling and waffle are just so pretentious.

Yeah, they are.

You see fries on a menu, and you're like,

oh, should we get curly fries?

I love curly fries.

I'm so excited.

And they always come with an aioli.

Yeah.

I love curly fries at the start of the bowl,

but at the end, when you're picking weird little

last shapes out, it's hard.

I mean, you've got your classic non-E shoe strings.

Yeah, shoe strings rule.

Which I love.

But, see, I love like a shoe string, say, from Mackers.

But when you do shoe string yourself at home.

No, you don't shoe string at home.

You don't know that it's going to be fried.

You don't shoe string at home.

Yeah, you don't shoe string at home.

Can you air fry a shoe string?

You wouldn't.

No, he wouldn't bother.

He wouldn't bother.

People scream about the air fry's ability to fry fries.

Yeah, but.

Are we going to add kumara chips to this?

No, because it's not the inside.

It's the outside.

It's the style.

It's the style.

But kumara couldn't do.

You couldn't do a kumara shoe string,

because it wouldn't hold up.

Yeah, they're too sad.

Or a waffle or a curly.

Nah.

Pretty do a waffle.

What about potato skins?

Are we going to do that?

Oh, yeah.

OK, they know.

Yeah, yeah, OK.

I think that's a massive skin.

That's almost a different way of.

That's almost like counting a different kumara, isn't it?

Yeah, do you think we include that or exclude?

No, I think we exclude it.

Let's exclude it.

OK.

I mean, it's delicious and I don't want to take anything away from it.

OK, well, I'm crossing it off my list.

I'm going to go, I'm shoe strings number one.

Is it?

By a country mile.

But only if it's a takeaway, like a non-ease.

A non-ease or a pub shoe string or just any shoe string.

I remember in the 90s when bread was the base of the third pyramid.

So things was a little bit cooked.

They used to say that if you want to have a healthier fry,

you get a bigger fry because it's all about the surface area

that the oil penetrates.

And that's why shoe strings were all that's why they're so young.

It's because they've had full oil penetration.

What?

Yeah, I know.

See, Ira, it's a straight cut, a long straight cut.

Beautiful.

More like your fish and chips.

You missed the chips.

Chips.

Yep.

So good.

They're all when they're done right, unbeatable.

They are my number one.

I'm going to go shoe string number two and then number three.

What about a potato tornado?

What's a potato tornado?

What's a potato tornado?

They've got that machine and they wind it and it spirals it out

and it goes on to us along as different.

No, that's different.

It's too different.

No, that's different.

It just went into my head.

What about a steak cut?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, I think that goes south rules.

They say not a wedge.

Not a wedge.

I'd go a steak fry.

A steak fry three because they're good.

They're like a wedge, but of, you know, aioli.

But a strength to them so you can really get a bit of a chunkier

sort of a dip sauce on those if you're using them in that way.

Are we doing tater tots?

No, that's not a fry.

No, but it's a top.

I mean, that number one across the board.

Right.

No, we've done ways to serve potatoes.

Yeah, we have.

That was taken care of when we did ways to OK.

I just think you guys are mad.

Shoestring is number one.

Shoestring for me, shoestring number one.

Then I'm going to go a steak cut.

I'm going to jump all the way back to a big fat fatty.

And then I'll meet.

I'm going to I'm going to shove a crinkle in there.

So you are shoestring a crinkle and crinkle.

Yeah, baby.

I'm going to go steak number one.

Because it's just a potato wedge in the title.

Basically, it's a flat edged wedge.

Yes, it's a wedge.

Wedges are always, you know, in a round shape.

OK, yeah, these ones aren't.

They're just a fat.

They're just a big chip.

So that my number one.

Number two is waffle fries.

I love waffle fries.

Yeah, but how often are you having a waffle fry?

Not very often, but that's why it's a treat.

But if it's there, I'll get it.

Now, what about a carrot cake?

If I see one on the menu, I have to get it.

That's my rule.

What about they're called cottage fries?

They're like a crinkle.

They're like a chip, a fat chip.

But they're like, can't with this oration, like a crinkle.

Gurgling, gurgling.

A cottage?

Nah.

Like this.

How would you describe that?

Like a potato chip.

But it looks like a huge.

It looks like a massive gurgling.

Yeah, it does.

Like how gurgling.

No, that's not a fry.

I don't think that's.

Potatoes thick cut on a corrugated slicer and fried.

No, that's a slice.

I don't think that's a potato slice.

You're dangerously entering Tater Tot territory.

Now, is poutine?

But no, that's ways to serve fries.

That's ways to serve.

That's ways to serve.

OK.

OK, so, Vaughn, did you find a rank?

Yes, I went steak, waffle, and then standard.

Wait, where's your shoestring at?

I didn't go shoestring.

Controversial.

Yeah.

Controversial.

So are we saying what?

Shoestring grabbing at like a claw full of shoestrings.

I mean, like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Or like shoving them in the burger that you're having.

Yeah, and lots of salt on them.

When they're not salted.

They've got to be heavily salted.

Don't bother, don't bother.

Sometimes chicken salt.

OK, so who wins?

Final rankings.

Who's winning?

So I'm going shoestring.

I think shoestring wins.

Steak cut.

I think steak cut on your list.

I did steak cut.

I think steak cut might have won there.

Steak cut wins.

Right, steak cut fries.

OK, all right.

And then shoestring two.

And then what's three?

Just standard.

Just standard.

Standard fish and chips.

Fish and chips.

And no crank a lot on the list.

That's the one I really want to watch.

It's on my list.

It's on my list, and I will speak for them.

Yeah.

They get a lot of sauce in the grooves.

For me, it was four-fequel with shoestring.

More sauce on the grooves.

Yeah, that's what the rivets do.

Yeah, they catch more sauce.

Scoopy up on the sauce.

Yeah.

Yesterday, my fast walking got me in trouble.

I'm going to say again.

God, you sprint, dude.

You sprint.

Do you know this weekend, hopefully,

we're the permitting doing a little hike with some friends?

Oh, weather is not permitting.

Weather is not permitting.

No, it's not the kind of, I think, rain later in the day.

We don't mind a few showers.

It's not the kind of, we're not going

into the alpine conditions.

Are you doing it for the gram, though?

No, just for the fitness and...

Nature.

Nature, you know, when you go out

and there's lots of trees around you on the side of it.

It's a silent walk.

It's a silent walk, yeah, it's a silent walk.

But I don't, I feel like my friends

haven't been hiking with me before.

They don't know what they're in for.

Yeah.

You know, I did the Tongareiro crossing.

God, that was so slow, my friends.

So yesterday...

This is why you travel alone.

Yeah, it is.

Fast walk.

Yesterday, I went into a supermarket.

I won't say the name of the supermarket,

but it's red and white.

More walks.

I know, yeah, no, it could be anything.

Could be anything.

But I wasn't silent walking.

Like we mentioned earlier in the show,

I had my noise-canceling headphones on.

Yeah, I loved that.

I went in to get a drink,

but I couldn't find the drink that I wanted,

so I was like, I'm just gonna leave.

And I had my headphones in

and I was walking to the train station.

And I heard this yelling over my headphones.

I was maybe like 50 metres outside of the store,

outside of the supermarket.

And I turned around and there's a detective from the NYPD

yelling at me.

New York police department.

He's got like the big badge.

You know, the big badges that they have.

I love those.

The big sheriff's badge.

The big, you know, like the shield.

It's the shield.

You know, they have the shield.

And that's his security.

Yeah, it's right on his thing, but it's said security.

Is he wearing a flak, like a stab-proof jacket?

Yep, yep.

So he had his vest on and he kind of comes out.

Big kind of, big, big guys kind of comes over to me.

And I take my headphones out and he's like,

Oi, you didn't buy anything.

And I was like, oh, I said,

I didn't know you had to buy something.

Oh, you smart ass, you smart ass.

That's the good answer though,

because I am also unaware of the fact that you don't have

to buy something should you enter a property.

Cause when I walked down the supermarket,

I just walked through an empty checkout.

And I had, I did have a backpack on.

And then I was, and he was looking at me

like I was a shoplifter.

Oh my God.

It's because you've gone in and you're sprinting out.

Yeah, cause I walk fast and I have like a bitchy resting face.

Doing a runner.

So I must look like a shoplifter.

What did he think you'd shoplifted?

For the second time in six months,

I've been accused of shoplifting from a supermarket.

Hot shop.

Do you think it's racial profiling maybe?

So he said, yeah, I think it's, it probably is, yeah.

And I said, oh, do you want to look in my bag?

He's like, no.

And I was like, and what do you want then?

Okay, like.

Do you want to kiss me?

Like what?

Do you want me to ask for my number?

What are we doing?

Oh my God, are we going to make out?

And then I just looked at me and I was like,

oh, do you want to look in my bag?

He's like, no.

And so I'm like, okay, we'll have a good day.

He's like, okay.

And then like, goes back to his supermarket.

I was like, what?

Like, why, I literally wasn't even in there that long.

Yeah, that, cause you just went in and put in your backpack

and ran out.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

So that's the second time I've been accused of shoplifting

in six months.

Cause you walk late.

You've just stolen something.

I walk out of supermarkets fast.

Like I walk everywhere fast.

Also his eyes move side to side like,

oh my God.

Oh my God.

Yeah, I just look shifty.

I must look shifty.

Do I look shifty?

You are a shifty fellow.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

It's a bit shifty, our flitch.

These security badges though,

they look like actual detective badges.

Like, what does it,

what does it take to become a security guard?

Like, what are the qualifications?

I don't know.

Not that I'm thinking of doing that.

Like I know that supermarkets are like

absolutely under the pump at the moment.

I've seen like the most craziest people walk out

of supermarkets with baskets of gross reason.

Running.

Running, actually stealing stuff

and like staff getting abused.

I've heard.

In my defense though.

Yeah.

They were being mean to her.

So she had to.

But I've been in hardware store.

Yeah.

A supermarket and the warehouse,

which I was going to try to say department store,

but over the loudspeaker, it's like,

hey, you know how they do their little like,

specials.

Specials and what,

they're having like little store announcements.

I've heard one in each one of those ones saying,

please be kind to our staff.

Or like a message of,

I'm just like, why?

It's got to the point where they're constantly like,

hey, if you're walking around a,

you might be having a bad day,

but remember it's not our staff's fault.

Please don't scream at Barbara.

When she's scanning your items,

if it's not exactly how much you thought it was going to be.

Yeah.

That's sad to me.

Dude.

Be nice.

Be nice.

Be nice.

I guess you have shoplifting in your image.

Absolutely.

Punch them, punch them.

Get there.

I didn't know.

No, Hayley.

They, yeah.

They're just doing their job.

But like, I mean, just do it better is what I asked.

Like, I don't know.

Like if you see someone.

Search the bag.

Like, yeah, exactly.

Or if you see them.

Don't search Fletcher's bag, dude.

Yeah, you don't want to search my bag.

Or your, your bag actually.

Oh God, you probably put your finger in like bigger,

wet chocolate and puddle.

Oh, I don't think you can say that on the radio, but.

You sure?

Yesterday, we announced the Friday's live line up Jojo

joining Jackson DeRillo boys to men,

flow writer, Kelly Rowland,

Travis McCoy, Baby Bash and more.

The tickets are on sale September 12.

All those details are at ZM online.

Well, we could do one better than just announcing

she's part of the lineup for Friday's live

because she's joining us on Zoom.

Good morning, Jojo.

Hi guys.

God, you're gorgeous.

Not that I forgot.

Guys, someone I love.

I can't see her on the screen.

I'm getting a light reflector moved

so I can see this gorgeous woman.

Oh my God.

Look at the light, look at the light.

Oh, sweet.

Oh my God, we're so excited to see you, Jojo.

When was the last time you were in New Zealand?

I've never been to New Zealand.

I've moved my mind.

Yo, this is bucket list stuff that I'm checking off the list.

I'm so excited.

I was going to ask you that

because when your single came out,

you were what, 13, 14?

So you wouldn't have even done a concert, right?

No, never went to New Zealand.

Yeah, my first single, Leave Get Out, came out when I was 13

and then Too Little Too Late when I was 15, 16.

So it's been like a trillion years.

So I'm excited.

Do you know your single, Leave Get Out,

I just confirmed 2004.

That was when Fletch and I started working together

in the radio.

And boy, I tell you, we played that song a few times.

I mean, I can't believe, like,

I finally get to sing this ancient song.

Stop calling it an ancient.

Well, because Brian Way, you're calling us ancient

when you call the song agent.

This is a fresh new pop hit.

No, we're not, we're fetching.

Oh my God, what are you going to do when you're in New Zealand?

Because if this is bucket list,

you've got to do more than just perform.

You've got to do more than just work.

Okay, so my friend who lives in Nusa in Australia

actually just texted me and she goes,

what was she saying?

She was like, hey, should we plan a wine tasting trip

in one of the regions?

What did she say?

In wine country of New Zealand after the last show.

So we're going to set our wine on.

We're going to, you know,

you're going to have to wheelbarrow me out of the winery.

It's going to be great.

Because these Friday's festivals,

it's like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

And like, we're there on a Sunday.

Yay, Sunday.

And then all of these musicians and artists

are just getting busted and crammed in and go, go, go.

And then at the, you do finish in New Zealand.

So you should definitely hang around for a bit.

Oh, I'm going to hang around.

I'm going to, I cannot wait to see.

I mean, what would you guys recommend I see on time?

Well, I was going to say, we'll show you a route.

We'll show you a route.

We've got the site.

We've got a good time.

You say wine country.

The whole country's basically wine country.

It depends on what kind of wine you want to drink.

I mean, the good stuff.

Are you more of a red or a white sparkling?

I am more of a white.

I like, like a dry white.

I was going to say, we're going dry.

We're going sweet.

Already I'm an idiot.

In my mind, I'm drawing up our White Hickey.

Oh, we're going to go White Hickey.

White Hickey, close to Auckland.

Beautiful ferry ride.

It's going to be November.

So we're probably getting more like summery.

Spring weather, it's going to be gorgeous.

It's going to be gorgeous.

But the ferry prices have gone up $1,000.

I'm sure, I don't know how we'll deal with that.

I'm sure we can weasel JoJo onto the White Hickey ferry.

Yeah, easy.

So you're performing on stage at the moment in Moulin Rouge.

I am.

I'm starring as Satine on Broadway, which is crazy.

And I grew up a musical theater kid before I started my pop

stardom at 12.

And before that, that's what got me into the love of being

on stage and everything was local theater,

professional theater in Boston.

OK, I hate to do this, boys.

And just give me a couple of minutes.

JoJo, what's your favorite?

I'm a musical theater kid as well.

What's your favorite musical?

Favorite role.

Oh, favorite role.

Evita, I love Little Shop of Horrors.

Oh, I love Les Mis.

I'm a Les Mis girl.

I'm a Les Mis.

You got big eponine.

Yeah, you could be eponine.

You've got big eponine energy.

Thank you.

That's a compliment, guys.

Because I don't know foreign language right now.

I don't know what you're doing.

I love Sweetie Todd, like beggar woman.

I love Sweetie Todd.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

What's the prize?

Best prize in London.

She can play it all.

If you had to choose, though, JoJo,

would you go like live theater, Broadway, like classic theater

styles, or would you go big pop concert in a crowd?

Oh, I don't want to choose, darling.

I want to do it all.

You must, JoJo.

You simply must.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I suck at making decisions.

That's OK.

Well, we're going to have a big crowd for you in New Zealand

for sure.

Wait a minute.

I need to revisit a Mulan Rouge.

Satine was who Nicole Kidman was in the movie, right?

That's right.

So I'm playing, quite literally, playing a dying whore.

She's the greatest courtesan in Paris.

And she, you know, it's this romance slash tragedy.

And there's a mash-up of all these pop songs, you know,

from the past states.

It is unbelievable.

The show is so much fun.

I know there's a version in Sydney that's playing, too.

So I'm going to try to go see it while I'm over there, too.

Compare yourself to their Satine.

I love to compare myself to people.

Yeah.

What can you tell us about what's in store?

I mean, obviously, people want to hear the big hits from Uroji.

30.

I can't believe you were 13, 14-year-old South.

But are you giving us a bit of a mixed bag, some newer stuff

in the classics?

Really, I just want to, like, bop you over the head with bops.

So I'm just really going to bang, bang, bang, bang.

Leave you wanting more.

Come back and do a full tour for those

who want to see more, you know, another time.

But yeah, I'm just going to give you just relentless hits

and bops.

It's going to be great.

Well, endless bops.

We are very excited.

All the details for Fridays are at ZM Online.

JoJo, we'll show you the wineries.

We will show you the wineries.

We look forward to seeing you.

Thank you so much for talking to us.

Thank you, guys.

And all the details for Friday Live.

The lineup, the tickets at ZM Online, plus the chance

for you to win as well, our ZM Facebook and Instagram

pages for a chance to win.

This really made me chuckle.

There is a woman on TikTok who had filmed her sister

and that says, y'all, which is, well, honestly, I love y'all.

I think we should bring back y'all.

Very American.

Very, yeah, southern states American, isn't it?

It's also very gender neutral.

I remember people always say ladies and gentlemen.

And when I MC, I always look, I'm like,

what do we say instead of ladies and gentlemen?

And y'all is always the number one thing.

It'll be an American website.

Well, I did want to be Vaughn Smith.

Yeah, y'all, as my pronouns.

All right, yeah.

Oh, yeah, y'all, singular y'all.

Yeah, OK.

Yeah, complicated.

Anyway, she said, y'all, my sister made a PowerPoint

to tell my parents she's a stripper.

And it shows her parents who were sitting on.

Great years of a PowerPoint.

I mean, PowerPoint's got so many uses.

This is just one of them.

Her parents are sitting on dining chairs

looking at the TV screen.

Her sister is there with the PowerPoint presentation

up on the TV, and they're watching it.

And it's a slow reveal.

She does this whole storytelling journey of like,

this is a really powerful person who made money.

And da, da, da, da.

And so what I would like to present to you today

is my new career.

And they're like, oh, we're excited.

And then it's like, boop, I'm a stripper.

It's really funny.

Do you know what?

To be fair, her parents are like, OK,

because the PowerPoint really took them on a journey.

Right.

She sold them.

It was a sales presentation.

It was literally, you're so right.

It was a sales pitch more than just an explanation of this

is my new job.

They probably just wanted to out of home.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make your money however you want.

Just get out of my house or start paying rent.

Yeah, exactly.

Rent.

But a very creative way of delivering.

What I imagine most people would sort of perceive

as bad news.

Yeah, 100%.

You know?

Having to tell your parents that's what I'm doing.

Yeah, tough news, tough talk.

Well, I remember when I was at drama school

and times were tough, I thought about doing some,

not stripping, but working at the strip clubs,

doing the waitressing, you know?

Oh, yeah, OK.

Yeah.

How would you have broken that news to Craig?

Do you know what, do you know what that stopped me?

If I, I don't think my dad goes to strip clubs,

but I was like, Majan.

Majan, he turns up.

Or like his business partner.

But somebody he knows might have.

I was like, if Brian, his business partner, walks in here

and I'm like, hey Brian, you out here supporting the girls

tonight?

I'm like, oh, I can't, I can't.

Was the accent just.

I put it on an accent.

Oh, right, just.

I was at drama school at the time,

so I was also using it.

Bit of extra work.

Yeah, right.

You could have told Brian you were researching a role.

Yeah.

I'm, I'm playing a little so southern bell

who comes to the big city and strips for the month.

Do you want a support in the girls tonight?

Anyway, I love watching this because I

thought it was such a fun and creative way of breaking

some sort of difficult news to appearance.

Yeah.

That I wondered if we could take some calls

and get some messages in of the, the maybe creative way

that you broke some bad news to someone.

Like maybe you did a powerpoint coming out.

You did a powerpoint coming out presentation.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

And it's a religious sheet.

Oh, is it?

OK.

Yeah.

And this left column is all the women I'm attracted to.

Now that's empty.

Yeah.

OK.

Here's a man who I have.

That's brilliant.

Had a naked front.

Yes.

An Excel spreadsheet.

You'll notice that the ratio is a well out of whack.

So this columnist people have done just hand stuff with.

Now here's some stats on the next sheet.

OK.

1,800 dals a day.

We want to take some calls.

Maybe we won't do bad news because, you know,

coming out is not bad news.

No, totally.

But maybe difficult news.

Difficult news maybe that someone was going to struggle to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What is the creative way that you

delivered difficult news to someone?

Maybe those giant blow up letter balloons.

I'm pregnant.

That's expensive.

I'm pregnant.

And I'm 16.

You wouldn't get the pay me, am I?

Yeah.

You just double-sided tape them to the wall or something.

100%.

1,800 dals a day is our number.

Give us a call.

You can text through 9696.

What is the creative way that you

delivered some difficult news?

There is a woman who announced to her parents

that she was becoming a stripper.

And she did it via a PowerPoint presentation.

And you know what?

It worked.

So I want to hear that.

We wanted to know the creative ways that you delivered

maybe some difficult news.

So for you, you had some difficult news

to tell your parents that you didn't

want to go to Outward Bound.

So you also did this.

I did, yeah.

Morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Well, I haven't had a long time listening to you.

We get the bell.

Yay.

So you were like, I don't want to go to Outward Bound.

So you had to break the difficult news to your parents.

So what was in this PowerPoint presentation?

Honestly, it was probably like 15 years ago now.

And I heard all the terrible stories

about having to go and sleep in the bush by yourself.

And that scared me.

So I pulled my parents into a formal living room.

We gave a full-on PowerPoint presentation.

I love that.

I shouldn't have to go.

Yeah.

Also, I want to know why you had to go in the first place.

Because when I was a teenager, Outward Bound

was where you sent your child if they

were being a little shit, basically.

Yeah.

And I was a straight A student.

But I was quite a forward-thinking parent.

And they wanted me to go for the mindset stuff

to be able to know that you can do anything in life.

And it helped.

But I won't admit it.

I just cursed their name the whole time.

Yes, never admit your parents were right.

They know that you must never utter those words.

Outward Bound always sounded so much fun.

I would have loved to have gone.

Oh, no.

Yeah, it's not when you're a little factored

and you don't like running.

So it's that way.

They had on their hands.

They had on their hands a well-behaved straight A student.

But they wanted a more rounded.

Excuse the pun, because you were a little fatty.

But they wanted a more well-rounded student

that would not be scared to tackle

challenging areas of life.

Yes, and I'll tell you what.

It works, because I've lost 60 kilos now.

So.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, wow.

And do you love the outdoors?

Do you like, do you go on hikes?

I do, and I love the outdoors.

I go hiking almost every weekend.

Oh, my gosh.

There you go.

Somebody just said, Outward Bound's Haley,

these days is a leadership experience.

They realized they were sending the ratbags and they were.

Oh, my God, they re-framed it.

They re-framed the whole experience.

Sophie, thanks for sharing.

I think Sophie should be our caller of the week, too, as well.

Oh, totally, Graham.

It's got nothing to do with the bag that is Friday,

and we forgot about it for the rest of the week.

I think you're an inspiration.

You are.

So you've got a $50 Mitt Cafe voucher.

Thanks to our mates at Mitt Cafe.

Thank you so much.

Have a great day.

All right, you too.

You have a great life.

Look at the manners on this woman.

She learned that it Outward Bound.

So I'm sending both of my children and Fletch to Outward Bound.

Oh, my God.

You need better manners, too.

You have your tics coming through.

Good Lord.

I love this.

I'm so tickled by these stories of how you creatively

broke some difficult or bad news to people.

Yeah, this is great.

Well, a girl with her parents broke the bad news.

Well, difficult news.

Well, the difficult news, she was becoming a stripper.

And obviously, that's not the career they envisioned for her.

Exactly.

Emma, good morning.

How was it?

You had a PowerPoint presentation just the other day.

I did.

My 14-year-old and her friend had built it up,

told me they had something they wanted to tell me

and discuss with me.

And they wanted to both be in the room.

And I was like, oh, they're coming out.

Oh.

They're coming out.

And that's fine.

But I was like, OK, I've just got to handle versus.

It's OK.

Whatever they're going to present, it's going to be OK.

They're 14.

They kind of crashed a car.

Everything was going to our head.

And anyway, the night came, we sat down.

We couldn't Chromecast.

It didn't go the way they planned.

And the Chromecast wasn't working.

Oh, the Chromecast was working.

The Chromecast spanner in the woods.

The Galaxies.

Anyway, I said, can I just see it?

Can you just share it with me?

No, no, no, we're going to read it.

We're going to read it line each.

Yeah.

OK, that sounds good.

This is the title was, why we want to go to Palmerston North?

Oh.

And you were like, no.

I thought they were wanting.

No more.

I thought it was going to be.

No child of mine is going to want to go to Palmerston North.

I thought it was.

I thought they want to go to Australia.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be tattoos or piercings.

Yeah, totally.

Or pregnancy or something.

It was worse.

It was so much worse.

To be a credit, they want to go on their own and they're only 14.

They've even hiked a link to near B&B.

What?

Hell no.

What are they doing in Palmerston North?

Oh, they just won't.

We live in Wellington, but we live slightly north.

And why can I?

No, I don't trust them.

I don't trust them.

Don't do it.

To look at the shops.

No, don't do it.

Don't do it.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know about this.

I was a teenager.

I was a teenager at Palmerston North.

I used to fly up to Auckland to go to Big Day Out.

And some of my friends were allowed to go on their own.

And I cannot tell you the things we did in those hotel rooms.

I cannot tell you.

Don't let them go.

Don't let them go.

I trust the children.

It's the other people I don't trust.

Yeah, Emma, thank you.

Jonah, how did you break the difficult news?

Morning, guys.

Morning.

So when I was at university, I was sort of coming out to my friends,

making the rounds.

But I hadn't quite nailed the I'm gay sort of phrase.

Yep.

So with one of my friends, I just showed her my Instagram

Discover page.

And I mean, they'll tell you everything you need to know

about a person.

Yeah, the shirtless naked men kind of was.

Yeah, I imagine your discovery page looks a bit similar to mine

to be fair.

Yeah, a lot of Jess and my mom.

Exclusively.

Well, no, yeah, we don't know what Jonah's into.

Because you're into giant dudes.

Jonah might be, he might be, you know, like the big boys.

Yeah, I mean, I would say I probably don't have a type,

but you know, all the men, all the men in the world.

All the men.

Me too.

All the men in the world.

Jonah, amazing.

Thank you.

OK, I tried to write this down.

It's only three lines.

Hey, hey, it's only three lines.

Good luck.

Good luck to you, sir.

Thank you.

Oh, I got an absolute.

From one broadcaster to another, thank you.

Pile on in the group chat yesterday.

One of our group chats that is a big friend group.

Yeah.

This is a friend group that all went to New Plymouth.

Yeah, for Hailey's show and Fletcher's birthday.

Yeah, all great friends.

Yeah.

Oh, beautiful group.

Yesterday in a group chat titled New Plymouth Weekend,

it was brought to my attention that Fletcher's very nice bathroom

has been used on a dating app by a user of said dating app

as a sexy backdrop for a tasteful nude.

This is brought to my attention.

It's a topless nude.

It's a topless.

It's a nude.

No, you can see heading down.

But you can.

Yeah, but you can't.

It's either.

You can see there's not a tasteful nude.

You know, they're naked, but you can't see the whole Shabumba.

Yep.

Look at the whole.

You're not getting that.

Shabumba.

There's no Shabumba.

There's no Shabumba.

No Shabumba.

There's a couple of Shabang bangs.

So this photo.

But no Shabumba.

This photo pops up in the group chat.

Oh my God.

And the pylon is beautiful and immediate.

It's a friend in my bathroom.

Some of it nods to me during a photo shoot.

Yeah.

There's been a photo shoot in my bathroom.

You do have a nice bathroom.

The mirror in your bathroom.

It's stunning.

It's like a ring light.

Yeah.

When we did our bathroom, we wanted to put that mirror in.

It was a close call, but it just wasn't within our budgets.

It was such a nice app.

And it fogs.

It doesn't fog up.

It doesn't fog up.

It's going to eat a bill.

It's going to ring light.

It's lovely.

So another friend was perusing dating apps.

Searching for love.

Searching for love.

Is that a one-hour love?

Good luck to him on his search for love.

Searching for love or a one-hour love?

Oh, Fletcher.

Dear you.

He's sold to the earth.

I didn't say he was.

I didn't say he wasn't.

He's a good boy.

He's a good boy.

Yeah.

And then he's like, I think I recognize this bathroom.

It sends the photo to the group.

And we're all just like, I said, when I got it, I was like, man, that looks like Fletcher's

bathroom.

And Shaddy's like, you dickhead.

It is Fletcher's bathroom.

100%.

Ah!

Pylon.

The group.

It was one of those group chats where I was like, ding, ding, ding.

I was doing something at the time and my phone was just like, meh, meh.

Do you know what?

I even wonder if this photo was taken when I was drinking with the producers.

I think that could have happened previously.

I think that could have happened pre an event that we were going to.

Really?

This photo could have just been taken in the bathroom while we were in the lounge.

I feel like that's where it happened.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow way.

Yeah.

We were all hanging out and, you know, actually, is this when I was there?

Yes.

Yeah.

Who's still?

I think he just popped in and just was like, God, I'm feeling good today.

He thinks I'm for a sexy photo shoot.

It's a good lighting.

It's good lighting.

It's a nice time.

You're going to relight in your bathroom.

Yeah.

You can do makeup tutorials.

Yeah.

That's when it's taken.

Do you know the funny thing is someone else sent me this photo to on Monday?

Really?

Oh my God.

This is a very easy spot bathroom.

Yeah.

It's a great bathroom.

It's a great bathroom.

It's a lovely bathroom.

Well, I mean, it's a perfect backdrop for a photo.

In fact, now looking at this photo once again, next time I'm having a show, I might take some snaps.

Because there's a mirror and then on the other wall, there's another mirror.

So it kind of creates that infinite space vibe.

Yeah.

It's like an infinite loop.

Yeah.

It's very gram-worthy.

Oh, absolutely.

I'm going to do a shoot in here.

We should all do a shoot in here, actually.

Do you think so?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, thanks for the pile on.

Appreciate it.

It was a big pile on.

There's other aspects of the pile on that can't be mentioned here.

Look, some things we have to say for off air.

I think it might be my favorite pile on of 2023.

I'm just going to say, I know we've got a few months to go.

Yeah, we do.

We've had some classic pile-ons this year.

We've got a quarter of the year left.

Don't call it too early.

I'm going to pencil this one as my pile-on of the year.

Okay, great.

Look, I'll be the first person to admit that I've had relations with some people that perhaps

I wouldn't choose during the daytime, but at nighttime with a few bevvies on board.

Perhaps my view has been skewed and I've gone for it.

And you always, I'm not the only one.

I'm just the one brave enough to say it.

But you always blame the bear goggles.

You're like, oh man, you are so much more attractive.

Bear goggles.

Yeah, you do.

The bear goggles on.

Yeah, or the Prosecco goggles.

Yeah, yeah, the Prosecco spectacles.

The vodka cruiser goggles.

Vodka Cruiser.

The vodka cruiser contact.

Yeah.

There you go.

Well, researchers were like, I wonder if beer goggles is actually a thing.

If something, the effects of alcohol actually impact the way in which you see people.

Okay.

The way in which you see someone and their attractiveness changes.

Myth.

Really?

And booze makes you less fussy and all.

Like you eat things when you booze that you wouldn't eat when you're sober.

It's just everything.

You do that.

Yeah.

You drop your standards.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All around the board.

Okay.

I don't want to sit down normally and eat a liter of yogurt, but you know.

Yogurt.

Yogurt's your...

No, no, no, no, I'm just saying there was a time where I was hungry and there was nothing.

So I ate yogurt until I was full.

Don't eat yogurt until you're full.

No, it's not a food to fill you up, is it?

No, no, no.

It's a treat.

It's a treat.

It shouldn't be the only thing you eat until you're full.

Right.

Well, this research, this really serious research, and I'm glad they took the time actually to

debunk the myth of bear goggles, revealed that, I mean, all it's doing is increasing your

likelihood of approaching someone that you find attractive.

So even if there's like, if you think about someone you've slept with or whatever, that

you're like, oh God, there's our quality in them that you find attractive.

The booze loosens you up that makes you a bit chatty-cathy and makes you kind of approach

them.

And as you say, you know, you're hungry, you'll eat anything.

Yeah.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're just less fussy.

So it's not, yeah, it's not, it's not that I'm seeing them as more attractive, I'm just

hungry.

Yeah.

And I'll eat anything.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's all that booze is doing.

It does not in any way skew how you see someone or their attractiveness, or increase their

attractiveness.

And then you see them like, oh my God, it just makes you hungrier to the point that you'll

eat anything.

How did researchers, they just go out on a Friday, Saturday night and just hang out

with people?

No, I mean, no, I mean, that was part of the research.

They actually looked at like brain activity, you know, like, is anything actually chemically

changing as well?

Right.

Straight up, no.

Perception, a perception of attractiveness does not get skewed when you drink.

Okay.

So you cannot now blame beer goggles for any mistakes at the weekend for that guy in the

mood who won't leave.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, yeah, I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Now today's aspect of the day is about wind because I was challenged to make it wind week

on Tuesday.

It's not a challenge, it's officially wind week, you know, as, as dictated by us.

I mean, what's that with our facts?

Okay.

I could have done a full week.

What is it?

What week is next week?

Have we decided?

Honey Badger Week.

Honey Badger Week.

Okay.

Honey Badger Week.

Fantastic.

I'm excited.

Honey Badger, one of the greatest animals we've ever lived.

Yeah.

That ever will live.

Please.

No disrespect to the Honey Badger.

At this time.

Yeah.

On the, on the, on the penultimate days before Honey Badger Week here.

Save your love and admiration for next week.

Next week.

Honey Badger Week.

So, um, you'll remember we've heard multiple times from RAF Squadron Leader and fighter

race, uh, Gil Worthington, uh, who is a pilot that flies for an airline that wants to remain

anonymous in both name and employment.

Fantastic.

So we gave him this, uh, fictitious World War II fighter pilot, Alias.

Okay.

He then has hit me with some more.

Oh my God.

Wind.

But this one's Skywy.

Skywy.

This one's Skywy.

Is it Skywy?

And if people already have a flight foe beer, I feel like this will nothing but aggravate

the situation.

Oh, I'm excited.

But I don't hear it.

I could talk about the windiest place on earth and where the highest wind speed has

ever been recorded.

Oh, okay.

You do that one.

And then just hit us with the side scary fact.

Right at the end.

Because it's Wind Week.

We want all the wind we can handle.

It is Wind Week.

Well, uh, a full wind fact today, I thought I would go and find the windiest place on

earth.

Wellington.

So Wellington's like in the top five.

Yeah, it is.

But it's not the windiest.

No, it's not.

Chicago.

Because they call that the Windy City.

The Windy City.

Chicago's not even on there.

Oh, no.

Where is it?

I remember this because I'm on Wellie Proud.

And when someone takes a title from us, I'm always like, yeah, it's somewhere in like,

like Siberia or Gale 4 speed wins are recorded 233 days of the year in Wellington.

What?

Yeah, bro.

My God.

I'd call in sycophiles of pilot and they're like, you go to Wellington today, but like

Sorry.

I got the black lung.

We're going in sideways.

So it always has a high wind.

But the Guinness Book of World Record and National Geographic Atlas have listed Commonwealth

Bay and Antarctica as the windiest place on the planet.

Oh, that'd be a cold wind.

So regularly over 150 miles an hour.

Yeah, but they've got no apartment buildings to block the wind.

Nah.

They should pop some of those up.

Yeah, they should.

A couple of the walls.

Yeah.

A couple of hedges.

A couple of carpets.

Yeah.

Tree.

Some fast food outlets.

Tree and mall.

A Westfields.

A Westfields.

You get a Westfields and let it all slow in the wind down.

At any given time, the average wind can be expected to be 50 miles an hour.

Oh, wow.

So 80 odd kilometers an hour, which is a hell of a breeze.

Yeah.

A hell of a breeze.

That'd lift up your frock, wouldn't it?

It would tear your umbrella inside out.

You'd know about it, Wellington.

The highest recorded wind speed on Earth ever was in Australia.

Oh.

Yeah.

Whereabouts?

It was during a tropical cyclone.

Cyclone Olivia, 1996, on Barrow Island in Australia.

And as Cyclone Olivia smashed down on them in 1996, the wind speed got up to 407 kilometers

an hour.

Oh, my God.

That's kilometers an hour.

That is insane.

Yeah.

What would that even do?

What would that even be?

So that's what I looked up, like your descriptions of wind.

Yeah.

What it would be.

So just to put it in miles, because it seems like weirdly, wind is measured in miles more

than kilometers around the world, which I've done my head in.

I don't know how miles works.

What is it equate to?

1.6 kilometers is one mile.

Right.

So the speed they reached was 253 miles an hour.

Now, if you look at an estimated wind chart, if you go to 13 to 18 miles an hour is what

is known as a moderate breeze, the wind will move branches, raise a little dust, and loose

paper off the ground.

That's good for the washing.

Great for the washing.

Really good for the sheets.

Let's go up to the Beauford number 7, 32 to 38 miles an hour, whole trees in motion,

inconvenience felt when walking against the wind.

Okay.

Now, the wind that they recorded was 10 times that.

The highest one they do is over 75 miles an hour, severe and extensive damage, roofs

can be peeled off, windows can be smashed, trees are often uprooted, RVs and small mobile

homes will be overturned, and driving automobiles can be pushed off the road, and over 75 miles

an hour, and the highest wind was 253.

Oh my goodness.

Oh my goodness.

So nothing would survive.

It would be like an atomic blast.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was so strong that they couldn't even validate the reading for 14 years, because that can't

be right.

Equipment must have been wrong.

Must have been.

And then it got.

Dad's weather station must be wrong.

Must be wrong.

Must be wrong.

Yeah.

Must be wrong.

So the limit of blowing earth that's been recorded is 407 kilometers an hour.

And what about the pilot fact?

What's our pilot fact today about when we did my pilot fact?

One of the reasons they don't fly through thunderstorms is something called microbursts,

which is an extreme sound good extreme downdraft, which can all of a sudden make wind forced

straight down at over 100 miles an hour, which is okay a lot, which can cause a rate

of descent of 6,000 feet a minute.

If they were coming into approach with 1,500 feet off the ground, so two minutes before

they actually touched down and they had a microburst, it would take 15 seconds for that

plane to be smashed straight into the ground.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's cool.

That's awesome.

That's I told you it was Skyway and you still wanted to hear it.

And the fact that even if they get through that, the tailwind created by when the wind

hits the ground and goes out can increase this plane speed by up to 100 miles an hour

because it's a tail speed.

So you're coming to land all of a sudden.

It's just like jetpack.

What?

I told you it was Skyway.

I can't wait to head to the airport after that.

If I run a little prop plane down to Christchurch from Toto.

Toto, I'm going to Christchurch.

No, it'll probably be a big enough plane and I'll be safe and fine and make it.

Yeah, you'll be fine.

You'll be fine.

Yeah.

It's looking like clear skies.

I think it'll be a beautiful view.

Oh yeah, you'll get a beautiful view.

But just think about those downdrafts.

I will.

Keep them in the back of your mind.

Yeah.

I will.

So here's the fact of the day as the highest wind speed ever recorded was in Australia

during a hurricane and it reached 407 kilometres an hour.

Fact of the day day day day day.

I do to do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

Well, they said they were going to come and get you and they came and got you.

Uh, if you wrongfully took the COVID wage subsidy

Or I had to pay some of it back or took more than you should have

Well, they've caught one guy, uh, but I will say

There was nothing subtl about this. So I think you don't say the

The you hit the B sub subtl subtl about this

Uh, a man made multiple applications for COVID-19 wage subsidies for his company

And got $196,000 worth of subsidies

Sorry?

Yeah, $196,000 worth of subsidies for his employees

Of course

Of which he had none

Oh, dear

Uh, there was no employees

Yeah

According to the bank statements, uh, that was looked into

Yeah

$75,000 was paid to contractors during the period

And $18,000 went into his personal bank account

The remaining money, uh, if you're doing quick maths

$75,000

$193,000 was spent

Carried the one

Yeah, I carried a big old one

Did he carry the one?

Sorry, I haven't told him yet

$100,000

Roughly $100,000 remained

Yep

The remaining money was spent on company and personal use, including online gambling, adult entertainment clubs and fast food

That's all tech, that's all company expenses

That's it

That's what it is

Yeah, $20 on the

I don't know if it is

$20 on the

What do I code that for?

As a claimant back

We were joking off here, this guy did not learn

Like we all learned that valuable life lesson

Spending your course-related costs

Joe, because I know

On nothing

I would spend money every year of my degree

And then they'd be like, you need to buy this

And I'm like, I don't have any money, man

And they're like, would you use your course-related costs?

And I was like, I took a holiday to India, I can't

I don't have that

That's gone

Hey, I know it

That money's gone

Like most of us boost away our course-related costs

And you went to India on a holiday

Yeah, I did

The other years I boosted away

And I think I bought a nice frock

Okay, right

Because I worked in the clothing store

I had someone at, when I was at

Whatever I did that passed for university

They said, can you write a letter saying that

I bought a computer off you for $995

Okay

And I was like, okay

Country boy

In the big smoke

Yeah

Nah, hey, boy

Hey, I do

I'm going to use my best ride

And tell them you bought one of them

And their computer's off me

And I did it and I was like, okay

And then I got real nervous and freaked out about it

And then one of my mates prank called me

Pretending to me

Oh my god

Can I just have some more questions about this computer?

I was like, how much

I'm going to try to answer your question

As long as I can, sir

But I don't know too much

But I didn't even tap a tap a couple of boxes

But yeah

And I was just like, what the hell are people doing?

Because it was all

Yeah

New to me that people were

Yeah, getting it out and saying

Oh, it's for books

And they're $1,000 or not

This guy with the

You just get all this free money

And you're like

Well, just spend it

But I mean it different

You pay back your cost-related costs

Whereas this guy wasn't having to pay back

He was fraudulently ripping off

But cost-related costs

You pay back your cost-related costs

In your late 30s, 40s

You know

Yeah

19-year-old Hailey doesn't give a toss

About 33-year-old Hailey

They had to pay that off

No

That sounds like a 30-something problem

Yeah

Should be rich by then, right?

And this is a question we wanted to ask

What did you actually spend your cost-related costs on?

Great

We don't want to hear about spending it on books and a laptop

That's because that's related

Yeah, you losers

We want the unrelated cost-costs

That you spent the money on

It got hard, right?

I think they cracked down on it

Yeah, quite a lot

They just deposited $1,000 into my account

At the top of every year

I loved it

And you went to India

And I went to India in my new dress

How'd you get to India for $1,000?

No, I saved other money

But they contributed towards that

Yeah, right

Okay

Okay, $1,800 at MSNumber

You ticked us as well, $9,696

What did you spend your cost-related costs on

That was not related to your course?

We want to know this morning

What you spent your course-related costs on

That weren't course-related

Like, not actually books

What did you spend them on?

Like, Haley went to India on a holiday

Must be nice

I was learning over the other

Were you?

I was learning

Yeah

Kara, what did you spend course-related costs on?

Kara is gone

Yeah, no, she's back

She's back

God, I thought you died, Kara

Oh, God

Kara, are you alive?

Not that we're just going to come to the show

We'll have the undead

We'll have the undead on the show

Yeah, we will

A lot of radio shows are undead listeners

A lot of radio shows are too scared to have the undead

On the show

Because the undead often do have some opinions

And we're not afraid of that

Let's go to Sharn

Sharn, what did you spend course-related costs on?

I spent them on a trip to the Ed Sheeran concert

Yeah

Well spent

So, yeah, can we justify this?

What did you study?

I'm studying nursing

Yeah, well, music is therapy

Yeah, no, yeah

And you could have been there to treat someone in the crowd

If they'd fallen over

There you go

There you go

Just trying to justify that

Sharn, thanks for your call

Steven, what did you spend course-related costs on?

Hey, good morning, guys

Long time, listen, I'm first on call

I'm sick of it for the morning

Sick of it for the morning

Yeah

Welcome, welcome

Welcome

I bought a blower valve for my car

And a razor scooter

Oh my god, is that one of those things, guys?

A razor scooter

Not even motorized

What did you need a razor scooter for

If you had a car with a blower valve?

I might have had a razor scooter

And was doing tricks in the driveway

And I thought, I reckon I could do better tricks than that

Yeah, right

And then save some ladies for the rest of us, though

Oh my god

For a razor scooter

You had me a blower valve

Steven, thank you

I keep your messages coming through 9-6-9-6

What did you spend your student loan course-related costs on?

Someone said, as a lawyer, I'm terrified

I'm about to hear a client admit to fraud

Student loan fraud on the radio

But hopefully that doesn't happen

Somebody else said, my mate built a drift car

And then put a funded by study link banner on the windscreen

Oh, you little shite

You little little blow off valve

All right, we'll get to it

More next thing

What you spent your course-related costs on

That weren't course

Some role-related

Some great messages through

I spent my horse

Horse-related on a saddle

No, a course-related cost on a horse

So I spoiled my jokes

I was not going to say that

I guess you could say it was horse-related costs

Oh, we stuffed the whole set up

And then I sort of came in and wrote it as well

Do you want to start again?

And everybody listening can just pretend that you didn't

Would that be really nice?

Yeah

Can you do a Fleece Vaughn and Haley again?

Okay

See Dan, Fleece Vaughn and Haley, that was the song

We're talking about what you spent your course-related costs on

Oh, are we?

Yeah

Or for people who own horses, horse-related costs

But I was going to...

Do you know what I mean?

Like saddles and stuff

Somebody messaged in that they used their...

They were studying engineering and they used their course-related costs

To buy a horse, I guess you could say

Oh, so it's horse-related costs

I guess you could say it was...

Horse-related costs!

That was a really good joke, Haley

Well, I'm a comedian

I'm on tour as a comedian right now

So I'm firing off all cylinders

See Haley at a town of Sydney near you soon

We're not seeing more than a year with horse jokes

Horse-related costs

He's not coming up with any of them

That's why it doesn't come up with jokes

Just read the texts and we'll do the jokes

Just got a horse-related costs

Yeah, it's good

Yeah, you don't have to repeat my joke, bro

Everyone heard it

Horse-related

Come on, Vaughn

Haley made this joke already

Read the texts, man

I've got more jokes

Of course

Yeah, come on

Yeah, you don't please don't explain my joke

It stands for itself

I spent my course-related costs on tickets to Snoop Dogg

And Ice Cube in the Up and Smoke Tour in 2003

Money well spent

Money well spent

You were telling a historical event

Ice Cube, man, cool

That would have been a great concert in 2003

I used my last round of course-related costs on a PS5

Technically speaking, I still haven't paid for it

Hashtag Girlmats

Oh, yeah

Yeah, I mean, you've done that there

We were 16 and 17

But my daughter's dad and I spent them on Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Is that...

Is that...

It's nerd stuff, yeah

Yeah, right

Yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Is that Dragon Ball Z?

No

But you know what, thanks for trying

Is that Pokemon?

Thank you

It's no

Why are you hitting the E in Pokemon?

It's Pokemon

Pokemon, it's not a Pokeball

No, you get a Pokemon adjacent

Because it's Pokeball, Pokemon

Too many big beans in a Pokeball

I don't want your bad lot of big beans

I don't want too much rice and too many beans

Don't put big beans on top of weird cabbage and salad

Yeah, more meat

Yeah, more meat, please

Somebody said I spent my course-related costs on a machine

That led me to talk to other people and dashes and beeps

I guess you could say it was more-related costs

Don't...

Excuse me, there's one comedian on this show

Also, did that text even come in?

No

I don't think it did

I think he made a text

Yeah

That's desperate for...

Yeah

All that's coming across is quite desperate

I am desperate for my course-related costs

On condiments to be put on my food

Mostly in liquid form

I guess you could say it was source-related costs

Sorry, Fletch

I've actually got the text machine open

I'm happy to do jokes and texts if Vaughn can't handle either

Do a couple if you want

Yeah, absolutely

Oh, don't be mean to Vaughn guys

Who's big funny?

That's the text that just came in

Sorry, Vaughn

Spent all my course-related costs on strength or energy

as an attribute of physical action or movement

I guess you could say they were force-related costs

I think we're going to leave the show there for the week

I think we'll leave the show for the week now

Friday, Jen

I spent all my money on a yellow-flowered shrub of the pea family

The leaves of which are modified to form spines

Native to Western Europe and North Africa

But considered in New Zealand to be quite an invasive pest

Do you know that I...

Gorse-related costs

Okay, that's good, that's good, that's good

You

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.