ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st September 2023

NZME 9/1/23 - Episode Page - 1h 20m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Fleece Vaughn and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McAfay coffee with My Mac's Rewards.

Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleece Vaughn and Haley

in an era's tour movie.

Does Taylor Swift need any more money?

You can never have enough.

No.

I think you can.

Oh, yeah, I mean, wow.

To me, once it gets to a billion, I'm just like...

Oh, yeah, totally. Get a grip.

More tickets today.

You're going to be listening at 8 o'clock

for that Taylor Swift song, Midday and 4

by the first caller through this afternoon

with PJ and Maddie to win that pass.

You're on the road, Haley, you've been hit up for tickets.

Oh, my God, I arrived in Tauranga yesterday

and checked in and the girl was like,

look at me and I was like, okay,

well, maybe she recognises me because I'm mega famous.

And then as I checked in, I was like,

I know, can I get some Taylor Swift tickets?

It's like, no, babe.

Well, you just had some in your purse or something.

Yeah, sure, here you go.

Here you go.

Fletcher's the only one that works for the show

with the Taylor Swift tickets.

He's in charge of the Taylor Swift tickets.

Have you ever seen Fletcher in public?

By all means, hit him up for Taylor Swift tickets.

He has the physical tickets.

He's in charge of all of them.

And I've even got some spares as well.

So many, so many.

This weekend, if you see Fletcher,

that's what you've got to do.

I'm open to bribery.

Cash moneys.

Cash moneys or cakes.

Yeah, right, cash moneys.

Lamingtons.

Guys, I wish you guys were here

because, honestly, the sun's dead.

Sunrise?

Oh, sorry, sunrise.

Pond, it's the morning, darling.

Wait, where am I?

What about the moon?

The super moon.

Oh, my God.

I don't have a moon.

I don't have a moon, but I've got a beautiful sunrise

over the ocean in Tauranga.

And when it came up last night.

Yeah, she's a beauty.

I kept waking up through the night

thinking the security light was on,

but it was just the beaming moon.

The beaming moon.

The moon.

Maybe she'd get some bed of curtains.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I do.

We had to solve.

Because we got rid of our bedhead.

Oh, yeah.

So we don't have a bedhead.

Why don't you have a bedhead?

Too much bedhead.

Oh, yeah, man.

Leave it to the dead on the wall.

Yeah.

Lads, lads, lads.

Lads.

Oh, man.

Give me the neighbourhood away.

I'm guessing it was more that

it wasn't aesthetically pleasing.

It was.

No, and we just upgraded the size of our bed.

Oh, yeah.

We just didn't get a bedhead.

Right.

So, yeah, our heads a little

close to under the high window.

Oh, OK, right.

So I catch the light

sneaking under that curtain.

A bedhead should take care of it.

OK, OK, right.

Gorgeous.

OK, coming up on the show,

the top six is a new trend.

This is the dumbest.

This is I read this one.

Oh, my God.

It's just angry.

Yeah, it's called silent walking.

silent walking which is just going for a walk without like it's silent without

headphones but it's not silent it's just walking it's walking this is how my

mother this is what my mom calls walking but I guess it's that so many

people walk now with headphones yeah treat to walk without them you go oh

my god well the top six will delve into this and other trends yeah top six names

for things that are just things like silent walking is just going for a walk

next on the show though yesterday we had an ad for the Electoral Commission

Electoral Electoral yeah syllables in that every election I was encouraging

people to vote in roll to vote in roll to vote and all you needed was your driver

license hmm which one's right yeah there's a driver license some grammar some

England next on the show yesterday when we were doing a radio program we

play ads because ads pay the bills bitch they don't say that no don't that's quite

aggressive that's yeah yeah yeah they paid the bills maybe they paid the bills

baby it was an ad for the for enrolling to vote for the upcoming election yeah

and it said all you need to do it was ID like your driver license and I was like

we were all a bit like that doesn't sound right yeah I was like he's misread

that he should be drivers license driver's license it's you need your

driver's license yeah yeah because it's the license of the driver yeah it is the

driver's license but is that a specific but then when you are referring to a

specific driver you can do the possessive license but when it's a sweeping

possession it doesn't need the possessive apostrophe is no because but we

still all own them you know what I mean let me it's the driver's license let me

get out of my man purse it's not Velcro it sees on the top look New Zealand

driver license right they're missing an east in an apostrophe what about the

song I got my driver license you'd be like Olivia Olivia it's my driver's

license can I go like an American a Californian driver's like American it

says drivers or oh no that's so it always says this is drivers versus drivers but

one's possessive and one's not which is correct there's like drivers possessive

is always the correct spelling that can indicate official identification well

let's check Olivia Rodrigo's song how she spells out Olivia who I'm loving at

the moment by the way no she spells it with no she just rams an S on the end

with no possessive apostrophe but I'm arguing whether it's driver or driver's

license I just lost a little bit of it should drivers possessive ever wanted

license it's called a driver license it's very awkward to say like that doesn't

everybody else just say drivers license this is a question on a language

English language and usage page yeah that's it we've found a California it

just says California driver license yeah they all seem to like this it should say

drivers I'm upset by this actually quite deeply I don't even care if it's got an

apostrophe or not I just want an S on it no I need the apostrophe the possessive

apostrophe seeing it written driver is just describing what kind of license it

is not whose license it is other examples would be a bartender license but not

bartender's license if you were just to describe the type of license now on your

on your license just saying this is a driver license I got my pen license not

my pens license okay here you go I will present you now a UK driving license

driving they've got driving see I almost like that better I like that better

because it's a license to drive do you think it stopped this very argument

that we're having I reckon I reckon UK couldn't figure it out so they just went

okay we'll just say driving license yeah it does it says driving I got my

driving license last week that works right yeah she can do that in the UK

that works silly little poll is next on the show and today the big issue do you

use the toilet brush at work or are you just like it's work doesn't matter who

doesn't every other woman in our day today still a little poll do you use the

work or are you disgusting are you a monster everybody does it at home right

without fail right yeah it's your home thank yeah I live with some guys that

would be to do but when it comes to work for some reason and even and I'm gonna

say it I think females are the worst judging from what you and the other

females in the end the bill I can confirm women are the pets so like you in

our in our bathroom I think I've been so I've been saying it for years just in

general but you go into our bathroom and there's four stalls three standard ones

and one accessible yeah sometimes you'll go in and be like oh go to another one

be like God yeah just to find the one that you don't have to then take

responsibility for and not my splats not my splats because all the toilets have

a brush right all of them it's so bad when you go to a place and there's no

toilet brush I know I like hotels yeah hotels hate toilet how many times have

you wrapped a hole in a toilet paper around your hand flushed them before

it got your hand and then given that like the best I can't leave this for the

cleaners I simply won't leave my names on the booking I can't yeah so we asked

you when you're at work facility little poll today do you use the toilet brush

or are you like it doesn't matter I'm at work oh my god as guys I don't know if

women know this as guys if there's just a little bit of a skid we'll use our

powerful urine yes it off yeah we will it's a fun game it's a fun fire hose game

using one's penis anyway I don't know if you guys can do that as well no

blank blank looks from the producers yeah no fair enough to use the toilet

brush at work 59% nice said yes I do use the toilet brush at work 41%

we should have followed it up with is this different at home like then done it

at home oh because that's your problem to deal with later if you don't I think

so Rachel said if we had one I would but this fancy office I frequent has hourly

cleanings hashtag murica what hourly cleanings hourly but then it's a picture

American station America is different because the water goes right up to your

butt yeah yeah it's no skitties it just all floats there and then that's why

though yeah why they're techniques different right mmm Josh says yes and

so should ever announce as a person at my work who cleans the staff toilets it

would make my job much easier and less gross so to name a shame campaign if I

could if you know you had yeah rock hard evidence in the man if you've got rock

hard evidence of some names it's rock hard it's not leaving skid yeah now

bouncing around yeah maybe a float if you leave a skitter you want to be a

shame to yourself said Hannah yeah I've been told Hannah's spoken yeah Brittany

says only the office girls use it and it's too awkward if you leave any damage

yeah that's what although do you know what at our workplace because we're like

a five-story building I've seen people come up from like level two or three to

use the ground floor toilet that we use and then go back up to their office yeah

definitely come downstairs take a dump and then go back to your I know 100% you

can never tell who's leaving the you know who's the you know who started that

tradition of this company Leighton Smith really back host yeah really was he was

on after Hosni come down for an 830 dump he'd ever and he'd go back to dude yeah

it's a lot of Kiwi fruit dude it's not just as an opinions that was shit yeah

Jana says whoever said no is fair or clean up after yourselves I was a

cleaner for a while and some people are just effing disgusting yeah Abby says

no because I don't shit at work of one of those people you have to she has the

ultimate power we get up too early and then drink too much coffee to the night

you just have to just a diet right at just yeah Lane says no because our staff

bathroom is also a public toilet and I'm not paid enough to clean up everybody

else's residue as well your stuff is also the public toilet I'm so sorry for

that I'm so sorry yes always there is one woman who doesn't at my workplace

feral she is feral that's from SJ oh yeah feral I love that she knows the woman

who's leaving the squirts yeah they've identified that I feel sorry for the

females because you have to sit down regardless of one or two's hmm so you

yeah thank you for feeling sorry for us that really means something yeah I don't

there's other things I definitely feel sorry for you about but having to sit

like what a beautifully relaxing yeah wearing a brazier every day yeah that

that's looks like it sucks yeah sometimes yeah that's a little poll I was

expecting a song with a bit will pizzazz to take us out of that to be honest

God you really see that and I was like the volleyball went up and then someone

was like hey hey hey no ZM player ZM's flinch for the nail I've never knowingly

been cheated on which I've just sort of thought about yeah me all my boy all my

boyfriends kept it secret it's so nice of them yeah crafty men I genuinely don't

think I mean I haven't had that many boyfriends to be fair but I don't think

I've ever been cheated on but when I think about it you know like a lot of

people you read lots of articles and a lot of people talk about how they

exposed their partner yeah how they like caught them or called them out and

sometimes I think about I'm like yeah that'd be fun man I get real crafty but

then I probably wouldn't be devastated and really surprised and kind of

impressed with our do you know what I mean I'd be like good for you yeah because

you don't think he's just got it in him just organizational wise just on his

physical size alone sneaking would be sneaking would be hard and also as sort

of a like a tech illiterate man as well like texting secretly different apps he

doesn't know about the different apps yeah so he'd just be texting he sounds

like he sounds like a dream to cheat on to be honest maybe anyway there was this

woman right and she shared it all on tiktok it was like almost like a master

plan she discovered that her partner was cheating on her yeah she you know found

out and they had a big trip to Europe booked a nine week Europe trap so like

you they couldn't have called it off because it's all booked and paid for

booked and paid for oh yeah okay also you know when Europe's in your forecast

you need to get to Europe otherwise it's devastating yeah as a woman who was

cancelled a trip to Europe before yeah so she found out and was like okay well

I'm still gonna go in this trip and what she did is every destination she took a

picture of her partner but she had a little post-it note and she would write

on it a story that she then played out on tiktok in a video and each photo

revealed the story of how she discovered he was cheating and she would get him to

stand in front of landmarks all across Europe and hold up the post it don't be

like I'm taking a photo of you and in it the video is like I've been with my

partner for six months this this time he told me did I just discovered he's

cheating after this trip I'm gonna break up with him and the whole time it's

hashtag I know and then she put it all together in a video and it's just him

poor poor poor bastard it's just him like standing in front of these landmarks

smiling and her saying like he told me six months in that he loved me hashtag I

know he we moved in together and started planning for our future hashtag I know

and then it goes on and it's like he did all these little things then I

discovered so after this trip I'm breaking up with him and then she uploads

and seems it to him and the world and post women to see women God we're

twisted and so it's obviously over like what was to follow up from this I've

heard that that's a great way to save a relationship yeah and make them sort of

like weaponize them I've heard it's a very healthy way I mean you've tried

twice and you and Shaday oh my god yeah yeah we might need another one that's

why we keep getting more dogs and animals

patchwork

silent walking this is a tiktok trend look to be peddled by Gen Z and that is

it's just going for a walk the worst part is they've gone their phones like I'm

going for a silent walk it's like no no no you're on your phone immediately my

documenting your silent walk made your walk not silent now this isn't a walk

where you wear like noise-canceling headphones with nothing playing no that's

me I hate nature it's what it is it's going for a walk without headphones yeah

oh my god give me strength yeah it's going for a walk it is I will reiterate

once more it is just going for a walk so today's top six is the top six names

Gen Z have for things that we which is just how we used to do things number six

really sounds like you're a boomer yelling over the back fence because they

took a Mandarin I was not their Mandarin they would need my mandarins seeds in

them oh yeah okay do your mandarins have seeds I don't have I don't have

mandarins okay you've got 10 Jellos 10 Jellos oranges I got this other weird

sort of orange did you know who's going orange is out of you to see that video

I tagged you in where this girl peels her oranges cuts them into like quarters

freezes them and then gets them out and blends them like a apparel drink I mean

I've been I've been leading them fall on the ground and then Vorny comes over and

picks them up for the pigs and the pigs don't deserve no more you know no more

freezing good we're gonna have some frozen I've been giving my oranges to

the cows so much vitamin C why they haven't been catching cold no no that

jacked so the top six names Gen Z have for things which are just how we used to

do things number six on the list clackety typing that's just typing on an

old keyboard but according to Gen Z clackety typing is a new form of typing

that just really lets you feel the letters that you're typing and the impact

they may have on someone you know okay great that's good that's good stuff

number five on the list of the top six names are Gen Z have for things which is

just how we used to do things number five is daytime sleeping

horn that's a nap sleeping during daylight hours is a new form of

nighttime sleeping but it's traditionally when you're awake because you've got a

rest queen okay yeah yeah queen yeah queen number four on the list of the top

six names Gen Z have for things which is just how we used to do things manually

hand brushing your teeth on you just brushing your teeth on the electric

toothbrush I'm still doing it that way but manually hand brushing your teeth

takes the electricity out of your mouth and lets you get in tune with your teeth

like our ancestors did oh my god what yesterday August said to me they had a

choir thing she's like oh my god there was this woman at choir and she was like

wearing a denim top and a denim skirt like they did in the old days so we

called her 2006 Karen I was like for a start 2006 is not the old days oh my god 2006 is

not the old days and she's like you know no no wait wait like way back way back

like way back in like 2002 for encouragement that 2002 was any better

than 2006 I was like that's not the old days yeah is that why they call Hailey

nana his face or title

seriomba re on the list of the top six names Jen Z have for things

which is just how we used to do things phone free in-person communication

Hon, you're just having a conversation in person that's been done for a millennium, but phone-free

in-person communication, it takes the tech out of your already overloaded tech life.

It lets you communicate and establish a connection with someone in a physical manner.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, that's good for you.

Number two on the list are the top six names.

Gen Z have for things, which is just how we used to do things, are multi-family multi-food

meals.

Hon, you're describing a potluck dinner.

But multi-meal multi-food meals are great for the community feel and establishing group

dynamics.

It's how our ancestors used to do it.

They did, yeah.

Kia ora, kia ora.

And number one on the list are the top six names Gen Z have for things, which is just

how we used to do things, latex-free love-making.

Hon, that's raw-doggin.

But, and I will say it, you should only be doing that with someone you trust.

And Fletch, who can we trust?

Anybody.

Win.

Ever.

Full stop ever.

Gotcha.

Never trust anybody.

Full stop ever.

Just like our ancestors used to do.

Yes.

That's today's top six.

Last night.

Am I ready to talk?

Yeah.

Am I free to talk?

Yeah, you're free to talk, yeah.

York, you can talk whenever you want, don't let anyone ever tell you.

You can't.

Shut up, woman.

I'm just, I feel you're wrong.

Sorry, sorry.

I'll just mute, I'll mute.

Okay, that's a sign that I've married the right person at work and I've married the right

person at home.

Yeah.

Which leads me nicely onto last night was one of those moments where you're like, oh yeah,

I've married the right person.

Yep.

Shade, it was after dinner.

Yep.

I was on the computer doing fact of the day research and such.

Oh.

Because it's Windweek.

It's Windweek.

It's Windweek here at Fact of the Day.

I've got great Windfacts for you coming up.

Oh, yes.

By I heard from the pilot yesterday, you'll remember World War II fighter pilot.

Yes.

Gil Worthington.

Who gave you the fact of the day.

He gave me another fact of the day and it was so scary.

I was like, I can't tell people about that.

I won't get on planes.

Oh my God, no, shut up.

You have to give us that one.

It's about microbursts.

Maybe I'll give you that one as a little side fact.

A little taster.

And so I was doing that and Shade was sitting in the lounge folding some clothes and Seven

Sharp started.

Yep.

And this, this, this happened.

And Ali, how did the idea come about?

One night, my husband and I had been out for a few drinks.

He just kind of thought it'd be really cool if you could just get like a burrito out of

a hole in the wall.

So originally it was like burrito hole.

And then it just blew from there.

So she said, but without a few drinks, we went out and he wanted a burrito from a hole in

the wall.

So it started out as a burrito hole.

Now when she said burrito hole, we both literally went, burrito hole.

And that's when you knew that you married your soulmate.

That's when I knew that we're, you know, you need a little reminder every now and then

that you're married to the right person.

Wait, so you weren't, it wasn't even that you were like, oh, we both love burritos.

It was the term burrito hole.

It was the way the ladies say we went out for a few drinks and my husband said, wouldn't

it be good if you get a burrito from a hole in the wall?

So it started out as a burrito hole.

And when she said burrito hole, you both immaturely giggled burrito hole.

Literally like that.

Burrito hole.

Yeah.

You married your soulmate.

Yeah.

That's again, it's confirmation.

Yeah.

But man, I didn't want to want a breakfast burrito.

Breakfast burrito.

I'll just take any burrito.

I'll take a daytime burrito right now.

Breakfast burritos are amazing.

Breakfast burritos slap.

Because there's egg and there's bacon and there's, oh yeah.

There's no rules.

No rules.

What can go to burrito, breakfast burrito.

As long as there's, I think there's egg at the very least.

Yeah.

There's no rules in any burrito.

You could put carrot in there.

You could put.

I wouldn't put a squid in a burrito.

I don't like eating squid anyway because of the cephalopod.

Yeah.

They're too clever.

Yeah.

Squid burrito.

It's a hard no from me.

Yeah.

Says a guy who happily ate a pig.

Also clever.

I can't eat a squid.

It's too intelligent.

Play.

Presidents, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

It's the final rankings.

Final rankings.

We do this every Friday.

We rank different things.

Fight, we argue sometimes, don't we?

Do you know what we haven't ranked as FVH?

You know?

Obviously Hayley number one.

Is that what you want from this?

She needs number one more than us.

She needs it more than us.

Yeah, she does.

Yeah.

She needs a daily number one.

Oh my God.

Born, who's your number one?

You are.

Hayley.

Oh my God.

Well, there we go.

Okay.

Well, today's final rankings.

We're doing chip styles.

Yeah.

And this, I think we got onto this earlier in the week because I think I,

I think I said I detest.

Hates a strong word, but I detest.

Waffle.

No, crinkle-cut fries.

I've just got no time for them.

They're a classic.

Nothing says...

They're in the freezer.

A couple of new releases from United Video on a Friday night with a

No Frills pizza out of the freezer and chuck that in there on the

bottom rack, on the fries on the top rack.

And you've got to keep moving them around until some get crispy

and some don't and some seem barely cooked.

No.

It's straight.

It's straight-cut for me.

Straight-cut.

You mean like a fish and chip style?

We'll do a wedge, but straight.

I'd go straight.

Okay.

So they're...

You're doing just a standard chip.

Just a fish and chip, chip, chip.

A standard, yeah.

A standard fish and chip, chip.

Yeah.

There are waffle fries.

Waffle fries rule.

What about curling fries?

No, two...

Too much in a waffle fry and they go too crispy.

I think curly and waffle are just so pretentious.

Yeah, they are.

You see fries on a menu and you're like,

do we get curly fries?

I love curly fries.

I'm so excited.

And they always come with an aioli.

Yeah.

But I love curly fries at the start of the bowl,

but at the end, when you're picking weird little

last shapes out...

Yeah.

It's hard.

I mean, you've got your classic non-E shoe strings.

Yeah.

Shoes strings rule.

Which I love.

But, see, I love like a shoe string, say, from Mackers,

but when you do shoe string yourself at home...

No, you don't shoe string at home.

Yeah.

You don't shoe string at home.

Can you air fry a shoe string?

You wouldn't.

No, you wouldn't bother.

You wouldn't bother.

People scream about the air fry's ability to fry fries.

Yeah, but...

Are we going to add kumara chips to this?

No, because it's not the inside, it's the outside.

It's the style.

Okay.

But kumara couldn't do...

You couldn't do a kumara shoe string because they...

It wouldn't hold up.

Yeah, they're too sad.

Or a waffle or a curly.

Nah.

What about potato skins?

Are we going to do that?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

They know those rules.

Yeah.

Okay.

I think that's the top.

That's almost a different way of...

That's almost like counting a kumara, isn't it?

It's a different thing.

Yeah.

Do you think we include that or exclude?

No, I think we exclude it.

Let's exclude it.

Okay.

I mean, it's delicious and I don't want to take anything away from it.

Okay.

Well, I'm crossing it off my list.

I'm going to go...

Shoe string's number one.

Is it?

By a country mile.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

I love a shoe string.

Like a nonnies.

A nonnies or a pub shoe string or just any shoe string.

Remember in the nineties when bread was the base of the third pyramid?

So things was a little bit cooked.

They used to say that if you want to have a healthier fry, you get a bigger fry because

it's all about the surface area that the oil penetrates.

Yeah.

That's why shoe strings rule.

That's why they're so young.

It's because they've had full oil penetration.

What?

Yeah, I know.

It's a straight cut.

A long straight cut.

Beautiful.

More like your fish and chips.

Your Mr. Chips Chips.

Yep.

So good.

Mr. Chips Chips.

They are my number one.

I'm going to go shoe string number two and then number three.

What about a potato tornado?

What's a potato tornado?

They've got that machine and they wind it and it spirals it out and it goes on to us

along as different.

No, that's different.

It's too different.

No, that's different.

It just went into my head.

What about a steak cut?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, I think that goes south rules.

They say not a wedge.

Not a wedge.

I'd go a steak fry.

Because they're good.

They're like a wedge.

Bit of, you know, aioli.

Bit of strength to them so you can really get a bit of a chunky sort of a dip sauce on

those if you're using them in that manner.

Wait, are we doing tater tots?

No, that's different.

That's not a fry.

No, but it's potato.

That's a tot.

I mean, that number one across the board.

No, we've done ways to serve potatoes.

Yeah, we have.

That was taken care of when we did ways to.

Okay.

I just think you guys are mad.

Shoe string is number one.

Shoe string for me.

Shoe string number one.

Then I'm going to go a steak cut.

I'm going to jump all the way back to a big fat fatty.

And then I'll meet, I'm going to shove a crinkle in there.

So you are shoestring steak and crinkle.

Yeah, baby.

I'm going to go steak number one.

Because it's got steak in the title.

It's a flat edged wedge.

Yes.

It's a wedge.

Wedges are always, you know, in a wedge shape.

But these ones aren't.

They're just a fat.

They're just a big fat chip.

So that's my number one.

Number two is waffle fries.

I love waffle fries.

Yeah, but how often are you having a waffle fry?

Not very often, but that's why it's a treat.

But if it's there, I'll get it.

Now, what about a carrot cake?

If I see one on the menu, I have to get it.

That's my rule.

What about, uh, they're called cottage fries.

They're like a crinkle.

They're like a chip, a fat chip.

But they're like, can't with a serration, like a crinkle.

Go-gling, go-gling.

A cottage?

Nah.

Like this.

How would you describe that?

Like a potato chip, but it's a fat.

Oh, it looks like a huge chip.

It looks like a massive gherkin.

Yeah, it does.

Like how gherkins.

No, that's not a fry.

Potatoes thick cut on a corrugated slicer and fried.

Nah.

No, that's a slice.

That's a potato slice.

You're dangerously entering Tater Tot territory.

Now, is poutine?

No, no, no.

That's ways to serve fries.

That's ways to serve.

Okay.

So, Vaughn, did you find a rank?

Yes, I went steak, waffle, and then standard.

Wait, where's your shoestring at?

I didn't go shoestring.

Controversial.

Yeah.

Controversial.

But it is rent.

Shoestring grabbing at like a claw full of shoestrings.

Or like shoving them in the burger that you're having.

Yeah, and lots of salt on them.

When they're not salted.

They've got to be heavily salted.

Don't bother.

Sometimes chicken salt.

Okay, so who wins?

Final rankings.

Who's winning?

I'm going shoestring.

I think shoestring wins.

I think steak cut.

I think steak cut on your list.

I did steak cut.

I think steak cut wins.

Right.

I think steak cut fries.

Okay.

All right.

And then shoestring two.

And then what's three?

Just standard.

Standard fish and chips.

Yeah.

Fish and chips.

And no crank on the list.

That's the winner.

It's on my list.

It's on my list, and I will speak for them.

Yeah.

They get a lot of sauce in the grooves.

For me, it was fourth equal with shoestring.

They get a lot of sauce on the grooves.

Yeah.

That's what the rivets do.

Yeah.

They catch more sauce.

Scoopy up on the sauce.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Play ZM's Fletch Von Inale.

Yesterday, my fast walking got me in trouble.

I'm going to say again.

God, you sprint, dude.

You sprint.

Do you know this weekend I'm hopefully weather permitting

doing a little hike with some friends.

Oh, weather is not permitting.

Weather is not permitting.

I don't think weather is going to serve AA.

It's not the kind of fight.

It's not the kind of, I think, rain later in the day.

We don't mind a few showers.

It's not the kind of, we're not, you know, going into the alpine conditions.

Are you doing it for the gram though?

No, just for the fitness and...

Nature.

You know when you go out and there's lots of trees around you.

It's a silent walk.

Yeah, it's a silent walk.

But I don't, I feel like my friends haven't been hiking with me

before.

They don't know what they're in for.

Yeah.

You know, I did the Tongarea Crossing.

God, that was so slow, my friends.

So yesterday...

This is why you travel alone.

Yeah, it is.

Fast walk.

So yesterday, I went into a supermarket.

I won't say the name of the supermarket, but it's red and white.

I know.

Yeah, no, it could be anything.

It could be anything.

But I wasn't silent walking.

Like we mentioned earlier in the show, I had my noise-canceling headphones on.

I went in to get a drink, but I couldn't find the drink that I wanted.

So I'm just going to leave.

And I had my headphones in and I was walking to the train station.

And I heard this yelling over my headphones.

I was maybe like 50 metres outside of the store, outside of the supermarket.

And I turned around and there's a detective from the NYPD yelling at me.

New York Police Department.

He's got like the big badge.

You know, the big badges that they have.

I love those.

The big sheriff's badge.

The big, you know, like the shield.

It's the shield.

You know, they have the shield.

And that's his security.

Yeah, it's right on his thing, but it's his security.

Is he wearing a flak, like a stab-proof jacket?

Yep.

So he had his vest on and he kind of comes right, big kind of big, big guys kind of

comes over to me and I take my headphones out and he's like, oi, you didn't buy anything.

I was like, oh, I said, I didn't know you had to buy something.

Oh, you smart ass.

You smart ass.

That's the good answer though, because I am also unaware.

You must buy something should you enter a property.

Because when I walked down the supermarket, I just walked through an empty checkout and

I did have a backpack on.

And he was looking at me like I was a shoplifter.

Oh my God, because you've gone in and you're sprinting out.

Yeah, because I walk fast and I have like a bitchy resting face.

Doing a runner.

So I must look like a shoplifter.

What did he think you'd shoplifted?

For the second time in six months I've been accused of shoplifting from a supermarket.

Do you think it's racial profiling maybe?

So he said, I think it's, it probably is, yeah.

And I said, oh, do you want to look in my bag?

He's like, no.

And I was like, what do you want then?

Okay.

Like, do you want to kiss me?

Like what?

Do you want me to ask for my number?

What are we doing?

Oh my God, are we going to make out?

Yeah, cute.

And then he just looked at me and I was like, oh, do you want to look in my bag?

He's like, no.

And so I'm like, okay, we'll have a good day.

He's like, okay.

And then like, goes back to his supermarket.

I was like, what?

Like, I literally wasn't even in there that long.

Yeah, because you just went in and put something in your backpack and ran out.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

So that's the second time I've been accused of shoplifting in six months.

Because you walk late, you've just stolen something.

Because I walk out of supermarkets fast, like I walk everywhere fast.

Also, his eyes move side to side, like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Yeah, I just look shifty.

I must look shifty.

Do I look shifty?

Do you are a shifty fellow?

Shifty fellow.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

It's a bit shifty, our fledge.

These security badges, though, they look like actual detective badges, like...

What does it take to become a security guard?

I don't know.

Not that I'm thinking of doing that.

Like, I know that supermarkets are, like, absolutely under the pump at the moment.

I've seen, like, the most craziest people walk out of supermarkets with baskets of

gross reason.

Running.

Running, actually, stealing stuff and, like, staff getting abused.

I've heard...

Yeah, in my defence, though.

Yeah, they were being mean to her, so she had to.

But I've been in hardware store, a supermarket, and the warehouse, which I was going to try

to say department store, but over the loudspeaker, it's like, hey, you know how they do their

little, like, specials?

Specials and what having, like, little store announcements.

I've heard one in each one of those ones saying, please be kind to our staff.

Or, like, a message of...

I know.

I'm just like, what?

It's got to the point where they're constantly like, hey, if you're walking around, you might

be having a bad day, but remember, it's not our staff's fault.

Please don't scream at Barbara when she's scanning your items, if it's not exactly how

much she thought it was going to be.

Yeah.

That's sad to me.

Dude.

Yeah, be nice.

Be nice.

Be kind.

But what if they accuse you of shoplifting and you haven't shopped?

Absolutely.

Punch them.

Get there.

No, Hayley.

They...

Yeah.

They're just doing their job, but, like, I mean, just do it better is what I ask.

Like, I don't know.

Like, if you see someone...

Search the bag!

Like, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Or if you see them...

Don't search Fletcher's bag, dude.

Oh, yeah, you don't want to search my bag.

Or your bag, actually.

Oh, God, you probably put your finger in, like, bigger...

Wet chocolate puddle.

Oh, I don't think you can say that on the radio.

But...

You sure?

Play ZM's Fletcher for the Nailie.

Here today, we announce the Friday's live lineup.

JoJo joining Jackson Derulo.

Boys to Men.

Flowrider.

Callie Rowland.

Travis McCoy.

Baby Bash and more.

The tickets are on sale September 12.

All those details are at ZM online.

Well, we could do one better than just announcing she's part of the lineup for Friday's live

because she's joining us on Zoom.

Good morning, JoJo.

Hi, guys.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous?

Not that I forgot.

Guys, I can't see her on the screen.

I'm getting a light reflector.

Move so I can see this gorgeous woman.

Oh, my God.

Move the lights.

Oh, sweetie.

Oh, my God.

We're so excited to see you, JoJo.

When was the last time you were in New Zealand?

I've never been to New Zealand.

I've moved my mind.

Yo, this is bucket list stuff that I'm checking off the list.

I'm checking off the list.

I'm so excited.

I was going to ask you that because when your single came out, you were, what, 13, 14?

So you wouldn't have even done a concert, right?

No, never went to New Zealand.

Yeah.

My first single, Leave Get Out, came out when I was 13 and then Too Little Too Late when

I was 15, 16.

So it's been like a trillion years.

So I'm excited.

Do you know your single, Leave Get Out, I just confirmed 2004.

That was when Fletch and I started working together in the radio.

And boy, I tell you, we played that song a few times.

I mean, I can't believe, like, I finally get to sing this ancient song.

Stop calling it an ancient.

Well, because by and way, you're calling us ancient when you call the song agent.

This is a fresh new pop hit.

Oh, my God.

What are you going to do when you're in New Zealand?

Because if this is bucket list, you've got to do more than just perform.

You've got to do more than just work.

Okay.

So my, my, my friend who lives in Nusa in Australia actually just texted me and she goes, what

was she saying?

She was like, Hey, should we plan a wine tasting trip in one of the regions?

What'd she say in wine country of New Zealand after the last show?

So we're going to set our wine on.

We're going to, you know, you're going to have to, we'll barrel me out of the winery.

It's going to be good.

Because these, these Friday's festivals, it's like, there's a Thursday, Friday, Saturday,

Sunday.

And like, we're there on a Sunday.

Sunday.

And then all of these musicians and artists are just getting busted and crammed in and

go, go, go.

And then at the, you do finish in New Zealand.

So you should definitely hang around for a bit.

Oh, I'm going to hang around.

I'm going to, I cannot wait to see.

I mean, what would you guys recommend?

I was going to say, we'll show you a route.

We'll show you a route.

We've got the site.

We've got a good time.

You say wine country.

The whole country's basically wine country.

It depends on what kind of wine you want to drink.

I mean, the good stuff.

Are you more of a red or a white sparkling?

I'm more of a white.

I like, um, like a dry white.

I was going to say, we're going dry.

We're going sweet.

I already am.

Yeah.

Mine.

It just just dives off.

Mine.

Mine all the time.

Mine,

Mine all the time.

Okay, I hate to do this boys and just give me a couple of minutes JoJo. What's your favorite?

I'm a musical theater kid as well. What's your favorite musical favorite role? Oh

Favorite role Evita. Mm-hmm. I love little shop of horrors. Oh, I love

Les Mis. I'm a Les Mis girl. I'm a Les Mis. Yeah, you could be you've got big eponene energy

Thank you

Language right now, I don't know

Like beggar woman. I love sweetie Todd. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, what's the pies best pies in London?

You she can play at all if you had to choose so JoJo would you go like live theater Broadway like

Classic theater styles or would you go big pop concert in a crowd? Oh?

I don't want to choose darling. I want to do it. Oh, you must JoJo you simply must

I don't know

Well, we're gonna have a big crowd for you in New Zealand for sure wait a minute

I need to revisit a Mulan Rouge. Yeah teen was who Nicole Kidman was in the movie, right? That's right

So I'm playing quite literally playing a dying whore

She's the greatest courtesan in Paris and she you know, it's this romance slash tragedy and there's a

Mash-up of all these pop songs, you know from the past the best it is

Unbelievable the show is so much fun. I know there's a version in Sydney. That's playing too

So I'm gonna try to go see it while I'm over there too

Compare yourself to this a team. Yeah, I love I love to compare myself to people. Yeah

Can you what can you tell us about what's in store? I mean, obviously people want to hear

the the big hits from

Uroji 30 I can't believe you are 13 13 14 year old South

But are you giving us a bit of a mixed bag some newer stuff in the classics?

Really, I just want to like bop you over the head with bops

So I'm just really bang bang bang bang leave you wanting more come back and do a full tour for those who want to see more

You know another time, but yeah, I'm just gonna give you just relentless hits and

Bops can be great. Well, let's bop. We are we are very excited all the details for Fridays or at ZM online

Jojo will show you the wineries

We look forward to seeing you. Thank you so much for talking to us

Thank you guys and all the details for Friday live

The line up the tickets at ZM online plus the chance you to win as well our ZM Facebook and Instagram pages for a chance to win

Zm's flesh one and Haley

This really made me chuckle

There's a woman on tiktok who had filmed her sister and that says y'all which is well, honestly, I love y'all I

Think we should bring that y'all very American very yeah southern states American isn't it?

Yeah, it's also very gender neutral

Yeah, I remember you know could people always say ladies and gentlemen and when I am see I always look I'm like

What do we say with instead of ladies and gentlemen and y'all is always the number one things to be an American website

Well, I did want to be Vaughan Smith. Yeah y'all

As my pronouns. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah

Anyway, she said y'all my sister made a power point to tell my parents

She's a stripper and it shows her parents

Sitting on great use of a power point. I mean that power points got so many uses

This is just one of them her parents are sitting on dining chairs looking at the TV screen

Her sister is there with the the power point presentation up on the TV and they're watching it and it's a slow reveal

She does this whole like storytelling journey of like this is a really powerful person who made money and da da da

And so what I would like to present to you today is my new career and they're like, oh, we're excited and then it's like boop

I'm a stripper

It's really funny, do you know what to be fair parents are like, okay, because the PowerPoint really took them on a journey, right?

She sold them. It was a sales presentation. It was literally

You're so right. It was a sales perch more than just the explanation of this is my new job. They probably just wanted to out of home

Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah

However, you want to get out of my house or start paying rent. Yeah

rent but a very creative way of

Delivering what I imagine most people would sort of perceive as bad news. Yeah, how do you know how to tell your parents?

That's what I'm doing. Yeah tough news tough talk. Well, I remember when I was at drama school and times were tough

I I

thought about doing some

Not stripping but working at the strip clubs doing the waitressing, you know, oh, yeah, okay. Yeah

How would you have broken that news to Craig?

Do you know what I do know what that stopped me is if I I'm not I think my dad goes to strip clubs, but I was like

Somebody he knows yeah

I was like if his Brian his business partner walks in here and I'm like, hey Brian you out here supporting the girls tonight

I'm like, oh, I can't I was the accent just a point on an accent

I was at drama school the time so I was using it but extra. Yeah, right. You could have told you told Brian you were researching a role

Yeah, I'm I'm playing a little so southern bow comes to the big city and strips for the month

Do you want a yes supporting the girls tonight?

Anyway, I love watching this because I thought it was such a fun and creative way of breaking some sort of difficult news to appearance

Yeah, that I wondered if we could take some calls and get some messages in of the

The the maybe a creative way that you broke some bad news to someone

Coming out you did a powerpoint coming out presentation

Okay, yeah, and this left column is all the women I'm attracted to now that's empty

Here's a man who I have

Yes an Excel spreadsheet you'll notice

Now here's some stats on the next sheet, okay, I'll 800 dials any we want to take some calls

Maybe we won't do bad news because you know coming out. It's not bad news. No, no

Maybe difficult news difficult news

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what is the creative way that you delivered difficult news to someone? Maybe those giant blob letter balloons

I'm pregnant. That's expensive. I'm pregnant. I'm

Double-side tape them to the wall

I'll 800 dials any miss our number. Give us a call you can text through nine six nine six

What is the creative way that you delivered some difficult news?

There is a woman who

Announced to her parents that she was becoming a stripper and

She did it via a powerpoint presentation

And you know what it worked. So I want to hear that we wanted to know the creative ways that you delivered

Maybe some difficult news

So for you had some difficult news to tell your parents that you didn't want to go to outward bound

So you also did this I

Did

So you you were like I don't want to go to outward bound

So you had to break the difficult news to your parents. So how what was in this panel point presentation?

Honestly, it was probably like 15 years ago now

And I heard all the terrible stories about having to go and sleep in the bush by yourself and that scared me

So I pulled my parents into a formal living room. We gave a full-on powerpoint presentation. I love that

Yeah, also, I want to know why you I want to know why you had to go in the first place because when I was a teenager

Outward bound was where you sent your child if they were being a little shit basically

Yeah, and I was a straight-A student

I thought thinking parents

And they wanted me to go for like the mindset stuff to be able to you know, know that you can do anything

Right, but I won't admit it. I just

Right they know that you

Outward bound always sounded so much fun. I would have loved to have gone. Oh, no

They had on the hands of well-behaved straight-A student, but they wanted a more rounded excuse the pun

Because you're a little fatty, but you know like they wanted a more well-rounded student that would not be scared to tackle

challenging areas of life

And do you love the outdoors do you like do you go on?

Go somebody just said outward bounds Haley these days as a leadership experience. They realized they were sending the rat bags and

Oh my god, they reframed it

Reframed the whole experience Sophie. Thanks for sure. I think Sophie should be our caller

It's got nothing to do with the banglers Friday, and we forgot about it for the rest of the week

I think you're an inspiration. You are so you've got a $50 Mick cafe voucher. Thanks to our mates at Mick cafe

Thank you so much. Have a great day

The man is on this woman. She learned that it out. We're back. I'm sending off. I'm sending both of my children and fleshed outward bound

You need better manners coming through good Lord. I love this

I'm just I'm so tickled by these stories of how you creatively broke some difficult or bad news to people

Yeah, this is great. Well a girl did this with her parents broke the bad news. Well

The difficult news is becoming a stripper. Obviously, that's not the career. They

Visioned for her exactly. Ah Emma. Good morning. How are you morning? You had a PowerPoint presentation just the other day

I did I did my 14 year old and her friend had built it up told me they had something

They wanted to tell me and discuss with me and they wanted to both be in the room and I was like

They're coming out

And I that's fine, but I was like, okay, I just gotta you know handle that but it's okay

Whatever they're gonna present. It's gonna be okay. They're 14

They kind of crashed a car

Everything was going okay. He's and anyway the night came we sat down that we couldn't we couldn't Chromecast

It didn't go the way they planned and the

Anyway, I sent the answer. Can I just see it? Can you just share it with me? No, no, no, we're gonna read it

We're gonna read it like a line each. Yeah, okay. Yep. That sounds good

This is the title was why we want to go to Palmerston North

Tattoos or piercings, yeah, or pregnancy or something it was worse

They want to go on their own and they're only 14 they've even had to link the near B&B

Oh, they just want we live on Wellington, but we live slightly north and why can't I I don't trust them

Don't do it

I used to fly up to Auckland to go to big day out and some of my friends were allowed to go on their own and I

Cannot tell you the things we did in those hotel rooms. I cannot tell you don't let them go

Don't let them go. I I trust your children is the other people in it. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Jonah

How did you break the difficult news?

morning guys

So when I was at university, I was sort of coming out to my friends making the rounds

Yeah, but I hadn't quite nailed the I'm gay sort of phrase. Yep

So with one of my friends, I just showed her my Instagram discover page and

I mean, I'll tell you everything you need to know about a person

Yeah, the shirtless naked men kind of was yeah, I imagine your discovery page looks a bit similar to mine to be fair

Exclusively, yeah, we don't know what Jonah's into because you're into giant dudes

Joe might be he might be you know like the big boys. Yeah

Yeah, I mean, I would say it probably don't have a type but you know all the men all in the world

Jonah amazing. Thank you

To you sir, thank you. Oh my god

Pile on in the group chat yesterday one of our group cats that is a big friend group

Yeah, this is a friend group that all went to New Plymouth. Yeah for Haley show and Fletcher's birthday. Yeah, all all great friends

Yeah, oh beautiful group yesterday in a group chat titled New Plymouth weekend

It was brought to my attention that Fletcher's very nice bathroom has been used on a dating app by a user of said dating app

As a sexy backdrop for a tasteful nude

This is born to my attention

No, you can see heading down

But you can't it's either

Tasteful nude, you know that naked, but you can't see the whole shabomba. Yeah, I'm getting the whole you're not getting a shabomba

There's no shabomba. There's no shabomba. No shabomba. There's a couple of shabang bangs

So this photo shabomba this photo pops up in the group chat. Oh my god, and it's high line is a beautiful and immediate

It's a friend in my bathroom

So it's a nice to me doing a photo shoot. Yeah, there's been a

The mirror in your bathroom. It's stunning. It's like a ring light. Yeah

When we did it last room we wanted to put that mirror in and I was it was a close call

But it just wasn't it within our budgets. It was such a nice and it defogs. It doesn't fog up

Yeah, so another friend was perusing

Dating dating apps searching for love

Searching for love or one-hour love

He's sold of the earth

I didn't say was a good boy. Yeah, and then

He's like, I think I recognize this bathroom

Sends the photo to the group and we're all just like I said when I got I was like man

That looks like flitches bathroom a shot. I was like you dickhead. It is flitches bathroom. I want a hundred percent

It was one of those group chancellor is like ding ding ding

I was doing something at the time of my phone was just like me

Do you know what I even wonder if this photo was taken when I was drinking with the producers I

Think that could have happened pre an event that we were going to

Really could have just been taken in the bathroom while we were in the lounge. I I feel like that's really yeah

Wow way. Yeah, we were all hanging out and you know

Actually is this when I was there? Yes

Just popped in and just was like God, I'm feeling good today. It's a good for a sexy photo. It's a good lighting

It's good. You got nice

You got a red light in your bathroom. Yeah, and so I make up tutorials. Yeah, that's what it's thank you

Do you know funny thing is someone else sent me this photo to on Monday?

Yeah, I don't it's a great bathroom. That's a great bathroom bathroom

Well, I mean it's a perfect backdrop for a photo in fact now looking at this photo once again next time

I'm having a show I might take some snaps

Because there's a mirror and then on the other wall, there's another mirror so it kind of creates that infinite space

Yeah, it's like an infinite loop. Yeah, it's very gram-worthy. Oh

Absolutely, I'm gonna do a shoot in here. We should all do a shoot in here actually. Do you think so? Okay?

Yeah, well anyway, thanks for the pylon. Appreciate it. It was a big pylon. There's other aspects of the pylon that can't be mentioned here

Was something to say for off here

I think it might be my favorite pile on of 2023. I'm just gonna say I know

Classic pylons. We've got a quarter of the year left. Don't call it too early. I'm gonna I'm gonna just I'm gonna pencil this one as

It is my pylon of the year

Okay, great

Look, I'll be the first person to admit that

I've had

relations with some people that perhaps I

Wouldn't choose during the daytime, but at night time

With a few beveys on board. Yeah, that's my

View has been skewed

And I've gone for it. Yeah

And you always oh, no, I'm not the only one. I'm just the one brave enough to say it. Okay, but

You always blame the bear goggles. You're like, oh man. Yo, it's so much more attractive

Bear goggles. Yeah, you do. Yeah, the bear goggles on, you know, yeah, or the prosecco goggles

Yeah, yeah, the prosecco spectacles vodka cruiser goggles

vodka cruiser

Is a contact. Yeah

Well researchers were like, I wonder if bear goggles is actually a thing if something the effects of alcohol

Actually impact the way in which you see people

Okay, the way in which you see someone and their attractiveness changes

myth

Really? I just think booze makes you less fussy and all like you eat things when you booze that you wouldn't eat when you're sober

It's just everything. Yeah, you do that. Yeah drop your standards. Yeah

All around the board. Yeah, okay

Also, I wouldn't sit down normally and I ate a liter of yogurt, but you know

Yogurt's your

Saying there was a time where I was hungry and there was nothing so I ate yogurt until I was full

Don't eat yogurt till you're full is another no, it's not it's not a food to fill you up. No, no, no, no

It's a treat. It's a treat

It shouldn't be the only thing you eat until you're full

Right. Well this research that this really serious research that I'm glad they took the time actually

Um to debunk the myth of bear goggles

Revealed that I mean all it's doing is increasing your likelihood of approaching someone that you find attractive

So even if there's like if you think about someone you've slept with or whatever that you're like, oh god

There's our quality in them that you find attractive the booze loosens you up that makes you a bit chatty cath and makes you kind of approach them

and as you say, you know

You may you're hungry you'll eat anything. Yeah

Yes, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're just so it's not yeah

It's not it's not that I'm seeing them as more attractive. I'm just hungry

Yeah, and I'll eat anything. Yes. So yeah, okay, that's all that booze is doing

It does not in any way skew

How you see someone or their attractiveness or increase their attractiveness and then you see them like oh my god

Yeah, it just makes you hungrier

To the point that you'll eat anything. How did researchers today?

They just go out on a Friday Saturday night and just hang out with people

No, I mean no, I mean it's part that was part of the research. They actually looked at like brain activity

You know, like is anything actually chemically changing as well, right?

straight up no

A perception of attractiveness does not get skewed when you drink

Okay, so you cannot now blame bear goggles for any mistakes at the weekend for that guy in the bed

Who won't leave?

Yeah

Fact of the day day day day day

Now today's factor today is about wind uh because I was challenged to make it wind week on Tuesday

Yeah, it's not a challenge. It's officially wind week. It's a wind week. Yeah as as dictated by us

I could have done a full week. What is it? What week is next week? Have we decided honey badger week honey badger week?

Okay, honey badger week fantastic. I'm excited

Honey badger one of the greatest animals to ever have lived. Yeah

that ever will live

Please no disrespect to the honey badger at this time. Oh, yeah on on the on the on the penultimate days before

Honey badger week here. Save your love and admiration for next week. Next week honey badger week

So, um, you'll remember we've heard multiple times from raf squadron leader and fighter race

Gil Worthington

Yes, who is a pilot that flies for an airline that wants to remain anonymous and both name and employment

So we gave him this fictitious world war two fighter pilot alias. Okay. He then has hit me with some more

Oh, but this one's scar we

Scar way this one's scar we is a scar we and if people already already have a flight foe bear

I feel like this will do nothing but aggravate the situation. Oh, I'm excited

But I don't hear I could talk about the windiest place on earth and where the highest wind speed has ever been recorded

Oh, okay, you do that one and then just hit us with the side scary fact right at the end because it's wind week

We want all the wind we can handle it is wind week. Well, uh a full wind fact today

I thought I would go and find the windiest place on earth

Wellington so Wellington's like in the top five. Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's not the windiest

No, it's not go because they call that the windy city the windy city chicago's

Uh, not even on there. Oh, no, where is it? I remember this because I'm on wellie proud and when someone takes a title from us

I'm always like

Yeah, it's somewhere in like like

Siberia or scale for speed winds are recorded 233 days of the year in wellington

What?

Yeah, bro. Oh my god. I'd call in sycophiles of pilot and they're like you go to wellington today, but like

Sorry

We're going in sideways

So it always has a high wind but the Guinness book of world record and national geographic atlas

Have listed a commonwealth bay in Antarctica. Antarctica is the windiest place on the planet

Oh, that'd be a cold wind. So regularly over 150 miles an hour. Yeah, but they've got no apartment buildings to block the wind

No, they should pop some of those up

Yeah, they should a couple of the walls. Yeah, a couple of hedges. Yeah, some hedges blocking macrocapo

Tree and fast food outlets the average a mall a west a westfields a westfields

You get a westfields and they don't slow the wind down at any given time the average wind can be expected to be 50 miles an hour

Oh, wow. So 80 odd 80 odd kilometers an hour, which is a hell of a breeze. Yeah a hell of a breeze

But the that has lift up your frock, wouldn't it? It would it would tear your umbrella inside out

You'd know about it wellington the highest recorded wind speed on earth ever

Was in australia

Yeah, it was during a tropical cyclone cyclone. Olivia 1996

On barrow island in australia and as cyclone. Olivia smashed down on them in 1996

The wind speed got up to 407 kilometers an hour. That's oh my god

An hour that is insane

Yeah, what would that even do? What would that even so that's what I looked up like your descriptions of wind

And what it would be so just to put it in miles because it seems like weirdly

Wind is measured in miles more than kilometers around the world, which I don't know how much works. What's what is it equate to?

1.6 kilometers is one mile

So the the speed they reached was 253 miles an hour now if you look at an estimated wind chart

If you go to 13 to 18 miles an hour is what is known as a moderate breeze the wind will move branches

Raise a little dust and loose paper off the ground good for the washing

Great for the wash really good for the yeah

Let's go up to uh the Beauford number seven 32 to 38 miles an hour

Whole trees in motion inconvenience felt when walking against the wind

Okay, now the wind that they recorded was three was 10 times that

The highest one they do is 70 uh over 75 miles an hour severe and extensive damage roofs can be peeled off

Windows can be smashed trees are often uprooted RVs and small mobile homes will be overturned and driving automobiles can be pushed off

The road and over 75 miles an hour and the highest wind was

253

Oh my goodness nothing would survive. It'll be like an atomic blast. Yeah

It was so strong that they couldn't even validate the reading for 14 years because I can't be right

Equipment must have been wrong. Must have even and then it got dad's weather station must be wrong. Must be wrong. Must be wrong

So yeah, the fastest uh wind ever to blow on earth has been recorded as 407 kilometers an hour

And what about the pilot fact? What's our pilot fact today about when we did my pilot fact?

One of the reasons they don't fly through thunderstorms is something called micro bursts

Which is an extreme sound good?

Extreme downdraft

Which can all of a sudden make wind forced straight down at over 100 miles an hour

Which is okay a lot which can cause a rate of descent of 6000 feet a minute

If they were coming into approach with 1500 feet off the ground

Yeah, so two minutes before they actually touched down and they had a micro burst

It would take 15 seconds for that plane to be smashed straight into the roof. Yeah, okay. That's cool. That's awesome

We that's I told you it was scar away and you still wanted to hear it

And the fact that even if they get through that the tailwind created by when the wind hits the ground and goes out

I can increase this

Plane speed by up to 100 miles an hour because it's a tail speed. So you're coming to land all of a sudden

It's just like jetpack

I told you it was scarless. I can't wait to head to the airport after this

If I'm on a little prop plane down to uh christchurch from toad on it to christchurch

No, it'd probably be a bigger big enough plane and I'll be safe and fine and make it. Yeah, you'll be fine. You'll be fine

Yeah, it's looking like please guys. I think it'll be a beautiful view find out. Oh, yeah, you'll get a beautiful view

But just think about those downdrafts. Oh, well back in mind

Yeah, I will so today's fact of the day is the highest wind speed ever recorded was in Australia during a hurricane

And it reached 407 kilometers an hour

Fact of the day day day day day

They said they were gonna come and get you and they came and got you uh, if you wrongfully took the covid wage subsidy

Or I had to pay some of it back or took more than you should have

Well, they've caught one guy, uh, but I will say there was nothing subtl about this

So I think you don't say the

The you hit the b sub sub sub till

Subtl about this

A man made multiple applications for covid 19 wage subsidies for his company. Yeah and got 196 thousand dollars worse

Subsidies, sorry. Yeah 196 thousand dollars worth of subsidies for his employees. Oh, yeah, of course. He had none

Oh, yeah, uh, there was no employees. Yeah, um, according to the bank statements, uh, that was looked into

75,000 dollars was paid to contractors during the period

And 18,000 went into his personal bank account the remaining money. Uh, if you're doing quick maths

$93,000 was spent carry the one. Yeah carry. I carried a big old. Did he carry the one?

Roughly a hundred thousand dollars remained

Yep

The remaining money was spent on company and personal use including online gambling adult entertainment clubs and fast food

That's all company expenses

Yeah, 20 bucks on the 20 bucks on the west

Do you want to how do I what do I code that for we we would claim it back

We were joking off here. This guy did not learn

Like we all learned that valuable life lesson

Spending your course related costs because I know nothing

I would spend mine every year of my degree and then that'd be like you need to buy this and I'm like, I don't have any money, man

And I like would use your course related costs and I was like, I took a holiday to india. I can't I don't have that

That's gone. Hey, that money's gone

Like most of us boozed away our course related costs and you went to india on a holiday

Yeah, I did. The other years I boozed it away. Yeah, and I think I bought a nice frock

Okay, right because I worked in the clothing store. I had someone at when I was at

Whatever I did that passed for university

They aren't said can you write a letter saying that I bought a computer off you for 995 dollars

Okay, and I was like, okay country boy in the big smoke. Yeah

No, you hey boy

I'm gonna use my best writing here tell them you bought one of them there computers off me

And I did it and I was like, okay, and then I got real nervous and freaked out about it

And then one of my mates prank will be

pretending to be

Oh, my god, just have some more questions about this computer. I was like, uh

How about you? I'm gonna try to answer your question as long as I can sir

But I don't know too much, but I didn't tap a tap a couple of boxes

But yeah, and I was just like what the hell are people doing because it was all

Yeah, new to me that people were yeah getting it out and saying oh, it's for books and the thousand dollars. I'm not this guy with

You just get all this free money and you're like

Well, just spend it but I mean you pay back your course related cost

Whereas this guy wasn't having to pay back. He was fraudulently ripping off

But you pay back your course related costs in your late 30s 40s, you know

Yeah

19 year old haley doesn't give a toss about 33 year old haley. They had to pay that off. No, that sounds like a 30 something problem

Yeah, I'll be rich by then right and this is a question. We wanted to ask what did you actual actually?

Spend your course related costs on great. We don't want to hear about spending it on books in a laptop

That's because that's related. Yeah, you lose. We want the unrelated course costs that you spent the money on

It got hard array

I think they cracked down on it. Yeah, quite. They just deposited a thousand bucks into my account at the top of every year

I loved her and you went to india and I went to india my new dress india for a thousand dollars

No, I'd saved other money. I just went towards it. Yeah, right, okay

Okay, i'll 800 dollars at ms. The number your tech stuff is well 9 6 9 6

What did you spend your course related costs on that was not related to your course?

Play

Zm we want to know this morning what you spent your course related costs on that weren't

Course related

Like not actually books. What did you spend them on like haley went to india on a holiday?

Must be nice. I was learning over there. I was learning. Yeah, Kara. What did you spend course related costs on?

Kara

Kara is gone. Yeah

God I thought you'd died Kara. Oh god. How are you alive?

Not the way to come to the show. We'll have the undead. We'll have the undead on the show. Yeah, we will

A lot of money to our undead listeners

A lot of ready shows are too scared to have the undead on the show because the undead often do have some

Opinions and we're not afraid of that. Let's go to shan. Sham. What did you spend course related costs on?

Um, I spend them on a trip to the each year and concert

Yeah

Well spent so yeah, can we justify this? What did you study?

Um, I'm studying nursing

Yeah, well music is therapy. Yeah. No. Yeah, and you um could have been there to treat someone in the crowd if they'd fallen over

There you go. There you go

Just trying just trying to justify that. Uh, shan. Thanks. You call um, steven. What did you spend course related costs on?

Hey, good morning guys. Um

Long time. Listen. I first on tour

I'm sick of the morning. Sick of the morning. Yes. Welcome. Welcome.

Uh, I bought a blower valve for my car and a razor scooter. Oh my god. Is that one of those things guys?

I'm not even motorized. What did you need a razor scooter for if you had a car with a blower valve?

Uh, I might had a razor scooter and was doing tricks in the driveway and I thought I reckon I could do better tricks than that

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. And then say some ladies for the rest of us though

You had me a blow off valve

Steven, thank you. I keep your messages coming through nine six nine six

What did you spend your student loan course related costs on someone said as a lawyer?

I'm terrified. I'm about to hear a client admit to fraud student loan fraud on the radio

But hopefully that doesn't happen somebody else said my mate built a drift car

Uh, and then put a funded by study link banner on the windscreen. Oh, you little shite

You little little that's good blow off valve. All right, we'll get to it more next thing

Uh, what you spent your course related costs on that weren't course

Some real related some great messages through

I uh spend my horse

Horse related on a saddle. No, I course really costs on a horse

So I spoiled my jokes. I was gonna say that I guess you could say it was horse related costs

Oh, we stuffed the whole setup and then I sort of came in

And do you want to start again and we can everybody listening can just pretend that you didn't stuff up

That'd be really nice. Yeah, can you do a fleach for the Haley again? Okay. Okay

See Dan fleach for and Haley that was the song. We're talking about what you spent your course related costs on

Oh, are we? Yeah, or for people who own horses horse related costs

But I was there's I was gonna mom

Do you know what I mean? Like saddles and stuff somebody messaged in that they used there

They were studying engineering and they used their course really cost to buy a horse. I guess you could oh

So it's horse related costs. I guess you could say it was horse related costs

There was a really good joke Haley. Well, I'm a comedian. I'm on tour as a comedian right now

On the seven days

Haley at a town of city near you soon

With horse jokes horse related he's not coming up with any of them. That's why it doesn't come up with jokes

Just read the texts and we'll do the jokes

Just got a horse related costs. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, you don't have to repeat my joke back, bro. Everyone heard it

It was

Horse related. Come on born Haley made this joke already read the text man. I've got more jobs course

Yeah, come on. Yeah, you don't please don't explain my joke. It stands for itself

I spent my course related costs on tickets to snoop dog and ice cube in the up and smoke tour in 2003

Money well spent money well spent you were telling a historical event

Ice cube man. Cool. That would have been a great concert in 2003

Uh, I used my last round of course related costs on a ps5 technically speaking. I still haven't paid for it. Hashtag girl mats

Yeah, I mean you've done that there

Uh, we were 16 and 17, but my daughter's dad and I spent them on yugioh cards

Is that is that um, it's nerd stuff. Yeah, right. Yeah, is that drinkable z? No

But you know what?

Thanks for trying. Is that pokemon? Thank you. It's no. Okay. Are you hitting the e in pokemon? It's pokemon

Pokemon it's not a pokeball. No, you get a pokemon adjacent because it's poke poke ball pokemon

Too many big beans in a pokeball. I don't want your hair lot of big beans

Too much rice and too many beans. Don't put big beans on top of weird cabbage and salad. Yeah more meat

Yeah, more meat, please somebody said I um spent my course related costs on a machine that let me um

Talk to other people and and dashes and beeps. I guess you could say it was more related costs

Don't excuse me. There's one comedian on this show

Also, did that text even come in? No, I don't think it did. I think you've made a text. Yeah, that's desperate form

Or that's coming across as quite desperately

All my course related costs on condiments to be put on my food mostly in liquid form

I guess you could say it was source related costs. Sorry flitch. I've actually got the text machine open

I'm happy to do jokes and texts if one can't handle either do a couple if you want. Yeah, absolutely

Um, I don't be mean to vorn guys. Who's who's big funny?

Sorry

Spent all my course related costs on strength or energy as an attribute of physical action or movement

I guess you could say they were force related costs

I think we're gonna leave the show there for the week. I think we'll leave the show for the week now

Friday I spent all my money on a yellow flowered shrub of the pea family the leaves of which are modified to form

Spines native to western europe and north africa, but considered in new zealand to be quite an invasive pest

Do you know that I

Okay, if you had to rate review or marry

Fletch

Vaughn or hayley, what one would it be? Okay? I would marry hayley. I would

Have sex wait, which one?

No, no, no, no, it's only rate review marry. Oh, okay

No comment. I've had sex. It's a podcast. I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review though

Zm's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

Driver or Drivers License?

Silly Little Poll!

Top 6: Things that are already Things

Burrito Hole

Final Rankings: Fry Styles

Jojo!

Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.