ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 1st November 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Fleece Born and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McAfay coffee with my Mac's rewards.

Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Fleece Born and Haley.

It's two minutes past six.

Hello, hi.

Hello, Wednesday.

Hello, hi.

I...

I still have this weird throat thing.

But not COVID.

Not COVID.

Oh, yeah, you sound a little bit...

I know.

You know, I'm supposed to be doing some bake-off voiceover today.

I think it'd be good for it.

Jonathan has used some raspberries.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big Nigella energy.

All finished off with a chocolate whip.

Chocolate lovers.

Hello, chocolate lovers.

You filmed that show ages ago.

Yeah, then it got postponed.

When's it coming on?

The great Kiwi cooking show.

Next year, right?

I don't know.

I should start a petition.

It's just nice if...

It's nice that you had one show that hasn't been cancelled.

Well, I know it is good.

I am a cursed host.

Yeah.

I think you should put a gun to the networks here

and say, if it's not on TV by Christmas,

I'm just going to tell everybody who wins.

Oh, blackmail the network.

It's a great idea.

And no worse than that time

we got drunk and told the commissioner what you've done.

Yeah, gosh.

Resulting in a show being cancelled.

Yeah.

Tens of people out of jobs.

Single-handedly.

Yeah, single-handedly killed it.

Tens of thousands of people.

Tens of thousands of people.

No, I said tens of people.

Also, we haven't discussed this,

but you were booked on the project the day it was...

It was cancelled.

It was cancelled.

You were booked to go on that night, but they...

I am a curse.

You're a curse.

I'm a curse.

Seven days beware.

No, the Great Kiwi base in January.

Okay, we're looking forward to that.

Yeah, me too.

And you can listen out for the episode

where I had this throat thing going on.

Coming up on the show,

the top-60 average Kiwi household spending.

What was it?

$300?

Around $300.

$300.

A week on groceries.

Now, that is five times the amount

that Christopher Luxon said he spent

on groceries in the lead-up to the election.

He said he's got a $60 a week grocery bill.

He's really got a pretty lively with that.

And then he went, whoa!

And then he was like,

no, wait, wait, it's only me and my wife.

Everyone was like,

we just as you knew made yourself!

Yeah, a day.

Easy.

A day.

Easy.

So, I've got the top six recipes

from the Office of Christopher Luxon.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

To maybe help us save a bit of money.

Yeah, I like that.

Yeah.

For you, Christopher Luxon.

Christopher Luxon.

Next on the show.

Big day at my house.

First of November, it's finally happened.

I'm going to work out the exact amount of time

I've been waiting for this day.

Play.

ZM's Fletchvon and Haley.

256 days ago,

we ripped out our toilet

as part of our demolition

before we started our build

at the back of our house.

Mama Mia.

And that's how long it's been.

256 days.

And is that when the Portaloo arrived?

Yeah.

Fairbateenths.

Wow.

Isn't that crazy

that we've had a Portaloo all that time

and the Thunderbucket at night.

That's right.

A Thunderbucket.

The Thunderbucket.

Is that what it was called

or is that what you've called it?

No, that's what it's called.

A camping pee bucket.

Today's the day we get our toilets getting installed.

I can't believe it.

I actually can't believe this.

I can't...

This is...

What a day.

I know.

What a day.

Yesterday I went to the garage

and I got all the bathroom stuff out

and the plumbers coming in.

Oh my God, I'm so excited.

Do you know what?

We've actually done quite well.

This whole time I've been like,

ah, it's alright.

It's just part of the process.

Nine months though.

Oh, eight and a half months

without it.

It's worn thin.

I bet it has.

Oh my God.

Yeah.

Longest renovations

in the history of renovations.

Oh my God.

Seriously.

Today we get a toilet.

Now the debate is,

we've already decided

when the shower gets signed off,

which will be about next week,

which is also crazy.

Who gets to use it first?

Well, both of you,

because don't you have a double shower?

The shower we've gone,

yes, we'll have a shower at the same time,

double shower, hot sexy stuff.

The toilet,

can't really use it at the same time.

No.

You know?

So who gets to take the third,

who gets to sort of

christen the bowl?

I feel like,

it depends on what time

I can get home today.

You know what I mean?

You think it could be before

you get home?

Yeah.

Well, have you decided who?

Well, I think it should be Aaron.

Yeah, right.

That's a fair call.

What if you get home

and you're busting

and he's like,

I don't have one on board.

I'm dry.

Yeah, then I'll get to do it.

The only thing is,

I feel like he should get

to have it first,

because he's a man

and I feel like

they respect their toilet time

more than us.

But what if he's just wheeze?

It's standing up.

No, no, no.

It's gonna be a ploop.

Oh, right.

Okay.

It's gonna be a ploop.

A true christening.

A true christening.

Before next week,

I'm getting a colonoscopy

next week

and the prep

the day before.

Oh, yeah.

Very punishing on the loo.

Yeah, so you've got to

get on the toilet before that.

Yeah, that's not

Portaloo stuff.

You're gonna get a lot of time

on the toilet next week.

Yeah, so I was like,

maybe he can have

a nice sacred time

before I absolutely

ruin the thing next week.

Maybe you could just

pump on your way home,

go to like

Kimmer's Warehouse

and get some metamucil.

Yeah, I could.

Somebody said you've got

to watch it.

Plumbers will sometimes

install it.

They do.

And then,

they can't take a dump

because we don't have

a door on the thing.

And there's a few

traders in the house.

So if they literally

installed it,

then took a shit

with an open door.

I think our plumbers

have more respect.

Right.

They're one of the good ones.

Yeah, okay.

The plumbers.

Yeah.

So this is an exciting day.

Wow, okay.

We've had people

we've had people over

and sometimes

I will say this is a bit grim,

but like

the Portaloo gets

cleaned once a week

on a Wednesday.

Today's a good day.

Yeah.

Not great days for the Port.

No.

Do you know what I mean?

You've got tradies

using it as well.

We used to have a

tradie-separate one,

but God,

we had to trim costs

somewhere.

So we got rid of that.

We're all using

the same one now, team.

Yeah.

It was pretty rough.

And then,

so when we had friends

round and if it was

like a rough day,

you'd be like,

no, please don't go.

And then,

we want me to go

and be like,

please just pee

in the garden.

Yeah.

So we've had friends

around here.

Yeah.

Well, happy new toilet day.

Well,

I can't wait to host you guys

if you actually

have somewhere to weigh

a Florida walk-on.

We might actually come

round a bit more now.

Yeah, I know.

Although Vaughn does.

Don't know those

world promises.

Before,

do you want to come over?

Don't know those

world promises.

You're going to come

over this weekend,

no way.

Vaughn's always

over to get

scrap woods.

What am I coming

over for this weekend?

Before the

Halloween party.

Before?

早 Towns and take

a piss with the new toilet.

It seems like

too much.

You should come in

from Town to mine and

then we'll go back to Town.

That's like a $70

Uber.

All right.

So just fun.

Just to come

all the way back.

I can't wait to host you guys.

I do want to use

the new toilet though.

Yeah, it's going to be good.

It's going to be good.

Clay,

ません,

a cosmetic surgeon

in the UK

who's very popular

on TikTok,

you may have seen him

as a

as Dr.

Richard Divine,

Divine

divine dick divine dick divine dick uh this uh tiktok has had millions of years i think

oh at last count over 16 million he has uh given the five cosmetic procedures or the

five things he would not do as a cosmetic surgeon does he say why after each one he does say why

have you got a lozenge you're sorry so someone comes in says a dick divine wild name anyway i want

something done and he's like i don't do those well he's saying i wouldn't get this done to my

own face but i'll happily do it to yours for money probably no because some he wouldn't do to anyone's

face he wouldn't do it to anybody anybody there's not much i wouldn't do to anybody's place let me

go through the lot to a person's face the first thing that dr dick divine will not do to his

face or does not want you to do to your face uh russian lips yeah now this is where you are in

you inject filler inside the lip inside and it gives a little like lift like yeah so you look

like oh my god you know like that like you get more of a kind of curl up and you look maybe

usually inject it into the outside yeah i didn't even know right i wouldn't even thought you'd go

inside i've never had lip filler by the way because i got naturally what you don't want to do is get

one russian lip and one ukrainian lip yeah they'll be fighting the whole time your mouth will never

shut the ukrainian retreats back like that and then the russian one is forward like that yeah yeah

yeah that i don't yeah well that's what he said you they look plumper than normal lip fillers

and you just look like a duck to each their own but to me when people get that turned out thing and

you see the inside of the lip becomes the outside it's a bit much and does that never go down no

they they um what's the word just integrate over time basically dissolve over time because if it

stretched the skin right it would and then you get flappy wrinkly lips yeah would you get you would

get flappy wrinkly lips yes like stretching any part of the body the other the other thing on his

list are thread lifts now i didn't know what this is but he said they're painful they're very expensive

and they don't last so he's like there's just no point to them instead of like pulling your skin

back and stapling it for a facelift like that way and like stitching it back you put these tiny

little threads under the skin and they pull the thread so that your face goes back like that imagine

so there's threads throughout the skin and then what they all temporary sutures basically and then

yeah they dissolve similar to things and is the idea your skin will be like oh no i like it up here

i'll stay up here now or just goes back to your skin will always just go back because slides back

down because gravity gravity can't fight the moonlight and you can't fight gravity his other

third thing you can't fight crazy no his other third thing is he would never get treatments

by a beautician or non-medical professional okay yeah that kind of goes without saying i wouldn't

yeah uh fourth on the list uh he would never use a filler a juvie derm filler do you know what that

is yeah it's just a brand of filler just a brand yeah it's a type of dermal filler used to add

volume in specific areas of the face uh cheeks and lips he said in his experience the filler

gradually swallows with time so the initial result can become distorted and lastly on his list of fine

things this is a cosmetic surgeon he would never do sunbeds oh yeah come on and i mean i guess that's

like uh being out in the sun without sunscreen right it just causes your skin to wrinkle and age

they were all the rage when i was in high school i've never had a sunbed do they even have them

now yeah places still have them i saw Warren and Ponson me the other day and i was like huh

but i remember getting a friend you know a 10 trip card for her birthday a concession trip

what you basically got your you basically got your friend a skin cancer card we got we bought Maria

skin cancer for her birthday yeah but it's a long wait yeah it's a happy birthday isn't that terrible

you should check it on Maria yeah well i caught up with her the other day she's still with us okay

great but i will take full responsibility when the skin cancer happens okay play

you guys been to a baby shower before um did i go to your baby's shower no no

no indy have indy came early before the baby shower that's right and then so

shut i was like i'll do the baby shower for the second baby and then

yeah just had a luncheon with the girls yeah i didn't go to that no i didn't go to there there

i try to avoid all of that yeah first birthdays like the baby doesn't even know what's going on

yeah i had flights to christchurch for a baby shower but when i got there the baby was there

that was it was even better no we don't have to sort of sit around and play stupid games

that's a twofer beautiful baby that's a twofer yeah have a sniff of the baby and yeah get home

i threw a baby shower once for my besties first baby i didn't really know what i was doing i was

only like 23 and then i it was quite it was it was all right okay and then because i don't you

didn't know what you were doing it's more of a hens night yeah i did i arrived and i had brought

all this vodka and wine and i had all this my mum did all this food and stuff yeah and i

brought all this vodka and wine and my besties mum tuned up she was like god i love you hailey

like this is not what a baby shower is but good for you good for you and i was like oh i've got some

games some games organized yeah uh well there was a woman in lieu of a baby shower she decided to

have a nesting party so i had my nesting party last night instead of a baby shower my friend

brie organized it i sent her a list of things that i wanted to get done before baby came and she

made little cards um for each person to take to take on a section of the house and everything

was so clean and organized and i feel so much more ready for this baby oh i know now listen her voice

is really annoying yeah i understand and she said before baby came do you know i have such a pet

peeve about people calling their baby baby yeah well we just need to get ready because baby's coming

and you're like what what are the baby the baby is coming the baby's coming our baby's coming

my baby's coming so her friends go to her house and clean it up this is smart though yeah despite

the voice this is smart so instead of going around and sitting around and giving little

toys and stuff and then actually if you go around and have that the baby shower at the person's house

you actually leave a mess yeah yeah you go around and you get all your girlfriends to basically

deep clean the house and if you watch the video like these women are on their hands and knees they're

like toothbrush in the tiles and vacuuming this and doing all the mantles getting all the dust off

of everything the last time that house is that clean yeah for years when baby arrives yeah that

the house is like ready to go that makes so much more sense to me sounds like i that i'd be busy

if i ever had to throw a baby shower again i will say though come on girls tick-tack you know the

clocks ticking most of my friends you know get it out get it out oh i think you mean the clock's

ticking hurry up and clean so we can have some vodkas yeah i was just trying the whole biological

clocks ticking thing but it didn't feel good um next if i ever have to throw a baby shower again

i'll definitely suggest this instead it's so much better and you can drink while you're doing it

champagne i think you should just do this like monthly you know what i mean have your friends

on your own house yeah oh yeah don't get your um cycles synced up because how i know it's how i know

that it's about to happen in our house is there'll be a thorough but a nesting there'll be there'll

be a loud proclamation that this house is a god damn mess oh my god everywhere oh my god i can't

please get your shit off the bench what's what's this stuff doing here yeah who's is this yeah

and then if there was some sort of army of traveling woman who all turn up and it's like a

baby at various stages of their cycle yes yeah yeah yeah yeah amped to support a sister yes great

idea and i'll just i'll just get the hell out the way oh oh oh just go to the treehouse hide hide

in the treehouse i'll take my shit off the bench and then yeah

hi was that boy oh you know girl uh there's been a service of households commissioned by

agribusiness bank robo bank which i always thought was robo bank i thought it was robo bank

robo robo bank i am robo bank robo bank and a national food rescue organization called kiwi

harvest 21 percent of of household surveyed now spend more than 300 a week on groceries compared

to 15 percent in the survey last year this time last year wow yeah so that's no surprise to anyone

is it the survey of 1500 new Zealanders in july and august this year found households were now

spending an average of 238 a week on food up nine percent a year ago so it's the average one

then this is very interesting the number of vegans has fallen oh and fewer kiwis were planning to

reduce meat consumption because i guess you've just got to like get a full belly and meat and while

it's more as expensive isn't as expensive as the meat alternatives which is still quite expensive

quite expensive so it's too expensive to be a vegan now jeepers now you'll remember in the

lead up to the eleccion when questioned by i believe jessica much mckay

i'm sure wasn't jessica much girls during one of the lead up to that yeah uh christopher luxin

was asked how what his weekly grocery bill is and he said 60 dollars and everyone laughed even

chris hipkins laughed that you could hear the audience like everyone laughed and then he's like

oh but it's just me and my me and my wife it was just me and my partner yeah we're dropping that

you'd be at least the day like every couple of days i reckon would spend if we stick to it and

don't include wine if you don't go to the pub yeah dinner i mean that was what everybody said right

yeah he needs to spend six dollars work because he's on the road the whole time and it's getting

picked up by the yeah i assume the taxpayer the government is getting is picking up the bills

and getting taken to dinners and such well i now have in my hands christopher luxin's new cookbook

how to spend 60 dollars a week on groceries wow and i'm gonna read you this the top six recipes

surely some hot tips in this yeah the hottest tips number six on the list of the top six recipes

from christopher luxin's book 60 dollars a week on groceries

wheatbix wheatbix wheatbix every meal is wheatbix okay sugar 72 biscuits hold your horses there

champ 72 biscuits in a 12.2 kg box but if you want bananas or brown sugar tough luck so just

raw dog raw dog wheatbix maybe with some you have to make the milk last so you have to water it down

if you get through too much milk too quickly yeah or when you finish your wheatbix you know

how there's still still some milk in the bowl pour it back in the jug um don't do that pour it back

in the jug well you're only using it for wheat bits oh you're true so it's no problem okay number

five on the list of the top six recipes from christopher luxin's new cookbook how to spend

60 dollars a week on groceries dust cake you guys are gonna love dust cake okay instead of flour

yep dust dust household dust yep yeah right instead of baking soda dust dust and instead of cocoa

powder outside dust outs all okay because it's it's got a bit more color to it yeah okay and then

you make okay how long do you bake it for does it say how to bake it because oh that would make

your power bill too high right cake better yeah and then no dust just let it sit let it sit all

right yeah the gelatin and the dust like a raw cake like how you make a raw cake you see it

yeah okay and number four on the list of the top six recipes from christopher luxin's new

60 dollars a week on groceries book uh grace grass your salad it's like Caesar salad yeah but it's

just all different sorts of grass oh yeah yeah go for a walk and you put yeah maybe some native

grasses that's better be nice so that yeah you look outside there's a couple of different grasses

in our little garden outside we've got some nice blades in this country we do blades yeah yeah not

flax though it's too chewy yeah too chewy it's way too chewy uh number three on the list of the

top six recipes from the prime minister's six dollars a week on grocery book um you guys heard

of tap water yeah i've heard of her you guys are gonna love frozen tap water okay you freeze the

tap water how would you hold the water in the freezer in a container right just one that you find

yeah right okay oh you wash it and you put it in there and then it's frozen and you can

eat it and it's it's like water has become food what does it taste like um tap water but cold

oh wow really don't do this at fletcher's house as tap water is oh get out fletcher's tap water

how do you not have one of those little taps beside your tap that goes through a filter that

takes out all of the yuck it's not it's not my fault no i know it's not your fault but you've

got to remedy it city water it's just city water it's thick man so thick it's heavy it's thick it

tastes like you're taking a drink from a pool it was a hard swallow it's like wow get it down the last

time i hosted you guys at my house that's why i didn't drink enough water because it's stomach

so it's my fault that you got that drunk it was easier to drink vodka right uh number two on the

list of the top six recipes from the prime minister's 60 dollars a week on groceries cookbook uh you

guys are going to love this one um he talks about how plants are basically just eating for free oh yeah

sunlight right you just eat sunlight go outside and open your mouth and go blue skies today finally

get a good meal yeah get a bit through the skin and where are the blue skies i can see us

skierick of blue over there great use of skierick thank you great use of skierick thank you so much

that little flash of private education yeah it is because i've never used that word in my life

i've heard it i've heard it but i've never used it skierick welcome darling skierick skierick

is it skierick or skierick we're a big skierick family skierick just a skierick the smallest bit

skerr ick oh that's how i would have spelled it too there's this i might not have put a k on the

end because i would have assumed it was french this is the example they use on google there's not

a skierick of food in the house well you wouldn't say that if you had a private education there's

always food in the house yeah yeah i tell you what it didn't cost 60 dollars and number one on the

list of the top six recipes from the prime minister's new uh 60 dollars a week on groceries cookbook

this is a pud oh okay yum yum yum just had a delicious feed of sunlight next up for pud

ear okay take a few deep breaths is it different to sunlight

oh wait i'm too full you're hogging it well yeah i know that's what i'm saying don't go overboard

yeah yeah save some ear for the rest of us i know i'm really sorry guys i hogged the airport there

but uh enjoy it all that is today's top six

play

what would you say is your favorite show of all time

so hard a when people say what's your favorite movie there's so many

ollie wonka and the chocolate like i mean breaking bad wasn't there just perfect

yeah it was perfect for so sopranos so was so's kurb your enthusiasm

white lotus white lotus so good i don't know wow uh there's lots of lists on lots of sites but

this is a pretty big one that uh asked a lot of people that the best great steve shows of all time

and i'm sorry to say that number 20 is big brother

i've lost faith in the reality show really yeah i mean culturally it's been a thing for so long

has it so you could argue that sure maybe that's why 13 is the sopranos 14 six in the city yeah

twin peaks 11 we'll start at number 10 though work through the list number 10 is the wire

great show great show great show constantly on these lists of greatest shows of all time

i don't normally watch a show twice but that is a show i feel like because it's getting i mean

it's getting old now there was a lot there and there was a lot each season was packed i feel like

you could watch that again yeah the wire and breaking bad were kind of happening at the same time

no finished his breaking bad started oh okay the wire was a weird one

a kind of bubbled under the surface for a little bit yeah and then blew through and everyone was

like okay i've got four seasons to watch now catch the fifth show number nine is the simpsons great

show longevity wise it can't be doubted number eight is battle star galactica well okay i've

lost faith in this list i was sort of like like quickly people love that very very popular show

yeah number seven is i don't know just because you don't like it you've got this weird thing you

can't understand why people don't like things like things that you don't like yeah i mean you don't

that's hard but in terms of like artistic output i don't really know that that's the number seven

is mash oh yep okay great show we're going for a long time number six is the office they don't

specify we're going to say it's american give us last great show i love it it's one of my top

shows i've still never watched it so perfect yeah are you you can you not bring yourself to a

purist yeah because of the uk office yeah it's more palatable because david brent was so painful

but that's what made it so great that's why it was perfect that it was so short no yeah but because

david brent you couldn't have done a 24 episode season with david brent no there was just no way

michael scott's painful steve corral but right in a in a you know you can look at it way yeah

okay top five phrasier number five which has just had the reboot hasn't i watched the first episode

of the reboot and it was terrible i was a fan of the original phrasier oh i wasn't no i'm not a fan

there was no niils in this reboot number four threes company old show number three game of thrones

yeah here we go fantastic here we go these are classics your white lotuses aren't on this list yeah

number two bank bank bank sign found sign found great show number one friends oh what a comedy heavy

at the top comedy heavy now they did do you see that the the other five made a joint statement

yes yesterday basically saying like devastated we'll say more in time yeah but for now like

exactly what we were saying yesterday like what can you say you just be absolutely devastated

our family thinking of his family but that they'll say more later but they're just reeling

but friends what a show number one number one

oh dude smooth man that was so smooth pull down the fader of the friend song trying to kick

off the ads absolutely missed it in you you missed the button yeah i did yeah do we want to do that

again or no i should just like i'll just do this number friends oh that's strength to

leave it to one leave it to one one number friends they're friends hell of a tv show

that was the cue play zudem's fledge vorn and hayley

titanic three hours 14 minutes gone with the wind three hours 58 minutes lorence of arabia

three hours 42 minutes ben hurth three and a half hours godfather part two three hours 22

minutes claire patrick three hours 53 minutes jesus that's four hours that is just hamlet 1996

four hours two minutes well they're made movies back in the day so long i know your fellowship

with the ring comes in at three and a half if you go for the directors one there's some very long

movies well people are calling for intermissions because these movies are coming out lately

like the new martin scorsese one it's calorie flour moves also if you go to like a film it's

sorry to the theater you get an intermission if it's longer than like 90 minutes but i always

feel that was just so they could sell you overpriced drinks and candies because people get bored

do you know the longest film ever released was an experimental film it went for 35 days in 17 hours

i need a couple of wee breaks i reckon because i think absolutely silly martin scorsese i was

reading was asked about this the other week and he said will people sit down and watch like a really

well-crafted tv show and spend like 12 hours yeah at home at home over a couple of days where they

can pause it true and go wheeze and get someone to eat and do other stuff they need to do but i

think his point was in one sitting people could easily bust through like three or four episodes

yeah totally you've got to you've got to have highs and lows and take me on a journey and

surprise me but if it was good enough for ghostbusters too at the phonga mater movie theaters

whenever that came out pro also i saw that years after it came out because phonga mater's movie

cinemas always got the movies like when everybody else was done with them yeah but there was an

intermission then and that's not that long a movie correct me if i'm wrong that oldest cinemas had to

do that because they had to change the real real they didn't have projectors big enough to carry

the whole real yeah so they had to get the real in two parts i believe so yeah right should movies

in the cinema have an intermission 44 percent of people said yes 56 said no 44 saying yes that's

quite a bit more than i thought it would have been yeah same what's just because you don't want to

miss the pivotal moments when you need to pay the only thing with an intermission is that it

extends the whole experience yes yeah how long is the intermission 20 minutes generally it's

like a half time and there's already 20 to 30 minutes of faffing ads at the

i know so now we're like adding an extra bloody hour basically to the process

can't be bothered i like the trailers i still do like watching trailers same four movies in the

movie theater yeah i do also like that thing that goes

wow some feedback laura says want to compare a day so movie theater has an intermission

with freshly backed cookies oh and it is divine you know the intermission's coming when you start

smelling the cookies that you ordered prior to the movie starting great pee break time too of

course i see you order the cookies a half time cookie if you didn't order the cookie and then

the smell of cookies comes in you like i have made a grave you'd regret that mistake you would say

can i have a cookie to be like did you order a cookie and you'd be like no and they'd say you

can't have a cookie then yeah please i'll pay double yeah and then you pay double you pay double

for a cookie uh a says i grew up in a town that had intermissions it adds something to the experience

like running to the toilet during an ad break used to for the television yeah yeah halyn my pregnant

ass don't want to miss a thing so a break would be great sheets oh yeah if you're pregnant and the

baby's pushing on the bladder and you've got to sit through three and whatever hours of martin's

gorsese it also depends where you're watching it and where the toilet is because you know like

some of the toilets are like why and you've got to do like a run yeah i always try by the door and

you're like you're right i'll always trot to the bathrooms yeah i go all the time i'll just be i'll

be like i'm getting pretty good at picking when in the movie you can dip out constantly why stirring

a movie yeah me too i feel like i need to go and i'm like i'm not sitting here uncomfortable i've

paid a fortune i'm just gonna nip out real quick i'll be back yeah yeah so then when i'm out there

i'll get another big drink and then i'll climb myself in a endless cycle while i'm out here what

Carmen says if that longer than two hours then yes i do believe yeah yeah you wouldn't want it for

a 90 minute movie but a three hour movie should definitely anything over three have an intermission

yeah anything over two um alex does say ruins the flow excuse the pump yeah that's another

argument too isn't it yeah some movies used to be made they knew that they had we're gonna have

an intermission so they'd have a point i has to be perfectly time-seed cody can't be just midway

through a good bit and it stops for an intermission no you gotta have an end act one you know uh

reanna and uh no grow up and learn how to use the bathroom before the movie or hold on or we're

gonna grumpy reanna where's lisa the problem is so they sell you those giant drinks no like you

don't you know you don't need a little a liter and a half of conical fanta i would never drink

there anywhere else but no movies yeah anywhere else you better oh that is extravagant oh no

i still go bare at the airport at seven o'clock in the morning you're like i wouldn't deer but i'm

at the airport i have a couple yeah it's like at the movies i will get the largest frozen coke

no one to man but only because i'm here sitting in the dark yeah in a fantasy world

that's a little poll 16 past seven next on the show five selfie styles i've got my style i take

a good selfie i'm gonna tell you what these five selfie styles are someone's worked these out is

one of them a boomer one where they don't know they've taken it just that went the wrong way

play it sit in sledge for the night whenever i take a selfie with a group i always say i'll

give me the camera i've got a good selfie arm i did it the other day with the girls actually

so you know when you're in a group someone's like no get in a bit i'm like give it to me

and she's on the side you're like that i've got a good angle good long arm i get everyone in

everyone's looking good it's your big long arm vorn you're also our group selfie kind of take

her with your long arm long arm your long arm i like you you've got you're like a t-rex your

little tiny arms tiny hands take my straw hand i'm answering the taters oh my god that was so

problematic but so funny scary movies all the scary movies are very problematic they've aged

atrocious i cannot even think of the last time i watched one of those scary movies i watched one

of them like a few months back and it was funny which one did you want i can't remember but it

was because they went oh it was the best yeah two was yeah they ended up going to eight or something

yeah i was gonna say they'll go a lot higher than you remember than you remember

second only to fasten the furious thing of selfies this is my selfie style is what the hell is that

oh my stop picking you always pick i do pick oh great use the pimple on the inside of the

end of my nose is gone oh my god i have one there for the last couple of weeks so sore sore and you

just can't get it yeah you just can't get it you can never get it god i'm looking rough team

anyway that's my selfie style is i'm looking rough and six six is rough so a new study's been

psychologists have done a study of the main five main selfie styles okay i saw i was like

what and now i understand it five distinct categories one aesthetics selfies that show

off style or aesthetic experience you know like maybe when we went to that place it was like

the selfie selfie place of the world and had all those weird backdrops oh yeah wasn't that great

and then it had terrible lighting so we all looked like green yeah it was really bad lighting yeah

aesthetics you're just going like look at this i've got a nice house and i look nice it's all

about the aesthetics right the second one is imagination selfies that make viewers imagine

where the selfie taker was or what they were doing so that could be like a do you look like a view

or like a little like downward setup of like a coffee and a notebook but that's not a selfie

that's not a selfie you know you gotta be in a selfie you're self taking the selfie it drives me

nuts when people put their phone on like a timer on a tripod and they're like just a little selfie

or refer to that as a selfie because that's not a selfie but it is a self-timed photo though isn't

it it's a timer it's a time photo yeah selfie i feel you've got to be holding it right yeah i don't

really i don't understand the imagination well i'm trying to find more on it but when we're gonna

get to the one about the ass objects that trigger your imagination so 90% of selfies is someone to

do it so they're saying that every selfie fits into one of these five okay so aesthetics imagination

the next one is traits selfies that are that elicit personality related assumptions so something

about yourself like i'm crazy i'm a wild gal yeah stuff like that like i'm a rock and roll punk gal

that's just who i am uh the next one is states selfies that reveal mood or atmosphere of the

moment like hey guys like just going through some stuff at the moment don't want to talk about it

but you're talking about it yeah but the selfie my advice would be if you don't want to talk about

it you probably wouldn't talk about it yeah right but when you talk about not want to talk about it

you fuel you fuel the one talk about look cute when you're sad like do you know what i mean

is that okay show me what that looked like yeah that's terrible it looks like you sneezed

no see the teenage hailey might have been able to nail the emo angle

emo angle does the ability to do an emo angle without looking like a creep disappears around

you're late you're late 20s i reckon sad i guess now you're just looking at your shoulders yeah

this is these are great these are all great great people to know the state i'm in okay yeah they

don't want to talk about you're a shambles the last one is theory of mind selfies that cause

viewers to make assumptions about the selfie takers motives or identity god that's a bit deep yeah

what about when someone i've noticed if one of these is about dad ass i love i love when i notice

this is when someone's like they haven't hard or soft launched a new boyfriend or girlfriend

but they'll just do a pan and then stop at an arm yeah and they're like that would consider that

a soft launch would that be a soft launch that's a tip of a soft launch okay when they're like in bed

and they're like nuzzled up against the shoulder but they're like that's a soft launch a soft launch

invites questioning whereas a hard launch yeah answers the question but that would that would

go to the motive like that like you say like yeah your motive operandi yeah totally the mo of the

selfie i mean my motive always is tell me i'm pretty okay yeah yeah i'm taking a photo just to

just to have a document of it right tell me i'm beautiful right so you expect that in the comments

every time oh i just i wouldn't don't share that photo you just took before if that's the end game

sorry you should be she was laughing but i don't know if that was a laugh sorry

i was um getting ready for bed yesterday and because we don't have a bathroom like i just

put my selfie mirror and i was like these brows i've got to get done today i've got

pain all over my face like i can't really like look at myself look at this it's just it's just

a mess in here anyway so when i get ready for bed like it's all in the kitchen wash our teeth

brush our teeth in the kitchen i moisturize in the kitchen clean my face in the kitchen god it's

going to be so great when you have a bathroom you're doing the rest of us in the normal world back

to normality and then i went i finished brushing my teeth and that's sort of the last thing i go to

put my get my retainer out of its cup and i was like i've sort of been noticing each day

there's three retainers in there are there do you wear these so you don't chew grind because

you're a grinder i'm a grinder also to keep my teeth straight right straighten them twice and

i'm not painted it again i went to go get my retainer in your teeth braces no they just

yeah i mean i've had braces and and visa line but you wear a retainer at night to keep them

straight right do they still um like even when they're crooked minor crooked and they go pretty

hammer steak when mine uh my i've got bad teeth yeah for sure powdery they're like i've got this

and oh the chipped oh don't do that then oh yeah don't bring them together anyway so i got my

retainer out and i was like man the water in the cup is getting low and i was like how is

evaporating into the room is it you know like what's happening and then i like put two and two

together and i looked over at the reemu bench and there's little muddy pores on there my little

cat has been lapping from my retainer juice yuck it's yuck and wait how please tell me even you

were changing the water every day no not every day but you're putting your retainer in there and

then in your mouth i give the i pull the retainer out of the water and they give a little scrub with

my toothbrush and then i rinse in the tank i chuck it in the cup is just there to keep it

wet yuck yuck do you know why is because i broke on my birthday when i came home like a tornado

i kicked over my cat's cup now he doesn't lap from a bowl will not lap from a bowl whole life

has to have a human glass that he puts his whole snout into and lap from it right since i kicked

over his cup all we had was a bowl so i was like you just have to learn to lap from the bowl but he

won't do it and i see him out on the renovation site lapping from little tarpaulin pools like

this that does my head and you've got this bowl with water in it for cats we've got bowls everywhere

we've got dog water bowls we've got cat water bowls we've got an inside one for the old dog yeah and

then you see a cat outside drinking from the pool i know you're like you're dumb idiot that's like

chlorinated our thylers leave buckets outside under our porch but with water and stuff from

grout or glue that they've you know done with and they'll fill up with water and then just rise

in the lap and the cat's like my owners don't provide me with fresh tap water that gross grout

water before blah blah blah so because he likes the shape i've just got the at the moment my retainers

just in a cup yeah he because he likes the shape he's been you've been basically making out with

your cat yuck for me yuck for all parties concerned for all of it yeah and they're like

so i had to wash them yesterday and like oh really just yuck

now i wouldn't eat a dolphin neither i've said that for a long time i said regardless of how

delicious it might look i don't think i'd eat a dolphin i'm quite stopped eating dolphins i'm

okay so we're all on board no one on the show would eat a dolphin absolutely not

eight one oh jeez man are you got something you need to get off your chest have you eaten a dolphin

no i've seen the cove oh my god i haven't seen it don't want to talk about it uh well you can't

just turn a blind eye to what's happening there i will you need to look it in the eye and face it

i'm against it but i don't want to watch the movie why don't you make a public statement make a public

statement come on i don't i don't like making public well then you can't care about it then

he doesn't care uh well dolphins flesh's favorite um roast meal have joined it's good sushi me that's

because you guys did wonder why i got that really white oven that's why he wholebacks them the nine

the nine hundred white oven wasn't enough no i we went standard six hundred now i wish we'd gone two

six hundreds you know if you're gonna do it if you're gonna do it you might as well do it right

get two six six well i've got a two meter white oven yeah because i whole roast uh miniature

dolphins yeah miniature dolphins pig yeah two meters baby no i could never babies babies fresh from

the world who are we still eating the what what countries are eating dolphins i thought we'd all

stop that where do baby dolphins come out the cloaca no they've got a we're getting wildly we're

getting wildly off topic well we're not really because it is about baby dolphins the earth of a

dolphin researchers have found that uh bottle nose dolphins modify the pitch and range of whistles

when communicating with their calves similar to how humans speak to their children to keep them in

line like well yeah that too but yeah hello and how are you like it's a different it's a higher

pitched tone tone to speak to them uh and then also apparently uh have like special whistles and

clicks for their family you know everybody knew the family the weird family that had a whistle

family didn't we didn't have a whistle we just had a mother who would scream i heard a family

whistling the other day at the supermarket i was like it's so wild cool yeah i've got like a special

call and if you hear that whistle you go towards it it's apparently less embarrassing than yelling

but i don't know if my mum was walking around the supermarket going smiths unite yeah some sort of

uniting yeah yeah we dolphins do it too yeah monkeys bats and songbirds okay i've joined the ranks

we didn't have a specific call to like great but we do have family noises what do you mean family

noise like something that what's the why do you do that to wake up oh my god i wish my mother

done that when she was your mum will come in and go yeah so my mum wakes up everyone and

now that's how we wake up other people no my mum used to just yell at the top of the stairs

curtains open my mum would walk in boot the door open flip the curtains open get up get up and if

you didn't curtains open then rip the deval from there oh no take it with her sometimes very lovely

oh my god that's it's a nice way to wake up yeah what are the noises um

what was that cats oh yeah oh yeah okay yeah that's sort of a wistly version of a

so uh but the this uh jared by the way i want jared dolphin be born i just wanted to know how it

came out that's beautiful whoa that's about it first first i didn't expect it to come fin first

yeah that's a breach situation it's breach was the fin folded when it came out that's a white thing

from our i know i didn't expect the nose to make its way out then oh gosh he's really trying to

wriggle it out producer jared they had different whistles per child in your family really yeah um

what was your one mine was which is fairly classic yeah okay um and then my sister's was like

oh yeah so you had different whistles per child and then your attractive sibling was

and our dog had a separate one and the cockatiels had so your your parents had grouped you up with

the animals with the dog and the cockatiel and it didn't cross my mind until we were at the fishing

shop and my dad whistled for me from the other end and my mate was like dude did your dad just

whistle for you whistle at you yeah i was like yeah families do this yeah yeah come to think of it it

is weird because i've whistled i've been like outside like fingers in the mouth yeah someone's

attention and so when they come out shutters like don't whistle at me i'm not a dog oh yeah yeah so i

can see maybe it's not for everybody but we were wondering this morning your family did your family

have a noise did your family have a whistle or was there a noise you kept an air out for that

meant you know get back here yeah reunite find me let's reconvene maybe the family was spread out

over a warehouse or a kmart yeah and out came the whistle maybe maybe it was embarrassing one

you know those fathers that had those like robust whistles you'd be like that's boring yeah fingers

in the mouth yeah i used the last night trick or treating just to letting them know where i was a lot

of people everywhere just fingers and everyone like polo and then you just put your yeah right

your point at the kid that's yours yeah i was whistling at them we want to know if your family

had a noise or a whistle it's quite a common thing was in the animal kingdom in the animal kingdom

and also in in humans at the mall for the supermarket uh some messages in my mother no do the classic

marco and polo when lost in stores oh yeah it's a classic game of marco polo my friend my parents

have friends called marco and polo really makes me laugh that's real that is real marco polo our

family has a whistle whistle and now it's been passed on to the next generation okay my husband and i

still use it uh my we're an ex-south african family we whistle to locate each other to get

their attention my kids have started and it's brilliant my wife does it too she's a kiwi she's

brought into the whistle lisa does your family have a sound or a whistle uh yeah well they used to

when i grew up i'm old now but um so i grew up on a farm in rural australia and obviously this was

pre mobile phone times so we used to play on the farm and go out all day and if it was dinner time

or there was an emergency we have this massive cow bell it would be about i don't know 40 centimeters

by 40 centimeters and my mum would just ring it and you would hear it literally kilometers away

up to five kilometers away it was a huge farm and if so even if we were up a tree or whatever

you knew if you heard the bell there was either a fire or it was dinner time or whatever we had

to come home this genius is quite quite a big gap between fire and dinner time though well you know

in Australia it's like she would only ring it if we absolutely had to be home right he didn't

ring it like it would ring like once a week type i'm not saying she didn't ring it clearly nearly

yeah no it must have been loud yeah you had to come home it was hugely loud the neighbors could

hear it what about your poor old mum ringing the bell she must have heard a big big rope on it

and farmers live amazing uh lisa thank you keep your messages coming in nine six nine six eight

hundred dals at n uh your family's noises how are you summoned we'll get to more of those next

we're talking about your family's whistles and noises that you use to communicate because it

turns out dolphins now according to scientists are just like humans got their own little call for

the kids to get back to them and change the tone of how they speak to their kids voices

go a little bit higher and stuff well that's how i thought that was angry that was angry

dolphin they go oh there's your kid hello uh shawna what's your family's noise so um me and

my mum we if we go out in public because we're only whistle so i'm only five foot one if there's

five foot three maybe oh god you get full on a paddle yeah pretty much and um we both have to

wear glasses but sometimes uh we don't so we can't see long distances either so we get lost in the

crowds of people so if i see her and i i need her i want her attention i will just do a one

like tone whistle at her and she will stop dead in her track like what give us a show us um

but then but okay and so she'll just know instantly because you know that's a thing i guess if you're

shorter in a crowd you can't just be like hey over here no but pretty much and like she like so when

i was younger i used to just go up to somebody in the shop and be like i've lost my mom and they'll

make her and she get real embarrassed so now i just do like this whistle and she'll stop dead

in her tracks and just basically pivot on the spot scanning the crowd or the place and she'll

find me and then she'll be like oh but if i'm looking for her and i can't see her to whistle to her um

i can sound her out by the jingle of her keys or her jewelry oh yeah i can hear she's got a lot of

jangle a lot of jangles yeah uh shawna thank you for your call uh sierra what's your family's noise to

communicate chicken are you a chicken my daughter's at home right now looking around for one of us

oh my god we don't use this as like a um you know a symbol but kind of more like a chicken you know

like you'll be in the warehouse and you couldn't see one of the kids so you'd just be like

oh my god i love that's gonna get to an age soon where that's embarrassing though mom well the

children are now 20 and 17 and you never stopped all through the teenage years i love that so good

and actually i was out on a bushwalk a couple of months ago with my daughter who's 17 and we were

making this noise because we couldn't see each other and i came across another walker and she

goes oh my gosh can you hear that bird oh shut up oh my god yes it's the elusive wild giant chicken

yeah the wild chicken oh brilliant that's so good sierra i'm just about the bush isn't it weird in

the bush when your sounds just disappear they just get absorbed by the trees yes yes it's like

nature's you're just yelling and it's just it's not getting anywhere it's just getting absorbed

by the tree yeah it is that's just it's just love she's not there it's got a cork or there and that

seems to go through the bush through the bush like the birds it's just amazing i've always been

fascinated thank you sierra fascinated if my kids and i don't answer my husband he just yells out

ears and that means ears i like listen okay um had a female colleague that hated it uh went to

a meeting one day in separate cars she was across the road i used the whistle and her head popped up

like a meerkat it was just like an automatic reaction it works um i'm deaf and blind on one

side of my partner uses a cock call to alert me of walking into somebody so the blind one side

oh just take the other way yeah i know that if we're walking down the road and we want to like

alert the other to like something we've found entertaining that we don't want to verbally

say hey look at that person yeah we squeeze there we'll grab the hand to hold it and squeeze the

side of the hand that they need to look oh yeah and then if they look that way they don't do it

then you grab the hand and angle it the hand angle towards the thing that's good that's good

and then what are you looking and laughing at just dumpers they just big beautiful dumpers

peachy dump beautiful peachy dumpers walking past these ones out

this we do year on year off my christmas erin's christmas you know like we spend this year as

a courtesy christmas next year as sprout christmas yep but because my brother uh we haven't spent a

lot of time together my family we're we're having a sprout christmas christmas as well on the 20th

right so my brother and his partner are coming over from melbourne to Auckland and my mum and

dad are coming up from the water to Auckland and we're doing it at my house which currently doesn't

exist which is absurd that you're getting a toilet today you're getting a toilet today that's nice

toilet today we have a show there'll be there'll be beds for them to sleep them um but yesterday i

was like erin asked me like what do you want for christmas can i just say it's 53 days away

today you're fantastic i just looked it up my lord yeah i love christmas uh yes we want to

want for christmas there's a couple of things i want one is a new sound system for my car because

i've blown out the speakers so when you listen to it just rattles and it's awful yeah um the second

thing is i want a drum kit because you don't want to get back into learning drums yeah you don't ask

nah just small stuff yeah that's small stuff third new deadly pony's handbag yeah now there's

cheapest chips yeah uh fourth diamond ring for my pinky yeah just like small little trinkets stuff

you'd find in a cracker you know yeah yeah yeah yeah like crack over a cracker and there's an outie in

there like what will there be a nice surprise everything you mentioned is just going in the

santa stack yeah and then there'll be a big gift and then the main gift will be breast lift

oh my god you're allowed to ask for for christmas but he darent suggest good lord the wrath

he would feel like they opened up a plastic surgery voucher didn't you have this argument with

recently yeah yeah you would just say you wanted it and then he would get it for you and you would be

like firstly sir how dare you that is not that is not the answer so you've asked him for it and then

he gets no i said something like oh god uh because i'd put on weight i was like man

i feel like i feel like one now i'm gonna get a breast lift that noise if that happens yeah

gentleman everywhere yeah and ladies who see ladies yeah yeah you're about to be tested yeah

i said something about like oh god you know i've stretched out my boobs i'm gonna have to get a

bloody breast list breast breast lift and instead of him being like my love you have immaculate breasts

which is what she wanted this is how he would pass the test yeah picture his phone for a bit and then

went not that expensive travel a travel what she did a check for she pointed him it was like he was

going orienteering yeah and she pointed them at a dangerous dangerous cliff yes now they're gone

the other way there's a bridge yeah but he's like well she's pointed me at this dangerous cliff so

i guess i'm orienteering along here he didn't know that turning around was an option and then she

pushed him off the cliff god bless him yeah please god bless him yeah anyway so he asked me what i

wanted for christmas and then i asked him and he was like i don't want anything like look around

we've got this house you know all the money is going into there and i said you know what actually

yeah man like i want a rug i want bedside cabinets those are the gifts and then i was thinking about

christmas of my family and i was like what are we doing my brother's spending a fortune to come over

from mel but my parents are spending a fortune they've just been in europe for bloody five months

so i just sent the i sent the message are they really yeah and the Mercedes needs a bit of a

tune up the last thing we need them to be thinking about is presents yeah i mean i'm just like just

yeah they're renovating three of their four homes at the moment i mean it's just a financial tap for

them yeah anyway so i put together the group of sprout christmas 2023 and i said here's the suggestion

i know we're all miles out but we're gonna get busy i was like we're thinking mum mum's making

entree dan ara on the on the barbecue on the legged lamb i'm gonna do the the ham and the

veg and sam and nina can do the thing and instead of presents you presented a present instead of

presents will each come up with a cocktail and we'll make it perfect i like that yeah it's very

you so and immediately because i was like we always do presents at christmas immediately

everyone was like thank god yes thank god yes here we go thank you i think a lot do you think a lot

of big families will be doing that or just going to a secret Santa where you just buy one or a greeny

Santa or a silly Santa or whatever and you just do a $20 gift or something oh i'm so relieved and

i've seen about changing religions this could be entire getting the days off and then just going

back to being a heathen uh i like jan jan one yeah not a bad one heathen my news

yesterday i picked up my secret christmas decorations as well which erin doesn't have

bought isn't that great they're in my boot they have to stay there for a month right another

another reason she doesn't want to do presents because she spent all the money on this on decorations

on decorations yeah because what day do i get my christmas tree to see me first i'm so excited

i've got birds it's bird and floral themed yeah nice it'll look good hey we've actually put up an

ogre because that's a interesting question what do you want for christmas this year because some

people it's necessities some people they want fun things still we put up a what i feel like every

year there's the must have thing that people want but what is it this year or do you think

people are just in peace in the middle east i mean that would be great i'll go i'll go without

yeah i'll go without my present peace worldwide well because there's always every year you talk

about there's always a gift and it's usually for the girlies like what is that gift of the year

last year was the dyson ear rack oh yes yes you got one year before you'd say i don't know there's

just a covid vaccine oh it's all they want for christmas it's not a lockdown it's the jab

we just put up a little box on our instagram tell us what you want for christmas we'll work out what

the um what the gift is of the year yes and then we can get some great ideas if you are

buying something for someone so yeah give us your suggestions what do you want uh fvhzm on

instagram what do you want for christmas i'm gonna do it drum kit drum kit drum kit drum kit

drum kit and someone messaged in it's nerf or nothing oh yes i love that every hour we all

just got about i've still got that nerf one that's just like duk duk duk duk duk duk duk duk

yeah that's a good one now people shit their pants when you boot open the door of the lounge

and you're like oh god

firstly i have a vaughn smith cynical mind has spotted something okay with halloween

yes um this uh brownsband torbay pay it forward somebody posted saying parents check your children's

halloween candy my 14 year old went out trucker trading with some friends and both manly and

stand more bay and when he came home i checked what he got and i found a tiny bag of what looked

like little willies in his trick-or-treat bag um have any appearance appearance found anything

like this now somebody just messaged on the text machine saying it's pretty funny uh but around

kaffia uh some kids were trick-or-treating and they got little bags of candy willies i shouldn't

be laughing yeah my thought you reckon this is it's advertising oh for the place that the the

bags of the willies have the website address on the front quite large and prominently yeah so i

think these people who own this business who i've checked does work and it is an existing website

you think it's some genius i think it's genius marketing i think it's genius gorilla marketing

and so who normally buys these candy willies like you can send somebody anonymously no no

if you like someone annoys you and you they're carrying on like a a penis yeah you can um you

can anonymously send them but yeah i'm message i'd love i'd love that yeah well maybe it's not

for a mortal a mortal enemy but are they sour though because that wouldn't be fun if they were

yuck i can't i can't talk to the taste of haven't had that okay yeah right i had the taste of that

there are different colors willy lolly like these are a few of my favorite things do you know what

yeah it's like a few boxes for me sure they look like a a candied little candied willie oh

so maybe like nerd i'd imagine they look like a nerd but probably not more like those you know

those hard tiny fruits yeah i know the ones that's what i read bananas and stuff yeah that's what i

reckon they taste like you went out trick or treating was it last night the big night or did

most people do it a lot of people did it at the weekend but we went out last night because it's

halloween you got to go on halloween the weather wasn't looking in our favor um but it held out

we just just finished and then it pulled down so yeah it was bucketing yesterday yeah so just

got him before that but i went with august and her friend and we walked around and they said

that we're gonna walk in front and i could just walk behind we was indeed well that's the story

i'm gonna get to next because she asked if she was allowed to go just trick or treating with her

friends like get dropped over to friends house no chef no chef get ready together no chaperone

no trick or treat no uncool dad say daries yeah then we're going back for dinner at their place

and then i'll call you later when i need to be picked up i know on a school night so i just say

i said yeah that's fine uh don't be at like seven o'clock when you said you're going to be ready

be messaging saying we're still not there or like i'm not ready yet keep but deal with that earlier

this is where phones are good yeah because you could text and be like hey where are you whereas

with us it was like you just sit at home being like just waiting just waiting for one news

breaking news about i don't even think our parents are thinking that

they'll like they'll come back now there's a good guarantee and then you walk in the door you walk

in the door a little late your parents are like oh god damn it where have you been then they have

to pretend they care yeah you come here let me smell you yeah so i went with august and then we

went home and indy was out trick or treating and then shade's like what are you doing and i was

doing like prep for today's show seeing what we can talk about and i had my phone open sitting on a

cradle beside me with find my devices and indy's phone and i was just like watching her walk i'd

be like she well actually i'd she's walking into an area and that's got bad reception in there i

feel i might lose my tracking soon and shade's like she's all right she can be trusted the deal

with your girls having the phone is that they know that you they you can track them i mean they're

not hiding from you at this age and i'm not tracking because i don't trust her i just don't

trust anybody else i don't trust god damn soul it's everybody else out there

well i there was that time august went to the party and i tagged her with an apple

he had put your tag on her jeans on the loot and then put it in the little coin pocket and i was

like don't touch that leave it alone and then was it beeping the whole time i never be because it's

got to have it she's got to have a phone with it she's got to have a phone around otherwise it

wouldn't be beeping now horn can i read out the synopsis to the black mirror episode archangel

oh we're in this episode the mother enrolls her daughter in a trial of archangel an implanted

technology which allows her to track serah's location current vision and hearing and automatically

senses distressing material we're not far away from that episode

vorn i was just making sure she wasn't being abducted by a because if you're going to abduct

halloween's the night to do it because everybody's dressed up and stuff yeah right okay so i was

that was all i was making sure how long before she turns off because you know fine friends you

can just flick the switch it's on she's on the family thing i will re-enable it and then disable

all aspects of that phone apart from the tracking device and then she'll be scooping up cow poop

it's not her i'm worried about it's the other one but do you literally spend the whole time

she was away looking at fine friends no not the whole time not the whole time

not the whole time to tip her eyes off it didn't take her eyes off it and then i want to say she

was moving really fast and i was like abducted in a van she's abducted in a van yeah but then

there wasn't it was the her friend's mom had come and picked them up because it was running

oh so all was well which is a way better outcome than being abducted in a van yeah do they get

any good candy dude i've got to say people really stepped up this year with the candy really i was

expecting you cost a living crisis we're going to be getting a lot of those like really trashy

individually wrapped cheap nonsense yeah no there was some good stuff some Reese's peanut butter

some like marshmallow ropes you got to go took a training in the affluent suburbs

get the good king well did you see there's a there's a stir in the hero this morning of that

street and remu wearer that like gets into it let's hand out dollars thousands and thousands of

children like not a car could go down there thousands of children trying to get the rich

people yeah they're like i'll wear the street that doesn't know remu wearer

fact of the day day day day day

today's fact of the day is the third uh and friends week after some passing of Matthew Perry

which by the way this uh song the friends theme song uh had over a 1.3 million streams

on the date since then since since his death uh and that wasn't an article i read yesterday

the Rembrandt's thank you it's very sad yeah they are friend the friends cast made a joint

statement yesterday and basically saying we'll say something later where i have the exact

oh please do it we're also utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew we were more than just

cast mates we are a family there is so much to say but right now we're going to take a moment

to grieve and process process this unfathomable loss and time will say more uh as and when we're

able for now our thoughts and level with Matt his family his friends and everyone who loved him

around the world oh i saw Ross was out yesterday and there was a he was wearing a mask yeah and do

you think he wears a mask because he's worried about COVID or because he doesn't want to be

recognized he doesn't want to be recognized yeah especially at the moment he wants to be

wearing on was he wearing a mask before sunday don't know that's just a question i had i think

it would be to disguise this maybe he was but it would have been to disguise this space yeah

so people weren't constantly yelling pivot which i'm imagining is one of the things they yell at

him yeah but it is friends uh fact of the day week theme whatever that's i've got to find a bit

of what to say that anyway i don't care enough um i thought we could talk about the money they make

okay so it started out they were paid $25 000 per uh episode that was the first 22 and a half

thousand US dollars per episode for the first season by the end of it they were getting over

one million dollars each an episode it was one of the most expensive tv shows to make and it was

all in the cast yeah it was like they were using the same sets that always used very little of it

was it shot outside the primary sets but by that stage this was syndicated all over the world and

you could tell it was going to be repeated for every day just magic yeah so that's they were paid

a million dollars per episode but they also got in the in the last few seasons buy into syndication

rights and the money they made off that so now each member of the friends cast is approximately

making 20 million dollars a year on reruns yeah they were so smart with those negotiations and

they did it as a team uh yep they had negotiated together and because they were nothing without

all of them were they nothing without the cast they wanted no one to be the lead no one to be

more important and then like some of them were getting more famous like tuna for aniston was

going off and doing lots of other work yeah actually as was matthew perry more it was matthew

perry uh working on another role that got bruce willis to appear on friends we talked about this

briefly yesterday they did a movie called the whole nine yards together and he said matthew perry

said to bruce willis if this movie opens number one you come into a stint on friends and bruce

willis is like do you know how hard it is to get a movie to open number one it's impossible matthew

perry's like i've got a good feeling about this open number one so he came and did his stint on

friends bruce willis uh who was a massive movie star at the time and it was quite the get and

donated all of his uh appearance fee yeah to charity good man well no good man he's not doing

too well at the moment he's like oh yeah uh i could not find how much they paid paul rudd

oh yeah but paul rudd said he uh really tried because they were like you're going to be married

to feeby he's like well that's kind of makes me a pretty close to top tier character i'm going to

try to get on some of these residuals teddy they were just like no paul rudd he's like fair enough

yeah good call i pushed the mark sorry couldn't find how much brad pit got paid to do it either

that was apparently well wrapped up and kept quiet but it was because he was dating jenna

franca at the time yeah um the guy that played gunther for the first episode was paid five thousand

dollars his final appearance was paid forty thousand dollars for the last lot of episode runs he did

shoot five thousand dollars put in perspective of what like new zealand tv stars get paid yeah

five thousand for back then and for a small role is a lot of money yeah yeah at lead actors on new

zealand tv shows we wouldn't make five thousand at fortnight or would like chris warner you imagine

be like five thousand a week or something so then yeah his last episode was forty thousand dollars

and col sprouse who played ross's son yes it was in second cody yeah sweet life of second cody

yeah uh so he got paid twenty thousand dollars for his first episode and twenty thousand dollars

for his last episode so he got paid the same oh wow isn't too much nah i guess he was just the

cute kid right how much did the monkey get paid no word on the monkey getting my cell didn't get

paid my cell was also a female monkey i don't know if everybody knows it yes i did not know that

well now you do well yeah so today's fact of the day is the members of the friends cast make

approximately 20 million dollars per year on the residuals from reruns fact of the day day day day

day

okay it's time for the impossible phone and topic a topic we think is some possible we won't get

any calls or many yeah but when we do got it's always so good yeah so i read an article yesterday

about a woman she's 32 years old she's married she has uh i'm trying to try a 15 thousand dollars

yeah in a hidden bank account that her husband doesn't know about so she was like yeah i've just

got this safety money it's just for me he doesn't need to know about it all of our finances are combined

except this except this and she was like look i know that maybe i should come clean and i just

i've i didn't grow up with money and i now that i have some i just want to have this little bit

that it's not it's not to go shopping it's not like naughty money it's just like what if

what if i needed to leave what if she's not in danger by the way she's just what if i needed to

leave yeah but like what if i just needed some money because that's the first thing you think of

right is that this person isn't banking on their relationship last thing yeah so they've got money

i've been assigned yeah they've got an exit plan yeah she said when it came to um combining all of

their bank accounts when that decision was made she said impulsively i just decided to omit one of

my accounts not a lie not quite a truth yeah and over time i've stashed away some savings

from working since i was young and most of the money goes into the family but i just keep a little

bit to myself what so what about that moment where something happens maybe someone gets injured they

can't work or for whatever reason they're in dire straits they need money and then the wife or the

husband says oh it's okay i've got 20 grand here yeah how is that going to go down i don't know

i know but anyway so reading this article further 40 of those in couples have money their

partners don't know about born nope there is no money to speak i spend money no about

it wouldn't be saved it would just be spent do you think that's why people do it because they

know their partners cannot be trusted all that they just spend maybe like we've got our separate

accounts that are for business and then all of our other stuff is all joined yeah but sometimes if

there's a little coin rattling around in business it doesn't find its way to the joint finds its

way to mooching yeah it finds its way to little treaties yeah i have actually heard you out of

their words i can just spend this before Aaron sees it yeah i'll just spend that from a business

account yeah transfer now uh so that's our impossible phone is personal drawings taking a

tax hit on that that's what i always say shut us up but there's some money in that one i'm like that

we ever that would be personal drawings would take a tax hit on that so add another 30% to

whatever you're paying will you want me to take take a tax hit do you yeah big tax it we wanted to

know as our impossible phone is do you have a secret fund yes that your partner doesn't know about

and how much do you have i mean you don't want to tell us that you can just tell us anonymously yeah

and you just even to say you've got a a secret fund stash aside you don't need to say how much

or you can just say it's big it's big or maybe you won lotto and you just decided to not tell

your partner oh my god Aaron told me once because he's like i wouldn't tell my family i was like i

tell mine then he was like i don't know if i'll tell you i reckon i'd notice he's got a fair point

though he does have a fair point when we talk about the first thing we do with that money

they are different things yeah okay oh 800 dials at end for the impossible phone and

topic give us a call now you can text her as well 9 6 9 6 do you have a secret fund of money and why

well the impossible phone and topic do you have a big old secret fund that you are hiding now this

study was out of america not new zealand but it said what 40 percent of people have a secret fund

secret savings account that their partner doesn't know about now whether that's just you know

a hundred dollars or thousands who knows but do you have one that is a question and i tell you what

it is not impossible because there are so many calls kate do you have a secret account or did you

do yes i do um and did certainly but by the way um long time listen the first time

i can feel it i can feel it i can feel it yeah okay what so you just recently separated and

you had a secret account yes i didn't see this coming after 25 years of being together blah

blah blah blah but things were getting a little bit interesting um but you kind of you kind of

did it because you had a secret account you didn't see it coming but you kind of because you said

a secret account well a friend basically said to me i suggest that you start scrolling away from

money oh so you started scrolling away when you sort of felt maybe this wasn't forever anymore

no i thought it was still forever but as i say decisions yeah parts of kids and things

weren't making any sense and i thought you should be backing me okay and then so you

screwed some away what was it a lot or just enough that he didn't get his hands on it

but then in the separation process don't you have to be honest about your assets and stuff right

well you have to be honest about jack shite as far as i'm concerned it's just as all is doing

amazing okay thank you thank you for sharing katelyn uh you have a secret account

yes i do and your your partner has no idea about it no and it will stay that way because my partner

is um very different to me he doesn't believe in saving and if he knew about this account he'd be

like oh let's go and spend that and i know you don't want to die with money in the bank is it

enough for a nice holiday and barley though together well i mean it would yes but um

um well you got a baby there as well got a baby in a secret account there's not two things i had

to mention i don't know that the baby's secret the baby's secret the baby's not secret i did i do have

well i mean when we found out we were pregnant i started up an account for our son and originally

i didn't tell him about it but then i was like well i can tell him about that one because i mean i

can just use the whole well that just sums money so yeah yeah so it counts yeah it's amazing it's

a christmas he's like i've got amazing news our son bought me a jet ski

oh my god what a generous guy that's so kind uh katelyn thank you

i'm loving these calls and messages and the impossible phone and topic today do you have a

secret bank account like a stash of money that your partner doesn't know about it i stand out of

america 40 of people do yeah and i'm like how do you get away with it a friend of mine an old

friend of mine just thinks you'd be like yeah man i've got one like wow okay uh cat joins us

cat you've got a secret fund yeah good morning can i just point out a theme you've had a kate

a katelyn and a cat oh my gosh it's spooky woody it's spooky woody wednesday

oh my god uh well good observation normal like when i was growing up i was always told you know

and like before i got married i was reminded like you know women especially should have

like their own fund for some sort of independence especially if you're gonna be a stay-at-home mom

and not have an income come in for a while you should have some money like in case you even need

to leave so you're not entirely dependent upon you know your partner yeah i just take this money

though yeah wow and so does your partner know about yours your secret fund

it would know knows um he doesn't he knows about um one thing because i got an inheritance

oh yeah um so he knows that i squirrel dad away but he doesn't know about other money that i've put

oh wow and then here's let's see that could be a nice holiday to barley for everybody couldn't that

holiday to barley for you god do you want to buy a flight to barley man

you can go to barley if you want you're allowed thank you so much for sharing uh some messages in

so many i've got nine thousand dollars just in case money we've got two kids somebody i said i've

got a little over half a million dollars hidden away oh my god let's not let's go to barley all of us

save how do you that you would have had that before you met there's no way i could skim

half million dollars i only earn 20 000 a year he's like being the ceo of wickles

wickles i don't know that you went there uh i have a secret savings uh account and

investments as well and when we're applying for our home loan i had to come clean with that and

boy was i and it's just what i said to you before during the ad break i was like what about when

people apply for mortgages and all their all your accounts come out yeah because you don't you have

to be honest with the bank so if you have a say you've got a loan with asb yeah but you've got a

westpac and an a and z asb doesn't have any access to those accounts but i thought they could see on

a system that you've got an account i don't know how banks work um let's know they take your money

i have seen them they're out to kill you across multiple bank accounts uh all i'd probably be

just over 25 000 my partner's a spender whenever he sees money i'm a saver i don't have access to

two of these accounts unless i go into the bank oh wow so because i don't want them to be on the

internet banking because then you'll see that there's money yeah but what happens when they

finally close all the bank branches your money just disappears they keep it oh you pretty just

go in and they just give it all to you and first yeah okay then you got a whole lot of cash uh it's

officially called a run fund i don't have one but i think people should have them i've had two

friends have had partners leave without warning in the run fund kicks in it was it do you ever

watch a tv show i think i got cancelled it was phoebe wallabridge and it was called run yeah and

her and a friend had this thing where if they text each other and said run they'd just meet and run

away together because they want to i assume one of them did yeah they did first episode um yeah they

did first episode you know the point i reckon someone text run yeah yeah because you'd need that

time to set up the yeah dynamic uh been married for 33 years and have an account for rainy days

for 25 000 husband would spend on his bloody motorcycle if he knew it existed wow so it's

great to be able to help out the kids if they need it because he'll never have anybody

i reckon i reckon the husband's got a secret motorcycle fun though as well yeah yeah my best

friend got an inheritance from his grandma of 300 000 that his girlfriend of four years has no idea

about oh i've got 45 46 000 saved in a just just in case account

uh wow this is really like a lot more people than we thought right yeah i keep all our money

is secret from my husband because he keeps forgetting his login details from the banking app

so he doesn't know how much money he's got at any given time easy well congratulations to you

podcast listen you've reached the end so i would assume if you've listened all this way through

you'll either asleep in which case wake up or don't you enjoyed it so drop us a review and tell

you friends that's how podcasts work zm's fledge vonan hailey

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