ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 19th October 2023

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McAfay coffee with my MACAs rewards.

Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

Big day, big day, big day.

Big day, we've got our live show tonight

at Auckland Sky City Theatre.

Mm-hmm.

You're jazzed, you've got your piano in.

The piano's been dragged in.

I just...

That's why I was touching my breasts just then.

Because I wasn't sure what bra I was wearing

and whether or not I brought a better bra,

and I have, I just remembered.

You've got a suitcase and a day bag.

No, the day bag's for the Gime,

because we're going to the Gime together,

and it's got shower stuff in it.

Okay.

The suitcase has, you know,

your hair, your makeup, your other parts.

Did you bring a suitcase?

Well, I didn't bring a suitcase.

I brought a paper bag.

You're always going to have a suitcase to the theatre, darling.

I didn't bring a suitcase.

But I'm going home.

I was just going to get changed and then come back.

Right.

It's a whole ritual for me to, you know,

to, you know...

Yeah, you've got...

...transform into the...

Yeah, very exciting actor.

Friend of the show.

Friend of yours.

Dear friend for many years.

Opening.

Eli Matheson.

Eli Matheson.

One of the funniest comedians.

So we'll see you there tonight

if you've got your tickets.

It is sold out.

Yeah, if you don't.

So no pressure.

Soccer.

Tomorrow is about the long weekend group, too.

Ahead of the day off on Monday for Labor Day.

Labor Day.

Excited about that.

Coming up on the show, the top six.

And Ponsonbee in Auckland.

This is some absolute nonsense.

Name one of the coolest suburbs in the world.

Ponsonbee sucks.

And...

I'll go on record.

There's nothing in Ponsonbee

that can't be found in other suburbs.

Cheaper.

With better parking.

In the rest of the country.

Got some good food.

Also, yeah.

And that's the only suburb in New Zealand

that made the list.

Oh, really?

Yeah, dude.

Okay, well now I'm shocked.

Yeah.

I for one am a ghost.

A ghost.

I am a ghost.

I'm a ghost, darling.

Top six soon.

Another top six other suburbs

from around New Zealand

better than Ponsonbee.

Nice.

Speak up for the little guy.

One from each major city.

I'm gonna start the show next

with some really bad news, guys,

because news headlines are out of Australia.

An iconic Aussie dessert company

has collapsed into administration.

And these desserts and these treats

are in our supermarket freezes.

Don't say it.

What does this mean?

Don't say it.

What does this mean?

Panicky bulk bite.

Panicky bulk bite.

Maybe.

Panicky bulk bite.

There may have to be today.

Panic people.

Detailed jokes.

I'm shocked on my spit,

but I am also very emotional about this.

Well, news headlines are out of Australia

overnight.

An iconic Aussie dessert company.

Sirely?

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely?

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

Sirely.

I'm pretty sure it's Sira.

I've always said Sirely.

Because Australians go Sira.

Apple pies, cheesecakes, frozen.

I know it was the apple pies.

No one was getting necessarily apple pies.

I didn't grab a list of the apple pies.

Frozen chocolate desserts, including beer,

would always buy.

Mum would always buy the chocolate Barbarian.

Or the Barbarian.

She was the chocolate Barbarian.

They were so good.

They were so good.

I mean, they are so good.

Your punish weren't real quick though.

Easily.

Like your family are four quarter-aged gone.

They're small.

Yeah.

You could almost do one-eightch.

Well, the company Nolan for its favorite desserts

for more than 50 years, started in New South Wales.

It has gone into voluntary administration.

Now, the idea is that the appointment of administrators,

I don't know what any of this means.

It means people come in, right?

And take over the company.

Right.

It's intended to seek a restructuring and a sale

of the Sierra Leigh-Sara Leigh business

while continuing operations.

It's Sarah.

Sarah.

It's Sarah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sarah Leigh.

I would imagine they're still going to be in supermarkets.

They'd be.

In New Zealand?

There's been no...

Aaron loves the cheesecake.

The strawberry cheesecake.

Oh, dude, the strawberry cake.

I'm not a huge strawberry guy,

but strawberry cheesecake.

Straight from the freezer.

He won't even let it defrost.

He's forkin' that thing.

He's loving it.

Oh, you'd always fork a chocolate Barbarian

when it was icy.

Chip away.

Oh, yeah, chip away.

Chip away.

Oh, my gosh.

Chip away.

Well, yeah, at this stage, that's not great news, is it?

So maybe stock up, like you say, panic buy a few.

Yeah, definitely panic buy.

Put them in the freezer.

Get a few toilet rolls while you're at it as well,

just in case we get short on those.

We almost need some morning music,

and I could read it like an in-memoriam

of some of their better products.

Of like, yeah, Chip.

Well, I mean, they're not dead yet.

They're in...

Basically, they're in ICU, Vaughn.

To use an analogy, they're in ICU.

They could pull through.

I don't think no one pulls through.

Pull the cord.

No one pulls through.

They could just pull the cord.

Pull the plug.

They'll pull through, but there'll be a reversible download.

You're telling me...

You sing the arms of an angel, and I'll read out it.

The deluxe chocolate salted caramel semifredo.

Chocolate.

Varian cheesecake.

It's under strawberry Kool-Aid cheesecake.

The baked chocolate ganache.

Oh, the ganache.

Baked cheesecake.

The deep-dish apple crumble pie.

Okay, they're not...

Sarely's not dead yet.

I feel like this is not premature.

Sticky date pudding.

Oh, always room for a little bit of pudding.

I can't get through the song.

Are you going to say the chocolate barbarian?

I thought I said chocolate barbarian at the start.

Chocolate barbarian.

Yeah, I did.

Creamy tiramisu.

Oh, that's a good one.

That's a bloody good, subtle good one.

Triple chocolate chunk.

Oh, barbarian.

In the eyes of the angel.

I did ice cream.

But you're telling me that this huge company

and all their delicious desserts at New Zealand

is, I'm sure, nom up.

And Australians.

We nom, nom, nom.

There's trouble.

Surely not.

I think people are getting bougie.

People are getting too bougie.

We're moving away.

We think we're better than Sarely.

We're not better than Sarely.

Absolutely, we're not.

We're not better than Sarely.

Fingers crossed, they can pull through.

This is obviously news out of Australia.

I don't know if New Zealand operations are any different.

Devastating news, actually.

I think this is an ongoing.

This is a thoughts and prayers, for me, to be honest.

For me, it's also thoughts and prayers.

I don't do a lot of thoughts and prayers.

Did their boxed cakes make it to our shores?

Or we said we're an Edmunds-dominated market?

Yeah, I'm sure.

They did the Danish food.

They did a blueberry Danish.

You walked down the frozen food section.

There is a lot of competition.

Oh, there's a lot of that there.

But Sarely, you know what you're getting.

I know.

Well, thoughts and prayers.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Bloody prisoner of the quiet here, mate.

Yeah, he knows.

He knows.

He knows.

We know.

I know.

Let's thoughts and prayers out.

Yeah.

Actually, can we get some?

If you just want to send thoughts and prayers,

social media, 9-6-9-6, we're taking thoughts and prayers

for Sarely later.

Thank you.

Next on the show.

Amanda Knox, who you may remember

was accused of killing her roommate.

Yes.

But was proven innocent.

Yeah, there's a Netflix.

There's been many dockos on it.

Yeah, indeed.

Well, she's actually gone viral for something even more

scandalous than that.

Play, Zerims, Fletch, Vaughan, and Haley.

Now, Amanda Knox, who I mentioned,

she was she kind of got her following

but by being proven innocent in 2015

for the murder of her roommate.

This is when they were in Italy?

Yeah, they were in Italy.

So what's in whatever the latest Netflix doco was on that?

Yeah, same-sided eye.

And then she was acquitted of that.

And the fine who actually killed that?

The woman?

I don't know.

I can't remember.

I think they were just a really shorty investigation.

Yeah, they're too busy, bloody having a bloody pristico

in the morning and a little bloody sleep in the afternoon.

Well, anyway, she after this is like a mess,

but of a large social media following as a mom and as a,

you know, I don't know, a person, a human being.

But now she's gone viral for something

that has the internet aghast, basically.

Every night, she says her and her husband,

who are expecting their chicken baby, chicken baby,

switch sides of the bed every single night.

So they alternate?

Alternate.

They alternate.

It is.

It's alternate.

It's the alternate.

They alternate.

They do.

She said, you've been doing it wrong.

The correct way to sleep with your partner

is to swap sides of the bed every night.

Better for your body, especially if you spoon,

yeah, for like 10 seconds,

as you'll be laying on opposite shoulders each night,

which I get that.

I kind of get that.

Because you've got your, you've got your good side.

But I also roll from side to side.

She must be in a constant spin.

Oh, yeah, right.

She must always be a little spin.

Yeah.

It would be easier if you just didn't,

you come together for a bit and then separate

and don't touch each other again for the rest of the night.

Yeah, that's the perfect way to sleep.

Yeah.

Small, short cuddle until I go far out.

It's too hot.

Yeah, get off me.

Don't touch me.

Yeah, why are you swatting hands away?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where I'm like arching away.

Yeah.

Because it's very hot in the groin area.

That's where the heat's kept between the butt.

You reach around and have a fiddle with the bits.

And you're like, is this happening?

And they're like, it's not happening.

And you're like, all right, then screw you.

You screw you, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You roll away.

You're like, oh, this is a nice cuddle.

No, not that kind of cuddle.

Well, get out then.

I've been getting signs all afternoon that it was on.

Yeah, if I don't sleep in the spare room,

I don't want to be there.

Anyway, apparently that's the way that she was like,

you've got to do it, you've got to move around.

I feel, did we do this to Silly Little Pole a while back?

Do you, like, do you change?

And there were a small minority people that did change it up.

They didn't have a specific side of the bed.

Yeah, we did a Silly Little Pole.

You're right.

They would get to bed and the person would be like,

oh, this is just my side tonight.

And the other partner's like, OK, well, I guess this is my side.

Yeah, no, same.

Got out of the same side every night.

You sleep alone most of the time.

When, which side do you sleep on?

Well, I have the left side and Major Murray Fluffington

has the right side.

Close to the wall.

He has no cats inside.

Yes, cats in the bed.

No cats on the bed.

No animals inside.

I'll cling to the side so that Rolly is so comfortable.

I do a sweep of the house every night before bed

and make sure there are no animals inside.

Oh, my God.

He's just so mean.

He's so mean.

So mean.

Mean, dad.

Mean.

Top six is next on the show.

The top six suburbs better than Ponsonby.

Ponsonby, I'll tell you who said that this is one

of the best suburbs in the world.

It's been named one of the coolest in the whole world.

I definitely like parts of it.

A few good bars, eateries, fancy shops.

Yeah.

I'm really happy to leave.

I spat on it.

Did you spit on Ponsonby?

I spit on it.

Well, the top six other suburbs that are better.

Yep.

Next.

Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Ailey from the self-driving ZM

think tank.

This is the top six.

Look, hello there.

Last year, Kingsland was the cool Auckland suburb.

Kingsland rules.

Kingsland's a bit gritty.

But it's cool, funky town.

So this isn't a list of New Zealand's callers.

It's the world's 40 worldwide suburbs

that are the greatest place for food, fun, culture,

and community, according to UK media outlet Time Out.

Suburbs.

Interesting.

And no other.

So Kingsland that was on there last year.

Kingsland was at 43 last year, and Ponsonby's at 33 this year.

And so Kingsland didn't make it to the list this year.

And no other.

You didn't get an uncooler.

This is the lack of consistency here.

Yeah.

So but no other New Zealand suburbs.

No on the list.

What can you sprinkle a few?

Do you have the list of?

I don't know the top 10 cooler suburbs.

Yeah, OK.

Tomagaya in Tokyo, Japan.

Great.

West in Amsterdam.

Isola in Milan.

Mid City in New Orleans.

Brunswick East in Melbourne.

Oh, yeah, love Brunswick.

Brunswick, yeah.

Brunswick's.

I'd live in Brunswick if I lived in Melbourne.

I'm at Flinders.

I'm at Flinders.

Where's Brunswick?

It's, um...

Can I catch a tram?

Yeah, you can catch a tram.

Love.

Like, it's not inner city, but it's funky town.

OK, cool.

We're all the artist's leave.

Yeah, you would definitely live in Brunswick.

My brother used to live in a converted warehouse

in Brunswick.

I mean, as a musician, I mean, it's pretty cool.

Moved from Wellington?

Moved from Wellington, bro.

Yeah, she did.

She did to Melbourne.

Abandoned warehouse.

It's a natural progression.

Yeah, it is.

Wellington to Melbourne.

Yeah.

Brunswick East.

I know where you are, actually, close to the zoo.

Not far from the zoo.

Not far.

By, um...

Yeah, I know where you are now.

Oh, we should grab a...

We should grab a...

We should grab a saralee and go to the park.

Oh, we should.

We should get a saralee, go to the park.

Yeah, that's actually nice.

Nice work, guys.

Good one.

Shwee Wang in Hong Kong.

Haven't said that right, have I?

I feel like you can say that.

Havenin in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Karabanshal in Madrid.

That sounds good.

Smithfield in Dublin, Ireland.

And Luralee in Medellin, Colombia.

It's hard because you don't know suburbs

as well as, you know, like, cities.

Have I said that right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bennear?

Bennear done that?

Bennear done that.

Luralees.

Luralees.

Wasn't that the one from Gilmore Girls?

Yeah, that's what I tried to say,

Luralee in the Spanish accent.

That's right, yeah, it's actually great.

That's very cool.

Wow, OK.

That's a big-ass neighbourhood.

Well, I got the top six New Zealand suburbs

that are better than Ponsonby.

Hit it.

Ponsonby's so expensive.

Parking's a nightmare.

Driving's a nightmare.

Oh, why don't you take the bus?

No, thank you.

I like it.

Oh, I know that's actually...

I did see someone with a stab when

come out of that metro station in Colombia.

They had a stab with it.

They had just been stabbed.

Yeah, but everyone in Colombia has been stabbed.

You know?

I don't know if they have.

You'll be all right.

Yes, OK.

You'll be all right.

Top six suburbs better than Ponsonby.

Six on the list.

North Dunedin, the home of Dunedin culture.

Yeah.

Scarfyville.

North Dunedin.

Love it.

It's got energy.

It's got vibrancy.

It's got zero insulation.

I think they've got top insulation.

All the houses.

I don't know if insulation counts

towards what they class as a cool suburb.

Do you know they don't take insulation into account?

No.

No, they definitely don't.

It's got the botanical gardens.

Beautiful botanical gardens.

It's got a lookout.

It's got, I've just Googled and I'm looking at a map.

It's on the verge of a voice-with-war stadium.

Oh, yeah, it's got the university.

It's got the library.

North Dunedin's got it all.

Better than Ponsonby.

Number five on the list of the top six suburbs.

Better than Ponsonby.

Hamilton East.

Hamilton East rules.

I live in Hamilton East when I was a student.

I met my wife.

She was living in a very horrible, horrible flat

in Hamilton East.

But Hamilton East is lovely.

It's got a river access.

It's got cafes.

It's got pubs.

It doesn't have clubs.

They're not selling it to us.

It's got Waikato University.

The sprawling open grounds.

Yeah, it's not.

Yeah, I don't know.

It's really nice, guys.

Hamilton East is Ponsonby without all of Ponsonby's problems.

Number four on the list of the top six suburbs

that are better than Ponsonby in New Zealand, Newtown

and Wellington.

Yes.

Newtown's lovely.

Haven't not spent nearly enough time in Newtown.

I've lived in like three houses in Newtown.

Love it.

Yeah.

Love it.

Beautiful spot in Newtown.

Very funky town.

Very, very arty farting.

Just away from the public servants enough to.

Very close to Toifu Carties in Newtown.

Is it?

Yeah.

That's why all the actors live in Newtown.

Well, well, well.

Number three on the list of the top six suburbs.

Better than Ponsonby, Papamoa in the Bay of Plenty.

Really?

It looks like an American bloody seat.

No, no, no, you're looking at the wrong area of Papamoa.

No, no, no.

There's like Sunset, California, Ave.

The nude beach.

Oh, yeah, I'm back.

Nude beach is down there.

OK.

I'm sort of old Papamoa by the campgrounds.

You got restaurants.

You got shoppings nearby, so that's easy.

I'd go the mount over Papamoa.

You're the same.

Yeah.

Way better food.

You can afford mount rates, can you?

You can just waltz into Mount Maunganui and afford all

this willy-nilly.

It gets so busy over summer down at the main end.

Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful beach.

It's too busy.

It's humming.

And Papamoa is bigger, the population is booming,

but it's a lovely suburb.

Number two on the list of the top six

suburbs better than Ponsonby, stepping in in its place

in Auckland, Pointe-Cheve.

Pointe-Cheve is a better Ponsonby.

What are you screwing your face up for?

Pointe-Cheve's a better Ponsonby.

The shops are lagging.

And we waited way too long for that pizza that time,

do you remember?

Oh my God.

We were stuck there.

And do you remember I said to you at the time,

I hope this suburb is never in the coolest suburb's list

because it doesn't deserve to be.

He was like, oh my God, imagine if.

And I was like, as if.

Ice creams.

It's got that park at the end of it.

It doesn't get the true traffic of Ponsonby.

Huff spray paint.

Maybe back in the day.

They're a classier.

It's been gentrified.

People aren't huffing paint anymore.

They're doing cocaine.

Goodness me.

Goodness me.

And number one on the list of the top six suburb's

better than Ponsonby from around New Zealand.

I had to look this one up because I didn't know its name.

I just knew where in Christchurch it was.

Summerfield in Christchurch.

Yeah, it's nice.

Just south of the main drag.

Yeah, my friends live there.

Yeah, Summerfield.

That's why I was thinking for livability.

Pretty.

Summerfield.

It's got some shops nearby.

It's got a lovely river through or a stream

through a few parks.

A cemetery so you can be buried there too

because that's where it all ends up, hey.

That's what I look for when I'm choosing a suburb.

Yeah.

Can I be buried here?

Can I be buried here?

Can I be buried here?

Ponsonby.

You can be buried anywhere.

That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletchboard and Haley.

Play ZM.

A guy called Oliver who I've only heard 12 seconds of this guy.

Right.

But I already like him.

He works in a retail setting and he's gone viral for this.

And my name is displayed right here

and it's like a nice thing to do maybe.

So you're like, oh, thank you, Oliver.

I hate when people know my name.

Please don't read it.

You already can see me and that's like more than I want.

Oh, Oliver.

I love reading those names to them on their name tags.

So apparently.

Thank you, Sandy.

And so this has like caked it all off online

because people that work in HOSPO or any kind of customer

job with a name tag say they hate it.

I always do.

Well, you think you're being friendly, right?

Yeah.

And you're like, oh, hey, Oliver, thanks.

Yeah.

And you just flicked down to the chest.

Oh, thank you, Carl.

And you're like, oh, I like it.

Well, producer Jared, you worked at Pack and Save

many years ago.

I did.

Congrats.

Name tag?

Yep, big name tag.

Did you like it or hate it?

No, I was not a fan.

They'd be like, oh, thanks for that, Jared.

And I'm like, mm.

Oh, really?

It would always catch me off guard.

Like, wait, how do you know me?

And then I'm like, oh, I'm wearing a name tag.

Do I know you?

Yes.

Because if you ever said that to someone,

and then they're quite startled that you've

used their name, and then they attack

them a second to realize.

So you don't like it, Jared?

I always thought it was a really friendly, personable

thing to do.

Jared has sent us a photo of his Pack and Save named.

Oh, my god.

Obviously, this was like a, it's got your photo on it.

It was like a, like, workplaces have with a photo ID.

Yeah.

Jared, check out Operator.

Yeah, pretty cool, man.

Pretty cool.

And let's say, oh, thanks, Jared.

And you'd kind of, like, be like, oh, no problem, Dave?

Yeah.

John?

No problem.

Oh, OK.

So you don't like being at odds with not being able to say

their name back to them?

Yeah.

Pretty much.

It's just, I just felt awkward as I do most times.

Right.

Yeah, I mean, that's you, isn't it?

But yeah, so most people apparently not for it.

Oh, I apologize.

I love a little, like, you know I love to,

I'm quick to get personal.

I'm quick to touch an arm.

Oh, stop.

Oh, she's a bit touchy.

Oh, my gosh, stop it.

I'll just touch an arm.

She's a thresh of a child.

I'm a woman of physical connection, darling.

I'll go a step further.

Jared, you'd pack my groceries and say to me, thank you, Jared.

I'd grab you by both shoulders.

So you're doing a great job, mate.

I'm having a barbecue this weekend.

Come on over.

Oh, cool.

If you could just maybe leave a customer compliment

format to self-serve.

Nah, come here.

Check out.

It's also $0.20 for a, if you touch a checkout operator.

Oh, is it?

Like, the bags cost a bit extra.

It's also $0.20.

Yeah, I'm happy to pay.

Yeah, OK.

Happy to pay.

Good.

How you get fly buys?

Play.

Silly, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Oh.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly, that the silly little pole,

silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole,

silly little pole.

Today's silly little pole.

Is it a red flag if somebody lives at home?

So I don't know.

You go, you meet someone, you go out on a date,

and they're like, I still live at home.

I honestly, depending on age, not at all anymore.

It's insane.

I assume my daughters are going to go to uni

and then come back for a bit and then go overseas.

No.

No, don't come back.

Overseas is dangerous.

I went to 18 straight after high school.

I never went back.

Never went back.

No, yeah.

Are you thinking how much?

I literally never talked to my father again.

I ignored his calls.

Why did you do that?

Yeah, I just sort of wanted my own life,

and I just wanted to really separate myself.

And then I went off, and I'm mad the things I did.

I know.

The people I did, the things I did.

Oh, my God.

I really put myself in some position.

I'm lucky to be alive.

Yeah.

I'm kidding.

I love you to the day you die.

I just, it's so, it's insane.

Yeah, this is how just the last leaders debate,

Christopher Luxem is like his weekly grocery bill was $65.

Yeah.

They don't even let you in unless you're going to spend $100.

This is my experience.

So, man, it's like, wait, wait,

how much do you plan on spending?

I'm just grabbing a couple of things.

A couple of things, but it cost you over $100, mate.

Yeah. Always.

I promise.

I see chips and dip.

Yeah.

Well, there better be some good dip.

You better be buying some bananas

that you didn't intend to buy when you were here,

but then you look at the receipt when you leave

and you're like, bananas for $9.

Why?

Yeah, it is insanely expensive.

So you can see why people aren't living at home.

I don't think I've ever had a hookup

and gone to someone's house and they've lived at home.

I have.

I was, I was led to believe it was not.

Oh, no, it's even worse.

Just own it, be like, hey, the heads up.

It was volume up, we'll say that.

Oh, my God.

And then in the morning,

Vaughn is a passionate lover.

I am such a passionate lover.

He's a passionate love maker.

And I also like to return.

I like to let you know you're doing a good job.

Thank you.

What's his vocal feedback?

He's vocal feedback.

Thank you.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

Although Vaughn's from the Cheeksies,

Vaughn does take it quite far

and he does actually have a feedback form.

Yeah, he does.

He also, his vocal encouragement is very like,

it's up.

Yeah, yeah.

I was the original.

Yeah, he's the original.

People put that, a lot of that down to Japanese culture,

but no, no, I was the original.

Yeah.

Well, the results.

Oh, well, how I know, how I knew it was the family home

was it was a knock on the door in the morning.

I was like, are you coming to church?

I shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Did you go to church?

Did you go to church?

I heard.

She said, I'll come later.

Yeah, you will.

Anyway, carry on, carry on.

Stop it.

Do I literally had a dream last night

that we said naughty things on ear and Ross sat here

and then he pulled the plug on the radio

and was like, stop it.

Really?

And now it's happening.

And now it's, yeah, real life.

Well, the results from our silly little poll,

is it a red flag if someone still lives at home?

44% of people said yes.

56% of people said no, it is not a red flag.

Did you think it would be a lot more, more red flag?

Yeah, I voted red flag,

but I'm also, you know, hitting in my 30s.

Depends on the age, says Bronte.

If they're in their 20s, that's fine.

30s, you're starting to be a little wary

as to why they're still there.

Yeah.

Steph says no, but a massive red flag

if they live at home and don't drive and they're 30

and they ask you to buy them Mackies.

They don't even call it Mackies.

Mackies.

Mackies.

I call it nones.

I've never heard of the word famine before

and that I've made it up.

And this is not my worst first date by a long shot.

Wait, wait.

Oh, this is real.

She, it was talking about a famine

and they said never heard the word before.

I think he's made that up.

That's famine.

Jeez.

Don't drive.

To new baby Mackie.

Did you accidentally go on a date with a child?

Sounds like a child in a man's coat.

It was at three children on each other's shoulders

and he refused to take his coat off.

What's your famine?

To maybe have said Mackies, I eat Fui Happy Meals.

Fui.

Katie says, yes, I scoff as I sit in my nice warm bed

at my parents' house with a cup of tea delivered by my mom.

But I swear it's temporary.

See, this is why you don't have kids.

You never can get rid of them.

I know there was an 18.

You're like, no, no, man.

Can I borrow some money?

Yeah, man.

Hannah said, it's not a red flag

because my dad is cool and one night stand

should be honored to meet him.

Oh, meet dad.

Meet him?

No, no, no, no.

Jesus, imagine that.

You're just like sneaking out and you can run a corner

and there's a man being like, and your name is?

Oh, my God.

Tell me.

Mikhail says, depends if it's a safe money

or have mommy to do their washing.

That's a big difference there.

And that's a really good point, actually.

Yeah, true.

Aiden says, my now wife and I lived with our parents

until we were 22 and went straight from there

into our first home, which we managed to buy

because we'd saved enough money from living at home for 22.

You've got to do that.

Or if you're going over in your OE, pack up your flat,

jump in with mom and dad for a little bit,

save some money, pop off.

Amelie says, where else are they supposed to live?

In their own abode.

I think she was being funny that we are saying

that she lives at home where she's like, our home.

Oh, stop it.

You're being silly.

What was her name?

It is a silly little poll.

Amelie, Amelie, she's being silly.

She's being a little bit silly, so we'll allow it.

No, she's being a little and silly, yeah.

We'll absolutely allow it.

So that is today's silly little poll.

Play, Zerian's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

I eat almost next to anything now.

I'm not fussy.

I can eat spice.

I can eat seafoods.

I can eat.

But I used to be, and even Aaron says it now,

he's like, I can't believe how much food you eat.

There's types of food.

Variety of food.

He'd lose a head if he said that.

He knows better than I say.

Does he?

Does he?

Well, the types of food, because even when I met him,

I was a bit more limited and really expanded

over the last 13 years.

But as you get older, you do kind of mature.

Taste buds do change, don't they?

Because there are things I would never have eaten

as a teenager or as my twin.

I didn't even like that.

I was like, oh, fishy.

But when I was a kid, I was a real like,

when we'd go to Pizza Hut, I didn't eat the pizza.

I didn't like pizza.

I'd go straight to the dessert bar.

No pizza.

Oh, no, you don't let it go to the dessert bar

till you've had the pizza.

No, no, no.

My parents are a little bit liberal at the table.

Do you just eat all the moose?

All the moose, all the sprinkles, all the jelly.

Jelly or moose left, because this.

This hungry child is dumb.

Yeah, and then if we went to a restaurant,

I would always just get chips, fries.

I would be like, oh my God, have something else.

There's a sandwich there, Hayley.

No, I want chips.

Oh, cool.

Now, I was called Fuzzy.

Eat that for dinner?

Yeah.

Like normal dinner at home?

Particularly for dinner.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'd eat what my mum made me at home.

Okay.

But she.

So you were just a super brat when you went out.

No, but I've said this before,

man, because they were always doing genie craigs.

They'd have their frozen meals.

Yeah.

My brother didn't eat chicken and I didn't eat red meat.

So my mum used to make three different dinners.

Wow.

Spoiled, rotten.

Now I was called Fuzzy, but this is terrible.

There was a, there's a boy, his name's Rocco.

Love that name.

Do you remember Rocco's mod of life?

Not in life, yes.

Oh my God, so good.

So many drugs from those creators, surely.

Yeah.

Called a Fuzzy boy.

He's eight years old.

He lived on chocolate bars, Nutella and Pringles.

That's it, and Nesquik milk.

That is it.

Okay.

That is his pyramid.

I'm sorry, that's bad parenting.

For sure.

Yeah, like we would have terrible, terrible parenting.

No, but it's called.

There's a diagnosis for it,

because I've watched Docos on this before.

Not on Applidix.

Yeah.

I was just about to say,

in thorough need of a smack on the head.

A fancy smack or,

avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.

It's like, where, yes, you've been led to the path of like,

allowing them to eat only there,

but it gets so bad that even the thought of other food

would make him vomit.

He would scream, he'd be nauseous.

Well, you can't vomit forever.

I'll tell you, you tell me,

and I'll tell you what my dad would say.

I'm gonna be sick.

Well, you can't be sick forever.

Yeah.

Make me upset.

Well, we're all upset at different times, aren't we?

So, get on with it and stop being upset.

I don't like it.

It makes me feel funny inside.

Oh, it does it?

Well, I wanna tell you what else is gonna be about,

about to make you feel funny.

And then he, whatcha?

Get his belt off.

Yeah.

And one fluid motion.

We just weren't allowed to leave the table until we'd eaten.

Yeah.

Everything.

That or you just stung.

80s kids.

Yeah.

Trigger warning.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

The belt snap.

My dad never smacked me with a belt,

but he'd always do that.

Why?

He'd never go through with that.

Oh my God, my dad never hit me.

No, it explains a lot.

No.

It does.

It explains a lot.

You've got big, big poor follow through from parents.

My snack would be like, grab the hand and be like,

little smack on the hand.

Oh my God, is that it?

God, you need a camera.

Beb will get out the catering size glad wrap.

She'd bloody whack a kid with that.

Yeah.

Kid whack and ass with that and the wooden spoon,

which she still has.

Every time I go home, she's still got the wooden spoon.

Yeah, it'd keep you on your toes.

Even in your 40s, she needs you to know

you'd be on your best behavior and he puts on your plate.

Little Rocco O'Brien from Ipswich, who could only eat.

Ipswich Brisbane or Ipswich?

UK.

UK.

His avoidant restrictive food intake disorder

was cured with hypnotism.

I know lots of people that've cured things of hypnotism.

I tried it with the Emo-THs.

Didn't work.

It didn't work.

It worked for a while.

It's not as bad as it used to be.

Really?

Okay.

Is hypnotism the modern smack on the ass?

It could be.

Soft or approach?

Because every time my dad gets at his bout now,

I go, bop bop bop bop.

Bop bop bop bop.

Yes.

And right.

Now he can eat 10 more foods.

10, okay.

Yeah.

Starting, do you know what he introduced first?

A naggy.

Oh, okay.

You're nice.

Chicky naggy.

Pfft.

Pfft.

Look.

Of course an essential food group.

It's a food disorder.

You know, he's developed this terrible thing.

The poor thing.

He wants to eat more and now here he is holding an apple.

He's having apples.

Is he eating it or holding it?

Well he's posing with it.

Okay, yeah.

So it has worked and he can eat actual fruit and vegetables.

Yeah, he can eat fruit and vegetables and some meats now.

And he still eats a few of the things,

but the mum's like, you know, trying to restrict on that.

Right, we're going.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, right.

So then they are with the foods and the Nutella and whatnot.

Anyway, I wanna know if you're a fussy eater,

whether or not it was like an extreme-

Mine looks like the sort of person

that talks to a child very loudly in public.

Right.

Yeah, yeah.

They're the worst.

Rocko!

Rocko!

Five minutes till we're leaving, Rocko!

Put it down, Rock!

Oh, for God's sake, Rocko, come over next quick.

I wanna know if you are a fussy eater,

whether or not it was like, as a kid,

you were just like, stream, could only eat a few things,

or if like, even now as an adult, you're like...

Well, old producer and a henvest.

Oh, chicken cellar.

Full name and shame.

Full name and shame.

She, yeah, she was like...

Well, she's fussy.

Oh, dude.

I didn't even notice.

It was more like growing up.

When she was a kid,

but even as an adult,

occasionally she'd eat something

and be like, this is the first time I've ever eaten this.

Yeah.

It's like porridge.

How bizarre.

Well, maybe that's you.

Maybe you've grown up like this.

But even, Eva, it just blows my mind now

that adults can be that fussy.

Like, you can understand it as a kid,

because, you know, maybe you're not mature

with the palates and the flavours.

Yeah, totally.

But some adults are just like,

nah, I can't do it.

Oh, I can't do fish.

Can't do that.

Can't do this.

Can't eat chicken.

Are you a super, super fussy eater?

Because there is a kid who had to get hypnotised,

because you can only eat Nutella, salted Pringles,

dairy milk, cabbry chocolate and nest quick milk.

Like, isn't that every kid's dream dinner?

Yeah.

I mean, I would say the kid looks sickly.

Like, thank God he's been hypnotised

and can eat 10 more foods, including fruit and vegetables.

Which is good.

God, my God!

How would he poop?

What would he poop?

He would poop once a week.

Nuggets, hard, dry nuggets.

Like goat poos.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Kalia, good morning.

This is your brother that's a fussy eater.

Yeah, he is.

He's an extremely fussy eater.

So what does he eat?

He doesn't really do his foods with like sauces or anything.

And it has to be really plain.

So when we go out, it's got to be like some meat and cheese

on the burger or just cheese on the pizza.

Like he does, doesn't he?

I just wouldn't take him out.

As a parent, I just wouldn't take my kids out of town like that.

Worst thing going out with a vegan friend for dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So just like plain food?

Very much so.

And then it can't touch when we're like, when we cook at home,

it's probably not so much when we go out.

It can't touch like he just doesn't like it to be touching.

Is he white?

Yeah.

White people love a plain food.

They love a plain food that hasn't touched any other plain foods.

So he couldn't do a butter chicken.

My piece, please, touch my potatoes.

He couldn't do a butter chicken because of the sauce.

Yeah, and spice.

Like, yeah, we're very white.

Butter chicken, mate, it is a spice.

It's cream. Yeah.

Oh my God, you know how I talked about the lemon honey

butter chicken and then I talked about one of our listeners

who is Indian, he messaged me and was like, for shame.

And I was like, I apologize.

That's not the airport I was expecting from.

How Indian this is about lemon honey butter chicken.

Kaliya, thank you.

Let's get a Kaya.

Kaya, your sister is a fussy eater?

Kaya.

Oh, sorry, Kaya.

Yeah, my sister is an extremely fussy eater.

She will pretty much only eat carbs and pork.

So a sausage roll.

Yeah, basically, but like she that's all she'll eat.

She's getting better now, but we used to have to sit at the table

for hours while she'd eat.

Oh, there's no reason you should all have been punished for her.

You can all go and enjoy fun things.

That makes her jealous and she'll eat it up.

She'll eat it quicker.

Yeah, she didn't.

She just didn't like it.

She didn't like the look of it.

She would not eat it.

You just make up your mind.

It just gets in your head.

You're like, nah, I'm not doing that.

Kaya, Kaya, we all had a look of confusion in our face.

Were you near a train level crossing?

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

Yes.

Oh, I thought she was flying a plane.

Yeah, I know it was the bells.

I was like, it's the bells.

Thank you, Kaya.

Abby, you're a fussy eater?

Your sister is?

Morning.

Morning.

My sister, I just want to say highly proud.

Thanks, Ben.

Need you in my morning.

Oh, my God.

Thank you so much.

She's got the boys on.

I've never heard, I've never heard.

Let's cut the boys off.

She was just telling Hailey before.

She's got big energy this week.

Yeah, but what's good, yeah, let's hang out.

Let's hang out.

I do, I do.

The boys, Fletch is telling me that I've literally

been flirting with everyone I come across this week.

See, I've never heard the gym.

And Abby, now I've turned my energy into you.

The other band of gym, all the girls would just say, ha.

I know.

I was on fire.

I feel like she's your bestie, you know?

She's like your bestie on the radio.

Oh, yeah.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, Abby.

Don't give her a big head.

Abby, you're so, what can't your sister eat?

So basically any food with color.

So she will only eat, she will only eat like sushi.

She'll have the rice with the chicken, but no skin.

She'll peel the seaweed off and like,

okay.

Yeah, she basically grew up saying lunchbox every day

for our whole lives.

Like a mama sandwich, some shapes and some Pringles.

Oh, there's beige, man.

It's so beige.

And carb, heavy.

But she's got to cut all the skin off.

She can eat color.

A lot of it.

So she didn't grow out of it?

How old is your sister now?

No, she's 30.

And she's dear.

She's peeling the sushi.

I will add, she does have jump syndrome,

so that is like a thing.

But she's like, yeah.

But is that buried here, right?

Not really, it's not part of it.

It's not really part of it.

But she'll just no color in her food, nothing.

Wow.

She'll eat plain pasta.

What about greens?

What about greens?

Is she like broccoli or?

Nope.

I knew she could cut the middle out

and it had no green on it.

Like, no.

I'm concerned for your sister's poops.

Again, I'm concerned for the poops.

It's all of these people that the pooing is the hard part.

Very hard.

Abby, thank you so much for your call.

Caroline, you are getting your sun hypnotized next week.

Whoa.

Yes, we're doing it to our six-year-old.

So this is exactly like the story.

Is this the avoidant food thing?

The food intake disorder, yeah.

Wow, tell us more about it, because it's a proper thing.

It's not just, it turns from being a fussy kid

right into like a bigger problem.

Yeah, so he never ate, like ate like a baby, all fine.

But then as soon as we started solids,

he just wouldn't eat it.

Yeah, that's a problem.

So he currently eats Oreos, pretzels, red Doritos,

and he's on weight gaining drinks every day.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

But he's like a normal-sized child, and he looks fine.

He just is rushing a little bit.

So yeah, what would happen if you tried to give him

like some chicken and broccoli?

He would not eat it.

Wow.

He just wouldn't.

And like he wants to eat,

because sometimes he'll ask for like carrots or something,

but as soon as it goes into his mouth, he's full on gag.

Yeah.

So he just basically can't do it?

Physically can't do it.

Have you tried like,

have you tried like making a chicken chocolate shake

in the blender?

I kind of like them, but I don't know if I want to do it.

Yeah, Carol, don't do that to your poor child.

While he's under, will you get some other stuff done?

My guys just think it's-

Yeah, make him like, make his bed.

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm thinking about.

Like, have some respect for your mother.

And where does your, where do your shoes go?

Yeah.

Beside the door, not in front of the door.

Pick up the tweed towels.

And then you can fall asleep real fast.

Yeah.

When you're 18, you will not do drugs.

Yeah.

And you love maths.

Yes.

Remember, ooh.

Wow, fascinating.

I would love a follow up, Caroline, about how it goes,

because it's just the hypnotism thing.

It's just fascinating for this kind of behavioural stuff.

Yeah, definitely.

He's got three sessions, so I'll let you guys know.

Oh, good luck.

Good luck to him and to you.

Oh, thanks guys.

It's so interesting.

Also, a long time ago.

Oh, I could feel it.

That was so lucky.

We nearly missed, we nearly missed that.

Thank you, Caroline, for seeing this message.

Follow up with us.

Yes, please, good luck.

Some Tex messages.

I only, I knew a kid that would only eat

dry, uncooked couscous with tomato sauce.

That's a dry, that's very dry.

Couscous.

That's very dry.

Such an odd choice of carbohydrate to just only have.

How would you even swallow it?

You'd be like...

But then wouldn't it expand in your tummy

when it got water in it?

Yeah.

My 17-year-old son won't eat most things.

Burgers, just cheese and sauce, hates all veggies,

won't even eat hot chips.

Oh no, hot chips is the only way he eats a vegetable.

Oh, okay.

It's been fussy since he started eating.

Vegetable in quotations.

What is the rickets?

Your rickets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your vitamins, your discurvy.

That's the other thing.

Like, there are a whole lot of reasons

we've got to eat a variety of things.

Scurvy and rickets, for example.

My mother-in-law will only eat chicken breast,

instant porridge, apples and candy.

I mean, thank God for the apples.

Yeah, it was pretty dry, otherwise.

Yeah.

My partner likes most of it.

Not even a Thai sweet chili?

No.

Oh, God, no, you can...

Oh, oh, oh.

ZM's Fletch Won and Hayley.

This will probably, when you break it down,

comes absolutely no surprise.

Fast walkers live longer than doordlers.

Is it because of the cardio-vascular benefits?

Yeah, totally is.

It's totally...

They're just pounding the footpaths.

So whatever they're doing,

they're getting a cardio-vascular sort of workout.

In the meantime, they're not plodding.

I'm aware I could be going on a doordly walk

and I'll still walk fast.

Yeah, man.

But you're a fast walker too?

Yeah, I am.

But even I...

I'm a fast walker.

I hate being blocked on the footpath.

But even I have to do a couple of little trots

to keep up with Fletch.

And I have to do a couple of little trots

to keep up with Aaron, simply based on his gait.

Yeah, whereas Vaughn,

you're dragging him along on a leash.

Yeah, you're not a slot.

Yeah, you're medium-paced.

I'm a medium-pacer.

I'll just walk.

A plodder.

I'm kind of thinking about stuff while I'm walking.

Considering things.

Yeah.

So brisk and average walkers are associated

with lower rates of deaths related

to cardiovascular disease, cancer, and other causes

compared to slow walkers.

But then, I mean, this all makes very basic sense.

If you walk slower, you might be carrying a bit more.

Yeah.

Weight, and that's also linked

to all of these sorts of things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are we putting this in the category

of the study we didn't really need?

Correct.

Yeah, we're putting this in the category

of Dr. Jonathan Goldney phoning it in.

Do you know, I just read a study that said

that people that drink water are more likely to live

than those that don't drink water.

It's really amazing.

I read that study.

I was going to bring it up, actually.

Fascinating stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I put you're less likely to die from a skydiving accident

if you don't go skydiving study.

Oh!

I'm actually releasing it next week.

Well, I don't want to go too far until we're

in the final part of putting together our doctorate.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

It's called People Can't Fly.

Wow.

Okay.

That was in relation with the Canterbury University

that you teamed up with them for that.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah, we got an insane amount of funding.

Wow.

I read this crazy study the other day.

People who wear shoes are less likely to get

dirty feet due to the soil on the ground.

And I was like,

Wow.

It's wild.

Trying to break down the science of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How?

And what they did is they really researched 2,000 people,

half of which wore shoes and walked through mud,

and half of which wore just had BFA.

And I think it was like the study said

that the majority of people who walked through the mud

with BFA had dirtier feet than those

that were wearing shoes at the end of it.

But there was a relatively high proportion

of mums screaming, don't come in here like that to both.

Yeah, yeah, every time that was the kind of constant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's good.

That's good to know that that remains constant.

It's nuts.

Yeah.

I actually just released a study in conjunction

with Resine Paints.

Oh, beautiful.

I love Resine.

It's called Don't Drinkless.

And it turned out because it looked a little bit

like a milkshake, some people were

drinking some of the more vibrant color.

Yeah, I know you've probably, you've been painting.

So I'm imagining you fighting the urge.

Probably the only thing stopping you is

you don't want to run out of paint on the walls

if you were-

That's the only reason.

Are you not supposed to drink it?

What did the study say?

Well, my study said that you don't drink it.

What?

I know, this happened because I was in a Resine

and I said, can I get a test pot in the vanilla?

And they were like, oh, the vanilla's very popular

in the white range.

And then I opened the lid and I went, yeah.

And they're like, sir, no, oh my God, we're gonna warn you.

You're not supposed to drink it.

That's why you've done a study.

That's why I did a study with them.

Don't drink this.

I read a study recently that said people with breasts

are 100 times more likely to wear bras

than people without breasts.

Yeah, crazy.

And I was like, I had no idea.

Was this following up your Auga breasts study?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That 100% of women hate it when you go up to them

and go, Auga, that was what the study found.

To be honest, I just don't think you had enough test subjects

because I've met a couple that did like it.

Yeah, really?

Really?

Send me their details.

I'll do a follow up.

I don't know if they did it.

It was just on a bus.

I don't know.

I did a study that was how much of a percentage

of Vaughan is a pest and it was a hundred percent.

It was high.

Play Zerian, Splash, Vaughan and Haley.

Well, it's been a big complaint about Airbnbs.

Since Airbnbs were a thing.

Yeah.

You finish your stay at an Airbnb.

And then you walk away.

You get in the car, you walk away.

You walk away.

But a lot of Airbnbs have a checkout checklist.

Do the dishes.

Put the trash in the bin.

Take the sheets off the bed.

Vacuum the house.

Take out the rubbish, yeah.

But when you...

Or take your rubbish with you?

Yeah.

So now I'm on holiday with like a boot full of bottles

and trash?

There was a woman in America.

She tweeted out on Fibre 4 about how she paid

185 US dollar cleaning fee on her Airbnb.

And then she got a one star or a shitty review saying

you didn't vacuum when you left.

Oh, vacuum?

No, no, no.

Not, we didn't vacuum, but we did strip the beds

and we also took the trash to the local trash center.

Wherever that is.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Like down the road or whatever when they left.

Now the head of Airbnb for Australia and New Zealand,

Susan Wheeler, has said that guests

should not have to strip the bed, do the laundry,

or vacuum when leaving Airbnbs.

There's stuff you do as a courtesy.

Like I'll often take the towel.

Like if we're in a house or something in Airbnb,

take the towels and put them in the washer.

But I'm not going to turn it on because...

Or make a pile in the bathroom or something.

Yeah, like on the floor or something.

She did add.

They said...

I'm still not sure about that.

What shish, Siri?

Siri, you're not part of this chat.

It's not HVorn Haley and Siri.

She's replying it at Airbnb.

So Susan also added,

we do think it's reasonable to ask guests

to turn off the lights, throw food in the rubbish,

and lock the doors just like they would

when leaving their own home.

Yeah, I just think it's best because that cleaning fee,

there's a service fee and a cleaning fee

and a this fee and a that fee and it's like...

I'm not paying like $50 or $100 cleaning fee.

Doing all the cleaning.

But then I'll never leave, like even a hotel room,

I'll still make a pile of towels in the bathroom.

I'll put all my rubbish in the bin.

If I've soiled the sheets, you know, I'll strip them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, make a pile.

Just to hide your own shame more than anything.

More than anything.

Oh my God, if you were a hotel room cleaner

and someone stripped the sheets,

you'd be like, instantly, what have they done?

What have they done?

What have they done?

What have they done?

I remember eating a chocolate mousse

in the bed of a hotel and it's swapping onto the sheet.

And then I literally had to write a note

and left it with an arrow pointing to it saying,

this is not shit.

It's chocolate mousse.

This is mousse.

I was eating mousse.

No, that just sounds like a lie now.

I was almost like, sniff it, it's chocolate.

Then you're like, don't sniff it.

Play ZDM's Fletch Von Analy.

I reckon I'm two weeks away from a bathroom being finished.

And after nine months of no bathroom.

After nine months, I'm one week away from having a toilet.

I like to remove the eye from toilet.

Toilet, toilet, yeah.

It's how it's best said.

Yeah, I'm having-

Are you removing the eye

with more eyes in it?

Toilet.

Toilet.

No, they're O's, I'm putting more O's

and removing the eye.

It would be toilet.

Tor.

I'm gonna put an R in, toilet.

Sure.

Okay.

Toilet.

Anyway, so yesterday was a big day

because the tiles and the shower were finished.

And we went in there to just have a little looky

and feel it out, it's big shower.

Big shower, we're both jumping in it and whatnot.

Looking at the tiles and the white tiles on the ground,

green on the wall.

Light grout on the ground, dark on the wall.

And I was talking about, oh man,

you know, we have to keep this clean.

Gonna get clean, you know, we don't want mildew rising.

And then we were talking about the little,

you know, the cubbies,

built in cubbies in the wall.

Oh yeah, yeah.

You need like re-baited, regressed.

Yes, recessed.

Recessed, thank you.

Cubbies, and I was like,

well, you know, you're gonna put

just your nice shampoos there in bottles I'll buy

so that we don't have, you know,

Lynx Africa or Rixona for men in my gorgeous shower.

Oh my God, yeah.

You can't spend all that money on a renovation

and then have one of Vaughn's body wash bottles.

I know, and then like whatever's herbal essence is on sale.

Wait a minute.

I was about to leap to the defense of Lynx Africa

for comical value.

And then you said one of Vaughn's body washes?

Yeah.

Sir.

You're not buying a bottle that goes with a decor.

Do you buy a bottle?

Do you buy a body wash that is just for men?

No.

No, we use this stuff.

Chance buys.

And I'm assuming it's very expensive.

Cause I buy skin sensitive stuff

cause I'm a delicate little flower

and he's just like, well, I won't use your expensive stuff.

He just dips his hands in cold water surf.

Yeah, yeah.

Exfoliates, cleans, and makes him smell like fresh laundry.

He, you know, stocked up on SynIves Apricot Scrub

before they banned the coarseness of it.

Why'd they ban the coarseness of it?

Yeah, cause it was the world's best baseball.

You're scared, no hon.

If you went under a light,

you have small abrasions from that though.

Perfect, that's how I like to live.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Anyway, what's my name?

Jeff for the face.

Yeah.

It's Jeff for the face.

You should just use Jeff.

Have they seriously discontinued the foot scrub?

I think they've lightened it

cause it used to be microplastics

and then they made it to apricot shell.

Yeah, apricot stones.

And then I think they've lightened it again

cause it was ripping your face apart.

Anyway, I was talking about how we're gonna display

our shampoos and whatnot.

I said most of our shampoos

are gonna be going into the vanity.

I said, cause you know,

I use different shampoos during the week.

I'll use a strengthening shampoo one day,

a bond repairing shampoo.

And then I use a blonde shampoo, which is purple, right?

Cause it keeps, stops your hair from going brassy.

And Aaron was like, ah, no, no.

I said, what?

He said, you're not using purple shampoo in the shower.

I was like, excuse me?

It's gonna stain.

Your shower?

Yeah, no.

It doesn't stain.

It doesn't stain.

But he thinks that the purple

because it tones your hair

and kind of semi-dyes your hair

is gonna dye our floor.

And I said, oh, it won't stain.

He said, no, I don't want any.

No dye, nothing.

Cause once, one time, Aaron,

I was getting my hair dyed brown

and I was sitting against the table,

I was sitting at the table like this.

And I went, ha, ha, laugh, lean back,

bushed the wall with my brown hair dye,

wiped it off.

It was fine.

But he was just like, never let it go.

So no, I'm not allowed to get my hair dyed at the house,

even though like Shari comes over

and she does my hair and whatnot.

That's done.

Was this done?

We're not gonna do that anymore.

Oh, wow.

And I'm not allowed to use my own purple shampoo.

So I'm just gonna have yellow hair

or I've got to go to the gym to tone my own hair.

So I've got this shower that I can't tell you

how much money I've spent on that.

And I'm not even allowed to use it to wash my own hair.

Just googling to see if this problem

in the Middle East is solved.

Still going actually.

Still going.

Hang on, I'm voicing my problems right now.

Do you know what?

Well, let me really tell you the hitter here.

I said to him like, well, how am I gonna keep my blonde going?

You see, we might have to just go back to brunette.

It's no idea how long this took.

He has no idea the journey I've been onto.

Is the cold flag still going?

Still going.

Yeah, the conflict is still going in our house.

Russia.

Yeah, Russia, Ukraine, that's still going.

Yeah, well, Côtesy's Braille, that's still going.

This just in Pacific Island is still

very real danger of climate change just going on.

For what, I might have to go brunette again.

Really puts it into perspective, doesn't it?

Three whales that washed up, they had traces of microplastics.

Were they blonde or brunette?

Pump back.

ZM's Fletch for the Nailie.

Play ZM.

So a woman on TikTok has shared one of the most embarrassing

moments she's had with her mum.

She said, every now and then, I think about the time

when a guy I went on a date with screenshotted

a follow request from my mum and texted me saying,

is this your mum?

Five minutes after I left our first date

because she didn't know how Instagram worked.

So she would have gone on the phone to her mum

and been like, I just went on a date.

Yeah, it was really nice.

What's his name?

The mum would have gone, look up.

Great follow.

And he would have been like, same surname.

Petsy's Sproul.

Is this your mum?

No.

Oh, you wouldn't want to die.

So embarrassing.

You would just have to disappear off the face

of the planet, right?

You're never seeing that guy again.

Yeah, you'd be like, yes, that is my mum.

It was a lovely date.

Thank you.

Nice to have met you.

Goodbye.

I'm just going to move to Rome.

I guess it's the only option there.

Good old mum.

Oh, my mum would do this.

My mum is a massive stalker.

Wait, not five minutes after a date, though.

I know, because I've clearly left the date

and rung my mum.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And mum's been like, oh, let's have a look at him.

Oh, he's lovely, he's gorgeous, tall.

Oh, follow.

No mum, no.

Not even thinking because you didn't know us.

Yeah.

My mum's very quick to do stuff like this.

But he had a private account.

Suspicious.

Well, no, it's just protecting your privacy, isn't it?

But what's the point of Instagram

if you want it to be private?

I don't understand private accounts.

The whole thing is to show you that my life is better than yours.

That's what we're doing here.

We're squashing down all the crap and all the sort of dark days

and we're just showing the highlights

and being like, this is my life every day.

It's better than yours.

That's Instagram.

Yeah, it's not causing any problems at all, is it?

No, not at all.

Not unrealistic expectations of how a life works,

how a body is supposed to be.

I can't see any societal backlash to this.

No, I can't see it.

Looking for it.

I can't see.

Nothing else in here.

It's unrealistic expectations of themselves

and then whether they don't reach those expectations

and a living life like a Kardashian at that age.

That's right.

They won't sort of sulk into some sort of depression.

I can't see what they've had.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, we want to know when your parent embarrassed you

like this, like in a way that you're just like probably

as an adult as well, where you're like, oh my god, mom, stop.

Now, I feel like it's the other way around for my parents.

I mean, yesterday, we talked about my mom getting

a bloody fanny laser, and she was like,

why are people messaging me about this?

What are you saying?

And I was like, look, it got out of hand, Petsy.

And here we are.

And here we are.

So I think I embarrass my parents more than they embarrass me.

Are you looking forward to embarrassing your girls

when they become teenagers and adulting?

One day, he does it now.

I'm currently engaged in a vicious cycle of embarrassment.

It's every time Vaughn says, pop off, no cap and all

that kind of stuff, and the girls are like,

drop me off in the corner.

I dropped August off at a birthday party,

and as I was driving away, I rolled down the window

and pretended to cry, saying, I miss you so much.

I miss you so much.

Can I please stay at the party?

Can I come to the movie with you and your friends?

Which he was like, I hate you.

And she just turned away and was just like,

turn a bit here over.

And I said, OK, I'll leave, but I want you to know I love you.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

It's good stuff.

It is good stuff.

So much good stuff.

I mean, some people take it too far,

and I wouldn't take it to the point of where the kids were

actually like, I hate you.

Well, that's what's coming.

It's coming.

It's only because this is I've been leading them in.

It's not like I'm going to get to the teens,

and it's going to happen.

This has been, you know, I've been immunizing them

against embarrassment all through their childhood.

Yeah.

Well, that's what we want to know.

When did your parents embarrass you thoroughly?

Give us a call.

1-800-DARS-IT-M. You can text through as well.

The number is 9-6-9-6 in your message.

We'll take your childhood stories as well,

if it's super embarrassing.

Yeah, I think it's funny when you're an adult, right?

Funny when you're an adult, when did your parents embarrass you?

They won't stop.

Oh my god.

The message is coming in.

I'm literally flushing with shame.

We want to know when your parents embarrassed you,

because there was a girl who's went on a first date,

rung her mum and said the date, and then the mum followed

the guy on Instagram.

He just green-shotted, sent it to the girl,

being like, is your mum?

She just followed me.

Five minutes after the date.

Five minutes after their first date.

That's a red flag.

That is a bit of a red flag.

Because that's your future mother-in-law, all going well.

Oh yeah.

She crazy already.

She crazy.

She's just inquisitive, give her a break.

Says a man who will definitely do this.

100%.

When your girls start dating, you are going to be stalking

that person.

I've been on Snapchat.

I opened up the snap map, and on his phone,

and I was like, and who's that, and who's that,

and who's that, and who's that, and who's that, and who's that.

This is a safety thing.

I don't want my children talking to widows.

Of course.

Who's that, who's that, who's that.

And I know where they all live, because I've

got the bloody snap maps open.

Oh my god.

I've written down their address.

You don't message them, though, saying, hey,

know where you live.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

I add them.

I'm like, hey, yeah, 11-year-old punk.

I can't wait until where you live.

I can't wait until their first boyfriend.

You're going to be so embarrassing.

Yeah.

Well, if I blow my cars right there,

won't be why I'm looking for the embarrassment.

Hopefully a girlfriend.

My dad dropped me off at a party,

and as he was leaving, yelled out the window,

have a good time.

I hope the rash clears up.

Oh, great, great.

Dad's scaring off the boys there,

because they don't want the rash.

Yeah.

Crescenda, Crescenda.

How embarrassing was a parent?

Crescenda, Crescenda?

Crescenda, yeah.

Crescenda.

There we go.

It's a lovely name.

It is.

Named after the Toyota Crescenda?

I'm older than that.

You're older than the Toyota Crescenda.

So technically, Toyota named the Crescenda after you.

How old are you?

Definitely.

The Crescenda's Shanks beer.

Toyota's and Crescenda.

Oh no, I'm more familiar with Toyota's.

Are you older than Shanks beer?

No, thank goodness.

How embarrassing were the parents?

My dad.

So we were in Rio de Janeiro.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Lucky.

And, yeah, very lucky.

We walked up to the statue of Christ,

and my father then proceeded to tell all the tourists in front

of us to move out of the way, because he

wanted to take a photo in front of the statue of Christ.

Not quite how it works, Dad.

Yeah, not quite how it works.

I've seen anyone that has been there.

It's just one of those tourist spots

where there are always going to be people in the photo.

Like, it is packed.

Why did he make such a big deal about saying his only daughter?

Was everybody else rocking, like, six or seven daughters?

And he's like, look at all these people.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It was just my dad.

But also, like, you're never going to see these people again.

You're in, like, Brazil.

Yeah, totally.

I know it all the way, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, why not?

I like this energy from your dad.

I do, too.

Hey, thanks for your call.

Taylor, this is Mom that was embarrassing?

Yeah, my mom and my sister actually.

Oh, both of them.

What did they do?

Yeah, so pretty much I was walking home from school,

apart from college at the time, and walking home.

And then before my mom and sister left the house,

I ended up dressing up like I'm talking with paint

on their whole body, like just that, like, dances.

And then I'm walking home.

And then I see them walking towards me.

Oh, my God, like, there is my sister, and that's my buddy.

What are they doing?

And they were, like, almost trying to, like, jump nails.

I mean, like, pretending to jump nails.

Like, you know, like, what's that?

I'm just like gangsters.

We're going to mock you, and then we're going to pretend

to mock you in front of everybody from school.

Well, no, no, this is, like, so I got on the bus line,

and I'm walking home from the bus stop.

So I'm nearly home at this point.

But yeah, it was so embarrassing.

I crossed the road.

Gangsters.

That's such a funny move.

It's such a funny offer.

Like, they're bored at home, and they're, like,

I know what would be funny.

It's just so interesting, like, gangsters.

And I'm like, I'm the bloody gang.

I don't know what to do.

I was just like, no, I just, I just, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know you.

You're not with me.

Yeah, I do.

Oh, my God.

Taylor, thank you.

Vanessa, how embarrassing were the parents?

Hi, so it was my mom.

And it was form two camp, so year eight.

Yeah.

And we were going away for a week to Stewart Island.

So it was a long time.

And we were all lined up in front of the bus,

and our parents were waving us off.

And my mom yelled out in front of everyone,

have you been to the toilet, Vanessa?

Oh, God, please say.

But as a parent, you've got to find.

Had you been to the toilet.

Yeah.

Well, I can't remember.

Exactly.

You can't remember.

But you have to think of these things.

You would have worn it, though.

You would have got teased for that.

Oh, no, it was horrible.

You might have looked at me and said, yeah.

And then from there on, your name at high school was Weez.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's how easy it can happen, Vanessa.

Not Vanessa, the Weezer.

Thanks, you go.

Clever they would have got it.

Some messages.

My mom was going to talk shit about somebody's wedding photos

on Facebook.

But instead of sending it to me privately,

she clicked on the share button and then shared, yes.

Oh, my God, kill me.

She shared the post to her Facebook timeline

and commented her private message as the caption

and tagged me in.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

I wonder what she said.

Oh, my God.

Stacey looks like trash.

Well, I'm imagining it wasn't nice if she started it with.

She's going to talk trash about it.

First day I got my period.

My mum rung the whole family.

They had a period party for me.

Oh, wow.

My dad embarrassed.

I was sort of just like, to my mum, you just,

you just let dad and Sam know.

And like, we're just not.

I don't need.

I don't need to talk about.

Yeah, I could just happen.

My dad embarrassed me at school prize giving

when he sat in the auditorium and took photos

with a disposable camera.

Well, it's not going to be embarrassed.

It's not going to be embarrassing.

I got it to give my award and he stood up

so he could get a bit of view of me.

And then when click and the flash went off

and then you heard rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent.

Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent.

That's cute.

Yeah, dad was proud of you.

Also, they're back in vogue now.

You know, they're very cool now.

Yeah, but he wouldn't have been able to.

No, disposable cameras.

Dads never went out of fashion.

Dads never went out of fashion.

And then they'll be able to.

The photo will be so far away because they never had a good photo.

Oh, no, you won't see.

Oh, yeah.

My mum is an incredibly butch lesbian.

Now, what a great start to her story.

Love that.

My mum is an incredibly butch lesbian.

Super short hair and went through the leather phase.

She went through a leather phase.

She put her hand at school one day.

She put her hand at the leather phase.

She's fully into her leather phase, but she was wearing leather.

Yeah.

She picked me up from school one day with some of her butch lesbian friends.

Everyone's like, oh, your brothers are here to pick you up.

I said, that's my brother.

That's my mum.

That's my mum and her lesbian friends.

Great.

They're in a gang.

They sound like they're in a gang.

With leather.

The lesbian leather gang.

Yeah.

The leather lesbians.

Yeah.

Sign me up.

The LLs.

My mum constantly calls my part of my ex's name all the time and then goes, oh, I do

apologise.

It makes a big scene about the mistake.

He was just around for such a long time.

We thought he was part of, he was really part of the family at that point.

What a son I never had.

Yes.

At my 15th birthday, my mum had decided some of my friends were getting too friendly with

their boyfriend.

She brought out a box of condoms and started hanging them out and she was known as the

condom fairy from then on.

Do you know what?

That's embarrassing.

That's good.

That's good parenting.

It is good parenting.

Yeah.

Like because we're at your 15th, it's more embarrassing to buy them than it would be

to be given them.

Hell yeah.

And they're not cheap.

For mum to come out like that.

That's champion mumming.

Champion mumming.

Mum.

Just double checking.

Just double checking.

Ah, Anzac Day.

I was chatting to a guy in the Navy.

This is from a female listener.

Okay.

I was chatting to a guy in the Navy and my dad came up to us and said, you need to stay

away from Navy men.

They're all dodgy.

And I bought the Navy guy in uniform who I bought them back and they had this weird

staunch standoff.

Oh God.

Was dad in the army or the Air Force?

Because I know that gets a bit, if you were in the army, you wouldn't want your daughter

dating the guys in the Navy.

Yeah.

What do you want to say to that?

Hey Seaboy.

Yeah.

Hey Landman.

And then hey air guy.

What are you?

A bird?

Some kind of bird?

Mendel belong in the sky.

Yeah, boy.

Shut up, fish man.

I'm not in the ground and not in the sea.

It is weird.

Oh no.

Oh no.

My dad gets my two Māori friends confused.

No.

That's not James.

That's why.

That's not James.

That's why I was a whore.

That's James?

No.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

That's not James.

I can tell he's got no dead stop.

That is James.

Watch.

James!

That is James.

Watch.

That is James.

Watch.

James!

James.

Play.

Zedem's, FletchVorn and Hayley.

Fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day.

Da, da, do, da, do.

Da, da, do, do.

Da, do, do.

Da, do, do, do, do.

Da, da, do, do.

Da, do.

Now, if you're coming to tonight's live show,

show, get your vocal chords ready, because you'll be singing the intro and outro with

us.

Oh, we welcome anyone and all.

I don't have a fact for that yet.

It is, I thought we talked about a fact for that.

You need to pay attention.

You need to make it up.

Oh, yeah, we have.

Remember the one about the Harbour Bridge?

Oh, yeah!

I've got a research fact.

You've got to do some research, because this week is Stamp Week at Stam Week, and we're

not going to do a Stamp Fact at the live show because we thought that was lame.

No, we didn't think that was lame.

Well, we are letting you have this space this week, and we have accepted that not everything

about this world is about me and us.

And that's a learning thing for me.

You know, and that's a real moment of learning.

Yeah, and you've taken it on board, but Fletch still can't understand it.

How anything in this world isn't specifically for him.

He's slow at his things.

It's not computing.

Yeah.

It's like I've got an era.

Look at it.

He literally, as you do the Fact of the Day, he literally poises his finger.

He hovers.

On the mouse.

On the mouse to click us out to the next bar.

That's a very disappointing.

Well, if you've been listening to Stamp Week, you'll now have heard from a Stamp Collector,

Daniel, who is based in New Plymouth.

And boy, he has heard from people far afield.

He's heard, someone messaged him saying, oh my God, I listen to this podcast.

I'm in Singapore.

Oh my goodness.

And I've heard them touting the Stamp Facts I too love stamps.

Unreal.

Wow.

Isn't this amazing?

We've gone big in the Stamp World.

Yeah.

Fact of the Day about stamps is connecting the world.

Yeah.

Good.

As stamps did.

But today's stamps, not about the stamps themselves, but the little postmarks.

Oh yeah.

You know what postmarks are?

Oh, the ones that go, get printed, stamped over the stamp.

Over the stamp.

So you can't reuse them.

Yeah.

Well, it's origin, really.

Yeah, right.

It's the first people to process it, put a stamp mark on it, right?

So you know where it came from.

Yeah, that's right.

So I went over the stamps so you couldn't cheeky peel them off and use them again.

But most New Zealand stamps aren't so rare, but some of our postmarks are.

For example, 100 years ago, do you know there were 100 different post offices in the Taranaki

region alone?

This was shocky, Vaughan.

I did not know that.

How hard is it to find a bloody post office these days, it's always bummed in the back

of a dairy.

It's always like you're a pharmacy.

And then you can get a lotto, you can get a bag of chips, and you can get a prescription.

And a couple of stamps or one of those overpriced bags to send you goodies.

They bung it in the back, but then you go to get a courier bag, but the person's dispensing

stiffy pills.

Yeah, I know.

And then you're waiting.

Buna pills and a dollar max.

No, but then they go to the counter and sell someone a Coke Zero, and then they have to

go to the other counter to sell someone some Strepsils, and then they come to you.

It's a lot.

And then you're like, I'm going to play with Airpods, and they're like, come over here.

Yeah, so around there.

This is the world we live in.

We only accept cheque at this counter.

Can I get some cash out, because while I was waiting, I was lured in by the scratchies.

And I got a real good feeling about that one.

Different term and all for the scratchies too.

Yeah, well, that depends what scratchies as well.

You might even go to the pharmacist in the back if you've got the scratchies.

Because they bung a lotto store in places now too.

Everything's bunged in to something else.

It's all bunged in.

Bungry bung bung.

Bunged in there.

So there used to be 100 different post offices in Taranaki, all with their own post mart.

It's because they didn't bung anything in.

No, no, I know that was stand-alone.

It was a busy time.

So they all had different postmarks.

And so they become collectors of them.

The most valuable ones are the ones that were open for a very limited time.

And even when the royal visit happened, a lot of stamps connected to the royal visits.

Yeah.

1935, there was a royal visit to New Zealand.

There was a royal train.

So the train went down the old main trunk line.

And when they got to a place and they needed to go, then they'd have a car waiting for

them and then go back and then they'd come back to the royal train.

There was a special postmark for the royal train.

If anybody on the train wanted to send some mail, a special postmark.

I got him.

I got him.

Did you see that look on his face?

He likes trains.

He likes trains.

And now he imagines.

You know what else you're imagining?

They can't afford to stop all the time for the post.

They hang it up the window in a bag.

Oh, that's pretty cool.

And they snatch it off and they pick it up and they go.

That's what he's thinking of.

Well, what's today's fact there?

Well, no, no.

Well, I'm about to tell you at the moment for sale on TradeMe.

There is a stamp here from the royal train.

See, this is the postmark here.

It says royal train 10th of January, $89.

Yeah.

That's the 10th of January, 1935, the 1pm pickup, and it says it was happening in New

Zealand.

The stamp up here, you might be thinking, that's the one that's worth it.

That's trash.

But that royal postmark on there from 1935, currently on TradeMe at $189.

There's another universe, if we met on a hot day and I brought you back to my place

and I was like, you'll never guess what I've got.

And I got out the royal stamp thingy that Vaughn just showed us on TradeMe for $189.

I'm getting an Uber.

I'm ordering an Uber.

It's ordered.

I would, if I, nah, I'm already at your house, you know, we'd go through with it, but I wouldn't

be staying the night.

Would you not just be like, all the way there, you live quite high up in your apartment building.

I've seen this amazing yarn about the royal train in the 1935 visit and a special train

on the tracks.

It's not doing anything for me.

Your bone is gone.

To be fair, on my first date with Aaron, I showed him marching and said, watch this.

And he watched hours of it.

Yeah, but guys all do a lot.

He got what he, you know, I paid him the price.

Yeah.

Well, he knew your timing was on.

Yeah.

He was like, gosh, he's got good rhythm.

Yeah.

She can give a constant.

And a hell of a set of legs on it.

Yeah.

So today's fact of the day is it's not always, if you see a stamp for sale, it's not always

the stamp that's the valuable part.

Sometime it's the postmark from a short lived post office.

Play ZM's Fletch Von Naly.

Play ZM.

This could get quite emotional.

Jared, producer Jared's been through a terrible breakup we were sharing and we thought we'd

take this on ear because I know I've actually been through a similar breakup and it was

really heart wrenching.

Jared, I'll pass over to you.

Tell us, tell us this sad story.

Good morning.

Oh, babe.

I know.

I know.

It's hard.

We always knew she was too good.

Sorry.

Whoa.

No, the midi and I are still going strong, but we've recently moved, so I had to do the

hard task of breaking up with my local dairy.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

That's tough.

Do you know, we broke up with our fruit shop and then he's moved to our fruit and veg.

He moved to, he followed us from Teata to the Hubai.

He missed you so much.

We walked in, there was this new fruit and veg shop, I walked in, he was like, hello.

I was like, what are you doing here?

He's like, I work here, I've moved, I've moved, I'm here.

Oh my God.

What?

I said, are you stalking us?

Oh.

And he laughed.

Well, that's good.

He didn't say no.

This couldn't happen to you, Chair.

Because of broccoli stalks.

Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

He just might not have found it funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Might be best work.

Peer with me.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

That joke was appalling.

Yeah.

I mean, he could have at least said, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I didn't follow you here.

So how did you do, how did you break the news to your local dairy owner?

I walked in, grabbed my Red Bull packet of Grain Waves and I said, three guys, six.

Not cheeseballs?

No, they were, they were out.

If they don't have cheeseballs, they get the Grain Waves.

Yeah.

Controversial because Grain Waves have gone, I'll say they've gone to shit.

Yeah, they have gone to shit, dude.

Weird texture in this mall.

Yeah.

They changed years ago and I can't move past.

Yeah.

They got rid of the honey mustard flavor.

We don't need to delve too deep into that.

Okay.

You're already hurting enough.

I'm hurting enough.

So I grabbed my Reddy B and just waltzed in and I said, look guys, it's been fun.

We've had a good time.

I've spent probably a bit too much money here.

Yeah.

I've supported you single-handedly.

Because every day were you buying a Reddy B?

Most.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I want to say most, but no, it was every day.

So you're probably top tier, top 5% customer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They, they didn't know my name.

I didn't know their name, but we knew each other.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Sometimes names just get in the way.

Yeah.

Always the same people when you go in.

Same person.

Yeah.

Big family.

Yeah.

Cycled through.

So I got to know each member of the family.

I kind of felt like I was part of that family.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you have a favorite family member?

I did.

He had a necktatt.

He was cool.

He complimented my D&D jumper.

Oh.

We had a necktatt.

And a nerd.

We got a badass nerd.

That Venn diagram.

That's slim crossover.

I think you'd be surprised.

Really?

Yeah.

Nerd's trying to like make themselves a bit more intimidating or often.

Nerds and virgins.

Yeah.

That's quite overlapping.

Yeah.

Nerds get freaky.

Nerds get freaky.

Yeah.

They weren't freaky.

They were just like, let's do this.

Get all dressed up.

Yeah.

Like aliens.

Pull those circles apart.

Yeah.

Pull them apart a little bit.

Pull those circles apart.

Yeah.

And like, to be honest, they actually looked a little bit disappointed that I was gone.

Yeah, man.

I had to do this.

When I first went flatting, I lived in Brooklyn in Wellington.

And we used to go down there.

Me and my flatmate Louie.

We were so broke.

And when we didn't have money, they'd just let us like get food.

And they'd be like, you can just pay us back.

You're all good.

Because they knew that we were flatting on our own.

And then when I moved from there, I was like, we're off.

He was like, oh my God, I wish you all the best.

I hope as well.

Do you want to settle the tab or anything?

Nah, babes.

We're off.

Play Zerian's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Do you find humor attractive in people?

Of course.

I sort of don't.

I'm the funny one here.

Right.

So you see it as competition.

Yeah, I don't know if I've ever dated really funny men.

I've dated like social men.

And like, you know, Aaron's a great actor and a performer.

And he's very funny, but not like...

He's got a good sense of humor.

He's got a great sense of humor.

And he's very funny, but not in a like comedic way.

Whereas like my brain constantly looking out for a gag.

Looking out for a gag.

Looking out for a funny observation.

Looking out for a quip at any moment.

Yeah.

That's intolerable to me.

So you're saying you couldn't date yourself?

It's just a good balance to have the laugher and the laugh maker.

Totally.

I think.

Yeah.

And being the laugh maker.

I'm not...

It's a sense of humor.

A sense of humor is important, but being funny is not super important to me.

Okay.

Well, this study, because we've done research before, right?

We haven't done the research.

We've reported on the research that a sense of humor is up there

with like hot body, good face is what people find attractive.

But this study out of Australia is saying like,

actually it repels a lot of people because it comes across,

not as a sign of intelligence as we originally thought,

as a sign of trying too hard.

And actually it's a bit of a turn off.

And someone having a great sense of humor that you like

actually has no impact on how attractive you find them.

Basically being funny doesn't make you hotter.

Oh.

And people find it a turn off on a first date.

Yeah.

They're a bit like calm down.

It's not an audience.

It's going to pay $20 for a ticket.

It's not that New Zealand International Comedy Festival.

Yeah.

So if you found yourself single again, what would you have to just calm down?

No.

There is no calm version of me.

There is no version of which I'm like...

Sorry.

I pumped the brakes.

Yeah.

Tell me about...

I'm but a bing, but a boom the whole time.

You know what I mean?

She's a bit much.

She's a bit much.

She's a bit much.

That would literally be...

Translated.

She's the number one thing in my profile.

Like 5'10".

Yeah.

Hazel eyes.

Yeah.

Svelte fit hot body.

Yeah.

Bit much.

Bit much.

Bit much.

Bit much.

You can't handle it.

You've got to walk, Max.

Love is arm prosecco.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Moderate drinker.

Yeah.

Nonsmoker.

Yeah.

Unless I've taken the moderate drinking a bit far.

Yeah.

Fashion is my passion.

Yeah.

Love animals.

Yeah.

I don't have a dog though.

Yeah.

But in general, bit much.

Great work, guys.

10 out of 10 if I say so myself.

I do a 9.6.

Is that enough for you to review this podcast

with a high rating and then tell all your friends?

You sound very insincere.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.