ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 12th October 2023

NZME 10/11/23 - Episode Page - 1h 25m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Flesh Vaughn and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Mac's rewards.

Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Flesh Vaughn and Haley.

It's two minutes past six.

Hey, brimbrins.

Whee!

I thought it was Friday until the security guard said Happy Thursday.

I thought it was Wednesday till he said Happy Thursday.

We have this lovely security guard who, every day, reminds us.

Tells you what day it is.

He's happy about all the days.

He does love all the days equally.

Amen.

And it appears that both of you were equally surprised by what day it is today.

My eye was positive because I was about to be like,

Narbol Wednesday.

It's Thursday.

It was giving me fat Friday energy on the way out.

Oh, hon.

You've got another day.

You see what your sky?

Every day, your sky day in my eyeball.

It's not, it's looking a bit redder.

It's got worse.

Yeah, and your eyelid's kind of, like, got a fold in it.

Yeah, it does.

Yeah.

Stop poking it.

I was going to get cosmetic surgery to get this done anyway

because I want people to think of that Asian heritage.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, well, I'll fit in with you, kids.

A lot of people will take it out.

Yeah.

You know, that's the most common cosmetic procedure in the world

because so many people from Asia get the fold taken behind.

The hooded island.

Yeah, yeah.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Titi's just behind.

Titi's a close second.

I was actually Googling yesterday a breast lift just for a friend.

Just having a look.

Just for a friend.

Oh, just for a friend.

It's just, like, for future-proofing.

Just for friends.

Yeah.

It's quite a major surgery.

I'll give them a bloody lift, mate.

Hey!

More than happy to help.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Are you proposed to do that?

Just hands?

Upsie-noodle?

Yeah, well, there you go.

I can't hold this forever.

Happy to hang out here all day.

Just a little bit of consensual ribbing between friends.

Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely.

Are the top sixes on the way?

You can't even just jot it down in the HR notebook.

You haven't even jot down in the notebook for a while.

Shoot, we haven't.

No, we haven't been right to the top.

There you go.

Straight up Cs.

Nice.

Straight up Cs to HR.

Capturing a lot on these cameras, though, recently.

Gotcha.

The top six is on the way.

A wild story.

I'm going to read, because I read the first paragraph, and I was like, it's all I need.

But it is a very intense story that was, like, straight to the top of the Herald last night.

I know.

I read the whole story, and I'm still confused as to...

It feels like it needs diagrams.

Yeah.

There was a threesome with a married couple.

And there was a kid.

There was kids.

Who, by the way, is now like a teenager now.

Correct.

So this happened a long time ago.

Correct.

Shoot.

And the man who was in the threesome's like, I don't want that kid.

Which, when you read the series, fair enough, I don't think he knew who was part of the

deal.

Wait, were there two women, one man?

No.

Two men, one woman.

Were they?

One war man.

Was it different appearing enough that you would know who the dad was?

Well, yes, because one of them in the threesome had a vasectomy.

Oh, okay.

Well, that's enough.

That's enough.

It's a wild story.

We'll get into it.

Yeah.

But the top six is going to deal with the story.

The top six, other times, you're just allowed to say, I don't want that kid.

I mean, you're a parent.

You can say it.

Absolutely.

I want one of mine.

I want both of them.

Next on the show, though, we've got a nut problem.

I don't have a problem with them.

Don't ignore them.

Peanut nuts.

Oh, right.

Oh, no.

Nut lovers.

Bad news next.

Peanut butter and hazelnut treats could be more expensive and hard to come by by the

end of the year, thanks to drought and insect problems overseas.

It's just, I've had enough, you know.

This is the new world.

When will it stop?

This is the new world that we live in.

I love peanut butter.

I love nuts.

I know.

Peanut butter the best.

Yeah.

Do adults still do Nutella?

Unless it's on, like, a crepe at a market?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You're allowed.

Yeah, yum.

I don't buy Nutella, but if I've ever been at someone's house or, like, been around it,

I've been like, hell, yeah.

Slap it on.

Just a cheeky little.

I know.

It's so much sugar, though, isn't it?

Turkey produces, are we saying turkey now?

I thought we were saying turkey.

Turkey.

Well, that's, they've asked us to say turkey and it's their name.

Someone needs to tell stuff, otherwise they'll be canceled.

Turkey produces 70% of the world's hazelnuts, and they've been battling drought and damage

to crops by insects since May.

Because I saw another news article on a website overseas, a Ferrero Rocher.

That's hazelnut, right?

Yeah, correct it is.

Yeah, they were saying, like, if you want, if you're a hazel Ferrero Christmas person,

maybe buy now.

Ferrero Rocher.

In the posh little container.

It's nearly Christmas, too.

I mean, if there was ever a time to buy Ferrero Rocher.

It's Ferrero Rocher.

It's for Christmas.

Do you think there might be a bit more pressure put on lindit balls?

It could be lindit balls.

But they don't have a nutty inside, do they?

They've got lindit, creamy.

They've got a praliney, creamy.

Look, there's one that's a praline, yeah.

And that's the other.

What is praline?

I think praline may be indeed made from hazelnuts.

So whittakers.

Almonds.

I'm pretty sure it's popular.

Peanut slabs and hazella, because hazella, oh my god.

Yeah, your trash.

That's right.

You love that.

No, that is, I think that's one of my top, like, two.

That's right.

You've got the taste buds of a seven-year-old.

Yeah.

The top.

Hazella is one of your...

A seven-year-old white girl hairdresser.

It's just jelly crystals.

He's a big jelly crystals guy.

Yeah, yeah.

He loves his sugar.

Yeah.

But they've said that their peanut slabs and hazella blocks would still be available.

They're working closely with suppliers on an ongoing basis.

Okay.

A lot of the peanut butter maker, because, you know, New Zealand,

we are absolutely spoiled with the best peanut butter.

Oh, absolutely.

We are, yes.

Like, pics kind of kicked it all off, right?

Yeah, totally.

And now there's Fix and Fogg.

There's Nut Brothers.

There's all kinds.

They've all kind of said that they're working...

All kinds.

I always thought...

I always thought Nut Brothers was my friend.

I always thought Nut Brothers was where you'd sleep with the same person.

But that's...

Yeah, for a different time.

Yeah.

We can probably cover that in the top six, actually.

Let's move on.

The Argentinian peanut crop has been experiencing reduced yields in production.

So that's affecting things as well.

Fix and Fogg picks Nut Brothers and 40 Thieves use peanuts from there.

Argentina's got so...

Whenever something's been growing, or, you know, it's always like,

oh, I'd Argentina.

They seem to have such a vast...

Yeah.

Soil.

Good soil.

Must be great soil, but they just seem to have such a vast production.

Hot people, too.

On their hands.

Good soil and hot people.

Yeah.

Hell of a rugby team.

Only decent rugby team in South America.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

That's unusual, isn't it?

Yeah.

The rule, you know, right next to each other.

High inflation, though.

They're screwed at the moment, though.

They're going to be treacherous.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

Do you...

Are you offering to rehomes Argentinians?

I'm just saying.

You're offering to run.

His door just flung open.

Did you hear it?

Yeah.

12 past six.

Buenos dias from Buenos Aires.

Play Zerian's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

So the MTV Music Awards, Video Music Awards,

13 years ago, Lady Gaga turned up

one of the most controversial outfits of all time.

It was the meat dress.

It was 2010.

Yeah.

So that was a dress made of legitimate scraps of meat

sewn together onto her body.

Were they...

I'm not a meat expert.

It was mostly snitcher, wasn't it?

Skirt.

No, yeah, it was too thick to be snit.

Oh, right.

Snit, beef skirt.

Beef skirt.

Snit's just thinly cut.

Yeah, skirt.

Skirt's kind of like...

Argentinian, by the way.

Argentinian skirt.

I am not surprised.

Also, great meat.

Great meat.

For the best meat in the world.

Call of a barbecue system.

The Asado Cross up against the fire.

Beautiful.

Great barbecue is great.

Yeah, it's got it all.

It's stunning.

Argentina.

So the guy...

Great wine.

Oh, great wine.

phenomenal red wine.

Reds.

Yeah.

Known for their reds.

Is it the Melbeck?

The Melbeck?

Is that the Argentinian red wine special?

Best.

Melbeck.

I think it might be in a wine.

Melbeck's not a drink you'd have tons of, though.

No, no, no.

But you'd have it with dinner.

You'd have it with meat.

You'd have it with an Argentinian skirt steak.

Straight from Lady Gaga's top.

What are Argentinian gout levels like?

I don't know.

Got a bit of gout in there, beautiful.

Argentines.

Well, anyway, there was an Argentinian designer

that made this.

Frank Fernandes.

Fernandes.

That's him.

Fernandes.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe I couldn't say Fernandes.

It's Fernandes.

Fernandes.

You need a couple of weeks on Duolingo.

Frank Fernandes.

He made the dress from Argentinian beef skirt.

My kids are obsessed with Duolingo.

What are they learning?

Which one?

Which kids?

No.

Which language are they learning?

Spanish.

Voila.

I was like, some friend of theirs got a Duolingo thing

and they had, you could do three more devices or whatever.

And so Indy got in on this thing and now she's like,

do you want to do Spanish?

And I'm like, pick it up.

Yeah, why not?

That's good.

That's great.

That's the high school they're going to go to.

Does it teach Spanish?

That's in Spain.

That's a high school they go to.

It's in Spain.

They're getting rid of them.

Yeah, great.

Actually, we might just go to Argentina.

Yeah, go to Argentina.

What's a great country?

Great country.

So this dress, afterwards everyone was like,

you know, that's going in the bin.

Like it's been out.

She's been wearing it for hours.

This is 13 years ago.

13 years ago.

But no, he actually preserved it using a drying process

that was first perfected by Native Americans.

So essentially the dress, which he was taken off of her

in bits because it was sewn on to her,

he then took it to like a place and got a mannequin

and re-sewed it back onto the mannequin

and then implemented this drying process.

Yeah.

And essentially now it's jerky.

A jerky dress.

And it will be preserved.

It's Jack Lynx.

Forevermore.

It's Jack Lynx.

Jack Lynx.

Jack Lynx, natural jerky.

So it's been naturally aged using this process.

He said he kept it, he kept it,

had to be in a fridge while he was putting the stake

onto the mannequin.

He had to work in the fridge to sew it back on,

the way that it was sewed onto her body.

And now it can just last forever more.

Is it in a museum?

Is it in a, like, is it in a hard rock casino?

Yeah, I think it moves around.

Besides green days.

Besides green days guitar.

Yeah.

He like, did they actually use any of this stuff,

these musicians?

And Jimmy Hendrix's pick.

And a drumstick from Aerosmith's 1984 tour.

Yeah.

And then you go and eat their overpriced burgers and food

and you're like, this is not worth it.

Yeah.

Well, he says that there will never be another dress like it.

So it was really important to preserve.

He said, I'm not going to make any other meat dresses.

It was a one-off.

Yeah, it's not in a museum or anything.

No, no, it's not.

You can't go and visit it.

It just sort of is being preserved.

And I guess they'll probably put it somewhere

once the whole drying thing's finished.

I think that would be like a perfect exhibit somewhere.

I could be honest.

You'd think that would be in the bin.

Yeah.

Malbec is the Argentinian wine region is best known

for its malbect.

Fantastic.

It also grows Cabernet Sauvignon,

which I think you just probably put straight in the bin.

Cabsav.

Well, that's good for only a pasta dish.

Yeah, or a slow cooker.

Yeah.

And Chardonnay.

They do a Chardonnay.

What do they?

That's the wine of choice.

No, no.

Room temperature chard, buttery.

Oh, oaky.

Oh, yuck.

I can't get out of here.

Yeah.

The top six is next.

The top six times you're just allowed to disown your children.

Now, it's a wild story that on a second read,

I've completely changed.

It's completely changed who impregnated what, when, and how.

Cheapest.

The story will blow your mind.

And it happened right here in New Zealand.

Now, the actual top six is going to be pretty quick,

but there's a bit of a story I've got to tell to get you there.

Fantastic.

Now, this is a little bit hard to follow,

so I'm going to do that thing where I apply the people in the story

to people in the room.

OK.

So, Hailey.

Yes, darling.

You and Fletch are married.

Oh, my God, finally.

Oh, God.

You and Fletch are married.

OK.

Fletch has had a vasectomy.

All right.

It doesn't want children.

I don't want children either.

You've adopted some kids.

OK.

Why did we do that?

Oh, my God.

You got some adopted kids.

Then, I joined the party.

We're going to have a threesome, guys.

I hope you both read for this.

Oh, wow.

Do I have to watch?

Well, that's apparently all you do.

Oh, wait.

OK, wow.

No.

Now, according to you.

Yep.

That's what you do.

OK.

Now, according to Hailey, this threesome was for the purpose

of having children.

OK.

You.

This was purely a sexual thing.

Right.

Because he's all tied up.

Me.

I'm just there for fun.

Wait.

Are you aware that I'm wanting to be pregnant?

Unknown.

OK.

Again, I'm not speaking.

Right.

I'm present.

Right.

Now, after a series of these threesome,

where, again, I will quote,

you, Fletch, said,

you barely participated in the threesome and just watched.

Hailey assured you

that she and I were safe

by which you took to mean there was some sort of birth control.

Right.

Now, Hailey's pregnant.

Wait.

Are you the husband in the couple?

No, no, no.

You're the husband in the couple.

Right.

OK.

I'm the husband.

You've been tied up.

OK.

You're watching.

OK.

I'm doing it.

OK.

Now, Hailey gets pregnant.

You cuck.

No.

Now, this happens some time ago.

Yeah.

Some time ago.

I do know I've got twins on both sides of my family as well.

So if this is happening.

This could very much happen.

Brace yourselves.

This could very much happen because then they are in your house,

according to you, these children, they have your last name,

but you never do things like holiday with them or buy them gifts.

Sounds like me.

And in the last few years, before a 2020 separation,

you're living in a different part of the house to the kids.

We're doing well for ourselves.

That's pretty good.

No way to be seen.

I'm done.

I was just there.

Wambam, thank you, ma'am.

Out, gone.

Now, you've separated.

Right.

And you, Fletch, say these children, genetically not mine,

I want nothing to do with them.

I don't want to pay child support.

They have no claim to anything I own.

Sounds like something I would do.

It does sound like something you would do.

You've cast this quite well, I will say.

The family court has ruled in your favor, Fletch.

Thank you.

Good.

And the man's like, there's no photos of me with these children.

I barely, they were just around the house.

It's a ruthless story.

It's an insane story.

And it happened in Palmerston North.

Did it?

Well, it doesn't say where it happened,

but the Jeremy Wilkinson,

the open justice multimedia journalist for the New Zealand Herald

is based in Palmerston North.

He could have travelled.

Could have travelled.

He's a multimedia journalist.

Yeah.

But you'd say North Island somewhere.

Let's assume somewhere central North.

OK.

Wild story.

We read all about it at New Zealand Herald.

And it was quickly the number one story on the Herald last night,

wasn't it?

It was love learning when someone said a threesome,

and it's gone a bit awry.

Yeah.

Awry to the court of twins.

Yeah.

I feel sorry for the kids, most of all, I think.

Yeah.

The two of them have kind of been around and not been a great day.

You didn't know about it all of a sudden.

I absolutely don't want.

Did you know about the kids?

I'm not quoted.

I'm not commented.

I don't know.

Right.

But it's your juice.

It was my juice.

Genetically they are.

Genetically yours.

Yeah.

Huh.

They can find me on ancestry.com.

Do the spit test.

Yeah.

Wow.

I've got the top six times.

At top six times, you're allowed to say,

I don't want that child.

Yeah.

Number six on the list, if you made it on a plane.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know those kids.

The lost on a plane.

No, that's.

We were in no man's land.

We were over the Indian Ocean.

I love when parents pretend not to see anyone else on a plane

when they've got a screaming baby.

Yeah.

I don't know that.

I don't want that kid.

Number five on the list of the top six times,

you made a baby that you're allowed to say,

I don't want that baby.

When you didn't mean to, when it was an accident,

you're allowed to.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

I don't want that.

That's not mine.

I didn't mean to.

I wasn't going to do that.

That.

Me.

I don't think so.

Number four on the list of the top six times,

you made a baby that you're allowed to say,

I don't want that baby.

When they don't immediately appeal to you in the birthing unit,

when you look at it, you're like, hmm.

Don't feel anything.

No.

But a normal feeling for parents.

It does come.

You're allowed to just be like, nah.

Number three on the list of the top six ways,

you made a baby and you're allowed to be like,

I don't want that one.

When you're in a four way.

I mean, if you're in a three way,

it's only going to get more confusing and trite.

You're going to need to do some testing, I think.

Yeah.

Number two on the list of the top six times,

you made a baby that you're allowed to say,

I don't want that one.

When they said they were wearing a Conor Moore

and had a vasectomy,

which is kind of the situation in this case.

Yeah, totally.

Fletcher had a vasectomy, as you recall.

Yes.

And number one on the list of the top six times,

you made a baby and you're like, I don't want that one.

Just when you don't want one.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's like,

when you don't want one,

which is apparently what this guy did tens of years later.

It is such a wild story.

Give it a read.

Digest it.

I'd love to know the inner workings.

And where is the sperm donor?

The guy that was there for the fun times.

Well, make a great mini series.

Down that on the responsibility or Netflix.

Sorry, Robin Malcolm.

Yes.

Yeah.

Oh, you could be.

Yeah.

The midwife.

Starring Antonia Pribble.

Yes.

She'd be perfect.

That is today's top six.

Play ZDM's Fletch for the Nailie.

Play ZDM.

Namebury is like one of those baby name websites.

You can go on, get inspired.

You can go on categories and be like,

I want something that sounds like classic

or I want something that sounds floral.

I want something that sounds funky.

Yeah, totally.

You're not going to a website to get Olivia.

Olivia is just out in the ether, isn't it?

Yeah, Olivia is out there, baby.

That's one of the number one baby names.

Yeah.

Is it still?

I think it is, yeah.

We're smoking it there a few years back.

Yeah, I like Olivia.

Yeah, Olivia is left right in center.

Good morning to all of our Olivia's.

And good morning to our Olivia listeners.

If you go by Olivia or Liv, or Ea, or Olive,

or Ah, or Ah.

Or Ah.

Ali if you're all.

Or Le.

Yeah.

Or good morning to Olivia.

Or Eh.

We should say good morning to our Olive listeners.

Olives.

We should say good morning to our Antarctic listeners

and our incarcerated listeners.

Yes.

Now those are the ones.

Good morning to our Antarctic listeners.

It's a waste of a good morning.

Yeah.

It's very few.

I'm going to give it to them anyway.

If any.

They have it a fresh batch.

They might be listening on their iKart radio app.

I love following the Antarctic.

Yeah.

The Antarctic on Instagram.

Okay.

Of all the people at the New Zealand base.

Oh, cool hobby.

Yeah, cool.

So this.

What a cool use of your time.

Yeah, awesome.

Yeah.

Don't you have a wife?

No, I don't.

Anyway, don't worry about it.

She's got enough.

This nameburi website.

They've examined thousands of names that were given to fewer than 25 babies in 2020.

Meaning they're like coming up, but they're not popular yet.

And they've found names that give a futuristic twist to classic names and well-loved themes.

And this is how they've kind of predicted names over the last few years.

Names like Luna, Luca, Arlo and Arya, which are very popular now.

Yeah.

I've heard of all of those, but virtually unheard of 30 years ago.

Correct.

So they've done this, right?

Right.

So they've predicted girl names for 2050 and boy names for 2050.

I'll read some of them.

Which is still a long way away.

Yeah.

I'll be here before you know it.

Yeah.

It's literally 27 years away.

Yeah.

Okay.

For girl names.

Cosima.

Dot, which I love.

I had an Auntie Dot.

Dot.

Dot's a name.

Yeah.

Cosima.

Dot.

Iceland.

Yeah.

Maud.

Marvie.

Morgana.

Pax.

We know Pax.

Riviera.

Snow.

Vega.

Wanda.

Willoughby.

Zeta.

Ellery.

Franklin.

Now Ioni, which is a very popular now.

Now this is the list of the children who aren't vaccinated against childhood.

Yeah.

It also sounds like a list of operating systems.

It does.

iOS 18.

It does.

Yeah.

Yeah, it does.

Luna Rose.

Pandora.

Pixie.

Prairie.

Vita.

Willoughby.

And Zoe.

With a X.

Or Xo.

Xo.

Yeah.

So those are the girl name productions for 2050.

Some of them I like.

Like I really like Dot.

Yeah.

I had an Auntie Dot.

She was Scottish.

Aye.

I say it like she's dead.

She's still alive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, she's still in Scotland.

No.

No, they lived in New Zealand.

Doug and Dot.

Doug was my dad's best mate growing up.

Yeah.

And then Dot was his wife.

Doug will come and receive an Auntie.

He's Doug.

Doug and Dorothy.

Doug and Dot.

Oh, bless!

Love that.

Okay, the boy name predictions for 2050.

We've got Albi, Barney,Clement.

premiant.

Cipriane.

C-Y-P-R-I-A-N.

ypurio.

Ellen.

Elsie.

Ellen?

Ellen.

Like an Ellen key.

or Elam?

Elam.

Elam Church.

Yeah.

Elshane.

Florian.

Hale.

Helix.

Isidore, Ivo, Jupiter, Kanoa, Merritt, Ned, Ned's caught up there.

Ned's making a comeback.

It's on the way back, baby.

It's hard to get Flanders out of here.

It's still like, Ned, was it?

Ned Kelly.

Is that an Australian?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you reckon that's always been a name in Aussie?

Do you reckon that's ever died in Aussie?

Yeah, probably not.

Ned.

Well, what's Ned short for in general?

Nedric.

Neandrotrol.

And Oaks Oxford Rasmus.

We love the Rasmus.

That's how you name your baby Rasmus if it comes out and the doctor's like, smack, smack.

It's not breathing.

Smack, smack.

And then the baby goes.

Rasmus.

The last few for the boys, Rija, Rourke, Tennessee, Vision and Wilbur.

Vision.

Crazy.

God.

I'm like a real mixed bag.

Like Tennessee.

There was a news reporter called Tennessee, and every time they signed off at the end

of the news story, it sounded like Tennessee, smack.

That's your five o'clock news.

I'm Tennessee.

Wow.

Well, there you go.

If there's some inspiration for you, if you're thinking of having a baby in the near

future, call it Ned or call it Maud.

Well, there is a debate online about whether or not women find G-Bangers, G-Strings, Thongs,

actually comfortable.

Now I was, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever wore them.

I was like, why would you want something wedged up your crack all day?

It's touching the bum hole way too much.

It is.

It's getting in there.

And they shouldn't touch the butt hole.

But I had a friend, I had a friend who just exclusively wore them.

She was like, no, they're number one.

So comfortable.

Never like digging in the cheeks, never kind of like riding up or anything.

They're already in there.

There's no safety net.

There isn't a safety net.

No safety net.

If you're sharp.

There isn't a safety net.

Yeah.

But I will say about eight years ago, seven years ago, I transitioned to wearing G-Strings

at the gym because they're great under a legging.

Right.

Reduce the visible panty line.

And so now I'm like, I'm kind of, I don't care about the panty line, they're just more

comfortable in there.

Oh.

Rather than digging around and moving with you.

Does it rub up in there though?

If you're at the gym?

No, you don't.

If you get a soft one, like if you get a thickie.

Yeah.

And you feel laced and stuff.

What about when you're lunging?

You're doing lunges.

Yeah, I know.

It's not going to go further in.

Yeah, right.

What if you had a breach on the pant?

Yeah.

Well, you know, it's all out there.

It's all out there.

This is true.

Yeah.

I know.

Well, are the poll results?

We asked a silly little poll.

Do you find G-Strings or the G-Banger comfortable?

This is sort of interesting split, isn't it?

64% said no way, 36% said yes.

Okay.

Do you find G-Bangers slash thongs comfortable?

Do you think it would be less people finding it?

I thought less people, because I feel like they use, I feel like their intention was

to be like a sexy undie, which are famously never comfy.

But then the gym G came in and it's really changed my perspective.

Well, Holly agrees.

I absolutely hated them before I started wearing them to the gym.

I have a relatively fat dumper.

Me too.

So I find they don't indent my peach.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

You don't want lines digging into that beautiful, romptious, pompous.

Yeah.

Like a boy.

What are those boy?

Those were the sexiest undies.

Those boy cut undies.

Yeah.

The cheeky.

They go like halala.

You're getting half a cheek.

Get a peach.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've got those.

No, I don't.

I'd like to see you with a little cheeky undie.

Broder said I only wear thongs, comfy and I don't have any awful panty line that makes

me feel like a grandma.

Ah, yeah.

But Julie says when I was young and skinny, I definitely would say yes, they were comfy,

the tenner, the better.

But now I'm old and not skinny.

Somehow they just don't sit comfortably anymore.

Maybe you need to get out there and find one.

Yeah.

The Jim G.

Is that made of a different material?

Is that like a sporty?

Yeah, like no lace, no like cotton.

It's like a real like sporty.

Oh, that would be wavy.

Toggy almost fabric.

Yeah, right.

And like thin as hell.

Right.

Aaron says I gave up undies in 2019 and I haven't looked back.

Oh, no, I can't.

Wait, that should be another silly little poll another day.

Do you just commando?

Yeah.

There's no safety net.

There's no safety net, especially for women.

Yeah.

Zero safety net.

What's going on there?

Everyone's going to see your safety net.

Hannah says my dump would eat it up in two seconds flat.

Never be seen again.

That's a no.

Thank you.

I'm going home.

Yeah.

I'm hungry for everybody.

Honestly, it's going to get stuck up there anyway.

So it might as well be as little fabric as possible.

Yeah, exactly.

They don't ride.

It's already up there.

Because it's already up there.

Would you wear the Jim G out?

Every now and then.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

Amelia, who has a blue tic.

What?

Amelia has a blue tic.

When is she famous or something?

I don't know.

Is this Amelia?

Yeah.

It is actually.

Yeah, it is because she said when I was flying across the Atlantic.

She's a shop putter.

The Atlantic Ocean in the 1930s.

Pacific Ocean.

Wait, is this the one they can't find?

But she's got a blue tic.

She's got a blue tic.

What is going on?

No, Amelia is, yeah, from the, I have a closer look at the profile picture.

She looks to be an athlete.

She's a shop putter.

Some are awful, but no show material ones.

I completely forget I'm wearing it.

No panty line, which I just hate the look of.

Now she's an athlete.

She would be in a skin tight compression.

Yeah, you're.

Melissa.

No blue tic.

Oh, quite at the same.

Every day.

Every day, Melissa's.

Yeah.

After nobody.

Okay.

Wait, Melissa's about to want us back.

The only thing I can wear is G strings fully asked underwears from people with no asses

and they cut into your butt cheeks.

If you've got some serious aspect there.

G strings.

Yeah.

Peace sign.

Peace love.

She wants back, didn't she?

And dance is.

No.

I don't wear it, but as Vaughan knows a jockstrap is hella comfy.

I don't think people know that you wear jockstraps on a daily basis.

Primarily jockstraps.

Because you like the ass accessible.

Breathing.

And breathing.

It needs to breathe back there.

But the member cradled.

Yeah.

Comfortably cradled.

Yeah.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Enough said.

Now, we were just talking off here as well about how you should wash your jeans and how

often.

And Vaughan, you mentioned Shade washes her jeans too much.

Yeah.

Almost every time.

Like every, almost like every time she wears them, if she goes like full day, she'll chuck

them in there.

She's got like maybe four or five pairs of jeans.

I've got two pairs.

Yeah.

One blue and one black.

And then when the blue one gets dirty, which it does because it's a light blue, I wear

the black one until the blue one's clean again.

Yeah.

And then the black one just gets chucked on the floor for a bit.

And then sniffed.

And then that's fine.

And then hung up.

But how many times would you wash even the blue jeans that get stained easily?

Or if I get them dirty because I do a dumb thing like I get home and I immediately go

out into a muddy paddock and then they get covered in mud.

I'm like, oh, that needs to be washed.

Oh, let's do a spot clean unless there's something major.

Otherwise, I just don't.

Yeah.

You're not really supposed to.

I mean, when I worked in fashion, we sell really expensive jeans.

We say, like, please don't wash them.

Please don't put them in the dry.

Like wash them when they get real dirty or they start to smell, which I know feels gross.

But it just ruins the denim.

Like it just absolutely ruins them and denim is supposed to last a long time.

Well, the Levi's CEO, his name is Chip Burr.

Chip Burr.

Two words.

Chip Burr.

Burr.

He has in the past said he doesn't wash his jeans.

He spot cleans them.

He gives them a little spritz and a refresher and stuff, maybe gives the crotch a bit of

a bloody febrize.

But that's it.

Yeah.

No.

If your crotch needs for braising, give it that whole wash.

Give it a hot wash.

Not a hot wash.

A whole wash.

I would never encourage a hot wash on jeans.

No.

Unless you want a baggy.

Freakin' sad about yourself.

Yeah.

Unless you get a little baggy, then hot wash them.

That's the other reason I don't watch jeans as much.

Because if you get them back on, you're like, far out.

Yeah.

Is it me or the jeans?

He's saying to people, wear your jeans in the shower when they're in dire need of being

washed.

Or better yet, just a spot claim will do.

But he says, rather than-

In the shower?

Yeah.

Because the production of denim produces so much wasted water.

Yeah.

It is unreal.

And I think it's kind of rich.

She's coming from the bloody Levi.

Yeah.

Levi's CEO being like, here's how you can help save the planet.

We're making jeans.

They're real mess of it.

I didn't know how much they have to wash denim.

Yeah.

When they make jeans.

Because it's so hard.

So hard.

Yeah.

And some big machines where they put it on with rocks.

And the rocks pound it.

Stone wash.

That's what a stone wash is.

Yeah.

So, denim pollution.

It's got its own category.

Separate to like fast fashion or anything.

Yeah.

Denim pollution.

Scientists report that microfibers flow from washing machines into rivers, lakes and oceans

around the world, plus the amount of water that is used to actually create jeans.

That's why you shouldn't wash them because you need them to last.

You can't be buying new jeans every bloody year.

Yeah.

And I remember that I got told this, when I was working in retail, we were told freeze

your jeans and it helps kill the bacteria that makes them smelly if they're dirty.

So you just fold them up.

Put them in there and then air them out.

It'll be fine.

And then if you drop it something on your spot of sauce or whatever, just try and spot

clean it.

Yeah.

Or as my friend Callum, who you know and you've met Hailey, when we were flatting together

if his jeans were a little bit dirty, he would get them wet sometimes in the shower.

Yeah.

And then he'd roll them up so the zip was in the middle and he'd microwave them.

So then at least...

Sorry?

So then at least they were still wet, but they'd be warm.

He's trying to do it.

I was like, oh, these aren't even going to dry on time.

He's like, have you microwaved them?

I was like, you're going to have to run this behind me.

He's got a child now.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

I'm personally looking forward to being there for Hugh's first microwaving jeans lesson.

Yeah.

Well, here's your...

All right, son.

It's time to learn how to microwave your pants.

Oh, gosh.

When you put them on wet.

Oh, gosh.

Well, we spoke the other day about the cap from Levin that ended up somehow in Hamilton?

Yes.

Or Auckland?

Hamilton went from Levin to Te Araha to Auckland and then back to Levin.

And then they found out the microchip belonged in Levin.

Yeah.

And the owner was reunited with her cat three years later.

Well, this comes to my attention after the story.

The SPCA have a downloadable or I'm assuming a printout poster that you can take with stray

cat paper collars.

Okay.

Now, the idea is that you cut out this collar from the flyer and you write your telephone

number on it.

So the idea is that if you have a cat that's visiting you that you think is stray hanging

around the neighborhood, you put this collar on it.

So that when it goes back to someone's home, if it's your cat, then you can call the person

and be like, no, this isn't a stray.

It's now cat.

Yeah.

But then if it keeps hanging around, then you can call the SPCA.

I appreciate the thought behind this.

There is absolutely no way that my cat is keeping a paper collar on his neck and then

get it off.

Yeah.

I wonder if you just use a proper collar and write it right on that or like, yeah, somehow

leave a note on that.

Shame.

If someone saw your cat and was like, that's going to be a stray.

Yeah.

And then it comes home and you're like, out.

This is a bridge.

Yeah.

This is my well loved fancy cat.

Yeah.

Hard day.

Yeah.

It's just like a bagsies.

Yeah.

You don't want this.

I'll have that.

What are you doing?

Just call me.

Yeah, I did.

Just came from nowhere.

Be a broadcasting professional.

I think it's because we're talking about cats.

Suck it in.

And I'm allergic, of course.

You're not allergic to cats.

No, I'm not.

You're not allergic to cats.

No, I'm not.

You're going to myriad of cats.

Guys, I'm just quirky like that.

You're just so quirky like that.

Sometimes I make up allergies to get attention.

Yeah, I make up allergies for attention.

Such a middle child thing to do.

Do you know I'm allergic to power cables?

I chew.

I'm actually just quirky like that.

What are you allergic to?

I'm allergic to going on trade me.com.

I guess I'm just quirky like that.

Dot com.

Oh, shut up.

At least if we're going to make up quirky allergies, you've got to be factually correct.

Don't pull apart.

You've got to.

Don't pull apart my faux allergy.

I'm not allergic to Trevi.co.nz.

I'm on it right now.

I'm allergic to Trevi.com.

It's its own website.

All right, OK.

I'm quirky like that.

I'll take you somewhere else.

I'm allergic to anyone from trade me coming around to pick up anything from my house.

Oh, yeah.

You're just quirky like that.

I'm quirky like that.

You're quirky like that.

Play Zedem's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

If you're wondering why I've been feeling and looking so fresh and so wonderful, and if

you're wondered, you know, when you've come over to show me a funny video on Instagram

or something crude on the Snapchats and you're wondered why I smell so good.

I've been having a shower every single day.

Wow.

And we didn't even notice.

Pause for applause.

I forget that you don't shower every day.

Do you know we're nearly at the nine month mark?

Of no bathroom.

Yeah.

Of no shower.

I'm not having a shower.

No, I'm kidding.

No, I'm like literally not having physically a shower in the house.

And that resulted in us showering as and when we could.

By the way, the renovations, you're nearly there.

Like for the shower.

I don't want to jinx it, but surely.

For the shower, yes.

Surely like the shower.

Yeah.

The tiles are there.

They're doing a bloody good job because I've chosen apparently the most difficult tiles,

both wall and floor.

Little finger tiny tiles.

Little finger tiles and a little mosaic floor tiles.

Yeah.

Tiles notoriously love though.

That's their favorite tiling job.

Yeah.

They were definitely like, oh God, there's some beautiful, big, nice slate tiles we could

have a look at.

And I was like, nope.

I want the little mini ones.

You want eight buckets of grout stuck to your wall.

Yeah.

That's what I want.

That's what she wants.

No, but because I've been doing my show and I have to say thank you to everyone who's come

to the show so far, I haven't been coming out to say hi.

And I know a few people have mess with me on Instagram being like, we're at the show tonight.

I would love to meet you afterwards.

And I was like, no, because literally straight after the show, I'm getting in the theater

shower and I'm having a shower every night.

I'm, I'm shaven.

I'm face washing.

I'm hair masking.

I'm like the venue tech has to wait to close up the venue for me.

Because you're having a fall.

I'm doing a fall.

I'm doing the full shower.

Clean my hair last night.

Did a hair mask.

Yeah.

Had a little shavy wavy.

Just, I'm just feeling fresh.

You're a new person.

I'm sharing every day.

It's a, it's a revelation to me.

It is weird how when you don't do something for a little while, you forget.

Yeah.

It was becoming very normalized in our household to just like go a few days without a shower

and be like, yeah.

Like, like during lockdown, some people skip showers and washing their teeth.

Yeah.

Maybe people stop brushing their teeth.

Yeah.

I'm still brushing my teeth and stuff, but literally when I get in the lift out of the

car and the work building, it's the first time I see myself for the day.

Sometimes a shock.

Sometimes an absolute.

A pleasure.

A pleasure to behold me.

But yeah, I just, I just wanted to let everyone know.

What's the shower pressure at the theater like?

It's not a great shower.

It's been a number of years since it was installed, but it's like enough.

It's just a box shower.

It's private.

Removable.

Yeah.

The hand.

It comes off.

And does it have different settings?

This setting, it's on.

It's fine.

This setting, it's on.

It's fine.

And shout out to the venue tech for just waiting a little bit longer.

Yeah.

Right.

Wow.

So the hair mask.

Because you've got to put the hair mask in and then wait five minutes.

How long does the hair mask have to stay?

Five minutes.

What does that five minutes say?

And then you wash it out.

Yeah.

Is that like a conditioner?

Yeah.

Like a little treatment.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's been five minutes.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, welcome to the world of showering every day like the rest of us.

Yeah.

Well, and if you do come to my shows and you're like, where is she?

I want to see her afterwards.

She's showering.

She's washing.

She's just washing herself.

As is my privilege to do.

Play.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

So speaking of musicians, Cole plays in a bloody conundrum at the moment.

They're countersuing their former manager for $17 million.

So this manager.

He's doing this.

He's suing them.

Yeah, bro.

So what happened is the former manager Dave Holmes, I think he's his manager for like

20 years.

Oh, wow.

It's as long as he's been a band, right?

He's been there from the start.

He has made some sweet money off Coldplay.

Exactly.

But apparently they quietly parted ways last year.

Right.

Now, the reason why is probably due to the fact that he ended up suing Coldplay and saying

that they owed him 10 million pounds, so about $20 million worth of unpaid commission

related to their 10th and 11th studio albums.

So like a music manager gets a commission from the album.

Hell yeah, man.

Or he'd do all the deals.

He'd do the willing and the dealing and then gets a little cut.

But because they parted ways, they were like, no.

And he was like, yes, you owe me $20 million.

And Coldplay was basically like, you want to go there?

Let's go there.

Dot, we don't owe you this money.

You actually owe us money.

So apparently he had wasted a whole bunch of money on just really ridiculous purchases,

including stuff that he said he was buying for the tour, but it wasn't for the tour.

He's kind of taken the piss a little bit.

Right.

And millions of dollars.

We've all taken the piss a little bit.

We've all taken the piss a little bit with the company credit card.

We all take the piss a little bit.

Now, he has said that they've said, well, you actually owe us 10 million pounds.

Right.

Because you spent that on these big pylons we couldn't use, screens that were too big.

You didn't take any care in that, plus a whole lot of other stuff.

So they're actually countersuing for a little bit more than he's sewing.

Basically being like, get it, go away.

Yeah.

And we won't see this through.

But if you want to see it through, we'll do this.

But that's someone like the manager.

Since day one, that's like someone very close to you.

Yeah, totally.

This reminds me of the businessman who was like trying to sue the company he used to work for.

And he was like, oh, you owe me this and damages and this and this.

And they were like, okay.

And they did a bit of digging and found out he'd been stealing from the company for years.

And they were like, well, okay.

Well, you owe us this money then.

And then went, oh, yeah, we'll just be quiet.

Because I have actually been stealing from you for a while.

I mean, this is a little close.

Oh, I probably can't even say.

Oh, I see.

Oh, good.

He's a little close to home, shall we say, but people taking, you know,

people close to you taking a bit of a liberty.

I wonder if we could take some, get some stories of like when someone close to you,

because this is someone a 20 year relationship that is essentially stolen from them.

And they've had to call it out when someone close to you stole from you.

I stole something from your bathroom.

Oh God, that feels good to say.

Wait, you stole from my bathroom.

No, I'm kidding.

I didn't.

Chris Martin could say to that old manager, name one of the other people in the band.

We'll call it a little off.

And the manager will be like, what?

And he's like, well, I'm Chris Martin.

Name one of the other.

How many people are in the band?

He'll be like, for all of you and five others.

I'm actually just looking at photos of all of them.

And I do not recognize a single bit of them.

Okay.

I was your manager for 20 years.

Okay.

Coldplay is Chris Martin and that guy, one of the guys in coldplay.

Greg?

Looks like you and Ben Barrington from Shortland Street had a baby.

Oh, cute baby.

I mean, it's just bald in the beard.

It's a bald man with a beard, isn't it?

Yeah.

Johnny Buckland.

Johnny.

And of course the bassist.

Adam Stephens.

Yeah, of course.

And world champion.

Yeah.

The drama.

Of course.

Okay.

Name the other two members of the Foo Fighters.

Which ones?

Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins.

Yep.

Nate Pat.

Nate.

Nate and Pat.

Yeah, there you go.

Anyway, let's get some calls in and some messages of when someone close to you stole.

It doesn't have to be on a huge scale.

We end up suing them, but when you're just like, oh my God.

Well, you always hear about like one of the siblings that rips off their sick mom or dad.

Yeah.

And then they die.

And then the rest of the siblings are like, well, where's mom and dad's money?

And they're like, I went to Europe.

Well, mom and dad really wanted me to go to Europe.

Yeah.

I know.

This is what they wanted on their deathbed.

I was there and my dad said to me, go on a Kentucky.

I know you're in your 40s now, but go on a Kentucky.

It won't be weird at all.

Dad, I think it will be.

Yeah.

Dad, I need more money.

I can't just do a Kentucky.

I'm too old for that now.

Kentucky.

Yeah.

But maybe, maybe a partner, a brother or a sister.

Yeah.

Your own parents.

Yeah.

Maybe stole from your family.

And you were like, that's my dad.

And you had to punish it.

No more.

That's a document.

You're talking about a documentary.

You had to be like, you're a naughty stepmom.

Let's take some calls.

1-800-DALZ-M.

You can text through 966.

The messages are coming in already.

Okay, great.

Let's talk about this.

When someone close to you stole.

Play ZM's Fletch for Denali.

Play ZM.

ZM.

So we want to know when someone close to you stole from you.

Yeah.

Some wild messages coming in.

I know.

Dodgy.

People are dodgy.

Let's start with an anonymous caller.

Anonymous, good morning.

What happened?

Morning guys.

How are you going?

Really good.

Thank you.

Good.

Yeah, so we started up a brand new business.

And being the good family members,

we employed the brother-in-law.

Trained him up and everything he needed to know.

And when he joined up,

he started the exact same business

and direct competition

and stole our customers and clients.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, no.

I'll say it.

What a bastard.

And so is he now an ex-brother-in-law?

Do you know what funny thing is he is?

Absolutely.

Gone.

Yeah, good.

Was he married to one of your siblings

or was he your partner?

Husband.

Yeah, husband.

Yeah.

Husband.

God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

So it's your husband's something.

Husband's brother-in-law.

But she's married to the husband.

Yeah, yeah.

No blood relation to either of them.

They're like Aaron's sister's husband.

Yeah.

Screwed us over.

Yeah.

So you can get rid of them.

Don't do that, Doug.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

And so were there like trade secrets

and like he would have known everything?

Yeah, everything.

Yeah, yeah, we totally, yeah.

He knew nothing coming into the business

and then knew everything, leaving it and took it with him.

Did you manage to get your business going again?

No, we didn't, out of our choice after a few years.

But still, yeah, yeah, he's still doing it.

Oh my God, that's so rough.

Text us the company privately and we will never support.

12 minutes away from, I had some messages in.

When did somebody close to you steal?

My uncle went into business with my mother

and took off with it all of her deposit for the business.

Oh my Lord.

My husband's cousin stole his identity when he came to New Zealand.

What?

My sister-in-law stole $500,000 from her brother's business over at least.

What?

She was caught doing the box and asked for a draft extension at the bank

and they had a new bank manager who looked at the account

and she was like, yep.

And then she eventually got caught and prosecuted.

Oh my Lord.

Jesus.

Keep your stories coming in.

Juicy.

That's juicy.

Juicy.

Well, I've always said it.

Never trust anyone.

Ever.

Full stop ever.

That's your life motto.

I was playing a video game yesterday

and one of the characters was like,

you know what I've always said?

Never trust anybody.

Ever.

And I was like, oh my God,

that made Fletcher do a video game character.

What's this?

Yours is never trust anyone ever.

Yours is if don't try and you won't be disappointed.

Is that right?

The first step to failure is trying.

We actually should do a TED talk.

We should do a joint TED talk.

I think it would be realistic for people.

The anti-life coach.

Inspiring stuff.

We're talking about when someone close to you

has ripped you off.

Coldplay's manager has been counter sued

because he says Coldplay, you owe me money

and Coldplay, all of Coldplay,

we know all of their names.

We know all of their names.

Chris.

Joff.

Green.

Richie.

Common.

Bright.

Some of stealing.

They've said that they were just

Bad management.

Bad management of the money.

Yeah, totally.

But it's got us on to this.

My ex-partner took credit cards out of my name

when we were together.

I didn't know about it until a year afterwards.

Split and I had the debt collectors turn up saying

I owed them $16,000.

$16,000.

That's my worst nightmare.

Man, the banks will lend people a lot of money.

Yeah, they will.

My mum had an accountant that stole tens of thousands

of dollars from her over eight years,

created fake invoices, etc.

And I was paying herself.

What?

And then also charging mum.

It was pretty unreal.

My work colleague was stealing for about

three to four years a substantial amount of money

who was always a very close friend of ours.

Found this out and had to report it.

And nobody would listen to me or believe me.

And that was the most heart-breaking part of it.

Yeah.

It was because they chose to believe them

the thief over me even though I had the proof.

My mother-in-law stole $20,000

from her nan while she was meant to be doing grocery shopping

for her.

She wasted it all on gambling.

That's a sad...

Yeah.

There's a few ones of those people who were

with horrendous addictions.

Yeah.

My husband didn't find out until I came into the picture

and his cousins warned me about her and her family do.

They hit it for my husband because they didn't want

him to be angry at his mum for doing it.

Right.

My auntie stole the Kohar box from my granddad's tonguey.

She said he would have wanted her to have it

when she went poor.

No.

No, no, no, no.

Did you?

He's always one auntie though, ain't that me?

That bloody off.

Did you say that there was a story about how expensive

funerals are and how many people are putting themselves

into like personal debts?

Oh my God.

For funerals.

Fifth me in a hole, man.

Chuck me straight.

Sing a little bit of Fakari Am I?

That's the only thing I want.

Oh man, the bottom of the recycling bin.

You're not recyclable.

No, you're going in the green bin.

But then there's somebody else's problem.

No, he's in the red bin.

The bin's recycling.

No, the yellow lid's recycling.

Reds landfill.

Well, so those trucks are symmetry if not just a human landfill.

Yeah, those trucks pick it up with the MacBow.

They wouldn't see it.

They wouldn't even see you go in.

Totally.

But the green bin too.

You could hot compost me.

I wouldn't be mad.

Hot compost me at Nadia Lim's farm.

Oh, you should have hot compost.

You should have hot compost.

You should have better hot compost.

Some whims.

Oh my God.

We can go to Queenstown.

Oh my God.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And we'll think about our friend and we'll take his credit card

and one of us had these dumplings.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I do actually want you to have dumplings.

Thank you.

I let my dad $20,000 to help him buy a house he paid off.

All his debt didn't buy a house at all.

And then told the rest of the family he felt bad for me

because I'll never get that buddy back.

Why?

I don't mean to laugh.

I don't know.

My auntie and I.

I'm sorry, but you could have seen.

It sounds like you could have seen that coming.

Yeah.

But it's your dad, I think.

How many movies and TV shows and real life stories

have you heard about dads getting one more chance

and always blowing it?

Yeah.

My auntie and uncle stole my car, wrecked it,

left it in another town.

I had to go pick it up when I got there.

I was like, well, that's not going anywhere.

So I just had to sell it to some local wreckers.

What?

Again, you can't trust anybody.

Ever.

Stop ever.

Old flatmate moved out on his own terms.

No bad blood.

He was always a little bit dodgy.

So we weren't mad about him leaving.

But when we got home he'd taken our computers, TV

and random stuff like my engagement ring.

We rang the police, obviously.

Yeah.

But insurance wouldn't pay out because he had a key

and entry to the house.

So technically we weren't robbed.

Yeah.

That's wild.

They're still stole from you.

My partner's now ex-wife of 25 years,

stole $600,000 over a 12 month period.

Sorry?

600,000.

Wait, how did they not notice that?

I don't know.

Maybe they were in charge of the books, you know?

Yeah.

If someone's in charge of the books,

they can get away with it for a while.

I guess they can.

We thought my granddad had been buried in his wedding band

when he died 20-odd years ago

until our male cousin's wedding day.

And what was that being used?

What?

No!

That is a family discussion.

The odd density.

Never bury a family member in jewellery.

No.

Because if you don't steal it, somebody else will.

Yeah.

100%.

Don't put it on your will either,

like bury me in this.

Don't say it.

It's an absolute waste.

Melt it down so nobody knows.

Have a tooth.

Yeah.

Get a tooth.

I can't wait to get a gold tooth.

No, I don't.

Which one are you going to get?

That one that I got there.

I think they look tacky.

Oh, yeah, the back one.

The one that is actually broken.

They look tacky.

I mean, to each their own.

I won't be doing it.

They look tacky.

I'm sorry, they look tacky.

They do look tacky.

Oh, I'll say it.

They look tacky.

No, of course you can say that.

No, you're going to wear some shorts

and a Star Wars t-shirt from Walmart

and have a gold tooth.

Yes!

Where are you putting this focus?

Ready to be crowned.

Passion is his passion.

It is.

There will be a.

Play.

schedules Fletsy one and hailey girl

mass.

The way we would have had a little

titty.

Shaked this.

They don't look like that.

It's got loose.

You got a warming of arvicim much

to be honest that was that.

crame test gone.

I had yesterday.

Yeah.

It's girl.

Tell me that was a lot prima.

It's gone.

I'll get up to girl math now.

My update.

last episode of Girl Math, where we Girl Math,

these boots that we have been harping on

to Fletch to buy, because they look so good on you.

They are in with-

Like six months?

Yeah, ages.

So you know what, I finally, at the weekend,

I messaged Georgia and I said, I did it, I did it.

I did it online.

And because I went into the store and they were like,

we don't have them here, you have to do it online.

It's like, click, click, click, click, buy.

And then just last night,

I showed you the email this morning,

they emailed saying,

we don't have any of these boots anymore.

I don't want any of those boots.

Australia, New Zealand, out.

Totally out.

So he's been refunded, which is bad news,

but it's free money now.

It's free money now.

Because that's money that you're happy to part with

and it's back.

So we've actually just made Fletch go get us some coffees.

I was just bullied into buying coffee

because I apparently have free money.

Free money!

Because this is how Girl Math works.

I'm looking up, you could save yourself some money.

I'm looking if anybody's gonna need a second hand one

on Facebook.

You do that and we're gonna go to our Girl Math today.

Bria, Kia ora, Bria.

Hi.

Welcome to Girl Math.

Thank you.

Now, you are considering making this purchase

or you've already made it?

I'm considering making this purchase.

I just wanna say, first time call-along, I'm not sure.

Mal, let's give them out.

Yay!

Well, welcome to the show.

Welcome, Bria.

This is the same purchase you've been considering

Hailey for years.

Yes, but I feel I'm not worthy of it

and I'll tell you why.

Bria, tell us the purchase you wanna make.

So, I want to purchase a pair of Karen Walker Rapture

sunglasses in black.

Now, here they are.

I'm showing you the glasses.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Style manifest.

Do you remember when Adele was here

or when she was seen wearing Karen Walker's

and everyone got excited

because it's a New Zealand designer

and they're like a townweather.

Absolutely.

Is that what Adele wears?

Karen Walker's sunglasses are a staple

of the New Zealand fashion scene.

I have never owned a single pair, right?

Because I always, all one,

why should I own a pair of Karen Walker sunglasses?

I broke Karen Walker's Barbie sunglasses.

I know.

In front of her, in studio.

In front of her.

Yeah.

You don't deserve it is what you're saying.

And the whole reason I was like,

I can't buy Karen Walker's sunglasses

is because I was like, I'll just break them.

Are you a bit more sort of good with your belongings, Bria?

Yeah, I reckon I'll be really good with these ones

because that won't be perfect.

Because they're $280.

Yeah, okay, wow.

I think I'll treat them really well.

Yeah, I feel like Hailey would leave them

on a table at a bar.

Like I leave my phone in a time handbag the other day.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would.

And that's why I don't deserve to have them,

but Bria does.

We're going to bring in our GirlMath Girlies,

Shannon and Karwen.

Hello.

Do you guys own Karen Walker's sunglasses?

I wish.

These lofty dreams we have owning these sunglasses.

But these are really good.

Do you guys want to kick things off?

Yeah, so look, I'm going to go by my role

of five ways to wear.

One of the five ways you can wear this, right?

I've made this list for you.

Because people like sunglasses, you wear them in the sun.

One way and you wear them.

One way and that's on your eyes.

On the face and the sun.

When welding.

No.

No, they won't be sufficient.

They're not sufficient.

To save you from welding blindness.

Okay.

Look, wasn't on my list, but I don't know.

But you could make it six.

We could add it.

Yeah, welding.

Spot welding.

Okay, number one, welding.

Number two.

Okay, number two, driving.

Yes.

We need some protection when we're driving.

Haven't for a bit, Bria, get sun,

you know, you turn around one of those corners,

sun strike, and she's causing a crash.

Now we're getting a new car.

I mean, that's what?

Yeah.

$20,000.

Exactly.

What kind of car are you driving, Bria?

Just a little Mazda Demio.

Fully insured.

Are we fully insured?

I hope so.

Okay, well, she's paying the premium if she crashes.

So that's about 400 bucks.

Number two.

What do you save that?

We're coming into summer at the beach.

Oh my God, of course.

Number three.

To work.

It adds a little bit of elevation to your work.

Out of the sun glasses at work.

Yeah.

Put together.

Yeah.

Number four.

If you're putting welding.

To hide your hangover.

Oh my God, it's a mast.

We've all been there.

Yeah.

It's an absolute mast.

Which is why Haley wears her sunglasses to work.

Yeah.

And then my last option is on a date.

You look mysterious.

You look chic.

You look hot.

Oh my God.

So now you're getting a husband out of this.

But what if it's at night?

What if the state's at night time?

Even more mysterious.

Exactly.

Even more chic.

So if you're breaking that down, you've got.

To hide your sty.

Yes.

You've got a sty in my eye.

Seven to hide your sty.

Let's just say if those are the only wears we can come up with,

including Karwan's five, Fletcher's welding.

Are you into welding, Briah?

No.

Don't be, though.

What about a cycle relay race?

You'll need sunglasses during the end.

Cycle relay.

So if we break it down by seven costs of wears,

hiding the sty included, it's 40 per use, basically.

That's not bad, really.

Now, I mean, that's a cheap pair of glasses.

How much do you think some glasses cost?

I don't even catch the RR.

280.

So pause for want to recover.

We're trying to make these wear.

Where are the kids getting the jupes these days?

Glasses.

Now, Shannon, Shannon, can we get a price check

on a glasses pair of jupes?

$29.99.

But it's not a Karen Walker.

No one's going to walk past her and be like, oh, my God.

Have you got the glasses glasses?

No offense, glasses.

Mine are from Glasses.

Shannon.

Yeah, I mean, immediately we can also divide that by two.

Two eyes.

You're protecting two eyes.

They get to use all those useless.

$20 for all of the things someone would do.

You're taking the piss.

That's taking the piss.

Oh, well, you're going to put a sunglass on one eye, are you?

Well, a sunglass is no purple one eye.

Come on, will you, Shannon?

Ignore him.

He's got no sense.

And sunglasses, a pair of sunglasses.

No, you don't buy a sunglass.

A sunglass would be 140.

You're taking the mix.

Carry on.

Well, something really important

is the actual benefits of wearing sunglasses.

Now, I've fallen down a big medical hole this morning.

But basically, there's a thing called photokiratitis.

No one wants that.

Right, I just want you to.

Do you want photokiratitis, Bryna?

Absolutely not.

Do you want photokiratitis, Bryna?

No.

You could lose your vision for 48 hours

due to overexposure to UV.

I've looked.

Karen guarantees that these are UV-protected sunglasses.

Oh, Karen does.

She's got self-respect.

Are they polarized?

Looking at some of the, like, disadvantages,

you could get migraines from UV exposure, headaches.

You can get snow blindness if you're in the snow.

Now, Bry is taking sick days.

Sick days.

Doctors bills, panadol up the wazoo.

Oh, my gosh.

Up the waz.

By 2024 is our season.

No, I don't think you should put panadol up your wazoo.

I did once at the university.

The fastest way to get into the bloodstream.

To get into the bloodstream.

I would also go, like...

I can't swallow a pill with that water,

and I was just, you know, in the middle of the mall, so...

I was recently following...

Bry, I'm so sorry.

The immaturity that has just infiltrated the studio right now.

Your opinions are definitely better with their coating.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The shimmery coating.

Easy to get in.

You need that.

What you don't want to do is accidentally pop a dispar in.

Yeah, no.

No, you'll know all about it.

You'll be fizzing at the bunghole.

You'll know all about it, quite literally.

I also think, so you're avoiding all these medical bills,

and I was also going, like,

you hear of these horrendous freak accidents, right, Bry?

Like, what do you do for a living?

Um, actually, just a student.

Oh, you can't afford these sunglasses if you're a shooter.

If you're a shooter, you shut your mouth, you shut your mouth.

Yeah, I know that.

Cost of living, what is it?

You're the living allowance.

Yeah, oh, God.

Oh, this is great.

It's not real money.

Yeah.

Which city are you studying in?

Christchurch.

Okay, so I'm thinking there's a lot of pollen down there.

There's a lot of wind down there.

Things are going to be blowing into your eyes.

You can get these.

I've been reading about, like, the kind of things

that can blow into your eyes can actually get so bad

that you're going to need a whole eye replacement.

In New Zealand, to get a brand new...

What are you talking about, class?

What's getting blown into your eyes?

Sand, straw, wind.

Asbestos.

Yeah.

That's chemicals going straight into her eye.

She's getting an ocula implant.

That's $8,000 in New Zealand.

And a lot of the time...

I reckon ACC would cover it, though.

Well, still.

You're still going to pay a little bit if it's ACC.

Yeah.

I mean, she's saving herself thousands and thousands here.

And an eyeball.

And I will say, Brian, like, they've done well with the ocula implants,

but they never quite looked like the original eye.

Yeah.

You can always tell.

They don't move the same.

Well, it doesn't move, does it?

No.

It's Brian.

And you know when people have been like,

oh, my God, I was talking to Brian,

and I didn't know if she was talking to me

or the person beside me.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I mean, we're not trying to save Brian money.

We're trying to save Brian's eyeballs.

Well, do you know what?

Somebody's actually messaged in,

and I'm surprised the girl, Matthew,

the girly, Matthew, girly's missed this one.

Protecting your eyes from the sun stops you squinting.

And when you squint, you get limes,

and then you're prematurely aging yourself.

You've got Botox and Filo.

That's like eight to eight to 100 bucks pop.

And Brian might get like,

filler in the sides to fill in her saggy bags

from not wearing sunglasses,

and then it might go wrong,

and now she's got a drooping eye.

Yeah.

And then we got revert back

to having to get an ocular implant.

You've got saggy bags,

got saggy bags in the family, Brian,

or is that a problem?

A saggy face to family, Brian?

No.

Not too bad.

Tight, tight.

Because they're wearing sunglasses.

Yeah.

Okay, sunglasses.

What do we think?

I think if she is not to spend

280 measly dollars

supporting a New Zealand designer

of whom we are very proud of, Karen Walker,

and buying these sunglasses,

Brian's at risk of losing both of her eyeballs

and all of her money.

So is it basically free?

It's not basically free.

She's making money and keeping her eyeballs.

Brian, you simply must.

I simply must.

Has that helped at all, Brian?

Absolutely.

Don't purchase.

Buy now, hon.

Buy now.

Yeah, they're in the cart right now.

They're in the cart.

They're in.

Thank you so much, Brian.

Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

So Meta had one of its big future conference things,

like here's where we're heading,

here's what we're coming up with,

and Mark Zuckerberg launched Meta's Plan

to basically get ahead of AI

and get on board with it

by creating these virtual assistants

that are the likeness

or an AI kind of character they're calling them

that are based on a celebrity,

and celebrities are actually getting involved.

Now, a woman on TikTok

kind of summed it up quite well.

This is Billie,

the AI alter ego of Kendall Jenner,

who is your local ride or die managed by Meta.

Kendall Jenner herself spent a few hours in the studio

to get a couple million in the bank,

and now her likeness,

Bryce Karen Marjorie put it,

an extension of her consciousness

will be operated by one of the most profitable companies

in the world for two years.

Wait guys, we can now chat with them.

Hey, I'm Billie, your older sister in Confidant.

Got a problem? I've got your back.

These things genuinely want your time, obviously.

They're not useful tools.

They're being used as companions to reel you in.

So basically, some of these celebrities,

including Kendall Jenner and Snoop Dogg,

are going in to studios,

lending their voice to things,

and then they have these characters

that aren't called Kendall,

but they're like, I'm like Kendall,

or I'm like...

And it's her voice.

And likeness?

Yeah, and so you can, like,

chat to them,

and it's got a photo of them,

and it's their likeness.

And they're like, hey, what do you like?

But, like, so,

there's a TikTok star called Charli D'Amelio,

who's, like, quite famous,

and then her character was Coco,

and then there's all these glitches,

like, people were trying them

and being like, hey, Coco,

teach me a TikTok dance.

And then the AI one's like, I don't do TikTok.

And it's like, but that's what you're known for.

Yeah, yeah.

And then, like, contradicting all these, like, brands

that they are ambassadors for and whatnot,

like, Kendall Jenner's a brand ambassador for this,

and they'd ask them about, like,

what's the best tequila in the world?

And she'd say a different tequila

that's not her own brand,

and everyone was like, gotcha.

But who's going to be using this?

Like, would you chat to an AI avatar

that's like a celebrity?

It's creepy.

For me, it feels sad.

It's sad, and it is creepy,

because, yeah, that Kendall Jenner one was like,

hey, it's Coco, your big sister, or whoever.

It's Coco.

Coco is Amelio.

Charli D'Amelio.

Hey, I'm just like your big sister and confidante.

And you know it's not some, like,

13-year-old being like, hey, I need help

with this thing of being teased.

It'll be like some creepy old man being like,

I'm a little girl, too.

Right now.

But you chat with them.

This is the thing.

It's like, it's a bot that you chat with.

And they speak.

They speak, not type.

They can speak to you, but they type as well.

OK, right.

You can, like, chat, or you can, like, message them.

It does feel icky.

Yeah.

It feels icky.

Yeah.

And then, but they chat really, like, colloquially.

Like, there's an example of this person chatting to the,

um, the, what's her name?

Charli D'Amelio.

Charli D'Amelio, Coco character.

And it's like, hey, it's Coco, the dance queen,

ready to help you move better.

What style are you feeling right now?

And they're like, suggestions to make a viral TikTok?

And she's like, mm, I don't do TikTok.

Wrong.

If you want to go viral, you can do some serious dance moves.

And I'll be willing to go viral in real life too.

Know what I mean?

Wink.

And the person was like, nope.

Explain yourself.

Sorry, not my style.

I like to keep it classy and funky fresh.

You feel me?

Like, it's just full of.

Yeah.

That's weird.

Talking to someone you acknowledge is fake.

Just seems odd to me.

I'd rather talk to my real friends.

Fletch and Vaughn.

About the dance moves and the TikToks we can make together.

I'll be omg, omg

Come on, let's get funky.

Play Zed Em's Fletch for the Nailie.

Play Zed Em's F-

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.

Well, that was a shambles struggle.

Sometimes I have to breathe halfway through the jingle.

Oh, it's your long coat.

No, but the other, do you know the other day

I did a whole length of the 25-minute poll

holding my breath?

I know, I know.

Underwater?

Underwater. Underwater breaststroke.

Yeah.

So you were like a frog.

I was like a frog. Under the water.

Breaststroke's the only stroke I do.

I hate freestyle.

It's too messy.

Do you know freestyle,

you can technically do whatever you want.

Breaststroke is really hard.

Because it's the freestyle,

it's just that that is the quickest,

that is the quickest swimming pace there is.

Yeah.

Breaststroke, I was just,

well, I was better at it at school.

So that's the one that I do when I get in the pool.

Oh, no, butterfly is the real hard one.

Butterfly sucks.

I can't do that.

I don't like to swim the backwards one.

Backstroke sucks, because I get dizzy.

My head goes back too far and then I get wet.

And I'm like hitting the plastic lane with your wrist.

Like, ow!

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway.

And then you go turnt and it wore up, you know.

Awful.

Good chat.

Today's fact of the day,

we continue rollercoaster week.

Good.

Today we're going to do some wham, wham, wham.

We're doing the fastest, the longest and the highest.

Okay.

Wow.

Fastest rollercoaster.

We go to Abu Dhabi.

Oh.

I didn't know they had rollercoasters.

Abu Dhabi, they've got everything.

Yeah.

I'm also surprised the only one of these three things

is in Abu Dhabi or the United Arab Emirates,

because they do things like they build

extravagantly expensive things.

Just to say that's the something, something in the world.

Is there a outdoor theme park in Dubai?

Because they've got everything.

For tourists.

Abu Dhabi is just up the road.

Yeah, I know.

But Abu Dhabi, I don't remember their being.

I've been there a couple of times.

I don't remember their being a massive theme park.

Ferrari world?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I remember the car racing stuff.

Is that got a roller coaster?

Ferrari world has the formula Rosa.

It is a roller coaster that was opened in 2010.

It is the world's fastest roller coaster

where it will reach a maximum speed of 240 kilometers an hour.

Yes!

Is it one of those ones?

Is it one of the eletro...

Fastest?

Yes, you reach...

Oh, I know, sorry.

Is it an eletromagnet where they...

Is that the one, like, you know,

the superman ride it on the Gold Coast,

where it goes from zero to a bajillion.

Oh, that pulls, yeah.

And it just goes...

And you're super fast.

I love those.

So it is...

The track is 2.195 kilometers long.

Yeah.

And you'll get rounded in one and a half minutes.

So you're honking.

Yeah.

And you reach 4.8G.

Geeze.

4.8G's at the take-off.

You want to go to the toilet before...

Here's a bloody Formula Rosa POV.

World's fastest coaster.

Honking!

That's an incredible video.

Oh, wow.

Well, that looks so much fun.

I encourage you, not while you're driving,

but to YouTube Formula Rosa POV.

Far out your hurtling.

The longest roller coasters to ride around the world

is the Steel Dragon 2000,

which held the title.

It's in Japan.

Japan?

Japan.

GeoPan.

Yeah.

It's at the Nagashima Spa Land Resort Amusement Park.

That's a mouthful.

Cut it right back down.

Yeah.

That tells nicely you can have a roller coaster

and then a hop-hop.

And a spa.

Oh, my God, you hop into a lovely little spa.

It's the longest roller coaster in the world.

It is four kilometers long.

Wow.

And we'll take you a long time to get around it,

because it's not like super fast.

Yep.

But it's very up, down, round.

Like old school roller coaster, big up at the start.

The rest of it's kind of woody doodly.

Woody doodly.

You heard it here first.

You heard it at those.

That's the term.

The highest roller coaster in the world.

Is this that one in America?

Yes, the Kingdom Car.

What is the one they built and they had to shut down or redo?

Was that a Hydra slide?

You know, people kept dying on it.

Yes, the one that was, you went too vertical.

Yeah.

And people were like hitting the,

where it started to slope again.

They were hitting it too hard.

Yeah.

No, I don't.

I'm not familiar with the situation.

Yeah, well, thank God.

Ah, and it shoots straight up.

It goes 90 degrees up.

Is that the one you showed a video of yesterday?

I showed you the picture of the Kingdom Car.

Yeah, I've been on a version of that.

There's one at Knott's Prairie Farm called the Accelerator.

Same thing.

It pulls you back and then shoots you fast forward

and you go up almost 90.

No, this just takes off.

You hit 5G in it.

So even the G's are more than the.

Yeah, right.

But it's because you go straight up.

From the ground level, you go up 139 meters straight.

Yeah.

And then at the top, you turn over

and then as it comes down, it twists and throws you.

Almost like a roller coaster that goes up the Tower of Tira

and then goes down.

Down the other side.

Like if you're familiar with Dream World.

I would think it would be higher than the Tower of Tira.

It's an incredibly high structure.

And then just shoots the rest of the.

I know it's roller coaster week this week,

but maybe we should give it a break next week,

but maybe in a few weeks, we could do log flume week.

Someone did suggest log flume week.

Because how good are log flumes?

You couldn't do log flume right on the heels of roller coaster.

Now I'm just watching the Kingdom Car Bloody POV video

from Six Flags.

It goes straight up, hey?

Yes.

By your mind.

Yep, it's very tall and very vertical.

With a VR headset, they could film something

that would adequately sort of like give you the.

Move the chair.

You want to get the G, but you'd get the feeling.

Here it goes.

It's going up, it's going up, it's going up.

Man, that is insanely tall.

It's still going up, still going up, still going up.

It's still going up, still going up, still going up,

still going up.

It goes up vertical.

And on the top and.

Whoa!

Going down, going down, going down, going down, going down.

And now we're going down, going down.

The fork screws down.

It goes up vertical down, that's insane.

That's pretty wild.

Well, I mean, I just, I'd love to go on.

Jump on YouTube, jump on YouTube

and watch a whole lot of different roller coasters

around the world.

So today's fact of the day was a little summation

of the fastest, longest and highest roller coasters

in the world.

Ugh!

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah.

Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

字幕配置

Celebrity news this morning from the Smith family.

Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith.

Yeah, not separating.

Just haven't been together for seven years.

So everyone's like, what?

She was being interviewed on a show

and there was talking about,

because they've always had been very open

about their interesting dynamic, right?

That they're like, she had a girlfriend for a while

or something like that.

And they're allowed to see other people.

Straight up, they've not been together for seven years,

but they were like, in 2016, they got exhausted with trying.

They were both still stuck in their own fantasy

of what they want the other person to be for them.

So they decided to part ways,

but said that they would never divorce.

They're gonna remain a couple.

Does that make it even more remarkable

when he slapped Chris Rock?

He wasn't even with his wife.

And I said, then everyone's been,

apparently at some point in this whole time,

Chris Rocks has asked Jada Pinkett Smith out on a date.

What?

To get back at him?

No, I don't know where it was in the timeline,

but apparently that's been a thing as well.

Right.

And then everyone was like, so you're not even together.

And then other people are like,

he's still the mother of his children and all that.

Yeah, but they just sound like a monogamish,

long-term gay couple.

Monogamish.

You know what I mean?

They're just like, they're best friends,

but they just sleep with other people.

And that's just a thing.

So that straight people don't do as much.

You mentioned monogamish.

This is versus, I don't know, we don't know.

Oh, Slime.

Aaron can have a lover if he wants one.

Absolutely.

Well, he let you have a pass card for Jess and my mom.

Absolutely.

And that's still in play, very much so.

Right.

You're chippin' away there.

Chippin'.

Chippin' away.

Chippin' where?

So the term monogamish has actually really been

back in the zeitgeist, not a new term,

but it's like, I don't know, I feel for like,

really in the last 10 years we've talked about monogamy

and how it's actually quite absurd.

Quite ridiculous, really.

Just pick one person and be like,

I'll just guess I'll just tolerate you

and only you for the rest of life.

We're animals, you and me, baby.

None of them, I got none of them to say.

What are your thoughts on monogamish?

I'm very happy with it.

I told Shadda the other day if she left me or if she died,

that wasn't a threat.

It was just like, if something happened.

A hypothetical.

I said, I don't think I'd ever meet anybody else again,

at least it was very easy and they came to me.

God, you're going to be a grumpy old man

in a cabin in the woods with a shotgun one day, eh?

He would be, he's going to let it all go.

Yeah.

2024, baby.

Shoot.

Up in lights.

Oh my God.

That's when I'm hoping to make the transition.

Right, to grumpy old cabin man.

Can we come visit or not?

We're out.

No, he'll shoot at us.

He'll shoot at you.

He'll shoot at us.

He'll shoot at us because he's gone crazy

with the conspiracy theories.

No, no conspiracy theories.

Well, you're free.

No, you're isolated.

Isolation leads to this.

No, but I'm not going to buy into that.

I'm going to be more stubborn than ever.

They drove me to this.

You wouldn't want to meet someone else.

I just don't know if I could be bothered.

A lot of admin.

I get they bothered, though.

So much admin.

Yeah, right.

Because I got Baldur's Gate,

I got Baldur's Gate 3 on the go at the moment.

I've clocked up 60 plus game hours on that.

Spider-Man 2 comes out soon.

That's going to have Spider-Man.

That's going to have Miles Morales.

That's going to have Venom.

There's too many video games to play

and too many TV to watch.

And some of them are going to be jibber-jabbering.

You don't want any,

what about a little hot shagging on the side?

Nah.

I don't know.

Okay.

Well, Monogamish, a Monogamish relationship

is something in between a Monogamish relationship

and an open relationship.

Because open relationship is fully like you got.

Monogamish is like, oh my God,

you sleep with someone once.

That's a right, I guess.

Well, let's dive into this.

Like a lot of relationships will have boundaries

and rules in place.

Totally.

Because it is such an ish, Monogamish,

I want to know more about it.

So I think we should get some calls and messages in

about your Monogamish relationship setup.

So what you want to hear from people

that have been allowed a pass card?

Yeah, a pass card or are allowed to play it right.

Yeah, like you're in there.

And non-traditional, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

I want to know your setup

and like what it's like and how it works

or did it fail or...

Or like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith,

you broke up.

But you're still married and you're still a family.

And then six years later, you smashed some dude

in the mouth and pretty much destroy your career.

Yeah.

For a woman that you separated from

how many years before.

Seven years before.

Okay, well, are you in a Monogamish relationship?

I'll 800-dolls-a-den.

We want to take your calls now.

You can text through 9-6-9-6.

I'm just curious to know the setup, how it works,

what defines your Monogamish relationship.

This is so intriguing to me.

It's like I'm doing my own personal research.

Aaron, are you listening?

We're talking about Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith,

the news this morning.

They haven't even been together

for the last six or seven years.

No, but it kind of sounds like they're still like,

might hook up, but they're still married for seven years,

but they're not together

and they're allowed to see other people.

And then the term Monogamish has been coming up

all over the internet recently.

I want to know if you're in a Monogamish

interesting setup in your relationship, how it works.

Byron, good morning.

Morning, Tim.

Good morning, you are in a Monogamish relationship.

Yeah, kind of, something like that, yeah.

Yeah, what's the setup?

So me and my partner have known each other

for about eight years now.

Yep.

Best friends, literally inseparable from the start,

but only things were both gay,

so we were not really compatible.

But we lived together.

Oh wait, is your best friend, is she a woman?

Yes.

Ah, you're not compatible if you're gay, that doesn't work.

Oh yeah, women, ooh.

Yeah, exactly.

So you call her your partner?

I do.

You're gay, she's a woman, she's gay, you're a man.

And we have a baby coming.

Oh, wow, okay.

Can I?

Wait, so you're like,

are you more like husband and wife or best friends?

That's the kind of line we're like in between,

it's literally like if I have a work to do,

she comes as my partner.

The people I work with know her as my partner.

But everyone also knows we're gay.

And it's just when it comes to a sexual partner,

we smash outside the circle.

I was gonna say something like she's allowed,

she has female lovers, you have male lovers,

but you are together in this monogamous relationship.

Yeah, and we are pretty much married.

I mean, emotionally, we are bonded together.

I love this.

I love this so much.

I did too, that's so cool.

I love this so much.

Does anyone find it weird?

Everyone.

Everyone was, especially when they, sorry.

No, I'm just gonna say your kid's gonna grow up

with two loving parents that love each other very much

and are also very fulfilled.

Yeah, exactly.

They're never gonna have to deal with a divorce

or any of those crazy wild things that hit people go through.

Yeah, I love this.

Byron, I love this so much.

I do, I love this, thanks Byron.

I've never known of a single guy,

a gay guy having a terribly messy emotional breakup.

Oh yeah, no, no, they're always so criminal.

Yeah, they're always so level-headed about it all.

Incredible.

Byron, thank you for sharing.

So many texts and calls, we'll get to those next.

It's just so interesting to me.

Ask him this morning,

what is your monogamous relationship?

Yeah, I'm so fascinated by Byron who called up.

Gay man and gay woman.

Relationship with a gay woman.

Yes.

Souls connected, having a baby.

Sexually nothing, but having a baby.

Anonymous, what's your monogamous setup?

Oh, it's quite funny.

When I first heard you guys talking about this,

I was like, I've never heard that term before, so.

But my relationship does describe that.

Okay.

So I'm by, and so my partner-

Congratulations.

I don't know if you did,

this is a good answer.

Best of both worlds, no, no, congratulations in order.

Thank you.

Well done.

Well done, yeah.

Well done.

And my partner has said that I am allowed to go

and sleep with women if I feel like it.

The only thing I've seen is that I have

been completely transparent.

I will again, pause for applause.

You're excited and born.

No, no, no, no, I'm just saying, this is a win.

You are into everything.

You've got a partner who's just giving you the thumbs up.

And so he said to you that you had to be

transparent about it though.

Yes.

So like if I feel with somebody that I saw in town

or somebody that I had been talking to,

then I just had to tell him everything.

All right, right, okay.

Yeah.

And he's not there.

Does he get to take a lover?

Not on his own.

That's not something that he wants to do,

but we also have a joint Tinder account.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

So you could, oh my God, this is great.

This is fantastic.

But I get it, like, because you'd go,

oh, the rules apply, the rules are different for you

than for him, but he's not interested in getting

something outside of what he can get from you.

Whereas you are interested in maintaining

a sexual relationship with women, so why not?

Yeah, exactly.

Always great to have the best of both worlds.

What you're doing is you're having your cake

and you're eating it, too.

And you're absolutely eating it, too.

It's good for you.

Incredible.

Anonymous, thank you for sharing.

So many messages in.

Some people are allowed to sleep around,

but the other person's not.

So getting a bit of that.

My wife and I are talking about her taking another lover.

Reads a text.

This is not my own personal story.

My wife and I are talking about her taking another lover.

She's semi-king because she likes a guy.

I do worry she'll fall for him and leave me,

but also she won't let me take another lover.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But that's not how it works.

That's not how it works.

Yeah.

No, what's good for the goose is good for the agandar.

Yeah.

You've got to leverage just for yourself as well.

Even if it's for a PlayStation or, I don't know, a holiday

or a new car.

Yeah, dude, pass five.

Yeah.

Motorcycle.

You get a motorcycle, I get a bit of a ladycycle.

Although we do know someone that's happened to her,

and then they didn't, yeah, they didn't get anything.

They didn't get anything.

Even the motorcycle.

They sell the motorcycle.

Yeah.

Divorce because it was technically a joint asset.

Yeah, she fell in love with a woman.

Splitting up a lover.

Yeah.

Splitting a lover, you know, that's a person.

You can't just take them to divorce court and get half each.

Or cash equivalent.

I am very open people on the text machine.

Someone said, do some research into the animal world

where there is social versus sexual monogamy.

OK, I'm not going to, but I'll take care of it.

It sounds hard.

They could have summed that up for us.

Oh, research it when David Attenborough gives me

an hour-long special and $10.80.

I don't know if I want David Attenborough being a horny.

$5.00, OK.

He wouldn't be a horny.

Yeah, but he'll have to talk about it.

He'll talk about it.

He'll do it in a very professional manner.

Can you read the one that's second from the top?

So I don't think monogamish was that one.

Yeah.

So I don't think monogamish was what my ex was talking about

all the time, and here I was just thinking

he was a dirty cheat with a lisp.

Monogamish.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

That's good.

Good from them.

Ah.

Good from them.

Yeah.

Lost in translation.

It's just making you...

Monogamish is very different to cheating.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, there's got to be an arena.

It's all about communication, isn't it?

This is what our friend Morgan, the sexologist, would say.

Yes, she would.

Communication.

It's all about being open and transparent.

And you can basically have whatever you want

if it works for both parties.

Oh, gosh.

Things to think about, huh?

You're quite excited, actually.

I'm going to say you.

Things to think about.

Things to take into consideration.

I just feel like the last half an hour has been an attack

on my Christian values.

God, how are you going to go home and explain this to your kids?

My deep, deep seed of Christian values.

I know.

I apologize.

Apologies to our Christian listeners.

I don't apologize to us.

But you'll go home and watch those documentaries

on the internet about same-sex couples.

Well, I've got to copy the URLs to send it to my group

to have them taken down.

I've got to find every single filthy, smut-filled URL

on the internet.

And I copy it, and I put it in an email,

and I send it to my church leader, who replies saying,

thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you for doing this with the Lord.

We'll do what we can from here.

Oh, another one in the bag.

It's a Versace bag as well.

If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review,

and be sure to tell your mates.

You don't sound sincere there, Vaughn.

I'm just reading what's written here.

ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

Nut Shortage

Baby Names for 2050

Silly Little Poll!

Hayley Showering at the Theatre

Girl Math!

Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!

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