ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th September 2023

NZME NZME 9/10/23 - Episode Page - 1h 18m - PDF Transcript

the ZM podcast network. The Flesh Fawn and Haley big pod. Treat yourself to

Mccaffay coffee with my Maccas rewards. Good morning. Welcome to the show Fletch

Fawn and Haley three minutes past six. Hello. No. The Taylor tickets are gone

guys. No more. They're all gone. No more. Today though. What we're on the Instagram.

Wow. Yeah. Okay. On the Instagram. When's that one done? When's that one done and

dusted? Oh look now. I'm going to cut it off. I've been I've been told to look at

this. Huh? Registry doesn't say when it's going. That doesn't say when it's

finishing. Does it draw on Friday the 15th of September? I apologize. It does. It

does say doesn't it? You got a ZM online. You guys you've got time on Instagram. You've

got time there to register. But today on the show we're going to start the draw the

draws that are happening for the flights. Yeah. Thanks to New Zealand's

Gravesite. So for those winners that did win Taylor Swift tickets could be calling

you back from today. That'd be pretty sweet. I reckon. But we do have cash

replacing our Taylor Swift tickets for the next few weeks. ZM's $25,000 cash

catch up. So we're going to do it at the same times at eight o'clock midday and

four. So make sure you're listening at eight for the activator. Loads of cash to

give away. Wouldn't it be nice? It'd be bloody nice. It'd be lovely. Now I highly

broadcasting from New Plymouth this morning. My hometown. I'm in the

beautiful Naki. Oh my God. You've had the whole weekend there for the seven days

tour. I have. I had a day off yesterday. I had absolute, you know, huge lofty

plans but I polished off the the the best end of a bottle of vodka the night

before. So they sort of went out the window. But I did do the coastal walkway

and I'm going to tell you what. Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely. Stunning. It's beautiful.

So you you didn't you plummet on Saturday night and Sunday you where are you going

today? Today after the show, we're off to Palmy North. Okay. So that was just another

that was your option as to like go and spend the Sunday in Palmerston North

on your plummet. Jeez, that's rocking a hard place in it. That's that's bloody man.

It was a difficult time pan and fire. I'm just looking at the the Apple Watch. My

friends on Apple Watch. You did the coastal walkway but didn't close your rings.

I didn't wear my watch. Why are you ring shaming her? I'm not saying any. Don't you ring

shame her. I'm sorry for shaving your ring. I know. Look, I didn't wear my watch

yesterday because I didn't I didn't charge it. So it was dead. Are you getting

my ring updates? I'm smashing rings lately. I know Haley's getting the ring

updates. I don't know if we've no rings. Have we touched rings? We haven't

synced our rings. I've tried so many times to touch your ring. I don't know why

but it won't let us. It won't let us ring touch. There's something something wrong.

I'm touching both of your rings. I know you're touching my ring. Yeah. And I'm

really pushing my ring on you. Good. So you forgot your charger for your Apple

Watch and for the honor. You forgot a few charges. Oh, I'm like, I'm absolutely

I would 100% have asked reception if they had a spare charger for for the stop.

I didn't have one. I didn't have any charges left behind for for an iPhone.

Are they like a USB-C? Can't you say it's for a Samsung? They're specific. Oh,

okay. They get you. They get you with the charges done. The top six is on the

way. I'm going to add you to my ring again on it because I try to add you 230

days ago home. Yeah. And now I've tried to do it again. But I don't know. Is it

your Gmail or your email? No, except I've accepted you. Now we can be friends. Are

you guys touching rings? We're touching rings now. Yeah. Oh, good for you. Okay.

Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah. A charity football game. A win

delivered a yellow card. A player said, uh-uh, and pulled his own card out of his

pocket. It was an Uno reverse card. Now that's cute. This was like a chat. This

was re this was like set up though, right? That was a charity. Yeah, of

course. Very funny though. Give us good stuff. So, uh, I've got the top six

real life situations where you could play a reverse card. Love this. Next on the

show is something really gross out of Kmart. Now, look, I love Kmart. I don't

want to drag them in the mud here, but this is manky.

Now this is a story out of a Kmart in Australia. Because I use the lunch. I

don't think this would happen here. No, we didn't have higher standards. We're

classier people, you know? I don't know, man. In some ways, yes, in other

ways, absolutely not. Yeah. Um, now customers shared on, um, line that

they'd gone into Kmart and there was a discount rack and they found a pair of

pajama pants that they've described as disgusting because they had a huge brownish

reddy brown crotch stain on them. And it's not like someone tried them on and

left to stain and then put them back on the rack. Kmart had actually labeled them

with one of those yellow discount cards from six dollars down to three dollars,

50% off. Oh, okay. And marked as the reason for the discount big stain on

front switch. And everyone was like, hang on. That's definitely not, you know,

like sometimes you get those discounted things and it's like a rip and seam or

because this would have been something returned by a customer, right? This this

had all the hallmarks of a return because you know, they always check this. A lot

of stores check the return stuff on the shelves and they'll put a sticker. They'll

be like reason for return little fault here or crack here and they'll, you know,

hope that someone buys it for like 50% off. But this is literally looks like

someone has had a leaky anus into these pants. And then when they shoot it online,

everyone was like, Hey Kmart, do you really need that three dollars or do you reckon those

could have gone in the bin? In the bin. Like a burn. Also, who was returning those? Oh,

there's something wrong with these. Like that or that or like it was coming from the factory

and it had a stain on it. You know, like, it's not a bodily fluid, but no one knows. Like,

they're not going to check. They're in the bin now. But like, no one knows what the stain is.

It could have been some, you know, factory oil or some crap. I don't know. But it is,

it just looks yuck. And it's so funny that they've just still gone. Like some employee has gone,

well, we'll just discount it. Yeah, who's buying that? It's a six dollar pair of pajama pants

warranted that. But you hear about clothing companies that find like dropped stitch or a

little thing and they're like, we've got to burn that that can't even be sold a second or they

yeah, they cut it up and put it in the bin because they don't want anyone having it. Yeah.

Anyone wearing it? I know. Well, Kmart responded. There was a spokesperson who said,

we're looking into how this took place because it shouldn't have been made for sale regardless

of any discounts. Yeah. So I need a final reading on what the stain was as part of this

Kmart investigation. It doesn't go from the picture. It definitely looks, you don't think it's bodily?

Dude, I think it's bodily. It's bodily. It's in the crotch. Yeah. It's it's either yeah, it's

it's in the crotch. It's bodily. Let's just leave it at that. It's staying on the front center.

People are eating breakfast. Let's leave it at that. Yeah, I beg your pardon.

You're saying it's bodily. It's bodily.

Last night on the Sunday program, there was a news article story about Gen Z. Yep.

And what they like to have in the workplace. Oh, yeah. We've got one, haven't we?

Then we've got more than one. No, she's an elder. No, she's. No, she's she's she cast.

Kyle, when are you a Gen Z? And I thought you were an are you an elder Gen Z?

I think I'm the like Zelenio law. Whatever's in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I'm in the

moment. I'm a Casper as well. I kind of wrote. No, I am. No, I definitely am. So you're a Zenio.

I'm a Zenio. You're a sub. You're a sub.

What? A sub. You're a sub. You're a sub. Yeah. Good for you. It's good to know.

You'd be dominated. Like I'm a bit of the both. Yeah. Yeah. Gen X and then I'm into the millennials.

This when this was on last night, Indy, my 11 year old daughter was like, what am I?

So I looked it up and I said, well, actually, you are like the last of Gen Z.

Gen Z from 1995 to 2012. That seems like too big a window. She's going to feel like an alpha.

Well, that's what I see. I think you've definitely got alpha energy.

That window is way too big. Way too big. Yeah. Way too big. It's yeah. So this documentary last

night, this news article. What it was like to have Gen Z's working for you. Right. In the workplace.

There was a lady who said she fits into Generation X. Because they all say it's horrible as well.

Yeah. Because God, it's awful. That's awful, isn't it? Like, oh, what? Yeah. Well, what she basically

described was people paid to do a job who were just doing the job and then going home. And she's

like, back in my day, you know, we did all this extra stuff. And she was the lady was like, did

it get you anywhere? And she was like, no, no. Basically all I boiled down to was they're just

not putting up with the bullshit that previous generations have. And then previous generations

get shitty because they're not. They didn't work as hard. Yeah. But we did all this extra stuff.

Did it help? We suffered. Did you get paid for it? No. I'm not going to do that.

But this is just the way it is. But that was a basic breakdown of it. But then this isn't

nearly as serious. It's just basically you can spot Gen Z because they are more likely to be wearing

their sunglasses further down their nose. Is this a thing? Yeah, absolutely.

What, like you're peering over your glasses because they're steamy? Like you're an old man

who can't read the text on his phone? No, it's not that far down. It's just a little bit further

down so you don't look like a bug with them all the way. But sunglasses are supposed to protect.

Don't call me a bug. They're supposed to protect the eye from the sun. Yeah, they're still in the

line of sight, but they're just not pushed all the way back flat against you. You've

got too much frame in your peripheral. I've got some sunnies on. Is that it? Like that.

That's too far. My retinas are getting burnt. Yeah, I think that's too far. Push them up. No,

you've got to go half. That's why they're brilliant. They're nearly covering my mouth.

Like that. No, a little bit further up, I'd say. But then Gen Z does. That's on my face. No,

but that, no, you're too far. Halfway. Gen Z. Oh my god. I hate you, Gen Z. You're so stupid.

I literally, it's not going to sit naturally, is it? No, it's not. It's pinching my snout. Now

I've got more of a nasally, that's why they sound like this. And those dudes are getting pinched.

Those pit viper glasses. You know, they have our back in UST with a mullet and a bourbon.

They are always like snug on the face. So is this not wrap around? Is this not men? This is just

Gen Z woman. I don't know. I'm not, I'm not doing it. I just, I kind of like it. I like that

everyone's getting wound up at them. Nope. I'm going to pour it. I'm going to bar of it. The top six

is next. Yeah, the top six real life scenarios to play a reverse Uno card in.

Is the top six? Hello there. A charity football game took place at the weekend and a football

player played a reverse card, an Uno reverse card from his own pocket when given a yellow card.

It was very funny. That's good stuff. It was definitely set up. Oh, 100%. And it was a charity

football match. Yeah. But it was very, very well done. Yeah, I like that. Funny stuff. But what

if it worked? What if you could play an Uno reverse card in real life and everyday life? Yeah.

So what, it would just undo something? Well, I mean, yeah, it would undo it or put it back on

them or I mean, however you want to interpret it, it's a magical card. Yeah. I know I need to just

know the logistics of how I'm using this card. Well, there's absolutely no continuity between

the six you're about to hear. Number six on the list. The top six signs to player of Uno reverse

card in real life is during tax season. The IRD sends a little, a little message. Oh yeah, I did.

Check your my IR. Oh, you owe me $1,500. Actually, play the reverse card, you owe me $1,500. I don't

know if I would have done that last week because I finally did my tax and late, late. Yes, me too.

I don't know because I did it and I owed them 11 cents and then I had to set up an automatic

debit authority. Well, for one cent a month for the least 11 cents. No, I did all 11 cents at once.

I know just, yeah. Generosity. Generous. So do you reckon they'll ping me interest on 11 cents?

I hope so. Hardly seems worth anyone's time. It's crippling. It's going to cripple you. It's

going to absolutely financially cripple you. Write it off. Number five on the list of the

top six times to play a Uno reverse card in real life. When your mum says there's no pudding,

reverse card. Now there's pudding. There's pudding, mum. Make it happen. Oh, no, no, no,

no, she's going to make it happen. Lovely bit of pud. Number four on the list of the top six

times to play a Uno reverse card in real life. When you need good weather, but it's a terrible

weather day. Reverse. Reverse card. Now it's not terrible weather. God, we're getting that.

Is it Ar Nino, La Ni, El Nino? El Nino. La Nino. We're getting the hot one within a week's.

Within two weeks, they say we're going to be hot and drought and complaining about that instead.

And it could be one of the hottest in a long time. I was talking to a lady over the fence.

And I said, I honestly think we're, me personally, our little farmland is so wet. Yeah, we could

probably have a dry summer and you probably wouldn't, you know, I feel like we can handle it. But I

know also that's only my situation. There's some people who didn't get as, as much rain as Auckland's

had. So at least other people have other experiences in our own purely selfishly want some beach time.

So that's absolutely fine. You're entitled to it after last summer. You're entitled to it. Yes.

And we can find some water somewhere. Well, a couple of weeks. It's here.

We'll see. Number three on the list of the top six times to plan in a reverse card in real life.

When your rent or mortgagery payments are due. Oh yeah. And then you just reverse it and then

they are due. They owe you money. Oh yeah. Great idea. It's a forward. Every month they owe you money.

Only if you've got a reverse card in your hand. Yeah. Yeah. But if you've got like a

multicolored wildcard or whatever it's called, who knows what's going to happen. Yeah. Number two

on the list of the top six times to plan in a reverse card in real life. When your alarm

goes off, but you want more sleep. Oh, that'd be nice. Reverse back through the night. But then

you've got to have another reverse to turn the tide clock back around to go forward again.

Otherwise you're just avoiding the inevitable dark. Yeah. You're just going to get younger and

younger. Also two weeks until daylight savings. Yeah. How good is that? Well, no, it's this is

the not good one for the alarms because we're going to get up an hour earlier. Still, we love the

extra light at the end of the day. Yeah, because people who like to go to bed early can't go to

bed early because it's like, I don't know why you are so excited for this part of the savings.

Blackout curtains. I don't care. Oh, do you? Yeah. And you already go to bed at 4.30. So that

I go to bed at 8. And number one on the list of the top six times plan earn a reverse card in

real life. When your doctor tells you you've put on a bit of weight since you were last there,

reverse card now they've put on the weight. Yeah. Take that. Wow. Suck it. Take that. I mean,

you could have just lost the weight in the reverse card. But no, the way they said that,

they deserve to wear the weight because that's how the reverse card works. That is today's top six.

There is some research that's been done about readers, people who like to read books.

Lots of stats out of it. But I like this one, which is that the average person,

the average person takes 29 pages to really get into a book. You know, sometimes when you're

like, I'm going to read a book and you're like a bit of a punish for a while. Yeah. Well, you've

got to read the book. The person who wrote the book has a very different way of structuring

sentences and paragraphs and it takes you a while to get into their way of doing it. Tune in. Yeah.

Yeah, totally. 29 pages. So what I did is I looked up the PDF of my favorite book of all time.

What's your favorite book of all time? It's a book called World Without End by Ken Fullet.

Oh, we've got a book club on our hands. We've got a book club. World Without End.

World Without End. It's actually, it's part of a series, but it was the second in the series.

And now there's a few books surrounding it. It's a Hunger Games book.

No, absolutely not. I love the Hunger Games books.

Not for me. So I opened up the PDF and they give you like a preview. I think they've got 114 pages

that you can read. And I went to page 29 to see what was happening. I tell you what just happened

and spoiler alert. Okay. Spoiler alert. Yeah. But Merlin, who is our hero,

he just watched a knight be murdered in the bush. And I gotta say, I'm already hooked.

Murdered a couple of nights in the bush at my time. What kind of book is this? Is your favorite

book of all time? It's like medieval. Did you like the television adaption?

Um, I did. But you know, like, because I've loved this book so much, I've read it so many times,

the characters didn't look like how I'd imagine them. I hate when that happens.

When there's your favorite book. You've established it. Yeah.

I've never read it. I don't think I've ever read one book more than once.

Really? I would say my like top three books I've read multiple times.

No, but you know what happens? I get the idea. I get the just.

Literally just during those songs, I was like, Oh, what I'll do is I'll open up my book and see

what's happening on page 29. And did you notice I didn't talk to you for about six minutes? Yeah.

I was just started reading the book. So for those people that listen to audio box, which is me,

because I'm done with Kendall now and reading books, I'll just listen because it's like a podcast.

It's like a really long podcast. What would the minute equivalent be to get into an audio book?

Oh, I don't know. How about 29 pages? Would that almost be 20 minutes? 29 minutes, a minute of page?

Nah, be less like 15. How about your pages? How much? Well, I always do like...

Well, Ken Fuller writes quite dense. I do one point, one times,

four, three. Who do you? Yeah, because you get through it faster.

Yeah, I listen to podcasts at one point too. Every reader is different. You've got to listen

and kind of give it a bit of an experiment for how fast you're going to listen to the audio book.

No, I can't do it, especially if it's read by an American. Do you know what I mean?

I like a British voice, not like Merthyn. Merthyn sprang out of the bush.

That's because... But you could hear an American

accent read a story about the Wild West or the pioneering West.

Yeah, maybe. Sam Elliott. Yeah, Sam Elliott rules. Well, 29 pages to get into a book.

And may I recommend Ken Fuller's World Without End. It's got everything. It's got history.

It's got wars. It's got sex. It's got nights. It's got cathedrals. Bridges.

If the people that know the Kingsbridge series will laugh because the bridge is very integral.

I mean, you don't know. Well, so it's got... It's integral.

He's Well-ish, isn't he? Ken. He's Well-ish. He is Well-ish. Well-ish. From Well-ish.

Play.

Just before silly little poll, I've actually just noticed on the text machine,

people coming in hot about the Ken Follett book. Have they now? Pillars of the Earth is the best one.

No. That's what everybody's saying. No, World Without End is the sequel. Save that for your book club.

The book club. Silly little poll today at a complete opposite end, although Ken does dabble in sex.

What would you want a one night stand to do? Option A, stay the night. Option B, leave ASAP.

Leave ASAP, 64%. Stay the night, 36%. More people would like you to skedaddle.

Whereas you just ended up staying, didn't you, Hailey? Yeah, well, I had a cold flat.

That's... Oh, yeah. If you're hooking up with someone who's got insulation and thermal curtains.

Oh, stay. Yeah, 100%. Let's get into some feedback. Lauren says,

depends on the person in the circumstance. Great shag and a nice person gets to stay

rubbish shag or any situation that doesn't feel completely comfortable, then GTFO.

Kate says, if my one night stand has asked me to leave, I wouldn't

now have three kids, a dog and a husband. So I'm kind of glad I stayed.

Yeah. So there you go. Didn't get Kate out and now they're married.

Sam says, very literally can't sleep in a shared bed. Have her bed home while the guy was asleep

multiple times. My unread messages are littered with, wait, where did you go?

Sam.

It's a one night stand at a one night lie down.

What's that saying? Don't stay because that involves a lie down. Yeah.

Johnny says, I had to lie about going on a hike to get them to leave. By the time I'd gotten

dressed, like I was actually going to do a hike, I probably should have just gone and done a hike.

What, did they get their tramping boots on? Yeah, sounds like they got all

get up. You got to get out of here, buddy. Brianna says, depends on the person. Normally,

I love a snuggle, but I had to do a big dramatic cry to try to get rid of a guy once. I even

squeezed out some tears. It didn't work though, as the guy refused to leave and the poor dude was

doing everything he could to try to console me because he thought I was sad. Oh my God.

That sounds like a nice. Just be honest. Just be honest. Just say leave.

Situations is like a nightmare. Yeah. You're a nightmare. Jessica, from experience,

my ex was meant to be a one night stand. Should have kept it that way. I had another in Fiji

and leaving ASAP is better. Means no ties, etc. Yeah. Stephanie says, it's tacky to leave ASAP.

Yeah, I mean, hang around for a quick chat. 10 minutes. Give it a little snuggle afterwards.

Maybe try to find out their name.

If you've forgotten, that's the worst, but you need them to leave because you're like,

they're going to find out. Yeah, you're going to search around their room looking for like

certificates or something. I've opened a phone or two of my time.

Bridget says, we ain't having a slumber party here, sweetie. Please move on. Yeah, good stuff.

Bridget. That's it. That's it. That's a little poll.

Australian couple have had a number plate. You distracted me with 10 seconds to go before

the song ended. You said, who are the warriors playing? When are they playing? And so I was

like immediately like up the was not the greatest game at the weekend. Not the whole weekend,

we're hoping for. The all blanks, the was. We've lost the cricket this morning. I know,

but we won the cricket on Saturday morning. No, we won the cricket on Saturday morning.

Wasn't a great sport. The warriors are playing Saturday, the 16th of September,

6 0 5 p.m. Okay. So that's New Zealand time. So it's not that super late game.

And that's happening this Saturday. Where do I get my tickets? Anyway, we're here to talk

about an Australian couple who over 15 years ago, Chris, Christine, Christina, but only

referred to as Chris, bought her husband, Steve, a personalized plate for his business,

which is, which is concrete grinding. Offers a variety of grind based services,

concrete grinding, precision grinding. Stump grinding. No, I don't think he goes into stump

grinding. Right. But, you know, bumping and grinding. Wait, what is concrete grinding?

What do you do? Well, concrete grinding was in if you want like a polished concrete.

Oh, but that's polishing, isn't it? All right, you got to grind it. You got to grind it before

you polish it. Keep up, Fletch. So he's got a van. He drives around and she got in the number plates

ages ago, 15 years ago. G R I N D R grinder without air on the end. Now, if there wasn't enough letters,

yeah, yeah, six, right? So if you're not familiar, that is gay dating app grinder news to me.

Well, how does this app work? Much like Tinder, except purely penis driven. I mean,

you got to plug your penis in to activate it, right? And then it's all go.

You've got a couple of details there, right? What year literal smorgasbord of penises 15 years ago.

That's what I was saying. Grinder was March 2009. So that's 14 years ago.

So they had it before the app. They had it just for the app. Okay, but to promote his grinding

services. Yeah, right now is huge now. Like everyone, whether you're homosexual or not,

knows what the app is. It's like it's in pop culture, right? Yeah, straight people know.

Even even straight guys with girlfriends know what it is.

Yeah, plenty of those on there. I think they need to reevaluate straightness.

They're straightness. Yeah, fair enough. It's fine if you're not. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's absolutely fine. You can be both. You can be both. You can be both. You can be both. It's a

scale, isn't it? Anything. You can be whatever you want on. Yep. It's up to you. It's 2023.

So Steve's been driving around with Grinder for 15 years. And of course, as Grinder, the app

became more popular and knowing he said he's been getting more and more unusual.

So this, this was, was it the project in Australia that kind of brought this to everybody's attention

last week? So they got put up for sale and the project had an interview with them. And he was

just like, look, I had no idea. What? Even now? No, they've found out more recently. Yeah, right.

So they said, we're driving down Hoddle Street in Melbourne one afternoon when a friend of mine

is a line dancer who's gay and gorgeous, Steven. He pulled up alongside us and he was like, oh my

gosh, I didn't know who it was. But it was, it was them. And he's like, you know that that's a

gay dating app. So he's just like, Oh, well, we'll roll with it. We'll roll with it. It's pretty

funny. Get a bit of attention. But you know, they're selling the plates or surely another

concrete grinding business must buy this. So you'd buy this or just a rich homosexual.

Is there a big rich homosexual begot? Yeah, or single, single. I know. I mean, I don't have to

be. Let's see if it's already gone in New Zealand. I'm a car jam. Oh, okay. Yeah. Who's got it? So

Grindr was on a 1996 Toyota Land Cruiser.

A Cruiser. So I think that might be the same you reckon situation because it has since been

replaced with a new number plate. Oh, okay. And it looks like this Land Cruiser is now just cruising

around with a standard bog standard plate. So who's got Grindr now? Grindr may have been stolen.

You know what? The plate is stolen. Yeah, right. Okay. By gay thieves. By some rambunctious gay

thieves. A flamboyant gang of gay thieves. Yeah. Wow. So it was last seen on a 1996 Toyota Land Cruiser.

Brilliant. Wow. Brilliant. Next on the show, we have had a lot of reports of Christmas penetration.

Christmas scene all over. We are 104 days away. Another, can I just say that I was like,

how else could you spell Grindr? So it's about G-R-N-D-E-R. Yeah. That was on a 1990 Ford Courier.

He's like a ute. Yeah. And that has also been replaced. Do you reckon these are these tradies

driving around these Land Cruiser and a Ford Courier? Yeah. Someone's like, hi, sweetie. He's like,

well, I'm getting a lot of gay attention lately. Play it. Sidi and splats for Naly.

Oh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Today, 104 days, 16 hours and 41 minutes until Christmas. Not long. Well, I think we're going to

see a big jump. Yeah, we've had a lot of messages in. Yeah. We are spotting Christmas. So if you see

anything when you're out and about, you think, oh, that's a bit early. Take a pic, screenshot,

whatever, send it to us on our socials, FVHZM. Somebody messaged me over the weekend saying,

oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm seeing Christmas already. I said, I can't believe you've

dodged it this far. Yeah. It's definitely like around. You'll remember we're at about 9% last

time we looked into it. Yes. Well, now we're 104 days away from Christmas. I can tell you we're

going to have a big jump because the Christmas Wonderland store is open. Melissa said, look at this.

And it's a specific Christmas store. Yeah. Now you're getting excited because you're going to do

your very first ever Christmas tree, Hailey, this Christmas. That's right. Come hell or high water.

I said I wanted a Christmas tree because I've never had one myself. It's always been my parents or

Aaron's parents who put them up. So this year I'm going to get one. I'm going to get a little

small one, I think, to start. A bit as hell of the hell or high water. It'd be very hard to keep a

tree from bursting into flames in hell. Absolutely. Yeah. And sufficiently watered.

Yeah, bugger. Melanie said H&J Smith and Invercargill's got all the Christmas decorations out.

Trees. Santa. Those cute little elves where you can't see anything about from their nose and their

beard. Yeah. Those are cute. Those are cute. I'm going to give those a cute tick. New Zealand's

top liquor. Hold on. What's this one? Hold on. Okay. Hold on. We've been sent this way, Lucy.

Powerless New Zealand's top liquor retailers with AF Drinks founder Lisa King now opening a permanent

Ponsonby location following the success of her pop-up. New Zealand Herald's Cherie Kinnear puts

the range of alcohol-free drinks to the taste testers. The festive season kicks off. They're

saying the festive season's kicked off. No, we haven't done Halloween yet. I don't think it's

official kickoff. No. I don't think it's official kickoff. It's on the horizon. But let's pump the

brakes on this kickoff. Yeah. Sam sent us this from the UK. Is it too soon to say the C word?

Because Christmas is coming. Hart, a 24-hour television channel, will be playing nothing

but festive films from September 7th, which was the end of last week. So they've launched

their All Christmas TV channel. Too soon. No. This one's a massive one. Okay. This one's a

massive one. Sonya has sent in that it is time to book a visit with Santa at Smith & Coeys in

Auckland. This is your premium Santa. Yeah, that's posh Santa. Rich people's Santa. Posh posh posh.

And Daniel said Christmas at Bunnings. It feels like Fakatane alone may be lifting this to about

50% penetration. Look at all these Christmas goodies. And it's, you know, Bunnings goes hard

on Christmas. They do, yeah. The lights and the outdoor decorations and stuff. So I mean,

that is just, and keep them coming. Yeah. They've even had some more over the weekend since that's

been compiled. So with all that in mind and 104 days away from Christmas.

Mrs. Claus, my coat and hat, please. Christmas penetration is at 22% percent.

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

ZM's $25,000 cash catch-up. So listen up for the activator. Get through. It's your chance to win

cash. We'll just explain it as we go. It's easy. Yeah, I reckon. It's easy. It's so guys. It's so easy.

We're going to play it 812 and 425,000 cash to give away. No, let me tell you story about a man who

never took a sick day. He loved his workplace. I don't take sick days. You don't take sick days.

That time I got adult chicken pox. They had to take two weeks. Yeah. But if technology,

yeah, true. If technology then is like it was now, you would have been like,

drop me off a kid. I'll broadcast from home. I would have been able to because I just had the

pox. Didn't I? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah. So I took a day off because I had a sore throat. Remember?

Yeah. I think if you're sick, you'll absolutely find a day off, especially when you have to wake

up so early. Yeah, you got nothing else. Smithy over here is quiet. He takes a sick

to every year he gets a man flu. Oh, 100%. I'm going to drag myself into work for that for two

reasons. I don't feel like it. I don't want to get anybody else sick and you're entitled to sick

days. Don't put yourself in the ground early for the place you need them. Yeah, you're giving them

for a reason. You might as well use them. So a man, I just never used a sick day, worked, never took

it off. And after five years, which I'm guessing would save the company a lot of money. Yeah,

they rewarded him. Oh, that's nice. It was fantastic with the $25 fuel vouchers.

Wave them by that. That's a slap in the face. Yeah, that's a wow. That's

watchak. Wow. An absolute slap in the face. $25 petrol voucher. Yeah, probably wouldn't have

ever bothered. It's not even going to touch the sides these days. No, not these days.

Not these days. It wouldn't at all. So I got me to thinking about we could take some calls about

when the worst is where you would be told that you're going to get something. We've got you a

little something. It's on your mind. You're like, what's it going to be? I love it when someone

gets a leaving gift and it's rubbish and you can just see it on their face.

Do you remember when we, somewhere else we worked, you do the maths. Oh, when we left after all

those years and they didn't give us anything. No, no, no, I didn't care about that. But when we were

Did you get nothing? No. It was contentious. It was a contentious leaving. But not about that.

Not about somebody else left well before we left. And on the way to the leaving party,

which I was Ubering with somebody who had a work credit card. Not Ubering was before that.

We were taxiing. However we were getting there, Vaughn, it's not important details. You're aging

yourself. Shut up, Vaughn. Let me tell the story. Stop, stop. God, is he going on about taxi chats?

Gary had a taxi chat. That's what I was with. Gary, if you want to know why a company got rid

of taxi chats, blame a guy called Gary Rose, wanted these out there. That guy abused the system.

And we lost taxi chats, which were basically blank checks for taxis, kids.

Cut the round, grandad's going to tell you. And the taxi was a horse and cart. And that was nice as

well. Yeah. And you get all your friends and you just drop them all off. It was great. It's like

a shuttle. Squeezes as easy as you can in. And then just let the taxi driver fill out the

chat himself. What can go wrong? And then put somebody else's name on the chat. We were on

the way to someone's leaving party and got a call and said, can you please stop and buy them a

leaving gift? What? They had worked there for ages and no one had thought to get them a leaving

gift. What's open on like a Saturday night at 7 o'clock? Nothing. What'd you get? Bottle whiskey?

No, no, no, no. We were, because they were like, they don't drink. They didn't drink.

They weren't big drinkers. So don't get them a bottle. And then so we stopped at like the only

electronic store open and walked in and we were just like, they were like, we're actually closing.

And we're like, we're going to leave anything. They're like, oh, we've got this little portable

one speaker or portable speaker. Oh my God.

That's the gift you get. Everyone's face when they opened it. Oh my God. So good. So awkward.

So horrible stuff. So my question this morning is what was the worst gift your workplaces got you?

Like when places love a branded bit of merchandise, like here's a drink bottle

with the work's logo on it. Like at least an umbrella is practical. Yeah, don't give me a

drink bottle. Yeah, please don't give me a drink bottle. So maybe it was a leaving gift from work.

Maybe it was a work Christmas gift for all your hard work. Yeah, or maybe even just birthdays,

you know, celebrating your birthday. Maybe you won an award and works like we've got a little

something for you. God, there are some lame gifts coming through. Some of these messages,

we're talking about your worst gift. A guy didn't take a sick day for five years and you think

about the last five years. Yeah. He's gone to work every day that was asked of him. Yep. And

he got a $25 fuel voucher for his troubles. And then just literally drive you from one pump to

the next. Yeah, the perfect attendance record. And they made a big deal about it. Don't make a

big deal about that. We want to know the crappy gifts that you got from work anonymous joins us.

Anonymous. What was the crappy gift? Hi, is it me? Yes. Yes, I'm a teacher, by the way.

We got $15 each from the board for saying thank you for working so hard over COVID.

$15. They didn't even round it to a 20. No, we could go out for lunch with that $15 if we wanted

to. Oh my God. Where was that a cash $15 and it just get added to your wages?

Oh, no, it was cash. Okay.

That's not even going to get an entree though, is it, for large? It's so embarrassing having to get

out a $5, a $5 note from them. They had to go to the dairy and be like, can I get it, split this?

Yeah. Yeah, that was, yeah. They may as well have just given us nothing really.

Yeah, just don't bother. I'd just rather they don't bother. It's less insulting.

Thank you for how hard it was for teachers during lockdown. You know, how else are we going to do it?

$15. Yeah, maybe an extra day or two off would be nice.

Yeah, no, next to day. Oh, well, you bloody teachers don't hardly work as...

No, I don't think so. Hey, old bloody suburb, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Not at all. Thank you for the messages in. Someone said, I want to know what you think,

what's worse, no gift or shit gift? I'd go, no gift. Shit gift's worse. I'd rather have no gift.

Same. I'd rather have no gift. The best ones we're getting out of the people who are working

for companies that are reporting like massive profits. Oh, yes. Somebody said, I left a workplace

after being there for six years and two weeks before I was due to leave, they announced a massive

profit. So I was like, here we go. This is going to be good stuff. I'm getting a coffee machine.

Yeah. They gave me a clock and then I... You don't give a clock anymore.

No one wants a clock. A clock that I found on the Kmart website for $19.

Oh, that's no... Someone else said, I left a job after 19 years, got a $120 voucher,

you might be thinking that's not too bad, but that's $6.37 a year despite the company

announcing a $115 million profit in six months. Okay, yeah, that hurts.

You're really putting their workers first. Yeah. I won an emerging leader award at work.

And I was like, well, goodness me, emerging leader, they'll be nurturing me. I am the future

and the prize was a 12 month mentorship from the CEO. Never heard from her once,

which is better. Better. That's better. That's better. A stink prize, but at least you didn't

have to go through with it. Yeah. That's so lame though. Somebody said, for Christmas one year,

they wrapped up a company branded tote bags and gave one to each employee.

Oh, do we even wrap them? I worked at a cafe for three and a half years. On my last day,

I got 10 avocados as a leaving gift and I feel like they just got the 10 avocados from the

pile of avocados at the back. I feel like they did too. Yeah. I worked at a local grocery store

over COVID, involved a lot of the challenges and doing things differently, as you know,

even when it's looked at other customers. Yeah. And the Christmas gift we got was a head of lettuce.

Oh, for God's sake. Head of lettuce. What? Head of lettuce. Those can be quite expensive now,

by the way. No, no, no, but that was a Christmas. So that's peak lettuce season.

You're getting a head of lettuce for 99 cents. I love the person to message in saying,

I used to work for a pharmaceutical company. They used to package up hundreds of bottles

of expired products as a thank you. Just like old stuff. Put that on your skin.

Oh, but what? Is it expired or is it just sort of like?

Yeah, skin products. Donkey. Products expire. I'd use it. I'd use expired skin products.

No, no, no, no. Look at this skin. Look at this leathery old purse. Look at this crocodile face.

We've spent four weeks giving away tickets to Taylor Swift's sold out

era show in Sydney. Mandy was one of our winners. Mandy.

Mandy is on the phone with us. Mandy, you had won the tickets for your daughter.

Yes, I did. My beautiful Scarlett. You are my wife's favorite winner.

She just said that was my favorite one of the lady that was winning it for a 10-inch door.

Is that because Shade's mom wouldn't have done that for it?

Probably not. Oh, my God. That is just so sweet. I feel like emotional.

What's it been like since winning the tickets? Can you believe it?

Um, no, no, not even a tiny bit. I'm not going to lie. I've screened shots.

The, um, any text messages I've got and any email is just in case somebody took them away.

Have you used the tickets as a bargaining chip with your daughter?

Like, you're like, how those dishes need doing?

Um, I'm not going to lie. Maybe one time.

Do you want to go to Sydney or not?

Mandy, we're calling you today because we've got some great news.

Thanks to In New Zealand's Grab a Seat, we've got flights for you.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God. I love you. That's so great.

Yeah. Well, now it's the whole package. It's a way bigger bargaining chip.

You'll be going to be able to get the kid to do anything you want.

Cleaning, weekly, daily, dishes, massages, foot rubs.

How old's your teenager, Mandy?

She's coming out of Ben and, uh, Ben and Dick.

I'll be back on my own teenage years.

Well, Mandy, congratulations. All thanks to In New Zealand's Grab a Seat, Grab Life by the Seat.

You can check out grabaseat.co.nz for amazing deals on flights now.

Grab a Seat are going to hook you and your daughter up with some flights to Taylor Swift.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

No worries. You're so welcome.

We've got a draw's happening all week. We've got a bunch of flights to give away,

so make some more people's day. But next on the show, we're going to kick off

the $25,000 cash catch up. We're going to do this.

When we did the Taylor Swift songs, $812 and $4 every day until the $25,000 is gone.

Can we just give some to Mandy? I mean, I really like, you know, just...

Mandy's got flights, Mandy's got flights.

No, I know, but I just like Mandy. Let's just give her all the $25,000.

No. Well, you think Mandy should just win everything?

Yeah. Can I put it on my contract?

No, we're going to get the good feelings every time.

Get the, yeah.

Play it. Zed Ems, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Zed Ems, $25,000 cash catch up.

We've done four weeks of Taylor Swift tickets, and now it's four weeks of cash catch up.

$25,000 is up for grabs. Vaughn, would you like to...

Well, we're treating a fine line of the infringement on Nintendo property with this,

aren't we? It sounds very Mario, but we'll do it.

It's different enough.

Now, this is very... This is pretty much beat the bomb.

Yeah, this competition.

It's a classic radio.

It's a classic radio competition with a new skin.

Hayley loves these competitions.

I love these. I bloody love it.

She's relatively new to the industry.

Now, how would you explain this works, Vaughn?

Well, Cashy is women... This is... You left us in charge of naming the promotion department,

Zed. Don't make it dumb.

We had to name him and give him a bit of a personality.

This is the character that counts up the cash amount.

He is... But Cashy is wrapped in an explosive device that the evil IRD will set off at any moment.

Because the IRD don't want you doing Cashy's.

Yeah.

Now, Cashy's running towards a grand total, but the IRD will stop him.

Now, you've got to say stop before he explodes.

Before he explodes.

And then you win all that cash.

You win the Cashy.

I would love to see producer Jared use his AI art thing to make a character...

Cashy.

That has like a bomb device on him.

Yeah.

Oh, I don't... I feel like that might go a bit wrong, guys.

Yeah.

Jared doesn't have to share his first...

He's a bit of a... He can refine it.

A bit of a hand at this. He can refine it.

He's certainly not going to be sharing his works in progress.

Kimberly, welcome to the $25,000 Cash Catch Up. Good morning.

Good morning.

Are you all on board with how this works?

Yep, I think so.

Yeah, it could be simple.

It couldn't be simple. So you yell at stop.

Forget the Cashy. Forget the AI art thing.

That was all flavoring.

That was all a little bit of pizzazz.

You say stop and whatever dollar amount you stop at, you win.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

Ready.

Go.

36.

55.

Enjoy the ride.

87.

124.

168.

213.

Wow.

299.

Stop.

Oh, 299.

That's where I would have stopped it.

That's where I would have stopped it.

So we're locking that dollar amount there.

299 locked in with Cashy.

$299, Kimberly.

Let's see how high...

Hypothetically.

Let's see what would have happened to Cashy.

18.

Someone's living on the edge.

452.

This is a weird turn to say, but I have a crush on you.

480.

Too bad.

So 482.

You did well.

I think you did really well there.

Kimberly, congratulations.

Thank you very much.

$299.

Thanks to Cashy.

Well done.

Thank you so much.

And we're going to play again at midday and for every day until we give away $25,000

with our $25,000 Cash Catch Up.

Super easy.

I knew you'd love this place.

What was that?

A selfie.

You just took a selfie.

With my new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 5,

I can snap selfies while it's folded shut

and use the best camera on the phone.

It's so small, I can put it right back in my front pocket.

Now it's in my pocket.

Now it's taking selfies.

Whoa.

And the huge cover screen lets us see our pics without opening it.

Aw, you look cute confused.

I do look cute confused.

Get your Galaxy Z Flip 5 now at the Samsung Experience Store at Roosevelt Field.

You going to tell everybody about your Miley Cyrus dream last night?

Yeah, I dream I was just hanging out with her as real casual.

And then right at the end, she's like, I'll see you later.

I was like, all right, see ya.

And then she kissed me on the mouth.

Cute.

Not like tongue or anything, but she took liberties.

She'd be a mouth kisser.

Yeah, I reckon.

She'd be a mouth kisser too.

Right, and then why were you hanging out with her?

We were just walking down the street.

It was one of those ones where she walked across the street

and she was like, hey man, I was like, hey, how are you?

Like, we knew each other.

What street was this?

It was the main street of Moronsville and her parents lived.

Her parents had just bought a house.

I thought she'd go to Moronsville.

No, I don't.

This was a dream, Hailey.

I don't know her either or nor would she kiss me on the mouth.

Oh, my dream.

But where she's like, oh, mom and dad have just bought this place up here.

I was like, oh, that's a nice spot they'd bought.

And if you're asking what they bought,

they'd bought the Cosy Club and they turned it into just a combination.

No, I don't think the dad's.

I don't think.

This is very much.

And then yeah, it's never going to happen.

No, it's never going to happen.

Yeah, and Georgia asked me more about the kiss

and I said the kiss was moist, but like still like tacky.

Like a lot of lip gloss.

Oh, okay, yeah.

You know when you kiss someone with a lot of lip gloss on

and it's kind of the little bit of a like a hard to describe.

So little string when you pull out,

when you pull away, there's a string connection.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Little dribble string.

I was not kissing an old lady.

Oh, right.

Like dribbly, then no dribbly.

All right.

Well, good for you, man.

Good.

Thanks, man.

Good dream.

Thanks, man.

Good for you.

Now there is some research.

What's a survey that was done asking people between the ages of 25 and 45,

how they feel about themselves now in relation

to things like their body shape, their hairstyle, their smile, their blah, blah,

blah, a lot of like appearance stuff, but also how they feel within themselves.

And two thirds of the respondents say they feel as awkward as they did in their teens.

Despite a lot of them claiming that they had definitely had a glow up,

you know, that they were like hotter now, better teeth,

you know, a bit more money so they can afford things, they still felt awkward.

Now, when I think of it as they did when they were teenagers,

when I think about being a teenager, it's just all awkward.

Yeah, it's supposed to be, though, because you don't know who you are.

If you peaked in your teenage years, you peaked in the wrong, you peaked in the wrong period.

Yeah, but to feel that way now, between the age of 25 and 45,

I'm like, what are you feeling awkward about?

Let's see, it's just, it is what it is.

You just accept life.

Yeah, baby.

You know, like.

Have another put.

Yeah.

Have another put.

Have another put.

Have a few more wines.

I was a hot teenager, though.

I was definitely a hot teenager, but I don't, I wouldn't go back to it because it was more

awkward and now, like, no matter if you think you're as hot or not, I'm definitely more confident.

I'm still floating that idea for a social occasion where you come dress as your 17-year-old self.

You did say that.

Yeah, like, you have to find what you're wearing at 17.

I'd have to put more holes in my face.

You check a couple of holes in your face.

I'm going to need some baggy jeans.

Yeah, you'll need some baggy jeans.

I'm going to need some baggy jeans, but I've got to be cheap because my mum was by my clothes

and she wasn't.

I mean, I'm still in cheap jeans.

Think of me wrong.

It would be a plan of date.

Yeah.

Would have been a plan of date or whatever the equivalent was before.

No, it was.

That was Halon Steins later, wasn't it?

Yeah, Halon Steins.

Halon Steins brand.

That would have been me.

Yeah.

Yeah, why, that's sad.

I think that's sad that people are still as awkward as they were as their teenage years.

You wouldn't say that you guys are, would you?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm a very awkward teenager.

Very, like, very, not anxious, but very worried that what I had wasn't what people wanted.

Well, no, that's a teenage, like, that's a general sort of teenage anxiety, isn't it?

You're like, hold on, Halon.

You are enough.

You are watching.

Well, I don't give a shit now.

Someone once legitimately asked me,

someone once legitimately asked me, how do you go to work and work with Vaughn every day?

Wow, look at that.

And I said, what do you mean?

They said, because he is so hot.

But I was like, this has got a warped taste.

And probably daddy issues.

Probably.

I feel like I have missed a trick.

I could really have cashed in on some people with daddy issues, but you know,

such as life.

But it makes me sad that someone, you said 25 to 45.

There's 45 who feels as awkward as they did when they were a teenager.

That makes me sad for them.

I hope that they stop caring.

I reckon some affirmations into the mirror.

Maybe you need to bring back your, I don't know what you're trying to do.

No, what did you used to do some quotes?

You want the motivator to come back?

Yeah, the motivator.

Motivation or quotes?

You want the motivator.

The motivator.

Vaughn Smith motivator.

It's been so long.

I can't motivate.

I can't improv motivate though.

A lot of thought goes into the motivator.

Didn't there used to be, you know, an app that would leave a quote.

A day and you just feel good about yourself.

Yeah.

Was that the one the universe would send you an email?

How did the universe do that?

It's the universe, man.

I've got an app I'm using at the moment.

I wonder if it will.

What is this app?

I can't say, but.

What?

Why can't you say?

It's like, it's private.

What have you signed up for?

You are notorious.

It's private.

But every day gives a daily motivation.

Okay.

I need a daily motivation.

Here it is.

This is a quote from Wayne Dyer.

Okay.

You cannot always control what goes on.

Wait a minute.

You can't do this without the appropriate background music.

I found some perfect.

Give me some music.

Yes.

This is a quote I'd like to read from Wayne Dyer.

You cannot always control what goes on outside,

but you can always control what goes on inside.

I don't know what happened to my music.

Just to really stop.

Oh, there we go.

Oh, you've ruined.

Excuse me.

I pay for YouTube premium and I changed windows and it stopped playing.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, sir.

Did that quote though?

No, that didn't hit me at all.

Should I read yesterday's quote?

I got one.

Okay.

Hang on.

Vaughn's on it.

Oh, no, I've got one.

Oh, I've got one for Maya Angelou.

Oh, yeah.

People love a bit of Maya Angelou.

Didn't know who she was till she died,

but then everyone is a huge fan.

Now we're obsessed.

Now this one is very on topic

for what we were just talking about.

Have we got any play in the music?

Yeah.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly,

but rarely admit the changes

it has gone through to achieve that beauty.

Thank you, Maya.

Oh, that was average.

It goes full gunk.

It's about a butterfly.

And the cocoon.

It goes full gunk.

Yeah.

Exactly.

We don't acknowledge that.

We just say, well, look at their beautiful butterfly.

It's been through a lot.

Okay.

Success is not final.

Failure is not fatal.

It is the courage to the...

Oh, no.

My stuff, man.

It's the what?

It's the what?

It is the courage to continue that counts.

Yeah.

Got to imagine if you were doing the I Have a Dream speech,

you'd be stuttering your way through that.

It wouldn't have been historical at all, would it?

No, it wouldn't have been.

Next on the show.

Also, it would have been weird for a white guy

to go over that.

Yeah.

Hey, everybody.

Welcome to the Million Man March.

My name's Vaughn.

You may have noticed I'm white,

but I've got a little something to say.

I have a dream.

And you'll all listen.

If you know what's good for you.

Pretty big dream, guys.

Listen up.

I wrote something.

Pretty big dream.

Listen up.

Pretty big dream.

Next on the show.

Now Jump Jam was a little after my time

at primary and intermediate school.

It was invented in like 1991

and then took a little while to spread around.

But for the younger people who work here,

they jumped jammed.

Georgia, you jumped jammed.

All the producers did.

All the producers jumped jammed.

All the producers.

Everybody's jumped jammed.

Yeah, we had jump rope for heart.

We had jump rope for heart.

We could have ever installed the skipping ropes.

So we didn't have any because I went to a DSR.

What's the lowest?

10.

1.

1.

Yeah.

And same with Pat at 10 spats.

Why did that?

What purpose did that?

We just used our hands.

Did you use your hands?

Yeah.

I know.

Shame.

Shame.

Oh, privacy.

I had everything I ever wanted.

Don't privacy.

Don't privacy.

Just jump along the way.

You went on lunch break and there were tennis coaches

with the tennis rackets.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Freshly strung Wilson's.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

And they got to pop open a three pack of tennis balls

every time and give that tube a bit of a sniff.

So nice.

Oh, Mr. Agassi was a great coach.

Yeah.

That was good.

That was really good.

Really good.

Well, Jump Jam was invented by a New Zealander called Brett.

And Brett is still like the forefront of Jump Jam.

He has been jumping the jam.

Since 1991.

Does this Brett guy have loaded?

Well, I don't know how loaded he is.

He sells the, he choreographs the dances.

Yeah.

And then, and then sells a digital package to the school

and they chuck on Jump Jam and they do like an aerobic sort of

word.

It's not just like a dance routine.

It's a bit more aerobic seat.

It's got a bigger aerobic seat and then you can be loaded.

You reckon he's loaded.

He's been doing it for a long time.

All the schools are buying it.

All the schools are buying it.

Well, then there's Jump Jam competitions.

And this is what I attended yesterday.

Oh my God.

On a Sunday.

A Jump Jam competition.

This, honestly, kids, hey, having kids sounds horrible.

Yeah, really stuffing up my schedule.

That's a, that's fine.

You're less gay.

That's fine.

That's the first day.

The day, the Lord's Day.

But also doing this on a school day.

I did the whole day off and do it on a school day.

That sounds like a great idea for a school.

So then the kids pay to enter.

The teams pay to enter.

You pay to enter.

You pay to enter.

And you go along and Brett's there and then some judges

and then you get some old jazzed up for Jump Jam.

And then they come out and do a Jump Jam.

Now my thought when we were going,

because the kids have been practicing the Jump Jam.

They've been doing the routine.

And he's been practicing the Jump Jam routine.

And they did it to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.

By a Jeterbug.

Jeterbug.

That I call the Jeterbug song.

Wham.

Right.

By Wham.

And they know about his public toilet cruising.

All right.

Look.

Forgive him.

Forget.

Forgive him.

Forget.

I haven't, I haven't delved into it with my children.

That's something that we'll talk about

when they're a little bit older.

Okay.

Now I was of the opinion

that these kids had choreographed the dance.

Yeah.

And so the kids go out and Andy's team was second.

And then two later, the next team comes out

and Jeterbug starts again.

And I'm like, they stole our song.

Do they know about his public toilet cruising?

No.

I don't know if those kids, that aren't my kids.

That's not my kids.

Someone needs to tell some of these kids.

About George Michael.

You know what we're just ignoring it?

Yeah.

Maybe later.

We're going to, we're going to bench it for a moment.

Okay.

That we could talk about later when they're a bit older.

But I was like, oh my God, they're doing the same song.

These cheats.

And then the dance starts.

It's the same dance.

And I have a step up moment.

You remember Step Up, the iconic cheerleading movie?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

The coach was just going around selling the same dances.

Oh, is that Bring It On?

Well, Step Up, the dancing on the Step Up to the streets.

Yes.

Step Up, I got confused it was Bring It On.

Yeah, Bring It On.

I thought we'd had, we'd had a Bring It On moment.

Right.

And someone had been spying and then gone back to their school

and copied the dance.

Yeah.

I lean over to some other mums and dads and I'm like,

they've stolen our dance.

And one of the other dads is like, they've stolen our dance.

And the mums are like, no, no, no.

These are, these are Brett's dances.

Oh, right.

So Brett's choreographed.

Yeah.

And then it, and then everybody does the dances

that Brett's choreographed.

So you don't even write.

And in that moment, you just realize your kids aren't special.

So then, so after seeing the Jitterbug dance twice,

I was like, oh, too many, that's too many for me.

Brett goes around the country watching child after child

after child after child do the dance that he invented.

Oh my God, that is like the definition of insanity.

It's torture.

He's torturing himself.

What has he done wrong that he feels

like he needs to put himself through this?

Yeah.

But I was like, he's watching the, he knows how the dance goes.

Yeah.

Better than anyone else.

So I am proposing we launch our own Jump Jam.

Where we go.

Jam, jump, jam, jam, jumpers.

Yup.

Yeah.

And they have to invent their own dance.

I don't want no kid coming in and showing me

the dance that I've already danced.

Yeah, we used to make up our own dances

and have to perform them.

Yeah.

For the whole thing sounds.

I don't want anything to do with this torture.

How many times in the afternoon would you like

to hear Bruno Mars magic?

My day suggests three.

Zero would be my hour.

I'll say 0.3, 0.5.

I'll say three, three, the dance, and they'll dance every time.

Can we go on the show in the next 15 minutes?

It's your chance to win your share of $10,000

with the Flight Center gift cards.

We've got in studio 10, because it's first day

of the day, 10 captain's packs.

In studio over the next two weeks,

we're going to give you the chance each day

to call and pick a backpack inside different gift card amounts.

Thanks to Flight Center to give away.

So listen now for that activated.

But next, it's Fact of the Day.

Are we doing a week this week or just random facts?

I hadn't thought of doing a week this week,

but we have a week off doing a week.

Well, why don't you do the one you were going to do,

and then we'll see if it's worthy of a week.

Okay. Oh, yeah. Good idea.

It's about salt. No, baby.

No, can't be salt week.

No.

Play Zodiacs, Fletch, Vaughan, and Helen.

Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day, Yeah.

Well, today's Fact of the Day is about the salty ocean.

The salty ocean.

The salty ocean.

And where does the salt come from in the ocean?

From a salt mine.

From the shaker.

Yes, from the giant, giant shaker.

Yeah, a grinder, big, massive salt grinder.

Yep. Yep. And then the sky.

Yeah. And God, when he was creating the earth,

was just like, a little bit more.

Jesus said, tell me when and God got distracted

and then came back and he's like,

what have you done?

He's like, oh, I've over salted the water.

Oh, classic.

Tip it out and start again.

There's not enough.

And so they just left it as it was.

Right. No.

It's, well, today's Fact of the Day,

I want to tell you, give you an indication

of how much salt is in the water.

400 bags.

Depending on how big the bags are,

sure, that can totally work.

Yeah.

So it is estimated, from some of the best estimations,

given that 3.5% of the weight of sea water

comes from dissolved salts.

So it's only around about three and a half percent.

What about in the Black Sea where you can-

That's higher.

That's higher.

That's higher.

That's a flowing sea.

I'm talking about the world's, the conjoined ocean.

If you were to take all of the salt out of the sea

and put it on the land, 40 foot of salt everywhere,

over the whole land of all the world's land.

Correct.

Wait. So all the land is covered,

but it's 40 feet deep.

No. No. No. No. No.

I'm rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum-rum.

That's 266 meters thick.

It's a 40-story office building.

That's over the entire-

I had my notes wrong.

I was like, no, it was more than that.

It's a 40-story office building over the land.

That is insane.

It would cover the land.

It's very salty.

Very salty.

500 feet, 166 meters thick salt crust.

If we were to take all the salt out of the ocean

and put it on the land.

Goodness me.

Isn't that a lot of salt?

So then I was like, where does it all come from?

The salt.

So, rain that falls on the land has dissolved carbon dioxide

from the surrounding air.

It's falling.

It brings a bit of carbon dioxide,

giving it a slightly acidic nature.

Okay. Right.

And then it falls and it slowly, as it does,

rain erodes over thousands and thousands and thousands of years.

You're not going to be able to just next time it's raining.

If you look outside next time

and the rain is dissolving a rock in front of your eyes.

Yeah, wild.

And the rocks-

Stay indoors.

I would stay indoors as long as you can

and you try to seek shelter.

Slowly, and then it gets into the rivers

and it runs into the sea.

Yep.

And there it kind of stagnates and sits there

and as the evaporation and everything happens in the sea,

the salt gets left behind and it concentrates.

That's what salt is.

And so, yeah, it's runoff off the land.

So the ocean is only getting saltier.

Oh, no.

I can tell she's got a real attitude.

Yeah, real sassy number.

So, yeah, that's an amazing fact about the 40 stories high

of salt everywhere.

Yeah.

The 40 stories office building on all land.

Because you know how most of the world is ocean.

And incredibly deep and incomprehensibly large amount

of water.

Yeah.

Oh, Don.

I hate it.

Oh, that just seemed to shiver up my spine.

Yeah.

And those fish with light bulb, light bulb angler fish.

Yeah, when they go real deep and they're like,

oh, we found a new fish and you look at it and you're just like,

bleh.

Yeah.

Because it's all just a blob in eyes.

Yeah.

And then it's $8 for a fillet at the supermarket.

You're like, that seems steep.

Yeah.

And I'll just have a tetekehe.

Thanks, mate.

All right, so today's fact of the day is

you took all the salt out of the ocean

and popped it on the land.

It would be a 500 foot or 166 meter thick crust of salt.

Fact of the day.

Day, day, day, day.

I do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

Play a CDM stretch for the nailie.

Play ZM.

I reckon Vaughan, you're going to hate this.

I'm always happy to hear someone's pregnant

and if they want the baby and they're having the baby.

No, no, no, no.

That's not the part.

So basically it's been revealed that Elon Musk and Grimes

with their on and off again relationship share a third child that no one knew about.

So is this coming up because he is Walter Isaacson has done a biography on Elon Musk.

He's famous for doing the Steve Jobs one.

Some of the big autobiographies in the world.

He's done them all and apparently Elon Musk has come out.

No surprises looking like a big man, baby.

No, absolutely.

Do you know he's a father of 11?

Elon Musk has 11 kids.

No.

Yeah.

So he's got a bunch of other kids and three with Grimes.

And so but we had no idea they've had a third one.

Yeah.

Is it called?

Yeah, so they're not together anymore.

I didn't know that had a second one.

But it's a third one called X, Y, Z, P, Q, R, T.

So there was X, A, A, 12.

Yeah.

Who's three now?

And then there's ExaDark side rail.

Now that's that kid's 20 months.

Don't touch the ExaDark side rail.

They're always dirty.

You're going to have to wash your hands afterwards.

So at one point and they don't even know when.

They welcomed a third child named Techno Mechanicus.

That's the bit I thought you'd hate.

I just felt sorry for the kids.

Giving them kids, you do that dogs.

Give a dog a wacky name because it's a dog.

And it's just like, I'm just stoked to be here.

Yeah.

But if you name your kid Techno Mechanicus,

like what do you think it's going to be?

Smooth sailing at school?

Yeah.

My name rhymes with porn and corn and lawn.

And like that was a lot for kids to be like,

oh, your name rhymes with so many things.

We're going to make fun of you before.

But yeah.

Side rail, sidecar and.

Side rail and Techno Mechanicus.

Yeah.

But just why are they going to,

nobody liked that and nobody talked about it.

I know.

So Grime said in an article like recently,

that they're not together anymore,

but you know, he's the love of her life

and their best friends and all this kind of stuff.

And you know, it's so obviously at some point

they've had a bloody baby.

So and they've kept it secret.

The pregnancy secret and everything.

I want to know how long you kept your pregnancy secret for.

Because this happens.

Like so lots of celebrities are doing it now

where they're like, don't want to be bloody.

Oh, you could.

You're harangue.

Yeah, totally.

The minute they say we're expecting a child,

that's just like pressed.

What are they called paparazzi?

But yeah.

And you kind of go on Instagram with a glass of wine.

Yeah.

So I mean Kylie, Kylie Jenner did it.

Remember for her first baby Stormy,

everyone was like, where's she?

And then she just came out and I had a baby.

Everyone was like, oh, cool.

But I would be interesting to know just like everyday people.

Yes.

That aren't like Kylie Jenner.

Why you kept a pregnancy secret?

Like did you not want to tell the family?

Because you knew that.

The family did not want your work to know.

You know, so you were just bloody loosening up the t-shirts

and wearing a baggy one.

Maybe, yeah, who are you hiding it from and why?

Maybe you found out somebody had a pregnancy from you.

Maybe you're hiding it from your husband

because you knew that that baby was not his.

Or your ex did it.

You know when an ex doesn't want kids

and then they get a new partner

and they have a kid within like three months.

And until they just didn't want kids with you.

Yeah.

Yes.

So I'll wait 100 dials a day and let's take some calls.

You can text as well 96696.

How long did you keep the pregnancy a secret?

Give us a call.

So apparently Grimes and Elon Musk

have had another bloody baby.

And Norbert and you.

They kept it a secret the whole time.

The pregnancy a secret and the baby a secret.

No one even knows how old it is,

but it's called techno-mechanicus.

Of course it is.

Oh, for God's sake.

We want to know.

This is also my favorite transformer.

We want to know if you've ever kept a pregnancy secret

and why anonymous.

Good morning.

Why did you keep a pregnancy secret?

Anonymous.

No, that's you.

This happens every time with anonymous callers

because they don't know that it's there.

Which we're calling them by a name that they're not familiar with.

Anonymous.

Yeah.

So I kept, ended up keeping my fourth pregnancy a secret

from my family for six months.

Wow.

It was six months after you found out you were pregnant

or from birth?

From when I found out I was pregnant.

So my brother and my sister were both getting married

within a couple of months of each other.

Oh, and you didn't want to take their attention?

Yeah.

So I was a mate of honor as well.

And I was like, oh, so the whole Kensington wedding

I was just drinking like zero alcohol wine,

not showing thank God.

And then it wasn't until my little sister came out

and said she was pregnant.

But I was like, oh, it's on my eyes.

Oh my God.

My brother would know straight away.

He'd be like, why aren't you drinking?

After the first little bit, I was like, oh, it's gone a bit

far now to like bring it up now.

Yeah, right.

You're in too deep.

Yeah.

So then it wasn't until like my sister was like, oh, I'm pregnant.

And I'm like, yeah, it's on my eyes.

So you wait further along than her though,

because you kept it secret.

Yes.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay.

Amazing.

All right.

And on a thank you, Rochelle, why did you keep a pregnancy secret?

So it was actually my oldest sister.

Okay.

She kept her whole entire pregnancy a secret from all of us

up until a month after birth.

A month after birth?

What?

Yes.

Why?

Yeah.

I think she was just scared of us dadding it.

She was probably a mom that was baby number four.

Yeah, maybe just a bit scared there.

So, but this happened.

But yeah, I found out through,

of course, you guys sent us all on social media,

said she was taking a break.

And then March, I decided to just have all we know

the other profiles.

And there's a public post saying,

I hope you're recovering well.

Congrats on the new cutie.

And I was like, wait, what?

You found out on a post?

I did.

Not from her.

Yes.

I just turned like, is there a nice little nephew

I don't know about?

If you sent a question, Mark.

And then I screenshoted the post like,

I know, come on, just spill the beans.

What?

She even tried to deny it.

Yeah, a question, Mark.

Yeah.

That is wild.

That's really wild.

Yeah, it kind of makes it worse

because I was pregnant as well.

So, and I was trying to pull a Kylie.

Obviously, she had one up on me

and did it way better than what I did.

Yeah.

So, I kept my pregnancy as secret

until I was 33 weeks pregnant,

but not from my family, just from social media.

But then once I found out,

she had pulled a Kylie way better than me

and my mom's going to announce mine

because I don't want other people to think

that we're buying stuff or something.

We're all keeping secret pregnancy.

Yeah, this is wild.

Unrelated.

Unrelated.

We'll get distracted if I get on that track.

Tell the nation.

I'm just watching old Jump Jam videos.

We've talked about that before.

He's having a laugh.

Now, what about where, how you kept

your pregnancy secret and how long for?

Yes.

Who from?

Because Grimes and Elon Musk

have had a baby, some point.

And he's had got twins

or somebody else that it's about the same age.

It's like 11 kids.

The guy loves breeding.

What's your child's support?

He said, you know why?

Because he said that I'm smart.

People need to have more kids.

Funny, yeah.

Right.

Jeez.

He's something else.

He really is.

So some messages in, why or how long

did you keep a pregnancy secret for?

My daughter was pregnant.

She found out herself at 34 weeks.

You hear about this, don't you?

Oh, my God, yes.

So far through this pregnancy.

And she kept it to herself.

And then I found out, and then we kept it

from everyone until the baby was born at 41 weeks.

She just never showed.

Wow.

Isn't that crazy?

Yeah, we've spoken to people,

haven't we, on the show?

Yes.

But years sort of found out when they were giving birth.

Yeah.

It's wild.

I'm pregnant currently, says somebody.

And I'm not telling anybody until Christmas day,

I'm just going to rock up with, hey, Nana,

hey, Dad, hey, everybody, I'm pregnant.

It's not about you.

And I'll probably be about 32 weeks by then.

That's about Jesus' birthday.

It's not about you.

Jesus was a baby too, you know what?

And by the sounds of it, this could be a Christmas baby.

Yeah.

Jesus put 2.0.

At least Jesus is doing a patch update overnight,

and it's Jesus 1.35.

Yeah, it could be.

I'm always waking up to my phone saying,

well, you updated your Jesus overnight.

And then he's awake while you were sleeping.

Yeah, got a couple of things that need to be ironed out there.

I had my third pregnancy from my family and friends

until he was born.

Someone who saw me in person at the time knew,

but only because I had an 18-month gap.

And then this next one was a year gap,

so it was happening a lot.

And so I was just out of town every time.

A lot of these seem to be a bit of shame telling the family.

Yeah, a lot of young people not telling their families,

or like, oh, it was a one-night stand,

and they didn't want them to know and judge me.

Yeah, it was you, do you?

I was 16 when I got pregnant and stayed in school

and hid my pregnancy until term three,

when I told the teachers that I was leaving,

and they were like, why are you leaving?

And I said, because I'm having a baby in less than five weeks.

My mom was a superstar.

She'd just keep taking up my clothes more and more

throughout the pregnancy, so it never really showed.

My sister's friend kept her pregnancy secret the entire time.

It was a little bit of a surprise pregnancy,

so she just didn't tell anybody until the baby was already there.

Right.

That's, yeah.

At least they're not going on about it on Facebook.

Hide.

You love maternity shoots.

You told, oh, you love seeing someone with a beer belly at the beach.

I had to hide holding their belly.

I had to hide someone the other day with baby stuff.

I'm just like, no.

So rude.

Yeah.

Is it?

So rude.

Is it?

Oh, I just realized I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards.

So.

Well, that means the show's backwards, then, isn't it?

We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse?

And hopefully they'll work out the other way.

ZM's Fletch Von and Haley.

My first memories of a diner is probably going with my grandpa.

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