ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th October 2023

NZME 10/10/23 - Episode Page - 1h 23m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Flesh Fawn and Haley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe Coffee with my MACAs rewards.

Good morning, welcome to the show Flesh Fawn and Haley's got his flannel out.

Yeah, I got a hot compress on my eye, I got a sore eye and I've never had a stye before,

but all symptoms point to that.

I've had one, it's horrible.

I went through a period of getting them, I think because we wear makeup as well,

the more you wear it, and if you don't completely get it off, it blocks your bloody things.

That's when I got mine after we had a photo shoot and it clogged a pore.

Yeah.

It clogs a pore in your eye.

Eyelash.

In your eyelash.

Eyelid.

In your eyelid, yeah.

Can you see a little white thing?

Yeah, I gave it a good squeeze.

No.

I gave it a minus squeeze and that's how it cleared up.

No, but you're shitting on your eyes.

I'll wash my hands first.

Oh, don't look at me.

You look like you're bloody on crack or something.

Yeah, because of the hot water in my eye.

I mean, this is what he says happens.

Does he need to take the day off?

Happened.

Yeah.

There's an option to take a day off.

Voizontologists have to turn up for work for anything, regardless, unless you're dying.

No, you could take a day off.

No, you can't.

Yeah, you can.

Off you pop.

It's just your voice.

We've got it.

Your voice is fine.

I'm more than a voice.

I'm a man.

I know you are.

I'm a man.

I should have requested closing time.

Time for home and now I'm home.

So gather your drinks and your friends.

She's nothing, if not lyrically, very capable.

Closing time.

You don't have to.

I mean, I couldn't play this song, but do we want it?

Closing time.

I'm basically one last call for alcohol.

Yeah, so finish your whiskey and beer.

Closing time.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Yep.

I know who I am.

Stop, stop, stop.

Please stop.

Should we just do a sing-along show?

Hump Day, instead of talking about the things we planned to talk about.

There was a bar in Nelson that always played this song.

Yeah, you literally thought this was 100%.

This was the gig tour at the Outback in Hamilton when the lights came on.

And he was like, ah, camera.

That boy would be like, God, Jesus Christ.

Oh, fantastic.

The reason I'm talking about closing time is because there is hashtag closing shift going viral.

Now, if you've worked in hospital, you've all done a closing shift before, which is this.

Basically, you're at the end of the night and you get all the punters out and then you've got to clean.

Yeah, but they've turned the machines off.

You can't get anything made for you.

And it says they're open until 9 p.m. or 11 p.m.

But they're like, it's 20 minutes before and they're like, no, sorry.

It's closing time.

Because the doors are closed.

They can get their stuff out before that started their next hour.

Yeah, but sometimes I feel like you're not spending enough money.

Yeah, but I feel like the closing shift should be when they finish the business, when they close the business, you know?

No, closing shift is when you're out the door.

I know.

Yeah, but I just want food.

This disgruntled punter.

Like I'm ever having dinner that late.

So closing shift is one of the latest TikTok trends.

It's not about HOSPO or restaurants or bars.

It's about the closing shift at home.

The thing you do when it's closing time on your day and you're like, right, I'm going to go to bed.

It's closing time.

And then you do a closing shift.

See, I would do, I kind of do this when I have dinner.

So I'll clean up everything in the dishwasher, turn it on or chuck it in.

Yeah.

Wipe the benches.

Everything's clean.

Everything in the bin.

If the bins are full, the bin's out.

Okay, I don't know.

It was this easy.

This is literally what happens every night.

Yes, same.

If you leave your dishes just on the bench overnight.

But it's not just that.

You're a bit of a monster.

Unless you're pissed.

If you're a bit pissed, you feel that.

This is like you do a full house reset.

You floof the pillows.

You might even do a cum.

You might even, you know, do the rugs and everything is reset.

So that you start your day the next day.

With a clean house.

And then the next shift come in and it's clean for them.

Do you spray and wipe the bench every time?

Or do you just give it like a hot cloth?

Sometimes just a hot cloth.

It depends how heavily I've cooked.

Yeah.

If there's a bollock naze all over the beach top.

Yeah.

Spray and wipe.

If I have just a few crumbs.

Hot cloth.

A little bit of hot cloth.

Yeah.

Hot cloth.

You also don't want to, you don't want to cancel inspection in the morning.

And all your dishes.

Oh, you don't want to manky in the sink.

You don't want to.

You get a D rating on your own home.

It's embarrassing.

Measure people coming into your house and they come in and there's a health and safety D rating

and you're like, oh yeah.

I was a bit manky in here.

Sorry guys.

Jen.

Is this the song that got banned after September 11?

No.

One of the semi-sonic songs got banned.

Why?

Closing time.

Banned.

You're not thinking of, oh yeah.

And you're thinking of, are you, oh.

Well a song got banned on nine leather.

Lots of them.

I mean, obviously.

Or anything with like fly in it, like learn to fly the food fighters.

Lots of ACDC songs.

Yeah.

You're not thinking of five for fighting.

But that became a bit of a song after 9-Eleven.

You're talking about five for five.

Yeah.

Superman.

Um.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings.

And I mean, what a lyric.

Bang.

We got through the whole song.

Wipe down your bench, Dean.

Dirty monsters.

You basically, the moral of the story is wipe your bench at the end of the day.

Short men.

Yes.

We all know one or two or three, sometimes on each other's shoulders to be the same size

as an ordinary man.

Stacked.

Yeah.

Stack guards, trench.

Stacked up in a trench coat to try to get their way into an adult movie.

Movie, yes.

Even though technically they're already adults.

Adults.

Yeah, they could have just gone in individually.

Yeah.

They could have gone through the little gaps in the, in the jacket.

Yeah.

Short men make good lovers.

So there is this article that we've found.

Yeah.

With this bold claim.

Short men make great lovers.

I'm trying to think about the shortest.

Short men, great husbands.

Great husbands.

You have to be a lover before you can be out.

Well, maybe not if you're of the extreme Christian faith.

Well, yeah.

Of course, be saving yourself for the sanctity of men.

Or you could be a renegade fighter if you're not a lover.

So this article has come to light in our attention.

And we thought-

I thought the closing time was a little old.

My reference is not on the mark today.

Your late 90s, early 2000s renegade references today.

And then rebel sports for sure.

Yeah.

Producer Joe, this article has come to light.

Why short men make great husbands.

And we thought we'd run these points past you.

As a resident short king.

As a short king.

How long are you for the listeners that are now trying to imagine you?

A tall 5'7".

5'7".

Not really that short.

No, I don't think so.

He's surrounded by-

We're quite tall.

As a crew.

We're a tall-

Yeah.

We're a tall show.

Yeah, we are.

Stretched out Lanky Bunch.

Thank you for calling us Lanky.

No, I don't want to be called Lanky.

I fill out.

Jesus Christ, Vaughn.

You are useless.

Well, I know one of them is about how close the head is to the pubic area.

No hands.

Yeah.

No hands.

What?

No hands required.

You can just walk into the room and-

Ate legit reasons according to yourtango.com that-

He's just got the list.

Short guys make the best husbands.

What were you doing before we went on here?

I was still trying to find what semi-sonic song was banned on you.

Then why told you there was no song when there was bans?

I thought it was viewing that list and I was just like, why are these on the list?

And there was-

Anyway.

I've been with a lot of short men.

You should try it.

Do you have someone in mind?

Oh, no, what are we doing?

What are we doing, J.B.?

No, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.

What if Jason Momoa was the size of Jared?

Would you still find-

That would be weird.

He's so wide, like so st-stacked.

Yeah.

He needs height to stretch it out.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Ate legit reasons.

Short guys make better husbands.

Number one, they're intimate more frequently according to the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Because they're like little chihuahualas.

I always get more humpy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing with that curve back?

Get off, get off, get off my leg.

I think really, what makes them more humpy?

Lucky dudes, getting it on most were 25 to 29 years old,

weight less than 172 pounds, which is,

not much.

Sure, sure, sure.

And we're five foot nine or under.

That's about 200 New Zealand dollars.

Is that good for you?

It's about 75 KGs.

Okay, fine.

Yeah, under that.

And the height as well.

Number two, that chock full of confidence.

Napoleon complex is actually coden for ridiculously ambitious

because they're the littlest dogs in the fight.

So they've got to bark the loudest.

Yes, yes, yes, we all know a little fellow.

Short man syndrome, yeah.

Usually kind of aggressive in defense of their height.

That's definitely back in the early 2000s.

Short man had a real complex about it.

Number three, they make you feel like a super model

when you stand beside them because you're taller than them.

Yeah, I can see that.

Like if they chuck on some heels,

suddenly they're a head taller than me.

They just feel like a beast when I stand next to a tiny man.

They live the longest.

Yeah, but men don't last.

Because it's like the dogs.

Yeah, bones, too much weight, too much,

yeah, it's just too much.

Hearts gonna come more distance.

Inbreed, like those dogs.

Yeah, well, you know, Aaron.

You know, the longest living men are the men under five foot two.

That's a little fella.

Yeah, tiny, tiny fella.

Less space to fill up with disease.

Keep going up and down so much.

Oh, I know.

It's a hummingbird heart.

Yeah, they've got longer life expectancy.

No, it covered that one.

God, I'm having a great day.

Yes, die.

No, more committed.

Research from New York University found that men,

short men are significantly less likely to get divorced

than average at all men because their options are limited.

The amount of girls on Tinder with like height restrictions.

Yeah.

Oh, like a Ray-Bosian roller coaster.

Yeah, it has to be this tall, too.

So you wouldn't even, if they've got a height restriction,

you wouldn't even show up in their feed to swipe.

Oh, if they've got a...

I think just in their bio, they're like,

I'm this tall, so that kind of...

Yeah, right.

I'm sure you can't just eliminate people on their height.

Yeah, you can.

Can you?

Yeah.

Imagine if you get on their width.

Oh, God, it'll be terrible.

Very problematic.

They give you more options when dating.

The average height for men is five foot nine, not six foot.

Once you drop that absurd height requirement,

you'll double maybe even triple your chances for love

because there's more people.

Yeah.

That's why size nine shoes are always the display ones.

Yeah.

Such a small foot.

And then I put them on in size 12

and they just like make clown shoes.

Yeah, I know.

I'm long in foot.

They're easier to match in height during intimacy.

You know.

Because you're right there.

Yeah, right there.

You're only going to be five foot one

and kissing your six foot two boyfriend during intimacy.

Yeah, that's a shower accident.

Why didn't it happen, isn't it?

Yeah.

That's a slip on the freshly cleaned floors.

Yeah.

Their height prevents you from standing on your tippy toes.

I like standing on my tippy toes.

So you don't need to stand on your tippy toes

and get sore calf muscles.

Yeah, no girls.

Oh, my God, sore calf muscles.

How long are you kissing for?

Go to the gym.

Box.

No one's ever had to stand on tip toes for this guy right here.

A nice flat foot.

Because they would be four foot.

I was going to say maybe they could almost squat down

a little bit, give themselves a bit of extra stability.

Sometimes I like to stand like on the edge of the balcony

and kiss Aaron and say, imagine if I was this tall.

I'm six foot six now.

Right.

Yeah.

Is that weird for him?

He's like, yuck.

OK.

What did you think of that list, Jared?

Yeah, I'm fine with it.

I was expecting.

Doors by a short king?

Yeah, and doors by a short king.

Congratulations on being a fabulous lover.

Thank you.

I have references, so.

Yeah, happy to check the references.

Give us, pass us the numbers.

Hi there, this is Hailey from ZDM here.

I'm just calling on, in regards to Jared Pickstock

and whether or not he was a delightful lover to you.

He's trying to convince me to branch out to small kings.

Yes.

I was just wondering if you could comment on the fact that.

The quality of the lingus, the quality of the.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Play ZDM's Fletch Von Anaheile.

I didn't do, I never did like a college,

you know, like a uni roommate thing.

Did you guys, did anyone do, like, you know,

what is it?

Like a shed?

Residential halls.

Yeah, like whores.

Like rooms and the like.

Residence.

Nah, no one in the booth here.

What was radio school year?

Was that room dorms, eh?

Yeah, so we had like a kind of halls, but self-cated.

It was called own house.

Free donuts and food and stuff.

No, no, no, you like.

Self-cated.

Like a motel.

Oh, I see, you didn't get that.

But it was also like a flat situation, right?

Like you had a living room and then five bedrooms.

Yeah, five of us.

And like they all studied.

There was like people who did like singing and dancing

and then journalists and then a few radios.

Such malarkey.

Get a real degree, like an acting one.

Well, you know, this is massive in America.

They're like college dorm room, like we share a room.

And your parents travel two hours in the car.

Parents drive with all your crap.

And then you get there and you meet the roommate.

It's like we see on the movies and the TV shows.

Exactly, you don't know them at all.

Well, there's one chick who shared this online.

And this happened to her and she got there

and she was like, help.

My mom just dropped me off and my roommate

hasn't even said hello to me and has been on FaceTime

with her boyfriend for 72 hours straight.

Like didn't hang up, phone plugged in,

talking for 72 hours straight

with her like high school boyfriend.

I was going to say, are they doing that thing where

they're like, oh, we'll make it work.

We'll make it work, we'll stay together.

This was great coming from a small town.

All the girls at the end of the year with boyfriends.

They're like, we're going to make it work.

And he's like, bless him.

Trade, diesel mechanic or something.

Yes.

But he's staying in the small town

and she's off to Wellington.

And I'm like, oh, you're not going to know what's

hit you in that big city.

Big, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

I remember where and you got all these

smooth operators and these sexy boys.

Yeah.

It's not Lawrenceville.

There's hot people in Wellington.

Yeah.

I know.

Sexy arty people in Wellington as well.

And you've got your bloody plumber mate back in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, don't worry.

I will move too.

He's bloody laughing now though.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was the plumbing business.

Oh, I wish I found a man in a trade.

Yeah.

Or a woman in a trade.

But I didn't.

Yes, 72 hours straight.

Because we had this as well at Drama School

even coming for their creative endeavors

and leaving their small towns and being like,

my boyfriend lives back home.

And you'll be like, oh.

How long will that last?

Only one of them did.

Rare wouldn't even recognize your partner

after when they came home at Easter

or after a term at Bloody Toy Focarte, would you?

You'd be like, Jesus.

And they'll be like, sorry.

They'll like come inside.

You're like, well, I just need to be invited

energetically into the room.

Yeah.

Who would you like to come inside?

Which one of my many characters?

Cassandra.

I'll just shut the door and be like, that's enough for me.

72 hours.

I've never faced timed anyone for that long.

No, that's ridiculous.

You'd have to have your phone plugged in the whole time.

Otherwise it would run out of battery.

Definitely did on the actual phone,

landline talking to Benjamin for a good couple of hours

to my mum.

I was like, get off the phone.

Or she'd pick up the other phone downstairs

and be like, hi, Ben.

Hailey needs to go to bed.

Oh, yeah.

We'd be like, hi, Patsy.

You'd be like, I'm still embarrassing me.

No, they really got on.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, it was a really nice relationship, actually.

But yeah, that would be the only time

that they'd be like, cut it out.

Yeah.

Even when I go overseas.

And the uni didn't go, to tell you

they'd had a low battery, so you'd have to pick up that.

Oh my God.

I'd be like, I've got to put it back in the cradle.

You'd have to go on the old corded one.

Yeah, I know.

It's the whole way.

Now we're going to Europe soon.

But also the same thing when people go on the OE

and someone stays back in New Zealand, they're like.

You're telling me you're getting on a boat in Spain

and you're not having a little Orlasey puppy?

You know, you're telling me that Mr. Wonganui's

going to be waiting while you're planning in Mallorca

with Carlos.

I'm having a good feed of paella.

Paella.

Paella, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's hot.

Now I want to meet a man called Carlos and eat some paella.

Well, I can do you a Carl and some porridge.

I sure, I'll take it.

That's the New Zealand version.

This is the top six.

Hello there.

This weekend we play Ireland.

The loser is out.

Yeah, of the rugby World Cup.

Now they are currently number one in the world.

They've been playing very well.

What are we?

Where are we ranked?

We were down.

We dropped a lot.

Yeah.

And do you remember they came here and beat us?

They won their first series.

Yeah.

Oh, guys.

All Blacks World are ranking.

World rankings in rugby.

One, Ireland, two, France, three, South Africa,

fourth New Zealand, five, Scotland.

Oh, goodness.

OK.

That's OK, right?

Let's just prepare this weekend.

I don't want to be negative.

I don't want to be negative, but just saying.

No, we have faith.

Go the boys.

The game is eight o'clock Sunday morning.

Australia's 10th.

Yeah, they're already home, aren't they?

Yeah, they've popped off home.

They've popped off home.

So what I want to say is, you know,

don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I got the top six other sporting events.

We've got to look forward to if the All Blacks lose this week.

OK, fantastic.

Number six on the list.

Literally any other sport we play against Ireland.

Like what?

Anything.

Well, yeah, we always beat them in every.

Do we beat them at football?

I don't even know when we last played them.

Yeah.

And they're not the footballing nation that next door is.

Yeah, we beat them at cricket.

Smash them at cricket.

I think we even played them at that.

Irish version of cricket.

What's that?

Isn't there a Gaelic version of maybe?

Oh, how silly.

Yeah, I don't think we've got a team that plays Gaelic football.

Yeah, although that's probably there, you know.

Text us if we're wrong.

I'd love to hear what we last lost to Ireland.

Have you beaten them at marching?

Well, they do a different style of marching.

Oh, do they march the Irish?

No, well, I've done a lot of Irish dances, but not.

They don't, they don't.

We're not going to beat them at what's that thing?

Riverdance.

We're not going to beat them at that.

We won't.

We simply won't.

OK, so let's not play them at that.

We've got their arms locked down way better than we ever could.

Yeah, they look, mm, they're legs, mm.

OK, yeah, the last time Ireland played the All Whites,

we lost 3-1.

When was that, though?

2019.

OK, not that long ago.

OK.

Next on the list.

Number five on the list of the top six other sporting events.

We've got a lot of four, two of the all-exloses.

We're going to Ireland, the Cricket World Cup.

It's currently on.

You may not have even heard about it.

It's kind of been overshadowed.

We had a couple of good wins.

We had England in the first game.

A couple of great catchers.

Oh, yeah, great catchers.

Great old lovely Trentie.

Trent for me.

Trent, his last name is...

Bolls.

No, Trent.

Bolt.

Yeah, that's what I said.

So I love about you the most as your sporting knowledge.

Oh, I know, for me, for me, it's got to be Cricket.

It's got to be Trent Bolt.

It's got to be, it's a ball about the catcher.

Name some other ones in the team.

Phineas Flabbergaster.

And Chris Keans.

Yeah, sure.

I mean, he played cricket a long time ago.

Stephen Fleming.

Yeah.

And Jariah Mariah.

Jariah Mariah.

Would somebody have got one of the best?

No one's got an arm like Jariah Mariah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right from the boundary, he could launch it.

Yeah, from the boundary, no.

Number four on the list of the top six

other sporting events you have to look forward to

if you all blacks lose this week into Ireland.

The Gay Games.

The Gay Games are happening in Hong Kong.

These are the Gay Games postponed from 2022.

In the Hong Kong.

I know.

What games do they play at the Gay Games?

All of the games.

All of the usual Commonwealth Games.

Oh, I thought they were specifically Gay things.

No, they weren't.

I think that's specifically Gay people.

Like, what would be at the Gay Games

if they were specifically, okay.

All sorts, though.

Yep.

Number three on the list,

do we want to dwell on that or are we worried we're gonna

get in trouble?

Yeah, okay.

Number three on the list of the top six

other sporting events we've got to look forward to

if the all blacks lose to Ireland.

The Handball World Championships.

Oh, where are they heading?

The Scandinavian countries are sharing hosting duties.

Okay.

I had a look at a list of the teams.

Yep.

Not bad.

Because they're really well-

Very, like, great teams, obviously.

Yeah, the World Champs are skillful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that New Zealand team quite good?

We don't have a team.

We don't have a team in it, but...

We don't have a team in it.

Why don't we be the team?

Now, I looked it up, Handball was different

to what I thought it was.

I thought it was that one where you stood in a square

and you started here.

That's four square.

I love four square.

That's four square.

What is Handball?

We would definitely be in the four square World Champs.

Yeah.

Well, why don't we put a team?

It could be, like, Cool Runnings or something.

Yeah.

It could be, like, one of those Disney movies

where a bunch of ragtag handballers.

Underdogs.

We didn't win, but the real medal

was the friendships we made along the way.

It was the friendships we made

and the lessons we learned in here.

And we conned the government out of pain

for our flights to Scandinavia.

And we had a beautiful holiday.

Yeah.

And number one on the list

are the top six other sporting events

we've got to look forward to

if the All Blacks lose to Ireland this weekend.

The backyard cricket game at Christmas with your family

that starts out pretty casual.

Starts out pretty casual,

but pretty quickly gets well out of hand

and someone throws a cricket bat at somebody else.

Thank God it's plastic.

Yeah.

Well, it has to be after the wooden bat incident.

Yeah.

Of which we do not speak.

Of 2007.

Yeah, something.

Well, we lost Grandad, didn't we?

Yeah.

All right, pay.

That is today's top six.

It is absolutely bold of vegetables,

given their current price,

for them to ask us to pick a favourite.

Bold of them to say who would you vote for?

There's a few popping up now I noticed in the supermarket

that are cheap.

You know, you get a couple of things

and you're like, oh, okay, that's not too bad.

Yeah.

Avocado is back on the cheap bars.

Avocado, avocado time.

And then, yeah, it's still getting a $15, you know.

So somebody doing, it was Instagram really

suggested to me most overpriced things

in the supermarket this week

and it was a half a melon for $9.50.

$9.50.

That's what you eat when you're away

and it's the breakfast buffer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's only appropriate time for a melon.

Top 10 most hated vegetables, 10 cabbage, rude.

That's right, you're just cooking it wrong.

Yeah.

Number nine on the most hated veggies, beetroot.

Rude.

You're cooking it wrong.

Beetroot, just remember you ate it

because you might otherwise think you are bleeding

from the anus.

Number eight, asparagus.

Rude.

Yeah, smelly wings though.

Asparagus rules on the barbecue

and it rules it in the asparagus roll at a funeral.

With a bit of a pecorino crumb.

A what?

A little pecorino crumb.

We didn't go to a private school,

we don't know what that is.

You don't have your asparagus with a pecorino crumb.

No, no, no, no.

A pecorino is a cheese.

A pecorino, yeah.

No, I don't know.

That simply must make you a pecorino crumb.

Number seven, silver beet.

I'm on board.

You're yuck.

Get out.

Get out, get out, get out.

Your stringy shit.

Get out.

Fibrous shit.

Get out.

Celery by itself.

Couldn't agree more.

Yuck.

But it can play a part in like pretending

you're having any cream cheese with it like a spoon.

No, but like a Bollock Nays or soup,

they require a celery.

I can go without.

Number five on the list.

And I am angry that this is at number five.

This should be at number two on the best vegetables,

Brussels sprouts.

Yum.

You're cooking them wrong.

It's because we all have memories of having them as kids.

Boyled.

They were very bitter and boiled.

But grilled.

Oh my god.

Roll them around.

Put a bacon either.

Some other char on the top.

Yeah, some bacon chunks.

Number four on the list.

It's a hard dog to cook.

Is the swede.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Turnip is sort of a situation.

Hard to cook.

Yeah, you got to turn to the swede

so how to do the Swedes right.

Number three on the list.

Kind of agree because they're squeaky

when you put them in your mouth.

Broad beans.

No, I love broad beans.

It's too squeaky.

Too squeaky.

Yeah.

Make them into a dip.

OK, I could.

I could eat a broad bean dip.

Two, okra.

Never.

What is this?

Never buy it.

It's the holy one.

Yeah, it's going to be awesome.

Oh, yeah, I always see that.

Yeah, yeah.

And like Japanese food a lot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Indian curries can use it apparently

according to this list.

Who voted on this?

Big vegetables.

Big vegetables come out with this list.

New Zealand, big vegetable.

Yeah.

Bitter.

It's yuck.

Top 10.

Good ones.

Silverbeet 10.

Cabbage 9.

So these are hated, but they're also live.

They're a controversial one.

Eight is beetroot.

Seven is asparagus.

Six is spinach.

I thought they might be on top.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Spinach leaves are OK.

Good for you.

You need those leafy greens.

Five is peas.

Yum.

Fresh peas, though.

Not fresh.

Don't freeze them.

Yeah, only fresh.

Four.

Carrots.

Yum.

Three.

Cuma da.

Love it.

I'm blown away.

We're at two, and I haven't seen potato.

In fact, it's not on the list.

Two.

Broccoli.

Yum.

Cheesy brook.

And number one, tomato.

Tomato.

Tomato is number one.

Oh, no.

Tomatoes are fine, but they're not a number one vegetable.

Yeah, they're not number one.

No.

I would have thought potato.

I think.

You say potato, I say tomato.

I don't know who was asked.

We're swearing at 1,000 people.

Cuma da's there on number three.

Cuma da was three.

Oh, good, because I like that.

Open your tarting up, boy.

Yeah, I know, but no potatoes.

No potatoes.

That's wild.

Get out.

What about the onion?

There's not even an onion on there.

No, on neither list.

Onion is for sure.

What about garlic?

Is that a vegetable?

That's a vegetable.

It's a bulb, though.

It's a bulb.

Is that an onion or be a bulb, too?

Yeah, it would be.

Oh, I hate these semantics.

Yeah, me too.

A tomato is really a fruit.

Because tomato is number one, and technically it's a fruit.

Yeah.

Ah.

This list sucks, Vaughn.

Love with it.

Play Zerim's Fletch Vaughn and Haley.

Now, we all watch the chase.

Don't pretend like you don't.

It's a great show.

One of my absolute favorites.

But I always try to play along.

And I feel like I would just panic under the pressure,

even if you knew the answer.

Do you feel like that?

If you were a contestant.

Yeah, if you had to do it.

Oh, absolutely.

The lights, the audience, Bradley Walsh.

Yeah, and just like the moment, like we used to play this game

and have you been paying attention, you'd go like,

you've got, you know, 15 seconds to name me, and you're like.

Your brain just goes at this.

Anyway, there was a contestant on the chase

and he was doing his individual bit.

Oh, yeah.

Like they do an individual bit and then if they,

then they become a team.

Because I never watched that.

But I only, if I ever see the chase,

it's like five minutes before the news starts.

Yeah, right.

So I don't know how the game actually works.

Yeah.

That was what I used to be like.

Yeah.

OK, so the question he was asked,

first question straight out the gate for a thousand pounds.

The YouTube channel, Big Jet TV,

livestreams footage of what type of vehicle landing?

A plane.

Jet, yeah, airplanes, jet planes.

Jet planes, planes.

Not jet skis?

Oh, was that one of the options?

Oh, he did it.

He did, hon.

He said jet ski.

He said does a jet ski land?

You have to do jumps.

Exactly.

I think like he, just the word jet and the pressure of it

and he was like, jet skis.

Immediately and then he basically laughed at him

and then he was told he got it wrong.

I'd be like, can you edit that out

and I'll just say something else?

Yeah.

Anyway, I want to know if there's a moment

because like afterward you can see in his face that he's like,

oh my God, that's so embarrassingly stupid.

You know when you have those moments,

you're like, oh my God, that I'm so dumb.

Like, how did that happen?

Yes.

I want to know those moments when you just thought,

oh my God, I'm so dumb.

You know, you just like, just you say something so wrong.

Or you know, when you do that thing,

when you say a word over and over again and you're like,

what does that word mean?

Moment, moment, moment, moment.

Or you go to put your eye drops in, but it's super glue.

Yeah, you do that at least once a week.

Once a week.

Listen, you won't know this, but Fletcher's got his eyes closed.

Yeah, we're actually shut.

Is that why your eyes all bung?

Because I put something wrong in it.

No, I know.

It's a sigh.

Or I did this yesterday when I was driving.

I was like, man, my car's driving like shit.

Handbrake's on.

Doesn't it not like help ding, ding, ding, ding?

No, no, my car's not fancy enough.

It just has a bit of like tug on.

Yeah, I've done that before.

You're like, why is this car so slow?

And you're like, oh, I'm like pedal to the metal.

There is a light on your dashboard

that literally is an exclamation mark.

Which is like, hey, your handbrake's on.

But I just want to know those moments where you just think,

oh my God, I'm so dumb.

It could be something that happens all the time.

Or just one of those one-off moments where you just saw it.

Well, just a monumental hall's up

where something's so silly.

Just a small mistake.

Oh my God, I'm so dumb.

Or you thought there was a YouTube channel dedicated to jet skis

landing.

I love this.

A work colleague asked someone to text him immediately.

Why the house he was designing wasn't on Google Maps.

Doesn't exist yet, mate.

Wait, this is an architect.

God, I'm just trying to show you it on Google Maps.

You probably take it off from it that stage.

We haven't made it yet.

You haven't made it.

Hasn't been built yet, sir.

So there you go.

OK, I'll 800 dials it in.

We want to take your calls.

You can text through 9 6 9 6.

I want to share those moments where you just thought to yourself,

oh my God, I'm so dumb.

We want to know the moment where you just thought, oh my God,

I'm so dumb.

Just those moments where you just catch yourself being real thick.

Some people call them blonde moments.

Yeah.

You know, being blonde, because there was a guy on the chase

who just answered one of the easiest questions.

So, so wrong.

And what was the question again?

The question was that a YouTube channel called Big Jets

watches the landings of what type of vehicles.

And he said jet skis.

The answer is jets or planes.

I do love watching a plane in like a Wellington windy day.

These ones.

When they come in that way.

Yeah.

When they come in like with its shoulder forward.

A little side.

And then they kind of cram on to the, yeah, that's good stuff.

It's not jets.

But there's people watching those to watch a crash, right?

We sort of want it to fail.

That's what they want to crash, right?

Is it what gets people off on those channels?

We sort of want it to fail.

I don't think people all want to see a plane full of people.

No, I know.

You just want to see how close it comes to it.

And be glad you weren't on that one.

That's morbid, right?

That's a bit weird.

It's a morbid fascination.

I want them to nearly die.

But not die.

Not die?

Yeah, obviously not.

Nearly die.

So some calls.

Anonymous, good morning.

What was your, can't believe I'm the star moment.

Good morning, everyone.

Yeah, I was working at university,

which actually makes this even worse.

Because one would think you had a little degree of intelligence.

But clearly not.

I, we had to park in changes and restrictions

meant we had to find all day parking a bit further out.

So it just added to my walk in the uni.

And I found a fence, which if I climbed it

and threw my bag over, I could sort of access the buildings

I needed to a little bit quicker.

So for a week, I was parking in the same spot

and throwing my bag over, climbing myself up and over.

And imagine that people were able to see this.

And then a week later, I drove past

and about five meters up on the bench,

there was a pathway in.

Oh my God, fantastic.

Good stuff, good stuff.

Your scaling of fence.

With it, yep.

I love that.

I guess it's just a bit of morning exercise, isn't it?

A bit of parkour, a bit of parkour.

Recently, since being into health and physical education,

I felt I was living, you know, the lifestyle.

Yeah.

Why walk through a gas in the wall

when you can go straight over it.

I love that.

Anonymous, thank you.

Claire, what was your moment

where you couldn't believe you were that dumb?

Morning.

So yesterday, I came home from work.

I pulled into my park, turned my car off,

and it wouldn't turn off.

And the radio kept playing and the lights were still on.

And I was getting really stressed.

I was quite worried, like, oh, what's happened to my car?

So I called my brother.

So my car won't turn off.

What do I do?

Is that, have you checked that it's in park?

It was in reverse still.

It won't let you do it, will it?

I've done that when I've been driving someone's car

or rental.

And you're like pushing it off.

But I don't know, trying to turn off the key.

And you're like, oh my god, I'll just leave you running all day there.

And it's still in drive.

You're just like, oh, OK.

Or when you try to start again.

And I was quiet up seat as well.

And he's probably like, oh my goodness, you're dumb.

Yeah.

I once did this.

I had to drive a car and get gas in it for my dad.

It was an hour car.

It was a repossessed car, OK?

He used to have a finance company.

Anyway, pay bills.

Wow.

I was driving it down to the petrol station

before we were taken off.

And I got to the lights, and I stopped it,

and then it would not start.

So I abandoned it.

I put the hazard lights on, ran up the road back to the office.

I was like, the car is in the light.

And I got there, and I just put the foot handbrake down.

And I couldn't.

It was it.

And I literally just stopped traffic for about 10 minutes.

So I feel you there, man.

And you get in such a panic.

Yeah, Claire, thank you.

Some messages in.

OK.

Are people dumb?

My sister thought the temperature gauge

on the dashboard of a car.

Yeah, because of the, it looks like waves.

It looks like a buoy.

She thought it was indicating how close to the ocean you were.

That's good.

Hey, driver, close to the beach.

And my other sister, who liked to tease her about that,

had to stop teasing her about that when she put a plastic chopping

board in the oven as an oven tray.

Oh, no.

OK, not the smartest by the sounds of it.

I grew up in a small town, and I thought Polytech

was a technical school for Polynesians only.

Man, I'd love to go to Polytech.

Unfortunately, 100% white.

Wow.

Is that why they've called them institutes now?

Maybe.

To remove the confusion.

Don't have to be Polynesian to go here.

Went to the football club prize giving on Saturday night,

and our team's nominated fancy dress,

hopped in the car to drive home sober, turned the lights on.

I was like, those aren't working, right?

Got out, and I was like, oh, those aren't up right.

Tried the high beam.

That was dim as well.

And then I realized I had sunglasses on.

And sober.

Wow.

Stray glasses on.

Everything actually is a bit dim.

And sober.

I was an airline onboard manager en route to Australia.

And once I, as the door shut, I said, welcome aboard.

We are bound for Austria.

And people were like, oh, we're in a wrong flight.

And I was like, and then everybody said a panicking,

and I had said the wrong country entirely.

It's Australia.

I mean, close enough.

Close, though.

Yeah.

Close, though.

I text my friend asking if 900 grams was less than one kilogram.

What was it, the supermarket?

She lives for the chance to tell people this,

so I'm just going to tell you now.

Who?

I wasn't one of us that we were talking the other day

about the fact that a kg and a litre is the same heaviness.

It's the same weight.

It's the same weight, yeah.

I was trying to explain to someone, they were like,

how do you translate mill to milligrams?

And I was like, you don't need to.

It's the same.

It's the same, mill to milligrams, yeah.

They were today years old when they learned that.

I'm 26 years old.

Yesterday, after calling it lion dancing,

I learned that it was lion dancing

because people stand in a line while they do the dancing.

Yeah.

Someone said they felt pretty stupid yesterday

looking at FVH Facebook page and discovering

that orphans weren't real.

Sorry, they.

I saw them.

I don't know what you're saying.

They were definitely real.

But they are real.

They're unfortunately very real today.

They're incredibly real.

They're out of pie for jobs.

I thought, OK.

Yeah, right.

Because you're not going to look after them.

So they're pretty stupid.

No.

Do you vote the same as your partner?

We're talking parties.

We're talking politics.

We were discussing this at the weekend

because our friends are Mike and Matt.

They are the complete opposite.

Like the opposite.

The opposite voting spectrums.

It's interesting.

We're not like hard out extreme, far, right or left.

Yeah, we don't, we don't.

Well, I suppose we do.

But I don't know.

I've always had the same politics

as the majority of my friends.

Yeah.

And I've always been surprised when I meet friends

that vote differently than me.

I'm always like, what?

Interesting.

How interesting.

Aaron and I vote the same.

Always have.

Yeah.

You and Shadee discuss that?

Yeah, we do.

Especially in a year, we're like, you know,

everyone's like, this year's quite murky.

So it's sometimes it's not so clear cut.

Yeah, we discuss it, but we don't.

Not in depth.

Previously, we voted the same.

I feel like the selection might be the first.

Really?

Really.

Interesting.

Do you vote the same as your partner?

Do you and Major Murray, sorry.

You and Major Murray vote the same?

Yeah, well, he does.

Yeah, yeah, he does.

He's actually quite right-wing.

He's that nice.

I can't believe it.

He sees some racist stuff.

That's what happens when you're British, short hair.

Yes.

That's our friend Mike's getting a plug-in

for his political party.

Mike, there's no political parties being mentioned here.

We're simply talking about exercising our democratic right

to vote.

He's allowed to vote for whoever he wants.

That's his right.

He's our friend, but he votes completely different to us.

Yeah, totally.

That's interesting.

Do you vote the same as your partner?

41% of people said yes, 36% only just behind.

Say no, and 22% don't know.

Don't discuss politics.

Isn't it weird that you could be with someone

and not know where they stand politically?

I guess a lot of people would just be like,

maybe they're just very quiet.

It's not a huge part of their life politics.

But it does affect everybody.

I know.

Would they be able to break it if someone

was completely opposite to you on the political spectrum?

It'd be pretty hard.

It'll be a little bit hard.

How about this?

I've got friends that are, and it's fine.

Wait, how hot are they?

Yeah, I know.

Like if, you know, if Jason Momore and I found it,

he was like a Trump voter.

You know, I'd be like, what?

I'm finding that hard to reconcile.

I feel like he would have been.

I feel like he'd have energy.

Oh, he does know.

He outwardly doesn't have that energy.

But make an exception.

Ashley Messagedin saying my partner and I vote differently.

He works in the private sector and I work in public health care.

Now, wouldn't you, if your partner worked in public health care,

hear all the stories about what happens in public health care,

doesn't get enough money.

So you would be like, well, that's terrible

that you're dealing with that.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, in the private sector,

you see people with tons of money and you're like,

how much more do they need?

Yeah.

I don't know.

That's just my thoughts.

That might be hard to reconcile.

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe you just don't.

This is one of the no-go.

Her profile picture is then married.

So they're on the beach.

They're married.

Haley says, yes, but it was only after we voted

that we said who we voted for and it was the same.

To each their own, if it was different, it wouldn't have mattered.

Yeah, right.

OK.

So that's an interesting take on it.

Courtney says, no, despite my best efforts,

we are not voting for the same people.

Wow.

Really?

I made my husband vote today.

I don't get who he votes for, but because he

does zero research and doesn't care,

he asks how I vote and then just copied what I did,

apparently.

That's how it used to work back in the day.

That's a role reversal, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Wait, the man blindly voting for her is

why he voted for us, the role reversal of how it used to work.

If you and your partner are voting for the main parties,

a different main party each, are you just cancelling each other

out so you just don't bother voting?

No, you still have to.

Someone said, why that's not the case.

Is it an MMP thing?

It's also an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm,

which is very funny.

He's waiting in line, a long line.

And he's like, well, if we're voting for different parties,

why don't we just both leave?

Yeah, yeah, and then it just doesn't matter.

Renee said, because we discuss it and always agree.

So we must be voting for the same people.

I feel that voting is a private matter

and it shouldn't influence somebody's vote based

on what I think, said Shayla.

Private.

Imagine if everybody had this opinion.

Imagine the world.

If everybody was like, it was up to you.

What I feel and believe is that I must vote for the main,

and I won't force it on you.

Yeah, interesting.

Yeah.

Imagine that.

Ash, we vote completely differently,

but it's not a deal breaker.

It just leads to very robust and heated conversation

slash debates.

Oh, see, I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

I'm a journalist, so I have to understand

all sides of the political spectrum,

but my partner doesn't have a political bone in his body.

So if I try to inform him, it comes off

like I'm nagging or preaching, and it honestly is easier

to just avoid the subject altogether.

Yeah, right.

So you just don't say.

Yeah.

Tiana says a bloody hope so, but she hasn't asked.

So she.

She's a donna.

Yeah, so she might have to.

Isn't it just a lie?

You can do because hearing from that,

there's a few people that are just like, oh, we don't really know.

Well, it's a bit complicated.

Do the political compass.

Just Google political.

The vote compass.

Yeah, you can go on and then ask you a bunch

of bunch of questions about things that matter to you.

And then it tells you the parties that you most.

And then it's right.

Align with at the end of it.

If you look at the party, you're recommended to vote for.

And you're like, oh, no, that's bullshit.

I don't like them.

Then I mean, you'd already made your decision.

There's some research.

Yeah, the biggest issue and we have talked about this before

is you do not get a sticker when voting.

So don't expect one this weekend

because they've got rid of the stickers.

Unless they let over from last election.

Yeah.

And you're electorate.

But otherwise they're not doing stickers.

I did see comedian Chris Parker ripped off the bar code

off a bag of carrots and chucked that on and then wrote

I voted on it.

So you can make your own.

You can make your own.

Or go donate blood because you get a sticker for doing that.

You get a sticker for that.

You didn't have a chance to book it.

19 minutes away from 8.

Up next, Nass is going to be looking pretty swish soon.

So in 2025, the Artemis 3 moon mission

is set to be the first moon landing mission since 1971.

So have we not been on the moon since the 70s?

No, man.

Why not?

Because I think we were like done that.

Or some people say it was because of the lease on the studio

where we filmed it.

Yeah, man.

No, humanity hasn't been back.

We've seen like the Japanese did that.

A little Rovers.

Yeah.

Did they do one that went around the moon and took photos?

We've sent the odd thing up there.

We crashed pretty close to getting some moon stuff happening.

Russia crashed into it recently.

China also had a bombastic moon mission.

Yeah.

Well, they did call them their moon rocket shaggy.

Yeah, yeah.

And as it swung, it went, Mr. Bombastic.

And then Mr. Lover Lover.

Lover.

Mr. Luna Lover.

They call me Mr. Bombastic.

So I, excuse my naivety.

I just, I don't think I quite realized that,

that we hadn't been back since 1971.

So in 2000 and 25, the Artemis III moon mission

is aiming to land the first woman and first person of color

on the surface of the moon.

And they're going to look pretty hot doing it,

because Prada is set to design the.

Wait, no, they're not setting a gay.

Oh, you better hope.

Hopefully the woman, all the person of color is gay.

What if the woman is the person of color is also gay?

Oh my God.

Holy shit.

That is iconic.

Somebody check your conservatives,

because they will be losing their mind.

There's a black gay woman on the moon.

They're going to be beside themselves.

So Prada is going to be designing the suits

that they'll be wearing.

They're collaborating with Axiom Space

to design and develop NASA's next generation

lunar space suits.

Because do you remember the SpaceX suits?

They look pretty futuristic.

So do you think that's why NASA are like,

we better up our game here?

Because Elon Musk and SpaceX are.

Can look as futuristic as you like,

but they've got a very specific purpose to serve.

Yeah.

You know, I don't care who's designing them.

Louis Vuitton.

Yeah, but Prada's all about.

Louis Vuitton.

As long as it's doing the job,

I don't think the astronauts would care, would they?

Well, Prada's very famous for its sunglasses

and its handbag.

So you'd hope that suit have a lovely clutch.

Well, this first female black lesbian astronaut

will have to have a handbag.

She'll have to have a handbag.

That's part of that's why they haven't had women on the moon.

Why is she's got a backpack?

She's taking the ute.

She's got a satchel.

She's just going to leave it on the ute.

No, like a festival satchel with a couple of baggies in it.

Yeah, no baggies across the front of it.

Well, Prada can design her festival satchel.

Oh, we've got a Texan from a black gay woman

who would love to go to the moon,

as long as she gets to keep the Prada clothes at the end.

Absolutely, you can.

I mean, that's right.

That's your right.

You're in it.

You're a national.

Absolutely.

So obviously, like it's not because they're going,

Prada is very advanced in their science

and they look at different materials they use.

They ask.

Who knew?

It's not just about jackets and handbags.

Starling.

So they're collaborating.

They're going to make the suit look bloody good.

I bet shoulder pads will be in there

because they're big on a blazer.

Prada.

Yeah, big on a blazer and a hat.

OK.

Have they got any history of doing anything other than?

No, but it's not the first time

so other luxury brands have done this before.

Really?

Yeah, I was just reading before.

I can't find who it was.

But, you know, other big fashion houses.

Balenciaga, coach, and here in Preston

have recently collaborated with NASA on different collections

for space travel.

And now Prada is going beyond design.

So they're designing but also using Prada's technical expertise

with raw materials, manufacturing, manufacturing

techniques, and innovative design concepts

to bring advanced technology.

Because what was the original story when, like,

they needed a female astronaut suit?

They just made some really weird adjustment to a male's one.

Right.

I can't remember what it was.

Did they take the sleeve out from the crotch?

I think they just literally, like, let it seam out

around the bust or just made it slightly.

They were just like, they're perfect.

I can't wait for the.

Shut your boobs in there and get up and do the moon.

I can't wait for the Instagram jokes.

The knock-offs.

Oh, my God, the Prada.

I know from the Hong Kong ladies' markets.

We can go out.

We can go out on a Friday night in an astronauts.

Do you have the Prada Artemis 3 Moon mission suit?

Oh, yeah.

It's not Prada.

It's Smarter.

Yeah.

Play Zodiacs, Fletch, Vaughan, and Haley.

We have just brought Afternoon's Bloody Georgia in here.

Hello.

You're the first teacher.

You've really worn that.

You've adjusted the microphone while it's on.

It's stiff, man.

I beg your pardon.

You can't say that.

Now, there is a bottomless brunch venue in San Francisco,

I believe.

Yes.

And they have released a notice to the public

into their punters that says, dear all mimosa lovers,

I identify as such.

I would agree with all of us in this room.

I also identify as a mimosa lover.

I always say, hold the orange juice, though.

Dear all mimosa lovers.

That's just a prosecco, hon.

Well, if we're drinking in the mornings,

oh, I just have a breakfast beer.

Yeah, there you go.

Like a calciniere again, sort of a substantial meal.

Please drink responsibly and know your limits.

A $50 cleaning fee will now automatically

include in your tap when you throw up in the public areas.

I couldn't agree more.

If you can't control yourself in a public area

and you vomit publicly, you should 100% have to pay.

Oh, I'd like to pay a cleaning fee.

Speaking like you've never vomited somewhere.

And not for a very, very, very, very, very long time.

But you have.

I would have paid the cleaning fee to Hood Street and Hamilton

in the winter and the Christmas season of 2003

when I vomited Purple Gowanas all over a bunch of cars.

Yes, sir, I would have, because it may have taught me a lesson.

Yes, I spewed on cars, sir.

You pretty much saved me for the gutter,

but I tripped and I project I vomited on the car.

So I said to everybody in the producers booth,

has anybody vomited after a bottomless branch?

And the only person to raise their hand was Georgia Burt.

Don't start the Christchurch thing with me,

but I will say we all do it.

Who hasn't?

I haven't.

And I've drunk tons at a bottomless branch.

I witnessed somebody mid or early afternoon.

Yeah, like a 12.30.

On a table.

Oh, I've never done it on the table.

Pretty much everybody on this branch.

We should fast off have some cleanup vomit.

That's not in the job description.

No, but you're going most logical people.

You see pretty much every bottomless branch.

Every time.

Most logical people just go to the bathroom.

No, it makes sense.

And it wouldn't have a tactical spuse.

A tactic.

No, I can't.

It's not tactical.

It's just like, oh, you've eaten too much.

It's an urgency.

Oh, it's eaten too much.

Oh, sorry, bartenders.

I've actually just eaten too much of this tiny breakfast

you've given me.

A tiny breakfast.

How do you, like, if I vom or most people vom

at the end of the night for them, right?

You're too gone to, how are you getting a $50 fee out of them?

Oh, just the table will have to cover it.

Your mates will have to get it.

Right, OK.

No, I've never thrown up at a bottomless branch.

I've absolutely.

Just go home.

Ruin the day's starting one.

You can carry on, though, because if you get out there,

sometimes it just sits in the genie tower.

And you've just got to get it out, and then you can carry on.

Where are you from again?

Christia.

Yeah.

Oh, man, that's shocking.

You just make mints in your bags, guys, or a toothbrush.

What do you put a mints in your bag for?

So then you keep it fresh.

Oh, I think you mean you wanted to make some rissot on side.

Yeah, I was like, we're not even going to find a homemade.

Yeah, well, you're going to make patties to get yourself

through this over-drinking you've done in the morning.

Well, it's for when I go to the BYO, lady, and I have BYO mints.

This bit bringing mints to a BYO, cook it.

Well, look, it's a fee that's been introduced overseas

at bottomless branches, but, I mean, it could catch on.

It's hardly a matter of time.

I'll go and record.

I think bottomless branches are a terrible idea.

I think it's a terrible idea.

It used to be so much fun.

People can't control themselves.

The old boy used to not control themselves.

People cannot be trusted.

100%. So I speak from experience.

People cannot be trusted in bottomless branches

that are a terrible idea.

A terrible idea.

So in the day, we're going to drink right there.

Well, we will say drink responsibly, please.

Of course.

And for every woman vomiting, there's a guy who's going to be like,

Jesus, you know, I'll come and pick you up.

Because you've ruined my day.

I'm dragging, so.

Play ZDM.

Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name.

We welcome Courtney to Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name.

Good morning, Courtney.

Good morning, guys. How are you?

Really good.

Really top notch, thank you.

Nice, nice.

I'm glad that the Alps are back for Christmas, if I ask.

They're not Alps, they're orphans.

Oh, sorry.

I'm not although, to be honest.

Maybe there's room for some Christmas Alps.

No, don't encourage.

Don't encourage.

Courtney, do not encourage your orphans.

No, not orphans.

The orphans, I told you, they are getting a job.

They're out getting a job today.

But they don't, they talk like this.

What?

They're talking like this.

My Alph was going to be.

My just hello, Mr. Fletcher.

No.

All right, Courtney, Vaughan's going to ask you five questions

about your mum and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name.

Fabulous.

Courtney, can you hum with me, please?

You start humming, I'm going to tune,

and that's going to be our psychic forwarding.

Okay, you can go hold one note humming.

Yep, go.

And we're good.

We're good, we're connected.

What are mum's siblings' names?

Oh, Dean and.

Padami, Padami, Padami.

Dean.

Dean and Murray.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Sharon, her name's Sharon.

I'm telling you.

Sharon.

A Sharon.

We're going to ask her.

Classic.

We're going to Linda.

We got Sharon.

We got Karen.

You've got to have a genetic genetic genetic.

We got Christine.

Tina, Tina, Tina.

Tina, same, same vintage.

Tina, great vintage there.

We've got Sandra.

Sandra.

Yeah, Sandra.

Oh, you're Sandy.

Joe.

Yep.

Joe Murray and who was it?

Joe Murray and Dean.

Yeah.

All right.

We're going to Deb.

We've got Deb and Dean and we've got Ange.

She's Ange.

Oh.

Lynn.

Do I have a Lynn?

I've got Linda.

I'm going to go to Lynn as well.

I want to hedge my Linda bets.

Tina.

I'm going to say Tina.

We've got a Maria.

Next question.

Lots for question one.

Oh, yeah.

That got a lot of good names.

How many bedrooms is mum's house?

Oh.

Why does that matter?

Shut up.

It's connected.

It's a policy.

Sorry.

I'm trying to concentrate.

Can you hum again?

Because Fletch broke our connection with negativity.

Okay.

Go.

You go.

Yep.

We're back.

Okay.

Connected again.

How many bedrooms is the house?

Well, we can sleep for.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, that's lovely.

Big spacious house.

All the kids have all moved out, haven't they?

I think.

What's she feeling there?

Wait.

No, we don't know that all the kids have moved out.

Oh, yeah.

Tough times.

Kids are living at home for longer than ever.

True.

Are they empty rooms, Courtney?

Yeah.

All of them are empty.

Okay.

You said that you can sleep in.

Is there one room that's for crafts?

Oh, it's like the study, but it's going to pull out beds.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

So in time, you know, if someone brings it.

It's four and a half bedroom house.

Courtney, this isn't one of the questions.

But if you bought a partner home,

were they allowed to sleep in the same bed

as you ordered?

Even as an adult, they had to sleep in a different room,

because that always corrects me up.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

My partner could have slept in my bed.

Okay.

Wow.

So he didn't?

No, no, no, no, no.

I had the whole downstairs for myself.

Oh, wow.

Did you?

I bet some absolute shenanigans went on down there.

Oh, I can tell Courtney's had shenanigans.

Next question.

No, I'm ready.

I'm sorry.

I've got a Barbara, I've got a Tracy.

I've got a Pam, I've got a Diane.

Oh, Diane was pouring into my head, too.

It was bouncing around the array.

Because Diane had a four bedroom house in Eastport.

Did she?

Three.

My next question.

What age is mom?

Oh, um, 62?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

To my mom.

She's 62.

Yep.

So I might put a Patsy.

Chuck Patsy on there.

Yeah.

Patsy doesn't have four bedrooms, though.

So that, you know.

How many bedrooms is Patsy currently rocking?

Three bedroom, two bathroom?

Oh, she's got two houses.

So it's sort of, yeah.

That's hard.

It depends if we're talking about Italy darling.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, the two houses includes the Italian villa.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

Good tonight.

That's good tonight.

Okay.

Next question.

What chore does she hate?

You know how mums have always got a chore they hate?

My mum hates cleaning the windows.

Hates it.

Oh, I don't actually know.

I think mum quite likes doing the chores.

She's a chore.

She's a chore girl.

Yeah.

She's got to, um, say they routine gets up.

Just the vacuuming.

Just the bathrooms.

Cook all that jazz.

I was going to say Jane,

but you wouldn't have Jane and Dan.

Just when she cleans the bathroom,

does she use a, just like a Clorox wipe?

Or does she have a spray and wipe and a reusable?

Oh, no, no, no.

She's got a bucket.

She takes around a little cleaning product.

Yeah.

She's got a bucket.

Okay.

So she's an organized mum.

She's a chore and a cleaner.

She's a chore girl.

Thanks.

She's got a brandy energy to be honest.

Oh, lay.

She's got a brandy energy.

I was going to take a left turn there,

but put it on the sheet.

Okay.

Um, have I had a Vicky?

That's giving me a bit of a Vicky vibe.

Okay.

Um, Anne.

We have an Anne.

Checked in.

Anne.

Got an Anne.

She might go on Anne.

Don't want to be caught short on that.

Okay.

And fifth question.

Have you had a serious discussion

with your mother about death?

Oh.

Yes.

Are you the executor?

He was at a funeral.

Are you the executor?

No.

I think they're well as like before I was born,

so I don't think I need to update that.

Oh, shoot.

Yeah, I know.

Because Vaughn and I are executors,

because we're the favourite children.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am too now.

Are you too?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Me and mum have discussed.

I think I'll be in charge of the finance stuff,

unless they're still being in charge

of like the medical stuff.

My mum wants me to biffed raw dog into the hole.

My mum won't tell me what she wants at a funeral

because she said I won't be here,

but as long as I'm still the one

that has to smother her with a pillow.

Oh, you've got to end it.

Yeah, yeah.

We had that chat again the other day.

Oh, really?

Yeah, okay.

Is there something you want to tell me?

And she's like, no, I just want to know

that you'll do it.

Wait, she wants to know it's coming.

I don't think I'd want to know it's coming.

No, no, no, no, no.

She doesn't want to know it's coming,

but she wants to know that I'm not going

to check it out.

Oh, okay, right.

You won't.

You'll be all right.

There's no way.

No.

No way.

Please.

Our name is it giving you.

Glenda I my put a Christian because

it's challenge.

I might put my mother-in-law's name, too,

because I've discussed smothering

her with the pillow against her will.

Um.

Dineese.

Okay.

Now I think I've got so many bloody

names.

Really little off concern.

Well, Courtney let's test how ви

horn watch connection is because he

now has 15 seconds to try and guess

the Same.

If you hear your mom's name element

Stop, that's my mum's name.

Your time, Vaughn, starts now.

Linda Sharon, can't read that.

I'm Jeanette, Tina, Sandra, Jo, Deb, Angelinette,

Maria, Barbara, Tracy, Diane, Pam, Nicola, Pat.

That's my mum's name.

Which one, which one?

Diane!

Got four bedrooms.

Diane's got four bedrooms.

You know a Diane with four bedrooms.

Oh my God.

Wow.

Oh, Vaughn has done it again.

It's like a hum, it's like a hum.

It's a hum, it's like a hum.

Yeah, we can't count.

That's the connect, Diane.

I'd like to know the stats,

and we should go back and count

all of the times we've done this this year,

because you must be over 90%.

You've got a real ability this year.

We don't know there's much, maybe that's the key.

Quality over quantity.

Were we juicing you last year a little bit?

Yeah, so maybe you had rung me out.

Yeah.

Well, you've triggered the bonus round.

The bonus round!

Well, you were on the phone,

I'll have her go and guess in your dad's name.

You've already won $100, Courtney,

but if Vaughn can guess your dad's name, just one guess.

You know, I'm not getting a usual Beatles vibe off this one.

It can't be Jack, though.

Jack and Diane.

I don't feel like it's a John and...

John and Diane.

Oh, John and Diane.

That sounds good.

John and Diane.

I'm with you, though.

Paul, it's not Paul.

Or do you go a bit left and go Terri and Diane?

Terri and Diane, it could be a Terri and a Diane.

Could be a Terri and a Diane.

Could be...

Steven and Diane.

Brian?

I've got a hot vibe on the last part of the alphabet.

Oh, really?

Really?

Diane's taken the front half.

What about William, Willie?

Billy.

Willie and Diane.

No.

William, Will and Wayne.

Wayne and Diane.

William and...

Oh, bloody Courtney.

Wayne and Diane's daughter.

Say no more.

You reckon it's Wayne?

Yeah.

OK, we're going to lock in Wayne Courtney.

What is your dad's name?

My dad's name is Wayne.

No, it's not.

I'm going to smash a glass with good luck.

No, it is not.

It's not, though.

What is your dad's name for real?

No, his name is Wayne.

I...

No!

We get confirmation from the producers.

Is that the name?

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.

How did you do that?

William and Wayne.

When will you?

Foul William.

Foul that...

Foul the last one over there.

I don't know, have we had a Wayne before?

Every time this happens, people say it's rigged.

It's not.

That is insane to witness.

Oh, my God.

Are you surreal?

Yeah, yeah, his nickname is Wayne-O

or his female name, like I like to call him, is Wanda.

Wanda, Wanda.

Producer.

It works so well.

Producers, you did lock that name in.

I did.

It's Wayne.

He's done it, he's done it.

Wow.

Woo!

Amazing, the psychic of it.

It was the only way we put a lot on...

I think Courtney was giving me the right amount of energy there.

It's getting a good vibration on Courtney.

It was the hum.

Well, you've won an extra $100 because...

Oh, my God.

...more than it gets the dad's name.

Congratulations.

Two hundred.

Amazing things, hey?

And I love to Wayne and Diane.

I love to Wayne and Diane.

Absolutely.

Awesome.

Play.

Zidem's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Oh, my God.

I think I just shut Vote Composite on the last page.

Aww.

I'll never know who to vote for now!

Aww.

I'll just actually shut it to Google how old when Catherine the Great, Catherine the

Second in Russia.

You might be thinking, Vaughan, I thought it was roller coaster week.

It is roller coaster week.

It can't bail out on it.

Because somebody messaged me saying, have you heard of the Russian mountain?

The Russian mountain.

As I say, Splash Mountain.

No, I haven't.

Well, imagine Splash Mountain.

Yeah.

And a Russian cold snap hits and the hydro slide has an ice coating to it.

You have a Russian mountain, which was predated roller coasters, but technically weren't roller

coasters, but technically weren't toboggan tracks, but close, but also technically not

a water slide.

Yeah.

Okay.

Russian mountains.

The first one was opened in the 15th century.

So what is that?

The 1600s.

By the way, this annoys me too.

It annoys me as well.

We shouldn't be saying 21st century when the first two numbers of our century that

we're currently in are 20-0.

I know, but it's...

Because no one says I'm in my 37th year when they're 36.

I know.

No one says that.

It's annoying.

But it is technically correct.

I hate it.

I've gone really good.

18th century is the 1700s.

I hate it.

It confuses me.

And I have to stop down every time I'm saying it to think what's next.

Same.

So we're in the 21st century.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm just massaging my bicep.

I've got a little knot in it.

I'm just digging in.

Aggressively, might I say.

Aggressively rubbing yourself.

I just want to look like you might have...

I'm scratching.

He's rubbing.

We're all over the show.

So the 15th century, 1600s, Russians started building giant wooden slides that had sides

on them.

Yeah.

And then when the winter would start to come, they'd obviously pour a bit of water down

there.

The Russian winters are so cold it would freeze and stay frozen all winter, where then they

would get a block of ice, a thin sheet of ice, so they would put ice on ice and then

sit on top of that ice on some sort of seat and they would ride down these things called

Russian mountains.

Geez, you'd go fast.

50 miles an hour.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So what's that?

Is it 80?

80?

Far out.

Over just over 80.

Helping with the signs on these shoots.

Yes.

Slippery as well.

Yeah.

If you turned your body weight, you go whoop.

It was the old days.

So they were high, but not like...

Not a safety wasn't there.

Safety wasn't there.

Not a high, not a high.

Okay.

So it was very popular amongst the upper class.

Catherine II of Russia, when it got to her, now I just checked, she lived from 1729 to

1796.

Is she the great?

She was the second great.

Oh yeah, she is Catherine the Great.

Okay.

Oh yes, okay.

There was a Catherine before, but this was the first.

Did she have a penchant for...

Oh, is this the one that the TV shows about?

Yeah, Catherine the Great.

That was good.

It is good.

I finished a series and then forgot to start the next one.

Oh, watch it.

Nicholas Holt plays her husband.

I don't like that.

You didn't like it.

I hated it.

Why?

I don't know why I just hated it.

Really?

Yeah, I tried.

Like I gave it a good few episodes.

I think you might be wrong, hon.

Yeah, I know.

Go again.

No, go again.

Once you get used to Nicholas Holt, just being a horrible person.

There were some, definitely some funny lines in it.

Yeah.

Go again.

Maybe I'll give it a bit more.

Go again.

So she loved the Russian mountains so much that when it got to summertime, she wouldn't

have it.

So she had one built for her.

Now, this sounds dangerous if you've ever been on.

You know, if you see in a factory a long list, a long thing of rollers and you just push

a box down and it's just-

Oh my God, like airport security?

Yes.

I always go, pfft.

Yeah, pfft.

Yeah.

Have you ever been, I've been to a couple of parks for kids where they've got one of

those in place of a slide.

Now, maybe kids are lightest so they skim over the top, but my fat bottom got pinched.

Oh, hon.

Yeah, yeah.

This could be dangerous.

So she put in rollers and giant, a giant Russian mountain with rollers.

Okay.

And rolled down it because she said she loved it so much.

So people would come to her house because she was the only one that could afford to

do this.

Yeah.

And she would go down.

Look, I don't, yeah, I look, I don't want to be negative, but it does sound like you've,

on roller coaster week, you've brought in slides and luges and-

Do you know what I'm saying?

Like General Theme Park?

Yeah.

The roller that she had in hers is where we get roller coaster from.

Oh, okay.

Apologies.

No, I don't.

Apologize.

I'm sorry.

Because they would coast down.

Yes.

Okay.

On the rollings.

Oh, roller coaster.

They would coast down.

Yes.

Roller.

And that's why when it spread around and there were these, the rides that predated what

we call roller coasters now, we're called roller coasters, but you were literally just

coasting on some rollers.

Yeah.

I don't know how to make sense.

I've never thought about the name.

How dare you, sir?

I know.

Well, no, sometimes you go off script and I'm just saying it did sound like we were

doing slides.

Yeah.

And then we included some Russian stars and leaders and monarchies.

And then we got to it.

What's your pro-Russian now?

Yeah, what's your stance?

Russia.

Big fat.

Russia of old.

Right.

The Russia of old.

A fascinating country.

Yeah.

A fascinating country.

So today is 15th of the day.

You're telling me you're turning down a 1700s Russian Fabergeegg?

Oh, absolutely not.

I wouldn't.

I'd have a Fabergeegg.

I wouldn't know.

And I'd say to people, check out, have you checked out my Fabergeegg?

Fabergeegg.

And shout out, I would say, stop putting the Fabergeegg out.

It doesn't go with the Scandinavian decor.

It wouldn't.

It's too glittery.

It's too glamoury.

Too much.

It's the next door to the Russians at the same time.

Are they the ones with the other eggs in the middle of them, and then you open that one?

That's a Babushka.

And then there's another egg in there.

That's a Russian nesting doll.

That one.

That's another doll.

And then the last doll's always a bit like...

It's not even a doll.

It's like a little nugget.

It's a nugget.

It's a nugget of wood.

You'd always lose the little nugget.

Yes.

You'd line them up, and then the nugget would fall off over and roll off the table.

It would roll and coast off the table, bringing us back around.

So today's fact of the day is that Russian mountains, well they were called predated

roller coasters, but only worked in the winter.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Play.

Presidents, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

Now I would like to share a story about a couple, because people have gone on their

high horse about it, being like, this is so rude.

So there is a couple that lives next to what they would call a very chatty neighbour, right?

Anytime they see the neighbour, it's like, oh hi, and it's an old mate, old mate Richard.

And he comes out, and he just talks their ears off, and sometimes they can get stuck out

there apparently for up to two hours talking to old mate Richard.

So they've lived there for quite a time now, and they're like, I'm happy to indulge for

a little bit, but when I need to leave this conversation, I want to leave this conversation,

we send each other a text that says, SOS Richard, Richard being the chatty old neighbour.

And then it's the other person's job to come out and be like, oh babe, sorry, hi Richard,

I actually need you, because I'm sorry.

Or Kev's on the phone.

Kev's on the phone.

You know Kev's on the phone.

Or the one that was used in this video they shared was Vivian's clogged the toilet.

And then you see the other kids.

You see the day I go, huh, I'll give Richard a handshake and off he goes, and they're laughing, right?

Yes, SOS Richard.

God, I would build a fence.

I'd build a large fence, or I'd put a hedging.

No, look, Richard, it looks like a sweet old codger, I'll say it.

Yeah.

But then everyone on the line is like, oh, he's old, you know.

But every now and then you just need to leave a conversation.

We had this.

We have good things to do.

Yeah, but things to do, you're always stuck for two hours.

Yeah.

Also, every couple does this.

I know, and it's not odd.

Or friends do it as well.

To like, rescue you out of things.

Oh my God, yeah, like terrible dates.

People do that all the time.

Going like, keeping me out of this.

Just walking up to your wife at a party and loudly saying, I'm ready to go now.

Yours is so unsubtle.

Yeah.

But yours would be.

I am ready to leave.

And I'm sure we'll see this at this massive New Year's bash that he's hosting.

Yours is the sign that you want people to leave as you leave.

You go to bed.

And that's the sign to a leave.

And then four hours.

And then people who were raised by, I'm guessing heathens, don't take the hint.

Don't take the social cue of the host themselves.

So warm though.

Yeah.

You go to bed when you want.

People can carry on.

Put in some earplugs.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

I want to know what is your, like what is the signal or the code that you and your

partner use to help you get out of things?

Right.

To leave parties early.

To leave parties.

Or to just like tell them something.

There needs to be a more discreet way than pulling out your phone.

Yeah.

And like we've all had that.

The message is hard to open a message.

Hold on.

Hold on, Richard.

I'm just sending a message.

Then a couple of minutes later, she's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Exactly.

With your friends or your partners, if you've been friends or with your partner long enough,

you can just look at them.

Yeah.

And know instantly they need help or they don't want to be there.

Always.

Or like, mind of their hands is like, if I don't introduce you, I've forgotten their

name.

I will always introduce you.

Yeah.

And if I don't, it's because I don't know their names.

So just hurry up and introduce yourself.

And then I'll be like, oh my God, of course, you know, Carl.

And then I make sweet.

Yeah.

I'm covered.

Everything's smooth and fine.

Yeah.

Well, give us a call.

I'll add 100 stars at M.

Text through 9, 6, 9, 6.

What is the signal or unspoken code or little sign you give your partner?

To get out of things.

We want to know the unspoken code or signal that you and your partner use when you want

to get out of something, leave somewhere, get out of a conversation.

Remove yourself from an awkward.

So a couple's under fire for doing this with their elderly neighbor, but like every couple

does it.

Yeah.

We want to get stuck talking for two hours.

Shelly, what do you and your partner do?

Oh, we just have a code word, Fijoa.

And what is Fijoa?

It's not a word that can be subtly dropped into conversation though.

Well, that's the thing.

We don't like normally use it in conversation, but you know, your drink could smell like Fijoa

or, you know, we do.

So it's one of those things that we've tried.

We figured out we could drop it into a conversation, but we don't normally something in a week.

So you'd be like, my drink smells like Fijoa.

And he's like, interesting, let's go.

You can be like, I really love that.

I don't know what vodka this is, but I really do love that Fijoa vodka.

Yeah.

The reason is it must be nearly Fijoa season.

That's it.

Yeah.

Fijoa trio.

Any of your friends listening now, though, are like, OK, next time she says Fijoa.

You're blowing your load in here now, Shelly.

Got a new word.

Shelly, thanks.

You're called Jeff.

What do you and your partner do to get out of conversations or parties?

Well, we actually use the name of a guy who was down on his luck back in the day

when we were in youth group.

OK.

What is the name?

His name.

Sorry about this, my friend.

No, don't say his name.

Don't say his name.

I want it now.

I feel bad when you use a man's name and then what your wife knows that it's time to leave.

No, no, no.

So like the code was, if she was kidnapped and I would phone home or there was an axe murderer

running around the garden, you couldn't phone up and then she'd say, oh, there's an axe murderer

or I've been kidnapped.

So she would just say quietly.

The name.

Johnny Mills.

And then.

And then you'd all know that you could call the cops or whatever.

Oh, wait.

So this is a code word for like, I'm in trouble.

This is everything.

Wow.

OK.

This is going to be.

Poor old Johnny Mills.

Poor old Garcy.

He's trying to find happiness.

We're going to youth group.

Yeah, I know.

He's taking solace in the Lord himself.

And these kids are all just like, Jesus, Johnny, buddy, why put that brown up.

So now, mate, you're bringing down youth group.

Jeff, thanks for your call.

Some messages in.

I like that.

Imagine making the walking legs.

So, you know, the yellow page is walking with your fingers.

Yeah.

You do that on your partner's leg under the table.

Oh.

Time for us to do this.

What if you go a bit high on the thigh and they get excited?

Oh, yeah.

Then it's very much time to go.

Then your dad.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

My dad was like saying something that he shouldn't have been saying.

And so my mum did a little like kick under the table.

And my dad just goes, don't kick me.

Kick me.

Okay.

Keep your texts coming in.

9 6 9 6.

I'll 800 diles at M.

What are you and your partner do to get out of a party or escape a conversation?

Is there a code word?

We want to know the signal or the sign or the code word you and your partner share, whether

to get out of a situation or to shut up or leave or anything really.

And some of these are very creative.

Very creative.

It's more of a dance sees a text.

I give a look which he does everything not to look at because he wants to stay.

So it is quite a full blown one.

My workmates text each other hot potato.

And then the person calls them and says, hey, you need to back at the office straight away.

I don't know what you're up to.

So they have to.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

That sounds like getting out of a chat with the old mate, like the original.

Yeah.

Story on this.

Similar to friends want to get out of a date too.

Yeah.

I've just backed over your cat.

You're going to have to come home.

Oh, no.

My partner and I give each other a look and then a nod and then we stand up and shake hands

and we were on our way.

So they shake each other's hands.

No.

Look, nod, stand up, shake hands and then leave.

See, guys, we're off.

They're initiating the sequence.

Yeah.

That's good stuff.

Kids would be a good excuse.

Wouldn't they?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

How many parties did Vaughan get out of?

Oh, the kids are sick.

It's like, no, they're not.

Yeah.

But as many times he does that, he also just brings them and they put up with it.

So I appreciate it.

Yeah.

Yes, they certainly do.

They're giving you all the looks.

Yeah.

They're like, it is time to go.

We want it to go.

You told us.

That will change soon.

You told us.

Yeah.

Well, they can have a bloody beer with us.

We use sign language.

Somebody messaged you.

Oh, wow.

I've been looking up some NZSL on a few different ways to say, like, exit, leave.

That's enough.

That's one of them.

That's a good one.

That's enough.

I think that's just like a challenge.

Like a shopping motion.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's enough.

Get off.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

That's actually a good one to learn too.

Get off.

Get off me.

Get off.

I've had enough.

Get off.

Probably not one I'll ever have to deal with.

I mean, probably learn to read it more than.

Yeah.

Somebody, he says that kids text me code orange.

Yeah.

If they want to come home from somewhere and aren't comfortable telling whoever they're

with, they've got a kid's way of the kids for bailing out on it.

That's quite good too.

Somebody said it's just simply a look.

And when you get that look from your partner, you're like, oh, that's one.

Yeah.

You know.

I like this.

It's not for a party, but we say banana in front of the kids when we think the other

one's being a bit harsh with their parenting.

Instead of saying, like, don't talk to your kids like that.

Well, like, back off.

Just be like, banana.

But how do you do that?

Because then you go, banana.

And then you feel all silly and you're not being too hard on the kids anymore.

Yeah.

I don't know how you work it in.

You'd be like, what?

My mom and dad always say banana to each other.

We talked about bananas a lot as kids.

Bananas were around the house a lot.

How did that make you feel now that you're an adult and you're in intense therapy?

Yeah.

There was this person that just text saying, I text my daughter if she wants groceries.

And she says, yes, noodles if she wants some.

No, that's not a code word.

That's just that your daughter wants a freaking noodles.

She just wants noodles.

Yeah.

Do you want some food?

It's a very simple code.

She's exactly telling you what she wants.

Yeah.

Noodles is my code word.

What does it mean?

It means get me some noodles.

Yeah.

My 10-year-old daughter, now we've completely changed tact under this, but somebody said

my 10-year-old daughter used to say, is the ham toasty ready if when we worked in a cafe,

a hottie came in.

So I'd come in and check it out.

Whoa.

Your code words for hotties.

We ding a bell.

But we also ding the bell.

I don't ding the bell if there are no hotties outside.

Did you see us?

We turned and looked and there was a waste of time.

What was that dog?

Pavlov's dog.

Pavlovian response?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

See?

Yeah, you're the dog.

You're celebrating even at the sound of it.

And then, of course, the last time was the first time there was a multiple ding.

Well, call me Pavlovia.

Shivers, guys.

10 out of 10 podcast, that one.

Yeah.

I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't.

Well, who was that?

We'll just leave that.

We'll just leave that there.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review.

Please don't.

And this is a bad one.

Oh, yeah, don't bother.

Yeah, no, don't bother.

Don't bother.

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