ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley: Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 10th October 2023

NZME 10/9/23 - Episode Page - 1h 21m - PDF Transcript

Transcript
Show Notes

The ZM Podcast Network.

The Flesh Fawn and Haley Big Pod.

Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Mac's rewards.

Good morning.

Welcome to the show, Flesh Fawn and Haley,

three minutes past six.

Mmm.

Happy Tuesday.

Wearing your Goosebumps shirt.

Yep.

Great shirt.

I'm excited.

It's a big day ahead.

You got some spooky adventures playing, do you?

Yeah.

And I'm just going to pick a path.

Goosebumps were in all pick a paths.

No, lots of them were though.

I love pick a paths.

Were they?

Yeah.

Choose your own ending.

It would be like, read the page,

and it would be like, to do this,

go to this page.

And you'd keep a finger on that page,

and you'd go to both options.

Yeah.

And you'd die and you're like, nope.

Nope.

Back to that one.

Yeah.

I don't remember Goosebumps being that.

I just remember them being the books.

Yeah.

Flesh wasn't allowed at that book.

I wasn't allowed at any books.

At any books at Ashton's Scholastic.

Yeah.

The occult.

Yeah.

I love Christians.

There was a lot of satanic panic chat.

Your chance to win this morning with Ad trolley,

it's back thanks to Countdown.

Yesterday, our eight o'clock item,

a Dyson stick vacuum.

Yes, stick.

Some amazing stuff for you to win.

So make sure you're listening at eight o'clock.

We'll give you the items in our trolley

at eight, midday, and four.

If you're the first through at five,

and you can name all of them,

you get to win them all,

everything in that trolley.

So make sure you're listening at eight

for that first item this morning.

Top six on the way.

People are using, is it AI?

With the...

I believe so, and just themselves,

if they're a talented illustrator,

as backlash for not getting an eye-voted sticker.

I keep seeing people, like,

voting overseas are getting the stickers,

like the consulates had some left over.

Yeah, I think they did.

I think 100% they've just been left over from last time.

Because my friend in Melbourne voted yesterday,

sent me a photo, and I was like,

you got a sticker.

Unbelievable.

I know.

It's upsetting.

The sticker.

The backlash is they're sexing up the orange guy.

Yeah, orange mascot.

The election...

What do they call him?

Election man.

Mascot?

Orange man.

Orange guy, eh?

Orange man?

How creative we were with naming him.

But they're sexing him up.

Well, I was like, well, why not?

Let's sex up some other mascots.

So I've got the top six other New Zealand mascots

to do with a little sex up.

Next on the show, though.

There is a couple who are making me a bit icky this morning

with how much time they spend together.

Not me.

Not interested in this lifestyle at all.

This is yuck to me.

This is yuck.

There is a couple called Lauren Nathan.

When they got married,

she wore a pink and blue chill dress,

and he wore a blue tie and a pink waistcoat.

Just painting the picture.

That's who we're dealing with.

I don't even know what they've done yet.

Yeah, I'm just painting the picture.

They've been married for 13 years,

living and working together for longer than that,

and they met when they went on a skiing trip

because her boyfriend knew his girlfriend,

and they were the other ones.

Oh, wait, so they've both got crossover there?

Yeah, but a crossover, though.

Are they partners?

They left to end up together for a little revenge?

No, they didn't.

That would be too clean.

Yeah, it would be too clean.

They got married and spent 24 hours a day together,

seven days a week, never apart.

Proudly codependent, they call themselves.

So even when they're apart,

if they're going to the supermarket

and they're in different aisles,

if one of them wants to check in with each other,

they use a whistle.

Oh, my God, this is sickening.

The other one will come running and find the person who whistled.

They're like, what do you need?

They're like, do we want this cut of steak

or this cut of steak?

And they cannot be apart.

They said it works for them.

No.

Also, you should know if you're going to marry someone

what cut of steak they want.

Don't get married to someone if you're not,

like, well aware of their cut of steak.

You've been with someone for years

and you don't know what they want at the supermarket?

Yeah, what's Chuck?

Will Chuck be all right?

Yeah, we're divorced.

Do they do anything alone?

No, they work together.

They have an office together.

They live together.

They run a vacation business together.

What if one of them needed to go to the doctor?

Would they both go in?

They'll probably go in together.

The only time you'd be apart right

would be when you're doing a poops.

No, I bet they one would talk to the other one

while they were pooping by the sounds of it.

Look, love's beautiful,

but this is just awful.

They're just awful.

Because you need some time apart, right?

Look, Happy, she says,

every now and then I do need to go to the other side

of the house so I can breathe.

My alarm bells are ringing.

She's hating this.

But she said it works for them.

Communication is key.

Oh, does it?

Oh, God, I need space apart.

Sometimes months.

Sometimes just months, you know?

But she said they're no,

they're never at each other's throats.

They just believe they're completely soul mates.

Great friendship.

You know why, though?

It's because they started their relationship in relationships.

Yes, so they're worried that the other one's

going to go and do it again.

Yeah, they don't want either of them out of their sight.

Those people have started a relationship

when they're in relationships,

never fully trust each other.

Yeah, if you're cheating,

and then you end up together.

You're waiting for it to happen again.

That's why she says,

this is this romantic whistle thing.

That's, are you cheating?

Yeah, basically what it 100% becomes.

Screams of insecurity,

but good for you.

Good for you.

Play Zudem's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Now there's some rules.

When one is attending a buffet,

a smorgasbord.

Are there other names for it?

Because smorgasbord is...

Scandy.

Smorgasbord.

Or you can eat.

Yeah, yeah.

Buffet.

They love a smorgasbord in Europe.

The hotels.

Oh, really?

They do, they love it.

I love a smorgasbord.

They used to be way more, and I mean,

even COVID probably put a death nail in a smorgie, eh?

Because of the shearing.

Did you see that article?

It was a microbiologist or whatever last week.

It was everywhere.

It was like, the foods and things I'll never touch.

Smorgasbords.

And one of them was smorgasbords.

I was like, don't smorgasbord smorgasbord.

But they love a smorgasbord.

Why do you touch the smorgasbord?

A breakfast smorgasbord is amazing.

I love a brekkie.

I always call it a breakfast buffet.

I would never call it a breakfast smorgasbord.

I don't know why.

Breakfast buffet.

Because it's just breakfast,

whereas a smorgasbord always has different stations.

Lunch, salads, curries, stir fries, cold cuts.

You always eat way too much.

Desserts.

I had a Christmas buffet once.

When we were in Dargaville,

we went to the Northern Way to a hotel.

They did a good one.

For Christmas.

Oh, just on Christmas.

Just on Christmas Day.

We got a book early if you're in Dargaville,

but I do recommend.

Good Tados.

Oh.

Yeah.

God, I have to eat all these smorgasbords.

It's a beautiful Christmas smorgasbord in Dargaville.

At a Welsh pub,

a Sean who runs the George IV,

one before five, four.

The George IV pub.

The George IV.

He's got a ripper of a buffet.

Now, recently, he received a two-star review.

Not happy about it.

Sort out why he got a two-star review

and what on earth he could possibly improve.

The man said,

I booked a Sunday lunch.

I was very impressed with the quality of food and service.

What's his problem?

Had I known when I booked a table that I wouldn't have booked,

as I don't always eat all of my meal there

and I like to take home a plate.

No, that's not how it works.

They said on the menu they don't do takeaway boxes,

which is fine.

I bought my own plate with me

and it was still a no.

Good food, but this is a let down

and I won't be going back.

He bought a container or a plate.

He says a plate,

but I imagine it would be a clap or a sustain

or something.

That's against the rules of the smorgasbord.

That's not how it works.

If you can't smuggle it out in your purse,

you're not allowed to take it.

If you can't spoon it into mom's purse,

it's not allowed.

I'm looking at you, Valentine's Jelly Beans.

Oh, my God, yes.

Or you might wrap up a little bread roll

with a bit of ham in it.

Yeah, if you're on holiday

and you want something to feed the fish.

Yes.

At the bit you take a few bits of bread

or make yourself a cheeky sandwich

for lunchtime.

Because, you know, the breakfast is included,

but everything else is astronomically priced.

But you don't get to take a little plate away.

You don't know.

That's not how it works.

If I can't leave it in a handbag,

it's not leaving with you.

If it's not leaving in your guts,

it's not leaving.

Yeah.

The hotel.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that's not how the smorgasbord works.

Now I want a smorgasbord.

Yeah.

Good stuff.

Where's a good all you can eat near us?

Dude, there is no better

than eight.

Eight in Auckland.

Yeah.

I don't know about the rest of the country.

We should do that.

We should do one of our maps

of the best smorgasbords in the country.

Oh, my God.

Yes, we should.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Because I'm sure they don't do it anymore,

but the Glenview Tavern in Hamilton.

They have smorgasbord.

When I was a child,

not only did you get the smorgasbord,

you got the entertainment.

Oh, eight in the quarters.

Yeah.

The old Langham.

I see it.

It's not cheap.

But it's flesh.

God damn, if you're doing it,

you're playing out exactly.

There's a chocolate fountain.

And you just, you can put your fingers through it.

You're not meant to put your fingers in it.

Well, you can put your whole hand in it,

technically.

You can put your mouth under it.

You could, like, you know,

get all of my beard.

Round upon.

And that'd be like,

Mr. Smith, if you mouth the fountain again,

I'd be like, I will not stand for these accusations.

They have to turn the fountain off

if you stick your body parts in it.

Oh, yeah.

No fingers in the fountain.

No.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey

from the bustling ZM think tank.

This is the top six.

Hello there, the Electoral.

Electoral.

I've done it again.

Electoral Commission has got rid of the

I voted stickers.

People aren't happy about that.

The Gurleys and the producers

both voted yesterday.

Made Kate Sheppard very proud,

as they said.

Yes.

Voting together, but no stickers.

I voted on Sunday.

I haven't voted yet.

Kate Sheppard would all be very proud of you.

She would be so proud of me, too.

Well, I was just wanting to see

if they were going to come round

with stickers, but...

They're not.

No.

I'm waiting for a...

I'll say it.

I'm waiting for a political party

to really look after the white straight male.

Yeah, actually, there's not enough of that.

They're still OK for himself, you know?

Yeah.

You're right.

We seem to just be...

No, I'm not even going to get into it.

We've done a great job this election season,

dodging the issues.

But they got rid of the I voted stickers,

and people are finding back by online

re-releasing, because I remember seeing

this last election,

sexy, sexy orange election guy.

Oh, yeah.

A voice by none other than David Karaos.

Yes.

No sex in him.

Then I'll say he's eject.

Well, there's one where he...

re-creating the famous Saturday Night Live sketch

with Andy Saban and Justin Timberlake

dicking a box.

Yeah.

He seems to have it inside the voting box.

Oh, wow.

OK, wow.

So really sexing up the mascot.

Yeah, there's a photo from behind

where you get to really see his bots.

Yes, I have voted.

Somebody's made this one.

And they've got a little...

their voting papers covering their...

What I'm guessing is an orange penis.

I mean, just going by the color.

You'd think it would be orange,

but sometimes it can be quite pale.

Or darker than you'd imagine.

Or purple.

Maybe it's purple.

It's got the farmer's tan, doesn't it?

Yeah.

What?

The willy.

Yeah.

It's purple.

Part of it.

It's the end.

Gosh.

It's the end pit.

Anyway, we've got some bloody blood flowing down there.

That might be the more...

that might be the problem.

So, if they're sexing up the orange election guy,

we've got the top six other mascots.

We can sex up next.

Oh, I can think of a few.

No.

Well, we're just waiting.

If there's some that you haven't thought of

at the end of the six,

knock yourself out.

We've been told off.

This is quite a hard top six.

We were told off, weren't we?

Number six on the list.

The stick man.

Pack and save stick man.

Oh, yep.

How do you make that sexy?

Give me the stick.

Well, it's easy.

Just put a little dittle on it.

Oh, just add another stick.

Yeah, but you ever draw a dittle

and some balls on a stick?

Yeah.

And then you just say,

put a ball either side of it.

Yeah.

That'd be a start.

Number five on the list of the top six mascots,

the six up next,

Harold the giraffe.

Oh, okay.

Oh, he's educational.

He can educate my life.

In the back of this caravan

and this truck trailer

that he tows around with no windows.

Have you ever seen a giraffe's tongue?

Get that out for a start.

They're purpley blue, aren't they?

Yeah.

And not just the end.

The whole thing.

Wow.

Number four on the list.

I might not have seen him lately

on the top six mascots,

the six up next,

but whatever happened to that mouse

from the sordid.co.nz ads?

He's financially savvy.

That's sexy.

I think he's retired that mouse

because he was really good

with his money.

Right?

Yeah.

Good with his money,

but he stuck his head in my trap

in the chicken house

and got him.

Yeah.

Got him.

I think it's a massive debt.

I know.

I love when you send them

to the group chat.

Yeah.

What if you muted the group chat?

I'll have to send them to you.

I saw that one.

Yeah.

I caught another one yesterday.

Not as big as the real big fat one

that I caught at the weekend.

That was on a shovel.

Yeah.

You put them on a half shovel

because everybody had one of those

in their house growing up

for the coal and stuff.

Yeah.

Right.

Makes it look bigger.

No, I was going to say

it's just the size everybody's aware of

so they'll know that it's a big rat.

All right.

I think you were trying

to make your rats look bigger.

Yeah.

I just put them

beside my small penis

if I want to do that.

Yeah.

Right.

Check out this penis

I won't do it.

Number three on the list

of the top six mascots

are sex up next.

Mr. Whippy.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

He's a lot on the soft serve.

Yeah.

Lay off the flakes.

We'll get a bit jacked.

Sticking up some fruit.

Stick a flake in my soft serve.

What if he didn't soft serve

and protein powder?

Yeah.

Get jacked, bro.

Get jacked.

Prots, bro.

Number two on the list

of the top six are mascots

are sex up next.

The swan dry swan.

Oh, yeah.

It's just a standard swan.

It is.

Yeah.

Pretty.

Not sexy.

Okay.

How would you,

how would you six set up?

Give the boobies.

Popping out from this little pledge.

What are you doing?

My head is such disgust

of myself.

What are you, 13?

Yeah.

Give us boobies.

And number one on the list

of the top six are mascots

are sex up next.

I'm Greg Grover from Nova.

Oh.

Doesn't need much, does it?

Just joke.

Sexy enough.

Doesn't need much.

Yeah.

Sexy enough.

He's very clean cut

in the Greg Grover from Nova ads.

Yeah.

Because I've noticed

he's had a roll over.

Congratulations.

He's had a roll over.

Thank you very much.

But shorter hair,

very well trimmed beard.

Yeah.

Now when you see him,

he's rugged ads.

He's got the long hair

and the much bigger beard.

Roll over, Greg Grover.

So if you guys have got

any more, you want to chuck

on the pile now.

Feel free.

Knock the south out.

No, you got them.

You got the main one.

They're pretty good.

You said the Sky City one.

Oh, the Sky City.

Okay.

You can just make it purple

on there.

Oh, that's why

you wanted me to say it again.

The Sky Tower.

The Sky Tower guy

just making purple on there.

That's a bit sexy.

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When

when's Nino arriving?

El Nino.

Well, I thought it was

just to be windy

and dry,

but then somebody said

for the North Island,

it just means like

a very active spring.

Yeah, it means

you could have days

of a lot of wind

and rain,

but then you could have

like really nice days.

Will 2023

be a hot summer?

Well,

I don't know.

Will 2023

be a hot summer?

Yeah.

It will be.

I'm ready for it,

is what I'm saying.

I'm wearing jeans today.

I just,

I looked at my Birkenstocks

and I was like,

when's your time?

Yeah.

I've had them out once.

It was nice.

Yeah.

I don't want to see

my Birkenstocks in the hall.

I'm like,

I want to wear you so bad.

Yeah.

Well, apparently

this is,

this comes from Australia,

but we tend to take

a lot of trends from Australia.

Yeah.

But,

this summer is

Here A Girl Summer.

Okay.

Which is just

the summer of

Leonard All,

Bush Out,

Bush Up,

Bro.

When did we last have

a Here A Girl Summer?

God,

I can't remember.

It's the 1970s.

Do you know what?

Yesterday,

I was sent

a link to a story

where it was actually

1979

when Alien came out,

you know the movie

Alien,

the Sigourney Weaver.

So,

in that,

there's this very famous scene

where she's standing there

and like her undies

in this white singlet,

this white tank top.

Oh, yeah.

It's a very famous scene.

Now Ridley Scott,

I didn't know this,

but in the director's commentary,

Ridley Scott said

she refused to pull up

her undies

or shave her pubes at all.

It didn't test well

with audiences.

We had to pay someone

in 1979,

something like $5,000

to airbrush out

all of her pubic air

in every single

sell of the film.

It took them weeks.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow.

Because each second

of a frame

is what,

there are 24 frames a second.

Yeah.

And film back then.

Back then.

Back then there would have been.

So, someone had to go through and

every...

Each second, remove her pubes.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

So, man, was that

Hero Girl Summer?

Well, no,

because they removed her pubes.

Whereas now they're going,

nah, just disembrace it.

Ditching the razors,

embracing the Hero Girl Summer.

Yeah.

I mean,

there's no need for the frantic,

you know, you get the phone call

being like,

do you want to go to the beach?

Yeah.

Because they do that

now, I think,

on a lot of film sets,

because so many people just

laser it all off.

Yeah.

And then if they do,

you know,

if they're doing bloody pride

and prejudice.

Well,

Glitch,

G景,

Glitch,

Hey, I don't have any commentary. If you want to let it all hang out you go. Yeah, you do you you do you hon

I'll be in my

tummy to knee board shorts

And a rash top, but you do you hon

Silly little poll today does your partner know your passwords and pen

Most of them. I think I know most of Aaron's

You know all of yours. Yeah, right. Do you not change out passwords for different websites? Do you use the same one? No, I changed them up

Of course, I changed them up. There would be such a security breach

Well

77% of people say their partners know their passwords and they've been 23% said no

Do you know what do you reckon that's because they're new?

The people that answered that are new to the relationship and it's too soon

Yeah, to give you a Gmail password to your girlfriend or your boyfriend like what do you think?

Well, they just do not want people in on their stuff. Don't know

My laptop the other day and then he texts me and was like I just saw an email pop up from

Someone we both knew and so I hit it. I was reading it and I was like

Excuse me

Just was sort of saw an email and was like that looks interesting. This had a little read. I

Got no secret. There's nothing. Yeah. Yeah

I don't receive any emails of any great building thing like with a house thing. All right, so that's where he was like

That's his area of expertise expertise as well

Yeah, maybe maybe change your password

from my lover, you know

Jess I wasn't laughing at the concept of me taking a lover

I laughed and then I dragged it on for a couple of extra. It's cuz I was just it had an error of you wish it did

Apologize for that. Thank you. I know you could take a lover. Thank you

I'm not I'm not saying that be much probably a bit junk to be honest. Sorry

If you were to take a lover, I take a very handsome lover. Thank you. I think so. I think you're pretty rushing to it and get a minger

I would I'd panic wouldn't I

Love and you pull the ripcord and you end up with a minger of a parachute rather than waiting for the thrill of a

You know a low altitude

Exactly I need you to calm down if you're gonna take a lover

Wait wait for the right lover to take

Jess who I don't know if where she's at I'm taking a lover probably pull the ripcord early ended up with a minger too

She said honestly just because it's convenient

So they know the pin. Yeah, they know everything. Ah, yep. We have the same ones says Sarah

So they've got to the point where I wonder who was a sub there and gave up their existing pin to have her

Yeah

Because if you have your pen ever since you got your first if postcard

Yeah

So I had our pen and then lost my card and I need a new pen and I changed it and I never never change

Oh, wow, I see myself. I'll just constantly change it, but yeah, I've changed it since same

I mean to do it like re

Well, yeah, I'm supposed to just store that in my head brain. Yeah, I got my pen in 1998. Wow

And I've used it ever since

Feel that's cool, man. Yeah, it's an old-ass pin. My number is older than some people listening to the Breedier program

Sure that feels shut out to everybody younger than my pin

You you're bossing out there no cat touch grass today, okay, thanks stop stop it

Monica says he knows most of them the account holder for all of the streaming

I'm the account holder for all of the streaming you best believe that most passwords are the same

I've seen his point phone pin numerous times, but I've never remembered it never needed it really Monica

What if he pulled the ripcord and took a minger of a lover? Yeah, I think you need to check that phone. Yeah, you would I'd go through

His phone was in the shower. Yeah, except she can't what do you need?

Wrong three times. Yeah, and then it would lock his phone

Ain't nothing to hide here says Hannah like someone with something to hide. Yeah, that's what they all say. Yeah

Mal says no, but it isn't a secret. I just haven't asked. Oh, yeah

Becca I've told him my pin. He never remembers though and asks every time I know has though

Of course, you do you check this phone when he's in the shower

And he's pretending he doesn't remember your pain

But he remembers your pin because he's checking your phone while you're in the shower

Max says that's impossible. I have a password manager and individual passwords for each love. I'm he does however

They have the master password to that app so can access everything. Oh, yeah screwed them. What a very secure

Homosexual, you know, I'm a six is a very very conscious. Oh, yeah, they are good for them. That's hot

And Trish said never bothered to give them to him. He's my death contact though

So when I die if before him he'll have access to everything that can be set up an iPhone settings. Don't you know? Oh

goodness

I've got emergency contact

You're one of my emergency contacts only cuz I know you'll get excited to have a call

I'll get a call. I'll be like it's gossip and I'll be like hello, and they'll be like hello

Is this mr. Smith? I'm like this isn't flesh. No flesh has been in a terrible concrete pouring accident

And then you'll ring me and be like I've got gossip

Oh my god

Legacy contact legacy

Death Trish yeah Trish that's in a grim when you called him your death contact legacy contact

So you just add a contact and they will have access to your messages photos. Oh, no, I'm good. Thank you

I'm good. Oh, I'm good. Actually. Yeah, Aaron's probably seen no notes. Don't you have a lot of shit in your notes?

I got lots of yeah, and other sensitive data plus the ability to remove activation lock from your devices

So yeah, they basically can just take over your phone when you die

I'm all good. Actually, I prefer one of you to do it. Do it. I'll do it

And then I'll write your book. I'll write your

Memoir

I'll call it me Haley Sproul me oxen comma from Haley Sproul from rangi order to riches

Well now she's admitting she's from a lot of you know because he's writing it he'll help me yeah

Hey

Well a

List of the most expensive and worst value tourist attractions has been compiled the way that they've done this

from 134 countries they looked at all the tourist attractions and

Looked in the most popular with the word expensive. Oh, right like a trip advisor type review. Yeah, they use trip advisor

So I'll give you the top 10

The New Zealand New Zealand is on the list, but way down like they've kind of got a big map of all the parts of the world

With all that the world what's considered the most expensive?

Like where you've traveled. What are you because that was the Big Mac index, right?

Yeah, they went around the world and they would compare the price of a Big Mac

Right, that would give you around the world. Yeah

All the same how we get better be we've got better be a bit of cheese. Absolutely. Yeah, we've got the best beef and cheese

Nobody had better be cheese

than me

It was a really terrible Donald Trump

Yeah, we got it. It wasn't great

I like

Nobody knows you better

I mean, I don't know the latest big Mac index the big Mac index is always like scanty countries

Some of the most expensive countries I've been to Switzerland

Was mind-blowingly expensive and you didn't realize it at the time because you're like Kroger

I don't know is it Kroger or something like that

And then you get the you look at your bank account afterwards. You're like how much for that?

Yeah, I know it is a hundred bucks sanely expensive

So the the top ten worst value tourist attractions

Empire State Building

3056 mentions of it being

So the main deck cost forty four dollars US yes, all these prices gonna be in US 38 for children

Yes, they will be rocket Rockefeller is the better building to go up is it the better views

Unobstructed you can stand on top of it with a glass famous

It's not as famous in England Warwick Castle

Beautiful old castle

Visitors over the age of three have to pay forty eight dollars for a single day pass again

These aren't like what is Disneyland? That's not even on this list

There's nothing to do at Warwick Castle. You look at a car. So you're paying to look at a castle

Where is Disneyland once you're in your senses are overwhelmed? It is very expensive, but you're kind of like yeah

It's Disneyland. Okay. Well, I might have spoken too soon because Magic Kingdom Park in Orlando, Florida

One of the most visited amusement parks in the world 17 million people went in 2022 day tickets

Started at 144 that's number six. So magic in in Orlando. Creepy if I'm wrong. I haven't mean to that one Disney World is in four parts

I think so. Yeah, and that's just one. Yeah, that's just one part blue lagoon

In Iceland Wow, which

Is that the hot poles? Yeah, the hot poles. You definitely know you would have seen a photo of these

That's 64 US dollars, right?

Yeah, mate, you can go swimming in kerosene Creek just out right away

Kerosene Creek, it's so great. I mean these places aren't the most expensive to get into

Entry wise bang for buck as well

So while you there, I guess they take into account like food and drink and souvenirs and and you kind of captive there

Universal Studios, Florida is number six on the list of the world's worst-value tourist attractions

The view from the shard England is number five. Oh, that's the big. Oh, yeah, you just going up to see shitty London

Well, at least you're closer to everything now this next on the list of is number four

We've actually been up here born the Burj Khalifa and we went for free because we were with Dubai tourism

I'd never even so it costs 210 US dollars. What just go up just

You know what I think it's worth it because it is insane

Like there are skyscrapers look you're looking down at skyscrapers

Feeling I can get just remembering what it was like last night. I had a dream we broadcast from the space station

How did we get Haley would never

It was so like

Number three of the world's worst-value tourist attraction the London eye again like the shard

I am in quite the

Engineering wonder here

So slow people have to get on and off at the bottom

Do you think it's any coincidence at the next two on the list and half of this list half of the top ten have been in England?

Cuz they love a winch. Yeah, they do love a leg-o land Windsor resort is number two on the year and number one

This is the world's worst-value tourist attraction Warner Brothers studio tour the making of harry potter in England that had

8,000 guests complaining on Tripadvisor that it was expense

Sixty-three dollars

That one's purely just looking at props and

Yeah, no no rollercoasters or anything like that's lame and the one in New Zealand that makes the list

And out of the whole world

Queenstown looge what number what number was that wasn't the top ten though, right?

It's not on the top ten

It's just on a map of the world and that's the only one in New Zealand

I love the bloody looge the blue

Blues rule they just need my only complaint is they need looge if looge is for people over six foot

Aaron wouldn't be able to do the looge. Yeah, we looged last time we're in Queenstown

And there's a couple that are like bigger bit they go up. I need to ask outside of his arms

You look like Donkey Kong and Mario Kart and the rainbow seemed was very funny, but that view from the looge

Bluebird day. That's beautiful

Losing around it's amazing in New Zealand dollars comparative to your American dollars, but if we're talking a family of four

Yeah, how many looge rides you want you gotta have five you gotta have five

Yeah, I get over it by family of four two hundred dollars. Okay, there's some buyers a family pack

If you just buy yourself as an adult with five looge rides seventy seven dollars. That's not bad. Yeah

Yeah, I love a win show don't they love a win love a win

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. All right, there's just there's just somebody at the door

I just got to tell them to wait

Oh my god, are they orphans here?

No, I'm banned the Christmas orphans

Still not

Mr. Fletcher they always they always lock cold. Oh

75 days 16 hours and 37 minutes away from Christmas. Yeah, this is our segment where we

Give you a Christmas penetration reading. You know where we're at. Hmm. Ah

first of all

Where did you send that thing to go in here? It is

Catherine Cowan's mum. Oh, yeah, we like she's made a submission

From bed bath and beyond and I'm imagining the Christmas stuff falls into the beyond

She sent in what have we got here we've got Christmas themed raccoons

Reindeers and

Christmas mice

Christmas

Christmas are like soft toys. We've got a variety of Santas. We've got little Santas medium Santas big Santas

Santas wearing all sorts of colours as well as a plethora of

Christmas decorations for the tree a nutcracker. Do I see any decorations? Oh, you do. Yeah, we could get some nice bougie

Decoration bed bath and beyond in our Napier there adding to Christmas penetration Mariah

Carrie

Carrie Mariah Carrie Mariah Carrie

Carrie but it's about Carrie. It is Carrie Mariah. Carrie. Yeah, it's right here. Yeah, Mariah. Carrie. No, it's Carrie

Mariah Carrie. Yeah, Mariah. I could probably have just said Mariah and with the Christmas

Yeah, she is doing the holiday tradition returns Christmas

tour

She's announced dates and

And November starting November 15 through to December 17 starting in California ending in New York

Well, that'll be a last chance before Christmas. That would be a pretty amazing thing to see

That'll be a last song of the night, right? All I want for Christmas. Oh, it's simply must be you'd imagine. It's you could pepper it

I reckon it's something with that. Yeah, go to the halftime break with it. Yeah

100% Wilson said full penetration

This is where Wilson's a big yeah, he's a big contributor big contributor loves it every year

Typo, he said has really stepped up the game and gone full full penetration

Yeah, Typo, and I've just been clips in a reel

Oh, yes, Ballantyne's yes the famous Christchurch department store have gone for Christmas

They've got look at these you need some of these Haley these little gingerbread houses. Oh, yeah

Christmas there for Christmas

Tree although they got look at this. Oh my god. They got anything in a snowy

Set so ready some Christmas bunting that really said it's time for Christmas

So Ballantyne's is on board. Michael said Coles and Sydney now have a full

Display that is usually reserved for things on special called Christmas treats

It's got all the Christmas treats in there treats

Anthony said scared to shit out of me

I walked into the warehouse turned around and came face-to-face with a life-size Santa and then photo I've said Santa, okay

And Melissa said might attend mega and done the same thing life-size Santa that talks when people move past that motion activated

No, I'm not about those. You're going

I use the wrong wrong track to the naughty

Role in my head, okay, so 75 days away from Christmas

Donovan Blitzen starts stretching those legs

Christmas penetration is at 53%

Mr. Fletcher you won't believe what happened after last Christmas you won't Mr. Fletcher

Well, what happened my sister tell you. Thank you, brother

My mom and dad that you found us. They had a horrible divorce

At their house, they don't eat meat

And I was malnourished going into it

When they finally took me to a doctor because they believe that alternative medicine

Vegan sausages were worse than orphanage

Mr. Fletcher

Was better

Because you've earned us a place to live guess what mr. Fletcher it sucked

Yeah, we're lovely we promise

Would you like to hear a Christmas carol? No? Oh

Good

Fletcher one and Haley's choose your family with contact mobile

You're not coming in there get out

I'm going home

You guys are banned from the radio

They don't love you they don't want you anymore

Mr. Fletcher here we go

Please consideration for these poor starving children. No, no

I'm so go back to the orphanage

Fletcher one and Haley

Zdm she's getting you on out. It's just getting a big fatty out

So there this is a research about the perfect age gap in a relationship now me and Aaron are eight years

apart you

Are you like one year?

You would think so because

Shade looks as old as I do

Such a haggity face

Such a haggity old face that are I look yeah, why don't we do look very similar age thinking no three years apart three years apart?

Yes

We're eight years

Well, this research has shown that couples with a larger age gap are much more likely to break up than those who are closer in age

So they said that three thousand couples they analyzed

With a five-year age gap

Couples were eighteen percent more likely to split up and contrast to those who were the same age

With a ten-year age gap, which is closer to Aaron and I

39% more likely to separate

And the figure rose to 95%

With the four couples with a 20-year age gap. Oh, wow. Yeah

So the sweet spot they said is

One year

Within a year within a year

20-year age gap. No the 95% more likely. Yeah, of course to like twice as much of course

You're with a bloody. I'd be with it. Yeah, I'll be with a 54 year old

This doesn't this doesn't have a how long it would last just that it would it would end in a breaker that it would end

Yeah, what yeah more likely because they die one of them would die right the old

Yeah, I wonder if it went to like a thousand percent if it was more than 30, which I would say that when we head into yuck

Territory I

Don't want to yuck anyone. I don't want to yuck anyone's young but

So they say the closer in age the more the

More likely you are to stay together. Yeah, right now. I'm gonna dig in my toes and prove them wrong

Okay, but how are you incredibly unhappy, but I read a study that said we were more likely break up

And so we just simply want as if you are putting your stubbornness ahead of your happiness. Yeah, I am key to a long and happy marriage

I'm very happy

Well, we mentioned before Christmas star how many days 60 75 days a study's been done

This is out of America

75% of people receive up to seven presents a year, which they will never use

dear I

Don't think I've received any presents this year that I didn't like

My presence you like presents. See I'm not I'm just like

At least it's a guess something you really want

Like just don't bother

Love me a voucher. Yeah. I mean you can't lose a voucher Lord. I love a voucher

Yeah, I mean I've been through phases. I feel like I'm quite easy to buy for do you know what I mean like you can't really you know

The stores I like and I've always loved like a bottle of wine or something like that

But there are some people that are very difficult to buy for and so you sort of panic and buy them weird things

Yes, so bad books or romance novels. Hankies socks after shade

We're seen as dull items to be gifted on birthdays Christmas and other occasions

57% of people do not want clothing of any kind being selected by somebody else

Yeah, that's voucher for clothing voucher for clothing like you don't just buy a t-shirt and hope they like it

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't get the fit right. Yes. You don't know how they want to wear it

But yes, so many people are as well donate like 26% of people have donated disappointing gifts to charity

Mmm, and while 14% will just hide stuff out of sight out of mind like oh

I'm never gonna use this chuck it in the cupboard or the draw and it just stays here. It's just a waste

There was a while

Where Aaron was very difficult to buy for it would seem and people would get him strange gifts in his family like really bizarre things

And I don't know why I guess like you can't really buy him clothes

He's a very big fella. He's a big man. They'd buy like a weird speaker or something. You know like a novelty speaker

Yeah

Put in the shower yes stuff like that and you're like

Gotcha. Yeah, what you do you what you don't want to fall into is

Getting too many gifts for something you kind of like because then people are like, oh my god

That was me and cats you and cats everyone would just get you cat things cuz I've got a cat

Cuz you think I want like you've got a cat everything like cats. Yeah, it was what I called extreme

Home makeover

Syndrome where you would accidentally say you liked something and then it would just sleep in a shark be exact

You'd be living in a tsunami of things

Yeah, never tell the producers of a makeover show you like shot

No, never do or anything

I think the Aaron as well

But it's because of that reason that once because he collected all the Lord of the Rings figurines

Yeah, and then so every year anyone who wanted to buy him a gift was like, oh, what don't you have any blood that one

They'll be like sweet there you go

And then when he had them all it was like maybe that you know, they'd lost touch of what he really wanted

Do you ever get the ring? The ring is the necklace with the

Please you're getting into the territory with Land Rover stuff. Yeah, but I love Land Rover stuff

You couldn't go wrong if it's got a land Rover. Yeah, but what do you want another Land Rover toy? Yep toy car

Yep, what are you gonna do with it? I'm gonna put it on the shelf and then Shade's gonna take it down and put it in a cupboard

She said that's not just for display. Yeah. Well, I'll happen

I thought we could take some calls this morning. What are people always buy you and maybe you're too sick of it

Yeah, like you you've got one thing. You're like, okay. Yep, like you had two dolphin things and now you're the dolphin girl

Every birthday you get something with a dolphin on it

I got a dolphin tattoo in the 90s and now people think I still like them

But maybe you do like them maybe like born you get all the Land Rover figurines or Star Wars stuff

Yeah, well, maybe you're sick of it and maybe you're done with it. You're still like, oh, yeah

Well, maybe there's that relative or family member that just always gets you something

I remember when I was in my goth phase my auntie God bless bought me in the Mariah Carey CD

Okay, we're one with the rainbow across the t-shirt. Yeah, right interesting choice. Was she trying to un-goth you?

Yeah, not quite cradle of filth, but you got close

Talking about the gifts that you always get maybe you're sick of getting the same thing, but people just don't realize

Yeah, you're not that into dolphins. Yeah, I love koalas as a child for sure. Yeah. Yeah

Ask the messages in of things you've got that you don't want I love reading

But it's getting to the point of ridiculousness for my birthday. I've got 15 books from my friends

It was the only thing anybody got me books, but like is that good?

Are they good?

Yeah, I'm kind of like yeah, they're never gonna go out of fashion or you know go off

But wouldn't you rather have a voucher for a bookstool? Bill Cosby's fatherhood hasn't aged. Well

I've been flicking through it this week

Somebody said beware of the mother-in-law at the local craft market because she'll be like, oh, you know, who'd love that Steven

And the sign says Steven drinks beers

Mother-in-law love a craft market. Yeah, I love it. So anything carved into a slab of wood recipe books

Somebody said I had display recipe books barely even opened them and people would notice my recipe books

I'm like, oh, give her more recipe books

She must have every recipe ever booked

Four years in a row my grandmother has gifted me a Bible had gifted me a Bible

Oh, I think she got the clue though because now I get alcohol or cocktail kits

Hey, you're okay. That's that's a bit. That's a real swing around real change from Graham

Apparently found Satan life

Asking you

What people always buy you the gifts you always get the same thing? Hmm?

They're like, oh, she loves candles

Oh, but like if you had a lot I know Aaron's been like no more candles

Oh, I've been banned. We've got 50 candles. You're on a candle band. Oh, we're on a candle band. Oh, I

Actually suggested it out for Aaron's birthday the weekend that the girls make him a special candle for her

Flavor it was because they've got these new yeah

It is I've got these new test scents and it's enough to make one candle so you can make it and smell it and see what it smells like

See you'd like it was for him, but the candles are usually for me. Yeah, body wash sets

My mum used to get and we're real guilty is charged my mum was a hard woman to buy for yeah

There's a kid would all pull our money and buy her a little like wicker basket with like packed stuff some

Salophane in there to pack it out and these like what I'm guessing we're pre bath bomb bath bombs

Yeah, balls and they were filled with oil and I think they'd dissolve in the bath and then

Gosh, you had so many of those yelling no

Yeah, and little soaps that look like roses

Yeah, and she's never used them. I just of course not they just sit there gathering dust truck when we moved out of home

She just chuck them all away. I'm a Dara

What what do you always get gifted?

I'm good morning. So I met your teacher. So maybe my students aren't listening to this on the way to school

I would have gone with a less identify less identifiable name than a Dara

But no, I always keep candles and I'm never like a no-person to a present

But my spirit wardrobes are like 60 candles in there

Because it's like conflicting sense or you know your house is basically like a shrine with all the candles

Could you re-gift these candles?

Well, I think it's like my family and friends are made jokes about it. So if I re-gift them

Yeah, you need it black you need a blackout like we need a big power crisis

Exactly

Yeah, I know I know I know what you mean about the conflicting sense because if you get a couple of different candles

You're like, well, I can't have two very different parts of the house. Yeah, you've got it. Yeah

You've got it like balance it all out

So I'm feeling like I'm just gonna go through like one or two a year in front of that 85 and then we're good

If your students are listening what would be a more what would be a better gift like a bottomless branch voucher

My mom used to make my teachers Russian fudge

Yeah, I don't know if you can see the kid to school with a bottle of wine though, okay, yeah

Hey, thanks, you call some messages in

porcelain dolls

This is nice as a flash dolly but unfortunately all through the rest of my childhood in ten years

I was getting more and more porcelain dolls creepy. That's creepy. Uh

My my sister used to buy me incense every Christmas in a giant lollipop. I hated both

I finally told her after about six years of a lot of incense

And uh, can you say it? I'll just take it bella. Oh my god. Thank you so much. I cannot stand it in sense

I love her like I don't get it at home, but I love that candle

It's so thick. It's yeah, it smells of incense is a fit smell. Yeah, I love it

But I you know, I was raised a witch

I did mention on ear and on the podcast that for my birthday because Aaron was busy

I went and bought my favorite author's new book

And I handed it to him and said wrap that and give it to me on my birthday

Like a sexy middle evil evil evil book in middle evil middle medieval medieval kind of a romance

It's a romance. Yeah, it's uh, well, it's his sort of big a big historical epic, right?

It's gonna be really really good. It's gonna be really good. Anyway, so he gave it to me and um,

Uh, I suspected he had already read it because he tends to do this

It's like take my new books and if I don't read them immediately

He just reads it and then you don't like that because it what here marks page

He bends the spine Fletch

Oh, wait, he opens it right up. He opens it right up and then often to put it down

He'll just put it down on the on its front. Oh my god. Get a bookmark books for our friends. Yeah

And that's horrendous. I was like, I'd rather you dog ear the bloody page

Anyway, he didn't do that and said he gave me about it was a whole thing. It was really cute

but yesterday I was like, I'm gonna dive into my bookie wookiee wookiee and um, I

Could see the air and was like sniffing around and wanting to sort of know like oh

So when's it set in relation to the series and all this kind of stuff? So he's read the books as well

Yeah, yeah, I put them on to them

Of the whole series of which this whole thing is the fifth book

A passion for reading in sort of a genre

Yeah, shut up. I'll be like you've got to read this book and I'll be the what's it about and he's like, oh man killed 80 children

And I'll be like you grim dark

Yeah

No, he'll read anything but he loves an epic. It's called the armor of light. It's from the kingsbridge series by ken fallott

The armor of light the armor of the king's bridge series

And again, you don't play dungers and dragons and I don't is that 100

It's set in 1792 perfect. So we're early. Okay. We're gone back. Anyway, I could see on erin's face that he was like

Sniffing and be like, where are we when kingsburg? Right? Have you started the book by now? Well? I started it

And then I had an idea and I was like, well, why don't we do this? We'll read it together

And he was like how and I was like, we'll each read out a chapter out loud

And so that's what we're gonna that's how we're gonna read this book and this is what you think is cute

A chapter isn't like a lot to read out loud. Yeah, but we're performers. We love it. We love doing the voices

Oh my god, do you do the voices? Yeah, all not like too intense. He's not like

Well, I'm disappointed I for one would like that but we do a soft variance in the voices

I think there's gonna be a great way to read the book. It'll be slower. So much slower reading out loud

Yeah, but you're on more of it. So the person receiving the reading is like just getting taken on a bit of a sort of

Hypnotism almost. Well, it's like a like the audio book, right? Yeah, and then the next night

You're up for the chapter where I try doing this with harry potter with the girls and doing the voices

And then by like a few chapters in they were like, no, you've done that voice

That's that's mcgonagles voice. You can't use that for another teacher. Oh

We've only got so many characters in us. Yeah, we're just like watch the movies then. Yeah, old english woman

I was like, you know, you know, who's done this better movies. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's how we're gonna read this book

And I'll tell you it's a fatty like it's one of those

Oh, no, this will take forever huge pages

I would almost need a pre-reader. I wouldn't be confident enough myself and not loud

Do you know I'm a very good cold reader? I've always been like that voiceovers and stuff. I just go raw dog into the booth

What if um, you're having one of those nights we've had an argument though

Then I'll read it like this. It'll be terse. Yeah, we do. Yeah, okay the grandmaster

Went to the cathedral

Well, how I would long to go to a cathedral right now to get away from you

Just like that. I would say if you've had an argument, maybe skip a night and wait till you've rekindled

I think it's really gonna bring us back together. You know some couples like to make it sound like you're drifting

Do they and we yeah, apparently

I don't know. Fresh ones must be like to read a book out loud together pretty cute

Off air just now we were trying to discover if we're all snail girlies or not. I'm definitely not

Fletch you're you're by snail

A by snail skewill

I don't think he's a he's not he's a he rushes. Yeah, he does. What is the definite because this is a thing now

So it's apparently the healthier alternative to the girl boss. So why a girl boss rushes always striving for more

Mahi, Mahi, Mahi

The snail girl keeps things slow and steady

Right now slow and steady is not me. Why don't they pick a cute slow thing?

Why are we wet?

Slides around leaving a trail behind it like girl sloth. That's way nicer. Yeah, like sloths are cute. No, but sloths are cute

Sloth is also a sin

And it's it's been called lazy. Yeah

Was the the sloth was named after the

The verb

Oh, I don't know. Yes, it was right because it moves from the bubble. Yeah, they were like that needs a word that animal needs a name

It's very slow. We'll call it a sloth because it's slower. So they say when the girl boss constantly pushes through the stress

And the work to feed her ambition. That's me. Yeah

Stressor the snail girl goes back into her shell when she needs to

If the girl boss needs to achieve more to feel happy the snail girl is just happy to move at her own pace

Not about stopping work altogether

It's just about doing it your own pace

And the girl boss even saying this

Frustrates me. I need to move faster. I want to get going. I want to move move

The girl boss can plant all the lettuces, but she's got to sleep, baby. And that's when the snail comes in and you're

Yeah, right. I see you think you could be a bit of both

You'd be a girl boss planting the lettuces. I'm saying the girl boss is working hard planting all these seeds these little seed growing

These little business seedlings and the girl the snail girl comes in

What no, I tell you what I'm I'm sprinkling some blitz in around this garden

Yeah, so you get to move on

Now can we head to our girlies in the in the booth carwene shannon? Are you snail girls?

Yeah, I think I try to be like try get through the admin in one go and then try like leave work and leave work at the door

You know what I mean? Wow

He's like, what are you doing and I don't even do that, but it works. It's bizarre

But yeah, I feel like that's like the gen Z movement of like trying to have a better work life balance

I feel like that's where the snail girlies are coming in. So you don't want to be old and um run down and burnt out

Yeah, pretty much pretty fun

Can't we know you a snail? I don't think so. I think that at the moment, especially I'm real hustling your girl boss

Yeah, Jared. Are you a snail girl?

Uh, no, I am a male

No, I am a big man

No, I don't know what animal would you be a man slo- a man slo- koalas are slow

Oh, yeah, koalas my favorite animal in the world. They should have gone koalas or slo- koala girl riddled with clapp

Yeah, again, that's not a good idea another tickle

You know, like I don't know what the perfect animal for me would be

What's this?

What's this

Really explode a ball of potent energy sugar glider a sugar glider. All right hummingbird

Hummingbird, you know, they're like, yeah

They always look like frantic and anxious, but I don't know if they are I think that's just them. Yeah, great. There you go

That's me a frantic anxious hummingbird

Zidem's flesh one and Haley

Fact of the day day day day

Yeah

Today's fact of the day I told you I was gonna tell you about the rollercoaster before roller coasters

Because

Are we gonna make it to the end of this week without sorry, my brain just went Ronan Keaton

What it should be in the background every day

I don't know if it should be oh really chili peppers love roller coaster. You give me that funny feeling

in my tummy Ronan

Hey, how many songs about roller coasters have they been let me type in a roller coaster we have

Bleaches roller coaster who bleach is bleach is roller coaster. Oh, that was the guy that was um bleach is 20

Yeah, this is the guy that was uh jack Antonoff. Yeah jack Antonoff

Right is banned. Um, there is punchy song. There is uh, Aaron Watson has a song called roller coaster ride

Jonas brothers have a 2019 song robin thick Ronan Keating red hot chili peppers

Right uncancelled robin thick when his dad died. Hey, or did we re-cancel him? Was he where's he at on the cancel?

Okay carry on

Okay, perfect. I hadn't even crossed my mind

What are the earliest coasters in America, uh, wasn't a full-time roller coaster?

That's I told you roller coasters invented yesterday

Yes, by a man who wanted to take new yorkers away from

Debortory and sin for the entertainment

Well, there was a roller coaster before that. It was the munch chunk switchback railway

Munch chunk munch chunk. I hate when someone calls me a munch chunk. I'm always excuse me. It's been a long winter

I'm a little munch chunk. I'm a little bit munch chunk. Yes. I'm munched. I'm munched chonkers on my bars

I munched too much and now I'm chonk. So this was a gravity railway. It was built in 1872 to haul coal

Right between coal mines

Oh my god, it's the original gold rush from rainbow's end. Correct

Correct

So it would go up. Yeah, they would when it was empty. It was pretty light

So they'd have some oxen to pull it up though or some draft horses to pull it up the hill

They'd load it up with one and a half tons of coal and then just be like huff push

And it would go

Down there down a track and when they ride it down there 50 miles an hour through the valley

Uh, so in the it got to the point where everyone was like

It was his pastel house and shit. It looks fun

Oh, that was a good time. Any chance we could do

Sit in it. So then in 1873

Uh, it was in the morning. It would haul coal

Yeah, that haul all back up empty all the way to the top and then people would jump in and they'd pay

75 cents each. Yep, which would have been a decent amount back in the day

Yeah, uh, 75 cents each and then they would ride it

9 miles

Miles

Walk

Or you could sit in it while I was being pulled but then these draft horses they used to pull on an empty not full of people

30 000 people rode it in 1873. Wow

You might be thinking

Seat belts. Nope. Nope. Hold on. They sat in the coal

Carriage, yeah

So there is I was looking up photos obviously no video of it

But there are some like photos and people had taken their own chairs

Like they were sitting on like crates and boxes. You wouldn't want to get a shitty bum

No, one of those warehouse $12 chairs those white ones. The plastic ones. I think that was $12

Is that the inflation hit a beautiful white plastic lawn chair?

$5 say

Yeah, you want to wait till a boxing day sale if you can't afford to wait because you'll get those things for five

And let me look

They're always good to have in the garage

$14

$14. Yeah, $14 is the current white classic

resin chair white

Yeah, I don't mind seeing one collapse under some weight

awesome

That little

Crack before the collapse. I'm a leaner on a chair even outside

One of those I'll be leaning on and it'll be wobbling and then you go down

Your wife won't say don't lean on the chairs because that's what I did Aaron. Don't lean on the chairs

I always say that the kids don't lean on the chairs. My mum still says

Break your knees because you fall over and tell me what to do. I'm an adult now. Yeah, don't tell me what to do

So the railway the munch chalk isn't there anymore

Uh, I got it got taken away

It never got any safe, but also no reports of any accidents or deaths as a result

As a result of they were just the carriages would have been like so heavy

There's no way they would have ever come off, right? Yeah, and sometimes we cotton wrap cotton wrap ourselves these days, don't we?

50 miles an hour. What's that?

60 miles an hour is 100 k so 50 miles an hour it's up over 80

You're rocking along on a riggedy ass old track

I would have thought coming off would have been a very real

It was straight

But it was also straight down a hill and no loops or anything

No, no, no loop deloops. So today's factor that is before someone built an official roller coaster

There was just a really steep hill that they used to bring coal down on a track and they used to let you ride it in the afternoons

Ah fact of the day day day day day

Now this is a juicy story. Oh my god, uh a girl came lorry

Is she she was out at dinner? I can't she was at a restaurant with her mom

Having dinner right and they're sitting there opposite each other

And then um the mom's looking at the menu and then the mom says in it

Do you see your daddy and she says yes, and then it zooms over to this guy

And then the caption says uh out at a restaurant to eat with my mom and there's my dad

eating

A meal with his girlfriend

Saw his dad saw my dad with a side check

So they're like at the same restaurant from a mommy daughter date. Wait, did they know? No, I thought the mom knew

How would she be keeping it calm me and my mom go to no, she doesn't keep it come after that

She's just like do you see are you seeing what i'm seeing and

Going over and being like hello

It's me your wife and your daughter so they caught him

They just it was like

The stars aligned and they just happened to choose this restaurant at this time for a little mom daughter dinner date

So was the dad like i'm not going to be home tonight. So mom's like, oh well i'll go out for dinner with you

Me and lorry will go out for dinner. Why not?

Nick Minner small town same restaurant same time and he doesn't see it

Like they're like zooming like this for a while

Always like yeah like in small towns. It must be so hard to have an affair. There's like three restaurants

Yeah, totally one of them is tai one of them's one of them's indian. Yeah, one of them's chinese

No, the other one's just a pub of no

They do have a Chinese takeaway, but it's sort of select your own in a polystyrene container

Don't overfill the container you get charged no too dolly overfill to sit down tai

Yeah, yeah, but but but it's a tai restaurant not run by tai people

So some of the mosaic he stuff on the walls actually cambodian and

Yes, yeah

A sort of a this area. Yeah, it's tai but you can also order a butter chicken there

It's confused and the indian restaurants aren't happy about it because that's really treading on there

Yeah, so they've got like a singaporean noodle dish going well, you know if we're going to be covering our bases here

And then the pubs like oh, we've also got a prawn curry like what's going on. Yeah, it's not very good

I wouldn't get it absolute scandal. Anyway, I want to know

This is verging on an impossible fauna

But I'm not I'm not ready to commit. Have you ever caught a parent cheating?

I reckon it's not it's not it's not close to impossible

It's very possible because you think about the people who are in your life the most

Yes, your partner that finds you cheating and you've got kids

It's gonna be your kids. It's gonna be your kids. Yeah

You're all swarmed around the same house phones, you know kids playing on phones

Yeah, because your kids would play before they got their own phones. They'd have a turtle on your phone

Oh, yeah, yeah, you might get a message from yeah, Lorely

Lorely, yeah, I was getting a lot of messages from that Gilmore girl

Yeah, or the or the kids on mum's iPad and see some naughty videos

So all right, well let's take some calls

Maybe it is verging on an impossible phone. All right, it maybe it's not have you ever

discovered a parent cheating because then the next step is what do you do?

They do you tell mum or dad?

I know so this is an ever unfolding story because they went over and confronted but there's no update on

What's happening, but at least she found out at the same time as mum

I know because then she didn't have to tell mum. Yeah, she wasn't plagued with what I do here. I know. Yes

But if you saw mum or dad now, yeah, what do you do?

Okay, well tear the family apart. Good morning asked and I have received

Calls of when you are caught a parent cheating

So story of a mother and daughter who caught their father the father. Oh my god. I know so many messages in let's start with gs

Jess, what happened?

Hello, hello, did you catch a parent cheating?

Yeah, so when I was uh before I turned 10 I caught my mum

cheating um on my dad

and they're like text messages and stuff and then

So like I knew what was happening and like she would basically always make sure I'm hanging out with his daughter

So for my 10th birthday, I made sure to invite his daughter and my dad and my dad is overseas and he came back to America for my birthday

and um

Yeah, then it's basically just all orchestrated the parents. So my dad my mum by and his

wife

at a lovely conversation outside

At your 10th birthday party

Arguing in shoes that you don't own that

Slippery floors at the bowling alley. I know you can check someone down

Jess what happened fast forward like did they end up breaking up?

Um, so my parents are basically on the brink like they were separating. Um, so I think it was just like the last drawer

right

And yeah, so it was inevitable

Yeah, so like it knew what was happening, but I guess

Just speed it up

But yeah, you found out you found the text. Oh my god

Oh, well, yeah, it's kind of hard when I'm also going to like these like

catch-ups with her and like with the daughter and like they're like

Clearly flirting

That's so crazy kids gonna play outside. Yeah

We're gonna go and watch a movie in this bedroom. Thanks. You call some messages. Uh, so many

somebody said

Then the car next to us

Oh, okay, hold on not appearing but my granddad was in the car with my mum

And we pulled up to the lights and saw my granddad with a hot young blonde in the car next to us

Oh, but where was grandma? She was probably at home getting dinner ready. Yeah, she was bloody over boiling from broccoli

Listen to this

I was eight and my stepmom asked me to go next door to get some toilet paper

I walked in because I was eight. Yeah, and the door was like open. So I opened I walked in

I caught my old man with the neighbor's daughter and they were kissing

No, the daughter was in her 30s. It wasn't like a yeah, right. Yep. Never told a soul until now

We're we're the first

What's so mom and dad stayed together?

Oh my god, follow up please a mom and dad stayed together. What anonymous anonymous. What a story

So now we're talking about catching your parents cheating because someone online shared catching your dad cheating

And the stories we're getting are just wild. I love this. Gc. What happened? You caught your stepdad

Hi guys. Yeah

We all went on a camping trip with my mom's best friends and

My mom wasn't feeling well and my

My stepdad and her best friend decided to go for a walk

And I

And I kept quiet about it for like 10 years

10 years and then then what?

So when I the the day I found out I was pregnant was the day my mom actually

Got an anonymous message from someone else to say that that had happened and my mom died out about it

And did they break up or stay together? They are stalled together happily married

People give him and they for even friends with the friends

There was that was what I was um reading an article yesterday. The key to a happy relationship is monogamish. Yeah, monogamish monogamish

Yeah, one or two slip-ups over the over the course of 20 years monogamish. That's all right monogamish

monogamish monogamish monogamish monogamish monogamy

It's just one. Yeah. I'm an agamish unless it's monogamish

In fact, that would be a great phone in topic another day to discuss. Are you monogamish? Are you monogamish?

Yeah, maybe. Uh, thank you for your call jesse. Kelly. Uh, you caught a parent cheating

Hi. Hi guys. Yeah, I um

Back when I was about 10 or 11, I went on our home computer and I discovered that my mom was talking to another man

What was it an email thread or was it an msn chat or I think it was msn chat. Yeah, it might have been um

Originally they might have met through like New Zealand dating or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so I I gave I like

looked over these messages and so I knew what was going on and then um, I didn't say anything though and

And then out of nowhere one day

My mom was all of a sudden like you guys need to pack a bag. We're out of here

and I I still to this day remember what I put in this little cardboard box of treasures and I had a bag of clothes and

Put them in the car and we drove for hours to a different town and got to this hotel and we were

Stayed at the hotel that night and then the next day

Like my my mom kept most of it from us kids. We didn't really know what was going on

Yeah, and um, and then it turns out that guy just stood her up and they never actually

Um met and so we had to drive home and then

Like nothing had happened

Oh my god

Look we'll never speak of this

And does she know that you ever read the messages? No. Oh god. No. No. And then did she stay with your dad?

Yeah, and and I I don't actually know the full outcome like whether or not he ever found out he

Is not with us now, but um life just carried on. Yeah, and oh my god

Insane

Dad just died not as far as you know, not knowing any good

Well, this is the hand I've been down. I thought I was gonna have a little sniff somewhere else, but it's not happened

So now I'm I'm just gonna stay

It was quite a um a bizarre part of my childhood because yeah, it was like all of a sudden we were leaving our home and

You know, what do you grab when you're 10 or 11 years old and and you're told to grab what's most important to you?

You know

Wait, so you got home and unpacked and everything before dad noticed anybody was gone

No, no, no, no, no, no

So we we had to go home with it and and I believe there was there must have been words about why we'd left

And because because I remember carrying my stuff in and my dad being like, oh, is that what you took with you?

And yeah, it was quite crazy

Oh my god, is your mum still alive?

You've got to ask her you you've got to like I could not handle not knowing

My relationship with my parents is pretty blunt like if someone's got a question the question gets asked and I'm imagining this

Is in the relationship here. Oh my wow. Hey, yeah, it's never come up as

Ever since I've been an adult. Yeah, but yeah

Are we too early for color?

It's Tuesday, but you are our caller of the week. Callie. You've won a $50 mccafe voucher. Thanks to our mates at mccafe

Oh my god, share it with my go-tape mum to mccafe and be like, hey, let's have a hooey. Let's talk about that time

You made me pack up my Barbies and jump

I love that. Oh my god and update us too. Callie. Thank you so much for messages to finish up so many

So many of these I almost think it needs its own little potty spesh

But I will finish because if you're gonna have that story, you've got to finish on a good story

And that was a great story. Great story. This one. This is also a good story. Okay. We used to live in Levin

Pretty small town live in levita. Like it live in Levin. Levin's had a lot of mentions on the show that

Getting out a lot here and our family had a very identifiable car a big teal v6 valiant

Okay teal not too many teal cars around let alone on a v6 valiant

Anyway, I said at a mate's house and her mum was driving me home

To drop me off and on the way we go past this house and our cars outside. I was like, that's weird

One of what my mum's doing there. I was expecting her to be home. Yeah

So I knew if I went home the door would be locked as dad was at work

So I said to the lady uh, my friend's mum, maybe just drop me off here because if mum's here

The house is going to be locked

I assumed it was one of mum's friends house

So anyway, I go to the door

I know

And a lady answers the door

It was not my mother

A lady wait

Was super shaken to see me

She was crying and had big scratch marks across her face. What?

So it turned out mum had found out that this this woman was sleeping with dad and when dad was at work

She had gone around to confront her

It escalated from screaming mum full cat scratched her across the face. Oh, I was expecting lesbian lovers

I was expecting lesbian lovers

I was expecting dads doing the duty. There was like a mum's driving that car. I'm like and then I'm like mum's treating on dad

And then when a woman answers the door, I was expecting lesbians

I'm always expecting lesbians

It'd be great if she went around to confront dad's lover and then was like actually you're a bit of me

And then I turned into a lesbian

But she didn't she can't scratch her across the face and then this woman freshly scratched was like hold on

There's someone at the door

Is confronted with the child of the woman who just can't scratch her across the face

live in

See you. See you later

Actually, I'm gonna have to stop you there. That's copyrighted

So the case was a very good friend of mine. Well, she's already sued me twice

So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action

That would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars. Yeah if she does the same for this podcast

Yeah, and then she tells all her friends and if you're listening maybe give it give it five stars as well

ZM's Fletch Vaughan Haley

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.

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