Les Grosses Têtes: BEST OF - Les 10 meilleures blagues du dimanche

Great job people!

Thanks. How about tacos and boil heights tonight?

The best tacos are in Southgate.

The best tacos, right?

Excuse me, I thought my tacos were the best tacos.

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What's your plan?

Well, a joke.

The teacher at the school calls the teacher at home.

It's Toto who's hanging out.

And the teacher tells you,

can you pass on your mom?

And Toto says no because she's under the shower.

And he says,

it's not a big deal.

So pass on your dad.

And he says,

no, I can't because he's under the shower with mom.

And he says,

do you think it's going to be long?

Toto says yes, I think yes.

Why do you tell me that?

Because they asked for Vaseline's tube

and I gave them the glue tube.

She's a child.

She's a child.

So another one is,

it happens in the confessional.

And the guy who says,

here's Mr. Curé, my father,

I've made a mistake, my wife.

Curé says,

with whom?

And like the guy who doesn't answer,

Curé, like the big head,

says, I'm going to try to guess.

He says, it's the baker?

But he says, no, no.

And he says, it's the woman of the gender.

He says, no, no, no more.

It's the woman of the guard chief.

And he says, no, no.

It was a whore,

but thank you for the good addresses.

For your wife,

the guy,

he calls the police,

he says, for my wife,

who had disappeared,

you can stop the search.

And the cop says,

she'll come back,

and he says, no, I've thought about it.

Another story, Jean-Marie.

Of course,

it's papi and mommy,

they feel,

you know,

on a little bench

behind the house,

they're covered in sun,

like that,

and then look,

they have their field,

which has always been there,

and suddenly,

she says, you know what,

20 years ago,

day by day,

you made me fall in love

at the end of this field.

Like never,

I've never found

this sensation.

Papi,

I'd like you to do the same thing again.

And the papi says,

okay,

let's go.

Hop,

they go into the field,

and she's in front.

And Papi,

he's starting to raise

a little bit his tablet,

you know, the flower,

to see his ass,

he's raising his ass a little bit,

with the other hand,

he's raising his beard,

he's starting to stick his moustache

to be,

to be in shape.

It wouldn't be filmed by Claude Lelouch,

it's Jean-Louis Trattignan,

and Anouk Hémé.

The music.

I don't agree.

So,

they come to the end,

they come to the end of the field,

he's near the old man,

he's right behind her,

she's trying to grab him,

at the barrier,

boom!

He's gonna penetrate,

he's like...

TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK!

Unforgettable.

You see,

it's the disco rhythm a little faster.

TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK TAK!

The other hand,

he's got his violet eyes,

you know,

the red one that's rising to the front,

it's gonna explode with blood,

the orgasm that's gonna happen,

it's gonna rise,

it's gonna break!

An extraordinary orgasm,

at this moment,

The barrier goes back to the PP, he says, PP, 20 years ago, you were still a secretary, you never made love to me, like today.

And the PP says, yes, but 20 years ago, the barrier was not electrified.

You have a story?

Yes, it's a worker, he goes to a brothel and says, excuse me, I have 20 euros there.

The old man says, gentlemen, we don't have any girls for this price, the guy says, listen, I work, I don't earn a lot of money.

I have the right to have sex, and the girl is waiting, well, let's go to room 20.

He goes into the room, he sees a canard, he's a little disappointed, don't hide that he's disappointed.

And he says, well, at the same time, it's 20 euros, it's not expensive, he catches the canard, he defends it.

But he disgusts it, there will be feathers in all the rooms.

He comes back a week later, yes, he had already come, yes, but there I have 10 euros, no, sir, we have nothing, we have nothing for 10 euros.

But listen, I work, I make a lot of money, I have the right to have sex, room 21.

Come on, you go up.

And there, he comes into the room, he opens the door, he sees 200 guys in front of a 100-year-old glass.

And he's very small, he doesn't see, he jumps on the floor, he says, what's going on?

What's going on?

There's a guy who says, you know, there's a guy who's going to kill a canard.

And do you know the Bigu apple?

No, what is it?

It's a guy who develops projects and everything, and then he receives a Chinese, he says to the Chinese,

yes, Mr. Chang, yes, listen, there is an error, I know we have an appointment, but my secretary must be mistaken

because I develop only start-ups, inventions.

And the guy, he comes with a box full of apples, and then I don't do it at all, in vegetables and vegetables.

And the Chinese say, no, but I, it's invention, I, it's Bigu apples.

He says, what is Bigu apples?

It's all apples with two tastes, it's Bigu.

This apple tasted it, it's raspberry melon.

The guy who croaks in the apple makes it extraordinary, the taste of raspberry.

But it's not chemistry that we would say real fruit.

But on the other hand, we don't feel the taste of melon at all.

And the Chinese says, no, but he turns the apple, he turns the apple, he croaks,

see, the melon, it's great.

And you can make all the fruits, like me, all the fruits, all the fruits.

But you make all the perfumes, or me, you make all the perfumes.

But for example, it's not at all the same market, but imagine, we ask you for an apple that tastes like chat.

You can do that, say, I made a chat, I made a chat, taste it, that's a chat,

but he croaks in it, he crushes it, it's disgusting, it smells like shit.

No, turn the apple, turn the apple.

A woman, she just died, she comes to Saint-Pierre.

Saint-Pierre, listen, I have a look at your file.

It's perfect.

Direction, the paradise.

Hop, he gets into a big white corridor.

And suddenly, she hears a scream, but terrible,

of someone who suffers the shit.

And she says, Saint-Pierre, what is the scream?

Well, she says, it's an angel.

We are making holes in her back to fix the wings.

Wow, fuck.

They take their way back.

Ten seconds after, another scream, on the other side, she says,

and what is that?

We said, that's a lady, we fix her wings,

so we have to make holes in her head.

She says, I don't do more, I prefer to go to hell.

It doesn't interest me, your paradise.

Saint-Pierre says, but you're crazy.

Finally, in hell, we're going to rape you, we're going to sedate you.

She says, yeah, but at least the holes are already made.

Two guys, they haven't seen each other for a long time.

They have 65 bullets.

They say, how are you?

He says, I don't know, how are you sexually?

Well, he says, like the coke.

He says, what, how are you like the coke?

Well, he says, yeah, it was normal.

Then it became light, and now it's zero.

It's a young woman who asks her girlfriend,

how can we do good felling?

Well, he says, it's very simple.

You think of me, you do the felling,

you think of a word called onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu.

Onolulu, yes.

Onolulu, yes yes.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

the woman will answer me right away she says ok that's alright right away he's you humanity

he addressed her daughter and said hey, this year yes, dad, no, no, 5 million dollars

we are in a black sea of money of course that yes without hesitation, right away

and then he turns to his little boy and says, you see my love

Potentially we are millionaires

And, in fact, we live with two assholes at home!

It's time to find out now for 1,99€ per month on Apple Podcast!

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.