Les Grosses Têtes: BEST OF - Les 10 meilleures blagues du dimanche 29 octobre 2023

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I apologize, but I think my dog killed your dog.

He said, what?

He said, what's your dog?

He said, it's a caniche.

A little caniche.

He said, you fuck my face.

A little caniche that killed my 80kg pitbull.

What's that?

The story.

He said no.

He said, actually, I think he died by stealing it when he stole it.

It's a Belgian, a Frenchman, who goes to a restaurant.

He said, I would eat a cornet fried once.

And you, Alru, once, what are you going to eat?

I have a fried one.

And then the Belgian says the same thing.

The Polish woman would like to send a message to her mother.

She comes with the paper, the postman, and says,

well, with everything you have put there, there are 100 euros.

She cries and says, I don't have 100 euros, but I would do anything

to talk to my mother, anything.

And the anything comes in the postman's brain.

He says, anything.

He says, anything.

He says, come with me, take him to the back of the shop.

He asks him to put his knee on his knee.

Absolutely like his mother.

He drops his frog and makes him sign with his eyes.

And she grabs his dick and says, hello, mom.

The guy fights with his wife.

They are in the middle of a forest, and suddenly they meet an ogre.

A four-meter-high ogre.

With measured hands like that, he chops.

So with one hand, he chops the guy in the size.

With his two-foot-long ogre, he makes a circle three meters away.

He puts the guy in the circle and says, you, you put a finger on your foot outside.

I scratch your head.

And he chops his wife and he rapes her for an hour and a half.

So then, and he leaves.

So you imagine, the woman is a little bit angry, of course.

And there, she sees her husband in the circle, who is crying and laughing.

She says, okay, I'm going to get raped for an hour and a half.

And you, it's making you laugh.

No, but wait, wait, honey.

I've been out three times in the circle that he hasn't seen me.

After that, she goes to the hospital, she goes into a room,

and she sees a parrot who is disturbing herself.

She says, Mr. Molino, what are you doing here?

She says, oh, excuse me, it's because it's been 15 days, I'm alone, I'm bored.

I saw something on TV that got me moustached.

I didn't know you were going to come in, I'm sorry.

Wait, but I'm going to help you, excuse me, let me do it.

She shoots the wire, she catches it, she makes it a pipe from another world.

The little old man is in Disneyland.

And when it's over, listen, thank you, I don't know how to thank you, it's so nice.

It's been years, thank you for doing that for me.

And the nurse says, but I didn't do it for you, I did it for me.

How is that for you?

Listen, with all the work I have, I'd rather give up, it's the mouth that changed the wire.

I told you, Laurent, for my hair.

Go ahead.

When I make my hair, I didn't have the balls to make implants.

So I looked on the internet, what to do for the hair to rest.

And I see the only thing to do is to put sperm on the skin, on the skull.

So I was going to go to the bathroom, do what I had to do.

And when I managed to get what I wanted, I went on the skull.

And my wife came to the worst moment in the bathroom.

And she said, what are you doing? Do you know what you're doing?

What am I doing in the kitchen?

It's something I've seen.

It looks like it's made my hair grow again.

Honey, it's been 30 years since we've been together.

I have moustache.

What's the name of the TV channel in Monte Carlo?

Well, it's TV Monte Carlo.

What's the name of the TV channel in Brittany?

Well, it's TV Bret.

What's the name of the TV channel in the North?

It's TV Coron.

Well, it's stupid, but it always works.

Excuse me, we have Jean-Marie and me.

We appreciate it a lot, but we don't see it in the same category.

Because I still remember that when my daughter, one day,

brought me back from school, she gave me a note,

she said, hold my onion.

Well, I said, what are you telling me?

Hold it, I give you my onion.

Well, I said, what are you telling me?

Well, it's your little note.

Why do you tell me it's your onion?

Well, because you're going to see it.

You open it and you cry.

Oh, it's pretty. It's cute. It's cute.

You know the story of the two alpinists?

There are two alpinists who find themselves at the top of Mont Blanc.

And there is a white and a black, a black.

And the white, they come together, they say hello.

And the white, he says, it's a Swiss.

He says, oh, well, you, you're not from here.

And the other one answers, no, I'm from Lausanne.

The woman opens the door, it's 16 o'clock.

And there's a guy there.

He says, do you have a vagin, madame?

Oh, well, she doesn't even answer the door.

You see? And the next morning, at 16 o'clock, it's so slow.

But she opens the door.

Hello, madame, do you have a vagin?

She puts the door back in her mouth.

And the evening, she still confuses herself to her husband.

She says, there's a guy who comes at 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

He asks me if I have a vagin.

The husband says, wait, I'm not working this afternoon.

I'm going to hide behind the door.

We're going to wait until he comes back.

If he asks you again, it's a vagin.

You tell him, yes, just me, I'm here.

I'm here.

At 16 o'clock, Ding Dong opens the door.

Do you have a vagin, madame?

The husband makes him sign, yes, yes.

He says, yes, yes, I have a vagin.

And the guy who says, your vagin, it works well.

The husband makes him sign again.

He says, yes, yes, yes, it works well.

And the guy who says, well, you tell your husband

that he's stopping to kiss my wife.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.