Les Grosses Têtes: BEST OF - Les 10 meilleures blagues du dimanche 22 octobre 2023

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They make money, they make screams in the room, they push their face in the room.

And there is a guy who obviously cheats on the door that says,

So all the evening!

You know, it's the guy who is under, who is in a bar and who asks for a whiskey,

and then two, and then three, and then four, and then five, and then twelve,

and then the waiter says, no, you have to pay, you know,

he says he's asking me to pay.

But he says yes, you have to pay, you know,

and then I think now you have to stop drinking, especially I think you have enough,

if I have to say another one, please.

So the waiter will have the boss, he says, listen boss, I'm very low,

there's a guy who, you know, he's doing a lot, a lot, a lot, he's very low,

and then if he doesn't want to pay, well, if he doesn't want to pay, you'll have to go myself.

So the waiter doesn't want to pay, he says, now he doesn't want to pay.

So the boss goes and says, give me a PPR.

You're going to pay now because it's made of whiskey,

you're going to pay, and then since your state, you're going to leave too.

And the waiter says, hey, who's looking for you?

You're looking for yourself in the face.

The boss jumps over the bar, he takes the guy, he throws him through the bar,

the guy who goes through the bar, he goes out, and there, bam!

Damn, he's going into a good sister, so to speak.

Again, we were all like, oh, he takes the good sister, bam, he hits me.

At the good sister, she falls and dries, he has a fucking time,

at the good sister, he hits her, he hits her, he breaks her teeth,

he breaks her teeth to give her a good sister, she has a lot of blood and all that.

She doesn't move, she's inert, the guy who looks at her, he's lucky.

He's looking at him, he says, you're killing me, Batman.

Oh, yes, he's cute!

It's a guy who says to his wife,

well, why don't you tell me when you're playing?

Well, you're never here.

She's fine.

Oh, well, she's fine.

Come on, come on, come on.

Another story, Jean-Marie.

Of course, his parents and mommy, they are, you know, on a little bench,

behind the house, they're drunk from the sun,

and then look, they have their singing, which has always been there,

and suddenly, mommy says, you know what, 20 years ago, day by day,

you made love to me at the end of this song, like never,

never have I found this feeling again,

Pepe, I would like you to do the same thing again.

And the father says, okay, let's go.

Hop, they go into the field, she's in front of him.

And Pepe, he starts to raise his tablet a little bit, you know,

in the flower, to see his ass, he's a little bit of an ass,

with the other hand.

He takes off his shirt, he starts to stick his shirt to be in shape.

It wouldn't be filmed by Claude Lelouch, it's Jean-Louis Tratignan,

he loved us.

Oh, I don't agree.

So, and they come to the end, they come to the end of the song,

he's ready, the old man, he's there, all ready behind her,

she has no time to climb, at the back, boom, he penetrates,

and then tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic.

But it's unfeasible, you know, it's the disco rhythm a bit faster.

Look at your purple eyes, you know, the red that goes up in front of him,

it's going to explode, it's going to explode.

The orgasm that is going to happen, it goes up, it goes up.

It's like a extraordinary orgasm, at this point,

release your barrier, go back to Pepe.

He said,

Pépé, you've been a secretary for 20 years.

Never, never you made love to me like today.

And Pépé said, yes, but 20 years ago,

the barrier was not electrified.

It's a girl, they've been dating for months and they are a little bit sad.

a little bit sad, the daughter says to the gobbler,

you would still have to one day show me your house where you live,

and the other one says, well, we'll start by the house.

Come on, come on!

I know a guy who had an extremely big motorcycle accident

with whom he had the arm scratched,

who was made to pay for, with a...

He accepted because he was paid by the Americans,

the arm that was found on the side of the highway,

but as he was totally exploded,

he got hit by a vocal frequency arm,

he did three or four months of re-education

to learn how to respond to the arm vocally.

When he left the hospital, he went to the restaurant,

he said, eat, tap, the arm, he ate,

he said, drink, hop, the arm was scratched, he drank,

he paid, tap, the arm, he took the money back,

he went home, four months of hospital, alone.

And there, he looked, he was all alone in his studio,

he said, take off his pants, tap, he wears his pants,

he said, take off, tap, hop, it begins,

he said, take off, he said, take off, and all of a sudden,

his arm is not in shape, it's going, it's going, it's going, it's going,

he says, stop, stop, the arm is not in shape,

the arm is not in shape, all of a sudden,

he wears it, he says, take off, the arm, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap,

oh no, I'm sorry!

A gynecologist, he is with his mistress at the end of the day,

and his mistress starts to get angry and all of a sudden,

there is an interphone that rings,

He goes to see, it's a little camera, he says, shit, it's my wife, she's going to look for me.

And then she says, what are we doing?

He says, quickly, you have to go to the bar and take off your legs, we're going to have fun.

You still have a little one, Monsieur Miguard.

Listen, it's a guy, he's there in a park, the park is crossed by a little strange cottage.

There's a chariot, a horse,

there are two circuits on the chariot,

ten meters behind, there's a guy with a huge dog, a big dog,

and behind, there's a whole strip of people and at least 150 people, only men.

With a little bit of intrigue, but in the line.

He goes back slowly to the city, he comes just behind the guy with his dog.

And when he cracks, he accelerates a little the step, he wants to see it and says,

I'm sorry to bother you in a moment that is very hard for you,

but I'm a little intrigued.

Why are there two circuits?

Well, say the first one, it's my wife.

He says, hey, what happened to him?

Well, he said, my dog, he killed him.

He says, how did he kill him?

Well, my dog is a little suspicious,

he approached a little too much of his kid, he caught him, he killed him.

He says, the second circuit, he says, it's my beautiful mother.

Well, he says, yes, my beautiful mother tried to stand up,

it's between the dog and my wife,

but he said, he killed my beautiful mother too, you see.

Oh, he's on his ass, he turns around in the line.

And then, 10 minutes later, he goes back up, he goes back to see the guy,

he says, tell me, your dog, he's not allowed, by chance.

And the guy says, yes, of course, you put it on the floor, like everyone else.

The guy goes to the box, he sees two beautiful siamese sisters,

and he approaches them, he says, I can invite you to dance,

it's not going to bother you, no, no, he usually dances,

I can hug you, it's not going to bother you, no, no, he usually,

we're going to have a drink at home, yes, but your sister,

you, no, she agrees, he starts bringing her home,

he has gallows and everything, we can go to my room,

yes, but your sister, no, no, she usually doesn't take care of herself.

And while he goes down a siamese, the other one comes out,

a clarion, a clarion player, like it's all night,

he leaves good friends and everything, and then the siamese,

two or three years later, he walks in the street,

and there's one who says to his sister, hey, you know him,

he's crazy, that's where you hit your little friend, you remember,

you think he's still living there, yes, look, there's his name,

we ring, and the other one says, but you think he's going to remember us?

You know the story of the Beg, the day I found a man who met a friend,

and a friend said, you don't look happy today, you can't know what's coming to me,

how do you have problems, I can tell you, no, no, but you're nice,

but you have to, you have to, you have to tell me, tell me what's going on,

you don't know what happened to me with my beautiful mother who lives in my house,

well no, I don't know what happened to you, last week,

we were watching TV with my wife, my dog Rex,

and my beautiful mother,

at one point, I was watching Rex,

he was going to put his leg behind in his ear,

so I said to my beautiful mother,

you're not capable of doing that,

and that's why you're angry with your beautiful mother?

Yes, because as long as I say it, he was mimicking his leg behind.

Machine-generated transcript that may contain inaccuracies.